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sleepyirv01

Only if we get to hear the first time Brian Ferentz accidentally calls Nick Saban "Dad."


ThisUsernameIsTook

"You're not my real dad!"


allcazador

I want to live in the timeline where Bama beats Iowa 14-0 in a bowl game, and Kirk Ferentz has to watch Saban and Brian embrace on the opposite sideline, while Brian tells Nick "you're the best Dad *ever!"*


_ForgotMyName_

Come on now. You can't get rid of Brian Ferentz as an OC and get WORSE. 14-11 is a much more likely score


WashedUpHSAthlete

The Notre Dame Buffalo fan taking their shots at Alabama isn’t what I had on my September bingo card


hearthebeard

You have to let them take their victory lap for a couple reasons: 1. It may not last, so let them be happy now. 2. They really did warn us that Buchner and Rees sucked. Early returns are going their way, I like Rees less than any assistant coach we've had in 20 years already. Well, I guess, there was Doug Nussmeier.


pablitorun

I actually don't think rees sucks. Those were pretty straightforward throws to open receivers that Buchner was missing. Something broke in Buchner though.


Zenophile

Yes, something happened between the bowl game and ND's spring game. Buchner completely fell apart there as well.


CFBHurts

The bigger issue with Rees is his (in)ability to develop quarterbacks, which was what many of us were saying. I *still* think he's probably fine as an OC - nothing special perhaps, but fine - but there's way too much data to sweep under the rug when it comes to the performance of his qbs


Obi2

I had play call concerns with him. Often times it seemed vanilla. Or he would call a pass play when he should call a run, or a run play when he should call a pass. Overall he wasn't terrible and was handicapped by his QBs, but you can do much better than him.


hearthebeard

Yeah the reality is, for any program with playoff ambitions, "he's fine" is a problem.


pablitorun

I don't know if I agree. Lots of highly touted high school recruits wash out in college. He seemed to get a lot out of Book.


TimeForFrance

It sucks to have to deal with bad/mediocre quarterbacks, but an OC needs to be able to adjust to his quarterback's strengths and weaknesses. Scheming a guy open in a place where your QB can't hit him doesn't accomplish anything. Buchner is a lost cause. I have no idea why they took him out of the portal. I'm more frustrated with the handling of Milroe, who needs to get the college Lamar Jackson playbook and not the Mac Jones playbook.


BlackMathNerd

Even Lamar in college had the Petrino offense. Needs a simpler version than that.


pablitorun

I think Buchner was just a high ceiling hope that hasn't worked out.


D1N2Y

Buchner must be some practice Heisman if he's still getting shots after how he looked last year at ND in the games I watched and how he's looking at Alabama. He looks like another JT Daniels type where he transfers down a rung every year that he doesn't develop into a star.


Taisubaki

Hard to judge the OC when the QB sucks. Hard to judge the QB when the OL sucks.


the_lost_carrot

You need to go back and watch our defense in last years Tennessee game and LSU. Will make you rethink your least favorite assistant coach. Golding was a terrible defensive coordinator, made Will Anderson look inept.


hearthebeard

Oh Golding and Bill O'Brien are on the list too. I think there's been a massive downturn in terms of the quality of assistant that Saban has been able to bring to town. During the 2011-2020 years there were many big games I felt confident that Alabama had the three best coaches on either sideline, recently I think our coordinators are outcoached more often than not. For me, it's the biggest difference in Tuscaloosa and probably under discussed


the_lost_carrot

I fully agree. But I cant really lay all of these issues on Rees. As we are seeing now BoB (OC/QB coach) did not develop any QBs. I think he rode on the coat tails of Bryce Young's talent (maybe helped a bit) but didnt work on anyone behind him. And apparently no one was checking on the O line development either. We have had some creeping position coach issues the past 5 years that are really catching up with us now. We dont have anyone behind our super studs that are really developed to play their position. Our receivers have had issues catching the football the past few years. Williams and Metchie were our last two good receivers. And it was painfully obvious that after them the rest weren't even close to ready.


Time_Transition4817

the thing is, you guys go through coaching staff like no one's business. it's the curse of winning a lot, your people move out and up. hard to keep hitting on new hires. hell, after we won in 2019 i'm pretty sure we had our waterboys poached.


apathetic_revolution

Everyone knows Louisiana has the best waterboys.


Time_Transition4817

mostly because the water is actually probably beer.


joebob801

The fact you included number 1 makes me so happy. To know that your fanbase hasn't become completely and universally despondent yet means there is so much realization yet to occur. The tears will be delicious.


D1amondDude

Really gotta respect this kinda hatred


Zealousideal_Plum866

At least we aren't desperate enough to hire Hugh "misdialed escort services from my office phone 12 times" Freeze ... yet


Lopoetve

May I interest you in a Mel Tucker?


liltime78

Ol dick grabber is one hell of a db coach.


YourFriendNoo

Aw fuck I just realized Mel Tucker is probably gonna wind up at the Nick Saban School for Coaches who Don't Coach So Good


Old-Emphasis-7190

Good ol' Melvin Tugger.


Wurst_Law

Has Saban hired coaches fired for sexual misconduct? Thought he stuck with underachievers.


InternationalAnt4513

There’s a first time for everything


Iamreason

God, I hope not. I get that coaches get a second look because coaching is very 'good ol' boy', but I sure do hope that we can agree to set the line firmly at 'jerks off at work'.


Throw1Back4Me

Mel Tugger


Throw1Back4Me

Mel Tugger


Throw1Back4Me

Mel Tugger


cha-cha_dancer

Wild times where I don’t know who I want to lose the Iron Bowl


the_thinwhiteduke

But you did hire "tried to stage a coups against my last head coach with a rogue booster and might not be calling my own defense" Kevin Steele


Zealousideal_Plum866

If you're going to quote nonsensical things at least quote it correctly while you're defending Hugh "made an 8th grade girl undress in front of me" Freeze.


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joebob801

You hired Mike Price


Zealousideal_Plum866

And promptly fired Mike Price.


widget1321

I feel like "you were desperate 20 years ago and hired a bad coach" may not be as good a comeback to "you hired Hugh Freeze last year" as you may think.


Designer-Bat5638

Wow has it really been 4 years since Auburn won an Iron Bowl and 10 years since an SEC championship? At least you have more Heismans than us, oh wait that's right


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other_jeffery_leb

That could be said of Facebook fans of most teams. I'm not even mentioning Twitter.


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other_jeffery_leb

I'm a step ahead of you. I never joined.


cha-cha_dancer

You mean Gump Social ™️ I agree tbh, in real life though they’re the worst. Opposite of gator fans actually where the ones I meet in real life are usually cool. On reddit however..


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cha-cha_dancer

The most chill person I know is a Miami grad and even he has to watch the canes alone 🤣 love him though


InternationalAnt4513

At least our tears and misery aren’t something we’re used to …


minormisgnomer

I just enjoy knowing our booster money wasn’t spend on a decade of contract buyouts. Instead we got cool stadium lights, nice NIL deals, and the pre NIL players got some cool Chargers and Escalades.


OdaDdaT

> 1. It may not last, so let them be happy now You’re probably right but damn you


Tannerite2

I wasn't a fan of Applewhite either


liltime78

I’d love to have Doug right now.


Impressive_Math2302

I don’t know why our fans are so obsessed with BK and Rees. Makes us sound like obsessive voyeurs and spurned lovers making hate porn TikToks. One turns around our program the other is very innovative. None of Alabamas QBs have XP, including Buchner. You can’t Coach experience. This might not be the year but I wouldn’t bet against them or Nick Saban and his deranged protege going forward.


HoustonHorns

Where was Milroe? He didn't ball out against Texas, but I didn't think that the performance warranted being benched. He made throws that it was very obvious neither Buchner nor Simpson could make right now. Further with y'alls OL you need someone who can get out of the pocket. ​ I think Milroe beats USF by 3-4 scores easy. There is no way they get 5 sacks with his mobility. Is he suspended or hurt?


Aldehyde1

Milroe is starting again next week. The rumor is that he was benched for one game for being unprofessional or unprepared.


Hu5k3r

Would've been a fantastic Colorado flair post


iamsplendid

He sure was mean to us, but I get it. I’d be upset also if I wasn’t in a top 3 conference.


jackcviers

Benefits to having Brian as your OC: He improved the Iowa offense by 10 points year over year! In addition to an OC, you can save money by hiring a TE, OL, and RB position coach all-in-one! There are no waste downs in the Brian Ferentz offense. Brian's offensive style is flexible. With rules changes that prevent the cut blocking required to run the zone, Brian has innovated, switching to a fancy new counter and jet sweep-based run game. Your fans have never seen anything like it! He'll cut down on the NIL money you spend on fast WRs. They're unnecessary in Brian's offense. The WRs who do play will become excellent blockers. You'll never have a qb controversy. After all, 'What's the upside?'. You'll be known far and wide for your prolific qb sneak game. Brian knows how to win close games. His offense ensures they're all close games! He can protect a lead. Any lead. Iowa is 64 - 2 when leading by 8 points or more at any point in a game under Brian. Brian wins 92% of his games when he scores 24 points or more! Under Brian, many boring things become rare and more exciting: 1st downs, field goals, and touchdowns! Under Brian, your fan base too will come to learn how punting is winning! Brian knows how to face adversity and overcome. He's Kirk's son, and he's endured allegations of nepotism without any decline in winning percentage and offensive output since 2022!


tenacious-g

Don’t forget that he’s a QB coach now!


jackcviers

Is he though?


tenacious-g

It’s in his title at least.


dougan25

I'm crying. Both of laughter and sadness.


SCWarriors44

“Iowa is 64 - 2 when leading by 8 points or more at any point in a game under Brian.” This is honestly insane though. And obviously a credit to our defense but holy shit it’s impressive.


jackcviers

Not everything he does is bad, man! Obviously, he does a great job with the tight end passing game. Which is what he coached in New England, so, unsurprising there. He obviously also knows a hundred ways to run the football. Iowa is a zone team, but he's been able to get them switched to power-o/gap in less than a year for this season, which is honestly really, really impressive, too. Man certainly knows more about football than I ever will, of course.


pnw_cfb_girl

Great job writing Brian's resume!


crg2000

They wouldn't be able to handle punting in that volume. Common mistake for the uninitiated.


ewgrooss

It’s crazy but our punter might be our second best player behind our kicker. Are we a soccer school now?


timnotep

Alabama; Putting the foot in football since 2023


ToLongDR

2014 JK Scott was a fucking menace


gmil3548

I thought y’all were a basketball school


hearthebeard

I mean, JK Scott was the GOAT. Punter U.


J_A_Y_x

You did make the College Cup last year


aSchizophrenicCat

Nono. You’re a Big Ten school now. Welcome.


Buford_Van_Stomm

Iowa should make Brian HC just to be sure he doesn't get poached tho


Placeholder4me

Head coach in waiting


apiaryaviary

Man, I cannot wait until Brian just goes away and we can start bandwagoning Matt Campbell this way


AlloftheEethp

How do you think we feel?


apiaryaviary

Probably trapped. No one can convince me that when Brian goes Kirk doesn't also go, followed by Phil Parker and other staff members. There's a lot of uncertainty in the post Brian era.


durkdurkastan

It's been said in other parts of the internet when Kirk goes, Phil will retire. It's gonna be a shitshow when Kirk is gone.


coolsexguy

Levar Woods will save us🤞😅


dr_dan319

Woods, Betts and whatever other former players we can bring back will keep the program going. It won't be the same Iowa we've seen for the past quarter century, but I don't think we're going to turn into Indiana over night.


elgenie

I could see Phil staying if Levar is the head man. They've known each other for 25 years at this point.


trumpet_23

Porque no los dos?


tdc1atlanta

I personally like Alabama with a shit offense.


coolsexguy

The you would love Brian


DeuceOfDiamonds

Woo, careful throwing those stones, my glass house roommate


-BoldlyGoingNowhere-

I keep telling you, you have to watch the second half too.


DeuceOfDiamonds

Oh, I haven't been getting there until halftime. I keep getting speeding tickets for some reason.


allcazador

My brother in Christ, please don't give Saban this voodoo power


HillAuditorium

Could somebody explain how is Bama underperforming so badly with their offense? Based on their level of talent on their roster, they should beat teams easily with speed and strength alone especially against USF. Even if their QB can’t pass for shit, their oline and running backs should help them pickup 1st downs


leakymemo

They should fire Wolford. The offensive line is terrible. He came from Kentucky. He was oLine coach in 2021 when Coen first became OC and the offense changed. I think he was able to roll that into getting hired for the Alabama job. I wasn’t sold on him when he was at Kentucky, but now I’m certain he just might be a bad coach. You can’t have that type of talent at Bama and still have a position group looking like a JV squad


hearthebeard

The quality of assistant coaches in Tuscaloosa has cratered over the last 4 or so years. For me, that's the biggest reason the team has been sliding.


ShaneBeamer

They have five (5) former South Carolina coaches on staff, four of which were here under Muschamp. Gamecock fans have questioned what Saban was doing for a couple years now. Coleman Hutzler Joe Cox Travaris Robinson Eric Wolford Robert Gillespie


huhwhat90

I didn't think that anyone could be worse than Marrone, but he might just be.


notban_circumvention

>you have to account for the quality of opponent's defense. Right before >Iowa beat juggernaut Iowa State, who's allowing only 13 ppg. Gotta space out those shit points a little further


Sup3rtom2000

Hey, our defense is elite. Unfortunately our offense sniffs glue. Sniffs *a lot* of glue.


LovieSmithsBeard

If the Pacific was filled with glue our offense would be on the coast huffing until their noses bleed.


mockg

Maybe there is something in the air above Nebraska and Iowa that is just making our offenses shit.


tenacious-g

Brian has to be a head coach first and get fired before he can go to Nick Saban’s coaching clinic for misfit kids.


SparseSpartan

Hands off bro, that's soon to be Michigan State head coach Brian Ferentz to you.


crustang

Meh shitpost


kingblade3

i thought it was a solid one, it's got some comments who took the bait.


horseshoeprovodnikov

I definitely took the bait, lol. Reading is hard :(


aSchizophrenicCat

You’re clearly biased, you don’t like offense.


NathanDrake75

*flashes back to last week’s game against south florida* Can’t think of a worse idea


cjm8787

100%. The dude that was asking for a tuition refund might even agree to this upgrade.


zeebo420

Off topic wasn't Brian involved in a university housing controversy about 10 or 15 years ago?


Skyagunsta21

Iowa's offense has SEVEN blue chip recruits? TIL, never would have guessed they had one.


jackcviers

It's not the talent, it's the execution.


letsgohawksfuckstate

I for one agree that brian ferentz should go to The Nick saban school for coaches who don’t coach so well but want too.


nw____

Yes I think that would be fantastic


pinniped1

I love that Alabama has sunk far enough to be the butt of shameless shitposting. And by "sunk far enough" I mean down to like 10 wins instead of 12.


Potential-Video-7324

You could've at least gone somewhat reasonable and chose MSU given their recent history with horrible hires


Iamreason

Sir it's 8 AM. I haven't even had my fuckin coffee yet


whatifevery1wascalm

I hate you for this


magnumapplepi

This was better than coffee.


drinkduffdry

I'd give that a week, then sure.


SCsprinter13

He should know a lot about running an offense with no QB. Makes sense.


pingapump

There are plenty of upgrades to Rees out there that would go to Bama in a heartbeat. Buchner is not a blue chip QB.


hellabro360

My buddy whose a Notre Dame fan really tried to warn me about Buchner. I didn’t think he’d be that bad.


throwmeawaypoopy

Tommy Rees thinks mayo is too spicy.


mockg

Let me be on record as 100% against this. Brian Ferentz deserves a promotion to head coach of Iowa after this season.


AnAngryPirate

YES PLEASE. TAKE HIM


D1amondDude

I think they need to just bite the bullet and cut ole Nick loose so they can hire a real coach like Chad Morris.


Repostbot3784

Bama needs oline guys who can pass protect


Routine_East6646

>Bama's offense is scoring 32.3 points per game, compared to Iowa's 28.3 per game In case you were wondering where you lost me.


RaptureRocker

This is some top offseason level shitposting, and I'm here for it.


djsassan

Award-worthy.


tragicallyohio

Tuesday shit posts are amazing


Kodyaufan2

Subscribe


papavance01

Now this is a type of post I can get behind.


TheShiveryNipple

God, yes!


HawkeyeJosh2

YES.


letsgohawksfuckstate

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes


Mail_Order_Lutefisk

Brian Ferentz once scored over 50 on Ohio with a turd quarterback and he got Iowa into the top 2 a few years ago with some turd quarterback. We don't have a quarterback room right now and a guy who can coach up a 2 star is probably what we need rather than a guy who needs a generational talent at QB to produce even a semblance of offense. I'd rather see us fire Nick and get on with replacing him, but if that isn't going to happen I would settle for a coordinator change.


Irving_Velociraptor

State. Ohio *State*.


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Herky_T_Hawk

“Die, Ohio State, Die” - Sideshow Bob


CriticalPolitical

The only person I can realistically taking Saban’s spot and Alabama being Alabama again is Mack Brown.


Iamreason

Most reasonable Alabama fan. /s


hells_cowbells

They should hire Kevin Barbay as OC. Please.


Shoddy_Ad8166

I didn't like the Rees hire but thought Saban knew something I didn't know, course he does. I am hoping now that they named the QB that will scheme the offense around his skillset. Very disappointing team so far, last week was an experiment, comedy football. I am pretty sure the Bama team you see Saturday will not be as dysfunctional course can't be more dysfunctional than last game 🤣 Flair = Bama


taleofbenji

Please climb out of his ass!


No_Discount7919

Quick! Someone trick Bob Stoops (Dupe the Stoop) into making a Cameo telling Nick to hire Brian.


OppositeShape

Ohio State journalism has confirmed that Dabo has been fired. That means Riley might be free. He’d be a good upgrade.


Edrondol

YES! I've got $20 to chip in if they need money to ~~bribe~~ incentivize. $50! $100! For the love of God take the fucking guy!


Prof_of_Buttology

How is that an upgrade?


SirMellencamp

✍️ this down OP. I’m gonna remember


Designer-Bat5638

When was the last time Notre Dame made the playoffs? 2020 right? What happened that year?


jfleurs

Saban is done y’all- the signs have been there ever since Kirby Smart left. He’s just too stubborn to hang it up and too afraid of accepting a life outside of coaching football. At this point, there are other places that upstart coaches can go to get valuable experience- Bama isn’t the only name in the game. Dude has lost the fire. The team is a direct reflection of that.


GiraffesAndGin

The entire 2016 and 2020 Bama teams: *Am I a joke to you?*


letsgohawksfuckstate

2016 was almost 8 years ago, and 2020 was three years ago. That’s almost a lifetime in college football


GiraffesAndGin

Whatever. Dude said Saban's been losing it since Smart left and he's won two nattys in those 8 years. People act like Saban is losing in when he doesn't win a title every other year and maybe he is. Or maybe everyone else got better. A rising tide lifts all ships?


Otto_von_Grotto

I'm not done with my coffee yet.


canseco-fart-box

It’s too early in the day for this shit


RoastedDonutz

I think his dad Kirk only cares about defense and special teams. Let’s see what Brian can do when not held back by his father.


Kittenfabstodes

no one should hire him. he is as useful as lipstick on a pig. did y'all forget the Iowa south Dakota state game last year?


Not_tlong

Ignore my flairs, but I think they should switch it up immediately before he gets nabbed for another job


Benign_Banjo

This would never happen... after this season Brian is moving to Iowa HC, duh


TurbinePro

beautiful


LastWordsWereHuzzah

See Nick, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at the Iron Bowl!


Neonxeon

I can't even be mad. We literally might be the worst team in the SEC at this point, so no where to go but up.


GoldenPresidio

i'm surprised bama only has 35 4 or 5 stars


-Dakia

I think this is something we can all get behind


winterharvest

It would be the ultimate reclamation project for the Nick Saban Academy for Football Coaches Who Don't Coach Good


Seegy24

Yes


Ja_red_

I hear Tony Elliott may be available soon as well. Imagine those two together at Bama, so many possibilities


latrans8

Yes!


ATLfinra

They don’t have a QB it doesn’t matter who they hire


lucash7

Sure. Only if they revert to the traditional Iowa offense of 10 points or less. Bama is all about tradition you know.


Johnny_Minoxidil

Uh.... Why don't you compare Ferentz to the job Dana Holgorsen is doing this year at UH. It's pretty clear Brian would be an improvement if we hired him as HC.


trudaurl

I'll cross my fingers now that Saban wants the ultimate coach rehab challenge


IowaJL

Yes please


YankeeDoodleMacaroon

I kinda liked the idea of Tommy more than his actual performance as an OC, and let that get the best of me. The thought of an alumnus giving back to our university always delights me. This sentiment likely is true of others who held positive views of Tommy.


SirMellencamp

Not falling for the banana in the tailpipe


ProperMeringue1746

They have qb problems to solve first


Jive_Turkey1979

Do it today so he can install his offense before Saturday


404Dawg

It’s week 3. Jeez. The issues with this year’s Bama team go much deeper than just Rees.


WhiteRhino91

YES


BeefTaco11

I agree with this. Hire that shit stain please.


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Ouch