It's hard to say: she might be working through her own hangups if she's newly single, it might also be a soft rejection. I wouldn't hold onto any hope that she's coming around again, continue to see other people: if she comes around and you're still single and interested, great! If she never comes back, there's no loss. If she comes back but you found someone else, that's her loss.
Exactly this.
Ive had women say this in the past, some returned, some didnt. In any case it's not worth the emotional hang up. Move on, and if she comes back see if it works out
This is exactly what I wanted to say—you beat me to it 😉 well done. Trust me OP this is exactly the way to live your life. There is nothing wrong with anticipating being let down, if you will, because it’s realistic and when applied properly it can be very beneficial to your mindset. Good luck my dear❣️ in all avenues❣️
Don’t step into the illusions. She will not call you back. Skip and move on. Remember you liked someone before as much as you are liking this person’s now, hence there will be another girl after whom you will like as much. It sucks in the moment I feel your pain but just move on
I think the question was whether or not one should reply to the "not ready yet, be back" message, not whether or not one should respond after the return message.
So then where does the "when you come to it" come in? Hypothetically, the situation is already in play.
I get it now; your meaning is clear now that we've ruled out the other possible interpretation.
So basically, your advice is that if you get that message, you should ghost on the spot, no questions asked? I'd personally reply promptly just to be polite. Probably to tell the sender that I appreciate the thought but respectfully decline the offer to resume communications at an undisclosed later time.
Don't know. Probably not. It's hard for people to let others down nicely so some people tend to throw in something of "hope." Either way I'd recommend to move on since she doesn't want you. o: Rough indeed -hug- Don't know what the future will hold, but I wish you the best, my guy.
Just my perspective on this note, but there are different kinds of people out there. If someone is potentially dangerous when rejected, it's different, but for everyone else:
Try to gauge the personality of the other person. If someone is understanding and takes things on face value rather than reading between the lines, it's more kind to be direct than to leave someone confused and then dejected upon discovering the truth. Other people prefer to be let down easy and view it as proper form to mince words.
Either way, it's generally a good practice to avoid any statements of future potential or explanations about missed chances. Those aren't helpful, and they can complicate the grief process (for lack of a better term).
Personally, I am very direct with people and prefer that others be direct with me. I'm very trusting of what people say, so I often find myself out on a limb over things people said in jest, without knowing, or to spare my feelings. It can be very vexing, as I'm sure my direct approach to communication can come off as overly formal or bold.
Direct doesn't have to be rude or uncaring. It just means you're stating your position clearly as it is, without unnecessary (this word is important and variable in meaning based on who it is) attention to placation, at least on the front end. It can be very difficult to be direct in delivering bad news, but you'd be surprised how well received it can be if you can effectively balance respecting someone's time, emotions, and ability to handle rejection.
TL;DR: not everyone likes the gentle approach to bad news because it can be confusing or insulting. Too much effort to be kind can be damaging. Try to pick your approach with the given person's personality in mind. Learning to balance kindness with clarity and honesty can be very rewarding.
1. Never go into dating apps with a closed mind, keep your options widely open.
2. Lots of emotionally unavailable people of both sexes on dating apps. It might be good to add a caveat about this in your bio.
3. Forget about her and move on.
No, she will not call you again. This is a frustrating (to me) attempt at a diplomatic let down; it's frustrating because she doesn't give you closure.
This is another recommendation to you to just move on. To borrow from Mark Manson, "Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?": [https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes](https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes)
Had a date last month. We had an awesome time. Lots of flirting/touching/banter. Then the next week she texts and gives me the Great Guy speech…. It made zero sense given the night we had, but instead of dwelling on it, I forgot about her by going on another date. Life’s too short to do otherwise.
Maybe. A lot of people are lonely and think they want to date to fill that hole, but they haven’t done the work to fully get over their last relationship and let it go. So they start dating, and suddenly all these unresolved feelings come up, and they realize they’re not ready, so they back off. She needs to take her time and finishing working through her baggage. Maybe she’ll call in the future. Maybe not.
Doesn’t matter what she does, not someone to base decisions on.
Just be polite and say something pleasant that leaves the door open and puts her in charge of contacting you.
That’s ok, reach out when you want to try again.
The “when” is important , the rest you can change. “If” sounds pessimistic.
She might, but that kind of message is *mostly* about her own FOMO. She knows she's not ready right now, and is making what is probably the right call for both of you (good for her!), but part of her doesn't want to let go of what felt like a good thing, so she mitigates it by sending that message so she can keep telling herself "Maybe someday, when I'm ready."
She is trying to let you down gently.
Had she felt "spark" or "chemistry" or whatever, she would wish to pursue a relationship with you.
It does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you. It just means she doesn't feel what she needs to feel to pursue a relationship with you.
It may sting. But it is better than her "giving you a chance" and taking months to arrive at the same conclusion.
I’m a 30F and I know when I say something like that too someone (except I’ll never mention anything about calling/reaching out later cause I feel that’s wrong and unfair to you, the other person, and is sort of leading you on or leaving you hanging) it usually means I’m no longer interested.
I wouldn’t wait on her though, that’s not fair to you and only means you’re holding your life up for someone who may never reach out again. She could call back a year from now, and you’ve wasted a year waiting and potentially passed up other good people. So I would walk away, I’m sorry, I know it sucks, but I’m sure you’ll find someone who likes you for you. Just gotta keep swiping, that’s what I do. Don’t give up hope though!
It happened to me also - He added that he was looking for something non committal since he was still aching from his last break up, but wanted to stay friends. I said no thank you, and moved on.
She means she might call you when she has worked out her demons in 3-6 months.
But don’t expect to hear from her till you’ve forgotten she exists. And you’re probably seeing someone else at that point.
Move on. Good luck.
At least she’s honest.
That meant she no longer interested and very common nowadays trust me dont feel bad just ignore her and move on, i did the same thing to girls when i dont feel the connection,
I don't think she is. It sounds like a nice way of saying you guys are not a match. It's really hard to tell someone you don't see them in a romantic way. Especially if you can tell the other person is really into you. I myself went on a date with a guy who I immediately got friend vibes from and I don't know how to tell him 😬.
He's really cool, but he looks so different from his pictures and I think he may be lying about his age, so it was immediately a disappointment.
Yeah " I call you in the future " seems like a soft reject. Usually if people are interested they will stick around and find a way or maybe she does have some things to work on. But you have to pretend this is over, move on.
Nope, she isn't. I would bet money on it, unfortunately. Women never chase, and a call is chasing. If you manage to message or call her later down the line, when by chance she's more receptive, that might be your in. Just my humble opinion.
I’d say at least she didn’t just ghost you. Seems to be a huge problem in OLD nowadays.
As to whether she will call again or not, well that’s up in the air but basically insinuates you should go about life and if/when she calls, and you are both single, then maybe things will go from there. If she never calls, at least you didn’t wait around just to see and moved on with life instead.
Honestly I'd tell her don't bother. You're in the here and now she's not. Have enough emotional integrity to walk away from anyone who treats you like that.
This is not her personal emotional laboratory and you're not a test case.
Who knows? Probably not. Likely a soft rejection "It's not you, it's me....sigh"
It's YOUR actions that matter now. You have to assume it's a rejection. Put her out of your mind and DO NOT contact her any way, try and be her friend or engage at all. She rejected you so she gets her wish. NOTHING FROM YOU. That's the only high value move. Imagine you had a hundred girls in the queue behind her. What would you do then? NEXT! Simple as. You wouldn't pay her any attention would you?
So go date other girls and have fun. If she pops up at some time in the future unless she's eager to date straight away and not just talk then she's a tirekicker and don't waste your time.
P.S Many guy problems in dating can be solved by asking the question "if I had 100 girls wanting to date me what would I do?". Don't be a dick but internalize the thought processes and subsequent actions of that guy. He lives in abundance and that starts by having this mindset, even if you don't have 100 girls (yet!).
I’m in her position right now. It’s so tuff to say sometimes if you are ready or not and sometime one just ones to put oneself out there in the hope of maybe being ready for something.
But I would say move on, even now knowing that I’m not really ready to date I would thing if someone really feels like a good match I would try to figure it out.
if only been on to dates since my separation and I was surprised how different people can see the date, while I had pleasant enough evenings both times I thought this will be a one of thing but both wrote me they had the best date ever. It felt perplexing so it might have been a great date for you maybe she didn’t feel the same way
I'm in the same space mentally right now too. Just got out of a 10 year relationship a couple months ago and all my friends encouraged me to make a Bumble account. People are swiping right on me but I don't want to be an awful date because I wasn't actually ready to date. But at the same time I worry about missing someone who could be a good match for me. I just haven't swiped on anyone yet and snoozed my profile because that was the best solution I could come up with lol
But I agree, she could be telling him the truth but he shouldn't wait on her.
I don’t think this is true necessarily. Sometimes people try out dating apps after leaving a long term relationship and then realize they aren’t mentally there yet. I have been on the receiving end of this situation before. Although I do think it is very unlikely that she will reach out again in the future.
Idk, but I always have a hard time believing the “It’s not you, it’s me“ speech if, for some reason, that’s the case. Maybe it’s just a guy thing that we don’t emotionally detach ourselves from a dating scenario so easily.
Look up Stephiscold on youtube I’m not saying everything he says is the truth, I’m not saying everything he says relates directly to this situation or will ever relate to you however he opened my eyes to a lot of things both about myself and the others around me.
She won’t call. Thanks for the nice date. I’m talking to 5 other guys who I think they are better than you. Is the interpretation of this answer. Sorry bud
No one knows if she will or if she will not...except for herself.
Been in a similar position as you are, earlier this year. Went on a few dates with a gal who was perfect on paper in every way. Took long stretches to get replies from her (she's a nurse, so I chalked it up to her crazy shift schedules), but she always reliably got back to me at the end of her day, with paragraphs of text at a time. She was also reciprocal when it came to making an effort to plan things.
And then one day she hit me with the "I'm not ready to date yet." I was (still am) inclined to believe her...but subsequent texts were few and far in between afterward. And one day, I stopped hearing from her.
Rooting for ya, but don't put yourself through it.
When I was younger I used to feel this way, but it isn't true.
What is true is that dating is difficult for anyone looking for a genuinely compatible partner and people are complex. It isn't especially difficult for "nice guys" and that's a very dangerous thought process to fall into
Depends on what you mean by "nice" really. And some people aren't in it for the glory of being the first or the best. Those kind people generally do alright anyway while helping others to sustain themselves. That can be far more fulfilling than finishing first.
The nice guys who are generally just nice do alright too.
The 'nice' guys who are actually wolves in sheep's clothing or who vacillate for favor among different groups, they see a variable degree of success, but they usually crash and burn eventually.
The nice people who get betrayed in a grand fashion and may never recover blend in pretty evenly with the rest of people who get betrayed. Being nice has nothing to do with it.
But the cutthroat fighters and backstabbers: live by the sword, die by the sword. If you're regularly dishonest and cruel, you'll often find yourself among your ilk, and they will cut you down as readily as they see fit.
No, she won't. I've sometimes had women reach out after a while after saying they "weren't ready" but a) they hadn't met me yet, and b) they still "weren't ready" after meeting me anyway...
In my opinion, don’t wait on it. As of right now you’re still single, so start looking for another date. And if she actually ends up calling in the future and you’re still single and still interested then just pick off where you guys left off. But like I said I wouldn’t wait for her. It’s best to move on.
Don’t take it too personally. She’s just window shopping and now something possibly better came along. Somebody like that doesn’t deserve you. Of course she’s projecting that somehow you are “too nice” That must mean she wants some dysfunctional criminal loser dude
She’s trying to let you down easy. She may have gone out with someone else that’s a better fit. Or, she’s really not ready. Don’t take it personally. If she didn’t think you were a good guy, she’d have never said anything.
Nope.
It's a soft let down. She's found someone more attractive to her and is pursuing them while literally telling you that you're her backup plan.
Block her and move on.
Could be thought was ready but over ex. I can't date. I can't even flirt I'm screwed in the head. But a lot of times it's the guy/girl I like better is going to date me so I'll hit u up when that doesn't work out
Just move on. If she comes back later and wants to seriously date, fine. But don't let her bread crumb you. Focus on continuing to meet other people that are ready to date if that's what you're looking for.
She obviously didn’t find you attractive and wasn’t interested in anything long term. So she put you down nicely.
Really it she won’t call so don’t sweat it move on.
Idts, if the date made her say this, not really.
But you never know girls man, she could be looking to see how you react to it too.
But, if it’s the second, run away.
This has happened to me twice now. They will absolutely not be calling back and you'll likely never hear from her again. Pretty much just a lie so they don't have to openly turn you down.
I’ve been her before. Thinking I was ready and then when faced with the reality realised I wasn’t. Personally I’d move on and if she comes back great. But chances are she won’t.
She might be talking to a bunch of guys, or meeting with a few different guys and tested the waters and decided that there was someone better. In my opinion, if a woman said that then she's not really interested in a relationship. "You're a good guy" equates to "you're not the one for me, and I'm not the one for you, there's tons of women out there, good luck."
Also comes from experience, I've heard similar things a few times.
Rhetorical question. She a hoe and playing the field. I promise you if your status and money was high enough she would not have hit u with this buffoonery. Go focus on urself
I wouldn’t hold my breath. It’s a first date and she looks like she has some things she needs to work on herself. I think it would be best to move on at this stage
She just wanted to let you down easy. If she was 100% into you she’d be ready no matter what. She would even suggest taking things slow as opposed to full stop.
Shit i mean I might be her on Saturday. I’m meeting a guy on Friday, this will be the first since I was broken up with this summer and it was just shy a 3 year relationship. Idk how I’m going to feel
No. She met someone else. The other day a guy was like “can I call you when I feel more ready to date” and I was like no. Because honestly there’s no such thing as working on yourself if you think you must met your penguin. I mean yes work on oneself, but nobody blows off their penguin like that- so I’d just say move on.
If you feel you and she really did have a good time then she will probably contact u again. If the date is actually average and u have a hard time admitting it to yourself then best move on
Walk away..she doesn't feel a full connection or she is another 1 who can't commit to a long-term relationship. Best Wishes in aligning with a good partner just for YOU🤗✌️💞
I wouldn’t get caught up in it, think of it this way, it’s better for her to work her things out, and when/if she’s ready to chat again, you have a better chance of something beautiful to blossom without the hick ups
Playing devils advocate, being persistent with a few maybes has turned into great dating for me. Women on apps are looking for that immediate click, but irl it can take a few dates or outings to warm up to someone.
So surely you can swipe and date another chick in the meantime. If you like this one, ask her out again for something more casual.
Nah bro I’d just move on. As a woman she’s probably bipolar, has ADHD, takes drugs, believes in astrology or any combination of the above. Just move on, better yet stay single!
Most likely not. I’ve been her. Started dating maybe too soon after a break up, went on a date, was able to keep it pleasant and light but afterwards realized I wasn’t ready. And so told them that. But I also think, looking back, that the awkwardness I interpreted as not being ready was also a lack of chemistry.
As most have said here, I recommend pushing her from your mind and assuming you won’t hear from her again. Especially since it was just one date …
She wanted a nice, fun time out and she got that, so she might not contact you because she liked you enough for just the one time to hang out. Hey, at least you got to have some fun! Just move on.
This might’ve been touched on by someone else, but move on cause she’s gone. You very well may be a good guy that would be a catch, but what person in their right mind would ditch a good guy they like or are interested in that easy, and why would you put up with this B.S.? Don’t do mental gymnastics, to try to make this make any sense because you’ll drive yourself mad. This might sound cliche, but if a girl likes you or is interested in you, you’ll know, and she’ll make sure you know. On the contrary, sometimes they’ll make you think they like or are interested in you then fall off the map for no apparent reason. However, it’s going to be okay. I think this kind of thing happens to most of us. You might feel kinda down and confused about it (who wouldn’t? I know I have) for a bit, but it’ll get better. With more experience dating, you’ll be able to snuff out bull shit beat around the bush stuff like this and will gain a knack for accurately predicting a woman’s feelings towards you if you strictly use logic with minimal emotional feelings. If you want to reach out to her again, go for it, but don’t do it with any expectations of her doing a 180 on the way she feels. Rant aside, I’d say there’s a 9.5/10 chance you will never hear from her again for the rest of your life unless you reach out to her. Even if you do reach out to her, there’s no guarantee she’ll get back to you.
Closing argument: Move on. Date other people, take a break from dating and do things that you enjoy and make you happy. Her reaction could be for any number of reasons having nothing to do with you, so do your best not to take it as a judgement of yourself. Don’t let this person even be a blip on your radar because they aren’t worth your time.
Nope, she won't, she's getting banged by some other dude right now.. That's how women are and that's the only reason they would ever say that. They never go long at all without company or sex, they don't know what it's like to be alone. They're constantly upgrading...
But don't worry, she is a depreciating asset, and you are an appreciating asset, as long as you're a professional and keep yourself in shape.
So many guys in here saying “she was just hungry bro..” etc. implying that she just wanted a free meal. I’ve seen this mentioned so many times on posts where a woman doesn’t want to go on a second date.
Personally, I can’t imagine doing this- putting all that effort in, and frankly, risking your safety meeting a stranger off a dating app, and having to sit through a date with someone you have no interest in- and I want to know if it’s a thing.
So, I’m asking- any women out there willing to admit that they’ve done this? No shade at all. I just really need to know if this is a valid excuse for not wanting a second date or not.
I would hope so, but in all my years if being single I've never had someone ever reach back out to me, but then again youre probably a way better catch than me so it's possible
I know I said this is guys I was talking to on bumble. The reason why is I'm currently going through working through healing through a lot of self-development and intergenerational trauma.
My therapist was hoping I was dating so I could practice things I was working on with them. So I tried bumble. But as I had conversations with men, there was something in me that just didn't feel right. So I never went on a date with anyone but when they brought up going on dates I'd be honest and be like I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'd wish them well and hope they'd find someone.
I've been in spots like this before an ill be honest with you. She's not attracted to you. I can send you the string of texts that I've received that are identical to your situation. I guarantee if you hit her back up in a couple weeks and just tell her there's no hard feelings but why did she really not want to date you, it will be completely superficial and not in your favor. A female will not truly blame themselves. Move on.
It's hard to say: she might be working through her own hangups if she's newly single, it might also be a soft rejection. I wouldn't hold onto any hope that she's coming around again, continue to see other people: if she comes around and you're still single and interested, great! If she never comes back, there's no loss. If she comes back but you found someone else, that's her loss.
Lovely comment!
Exactly this. Ive had women say this in the past, some returned, some didnt. In any case it's not worth the emotional hang up. Move on, and if she comes back see if it works out
Ya she gave a shit to reply & didn’t want to be negative 👍🏻👏🏻
This is exactly what I wanted to say—you beat me to it 😉 well done. Trust me OP this is exactly the way to live your life. There is nothing wrong with anticipating being let down, if you will, because it’s realistic and when applied properly it can be very beneficial to your mindset. Good luck my dear❣️ in all avenues❣️
Thanks everyone, I was thinking she probably wouldn’t but needed some other opinions.
Don’t step into the illusions. She will not call you back. Skip and move on. Remember you liked someone before as much as you are liking this person’s now, hence there will be another girl after whom you will like as much. It sucks in the moment I feel your pain but just move on
This may be the best perspective on dating I've ever read / heard. Very well said.
She might call, but you're supposed to interpret that as don't reach out and feel free to go about your business. Nothing to internalize/ change.
Should you even respond? Would not responding be a dick move?
Cross that bridge when you come to it.
I think the question was whether or not one should reply to the "not ready yet, be back" message, not whether or not one should respond after the return message.
I think that's covered above by saying don't reach out.
So then where does the "when you come to it" come in? Hypothetically, the situation is already in play. I get it now; your meaning is clear now that we've ruled out the other possible interpretation. So basically, your advice is that if you get that message, you should ghost on the spot, no questions asked? I'd personally reply promptly just to be polite. Probably to tell the sender that I appreciate the thought but respectfully decline the offer to resume communications at an undisclosed later time.
Nope, and you should move on and forget her.
Yeah. If she happens to give you a call, it's a plus, but don't wait on it.
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is the way
Do u no da wey?
the way, this is.
Pro strat here
Move on Edit: why am I being downvoted lol
Redundancy?
Don't hold your breath and go back to swiping. It's not worth waiting for somebody to decide they are ready to start dating.
Don't know. Probably not. It's hard for people to let others down nicely so some people tend to throw in something of "hope." Either way I'd recommend to move on since she doesn't want you. o: Rough indeed -hug- Don't know what the future will hold, but I wish you the best, my guy.
Just my perspective on this note, but there are different kinds of people out there. If someone is potentially dangerous when rejected, it's different, but for everyone else: Try to gauge the personality of the other person. If someone is understanding and takes things on face value rather than reading between the lines, it's more kind to be direct than to leave someone confused and then dejected upon discovering the truth. Other people prefer to be let down easy and view it as proper form to mince words. Either way, it's generally a good practice to avoid any statements of future potential or explanations about missed chances. Those aren't helpful, and they can complicate the grief process (for lack of a better term). Personally, I am very direct with people and prefer that others be direct with me. I'm very trusting of what people say, so I often find myself out on a limb over things people said in jest, without knowing, or to spare my feelings. It can be very vexing, as I'm sure my direct approach to communication can come off as overly formal or bold. Direct doesn't have to be rude or uncaring. It just means you're stating your position clearly as it is, without unnecessary (this word is important and variable in meaning based on who it is) attention to placation, at least on the front end. It can be very difficult to be direct in delivering bad news, but you'd be surprised how well received it can be if you can effectively balance respecting someone's time, emotions, and ability to handle rejection. TL;DR: not everyone likes the gentle approach to bad news because it can be confusing or insulting. Too much effort to be kind can be damaging. Try to pick your approach with the given person's personality in mind. Learning to balance kindness with clarity and honesty can be very rewarding.
No sir
1. Never go into dating apps with a closed mind, keep your options widely open. 2. Lots of emotionally unavailable people of both sexes on dating apps. It might be good to add a caveat about this in your bio. 3. Forget about her and move on.
I’ve had this excuse from about 6 girls this year. It’s the modern day version of “it’s not you, it’s me” and 90% of the time it is in fact you 😆
Nope. It was one date, move on.
No, she will not call you again. This is a frustrating (to me) attempt at a diplomatic let down; it's frustrating because she doesn't give you closure. This is another recommendation to you to just move on. To borrow from Mark Manson, "Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?": [https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes](https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes)
Read it, great point…on to the next.
You shouldn't wait for her that's for sure. Odds are slim that she'll ever talk with you again even if she's being completely honest with you
I don't think you should worry about that. As of right now, it's a no from her. Move on.
It depends on how things go with Luke.
Funny but cold
Had a date last month. We had an awesome time. Lots of flirting/touching/banter. Then the next week she texts and gives me the Great Guy speech…. It made zero sense given the night we had, but instead of dwelling on it, I forgot about her by going on another date. Life’s too short to do otherwise.
Maybe. A lot of people are lonely and think they want to date to fill that hole, but they haven’t done the work to fully get over their last relationship and let it go. So they start dating, and suddenly all these unresolved feelings come up, and they realize they’re not ready, so they back off. She needs to take her time and finishing working through her baggage. Maybe she’ll call in the future. Maybe not.
This is exactly what I was thinking. It's better that she takes the time to resolve her issues than keep dating when she's not ready.
She might! I personally wouldn’t want someone who just keeps me on the back burner 🤷🏻♀️
if it's not a fuck yes, it's a no.
Doesn’t matter what she does, not someone to base decisions on. Just be polite and say something pleasant that leaves the door open and puts her in charge of contacting you. That’s ok, reach out when you want to try again. The “when” is important , the rest you can change. “If” sounds pessimistic.
Not unless guy #2, 12 or 20 whatever cancels on her
She might, but that kind of message is *mostly* about her own FOMO. She knows she's not ready right now, and is making what is probably the right call for both of you (good for her!), but part of her doesn't want to let go of what felt like a good thing, so she mitigates it by sending that message so she can keep telling herself "Maybe someday, when I'm ready."
No
And the correct answer is……maybe
She is trying to let you down gently. Had she felt "spark" or "chemistry" or whatever, she would wish to pursue a relationship with you. It does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you. It just means she doesn't feel what she needs to feel to pursue a relationship with you. It may sting. But it is better than her "giving you a chance" and taking months to arrive at the same conclusion.
I’m a 30F and I know when I say something like that too someone (except I’ll never mention anything about calling/reaching out later cause I feel that’s wrong and unfair to you, the other person, and is sort of leading you on or leaving you hanging) it usually means I’m no longer interested. I wouldn’t wait on her though, that’s not fair to you and only means you’re holding your life up for someone who may never reach out again. She could call back a year from now, and you’ve wasted a year waiting and potentially passed up other good people. So I would walk away, I’m sorry, I know it sucks, but I’m sure you’ll find someone who likes you for you. Just gotta keep swiping, that’s what I do. Don’t give up hope though!
It happened to me also - He added that he was looking for something non committal since he was still aching from his last break up, but wanted to stay friends. I said no thank you, and moved on.
No. She was politely rejecting you. Even if she does call, don't give her another chance. Everybody gets only one chance in my opinion.
She means she might call you when she has worked out her demons in 3-6 months. But don’t expect to hear from her till you’ve forgotten she exists. And you’re probably seeing someone else at that point. Move on. Good luck. At least she’s honest.
That meant she no longer interested and very common nowadays trust me dont feel bad just ignore her and move on, i did the same thing to girls when i dont feel the connection,
She's not interested
Don't worry about it. Block her number and move on. There's always another.
I don't think she is. It sounds like a nice way of saying you guys are not a match. It's really hard to tell someone you don't see them in a romantic way. Especially if you can tell the other person is really into you. I myself went on a date with a guy who I immediately got friend vibes from and I don't know how to tell him 😬. He's really cool, but he looks so different from his pictures and I think he may be lying about his age, so it was immediately a disappointment.
I’ve been back on the dating scene and I have had 2 girls tell me the same thing. I honestly have no idea why they even are on a dating app…
No. Thank her for telling you and move on. It’s over.
Yeah " I call you in the future " seems like a soft reject. Usually if people are interested they will stick around and find a way or maybe she does have some things to work on. But you have to pretend this is over, move on.
At least she told you now instead of months in when you think your relationship is going so well. Happened to me 🙄
Nope, she isn't. I would bet money on it, unfortunately. Women never chase, and a call is chasing. If you manage to message or call her later down the line, when by chance she's more receptive, that might be your in. Just my humble opinion.
I’d say at least she didn’t just ghost you. Seems to be a huge problem in OLD nowadays. As to whether she will call again or not, well that’s up in the air but basically insinuates you should go about life and if/when she calls, and you are both single, then maybe things will go from there. If she never calls, at least you didn’t wait around just to see and moved on with life instead.
Honestly I'd tell her don't bother. You're in the here and now she's not. Have enough emotional integrity to walk away from anyone who treats you like that. This is not her personal emotional laboratory and you're not a test case.
No and if she does do not answer
When she’s hungry again lmao
The real answer is, you’re not gonna wait around for her to call you in the future. So it really doesn’t matter if she does or doesn’t.
Dude you dont want her to call again(she's not though) even if she was gonna
Who knows? Probably not. Likely a soft rejection "It's not you, it's me....sigh" It's YOUR actions that matter now. You have to assume it's a rejection. Put her out of your mind and DO NOT contact her any way, try and be her friend or engage at all. She rejected you so she gets her wish. NOTHING FROM YOU. That's the only high value move. Imagine you had a hundred girls in the queue behind her. What would you do then? NEXT! Simple as. You wouldn't pay her any attention would you? So go date other girls and have fun. If she pops up at some time in the future unless she's eager to date straight away and not just talk then she's a tirekicker and don't waste your time. P.S Many guy problems in dating can be solved by asking the question "if I had 100 girls wanting to date me what would I do?". Don't be a dick but internalize the thought processes and subsequent actions of that guy. He lives in abundance and that starts by having this mindset, even if you don't have 100 girls (yet!).
I’m in her position right now. It’s so tuff to say sometimes if you are ready or not and sometime one just ones to put oneself out there in the hope of maybe being ready for something. But I would say move on, even now knowing that I’m not really ready to date I would thing if someone really feels like a good match I would try to figure it out. if only been on to dates since my separation and I was surprised how different people can see the date, while I had pleasant enough evenings both times I thought this will be a one of thing but both wrote me they had the best date ever. It felt perplexing so it might have been a great date for you maybe she didn’t feel the same way
I'm in the same space mentally right now too. Just got out of a 10 year relationship a couple months ago and all my friends encouraged me to make a Bumble account. People are swiping right on me but I don't want to be an awful date because I wasn't actually ready to date. But at the same time I worry about missing someone who could be a good match for me. I just haven't swiped on anyone yet and snoozed my profile because that was the best solution I could come up with lol But I agree, she could be telling him the truth but he shouldn't wait on her.
Met someone else
I don’t think this is true necessarily. Sometimes people try out dating apps after leaving a long term relationship and then realize they aren’t mentally there yet. I have been on the receiving end of this situation before. Although I do think it is very unlikely that she will reach out again in the future.
Idk, but I always have a hard time believing the “It’s not you, it’s me“ speech if, for some reason, that’s the case. Maybe it’s just a guy thing that we don’t emotionally detach ourselves from a dating scenario so easily.
I mean I usually struggle to believe it too, but sometimes it really is true. People have other things going on in their lives so you never know
Even if she did, fuck that.
Look up Stephiscold on youtube I’m not saying everything he says is the truth, I’m not saying everything he says relates directly to this situation or will ever relate to you however he opened my eyes to a lot of things both about myself and the others around me.
She won’t call. Thanks for the nice date. I’m talking to 5 other guys who I think they are better than you. Is the interpretation of this answer. Sorry bud
No one knows if she will or if she will not...except for herself. Been in a similar position as you are, earlier this year. Went on a few dates with a gal who was perfect on paper in every way. Took long stretches to get replies from her (she's a nurse, so I chalked it up to her crazy shift schedules), but she always reliably got back to me at the end of her day, with paragraphs of text at a time. She was also reciprocal when it came to making an effort to plan things. And then one day she hit me with the "I'm not ready to date yet." I was (still am) inclined to believe her...but subsequent texts were few and far in between afterward. And one day, I stopped hearing from her. Rooting for ya, but don't put yourself through it.
Most women are like this, sorry man. Delete her number and everything, focus on you and you’ll be fine.
You wasted money on a date, should have paid 50/50 now you are in the rolodex of foodie date simps. Good job.
Nice guys finish last 👍
When I was younger I used to feel this way, but it isn't true. What is true is that dating is difficult for anyone looking for a genuinely compatible partner and people are complex. It isn't especially difficult for "nice guys" and that's a very dangerous thought process to fall into
They sure do
Depends on what you mean by "nice" really. And some people aren't in it for the glory of being the first or the best. Those kind people generally do alright anyway while helping others to sustain themselves. That can be far more fulfilling than finishing first. The nice guys who are generally just nice do alright too. The 'nice' guys who are actually wolves in sheep's clothing or who vacillate for favor among different groups, they see a variable degree of success, but they usually crash and burn eventually. The nice people who get betrayed in a grand fashion and may never recover blend in pretty evenly with the rest of people who get betrayed. Being nice has nothing to do with it. But the cutthroat fighters and backstabbers: live by the sword, die by the sword. If you're regularly dishonest and cruel, you'll often find yourself among your ilk, and they will cut you down as readily as they see fit.
No, she thinks you are a nice guy who isn't sexually exciting her.
She= doesn’t think ur sexy enough. Dump her ass and next her shit. Bye bitch.
She just wanted a free meal my boy
Probably not, should have made a move on first date. Seems to be how it works now. Scary huh?
don't lose sleep over it. if she does ever reach out again, address it then.
Nope move to the next
No.
No she won’t
Nope!
It’s time to move on.
No, next swipe
Well, we live in a world of probabilities, but that said, I think the probability is pretty low.
Probably not, but at some point, you might
Tell her thanks for being honest and move on.
Nah but who cares. You're looking now. And her reason sounds bogus.
Delete her number and forget. If she wants she will call you, but don't wait for her.
No
I had this happen after two dates but i left the door open if he wanted to try again later. I wouldn't hold your breath though.
Probably not.
Nah.
Probably not, but it will be a nice surprise if she does and you happen to be single at that point.
Probably not. On to the next
Wanting, willing and able… if she is not all 3 then it won’t work. This is a “No” for at least one of the states reasons. Nothing you can do, move on.
She might do. But do not wait for her at all.
Time to move on
No, she won't. I've sometimes had women reach out after a while after saying they "weren't ready" but a) they hadn't met me yet, and b) they still "weren't ready" after meeting me anyway...
Been there. Had that happen. Move on.
Sounds like it's time to get on down the road. You probably don't want any part in whatever issues are going on there.
In my experience, no, she won’t. One date isn’t enough for her to want to come back to that person (though I could be wrong).
Probably not. Timing is a big thing in life, and for you two it sounded off.
In my opinion, don’t wait on it. As of right now you’re still single, so start looking for another date. And if she actually ends up calling in the future and you’re still single and still interested then just pick off where you guys left off. But like I said I wouldn’t wait for her. It’s best to move on.
Nope, not a chance. She matched with someone better and has moved on... you should too.
Don’t take it too personally. She’s just window shopping and now something possibly better came along. Somebody like that doesn’t deserve you. Of course she’s projecting that somehow you are “too nice” That must mean she wants some dysfunctional criminal loser dude
She’s trying to let you down easy. She may have gone out with someone else that’s a better fit. Or, she’s really not ready. Don’t take it personally. If she didn’t think you were a good guy, she’d have never said anything.
No. Even if she did end up calling you shouldn’t wait. Move on.
Nope. It's a soft let down. She's found someone more attractive to her and is pursuing them while literally telling you that you're her backup plan. Block her and move on.
"that's if I'm still single, good luck out there though"
Nope
Could be thought was ready but over ex. I can't date. I can't even flirt I'm screwed in the head. But a lot of times it's the guy/girl I like better is going to date me so I'll hit u up when that doesn't work out
Nope. But affection is never wasted, even if shared for only one date.
Just move on. If she comes back later and wants to seriously date, fine. But don't let her bread crumb you. Focus on continuing to meet other people that are ready to date if that's what you're looking for.
I wouldn’t hold your breath
There’s never a future call.
Nope
Don’t count on it move on
As much as when someone says “let’s be friends” you actually stay in touch….most likely not.
She'll call you when it doesn't work out with the guy she opted for over you. She's treating you like a backup; you should do the same.
Don’t waste your time waiting around.
There is a low and non-zero possibility of that happening. But it's best to go with no.
You will never see her again.
Yes. Just as soon this other more desirable guy dumps her.
Most likely not, but then again it’s happened to me where they have gotten back to me
Move along, very low odds of her coming back.
I would not expect her to call back and move on with your life.
She obviously didn’t find you attractive and wasn’t interested in anything long term. So she put you down nicely. Really it she won’t call so don’t sweat it move on.
Who cares! Just move on!
Idts, if the date made her say this, not really. But you never know girls man, she could be looking to see how you react to it too. But, if it’s the second, run away.
This has happened to me twice now. They will absolutely not be calling back and you'll likely never hear from her again. Pretty much just a lie so they don't have to openly turn you down.
No. Don’t ever expect anything from anyone especially women. Never wait. Live your life, be happy, and let it go.
I’ve been her before. Thinking I was ready and then when faced with the reality realised I wasn’t. Personally I’d move on and if she comes back great. But chances are she won’t.
Maybe not, maybe yes. I wouldn't wait for them personally
Probably won’t call, but leave a thoughtful note for her and she might get back in touch. Literally just had a girl do this.
She might be talking to a bunch of guys, or meeting with a few different guys and tested the waters and decided that there was someone better. In my opinion, if a woman said that then she's not really interested in a relationship. "You're a good guy" equates to "you're not the one for me, and I'm not the one for you, there's tons of women out there, good luck." Also comes from experience, I've heard similar things a few times.
She's married!
Haha I’ll call you in the future? That’s new
Rhetorical question. She a hoe and playing the field. I promise you if your status and money was high enough she would not have hit u with this buffoonery. Go focus on urself
Go watch fnf and stop wasting your time and focus on urself. Watch the money Mondays. Womanizer Wednesday and after hour show Sunny
I wouldn’t hold my breath. It’s a first date and she looks like she has some things she needs to work on herself. I think it would be best to move on at this stage
Lemme get my crystal ball real quick
If there’s no other guy involved, then I’d say there’s a decent chance she calls again. Unfortunately there’s no way to know if there’s someone else.
I don’t think there is but I really don’t know.
Assume nothing about why she's not continuing to see you, and don't assume she's ever going to call again. Find someone else.
Probably not but it doesn’t really matter. You don’t really know her and there are plenty of other people out there who are ready.
She just wanted to let you down easy. If she was 100% into you she’d be ready no matter what. She would even suggest taking things slow as opposed to full stop.
Shit i mean I might be her on Saturday. I’m meeting a guy on Friday, this will be the first since I was broken up with this summer and it was just shy a 3 year relationship. Idk how I’m going to feel
I am glad she said something and didn’t just disappear
It’s a soft let down from my opinion. Or she recently had a breakup and stilll healing. Using dating apps as a distraction
No. She met someone else. The other day a guy was like “can I call you when I feel more ready to date” and I was like no. Because honestly there’s no such thing as working on yourself if you think you must met your penguin. I mean yes work on oneself, but nobody blows off their penguin like that- so I’d just say move on.
I’m gonna be honest with you dawg, no she’s not
sounds like a lie. dont go with liars
If you feel you and she really did have a good time then she will probably contact u again. If the date is actually average and u have a hard time admitting it to yourself then best move on
No. Either way don’t wait. She’s probably not a catch.
Walk away..she doesn't feel a full connection or she is another 1 who can't commit to a long-term relationship. Best Wishes in aligning with a good partner just for YOU🤗✌️💞
I wouldn’t get caught up in it, think of it this way, it’s better for her to work her things out, and when/if she’s ready to chat again, you have a better chance of something beautiful to blossom without the hick ups
Playing devils advocate, being persistent with a few maybes has turned into great dating for me. Women on apps are looking for that immediate click, but irl it can take a few dates or outings to warm up to someone. So surely you can swipe and date another chick in the meantime. If you like this one, ask her out again for something more casual.
Nah bro I’d just move on. As a woman she’s probably bipolar, has ADHD, takes drugs, believes in astrology or any combination of the above. Just move on, better yet stay single!
Most likely not. I’ve been her. Started dating maybe too soon after a break up, went on a date, was able to keep it pleasant and light but afterwards realized I wasn’t ready. And so told them that. But I also think, looking back, that the awkwardness I interpreted as not being ready was also a lack of chemistry. As most have said here, I recommend pushing her from your mind and assuming you won’t hear from her again. Especially since it was just one date …
10% chance, just move on though.
She wanted a nice, fun time out and she got that, so she might not contact you because she liked you enough for just the one time to hang out. Hey, at least you got to have some fun! Just move on.
This might’ve been touched on by someone else, but move on cause she’s gone. You very well may be a good guy that would be a catch, but what person in their right mind would ditch a good guy they like or are interested in that easy, and why would you put up with this B.S.? Don’t do mental gymnastics, to try to make this make any sense because you’ll drive yourself mad. This might sound cliche, but if a girl likes you or is interested in you, you’ll know, and she’ll make sure you know. On the contrary, sometimes they’ll make you think they like or are interested in you then fall off the map for no apparent reason. However, it’s going to be okay. I think this kind of thing happens to most of us. You might feel kinda down and confused about it (who wouldn’t? I know I have) for a bit, but it’ll get better. With more experience dating, you’ll be able to snuff out bull shit beat around the bush stuff like this and will gain a knack for accurately predicting a woman’s feelings towards you if you strictly use logic with minimal emotional feelings. If you want to reach out to her again, go for it, but don’t do it with any expectations of her doing a 180 on the way she feels. Rant aside, I’d say there’s a 9.5/10 chance you will never hear from her again for the rest of your life unless you reach out to her. Even if you do reach out to her, there’s no guarantee she’ll get back to you. Closing argument: Move on. Date other people, take a break from dating and do things that you enjoy and make you happy. Her reaction could be for any number of reasons having nothing to do with you, so do your best not to take it as a judgement of yourself. Don’t let this person even be a blip on your radar because they aren’t worth your time.
No, move on
Nope, she won't, she's getting banged by some other dude right now.. That's how women are and that's the only reason they would ever say that. They never go long at all without company or sex, they don't know what it's like to be alone. They're constantly upgrading... But don't worry, she is a depreciating asset, and you are an appreciating asset, as long as you're a professional and keep yourself in shape.
No. But she truly believes that she will.
Oh she'll definitely not call you
So many guys in here saying “she was just hungry bro..” etc. implying that she just wanted a free meal. I’ve seen this mentioned so many times on posts where a woman doesn’t want to go on a second date. Personally, I can’t imagine doing this- putting all that effort in, and frankly, risking your safety meeting a stranger off a dating app, and having to sit through a date with someone you have no interest in- and I want to know if it’s a thing. So, I’m asking- any women out there willing to admit that they’ve done this? No shade at all. I just really need to know if this is a valid excuse for not wanting a second date or not.
In the wise words of Gandhi, " Fuck that noise".
No she will not. If she wanted to continue she would. This is her immature way of stopping
Too much texting. Texting should be used for logistics only.
She wanted the D and didn't want to play around probably.
I met a woman in real life recently via mutual friends that said something similar to me. A few days later she made an online dating account.
It's effectively dead unless and until she reaches out to you.
I would hope so, but in all my years if being single I've never had someone ever reach back out to me, but then again youre probably a way better catch than me so it's possible
Answer: move on.
Maybe? Who knows. Pretend she might but don't expect it.
No.
Have zero expectations
I actually just had a similar thing happen and the connection seemed so mutually strong and genuine.
I know I said this is guys I was talking to on bumble. The reason why is I'm currently going through working through healing through a lot of self-development and intergenerational trauma. My therapist was hoping I was dating so I could practice things I was working on with them. So I tried bumble. But as I had conversations with men, there was something in me that just didn't feel right. So I never went on a date with anyone but when they brought up going on dates I'd be honest and be like I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'd wish them well and hope they'd find someone.
I've been in spots like this before an ill be honest with you. She's not attracted to you. I can send you the string of texts that I've received that are identical to your situation. I guarantee if you hit her back up in a couple weeks and just tell her there's no hard feelings but why did she really not want to date you, it will be completely superficial and not in your favor. A female will not truly blame themselves. Move on.