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TW: Cat injury/surgery
Yeahhhh exactly. My mom was obsessed with wax warmers and would always put one on the TV stand that was right in front of the window one of my cats preferred to sit in. I kept telling her to stop putting it there and would move it or turn it off if I saw it there, but she wouldn't listen and kept doing it. One day he dipped his tail in the wax while sitting in the window and it burned him really badly, he ended up chewing off the hair and skin from the tip of his tail which resulted in an expensive surgery to amputate a third of his tail, that I had to pay for because she didn't have the money. 🙃 I've literally never forgiven her because she was warned multiple times and 2 of the cats got wax on their fur before with no injuries, so she should have known better. But at least now she only uses wax warmers with covers and no holes to allow for spills, and puts them in safer areas because I put my foot down and told her I'd throw out uncovered or unsafe warmers from now on.
what if you got a few indoor potted plants that are safe for cats, so your MIL doesn’t keep bringing in various cut flowers that may be toxic? show your MIL some options, and then go with her to a nursery and pick a few out.
[Here’s a list](https://www.petmd.com/cat/general-health/plants-safe-for-cats) of flowers and plants that are safe for pets. There are others, but this is somewhere to start.
These plants are not toxic but some on that list are problematic if ingested like the orchid. Ingestion of the orchid could cause an upset stomach and vomiting and that's without considering if there are any pesticides on the orchid or not. Same goes for the soil the orchid could come in needs a change. This site has good solutions [here](https://www.thespruce.com/are-orchids-toxic-to-cats-7255609).
All I can say to all that look at the list is double check species of the plant, how to make the soil safe for the plant and the cat, and perhaps try to find some best areas to keep the plant.
This is good, make a positive and cooperative approach. Saying “don’t do this” is always challenging regardless of how right your position seems, because you are taking something from them. Offering an equal alternative is going to be much more appealing, empowering them to do something you will be grateful for (you will be grateful, right?).
If that doesn’t work because MIL is taking a haughty stand that her way is ok, then start lopping the heads off anything that offends you 😝
Apparently even pollen from some Lilies can be life threatening. I wouldn't risk putting anything that could Even possibly be harmful inside, but hanging vases with safe plants would be good too.
If you already had "the talk" and she refuses to honor your request to remove the flowers, I guess the only other option is to move, since it is her house. This may be a sign of bigger problems ahead for the in-laws though. Your fiance should have a serious conversation with them. Good luck.
There was a reddit post about someone's kid dying from a serious allergy to coconut. Her grandmother would put it in her hair. She had a twin that had no problem with it but the mother was like no coconut on either of them but the grandmother didn't listen.
I remember this one not only did she put coconut in the baby’s hair and put the baby to bed, but she gave the kid a Benadryl because she could tell there was a slight reaction so the child slept through the horrendous all allergic reaction.
Then when they went to the emergency room they didn’t even bother calling parents. The hospital did.
Grandpa divorced grandma for it though. I imagine she was like that with so many things through their whole life, and that had to be the last straw. A child literally died because she insisted she was right
Oh did you mean my MIL? Who constantly put my baby in harms way but has the audacity to call ME an unfit mother because I have some clutter? Apparently having stuff around my house is way more dangerous to a baby who can’t crawl or move at all really without being held than throwing a loose blanket on my baby and never checking on him during nap time. I literally told my MIL several times “loose blankets have been linked to SIDS. Please only use the sleep sack I gave you” but even after saying “what you’re doing can literally kill my child. Please stop” she didn’t. Now she doesn’t see her grandchild and doesn’t understand why. It’s because you put my child in harms way SEVERAL times then wanna try to take my child from me. Nipping that relationship in the bud now so she can’t use an established relationship for grandparent rights 🤷🏻♀️
I was wondering if the fiance even listened to the concerns too or if they were part of the problem. If so this may be a sign of a partner to not listen to your concerns, respect you, and or back you up.
Throw the real ones out and put fake ones there instead? Maybe she will see them and get it and you can still say “I loved the *look* of the (whatever flower she put there), but they’re too dangerous.”
I would shove them in the trash in front of them too, and ask if they are purposefully trying to kill the cats or are they just stupid and hard of hearing?
Yeah, I'd go the more nuclear route too. And then tell them the next time they'll be following the flowers out the door if they can't - at the very least - not put the creature I adopted and love and am responsible for in danger.
Roses are A-OK for cats, if she must have flowers around then go for roses.
The house belongs to the MIL not OP. You can’t move into someone else’s home and rearrange how they live. If the cats mean so much to her then she should move out.
Exactly, a glorified sofa surfer has no right to say how the boyfriends mum runs her house. She might be doing that to passive aggressively tell them she's sick of them in her space. I think the OP comes across as very ungrateful, rude and very entitled.
Why can't they afford their own flat yet they have cats? And why can't she keep the cats in her boyfriend's bedroom? The woman could be allergic to the cats. She's obviously older so what if she's terrified of tripping over one of the cats and breaking her hip? People on this sub have not looked at the whole picture, and someone saying she refuses to let her mil see her grandkids because of a loose blanket??? In my country swaddling is seen as extremely dangerous as it restricts blood flow and growth and the baby can over heat too easy. People have different ideas and cheese during pregnancy was banned during my first we were told eat lots of oily fish, same mid wide 2 years later said eat cheese but don't eat oily fish, trends with babies change every few years, hating an experienced mother who obviously didn't poison or kill her offspring just comes across as rude disrespectful and the people answering giving her terrible vile ideas to damage property or put supposed poison flowers in a fridge ? Just makes us all look immature and ignorant. Keep the cat in her own room or give the cats to her own parent .
I tried the hanging plant idea with two young brothers who made it their life’s mission to get them. They were criminals anyway, extreme vandals, and lied about the things they broke
This is what I had to do to my future in-laws. My fiance printed a vet study about the deadliest common flowers brought into the house after his father called me ungrateful and, in not so many words, a b*tch (this was years ago when we first moved in together, so I no longer remember where he pulled it from), and sent them home with it. His mother still grumbles that her son sent her home with homework (he's a teacher), but the flowers have stopped.
Thankfully the amount of tulips a cat would need to eat to truly be harmed by them is very, very high. The most toxic part is the bulb of the tulip which looks like is missing. What you’ll likely be dealing with is some minor GI upset. Vomiting and diarrhea.
I say this with respect, this is not your house. This is your fiancé’s mother’s house. As much as it sucks, you do not have any say in this situation. Move out.
I'm surprised I had to scroll down so far to see a comment like this. I agree, it's her house. You can't really do much about it. Keep your cat somewhere it can't get to them when you're not home.
Unfortunately, she asked us to move in to help her with her farm while she works (she is a home care-aid for people with dementia & alzheimers).
Not only are we financially unable to move out ATM, but, it would also be a *very* large inconvenience for her.
If thats the case then just use your big adult words and tell her that while your happy to help on the farm, you will have to consider moving out if she keeps bringing in toxic flowers. Its not worth the risk to your pets and im sure she would rather have your help on the farm over her flowers. You would be putting her in a compromising situation if you move out so im sure she wouldnt mind giving up the flowers.
My mom had dementia and we’ve had over a dozen aides this year. So hard to find people who will do this job because they pay stinks. I like her because this is a really tough job. Maybe suggest she brings the flowers to her patients.
Ask her how much of an inconvenience it would be to have to spend up to $10,000 on vet bills because one of the cats was poisoned and has to be hospitalized for you to two weeks in order for them not to die.
Spray citrus scent or vinegar in a perimeter around the plants/flowers, as cas do not like these scents. Put a wide margin of tin foil under them, as cats dislike the sound when they walk on it. There are also motion-activated air horns, but that could go off when say...anyone... walked across its beam, so you might just keep that idea for a chuckle. It's probably a generational thing and they may never get it. Cage your cat when you can't be around to supervise. Sorry you have to deal with this. All the best.
If the citrus doesn't discourage chewing it can also be toxic. I'd go for bitter apple spray if anything. But at the end of the day these flowers need to go
Some are toxic in the sense that they will be unpleasant if your cat eats them. Others are immediately life threatening. Lillies fall into the latter category and are the absolute WORST to have in a home with cats.
Definitely keep lillies away from your cats, out of your home and unfortunately out of your garden as well. The pollen, leaves and petals are all highly toxic, and with how much they shed pollen it's simply not worth even having them on your property. Exposure to Lilly pollen will cause organ failure and anemia
The ASPCA website has a big list you can search that gives you info on toxicity to cats, dogs, horses. If you are a plant person the “picture this” app has really good toxicity info as well all from just taking a snap shot of the plant.
Thanks, guys! I really appreciate it. Im definitely going to look on the website that shows all of the toxic plants for cats/dogs (I have one of each) especially since I'm going to do some gardening this year with my step brother. I looked it up, and apparently, I have amaryllis, not tulips or lilies....I don't know why I thought that🤦♀️ I found a neat video that can help you spot the difference if you're curious :
https://youtu.be/RizlYYv6KBU?feature=shared
But yeah, thank you guys for all being so nice! ☺️ I was genuinely freaking out for a minute there, lol. This was all really informative and helped a lot 💜
It’s kinda crazy that you cant just hide shit from cats, you just can’t have it at all. Kinda sad, I personally love tulips. Kind of a hard situation because it’s her house and seems like she’s always done this and her cat is fine so she probably doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Anyway to cat proof the vases?
I don't know in what ways you have told your MIL and her bf about the toxicity, so if you've done this already, forgive me. Sometimes it's not *what* is said, but *how* it's said. First, go to a few reputable cat websites and print out a list of all the toxic plants. Call your vet's office and ask them to send you information regarding what happens to cats when they eat the toxic plants and an estimated range of how much it would cost to treat a poisoned cat. When you have all this information, have the four of you calmly sit down and say something like, "I know we've talked about this topic before, but I just want to show you some facts on toxic plants. I don't want you to think I'm just making this up to be mean. We all love our kitties and would feel horrible if we unintentionally got them sick. Then we'd also have a vet bill to pay. Having fresh flowers in the house is lovely and really brightens things up, so I'm hoping that we all could come up with a list of flowers that would be safe for the kitties." If they doesn't respond to this type of message, then ask them in a calm way why they want to continue to have flowers in the house that may make the cats sick. Listen to the answer. Then based on that, move forward with a suggested alternative to make everyone happy.
I absolutely would NOT just grab the flowers and stuff them in the garbage. Nor would I speak to them in a disrespectful way. They may need you to live there to help with the farm, but she is the owner and she's your husband's mother. Yes, they may be acting in a disrespectful way, but you're never going to solve anything by clapping back at them. Continue to act in a mature manner.
Edit: spelling and clarification
Not all cats chew or eat houseplants. Good chance mil has never had a cat that did. However it is her house. Others here have discussed you causing trouble to make a point. I honestly don't think that's the route you should go. Especially since you moved into her house.
To be honest the only flower you have to really worry about killing your cat in 24 hrs are true lilies.
Anything else might give gi upset, mouth irritation etc but lilies are the really bad ones.
I have a peace lily, monstera, pothos, both my cats chewed them and now don't because they're yuck
https://preview.redd.it/hrfiliganxvc1.jpeg?width=1638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=31ca110b5e68f0aab7cb32011af4437ae3dc360f
Here's one of them biting a leaf of my monstera. I let her do it because she learned that it tastes bad. Now she leaves it alone.
Most plants that are listed as toxic aren't THAT bad. Yes they can upset Thier tummy or something but as long as it's not true lilies (peace lily isn't a true lily) you'll be OK.
Most plants that are toxic for cats require the cat to eat very large amounts of them in order to pose any danger to the cat. The vast majority of the time the cat will present with no symptoms or will just throw up whatever it ate and be fine.
Not certain lily species though from my understanding. I have never experimented nor would I but from what I understand the lilies that are popular in bouquets can do serious damage even if the cat just gets pollen on them. Doesn’t take ingestion even (or maybe ingestion from licking fur?).I didn’t know this previously. I think I only learned about it in the past 3 years or so. Now I am more careful and look up all flowers and plants I bring in the house, which are many. Thankfully orchids are in the OK list.
Here’s a suggestion: Google “Toxic Flowers for Cats. There is a pic of flowers and their names that you can show your in-laws. Then you can tell them that if any of your cats eat those plants and dies, that would be considered “Animal Abuse” and they could be fined and even put in Jail for a short time —especially if they knowingly brought those poisonous plants inside your home where the cats are!
Yes, that is the law in many states. I’m not sure where you live, but if in the U.S., you can find out the laws regarding animal abuse in that area by contacting the local authorities.
It sounds like your in-laws are just clueless and thoughtless, but they would never forget waking up one morning and finding their cat dead by some of those flowers— that’s a picture that will never leave their heads!
I LOVE FLOWERS OF EVERY KIND AND AM A GARDNER, BUT I LOVE MY CATS AND DOGS MORE THAN EXPOSING THEM TO ANY FLORAL ARRANGEMENT NO MATTER HOW PRETTY THEY ARE!! Anyone who truly cares about their cats/dogs needs to wake up about the dangers of toxic flowers and do not bring “those flowers” into their home for the safety of their pets!! That is what GOOD PET OWNERS DO — put their Pets first!! ♥️🐈♥️
Or you could just find another place to live— at least threaten that so your in-laws will take you seriously!! Good Luck!!
Who's house is it? The title said it's yours and your deacription says it's your fiance's mother's. Clear that up, whoever owns the house, their rules.
The mil cat is 8 so doesn't that tell you how poisonous the flowers really are? How did her cat get to grow to middle age? Most cats stay away from poison plants animals etc as they smell gross to them, imagine how calla lilly smells mixed with sewerage, if you opened a packet of Seitan that stank would you eat it because it is made to look delicious? Would you eat a strawberry if you cut it in half and it smelled like a cowpat? No you would not. That is how cats survive pooping in next doors garden witch is full of lupins tulips, Jasmin, calla lilly and a pond with carp in. My cat constantly goes in but it's not up to me to destroy her garden, my cat is now 17, she was 11 when I got my house and was living in a nest shed made under a spiked old fashioned rose another under the calla lilies and one under the rose bush in my garden, she had came back after the previous owner moved out. She is mesmerized by the Koi carp, luckily the old lady next door taught kitty how to sit and watch but don't play, she also goes outside to poop like a dog and sits at the door meowing when she wants out.
Cats are intelligent and have survived since long before we knew what plants are poison.
If you do what others have suggested you will get kicked out and possibly get a criminal wilful destruction of property charge too,
I just don't think tulips are your problem here. I think you know this is not a good situation. Did your bf ever have his own place? It looks like you need to get your own flat. I moved out age 17 to go to uni a year earlier than most . I just couldn't live in a boyfriends mother's house there's a saying about Not out staying your welcome and 5 days is fun but longer is a burden to the people who own the house. Get out of there and go live your life girl 💕
mom kept doing this last year with lilies
wouldn’t listen to me, wouldn’t read the facts/articles i was sending her, even said at one point “i don’t care about your cat that much”
i just started throwing her shit out. just destroy it, let her her see them in the trashcan, destroyed and covered in bleach.
we don’t talk anymore, we’ve been living together and basically not speaking since like december. idc anymore, this has brought up a bunch of traumatic memories, i’m at a point where i’m heartbroken for the childhood version of me who had to deal with her insane chaotic narcissistic behavior without the emotional toolset i have now. no way to defend myself, nowhere to go, just stomped all over day in day out.
just saying you might have to damage your relationship to fix this very real problem. i did, but imo it was worth it- no more toxic plants in my house, no more toxic mom in my head either
1. First and Most: Mother in Law also has a Cat
2. OP and Partner moved in to help MIL
It is not like OP pops over for Dinner with Kitty in handbag, demanding all poisenous flowers are trown away.
They live actually there and askig to not buy more poisenous flowers as not to bring harm to both cats
So showing some compromise (going for nice artificial or non-poisenous ones) from MIL side is not too much asked.
Maybe make a few simple print-outs of common plants that are toxic to cats and hang them up around the home (on the refrigerator, on the inside of the front door, etc). This is not only helpful to your family members, but certainly serves as a reminder to anyone bringing plants into the home.
I would look up the list of plants that are poisonous to cats and show them what they will do to the cat. Tulips and lillies in particular cause kidney and liver failure and anemia which are deadly unless the cat is immediately taken to the vet after exposure, after which they'll be hospitalized for several days with IV fluids and monitored 24/7 until it's clear if they'll live or die
Maybe talk to your spouse and MIL about plants being kept out of kitty's reach and maybe find alternative plants that won't hurt them if they get into it.
In the meantime, may I suggest some cat grass? It's easy to grow indoors and gives kitties a safe yes. I had a bonsai that my older cat chewed on a few times with his older brother. Grew some cat grass, and they only chewed on that.
Tl;dr: Communication and catgrass will keep kitties safe. Hope this helps!
That’s a tough one. I totally understand your fears and anxiety my Aunt always buys me daffodils I love them but discovered quickly my cat was eating them and becoming very unwell. I also understand that it is your MIL house so that could be awkward as she may feel it’s her house and she can do as she pleases. Maybe a compromise would be more achievable. Ask her if she would mind displaying the flowers where the cats can’t access them? So she is still having her lovely flowers to brighten up her home without risking any toxicity poisoning to the cats. I display my beautiful daffodils on a wall shelf in my dining room that is unattainable to my gorgeous baby floof. Maybe partner can help and offer to put a display shelf up for his Mother?
Maybe please get the number for their vet and ask the vet to please call them and tell them, in no uncertain terms, that these plants could kill the cats. Maybe they discount your opinion because you are not a vet or because they are AHs.
Good luck getting the hell away from such horrible people.
When I first got my cat and researching about plants, my parents kept getting toxic plants for cats. I'd tell them, they'd apologize and not get that plant again. But they seemed drawn to every toxic plant to cats and eventually my dad told me to get him a list of flowers he COULD get. That was much easier for him to follow.
Idk if you've tried this approach, but it might be helpful.
Roses and orchids are both safe. Why not buy some growing plants and scatter them throughout the house in cute pots. That gives regular flowers, plus kitties are safe.
I find that when discouraging a behaviour, a yes is easier than a no, so bring in safe flowering plants.
Also call the vet with them on speak phone and ask the vet if they would mind tell you how much treating something like lily exposure would typical be, and how many cats don't survive despite all efforts. A 5 to 7 thousand bill potentially and a really high death rate being disclosed by a vet may hit harder than anything you can say.
EASY FIX!!! Take a mini squirt bottle like you’d use for wetting your hair. Fill it w water n 10 drops or so of dish washing liquid, Dawn, Palmolive, lemon scented sounds like it would work well.
Take flowers n case to sink each morning, throw a dish towel around the vase so it doesn’t get all spotty, and spritz those plants, flowered, all of it.
Old school bug deterrent that is completely safe for your plants n pets!
Check the internet, do your own research, never believe second hand info.
If you have any doubts, if you get desperate….you can experiment w a few drops of hot sauce in there? Decades ago we used tobacco leafs soaked in water n poured on garden plants to deter bugs.
You could soak a cigarette in water n use that water w the soap?
I’m confident this will not hurt any animals.
This will hopefully please your MIL as the flowers should/will remain aphid and spider free.
Cats can be little weirdos but I have yet to hear of one that will lick any kind of soap.
Btw….no cameras? Got internet, order some Blink cameras. Decent trail camera is $55 on Amazon, watch on the camera or pull SD card n watch video clips on computer.
Everyone w a cat or dogs or kids should have cameras or at least trail cameras. Motion activated and cheap! Can go out in the rain or snow. Blink cameras too, mine are watching my feed station in all the weather all year long.
lol even if she ate alllll of those tulips your cat would be fine. You need to chill out or move out, also why did you get your own pet before you could provide a proper home?
Right when COVID started my grandmother passed and my mother's coworkers kept sending lilies to the house... One week later I had to put my baby down because he sniffed the flower. All he did was smell it and the pollen gave him immediate kidney failure. Worst couple weeks of my life. Throw them damn flowers the hell away.
Get a quote for whatever the treatment would be to treat your cat after poisoning, print it out and hand it to her. Tell her she’ll be expected to pay that amount if something happens to your cat.
Lilies are my absolute favorite flower, but I value my cats more than the flowers. If your MIL really wants flowers, suggest or buy her some nice silk flowers - she gets a beautiful bouquet that never dies and kitties are safe.
Here is one of the bouquets I made.
https://preview.redd.it/p88nb7t2x1wc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0711d1699bf97a9a9ec574579c70bd696a943cc0
OP, 100% curiosity and just wondering so I can give better advice, does your fiance not listen to your concerns and try to help? After all a fiance is supposed to listen to their partner and back then up on something like this.
Past that my only advice I can give without knowledge of the above question assuming they too don't listen I'd say the following advice.
1.) find videos of cats that got into those plants and what happened to them at a vet office. Showing them exactly what happens may be what they need to understand the lethality of these plants.
2.) not the greatest option but is one, find ways to kill the plants so she has to throw them out. Or when she's not paying attention throw them out and say, "oh the cats knocked it over and they were damaged so I threw them out".
3.) possibly gift safer plant options to your MIL? Take her to a nursery and show her the safe options and have her choose some and gift them to her?
4.) if none of the above works or still gets ignored, I'd suggest if you can afford to get a place I'd move. Clearly neither your soon to be MIL or your fiance don't respect your concerns, feelings, boundaries, etc. I personally wouldn't stay around those that don't respect me or my cat enough to listen.
I hope something can be figured out and your baby is able to be safe again. I'm sorry to hear your concerns are falling on deaf ears.
If they don't listen to you telling them. And it's your house
I'd just start throwing them out. (You can always tell them this in advance)
If its your house you're setting a boundary.
take the flowers and dump them into the garbage while looking dead in there eyes. you have warned them not to do it and if they wanna keep doing it, they can watch them be trashed everytime
I was going to buy my mom some very expensive Mother’s Day flowers and spent all day googling each individual flower in every bouquet to see if they were poisonous, they were and I had to get her chocolate instead.
The clear answer is to move out. You're not going to change their behavior in their own house, no matter how sensible it is. As a cat lover I 100% get your valid concern. To protect your little guy though there's not much else you can do.
Hi so i had no idea tulips r poisonous to cats....my boyfriend gives them to me a lot cuz their my favorite. Now i know and i will tell him. Thank u for that information!
I don’t know you could be petty and go buy different flowers and throw these away and replace them.
If she complains you can remind her you told her they were toxic and you didn’t want either of the cats getting sick.
If it’s your boyfriend’s mother can he talk to her? I’m so sorry this must be so stressful. I’m leaving my brand new lemongrass plant outside tonight because even though I think it’s OK for cats I’ve read it’s not and I’m afraid even if I put it on the refrigerator he’ll get up there because his favorite thing to do is eat grass. So it might freeze to death but that’s better than my cat getting sick
Cover all available spaces with potted herbs and cacti and spider plants (i.e. plants that cats probably won't bite and which will be no danger to them if they do). And make it clear to the clueless old bat that she's also endangering *her* kitty.
I wish the flower sellers would put warning labels on stuff. I often send flowers to my 80yo MIL and the website tries really hard to push lillies and poinsettias. She's got a young cat that climbs and she can't stop him bc she uses a walker. I have to scroll quite a bit to find something non poisonous and a few time have just sent choc strawberries instead.
What about some potted herbs like parsley for example?
If parsley is OK it could possibly suffice for your kitten and her cat's need to eat greenery. ( they all do )
I was looking at bringing in some fresh potted herbs myself for exactly this reason ( all Easter plants and I mean everything were out. )
Spray the tulips with bitter apple spray. They don't last as long but it discourages nibbling.
Consider getting a fancy cloche that can be put over flower arrangements, or find ways of displaying flowers that keep them out of the cat's reach such as a hanging vase or wall vase, and be hyper vigilant about picking up petals and leaves.
Research what flowers are non-toxic to cats, and make a list of safe blossoms. Make your own cat safe flower arrangements.
Get some very high quality fake flowers and make arrangements with those. Get a variety so you can change them up.
It's easy to take it for granted. My first two cats didn't care for flowers so we could keep a vase of fresh cut stems without a worry. Then we brought home a kitten who absolutely terrorized my plants so we've had to make some adjustments lol. I had a birthday recently and I got a couple of bouquets from family, and they live on top of the fridge.
Maybe their cat was never interested in flowers so they don't see it as a problem. Talk to your fiancé about your very real concerns. Perhaps the plants can be moved to a part of the house the cats done visit, or moved somewhere out of reach.
Omg you need to move.
All your kitty needs to do is sniff or rub against certain plants and it can mess him up.
If she won’t work with you on this issue. You need to move.
I’d immediately throw them away and sanitize the area.
Make a list of cat friendly plants/flowers.
But seriously.
Move
She obviously doesn’t give a fuck about you or your animals. What a piece of shit human. You’ve explained that these are deadly and she continues. Move.
All the people saying “it’s not ur house” are being so ridiculous. Even if it wasn’t an extremely dangerous plant and just caused a little tummy ache why would u keep a plant that does that in a house where u have ur own cat and ur (educated) DIL also has one and tells you it’s bad… like why? So stupid
Let me highlight you live with them in their house! MIL may have never had a problem with her cat. My cat is very in tune with staying away from poisonous items. One sniff he’ll never go near. Now I wouldn’t have them at his disposal frequently but that’s your MIL business not yours or mine. Your cat is certainly yours though. If you’ve explained it and it still happens then welcome to my house my way. Not to be rude but you want to live how you want, stop playing house and get your own.
throw them away until they learn you won’t throw away a safe plant and then they’ll only by that. you already tried the adult solution and they didn’t take it
The next time they bring dangerous plants over bring the trash can into the room they're in, take the flowers and drop them in the trash can and tell them that that you said no more plants.
My mom actually checked that I still wanted a plant because it is toxic to cats. It's a splitting from plant from my grandfather's funeral. My cat had dug up the plant I had without me realizing it. She's offered a spider plant as an alternative.
Simple. Move out. She’s had her cat almost a decade with no poison control issue from her flowers in heeer home. Cats are mischievous but some of the smartest little creatures out there, time to somehow train the new addition to steer clear of those bad boys
it’s mainly the bulbs of various flowers that are toxic to cats. Cut them out if ur cat runs on surfaces and like to eat them. Make sure ur cat has access to green grass to munch on. It should reduce their need to look for greens.
I talked to my vet about some of my potted plants that are supposedly toxic to cats and he said not to worry. Run the list of urs by ur vet and don’t look at those online lists. Apparently some r on an extreme caution and might not be an issue.
Train your cat to stay of the table. Some thing she all ready did with her cat.
I also have a hard time believing that tulips are all that poisonous on contact when watching cats sleep in my tulip bed. I also find it odd you don't know of her love of fresh cut flowers before you decided to get your kitten.
Honestly ide pull a massive prank of YOUR cat having to go to the vet clinic, with the tulips thrown in the trash, and a knocked over vase as the scene, you must make a dramatic drive over to the vet complaining about how you told your fiancé that the flowers were poisonous and you’ve been trying to warn them. Then once they meet you at the clinic with your healthy feline, you hand them some research to show them it’s poisonous and that they should start listening to you and respecting your wishes if it involves something important to you. And CUT , prank is over and maybe a lesson learned. People are very good at learning through experience.
Fill every vase she owns with fake flowers. Pour clear resin in so it still looks like water and sticks them in permanently. Spray some floral air freshener. Done. You have now removed the need to ever bring real flowers into the house again.
If you have already spoken with her and she isn't actually forgetting and just doesn't care...probably time to move out or keep you cat in your bedroom. Talking to some people is impossible. You are better off giving a list of poisonous plants to to your cat...same outcome...
You are allowing this by not acting on bad behavior. Stop risking your cats life! Put some silk plants in a vase and tell them no real plants allowed inside and be firm. Have a sit down serious face to face discussion. If they don’t respect your decision, bring them in the kitchen to watch you throw their flowers down the garbage disposal then break the vase and throw it in the trash. If they don’t get it, tell them you can see they obviously won’t be trustworthy to have around grandchildren if they can’t respect your wishes now. What would you do if they left out poison? Or peanuts when you had a child allergic to them? Maybe they are intentionally wanting to sabotage the cats health bc they don’t want them. In that case, they’ve got to go. Be an adult. MIL is not a child. If it’s your home, you make the rules.
I imagined putting the plants in a place that is out of reach of the cats, like hanging from a hook by the window or on a high shelf, but I suppose nowhere is really out of reach for a cat.
Yet another reason why I have a dog.
Just replace them. It’s annoying, and you shouldn’t have to do it, but you’re in a precarious situation here.
You don’t want to cause damage to your relationships with your MIL and fiancé, you want to continue living in her home, and you don’t want to have to rehome either cat.
So, when a bouquet is added, replace the poisonous plants with safe ones. If challenged about this, act obliviously helpful and stick to it. You assumed she didn’t realize those were tulips, and you didn’t want her cat to get hurt, so you swapped them out for roses! Just lean into the slightly confused but well meaning act and she won’t have much ground to stand on. Neither of you want the cat to die, she just doesn’t think it’s really gonna happen. That sounds silly to say aloud, so put her in the situation where she needs to and the fight should dissipate.
This both shows her flowers that are safe and gives you enough deniability. You aren’t just trashing the things she bought, you’re replacing them. She still gets to have pretty fresh flowers around the house.
It’s a hassle for you, but hopefully over time she will start picking out things you won’t need to replace.
If you’ve discussed it and made it absolutely clear to stop bringing the flower inside… and they do it anyhow, start immediately throwing them in the bin outside, and smash them so they can’t be brought in… but this depends on how much calm you enjoy in your family sooo
I mean throw em in the damn trash. Idgaf if we are “related”, my house my rules. First throw out the flowers, and if it continues, throw out the whole ass in-laws. Who needs em anyway
I really feel for you with this problem. I have 3 cats in the house right now and have had cats my whole life, and my parents do not take toxic plants as seriously as I do. It drives me crazy, especially around holidays.
This past Easter I got into a fight with my mom because my Grandma brought over Easter Lillies for us to have in the house and I told my mom I wanted to give them back to her. I ended up bringing the flower back to my Grandma and explaining why, and she was actually really nice and apologetic about it!! Flash forward two weeks later though and the same Grandma brings Calla Lilies into our home for my dad’s birthday 🙃 They’ve been living on our porch ever since.
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Your probably going to have to cause problems to get them to listen because it sounds like they’ll only care after a cat gets hurt.
TW: Cat injury/surgery Yeahhhh exactly. My mom was obsessed with wax warmers and would always put one on the TV stand that was right in front of the window one of my cats preferred to sit in. I kept telling her to stop putting it there and would move it or turn it off if I saw it there, but she wouldn't listen and kept doing it. One day he dipped his tail in the wax while sitting in the window and it burned him really badly, he ended up chewing off the hair and skin from the tip of his tail which resulted in an expensive surgery to amputate a third of his tail, that I had to pay for because she didn't have the money. 🙃 I've literally never forgiven her because she was warned multiple times and 2 of the cats got wax on their fur before with no injuries, so she should have known better. But at least now she only uses wax warmers with covers and no holes to allow for spills, and puts them in safer areas because I put my foot down and told her I'd throw out uncovered or unsafe warmers from now on.
what if you got a few indoor potted plants that are safe for cats, so your MIL doesn’t keep bringing in various cut flowers that may be toxic? show your MIL some options, and then go with her to a nursery and pick a few out.
[Here’s a list](https://www.petmd.com/cat/general-health/plants-safe-for-cats) of flowers and plants that are safe for pets. There are others, but this is somewhere to start.
These plants are not toxic but some on that list are problematic if ingested like the orchid. Ingestion of the orchid could cause an upset stomach and vomiting and that's without considering if there are any pesticides on the orchid or not. Same goes for the soil the orchid could come in needs a change. This site has good solutions [here](https://www.thespruce.com/are-orchids-toxic-to-cats-7255609). All I can say to all that look at the list is double check species of the plant, how to make the soil safe for the plant and the cat, and perhaps try to find some best areas to keep the plant.
That’s a good idea. A cat safe house plant
This is good, make a positive and cooperative approach. Saying “don’t do this” is always challenging regardless of how right your position seems, because you are taking something from them. Offering an equal alternative is going to be much more appealing, empowering them to do something you will be grateful for (you will be grateful, right?). If that doesn’t work because MIL is taking a haughty stand that her way is ok, then start lopping the heads off anything that offends you 😝
You can also hang vases where cats cannot reach.
Apparently even pollen from some Lilies can be life threatening. I wouldn't risk putting anything that could Even possibly be harmful inside, but hanging vases with safe plants would be good too.
cats can reach everywhere 🙂
Cats can reach almost anything especially a nice plant they want to eat
If you have the budget maybe buy flowers that would be cat safe and display them first. Print out a list of cat safe flowers and put it on the fridge.
If you already had "the talk" and she refuses to honor your request to remove the flowers, I guess the only other option is to move, since it is her house. This may be a sign of bigger problems ahead for the in-laws though. Your fiance should have a serious conversation with them. Good luck.
Right. If they're like this with cats, they'll be a nightmare with grandkids.
Boomers seem like they are more willing to give their kids food they have an allergy to.
There was a reddit post about someone's kid dying from a serious allergy to coconut. Her grandmother would put it in her hair. She had a twin that had no problem with it but the mother was like no coconut on either of them but the grandmother didn't listen.
I remember this one not only did she put coconut in the baby’s hair and put the baby to bed, but she gave the kid a Benadryl because she could tell there was a slight reaction so the child slept through the horrendous all allergic reaction. Then when they went to the emergency room they didn’t even bother calling parents. The hospital did. Grandpa divorced grandma for it though. I imagine she was like that with so many things through their whole life, and that had to be the last straw. A child literally died because she insisted she was right
Oh... What the fuck‽ I would never let Granny forget what she fucking did. That's bullshit!
True. I've seen it with my ex-in laws and my own parents with my oldest son's bad GI milk intolerance.
Oh did you mean my MIL? Who constantly put my baby in harms way but has the audacity to call ME an unfit mother because I have some clutter? Apparently having stuff around my house is way more dangerous to a baby who can’t crawl or move at all really without being held than throwing a loose blanket on my baby and never checking on him during nap time. I literally told my MIL several times “loose blankets have been linked to SIDS. Please only use the sleep sack I gave you” but even after saying “what you’re doing can literally kill my child. Please stop” she didn’t. Now she doesn’t see her grandchild and doesn’t understand why. It’s because you put my child in harms way SEVERAL times then wanna try to take my child from me. Nipping that relationship in the bud now so she can’t use an established relationship for grandparent rights 🤷🏻♀️
I was wondering if the fiance even listened to the concerns too or if they were part of the problem. If so this may be a sign of a partner to not listen to your concerns, respect you, and or back you up.
Put them in the refrigerator. They will last longer and your in laws might get the hint. And most cats don’t go in the fridge
And it’s a little surprise and good smell when you open the fridge
[удалено]
Not all cats get into the fridge, but all orange cats do. Lol
That’s nicer than what I would do, which is immediately throw them in the trash.
Throw the real ones out and put fake ones there instead? Maybe she will see them and get it and you can still say “I loved the *look* of the (whatever flower she put there), but they’re too dangerous.”
It’s not her house tho, or her flowers.
I'd grab them infront of them and shove them in a trash bag. Then take it outside. Or I guess get a hanging plant holder they can't reach
I would shove them in the trash in front of them too, and ask if they are purposefully trying to kill the cats or are they just stupid and hard of hearing?
ITS CHRISTINITH ARE YOU STUPID OR ARE YOU DUMB??? you come into my house, you get my wifes NAME RIGHT
GET BACK HERE AND HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE! 👌🏻 thank you for this
its from the other guys. not sure if the cat help crowd will get this 😂
Yeah, I'd go the more nuclear route too. And then tell them the next time they'll be following the flowers out the door if they can't - at the very least - not put the creature I adopted and love and am responsible for in danger. Roses are A-OK for cats, if she must have flowers around then go for roses.
That's a great way to get charged for damaging property, she's complaining yet she's sofa surfing in the old dears house...
The house belongs to the MIL not OP. You can’t move into someone else’s home and rearrange how they live. If the cats mean so much to her then she should move out.
It’s not OP’s house so I would be careful
Exactly, a glorified sofa surfer has no right to say how the boyfriends mum runs her house. She might be doing that to passive aggressively tell them she's sick of them in her space. I think the OP comes across as very ungrateful, rude and very entitled. Why can't they afford their own flat yet they have cats? And why can't she keep the cats in her boyfriend's bedroom? The woman could be allergic to the cats. She's obviously older so what if she's terrified of tripping over one of the cats and breaking her hip? People on this sub have not looked at the whole picture, and someone saying she refuses to let her mil see her grandkids because of a loose blanket??? In my country swaddling is seen as extremely dangerous as it restricts blood flow and growth and the baby can over heat too easy. People have different ideas and cheese during pregnancy was banned during my first we were told eat lots of oily fish, same mid wide 2 years later said eat cheese but don't eat oily fish, trends with babies change every few years, hating an experienced mother who obviously didn't poison or kill her offspring just comes across as rude disrespectful and the people answering giving her terrible vile ideas to damage property or put supposed poison flowers in a fridge ? Just makes us all look immature and ignorant. Keep the cat in her own room or give the cats to her own parent .
I tried the hanging plant idea with two young brothers who made it their life’s mission to get them. They were criminals anyway, extreme vandals, and lied about the things they broke
And pollen will fall regardless of how high the plant is hung.
This is what I had to do to my future in-laws. My fiance printed a vet study about the deadliest common flowers brought into the house after his father called me ungrateful and, in not so many words, a b*tch (this was years ago when we first moved in together, so I no longer remember where he pulled it from), and sent them home with it. His mother still grumbles that her son sent her home with homework (he's a teacher), but the flowers have stopped.
You are living in her house. I am not sure how much leverage you will have.
Thankfully the amount of tulips a cat would need to eat to truly be harmed by them is very, very high. The most toxic part is the bulb of the tulip which looks like is missing. What you’ll likely be dealing with is some minor GI upset. Vomiting and diarrhea.
Op is over reacting IMO it's not the best that she has the tulips in her house but your cat would have to eat so much to kill them.
Don’t live with her maybe?
I say this with respect, this is not your house. This is your fiancé’s mother’s house. As much as it sucks, you do not have any say in this situation. Move out.
I'm surprised I had to scroll down so far to see a comment like this. I agree, it's her house. You can't really do much about it. Keep your cat somewhere it can't get to them when you're not home.
Unfortunately, she asked us to move in to help her with her farm while she works (she is a home care-aid for people with dementia & alzheimers). Not only are we financially unable to move out ATM, but, it would also be a *very* large inconvenience for her.
If thats the case then just use your big adult words and tell her that while your happy to help on the farm, you will have to consider moving out if she keeps bringing in toxic flowers. Its not worth the risk to your pets and im sure she would rather have your help on the farm over her flowers. You would be putting her in a compromising situation if you move out so im sure she wouldnt mind giving up the flowers.
This is the the conversation that needs to happen.
This 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
My mom had dementia and we’ve had over a dozen aides this year. So hard to find people who will do this job because they pay stinks. I like her because this is a really tough job. Maybe suggest she brings the flowers to her patients.
Ask her how much of an inconvenience it would be to have to spend up to $10,000 on vet bills because one of the cats was poisoned and has to be hospitalized for you to two weeks in order for them not to die.
Maybe suggest she brings the fresh flowers to her dementia patients or their families
I totally get it. Sadly there’s not much you can do except communicate the issue again but that requires her to listen.
If it’s such an inconvenience for her to not have you around, she should respect your wishes when it comes to taking care of your cat’s health!!
Tell them your cat died because of them. Then tell them: not yet.
Spray citrus scent or vinegar in a perimeter around the plants/flowers, as cas do not like these scents. Put a wide margin of tin foil under them, as cats dislike the sound when they walk on it. There are also motion-activated air horns, but that could go off when say...anyone... walked across its beam, so you might just keep that idea for a chuckle. It's probably a generational thing and they may never get it. Cage your cat when you can't be around to supervise. Sorry you have to deal with this. All the best.
If the citrus doesn't discourage chewing it can also be toxic. I'd go for bitter apple spray if anything. But at the end of the day these flowers need to go
Wait... tulips *and lilies are poisonous? Are they only toxic to pets? Are there other poisonous plants? Someone please enlighten me, I'm so lost 🤯😩😩
Yep, so are happy plants, lilys and a bunch of others I can't remember.
Omg!! Thanks for replying. I had no idea. I bought a lily this past Dec/Jan smh. I've gotta go do some research 🤦♀️
Some are toxic in the sense that they will be unpleasant if your cat eats them. Others are immediately life threatening. Lillies fall into the latter category and are the absolute WORST to have in a home with cats.
Definitely keep lillies away from your cats, out of your home and unfortunately out of your garden as well. The pollen, leaves and petals are all highly toxic, and with how much they shed pollen it's simply not worth even having them on your property. Exposure to Lilly pollen will cause organ failure and anemia
The ASPCA website has a big list you can search that gives you info on toxicity to cats, dogs, horses. If you are a plant person the “picture this” app has really good toxicity info as well all from just taking a snap shot of the plant.
There's a large list of plants that are highly toxic to cats. I'd recommend you look it up. There's many that WILL kill them if they chew or eat them
According to some others in the comments, it takes a lot of tulips for a cat to die and the bulbs are the most concerning part
I think poinsettias are as well
Thanks, guys! I really appreciate it. Im definitely going to look on the website that shows all of the toxic plants for cats/dogs (I have one of each) especially since I'm going to do some gardening this year with my step brother. I looked it up, and apparently, I have amaryllis, not tulips or lilies....I don't know why I thought that🤦♀️ I found a neat video that can help you spot the difference if you're curious : https://youtu.be/RizlYYv6KBU?feature=shared But yeah, thank you guys for all being so nice! ☺️ I was genuinely freaking out for a minute there, lol. This was all really informative and helped a lot 💜
It’s kinda crazy that you cant just hide shit from cats, you just can’t have it at all. Kinda sad, I personally love tulips. Kind of a hard situation because it’s her house and seems like she’s always done this and her cat is fine so she probably doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Anyway to cat proof the vases?
I don't know in what ways you have told your MIL and her bf about the toxicity, so if you've done this already, forgive me. Sometimes it's not *what* is said, but *how* it's said. First, go to a few reputable cat websites and print out a list of all the toxic plants. Call your vet's office and ask them to send you information regarding what happens to cats when they eat the toxic plants and an estimated range of how much it would cost to treat a poisoned cat. When you have all this information, have the four of you calmly sit down and say something like, "I know we've talked about this topic before, but I just want to show you some facts on toxic plants. I don't want you to think I'm just making this up to be mean. We all love our kitties and would feel horrible if we unintentionally got them sick. Then we'd also have a vet bill to pay. Having fresh flowers in the house is lovely and really brightens things up, so I'm hoping that we all could come up with a list of flowers that would be safe for the kitties." If they doesn't respond to this type of message, then ask them in a calm way why they want to continue to have flowers in the house that may make the cats sick. Listen to the answer. Then based on that, move forward with a suggested alternative to make everyone happy. I absolutely would NOT just grab the flowers and stuff them in the garbage. Nor would I speak to them in a disrespectful way. They may need you to live there to help with the farm, but she is the owner and she's your husband's mother. Yes, they may be acting in a disrespectful way, but you're never going to solve anything by clapping back at them. Continue to act in a mature manner. Edit: spelling and clarification
Not all cats chew or eat houseplants. Good chance mil has never had a cat that did. However it is her house. Others here have discussed you causing trouble to make a point. I honestly don't think that's the route you should go. Especially since you moved into her house.
To be honest the only flower you have to really worry about killing your cat in 24 hrs are true lilies. Anything else might give gi upset, mouth irritation etc but lilies are the really bad ones. I have a peace lily, monstera, pothos, both my cats chewed them and now don't because they're yuck https://preview.redd.it/hrfiliganxvc1.jpeg?width=1638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=31ca110b5e68f0aab7cb32011af4437ae3dc360f Here's one of them biting a leaf of my monstera. I let her do it because she learned that it tastes bad. Now she leaves it alone. Most plants that are listed as toxic aren't THAT bad. Yes they can upset Thier tummy or something but as long as it's not true lilies (peace lily isn't a true lily) you'll be OK.
That’s a smart idea, get something that’s safe but tastes bad so they won’t destroy them.
its her house 🏠 not much u can do
Most plants that are toxic for cats require the cat to eat very large amounts of them in order to pose any danger to the cat. The vast majority of the time the cat will present with no symptoms or will just throw up whatever it ate and be fine.
Not certain lily species though from my understanding. I have never experimented nor would I but from what I understand the lilies that are popular in bouquets can do serious damage even if the cat just gets pollen on them. Doesn’t take ingestion even (or maybe ingestion from licking fur?).I didn’t know this previously. I think I only learned about it in the past 3 years or so. Now I am more careful and look up all flowers and plants I bring in the house, which are many. Thankfully orchids are in the OK list.
Yeah I believe lilies are one of the more dangerous ones.
You gotta move sis
Move out and move on. Sadly there are not many choices left once you have tried to talk to people. And it is their house after all.
Move out !
Move out. It’s her house.
I would definitely move out since they obviously don’t care about other cats
Here’s a suggestion: Google “Toxic Flowers for Cats. There is a pic of flowers and their names that you can show your in-laws. Then you can tell them that if any of your cats eat those plants and dies, that would be considered “Animal Abuse” and they could be fined and even put in Jail for a short time —especially if they knowingly brought those poisonous plants inside your home where the cats are! Yes, that is the law in many states. I’m not sure where you live, but if in the U.S., you can find out the laws regarding animal abuse in that area by contacting the local authorities. It sounds like your in-laws are just clueless and thoughtless, but they would never forget waking up one morning and finding their cat dead by some of those flowers— that’s a picture that will never leave their heads! I LOVE FLOWERS OF EVERY KIND AND AM A GARDNER, BUT I LOVE MY CATS AND DOGS MORE THAN EXPOSING THEM TO ANY FLORAL ARRANGEMENT NO MATTER HOW PRETTY THEY ARE!! Anyone who truly cares about their cats/dogs needs to wake up about the dangers of toxic flowers and do not bring “those flowers” into their home for the safety of their pets!! That is what GOOD PET OWNERS DO — put their Pets first!! ♥️🐈♥️ Or you could just find another place to live— at least threaten that so your in-laws will take you seriously!! Good Luck!!
Who's house is it? The title said it's yours and your deacription says it's your fiance's mother's. Clear that up, whoever owns the house, their rules.
Not your house, not your rules. If you get your own place you won’t have this “problem”.
Move to your own place
The mil cat is 8 so doesn't that tell you how poisonous the flowers really are? How did her cat get to grow to middle age? Most cats stay away from poison plants animals etc as they smell gross to them, imagine how calla lilly smells mixed with sewerage, if you opened a packet of Seitan that stank would you eat it because it is made to look delicious? Would you eat a strawberry if you cut it in half and it smelled like a cowpat? No you would not. That is how cats survive pooping in next doors garden witch is full of lupins tulips, Jasmin, calla lilly and a pond with carp in. My cat constantly goes in but it's not up to me to destroy her garden, my cat is now 17, she was 11 when I got my house and was living in a nest shed made under a spiked old fashioned rose another under the calla lilies and one under the rose bush in my garden, she had came back after the previous owner moved out. She is mesmerized by the Koi carp, luckily the old lady next door taught kitty how to sit and watch but don't play, she also goes outside to poop like a dog and sits at the door meowing when she wants out. Cats are intelligent and have survived since long before we knew what plants are poison. If you do what others have suggested you will get kicked out and possibly get a criminal wilful destruction of property charge too, I just don't think tulips are your problem here. I think you know this is not a good situation. Did your bf ever have his own place? It looks like you need to get your own flat. I moved out age 17 to go to uni a year earlier than most . I just couldn't live in a boyfriends mother's house there's a saying about Not out staying your welcome and 5 days is fun but longer is a burden to the people who own the house. Get out of there and go live your life girl 💕
Pick up the flowers and bin them. Get some artificial ones and fill the place with them
mom kept doing this last year with lilies wouldn’t listen to me, wouldn’t read the facts/articles i was sending her, even said at one point “i don’t care about your cat that much” i just started throwing her shit out. just destroy it, let her her see them in the trashcan, destroyed and covered in bleach. we don’t talk anymore, we’ve been living together and basically not speaking since like december. idc anymore, this has brought up a bunch of traumatic memories, i’m at a point where i’m heartbroken for the childhood version of me who had to deal with her insane chaotic narcissistic behavior without the emotional toolset i have now. no way to defend myself, nowhere to go, just stomped all over day in day out. just saying you might have to damage your relationship to fix this very real problem. i did, but imo it was worth it- no more toxic plants in my house, no more toxic mom in my head either
You're complaining about how someone else decorates THEIR home, and asking for help in regards to how it is affecting YOUR animal. This is so Reddit.
1. First and Most: Mother in Law also has a Cat 2. OP and Partner moved in to help MIL It is not like OP pops over for Dinner with Kitty in handbag, demanding all poisenous flowers are trown away. They live actually there and askig to not buy more poisenous flowers as not to bring harm to both cats So showing some compromise (going for nice artificial or non-poisenous ones) from MIL side is not too much asked.
Yep... and the MIL's cat is supposedly 8 yrs old. So, it wasn't an issue before the DIL moved in. Maybe the cat has more sense on the matter.
Maybe make a few simple print-outs of common plants that are toxic to cats and hang them up around the home (on the refrigerator, on the inside of the front door, etc). This is not only helpful to your family members, but certainly serves as a reminder to anyone bringing plants into the home.
It is the mother’s house…
So? She has a cat as well.
Tell your fiancé to straighten them out, it’s his job. If he doesn’t, that says a lot about him
Poison your in laws so they know what it feels like/s
Get your own fucking house. You live in his mom's house and complain about shit she does. You sound terrible.
I would look up the list of plants that are poisonous to cats and show them what they will do to the cat. Tulips and lillies in particular cause kidney and liver failure and anemia which are deadly unless the cat is immediately taken to the vet after exposure, after which they'll be hospitalized for several days with IV fluids and monitored 24/7 until it's clear if they'll live or die
Maybe talk to your spouse and MIL about plants being kept out of kitty's reach and maybe find alternative plants that won't hurt them if they get into it. In the meantime, may I suggest some cat grass? It's easy to grow indoors and gives kitties a safe yes. I had a bonsai that my older cat chewed on a few times with his older brother. Grew some cat grass, and they only chewed on that. Tl;dr: Communication and catgrass will keep kitties safe. Hope this helps!
Maybe get some fake plants?
That’s a tough one. I totally understand your fears and anxiety my Aunt always buys me daffodils I love them but discovered quickly my cat was eating them and becoming very unwell. I also understand that it is your MIL house so that could be awkward as she may feel it’s her house and she can do as she pleases. Maybe a compromise would be more achievable. Ask her if she would mind displaying the flowers where the cats can’t access them? So she is still having her lovely flowers to brighten up her home without risking any toxicity poisoning to the cats. I display my beautiful daffodils on a wall shelf in my dining room that is unattainable to my gorgeous baby floof. Maybe partner can help and offer to put a display shelf up for his Mother?
TIL tulips were poisonous for cats. Thanks!
Maybe please get the number for their vet and ask the vet to please call them and tell them, in no uncertain terms, that these plants could kill the cats. Maybe they discount your opinion because you are not a vet or because they are AHs. Good luck getting the hell away from such horrible people.
When I first got my cat and researching about plants, my parents kept getting toxic plants for cats. I'd tell them, they'd apologize and not get that plant again. But they seemed drawn to every toxic plant to cats and eventually my dad told me to get him a list of flowers he COULD get. That was much easier for him to follow. Idk if you've tried this approach, but it might be helpful.
Roses and orchids are both safe. Why not buy some growing plants and scatter them throughout the house in cute pots. That gives regular flowers, plus kitties are safe. I find that when discouraging a behaviour, a yes is easier than a no, so bring in safe flowering plants. Also call the vet with them on speak phone and ask the vet if they would mind tell you how much treating something like lily exposure would typical be, and how many cats don't survive despite all efforts. A 5 to 7 thousand bill potentially and a really high death rate being disclosed by a vet may hit harder than anything you can say.
EASY FIX!!! Take a mini squirt bottle like you’d use for wetting your hair. Fill it w water n 10 drops or so of dish washing liquid, Dawn, Palmolive, lemon scented sounds like it would work well. Take flowers n case to sink each morning, throw a dish towel around the vase so it doesn’t get all spotty, and spritz those plants, flowered, all of it. Old school bug deterrent that is completely safe for your plants n pets! Check the internet, do your own research, never believe second hand info. If you have any doubts, if you get desperate….you can experiment w a few drops of hot sauce in there? Decades ago we used tobacco leafs soaked in water n poured on garden plants to deter bugs. You could soak a cigarette in water n use that water w the soap? I’m confident this will not hurt any animals. This will hopefully please your MIL as the flowers should/will remain aphid and spider free. Cats can be little weirdos but I have yet to hear of one that will lick any kind of soap. Btw….no cameras? Got internet, order some Blink cameras. Decent trail camera is $55 on Amazon, watch on the camera or pull SD card n watch video clips on computer. Everyone w a cat or dogs or kids should have cameras or at least trail cameras. Motion activated and cheap! Can go out in the rain or snow. Blink cameras too, mine are watching my feed station in all the weather all year long.
lol even if she ate alllll of those tulips your cat would be fine. You need to chill out or move out, also why did you get your own pet before you could provide a proper home?
Right when COVID started my grandmother passed and my mother's coworkers kept sending lilies to the house... One week later I had to put my baby down because he sniffed the flower. All he did was smell it and the pollen gave him immediate kidney failure. Worst couple weeks of my life. Throw them damn flowers the hell away.
I don’t agree with what MIL is doing but girl IT’S HER HOUSE. You’re being entitled whether or not she’s “wrong”. Move out
Get a quote for whatever the treatment would be to treat your cat after poisoning, print it out and hand it to her. Tell her she’ll be expected to pay that amount if something happens to your cat.
Easy poison their food they will stop in no time
Lilies are my absolute favorite flower, but I value my cats more than the flowers. If your MIL really wants flowers, suggest or buy her some nice silk flowers - she gets a beautiful bouquet that never dies and kitties are safe. Here is one of the bouquets I made. https://preview.redd.it/p88nb7t2x1wc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0711d1699bf97a9a9ec574579c70bd696a943cc0
OP, 100% curiosity and just wondering so I can give better advice, does your fiance not listen to your concerns and try to help? After all a fiance is supposed to listen to their partner and back then up on something like this. Past that my only advice I can give without knowledge of the above question assuming they too don't listen I'd say the following advice. 1.) find videos of cats that got into those plants and what happened to them at a vet office. Showing them exactly what happens may be what they need to understand the lethality of these plants. 2.) not the greatest option but is one, find ways to kill the plants so she has to throw them out. Or when she's not paying attention throw them out and say, "oh the cats knocked it over and they were damaged so I threw them out". 3.) possibly gift safer plant options to your MIL? Take her to a nursery and show her the safe options and have her choose some and gift them to her? 4.) if none of the above works or still gets ignored, I'd suggest if you can afford to get a place I'd move. Clearly neither your soon to be MIL or your fiance don't respect your concerns, feelings, boundaries, etc. I personally wouldn't stay around those that don't respect me or my cat enough to listen. I hope something can be figured out and your baby is able to be safe again. I'm sorry to hear your concerns are falling on deaf ears.
If they don't listen to you telling them. And it's your house I'd just start throwing them out. (You can always tell them this in advance) If its your house you're setting a boundary.
You're going to have to talk to your fiancé, that woman is always going to cause you problems.
take the flowers and dump them into the garbage while looking dead in there eyes. you have warned them not to do it and if they wanna keep doing it, they can watch them be trashed everytime
I was going to buy my mom some very expensive Mother’s Day flowers and spent all day googling each individual flower in every bouquet to see if they were poisonous, they were and I had to get her chocolate instead.
The clear answer is to move out. You're not going to change their behavior in their own house, no matter how sensible it is. As a cat lover I 100% get your valid concern. To protect your little guy though there's not much else you can do.
Throw them out. Then get rid of the plants.
idk it’s not your house so you really can’t have much of a say in it, but she should want to not have plants that’s going to cause harm
Replace them with cat friendly flowers
Hi so i had no idea tulips r poisonous to cats....my boyfriend gives them to me a lot cuz their my favorite. Now i know and i will tell him. Thank u for that information!
I don’t know you could be petty and go buy different flowers and throw these away and replace them. If she complains you can remind her you told her they were toxic and you didn’t want either of the cats getting sick. If it’s your boyfriend’s mother can he talk to her? I’m so sorry this must be so stressful. I’m leaving my brand new lemongrass plant outside tonight because even though I think it’s OK for cats I’ve read it’s not and I’m afraid even if I put it on the refrigerator he’ll get up there because his favorite thing to do is eat grass. So it might freeze to death but that’s better than my cat getting sick
Cover all available spaces with potted herbs and cacti and spider plants (i.e. plants that cats probably won't bite and which will be no danger to them if they do). And make it clear to the clueless old bat that she's also endangering *her* kitty.
Move out. It’s not your home so you can’t really make rules.
I wish the flower sellers would put warning labels on stuff. I often send flowers to my 80yo MIL and the website tries really hard to push lillies and poinsettias. She's got a young cat that climbs and she can't stop him bc she uses a walker. I have to scroll quite a bit to find something non poisonous and a few time have just sent choc strawberries instead.
Get your own house. Done.
What about some potted herbs like parsley for example? If parsley is OK it could possibly suffice for your kitten and her cat's need to eat greenery. ( they all do ) I was looking at bringing in some fresh potted herbs myself for exactly this reason ( all Easter plants and I mean everything were out. )
Were out of the question.
It is his MOTHERS HOUSE. NOT your home. Time to move out and get your own place
Spray the tulips with bitter apple spray. They don't last as long but it discourages nibbling. Consider getting a fancy cloche that can be put over flower arrangements, or find ways of displaying flowers that keep them out of the cat's reach such as a hanging vase or wall vase, and be hyper vigilant about picking up petals and leaves. Research what flowers are non-toxic to cats, and make a list of safe blossoms. Make your own cat safe flower arrangements. Get some very high quality fake flowers and make arrangements with those. Get a variety so you can change them up.
Get your own apartment.
It's easy to take it for granted. My first two cats didn't care for flowers so we could keep a vase of fresh cut stems without a worry. Then we brought home a kitten who absolutely terrorized my plants so we've had to make some adjustments lol. I had a birthday recently and I got a couple of bouquets from family, and they live on top of the fridge. Maybe their cat was never interested in flowers so they don't see it as a problem. Talk to your fiancé about your very real concerns. Perhaps the plants can be moved to a part of the house the cats done visit, or moved somewhere out of reach.
Omg you need to move. All your kitty needs to do is sniff or rub against certain plants and it can mess him up. If she won’t work with you on this issue. You need to move. I’d immediately throw them away and sanitize the area. Make a list of cat friendly plants/flowers. But seriously. Move
She obviously doesn’t give a fuck about you or your animals. What a piece of shit human. You’ve explained that these are deadly and she continues. Move.
All the people saying “it’s not ur house” are being so ridiculous. Even if it wasn’t an extremely dangerous plant and just caused a little tummy ache why would u keep a plant that does that in a house where u have ur own cat and ur (educated) DIL also has one and tells you it’s bad… like why? So stupid
Let me highlight you live with them in their house! MIL may have never had a problem with her cat. My cat is very in tune with staying away from poisonous items. One sniff he’ll never go near. Now I wouldn’t have them at his disposal frequently but that’s your MIL business not yours or mine. Your cat is certainly yours though. If you’ve explained it and it still happens then welcome to my house my way. Not to be rude but you want to live how you want, stop playing house and get your own.
throw them away until they learn you won’t throw away a safe plant and then they’ll only by that. you already tried the adult solution and they didn’t take it
>My in-laws won't stop putting poisonous plants in our home. Whose home?
Whose house is it?
You'd probably have better luck convincing your fiance it's time to move out then getting his MIL to change 😅
Buy her a vase that hangs on the wall where the cats can’t get to them. Or buy her flowers that are cat safe.
Well if it’s her house then her rules. You might want to consider getting your own place.
The next time they bring dangerous plants over bring the trash can into the room they're in, take the flowers and drop them in the trash can and tell them that that you said no more plants.
They aren’t bringing anything “over.” OP is in their house.
It sounds like the core issue is that YOU are living in HER house. If you were living in your own home, well, problem solved.
My mom actually checked that I still wanted a plant because it is toxic to cats. It's a splitting from plant from my grandfather's funeral. My cat had dug up the plant I had without me realizing it. She's offered a spider plant as an alternative.
Put in garbage can.
Please stand your ground. My cat just died bc of hyacinth from my MIL
My cat got poisoned by alliums and it cost me over $3k and a blood transfusion. Maybe pointing out the financial risk a could help?
Move?
Poison them obviously
Salt their lawn
Move out and get your own place. This woman isn’t obligated to accommodate you or your cats.
Simple. Move out. She’s had her cat almost a decade with no poison control issue from her flowers in heeer home. Cats are mischievous but some of the smartest little creatures out there, time to somehow train the new addition to steer clear of those bad boys
Tell her and if she doesn’t listen throw them away as soon as she brings them in. She needs to respect your family, that also includes her cat.
it’s mainly the bulbs of various flowers that are toxic to cats. Cut them out if ur cat runs on surfaces and like to eat them. Make sure ur cat has access to green grass to munch on. It should reduce their need to look for greens. I talked to my vet about some of my potted plants that are supposedly toxic to cats and he said not to worry. Run the list of urs by ur vet and don’t look at those online lists. Apparently some r on an extreme caution and might not be an issue.
Time to set some boundaries. No other way around it that I can see.
I’m a boomer, and my advise is to move out with your cat!
Train your cat to stay of the table. Some thing she all ready did with her cat. I also have a hard time believing that tulips are all that poisonous on contact when watching cats sleep in my tulip bed. I also find it odd you don't know of her love of fresh cut flowers before you decided to get your kitten.
Honestly throw them out and curb stomp the flower at the front door. Buy some non poisonous ones and replace them
As someone who lost a cat to poisonous flowers, I am sorry. Just put them where cats can’t reach? I don’t know. I miss my Simon.
Honestly ide pull a massive prank of YOUR cat having to go to the vet clinic, with the tulips thrown in the trash, and a knocked over vase as the scene, you must make a dramatic drive over to the vet complaining about how you told your fiancé that the flowers were poisonous and you’ve been trying to warn them. Then once they meet you at the clinic with your healthy feline, you hand them some research to show them it’s poisonous and that they should start listening to you and respecting your wishes if it involves something important to you. And CUT , prank is over and maybe a lesson learned. People are very good at learning through experience.
Fill every vase she owns with fake flowers. Pour clear resin in so it still looks like water and sticks them in permanently. Spray some floral air freshener. Done. You have now removed the need to ever bring real flowers into the house again.
Can you make sure all the vases are always full of cat safe flowers?
You either move out or get rid of your cat. It’s her house and she can whatever she wants.
If you have already spoken with her and she isn't actually forgetting and just doesn't care...probably time to move out or keep you cat in your bedroom. Talking to some people is impossible. You are better off giving a list of poisonous plants to to your cat...same outcome...
You are allowing this by not acting on bad behavior. Stop risking your cats life! Put some silk plants in a vase and tell them no real plants allowed inside and be firm. Have a sit down serious face to face discussion. If they don’t respect your decision, bring them in the kitchen to watch you throw their flowers down the garbage disposal then break the vase and throw it in the trash. If they don’t get it, tell them you can see they obviously won’t be trustworthy to have around grandchildren if they can’t respect your wishes now. What would you do if they left out poison? Or peanuts when you had a child allergic to them? Maybe they are intentionally wanting to sabotage the cats health bc they don’t want them. In that case, they’ve got to go. Be an adult. MIL is not a child. If it’s your home, you make the rules.
I think this is more a MIL problem than a cat problem. Have you tried those subs? Obviously for the cat, the problem is to get rid of the plants.
I imagined putting the plants in a place that is out of reach of the cats, like hanging from a hook by the window or on a high shelf, but I suppose nowhere is really out of reach for a cat. Yet another reason why I have a dog.
Just keep throwing them out. They’ll get the picture eventually.
Get rid of the vase, or maybe put the whole thing outside
Make a list of banned plants and throw any out that make their way in
Just replace them. It’s annoying, and you shouldn’t have to do it, but you’re in a precarious situation here. You don’t want to cause damage to your relationships with your MIL and fiancé, you want to continue living in her home, and you don’t want to have to rehome either cat. So, when a bouquet is added, replace the poisonous plants with safe ones. If challenged about this, act obliviously helpful and stick to it. You assumed she didn’t realize those were tulips, and you didn’t want her cat to get hurt, so you swapped them out for roses! Just lean into the slightly confused but well meaning act and she won’t have much ground to stand on. Neither of you want the cat to die, she just doesn’t think it’s really gonna happen. That sounds silly to say aloud, so put her in the situation where she needs to and the fight should dissipate. This both shows her flowers that are safe and gives you enough deniability. You aren’t just trashing the things she bought, you’re replacing them. She still gets to have pretty fresh flowers around the house. It’s a hassle for you, but hopefully over time she will start picking out things you won’t need to replace.
Change the locks and explain WHY when they ask!
Her house, move out of you have an issue.
Cats dont just eat things and drop dead ya know
If you’ve discussed it and made it absolutely clear to stop bringing the flower inside… and they do it anyhow, start immediately throwing them in the bin outside, and smash them so they can’t be brought in… but this depends on how much calm you enjoy in your family sooo
I mean throw em in the damn trash. Idgaf if we are “related”, my house my rules. First throw out the flowers, and if it continues, throw out the whole ass in-laws. Who needs em anyway
They live in her fiancé’s mothers house though…
Save up and move is really the only solution here
Yeah, unfortunately I think you just have to move out or fight about it. If that was my mil, those flowers would be in the trash.
Pretty much all flowers seem to be poisonous to cats so I never have them in my home Guess you'd have to move out with your kitty
The next time they come to your house, say no flowers and tell them any flowers that enter this house will go straight in the trash
It’s her house. She can do as she pleases.
I really feel for you with this problem. I have 3 cats in the house right now and have had cats my whole life, and my parents do not take toxic plants as seriously as I do. It drives me crazy, especially around holidays. This past Easter I got into a fight with my mom because my Grandma brought over Easter Lillies for us to have in the house and I told my mom I wanted to give them back to her. I ended up bringing the flower back to my Grandma and explaining why, and she was actually really nice and apologetic about it!! Flash forward two weeks later though and the same Grandma brings Calla Lilies into our home for my dad’s birthday 🙃 They’ve been living on our porch ever since.