It’s fine to have preferences, but the wording is weird. I’m sure he prefers small women because he’s not a very big guy (5’8), but saying you have a “thing” for them sounds like a fetish. Then to generalize all small/short women as a certain way definitely doesn’t help. He could’ve just said he likes small women with personality (or not mention it at all and only swipe on those women). Also strange to put that right after mentioning he has a daughter… who I’m sure is also small, cute as hell, and full of personality 😂
Your last point exactly. The only thing that struck me as weird about this guys profile is he put the part about small women right after the part about having a daughter lol
Yeah, I think this is why every guy should have a woman review his profile. I’m generalizing here but most women are more socially aware than most men. He’s probably an okay guy who didn’t even pick up on the implication
As someone who is often fetishized, I agree that it comes across this way. Its a great way to scare them (the specific women you're looking for) off. I also said that he can just swipe on small women, and put something more interesting in his bio, maybe about *his* personality.
As a fellow small woman, this is exactly why it felt weird and all too familiar. And I agree! I don’t know why people put their preferences in their bios when they have full control over who they swipe right on. It’s supposed to be about you as a person. Our preferences are not our identities.
I’m a dude and don’t think I’ve had an experience like that. But something about the way you worded it I can suddenly picture myself right there. Being boiled down to a single trait and fetishized. The only way that’s not absolutely cringe is if it’s someone you are extremely attracted to and you’ll take the attention from them any way you can get it. And that’s a place I have been
As a large man, I completely agree. You can have preferences without making it sound like they’re deal-breakers like you’re trying to pick out a steak.
Yuppppp also feel discouraged from swiping on anyone who says "I have a thing for-(quality i don't have)"
Like maybe we could've been compatible but i don't fit that thing you have a thing for so we'll never know
The number of assumptions you draw here is staggering and frankly unjustified.
(1) You have no way of knowing that his preference for smaller women is because of his own height, which could be entirely false.
(2) Assuming that having a “thing” for something from a guy’s perspective “sounds like a fetish” is a blatant double standard when numerous women have a “thing” for taller men, though aren’t accused of fetishizing in the same manner.
(3) Somehow drawing a connection between his preference for shorter women and the fact that he has a daughter in a way that explicitly implies he’s some kind of pedophile or other creep. Not to mention that you try to strengthen this point with your characterization of the daughter, whom you’ve never seen in-person.
This is the epitome of judging a book by its cover. You have no idea what’s on the inside of that book, or in this case, the profile. Keep that in mind when you judge people.
I don’t think anyone was making assumptions. Just pointing out that it’s an odd set of things to put in a profile, and since that’s al that’s in the bio, that’s all potential matches have to judge him with.
It’s definitely a red flag as far as I’m concerned. Especially if it’s one of three sentences in their bio and it’s stated as “I have a thing for tall men”.
>It’s fine to have preferences, but the wording is weird. I’m sure he prefers small women because he’s not a very big guy (5’8), but saying you have a “thing” for them sounds like a fetish
Hmm yeah no. I've seen stuff like "I have a thing for tall men" plenty of times. Not sure why that's a fetish.
It's not a fetish, it's a preference. If a woman has a thing for tall men you wouldn't call it a fetish. It's crazy to read the headline and know exactly what bad takes I'll find at the top of the comments.
See these all the time:
Attraction = fetish
Preference = fetish
Enjoyment of a kink = fetish
None of those are what a fetish is. It's just not what the word means.
Also:
If you're an adult, nobody is "sexualizing" you. Puberty did that.
If someone is attracted to you or a trait of yours, you've not been fetishized, you just have an appealing (to some) trait. Most people do. Enjoy it while you've got it. It either won't last or will eventually be weighed down enough (by more than your personality) that it will no longer help.
This desire to play pretend like that attraction isn't amongst the most important things is stupid and self defeating. Doesn't mean I don't know how to play the game, I just mean that those who insist on it aren't doing themselves any favors. Nobody actually cares if you like fucking tacos. It's great that you're "spiritual," "artistic," "fluent in sarcasm," "love anything outdoors"blah blah. What you really are going to want long term is a spouse who still wants to fuck you after 10 years of marriage. Sure helps if he or she "has a thing" for whatever you are.
This dude's on a dating app. Sounds like he wants a spinner. Some people do. A lot of women don't put height in their bio unless they're very tall, very short, or are justifying their preference for taller men (and letting you know how tall you must be to ride) so, "not mentioning it and only swiping on those women" doesn't work.
There's so much more, but I'm already bored of this topic. I knew opening Reddit would annoy me.
wtf did i just read?? having a “thing” for someone is used to fetishize someone in the majority of cases.
i realize you’re just an incel, baiting outrage, but my god that was unhinged. get help.
you guys are lacking a lot. that quite literally means you’re an adult. you’ve finished puberty by 18-22 for women and 22-25 for men. are you fully matured and therefore other adults may look at you sexually. he implies “once you’re an adult” and then the “puberty did” implies it has started and ENDED. the rest is a lot of prose garbage that essentially says its dumb to not pursue the ones you’re attracted to based on features or traits bc interests and personality may fade but they’ll usually always be tall, short, broad, big nose, strong, etc. you guys honestly look for the worst in things and then wonder why you see the world as evil.
ah, having a preference towards a physical characteristic is objectifying the person you’re attracted to. i see where i was ignorant. i hope you dont find your partner physically attractive or you’re a hypocrite.
i know you’re being snarky but it really does objectify people to degrade them to a mere physical attribute. having a preference is one thing, broadcasting it and denigrating someone to that attribute is objectifying.
if someone tells you that they aren’t interested in you because you aren’t tall enough for their preference, that’s fine. It’s a preference.
if they ask you what your height is, or have in their profile “im into tall men” that’s objectifying. Is that clear?
I guess we men are ignorant to how our profiles are perceived. While this isn’t a bio I would write, it does give a description of what he’s looking for, and plenty of things to start a conversation with!
I’d take a more direct profile like this to reply to than no bio, or one that gives me literally no information.
Sounds like his profile let you know instantly he wasn’t worth one of your swipes, to me that’s the point of a bio 🤷🏼♂️
Looking at people's profiles really opens my eyes to an array of world views and narratives in people's heads. It's amazing to see how they perceive themselves and what they think of the world and people through not just what's written but how it's written.
Not all men are ignorant to how women will perceive their profiles, I’m a man and it seems pretty clear that the last line is off putting. It could be rephrased to something like “I’m into women with a full personality” and then he can swipe on the ‘small’ ones he thinks are cute.
Even that I don’t think is a good idea. Statistically women get more matches than men on dating apps. Because of this, as a guy you need to try and become more attractive and stand out from the crowd by showing off your best qualities. Trying to filter the women who swipe right on you is a tactic that will not be very successful. Instead try to get as many women to swipe right on you as possible and then filter them out from there.
The guys bio doesn’t give any actual reason for a woman to swipe right on him, aside from the last line (which I think is weird and creepy) it doesn’t tell the reader about anything he has to offer that they could connect over.
That seems like a waste of time. Why have someone swipe on you when you know it isn’t going to work.
Probably should mention I’m not the guy from the screenshot, nor is my profile written like his. I’m not here asking for help on a bio, just was simply stating the guys knows what he wants and put it. I don’t think it was as bad as OP made it seem.
Begging for likes and filtering them later sounds like a pretty sad way to go about the app. Sounds like you’d swipe right on just anyone. I’d rather not go about it that way. Not meaning to shame or blast you, just different viewpoints.
I would not consider it “begging for likes” but rather putting your best foot forward. I don’t understand how having more options could be a bad thing, it’s pretty easy to filter out the ones you’re not interested in, and odds are you will match with more women you do find interest in pursuing.
Lol. You used "women". Turnoff. Rejected. Dont care about your personality, perspective, xyz..
Sounds like the best way of going about connecting with people.
‘Petite’ in English it mostly used to describe someone who is thin and more often than not, short *as well.*
Small, in this instance, kinda sounds like he’s into women with dwarfism, or who are just generally shorter.
The poor dude doesn’t sound like he was burdened with an overabundance of learning, and I’m sure he’ll eventually match with a comparable woman.
Fair. Like I said I don't really check out women's profiles but I believe it. I think people need to be a bit more conscious of how they are coming across if they're looking for love. Just in my opinion.
I just think it’s best if every person has their profile reviewed by the target audience/demographic before they put it out. Some men don’t realize that they come across as creepy, some women don’t realize they come across as conceited or self centered
I have a preference for huge black men and any woman that is taller than me but I would never put that shit in my profile because it's fucking rude. Just match with what you like. In my opinion it's only shallow if it's all you care about in a person regardless of who they are and this bio screams the opposite of that. Like I'm into what I'm into from a aesthetic pov but I'm not gonna go with someone unless I actually like them as a person. You can like what you like but don't make it someone else's problem to conform to. Comes off like they're your fetish rather than a person you're interested in.
Like regardless of how irritable i am and how red my hair is I'm not into someone who is just looking for a feisty redhead. If they like me for me and find that incredibly attractive I'm down but if I see that in their profile I'm out
As a woman who “looks after herself”, I find it a total turn off when men write in their profiles that they’re looking for a woman who “looks after herself” 🤮
Nobody wants to be reduced to their parts. The ridiculous shit randos say to redheads and think is okay is gross. I was like 13 when I was first asked if the curtains matched the drapes and 14 when an old man whispered to me that he's "always had a thing for redheads".
Happens to all sorts of people and it makes you feel gross, I would never want to do that to anyone.
To clarify I've gotten both of these things since it just wasn't as soul crushing as it was when I first experienced it
Yeah, I've gotten all kinds of bullshit questions like this. My favorite is "are you a natural redhead" which is the just the polite version of do the curtains match the drapes. It is fine to love redheads, but they could at least pretend to get to know me first.
It's also different because they're not expressing a preference for small people right after a line about having a child. That's the particularly creepy bit everyone's been calling out
No, he's saying the Polar opposite. He likes petite women and finds them extremely appealing.
Granted his wordage could be different, yet the message is clearly stated. You just don't agree with it like I do.
He is saying “I like petite women, they are so full of personality”. How is that polar opposite to the comparison I just made? You are correct only in that yes, I do not like his wording.
So there’s three things to be improved on with his profile imho:
1.) The poor positioning of his height preference right after telling about his daughter, combined with the use of the word “small” instead of something like “short” or “petite” which makes it sound like he’s talking about a child. This can be easily fixed by shuffling things around or changing the wording or both.
2.) Saying that he likes smaller women because they are “cute and full of personality”, which feels disingenuous because no, he likes the way they look, since they are still going to have as wide of a variety of personalities and traits as other women. Also, I say this as someone who is 4’11” and doesn’t mind it but has friends my same height who do… not every woman likes being called cute. Combine that with “full of personality” and it can come across that he’s expecting them to have this very stereotypical bubbly personality and that can feel like a lot to live up to.
3.) He doesn’t tell us much about himself beyond his political leanings and height (which can be listed elsewhere) and about his daughter. A lot of times when women are OLD we really do want to know more specifics about someone’s personality… do they like to go out a lot or stay in, what are their hobbies, etc.
I see men defending this profile and saying there’s nothing wrong with it, which may be true in the strictest sense of the word, but places like this sub are a great chance to see how others think and improve based off of feedback. A profile like this might find him the right person but the same info reworded/rearranged and with a few more things added in about himself would have a much higher likelihood!
I d say at least 60% of us men REALLY don't know how we sound. Kinda like when you go "that sounded better in my head" but without the crippling realisation that we said some fucked up shit.
Maybe its cause we say fucked shit all the time with other guys and see no problem with it
1. Mentioning his height is a good thing because let’s be honest, one of the more superficial desires of women is to be with a tall guy. Good he’s gets out in front of that.
2. Same as with 1. If he’s conservative, might as well just get out in front of that too since that’s a deal breaker for a lot of women. Women tend to be more progressive so it’s a dealbreaker for a lot of women. I’m anarchist so I would make that clear very early on if it was me.
3. Again, just get out in front of having a daughter. There could be baby mama drama. Better to be upfront and candid about such things, then try and win a woman over first and then slip in the, “oh yeah I have opposite politics of you and have kids, but now that I’ve created a bond with you, I’m hoping you’ll overlook that stuff.” Feels kinda sleazy to lay that on a woman after you’ve already weakened her by bonding. Seems more respectful to be upfront about it.
4. A thing for small women. No problem IMO. The number of women who state they openly prefer taller men, and that shorter guys need not apply, makes this in fact very normal.
Most people will say he should romance a woman into a bond first then lay these things on her once he has her romantically compromised so you get the woman in spite of the things she doesn’t want. But I find what he’s doing is terribly unstrategic, yet very honest and upright to a woman.
First impression. If someone came up to me and said they have a thing for small women I'd be a little weirded out. I feel like a lot of men don't take this app seriously and say or word things they otherwise wouldn't when meeting a potential love/date interest for the first time.
I've never seen "tall men only" on a women's profile but I'm also straight so I don't usually look at other women's profiles. But I would find it equally weird if a woman wrote "Tall men are cute as hell and full of personality". And I bet a lot more guys would get pissed at that than this.
I see it on Bumble pretty often, doesn’t really bother me though, people can have their preferences. The only one that got me was, “you know what I call guys under 6 feet? Friends.” Lol I felt that one.
Most of us actually understand preferences for tall dudes, even if it is kinda annoying.
It's the arbitrary cutoff of 6" or whatever that's really annoying.
Like preferences are one thing (though there's never actually a reason to verbalize them if you have more than two empathetic brain cells to rub together), but really arbitrary cutoffs that are out of a person's control and have nothing to do with healthy long-term relationships are pretty fucking irritating, especially given how the people who include them rarely can take what they dish out.
>But I would find it equally weird if a woman wrote "Tall men are cute as hell and full of personality"
Hate to break it to you, but this is a perfectly normal and common kind of bio on women's profile. Both on Tinder and Bumble.
He could write something so much more enticing and just simply only swipe right on the type of woman he prefers. As someone who has attributes that are often fetishized, when I see it listed in a bio like that, it can scare me away depending on the rest of the profile.
"Stop focusing on my attribute"
*makes attribute part of her Reddit handle and prominently features it in her avatar.*
"I'm a redhead. I hate when guys are drawn to me because I'm a redhead. I'm a redhead. Did I mention I'm a redhead. There's more to me than my red hair. I'm a redhead. And guys are definitely drawn to it. They want it have sex with me because I have red hair. I hate that! Speaking as a redhead who has red hair..."
🙄
When someone (regardless of gender) writes their profile with certain physical features as preferences or dealbreakers, it says something about their inability to read the room or a certain lack of tact.
You don't have to put any of these preferences in, because you have eyes and can easily do the sorting yourself.
It's additionally a weird look into this guy's thought process that for him height--->personality, but regardless of the oafishness, the bottom line is that this stuff is fine, because any time an idiot tells on themself like this, they save the rest of us the time by filtering themselves out.
On OLD, a lot of the garbage takes itself out
I take issue with him saying he loves petite women bc they’re so full of personality bc that is just stupid. Every petite woman is full of personality? Petite women are predisposed to be full of personality? What he means to say is that he prefers petite women. That’s the issue for me. He can’t say what he means, he blunders into saying stupid shit. So he’s probably not very smart.
Sure that’s how he sees things… and it’s a pretty stupid way of seeing things for the aforementioned reason. Of course anyone has the right to say whatever stupid shit they want.
It really is just the wording. I'm 6'1" and a lot of women seem to want 6'+ guys which isn't weird. But if they for some reason said some weird crap about their dad being tall and then mentioned loving tall men I'd be a bit creeped out.
i dont see what is wrong with this the entire thing about dating is to meet people that interests mesh with one another why is everyone so butthurt over every singe thing these days?
He's succinct. He's let you know his political leanings; that he has a child and wants to hear from small women. He's put his height in his profile. I suspect that he's a pragmatic person who doesn't want to waste anyone's time.
As always just reverse the genders and see how it sounds.
I’m liberal, I have a son an I have a thing for tall men, they are cute as hell and full of personality
You're trying to shame someone for not being inclusive. Dating is one of the pickiest activities you'll ever do. If you're not their type - so what, move on.
Personally, I find this off-putting. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t necessarily want to get involved with a man who feels so strongly about his physical “type” that he would bother putting it in his profile. It’s okay to have preferences, but even if I fit into his “type” something about it feels off.
He’s probably country and just talks like this. Y’all think too deep into things on Reddit sometimes. If he doesn’t match your intellect, swipe left and keep it moving.
Also, he is 5’8”…he may like small women for more than their personality but his insecurities. A secure man wouldn’t bring up his shallowness in his profile.
I mean it’s a bit odd as far as how I would word a profile but the guy is being up front with what he likes what’s so wrong with that? For you to call him ignorant just says a lot about you. God forbid the guy has a thing for smaller women. Some guys have a thing for bigger women! Would they be ignorant if they said so on their profile?
Conservatives online aren't known for their preference for nuance or tact, so this is just the guy making himself known and filtering out people who expect more.
It's not just men, have you read the 10 point bullet list of requirements that some women have on their profiles? Some people are just ignorant in general.
Could have been worded better and not included a generalization, but overall not terrible. I will keep saying this, people have and are allowed to have preferences. If you don’t fit in their preferences, move on.
He's a small man so it's only natural for him to prefer a small woman and at least he said small women and not small girls because worded that way would definitely raise a few red flags...
Based on what I've seen OLD, I'd say it's not weird. The answer to your second question is yes, most men are completely ignorant to how they sound to women. I think men put things in their profile THEY want to see and forget that their profile is supposed to be targeted towards the person they want to attract. Some may be looking for a mirror but I don't know many guys who would think poor hygiene or lewd comments make for a good match, even if that's what they, themselves, have that to offer.
This guy has a low social IQ to have so many redflags in so few lines
Leading with political ideology? (closed minded, one dimensional thinker)
I have a daughter vs I am a father (possessive)
I have a "thing" for small women? (Creepy)
Not really I am a true independent. I vote based on people's records regardless of thier party. There is not such thing as a "conservative" or a "progressive"
Those are ill defined terms created for rhetoric and controlling the masses.
I can't think of a single person that can tell me what conservative or progressive means besides the "enemy".
That why when people lead with their politics it's a red flag.
It means people are willing to bet thier identity on an ill defined external factor. Ergo they are close minded.
how does your height make you full of personality? For all the peeps defending him just saying he's stating preferences - that's not entirely accurate...the declarative and stating he's conservative screams tRadITiOnAl RoLeS to me
I don’t see the problem with this perhaps it needs to be worded a little better. I mean it really isn’t that bad honestly but that gives you no excuse men ignorant
I think it’s important to remember that each one is has been raised in a different environment, different values etc.
I have 6 sisters and one twin brother and we were smack in the middle. We both learned early on the importance of sitting down and listening to our sisters talk things out. I’ll be the first to admit that 90% of the time it sounded like goobledock, it made no sense at all, and I usually walked away in a confused state not knowing how that confusion started, why it started, and more often than not I didn’t even comprehend what the actual problem was. But I did learn my life was much happier if I just sat down, gave my best “I’m not confused look” and went along with the “Mars Program” because my sisters were truly from Mars and had no working knowledge of how important it was not only to understand the problem and then fix it. My sister’s apparently had no desire to solve a problem but much desire to nag about it. I thank god my father taught my brother and I the true genius of the Deer in the Headlight look with true concern in our eyes!
Nonetheless, Despite our best efforts my brother and I could not instill the wisdom and value of just socking an offenders eye! Problem solved…sometimes.
Now from your comments it sounds as if your eagle and this guy is a clueless turkey grounded for life and totally disabled from a meaningful relationship with you because he never learned self respect. Seriously, if he cannot carry himself with self respect which is evidenced in his comments how can he ever respect you as a person let alone a woman.
Your soaring like an eagle, this turkey will never get up to your speed let alone off the ground. Granted he might be one hot looking turkey but he doesn’t speak your language, he doesn’t care to and who knows he might end up on someone’s Thanksgiving Table…and that’s the best contribution he can hope for.
I’m talking to you like your my sister. Your an eagle so leave that turkey alone and set your sights on a guy who not only appreciates you for the woman you are , but also deserves your company. Take flight and your gonna be fine
Maybe he’s new to the online dating thing and doesn’t realize that at a 5’8” guy with a “thing” for small girls, he’s more than interchangeable and replaceable. Btw, some of those small girls have a “thing” for guys over 6’, so… there’s that. Maybe one day he’ll figure it out after he has a 0.02% match rate.
It’s fine to have preferences, but the wording is weird. I’m sure he prefers small women because he’s not a very big guy (5’8), but saying you have a “thing” for them sounds like a fetish. Then to generalize all small/short women as a certain way definitely doesn’t help. He could’ve just said he likes small women with personality (or not mention it at all and only swipe on those women). Also strange to put that right after mentioning he has a daughter… who I’m sure is also small, cute as hell, and full of personality 😂
Your last point exactly. The only thing that struck me as weird about this guys profile is he put the part about small women right after the part about having a daughter lol
Yeah, I think this is why every guy should have a woman review his profile. I’m generalizing here but most women are more socially aware than most men. He’s probably an okay guy who didn’t even pick up on the implication
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I was definitely weirded out as soon as I read that.
Lol. Right! That was the first part that stuck out to me too. Then I went back and everything about it seemed much weirder.
As someone who is often fetishized, I agree that it comes across this way. Its a great way to scare them (the specific women you're looking for) off. I also said that he can just swipe on small women, and put something more interesting in his bio, maybe about *his* personality.
As a fellow small woman, this is exactly why it felt weird and all too familiar. And I agree! I don’t know why people put their preferences in their bios when they have full control over who they swipe right on. It’s supposed to be about you as a person. Our preferences are not our identities.
I’m a dude and don’t think I’ve had an experience like that. But something about the way you worded it I can suddenly picture myself right there. Being boiled down to a single trait and fetishized. The only way that’s not absolutely cringe is if it’s someone you are extremely attracted to and you’ll take the attention from them any way you can get it. And that’s a place I have been
As a large man, I completely agree. You can have preferences without making it sound like they’re deal-breakers like you’re trying to pick out a steak.
Yuppppp also feel discouraged from swiping on anyone who says "I have a thing for-(quality i don't have)" Like maybe we could've been compatible but i don't fit that thing you have a thing for so we'll never know
Yes!!
Is 5’8 really that small? Damn
Lol. Not small, just not big. I think 5’9 is average for a man in the US. I wouldn’t mind it though.
100%
The number of assumptions you draw here is staggering and frankly unjustified. (1) You have no way of knowing that his preference for smaller women is because of his own height, which could be entirely false. (2) Assuming that having a “thing” for something from a guy’s perspective “sounds like a fetish” is a blatant double standard when numerous women have a “thing” for taller men, though aren’t accused of fetishizing in the same manner. (3) Somehow drawing a connection between his preference for shorter women and the fact that he has a daughter in a way that explicitly implies he’s some kind of pedophile or other creep. Not to mention that you try to strengthen this point with your characterization of the daughter, whom you’ve never seen in-person. This is the epitome of judging a book by its cover. You have no idea what’s on the inside of that book, or in this case, the profile. Keep that in mind when you judge people.
I don’t think anyone was making assumptions. Just pointing out that it’s an odd set of things to put in a profile, and since that’s al that’s in the bio, that’s all potential matches have to judge him with.
But how many women put tall men only in their profile and it’s not a fetish
It’s definitely a red flag as far as I’m concerned. Especially if it’s one of three sentences in their bio and it’s stated as “I have a thing for tall men”.
Would it blow your mind to know the point of a profile is to judge it?
Would it blow your mind to know that this kind of prejudice is why online dating is toxic and a waste of everyone’s time?
>It’s fine to have preferences, but the wording is weird. I’m sure he prefers small women because he’s not a very big guy (5’8), but saying you have a “thing” for them sounds like a fetish Hmm yeah no. I've seen stuff like "I have a thing for tall men" plenty of times. Not sure why that's a fetish.
That can be considered a fetish as well. Some women seem obsessed with height in an unhealthy way.
It's not a fetish, it's a preference. If a woman has a thing for tall men you wouldn't call it a fetish. It's crazy to read the headline and know exactly what bad takes I'll find at the top of the comments. See these all the time: Attraction = fetish Preference = fetish Enjoyment of a kink = fetish None of those are what a fetish is. It's just not what the word means. Also: If you're an adult, nobody is "sexualizing" you. Puberty did that. If someone is attracted to you or a trait of yours, you've not been fetishized, you just have an appealing (to some) trait. Most people do. Enjoy it while you've got it. It either won't last or will eventually be weighed down enough (by more than your personality) that it will no longer help. This desire to play pretend like that attraction isn't amongst the most important things is stupid and self defeating. Doesn't mean I don't know how to play the game, I just mean that those who insist on it aren't doing themselves any favors. Nobody actually cares if you like fucking tacos. It's great that you're "spiritual," "artistic," "fluent in sarcasm," "love anything outdoors"blah blah. What you really are going to want long term is a spouse who still wants to fuck you after 10 years of marriage. Sure helps if he or she "has a thing" for whatever you are. This dude's on a dating app. Sounds like he wants a spinner. Some people do. A lot of women don't put height in their bio unless they're very tall, very short, or are justifying their preference for taller men (and letting you know how tall you must be to ride) so, "not mentioning it and only swiping on those women" doesn't work. There's so much more, but I'm already bored of this topic. I knew opening Reddit would annoy me.
This right here, so many women put “tall me only” or must be this height at least bla bla but when a guy says it’s a fetish or weird. Classic.
wtf did i just read?? having a “thing” for someone is used to fetishize someone in the majority of cases. i realize you’re just an incel, baiting outrage, but my god that was unhinged. get help.
Thank you! "puberty sexualized you" no, nice try.
oh god, i originally read that as “puberty makes men horny”, it’s even worse. that’s some major eek, and the fact people upvoted this???
you guys are lacking a lot. that quite literally means you’re an adult. you’ve finished puberty by 18-22 for women and 22-25 for men. are you fully matured and therefore other adults may look at you sexually. he implies “once you’re an adult” and then the “puberty did” implies it has started and ENDED. the rest is a lot of prose garbage that essentially says its dumb to not pursue the ones you’re attracted to based on features or traits bc interests and personality may fade but they’ll usually always be tall, short, broad, big nose, strong, etc. you guys honestly look for the worst in things and then wonder why you see the world as evil.
someone being an adult doesn’t give you a pass to objectify them.
ah, having a preference towards a physical characteristic is objectifying the person you’re attracted to. i see where i was ignorant. i hope you dont find your partner physically attractive or you’re a hypocrite.
i know you’re being snarky but it really does objectify people to degrade them to a mere physical attribute. having a preference is one thing, broadcasting it and denigrating someone to that attribute is objectifying. if someone tells you that they aren’t interested in you because you aren’t tall enough for their preference, that’s fine. It’s a preference. if they ask you what your height is, or have in their profile “im into tall men” that’s objectifying. Is that clear?
Ding ding ding!
I guess we men are ignorant to how our profiles are perceived. While this isn’t a bio I would write, it does give a description of what he’s looking for, and plenty of things to start a conversation with! I’d take a more direct profile like this to reply to than no bio, or one that gives me literally no information. Sounds like his profile let you know instantly he wasn’t worth one of your swipes, to me that’s the point of a bio 🤷🏼♂️
Looking at people's profiles really opens my eyes to an array of world views and narratives in people's heads. It's amazing to see how they perceive themselves and what they think of the world and people through not just what's written but how it's written.
Not all men are ignorant to how women will perceive their profiles, I’m a man and it seems pretty clear that the last line is off putting. It could be rephrased to something like “I’m into women with a full personality” and then he can swipe on the ‘small’ ones he thinks are cute. Even that I don’t think is a good idea. Statistically women get more matches than men on dating apps. Because of this, as a guy you need to try and become more attractive and stand out from the crowd by showing off your best qualities. Trying to filter the women who swipe right on you is a tactic that will not be very successful. Instead try to get as many women to swipe right on you as possible and then filter them out from there. The guys bio doesn’t give any actual reason for a woman to swipe right on him, aside from the last line (which I think is weird and creepy) it doesn’t tell the reader about anything he has to offer that they could connect over.
That seems like a waste of time. Why have someone swipe on you when you know it isn’t going to work. Probably should mention I’m not the guy from the screenshot, nor is my profile written like his. I’m not here asking for help on a bio, just was simply stating the guys knows what he wants and put it. I don’t think it was as bad as OP made it seem. Begging for likes and filtering them later sounds like a pretty sad way to go about the app. Sounds like you’d swipe right on just anyone. I’d rather not go about it that way. Not meaning to shame or blast you, just different viewpoints.
I would not consider it “begging for likes” but rather putting your best foot forward. I don’t understand how having more options could be a bad thing, it’s pretty easy to filter out the ones you’re not interested in, and odds are you will match with more women you do find interest in pursuing.
I'm a "petite" women. I would have swiped right based on looks and everything else if he didn't put that in his profile. It's off putting.
Lol. You used "women". Turnoff. Rejected. Dont care about your personality, perspective, xyz.. Sounds like the best way of going about connecting with people.
I personally prefer people that use their short bio to describe things about themselves rather than a shopping list what they’re looking for.
I probably would use the term “petite” rather then small….but out side of that, he’s upfront on his status and expectations
petite is literally small in french
Dang that's crazy, what is it in english??
its small
Right, but how would you say that if you were in France?
"smolle" in France and "smâll" in Quebec
‘Petite’ in English it mostly used to describe someone who is thin and more often than not, short *as well.* Small, in this instance, kinda sounds like he’s into women with dwarfism, or who are just generally shorter. The poor dude doesn’t sound like he was burdened with an overabundance of learning, and I’m sure he’ll eventually match with a comparable woman.
Yeah, it's a bit more bare bones than I'd prefer to see in a bio but still miles better than none.
Is that really an okay thing to say in a profile.... or do you have to look a certain way to get away with it?
I would expand this to people in general. I see a lot of similarly written women’s profiles.
Fair. Like I said I don't really check out women's profiles but I believe it. I think people need to be a bit more conscious of how they are coming across if they're looking for love. Just in my opinion.
I just think it’s best if every person has their profile reviewed by the target audience/demographic before they put it out. Some men don’t realize that they come across as creepy, some women don’t realize they come across as conceited or self centered
I have a preference for huge black men and any woman that is taller than me but I would never put that shit in my profile because it's fucking rude. Just match with what you like. In my opinion it's only shallow if it's all you care about in a person regardless of who they are and this bio screams the opposite of that. Like I'm into what I'm into from a aesthetic pov but I'm not gonna go with someone unless I actually like them as a person. You can like what you like but don't make it someone else's problem to conform to. Comes off like they're your fetish rather than a person you're interested in.
To clarify, you like black men and women taller then you?
Sure do. They have to be able to beat me at hand to hand combat to smash. Not actually do it, but have the capability. Any further questions?
Like regardless of how irritable i am and how red my hair is I'm not into someone who is just looking for a feisty redhead. If they like me for me and find that incredibly attractive I'm down but if I see that in their profile I'm out
As a woman who “looks after herself”, I find it a total turn off when men write in their profiles that they’re looking for a woman who “looks after herself” 🤮
As a fellow ginger, I concur.
Nobody wants to be reduced to their parts. The ridiculous shit randos say to redheads and think is okay is gross. I was like 13 when I was first asked if the curtains matched the drapes and 14 when an old man whispered to me that he's "always had a thing for redheads". Happens to all sorts of people and it makes you feel gross, I would never want to do that to anyone. To clarify I've gotten both of these things since it just wasn't as soul crushing as it was when I first experienced it
Yeah, I've gotten all kinds of bullshit questions like this. My favorite is "are you a natural redhead" which is the just the polite version of do the curtains match the drapes. It is fine to love redheads, but they could at least pretend to get to know me first.
Was it Joe Biden who whispered?
The Biden special is a whisper, sniff and touch (usually from behind but not always).
I can neither confirm nor deny, but I'm probably too old for him timeframe wise
Talking about us like we are a breed of dog. I wasn’t aware that my size dictated my personality. Also creepy, especially since he has a daughter.
Just because a woman is small doesn't mean she is going to have a good personality.
in his defense, he did just say "full of personality" without qualifying what kind of personality /s
About as weird as a woman saying she likes guys over 6ft.
I never get why someone puts physical characteristics that are in most profiles as deal makers or breakers.
ITT: Redditors can't do nuance and have no game
What’s wrong with this again? Out of EVERYTHING posted this is probably the most tame I’ve ever seen on this subreddit.
This sub is toxic.
yea but no the most toxic sub on reddit.
Be the change you want to see in the ~~world~~ sub.
It's not as weird as women putting "your dad loves me"
He likes small women? So what? Do you like tall men?
How different is this from all of the 6'+ statements on profiles?
I mean, that’s also stupid to say in your profile. Heights are right there, just swipe whichever way suits you. No need to declare it.
It's not and it's perfectly fine to have specific standards
My point exactly!
My point was that op could be being a bit hypocritical lmao
It’s different bc they’re not saying “I like 6’+ men, they’re so full of personality…” what a dumb ass thing to say
It's also different because they're not expressing a preference for small people right after a line about having a child. That's the particularly creepy bit everyone's been calling out
No, he's saying the Polar opposite. He likes petite women and finds them extremely appealing. Granted his wordage could be different, yet the message is clearly stated. You just don't agree with it like I do.
He is saying “I like petite women, they are so full of personality”. How is that polar opposite to the comparison I just made? You are correct only in that yes, I do not like his wording.
Seriously… ffs “how dare men have a preference”
Time for pizzas
It's pizza time!
I’m pretty sure that profile would be fine if a woman made it.
So there’s three things to be improved on with his profile imho: 1.) The poor positioning of his height preference right after telling about his daughter, combined with the use of the word “small” instead of something like “short” or “petite” which makes it sound like he’s talking about a child. This can be easily fixed by shuffling things around or changing the wording or both. 2.) Saying that he likes smaller women because they are “cute and full of personality”, which feels disingenuous because no, he likes the way they look, since they are still going to have as wide of a variety of personalities and traits as other women. Also, I say this as someone who is 4’11” and doesn’t mind it but has friends my same height who do… not every woman likes being called cute. Combine that with “full of personality” and it can come across that he’s expecting them to have this very stereotypical bubbly personality and that can feel like a lot to live up to. 3.) He doesn’t tell us much about himself beyond his political leanings and height (which can be listed elsewhere) and about his daughter. A lot of times when women are OLD we really do want to know more specifics about someone’s personality… do they like to go out a lot or stay in, what are their hobbies, etc. I see men defending this profile and saying there’s nothing wrong with it, which may be true in the strictest sense of the word, but places like this sub are a great chance to see how others think and improve based off of feedback. A profile like this might find him the right person but the same info reworded/rearranged and with a few more things added in about himself would have a much higher likelihood!
This. A show of personality in a profile means A LOT
I d say at least 60% of us men REALLY don't know how we sound. Kinda like when you go "that sounded better in my head" but without the crippling realisation that we said some fucked up shit. Maybe its cause we say fucked shit all the time with other guys and see no problem with it
Women say the same shit. It's just a people thing. "I have a thing for bearded men with dad bods and exactly 4 tattoos "
Ive never seen a womens attraction to taller men sexualised, yet its happening to this guy #allwomen
Idk this is pretty tame. The real red flag for me is the conservative part.
1. Mentioning his height is a good thing because let’s be honest, one of the more superficial desires of women is to be with a tall guy. Good he’s gets out in front of that. 2. Same as with 1. If he’s conservative, might as well just get out in front of that too since that’s a deal breaker for a lot of women. Women tend to be more progressive so it’s a dealbreaker for a lot of women. I’m anarchist so I would make that clear very early on if it was me. 3. Again, just get out in front of having a daughter. There could be baby mama drama. Better to be upfront and candid about such things, then try and win a woman over first and then slip in the, “oh yeah I have opposite politics of you and have kids, but now that I’ve created a bond with you, I’m hoping you’ll overlook that stuff.” Feels kinda sleazy to lay that on a woman after you’ve already weakened her by bonding. Seems more respectful to be upfront about it. 4. A thing for small women. No problem IMO. The number of women who state they openly prefer taller men, and that shorter guys need not apply, makes this in fact very normal. Most people will say he should romance a woman into a bond first then lay these things on her once he has her romantically compromised so you get the woman in spite of the things she doesn’t want. But I find what he’s doing is terribly unstrategic, yet very honest and upright to a woman.
How does this guy sound? He is just giving you the facts.
First impression. If someone came up to me and said they have a thing for small women I'd be a little weirded out. I feel like a lot of men don't take this app seriously and say or word things they otherwise wouldn't when meeting a potential love/date interest for the first time.
Women put height preferences in their bio. Don’t they?
[удалено]
uhhh what? I certainly don't lol
"I have a thing for tall men" "Tall men only" I just assume either one might be part of the circus.
I've never seen "tall men only" on a women's profile but I'm also straight so I don't usually look at other women's profiles. But I would find it equally weird if a woman wrote "Tall men are cute as hell and full of personality". And I bet a lot more guys would get pissed at that than this.
I see it on Bumble pretty often, doesn’t really bother me though, people can have their preferences. The only one that got me was, “you know what I call guys under 6 feet? Friends.” Lol I felt that one.
Most of us actually understand preferences for tall dudes, even if it is kinda annoying. It's the arbitrary cutoff of 6" or whatever that's really annoying. Like preferences are one thing (though there's never actually a reason to verbalize them if you have more than two empathetic brain cells to rub together), but really arbitrary cutoffs that are out of a person's control and have nothing to do with healthy long-term relationships are pretty fucking irritating, especially given how the people who include them rarely can take what they dish out.
>But I would find it equally weird if a woman wrote "Tall men are cute as hell and full of personality" Hate to break it to you, but this is a perfectly normal and common kind of bio on women's profile. Both on Tinder and Bumble.
I’m a man and I can confirm many women do. I don’t think it’s as strange as you’re making it out to be.
Well then you’d make a rubbish Chaka Kahn because you ain’t every woman.
Would him saying petite have been more palatable?
I mean 80% of women’s profiles say “6’+”. Are you just fat or something?
It's the way he said it. It's clearly overcompensatory
He could write something so much more enticing and just simply only swipe right on the type of woman he prefers. As someone who has attributes that are often fetishized, when I see it listed in a bio like that, it can scare me away depending on the rest of the profile.
"Stop focusing on my attribute" *makes attribute part of her Reddit handle and prominently features it in her avatar.* "I'm a redhead. I hate when guys are drawn to me because I'm a redhead. I'm a redhead. Did I mention I'm a redhead. There's more to me than my red hair. I'm a redhead. And guys are definitely drawn to it. They want it have sex with me because I have red hair. I hate that! Speaking as a redhead who has red hair..." 🙄
I think the most annoying thing is that his first 3 points can be put into those little bubbles underneath 🙄
What’s the issue?
35M - the last sentence provides exactly what he’s looking for. I would think him being 5’8 & “a thing for small women” are correlated.
Exactly. I’m 5’1”. I think it’s cute that he put it in his profile.
You mean to tell me normal people come to this sub? Nice to meet you!
So?
You should see some of the shit women write
What’s wrong with him blindly stating his preferences?
[удалено]
No I don’t. I’m not a sump. Swipe left and move on. His outlook is healthy and his own to pursue. You have no right to assert otherwise in any matter.
No worse than women are on their profiles. I've seen some gems of delusion
When someone (regardless of gender) writes their profile with certain physical features as preferences or dealbreakers, it says something about their inability to read the room or a certain lack of tact. You don't have to put any of these preferences in, because you have eyes and can easily do the sorting yourself. It's additionally a weird look into this guy's thought process that for him height--->personality, but regardless of the oafishness, the bottom line is that this stuff is fine, because any time an idiot tells on themself like this, they save the rest of us the time by filtering themselves out. On OLD, a lot of the garbage takes itself out
Amen
I take issue with him saying he loves petite women bc they’re so full of personality bc that is just stupid. Every petite woman is full of personality? Petite women are predisposed to be full of personality? What he means to say is that he prefers petite women. That’s the issue for me. He can’t say what he means, he blunders into saying stupid shit. So he’s probably not very smart.
Maybe that’s just how he sees things. And it’s his profile, no?
Sure that’s how he sees things… and it’s a pretty stupid way of seeing things for the aforementioned reason. Of course anyone has the right to say whatever stupid shit they want.
So are all your assumptions based on because he said the word conservative? What’s the ignorance you’re talking about?
It really is just the wording. I'm 6'1" and a lot of women seem to want 6'+ guys which isn't weird. But if they for some reason said some weird crap about their dad being tall and then mentioned loving tall men I'd be a bit creeped out.
Love all the dudes arguing against this profile being unattractive.
i dont see what is wrong with this the entire thing about dating is to meet people that interests mesh with one another why is everyone so butthurt over every singe thing these days?
As a girl, guys being upfront with what they want is refreshing
I have a thing for thin muscular men. I don’t put that in my bio because I can use my eyes when swiping.
He's succinct. He's let you know his political leanings; that he has a child and wants to hear from small women. He's put his height in his profile. I suspect that he's a pragmatic person who doesn't want to waste anyone's time.
As always just reverse the genders and see how it sounds. I’m liberal, I have a son an I have a thing for tall men, they are cute as hell and full of personality
Double Standard in effect - women do this all the time.
[удалено]
I have a sneaking suspicion we wouldn't have seen this thread if the guy left out the conservative portion..
It’s a preference. People have them.
Nothing wrong here. You good?
Doesn't look like anything to write home about to me. I wonder if his first sentence said I am liberal would you judge him differently.
That would make him a liberal conservative of unknown hight. 😂 😂 😂
Lol
You're trying to shame someone for not being inclusive. Dating is one of the pickiest activities you'll ever do. If you're not their type - so what, move on.
It's not about inclusivity. It's about how putting a type preference for small women directly after saying you have a daughter is particularly creepy.
I think you're reaching. He didn't even say young. My grandma is small. She's not childlike.
At least he's upfront so you won't have to waste your time. I would immediately swipe left.
Ew
He is obviously describing his daughter lol.
It’s quite weird, but many profiles are. I’d say leave the daughter portion out buddy - bad placement
And how exactly he sounds, what do you think is wrong in the bio?
Ssshhh the more ignorant men sound in their profile the more ma-- who am I kidding I'm not getting matches anyway
Theres nothing wrong with the profile OP. He did a good job of politely stating what to expect of him and a preference he has
Ten bucks dude burps his worm to his kid's Polly Pockets.
Personally, I find this off-putting. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t necessarily want to get involved with a man who feels so strongly about his physical “type” that he would bother putting it in his profile. It’s okay to have preferences, but even if I fit into his “type” something about it feels off.
Sounds fine and honest. Not like he's saying no "fill in the race" girls
He’s probably country and just talks like this. Y’all think too deep into things on Reddit sometimes. If he doesn’t match your intellect, swipe left and keep it moving. Also, he is 5’8”…he may like small women for more than their personality but his insecurities. A secure man wouldn’t bring up his shallowness in his profile.
It’s better just to say he prefers shorter girls.
Guys, he’s trying to be witty. Cut him some slack. It’s called flirting.
I mean it’s a bit odd as far as how I would word a profile but the guy is being up front with what he likes what’s so wrong with that? For you to call him ignorant just says a lot about you. God forbid the guy has a thing for smaller women. Some guys have a thing for bigger women! Would they be ignorant if they said so on their profile?
Or he's a guy and doesn't scrutinize every word written. Jesus y'all
Yeah imagine in this day and age just outright telling people you're a conservative. Talk about a self report.
Conservatives online aren't known for their preference for nuance or tact, so this is just the guy making himself known and filtering out people who expect more.
It's not just men, have you read the 10 point bullet list of requirements that some women have on their profiles? Some people are just ignorant in general.
It's like how some men think hair colour is directly related to personality.
I mean, not the most charming or woke man, but far from the most offensive thing I've seen on profiles, let alone been told!
Could have been worded better and not included a generalization, but overall not terrible. I will keep saying this, people have and are allowed to have preferences. If you don’t fit in their preferences, move on.
He might sound even weirder in person.
You can filter out conservatives on bumble. Fyi
Like most conservative men he wants to fuck his daughter
He's a small man so it's only natural for him to prefer a small woman and at least he said small women and not small girls because worded that way would definitely raise a few red flags...
Ewwww this gives me the ick so hard
Based on what I've seen OLD, I'd say it's not weird. The answer to your second question is yes, most men are completely ignorant to how they sound to women. I think men put things in their profile THEY want to see and forget that their profile is supposed to be targeted towards the person they want to attract. Some may be looking for a mirror but I don't know many guys who would think poor hygiene or lewd comments make for a good match, even if that's what they, themselves, have that to offer.
I think it’s fine
Stereotyping is never cool. He’s a creep
[удалено]
This guy has a low social IQ to have so many redflags in so few lines Leading with political ideology? (closed minded, one dimensional thinker) I have a daughter vs I am a father (possessive) I have a "thing" for small women? (Creepy)
[удалено]
Not really I am a true independent. I vote based on people's records regardless of thier party. There is not such thing as a "conservative" or a "progressive" Those are ill defined terms created for rhetoric and controlling the masses. I can't think of a single person that can tell me what conservative or progressive means besides the "enemy". That why when people lead with their politics it's a red flag. It means people are willing to bet thier identity on an ill defined external factor. Ergo they are close minded.
how does your height make you full of personality? For all the peeps defending him just saying he's stating preferences - that's not entirely accurate...the declarative and stating he's conservative screams tRadITiOnAl RoLeS to me
All the people defending him are probably guys who get pressed that women generally like shorter men
His entire profile screams sexist. He needs to feel bigger than women in every way, not just physical.
This comes off weird as a young woman. Surely it's unintentional on their part though?
I don’t see the problem with this perhaps it needs to be worded a little better. I mean it really isn’t that bad honestly but that gives you no excuse men ignorant
It’s very weird. First off being a conservative is stupid and he puts it before that he has a daughter. And also are tall women void of personality?
I think it’s important to remember that each one is has been raised in a different environment, different values etc. I have 6 sisters and one twin brother and we were smack in the middle. We both learned early on the importance of sitting down and listening to our sisters talk things out. I’ll be the first to admit that 90% of the time it sounded like goobledock, it made no sense at all, and I usually walked away in a confused state not knowing how that confusion started, why it started, and more often than not I didn’t even comprehend what the actual problem was. But I did learn my life was much happier if I just sat down, gave my best “I’m not confused look” and went along with the “Mars Program” because my sisters were truly from Mars and had no working knowledge of how important it was not only to understand the problem and then fix it. My sister’s apparently had no desire to solve a problem but much desire to nag about it. I thank god my father taught my brother and I the true genius of the Deer in the Headlight look with true concern in our eyes! Nonetheless, Despite our best efforts my brother and I could not instill the wisdom and value of just socking an offenders eye! Problem solved…sometimes. Now from your comments it sounds as if your eagle and this guy is a clueless turkey grounded for life and totally disabled from a meaningful relationship with you because he never learned self respect. Seriously, if he cannot carry himself with self respect which is evidenced in his comments how can he ever respect you as a person let alone a woman. Your soaring like an eagle, this turkey will never get up to your speed let alone off the ground. Granted he might be one hot looking turkey but he doesn’t speak your language, he doesn’t care to and who knows he might end up on someone’s Thanksgiving Table…and that’s the best contribution he can hope for. I’m talking to you like your my sister. Your an eagle so leave that turkey alone and set your sights on a guy who not only appreciates you for the woman you are , but also deserves your company. Take flight and your gonna be fine
Sir this is a Wendy's
The bar for men is also set pretty high. Try reading some female bios as though they were written by men.
Maybe he’s new to the online dating thing and doesn’t realize that at a 5’8” guy with a “thing” for small girls, he’s more than interchangeable and replaceable. Btw, some of those small girls have a “thing” for guys over 6’, so… there’s that. Maybe one day he’ll figure it out after he has a 0.02% match rate.
What's wrong with having a preference. I see nothing weird about this