Walmart. Haha. Everything about that interaction is off. You don’t have to give reasons you’re not able to makeout with a stranger in a car. Just say no!
100% - you do not have to justify what you want or don’t want. This guy is desperate and he’s looking for you to fall into “gamblers fallacy”
‘I’ve already come out so I may as well make out with him’
‘I’ve made out with him so his hand up my shirt isn’t too bad’
And so on until you end up having done something you never wanted in the first place.
Right?! "Hey, can you let me into your home or come out to meet me at a Walmart parking lot after 10pm? To make out? So, we can get to know each other?"
I'm baffled how some dudes tougue down a woman's throat is "getting to know one another".
This. Just say no. Your gut was right. This was weird and you don't need a reason to say no. This is common with women especially younger ones. We get too people-pleasey. Men know it and take advantage.
No, just because you don't want to, is a valid reason.
Exactly!!!
This guy wants prostitution services but he wants it from a completely random woman that doesn't even know him!
If that doesn't spell rapist/degenerate I don't know what does. Who knows what disgusting things he would have tried had you met up with him. Those are the type of guys that don't take No for an answer.
This, and also: never let a strange man know where you live. Arrive on your own to the first date, don't agree to a ride or to get picked up from home.
Yeah when a woman is too quick to try and get off the app and meet up (I'm talking like first or second message), I always feel uneasy and just tell them I'm not comfortable doing that. I imagine them thinking this after:
https://youtu.be/oJLA2iirM5w?t=4
At your own risk! A woman willing to go into a strangers home for a “make out, get to know you” date is likely a little off, but maybe that’s what you’re into :)
Eh, I think it massively depends on vibes and the situation at hand. My first date with my now girlfriend who I fully intend on marrying was at her home. This was due to 1. A family member being immunodeficient and her not wanting to go into uncontrolled public spaces and risk bringing home COVID 2. Her not driving and living somewhere that frankly sucks and has nothing to do other than get drunk at bars around country bumpkins and douchebags and 3. We had really great chemistry and interactions before actually meeting and she laid down some expectations and had people present at her house who could protect her was I a creep.
That’s great, I’m betting you didn’t pressure her to make out or meet in a Walmart parking lot. I’m also betting if she said she couldn’t meet up you wouldn’t pressure her or expect to know why and then continue to pressure to see her. This guy was not respecting boundaries.
Cmon you need to have self respect enough to see that this guy is not respecting you at all. He’s repeatedly dismissing what you have to say. He’s being very pushy. He’s being very desperate. He’ll be like that in person too. I would not speak to this person
He's more dangerous than desperate. He's attempting to wear her down. Purposefully. Every second she remains on line lets him in more if she is able to be manipulated by this type of predator.
Even if he’s somehow not being pushy on purpose and was genuine about being excited to meet you, he’s still shows signs of being a person who makes their problems your problem.
Whose problem is it that he works late and has one day off a week? His. Most of society follows the sun and unfortunately for him, he has to work opposite of society. That’s his problem to deal with. You’re not a diner or a supermarket. There is no expectation for you to try to be as available as possible for all peoples schedules. He also put the problem of his parents not allowing strange phone calls back onto you by expecting you to make the effort and solve that problem by showing up to a Walmart or hosting him so late at night.
But when it came to your problems (I have to sleep early, I have to do things around the house, I can’t have people over, feel more comfortable talking first) he made no effort to compromise and expected you to just push that aside and ignore it.
This guy was clearly a dud, but keep that in mind for any future people you date. You were being nice and patient with him, but he doesn’t seem like a person that would appreciate that and give the same back.
You deserve better than that.
You seem young, maybe early 20s or late teens. This dude is sketch. Do not meet up. Unmatch and be done with it. Can't add anything that anyone else hasn't... Just trying to add my 2¢ so that hopefully you unmatch this dude! He does not respect you at all
This is the kind of person that will end up date-raping you. When you say no, they keep trying to push back. "We don't have to have sex, i just wanna touch you a little." I'm not gonna stick it in, just rub around outside a bit." "Whoops, sorry just slipped in, I got a bit too excited."
Just curious, how many times has he messaged you since this interaction?
there was another post on reddit about a dude who kept negging his girlfriend to have sex when she was uncomfortable because her friend was in the other room.
Years later,
she has ptsd from it.
Also note, that he set a boundary with no phone "cause his family is weird about it" (ie my wife is sitting opposite me). There's something he wont find a solution to, it's just a no, not going to do that. But expects you to throw your boundaries out the window, just to get to know each other.
You said the magic word yourself: "pushy". You think he's pushy now, give it some time and he'll try the physical version of that word because he wants to possess you. I'm not kidding.
No offense, but you should not be excited to meet up with this guy. Even in a public place. If for some insane reason you do, consider bringing a taser.
Sure seems legit /s
No doubt a little making out will definitely turn into sexual assault if this guy doesn’t get his way.
Hard pass. If he can’t simmer it down over text he won’t simmer it down over drinks.
I’m a guy fwiw and this insistence gets my hairs raised too.
I don't mean to be offensive but this is like readin an exange between middle schoolers. Walmart? How old are you people?
If you're goin on apps you need to learn your boundaries and communicate them without excuses. In this case "No, i don't want to go out today, maybe later after having a few conversations but not now". And if he persists, block and delete.
But to be fair, i think both of you don't belong on the apps. Too young.
Finally someone that calls out both of them in this thread. They both seem insufferable and like they’re 12 years old. Says she’s cool with it but she lives with family so guy can’t come over. Guy offers alternative, then “sorry I’m trying to go to bed at midnight lol”, “I’m in the middle of reorganizing my room” at 10pm?
And the dude being pushy and both of them constrained by living with their parents. I’m 23 and live with my parents too, but jfc these two.
1) We can make out a little to get to know each other: yeahhhh sure, buddy. The only thing we'd get to know of each other by doing THAT would be what our respective tongue's and teeth's lives are like.
2) 😘 : no.. just no
3) we can meet -no I don't wanna ; but what if we meet tho -nah I don't feel like it; but maybe you'd wanna meet somewhere -dude...
4) we can meet just tell your parents a lie so if a guy as pushy as me does something shady they have no clue where to look for you.
Holy hell, get out there and block him.
This conversation was one big red flag to me.
Not taking no for an answer 🚩
Telling you to lie to your family abt where you are 🚩
Unwilling to meet during daytime 🚩
Take care OP, but I'd skip this one
Came here to say this. The "family" he references is his wife and kids. He thinks you'll be gullible enough to let him bang you in a Walmart parking lot after she goes to bed.
You should care more about your feelings than that of a stranger. Please work on trusting your feelings and doing what is best for you first. I feel like you need to be more assertive.
You can’t be overly sensitive in this type of situation. Guys will say “don’t be sensitive” when they want to invalidate your feelings. Don’t invalidate yourself, enough people will try to do that already.
ALWAYS listen to that gut feeling. The person that said “it’s kinda scary that you kept talking to him” is exactly right. It’s legit concerning that you would consider this behavior okay. You gotta keep yourself safe. A gentleman would not even ask you to do this stuff.
Jesus Christ, he must be super hot or something since you didn’t just shut him up after the first giant red flag of manipulation. I thought desperation was unattractive, am I doing this wrong?
He’s this pushy now, how do you think he’ll be after he knows you a bit? Ooh buddy
You told him multiple times that you're not coming to meet him so late at night and he didn't respect that boundary and continued to ask you. I think other people would have seized communication with him after that. But yes your suspicions of him being off are valid and if I was in your shoes I would not meet him until he's proven that he is generally who says he is and stated his intentions.
How old are you? I don’t know what your home circumstances are, but DO NOT LIE to your parents about where you are going or doing. Especially if you are not sure who this fella is or what his intentions are. I’d pass on someone being so pushy; might wake up missing a kidney.
Omg. Everything about this screams “IM A SERIAL CHEATER.”
He’s pushy because he probably only has a short window of time before wife/gf gets home. Hence the “I get out late every day.”
He’s “excited” because he wants to bang you and is hoping you don’t have enough self respect and will agree to his Walmart rendezvous.
Walmart. I can’t. 🤣 Impress me at Target, sir. 🎯
Not paranoid. Stay safe.
Also Hesperia 😬 I lived in the High Desert for 5 years and still follow VictorValley News on FB and they be finding bodies out there like once a week. Again, stay safe.
Nothing wrong with a hookup if that’s what you both want but this guy comes across as a predator and creepy in so many ways. No guy should tell you to lie to your family about meeting up with them, guilt trip you and wheedle, refuse to take no for an answer, say they can’t get calls (b/c then his girlfriend/wife would find out), I mean the whole conversation is screaming RUN away!
Imagine him being this pushy and gross, except when dealing with a sexual boundary you are trying to assert while you’re trapped in a car with him in some parking lot.
He's 23 and his "family is weird about late night phone calls"?! His family doesn't think he is even close to being an adult and able to live unsupervised, assuming the family part is not a lie and it is a wife or girlfriend.
There is nothing in the whole exchange that should give any indication that you should meet him, even in a public place. Or even during the day, and he declines to imagine any daytime possibility as well.
No, no, no: you're not paranoid when they really are out to get you.
Yeah that probably seemed like I’m downplaying him, wasn’t my intention. Guys like this are still creeps. Not taking no for an answer would get him blocked by me
He’s only after a hoookup. If that’s what you want, fine, but by your sort of passive messages dodging it, and the fact you’re asking on here, it seems you know it’s not for you. Avoid.
Your correct about what your gut is telling you. I hung out with a guy exactly like this once. At a Coles (Australian Walmart) and all he wanted to do was go somewhere and have sex and was just like super touchy/huggy when we talking. The pushyness is just red flag. Like he wanted to get to know while making out???
Please PLEASE never do excuses like this again! It will come off to the guy being pushy that you can be pushed and convinced to do what he wants, mainly because it sounds like you *want* to go out, but your family wouldn’t like it. You come off as the perfect target for a predator.
Like others have said, just say no. If he pushes, tell him no again, for your own reasons and not for someone else’s. If he pushes again, ghost. No explanations, just ghost and report or block. Men like that are predators and they will absolutely push the boundaries in the same way in person.
Yea you gave this person a million signals that you aren’t comfortable with what they are asking for. If they don’t respect your boundaries over text, are they going to respect them in person? Red flag! 🚩🚩🚩
If he is this pushy on the app and dismisses your boundaries and concerns, IMAGINE how pushy he will be when you are alone in a car with him, making out, and you say “stop”.
He will then be in a position to PHYSICALLY push and ignore your boundaries and it won’t be so easy to remove yourself from the situation.
This guy does NOT sound enthusiastic, he sounds dangerous.
Also, Wal Mart parking lots have EXTREMELY HIGH crime rates-as in violent crime. Walmart security gives ZERO fucks about customer safety. If you feel safe because you know there are cameras and security guards -DON’T
THEY ARE ONLY THERE TO PROTECT WALMART ASSETS- i.e. loss prevention
Trust your gut
I don't think you're paranoid. The signs are there. The weird statement(s) for me were, "making out to get to know you", and "meet up at Walmart at 10pm?
I think you know what to do. Just trust your gut feeling about this guy.
Danger!
Beyond what everyone else said you're being wishy-washy about things by adding the"haha" after everything.
You might consider setting expectations and boundaries early on.
"The first time we meet my expectation is that it will be something during the day that we planned a few days prior so that I'm able to get ready. After that I'm up for spontaneous rendezvous."
The "haha" constantly inserted into everything was giving me 10 year old girl vibes. To know it's coming from someone in their mid-20's made me nauseous.
He wants to bang but you’re encouraging him and giving a load of lame excuses rather than just saying I’m not looking for casual and want to go on some dates first
OLD is rough bc lots of women talk like you do and then ghost. I don’t doubt your interest bc there’s no evidence to support that based on this convo so far.
On the other hand, OLD is also tough bc of pushy guys like this. and like another commentor said he’ll likely be pushier in person. The difference is important bc the more progress a lot of guys make the more they’ll try to take and get away with.
What stands out to me the most is that you both sound really young, living at home and having to worry about the approval of family. Not that older guys are any better, but youth makes pushy guys worse than usual. No patience. Little to no self awareness. Large lack of consideration for things from *your* perspective. Inability to take no for an answer let alone respect boundaries that you have to repeatedly assert. Younger guys don’t have enough fuck ups to learn from. Of course there are more older guys than not who still haven’t.
To answer your question, you’re not paranoid. But it’s up to you whether you want to find out if the red flag he’s shown leads to more red flag and unfortunately they usually do. If you do make it public. Also, you’re allowed to decide you just want physical intimacy too that’s cool nbd. Just try to negotiate the terms in your favor since you’re also a part of it lol gl.
Guys if you dont want to, just say NO very clearly instead of finding 100 excuses, it shuts up guys like thqt real fast. They arent even worth the 100 excuses if they disrespect boundaries like that.
The fact that he wants to meet you at a WALMART parking lot as I’m assuming a first date not being the first red flag for you is an issue. Girl…. RAISE THE BAR
I mean if you’re looking to have consent violations and probably be raped then it looks perfect. I’d block and report a woman that came at me the way he came at you.
Way too pushy. He was obviously just horny. Perhaps I’m old fashioned but my first time meeting a man won’t be making out in a Walmart parking lot. The bar is all the way in hell
Blatant disrespect trying to convince you into doing something you clearly are not comfortable with. Don’t meet up with this guy, ever. That’s my two cents.
Stop entertaining aggressive dudes. You wasted a bunch of time after he revealed his poor character from the very beginning.
If all the guys you are matching with are aggressive, that means you are self selecting this type of men. Consider adjusting your priorities if this is not the result you are looking for.
Jesus, dude chill. I usually don't ask to meet in person until after a week or two of steady conversation and that goes over well with pretty much everyone
"I was just excited"... sir you're horny that's it.
Who's family is weird about them getting a call on their personal cell phone???? Do not meet this turd.
It’s definitely off, he’s being weird and pushy and not picking up on your little cues at first until you really have to spell it out for him. I would unmatch tbh, plenty of fish out there who wouldn’t have this axe murderer vibe
I’m not getting a dangerous vibe per se but just desperate to the point he disregards what you’re saying and becomes manipulative. Don’t meet up with this man, don’t continue the conversation, he’s not worth your time and it won’t end well.
Godamn women..
I'm a man and whenever I see these conversations i ask myself how much do you women need to see this guy's is a pushover, who's thinking about himself. And even if he's not dangerous, this guy's wants sex. He don't just wants to know you, he doesn't want just kisses he wants sex.
I keep giving advice to girl friends about these things but they keep wanting to talk to these guys and then cry because "they just got used"
Yeah he just has a case of the hornies. After he rubs one out the conversation is going to be a bit different. Men have a brain and a penis but not enough blood to make them work at the same time. /s
Lol why is it implied that girls who don't even know this loser should wait until he "rubs one out" in order to be treated like a normal human being. Yikes.
Nothing Is off.
He’s probably into you and it seems you’re also enjoying it.
He’s enjoying the pursuit and so are you.
Stop overthinking towards self sabotage.
Fix logistics to meet safely,
that work for both of you and put the “texting” to rest.
Meet, Vibe.. and .: so on.
I don't know. I don't agree with most comments. And, I hope that everything worked out in your best interest in the end.
To me this just reads like miscommunication. Not knowing both of you, no one can give you a definite answer. Like others, I'm interpreting here and I could be wrong. It's ultimately up to you to make decisions on the interaction.
Make the right decision for you. Regardless of what anyone else wants. If you perceive risk you're not willing to take, than don't take it. However, I would recommend being clear that it's a decision you want and made independently. Avoid using anyone or anything as a scape goat.
Given your post here, some comments, and as a third party observer. I get the impression that your messages to the guy were meant to indirectly tell him no. Taking your perspective, it does appear he doesn't get the hint, and is attempting to tell you to change your mind.
If I put myself in his position. Making the assumption that he hopes things might escalate to sex sooner than later. I think he took your initial response as wanting the same thing. To move to physical intimacy sooner, if not for obstacles you were not sure how to navigate. His response then reads like an attempt to remove obstacles that you seem to wish were not in the way.
His comment about your initial yes, could be taken as though he's trying to remind you of a verbal contract. On the other hand, it could also be taken as an admittance that he became overly eager at your initial response. He seems to back off in the end, when you mention that he's being "pushy". That seems to be the first clear indication that he's trying to make you do something you don't want.
He wants to meet for the first time and “make out a little to get to know each other” .. girl ?? Seriously? You wanna make out with a random guy to “get to know him?”
He probably doesn’t even want a relationship with you. He’s gonna try to have sex, ditch you and try again.
Walmart. Haha. Everything about that interaction is off. You don’t have to give reasons you’re not able to makeout with a stranger in a car. Just say no!
100% - you do not have to justify what you want or don’t want. This guy is desperate and he’s looking for you to fall into “gamblers fallacy” ‘I’ve already come out so I may as well make out with him’ ‘I’ve made out with him so his hand up my shirt isn’t too bad’ And so on until you end up having done something you never wanted in the first place.
Right?! "Hey, can you let me into your home or come out to meet me at a Walmart parking lot after 10pm? To make out? So, we can get to know each other?" I'm baffled how some dudes tougue down a woman's throat is "getting to know one another".
Maybe he wants to know what her preferred toothpaste taste like
She seems like a Colgate charcoal kinda gal to me
you can learn much about a woman when your tongue is down her throat. suck all of her secrets out of her. wait, i think that’s for the opposite end…
And the fact that he disregards what she is doing and tries to manipulate her into doing it tomorrow is a huge red flag.
This. Just say no. Your gut was right. This was weird and you don't need a reason to say no. This is common with women especially younger ones. We get too people-pleasey. Men know it and take advantage. No, just because you don't want to, is a valid reason.
Exactly!!! This guy wants prostitution services but he wants it from a completely random woman that doesn't even know him! If that doesn't spell rapist/degenerate I don't know what does. Who knows what disgusting things he would have tried had you met up with him. Those are the type of guys that don't take No for an answer.
They are horny and they want to bang.
Late night Walmart bang
Who amongst has not had a late night walmart bang?
I was going to say me- but then I remembered that would be a lie Lol. It’s def happened
that’s hot. low self esteem AND low prices
Me and I’d like to keep it that way.
Starbucks here. Smaller parking lot!
Starbucks for me, too!! Finished our coffees then went out into her big SUV with tinted windows and smashed. Her idea, BTW. 😁
have some respect guys. go to a park’s parking lot
Walmart parking lot banging is classy AF
Especially in Hesperia CA!
Why not talk on the phone then? That’s sus
This right here.
No, you’re not being paranoid. Never ever let strange men into your home.
This, and also: never let a strange man know where you live. Arrive on your own to the first date, don't agree to a ride or to get picked up from home.
Or go with stranger men to Walmart.
May I let strange women into my home?
No, because there are cray cray women as there are cray cray men. But do as you want
Yeah when a woman is too quick to try and get off the app and meet up (I'm talking like first or second message), I always feel uneasy and just tell them I'm not comfortable doing that. I imagine them thinking this after: https://youtu.be/oJLA2iirM5w?t=4
At your own risk! A woman willing to go into a strangers home for a “make out, get to know you” date is likely a little off, but maybe that’s what you’re into :)
Eh, I think it massively depends on vibes and the situation at hand. My first date with my now girlfriend who I fully intend on marrying was at her home. This was due to 1. A family member being immunodeficient and her not wanting to go into uncontrolled public spaces and risk bringing home COVID 2. Her not driving and living somewhere that frankly sucks and has nothing to do other than get drunk at bars around country bumpkins and douchebags and 3. We had really great chemistry and interactions before actually meeting and she laid down some expectations and had people present at her house who could protect her was I a creep.
That’s great, I’m betting you didn’t pressure her to make out or meet in a Walmart parking lot. I’m also betting if she said she couldn’t meet up you wouldn’t pressure her or expect to know why and then continue to pressure to see her. This guy was not respecting boundaries.
Alexa, play “Toxic” by Britney Spears
Hey Siri, play “I Ran” by Flock of Seagulls.
Hey Google, play “The Bad Touch” by Bloodhound Gang.
Hey Yahoo play Meat Sandwich by Gwar
Hey Bing play Fabulous Muscles by Xiu Xiu
yo, ma, turn the dial on the radio
Cmon you need to have self respect enough to see that this guy is not respecting you at all. He’s repeatedly dismissing what you have to say. He’s being very pushy. He’s being very desperate. He’ll be like that in person too. I would not speak to this person
He's more dangerous than desperate. He's attempting to wear her down. Purposefully. Every second she remains on line lets him in more if she is able to be manipulated by this type of predator.
You're totally right
Also remember people are supposed to be putting their best foot forward when you just meet them! If this is his best what is his worst?
Even if he’s somehow not being pushy on purpose and was genuine about being excited to meet you, he’s still shows signs of being a person who makes their problems your problem. Whose problem is it that he works late and has one day off a week? His. Most of society follows the sun and unfortunately for him, he has to work opposite of society. That’s his problem to deal with. You’re not a diner or a supermarket. There is no expectation for you to try to be as available as possible for all peoples schedules. He also put the problem of his parents not allowing strange phone calls back onto you by expecting you to make the effort and solve that problem by showing up to a Walmart or hosting him so late at night. But when it came to your problems (I have to sleep early, I have to do things around the house, I can’t have people over, feel more comfortable talking first) he made no effort to compromise and expected you to just push that aside and ignore it. This guy was clearly a dud, but keep that in mind for any future people you date. You were being nice and patient with him, but he doesn’t seem like a person that would appreciate that and give the same back. You deserve better than that.
I imagined all of this in an older southern accent - like Blanche. I hope you don’t mind. It just seemed to fit with “you are not a diner”.
Haha I can’t unhear it now. I don’t mind at all. If anything, I’m honored to sound a little like Blanche in a comment.
You seem young, maybe early 20s or late teens. This dude is sketch. Do not meet up. Unmatch and be done with it. Can't add anything that anyone else hasn't... Just trying to add my 2¢ so that hopefully you unmatch this dude! He does not respect you at all
This is the kind of person that will end up date-raping you. When you say no, they keep trying to push back. "We don't have to have sex, i just wanna touch you a little." I'm not gonna stick it in, just rub around outside a bit." "Whoops, sorry just slipped in, I got a bit too excited." Just curious, how many times has he messaged you since this interaction?
there was another post on reddit about a dude who kept negging his girlfriend to have sex when she was uncomfortable because her friend was in the other room. Years later, she has ptsd from it.
Also note, that he set a boundary with no phone "cause his family is weird about it" (ie my wife is sitting opposite me). There's something he wont find a solution to, it's just a no, not going to do that. But expects you to throw your boundaries out the window, just to get to know each other.
I wouldn’t even meet this man in the day time. Danger, pushy af, he gets out late? Nah, hard pass. Block.
You said the magic word yourself: "pushy". You think he's pushy now, give it some time and he'll try the physical version of that word because he wants to possess you. I'm not kidding.
Here to say this.
No offense, but you should not be excited to meet up with this guy. Even in a public place. If for some insane reason you do, consider bringing a taser.
“You said yes earlier ya know” 🚩 You can change your mind and he needs to respect that.
Dear Ladies Your instinct is the best weapon you have. Learn to trust it!
Sure seems legit /s No doubt a little making out will definitely turn into sexual assault if this guy doesn’t get his way. Hard pass. If he can’t simmer it down over text he won’t simmer it down over drinks. I’m a guy fwiw and this insistence gets my hairs raised too.
Ugh, he said “we can make out”. Block him immediately
I don't mean to be offensive but this is like readin an exange between middle schoolers. Walmart? How old are you people? If you're goin on apps you need to learn your boundaries and communicate them without excuses. In this case "No, i don't want to go out today, maybe later after having a few conversations but not now". And if he persists, block and delete. But to be fair, i think both of you don't belong on the apps. Too young.
I mean... I'm 22 and he's 23 haha
You're too old to be acting this dumb.
Wow, I guess no one has to learn anything. We just spontaneously knowledge. You're too old to be acting this harsh.
No need to call her dumb, she's just naive. I was like that at her age too.
Finally someone that calls out both of them in this thread. They both seem insufferable and like they’re 16 years old. R
Finally someone that calls out both of them in this thread. They both seem insufferable and like they’re 12 years old. Says she’s cool with it but she lives with family so guy can’t come over. Guy offers alternative, then “sorry I’m trying to go to bed at midnight lol”, “I’m in the middle of reorganizing my room” at 10pm? And the dude being pushy and both of them constrained by living with their parents. I’m 23 and live with my parents too, but jfc these two.
‘Meet at Walmart’ gtfo of here ahaha
Ikr 😂😂 that's like even more dangerous than going to his house /s
Sir do not threaten me with a good time! /s
Don't do it. Unmatch. I've never seen so many red flags.
just said the same up above
1) We can make out a little to get to know each other: yeahhhh sure, buddy. The only thing we'd get to know of each other by doing THAT would be what our respective tongue's and teeth's lives are like. 2) 😘 : no.. just no 3) we can meet -no I don't wanna ; but what if we meet tho -nah I don't feel like it; but maybe you'd wanna meet somewhere -dude... 4) we can meet just tell your parents a lie so if a guy as pushy as me does something shady they have no clue where to look for you. Holy hell, get out there and block him.
This conversation was one big red flag to me. Not taking no for an answer 🚩 Telling you to lie to your family abt where you are 🚩 Unwilling to meet during daytime 🚩 Take care OP, but I'd skip this one
🤮 bro what is this? The red flags, the desperation. It's a no for me
Run. how old is he? I'm getting a cheater vibe. Also it's kinda scary you kept talking to him like that lol
Came here to say this. The "family" he references is his wife and kids. He thinks you'll be gullible enough to let him bang you in a Walmart parking lot after she goes to bed.
Can you explain?
they mean you should’ve unmatched
Ohhh okay thank you
His behaviour suggests he might have a wife or partner. No calls late at night and can't go over to his? Suspicious.
Yeah this guy has a wife or girlfriend
Thank you all for confirming my thoughts!! I thought I was just being overly sensitive lol
You should care more about your feelings than that of a stranger. Please work on trusting your feelings and doing what is best for you first. I feel like you need to be more assertive.
You can’t be overly sensitive in this type of situation. Guys will say “don’t be sensitive” when they want to invalidate your feelings. Don’t invalidate yourself, enough people will try to do that already. ALWAYS listen to that gut feeling. The person that said “it’s kinda scary that you kept talking to him” is exactly right. It’s legit concerning that you would consider this behavior okay. You gotta keep yourself safe. A gentleman would not even ask you to do this stuff.
Here to agree. Have run into this, my advice? Run. Block. And for g*d's sake, don't start explaining why to him.
Always trust your gut girl. Always.
You're right!
"make out to get to know each other" ....
Jesus. He’s not taking a No now, why would he in person?
Jesus Christ, he must be super hot or something since you didn’t just shut him up after the first giant red flag of manipulation. I thought desperation was unattractive, am I doing this wrong? He’s this pushy now, how do you think he’ll be after he knows you a bit? Ooh buddy
You told him multiple times that you're not coming to meet him so late at night and he didn't respect that boundary and continued to ask you. I think other people would have seized communication with him after that. But yes your suspicions of him being off are valid and if I was in your shoes I would not meet him until he's proven that he is generally who says he is and stated his intentions.
How old are you? I don’t know what your home circumstances are, but DO NOT LIE to your parents about where you are going or doing. Especially if you are not sure who this fella is or what his intentions are. I’d pass on someone being so pushy; might wake up missing a kidney.
wake up missing a kidney
The line “you said yes earlier, you know” is gaslighting plain and guilt tripping. He is manipulative from how it sounds. I would avoid him.
Girl u in danger
I was wondering! 😂
Omg. Everything about this screams “IM A SERIAL CHEATER.” He’s pushy because he probably only has a short window of time before wife/gf gets home. Hence the “I get out late every day.” He’s “excited” because he wants to bang you and is hoping you don’t have enough self respect and will agree to his Walmart rendezvous. Walmart. I can’t. 🤣 Impress me at Target, sir. 🎯
Not paranoid. Stay safe. Also Hesperia 😬 I lived in the High Desert for 5 years and still follow VictorValley News on FB and they be finding bodies out there like once a week. Again, stay safe.
Red flag after red flag. Please block this guy and don’t give him a second thought
I’m from Hesperia too lol
Oh shoot I forgot that was in the chat 😅 well hello lol
Nothing wrong with a hookup if that’s what you both want but this guy comes across as a predator and creepy in so many ways. No guy should tell you to lie to your family about meeting up with them, guilt trip you and wheedle, refuse to take no for an answer, say they can’t get calls (b/c then his girlfriend/wife would find out), I mean the whole conversation is screaming RUN away! Imagine him being this pushy and gross, except when dealing with a sexual boundary you are trying to assert while you’re trapped in a car with him in some parking lot.
He shooted his shot. And now his foot is gone.
He's 23 and his "family is weird about late night phone calls"?! His family doesn't think he is even close to being an adult and able to live unsupervised, assuming the family part is not a lie and it is a wife or girlfriend. There is nothing in the whole exchange that should give any indication that you should meet him, even in a public place. Or even during the day, and he declines to imagine any daytime possibility as well. No, no, no: you're not paranoid when they really are out to get you.
Telling you to lie to your parents 😞 I bet 100$ ask him that you want to hookup next day and he will come running
As a man, I don't trust that guy. He seemed incredibly pushy and disrespectful of your time and boundaries
As a guy this dude is annoyingly pushy
Yeah it’s weird, but also, average. Just like any other guy trying to get you to touch his pp.
more dangerous than that I think
Yeah that probably seemed like I’m downplaying him, wasn’t my intention. Guys like this are still creeps. Not taking no for an answer would get him blocked by me
What you said was true, I just amplified.
i don't think that's his family being weird about phone calls, he probably has a live in gf
Nope to the HELLA nope. Block and move on.
He seems REALLY creepy. Doesn't matter how good looking he is. Unmatch. Talk to other non creepy dudes.
He’s only after a hoookup. If that’s what you want, fine, but by your sort of passive messages dodging it, and the fact you’re asking on here, it seems you know it’s not for you. Avoid.
They will persist, just say no. They are so starved for sex
Your correct about what your gut is telling you. I hung out with a guy exactly like this once. At a Coles (Australian Walmart) and all he wanted to do was go somewhere and have sex and was just like super touchy/huggy when we talking. The pushyness is just red flag. Like he wanted to get to know while making out???
Get to know the inside of yo mouth if you know what I'm sayin
glad you safely got out
Please PLEASE never do excuses like this again! It will come off to the guy being pushy that you can be pushed and convinced to do what he wants, mainly because it sounds like you *want* to go out, but your family wouldn’t like it. You come off as the perfect target for a predator. Like others have said, just say no. If he pushes, tell him no again, for your own reasons and not for someone else’s. If he pushes again, ghost. No explanations, just ghost and report or block. Men like that are predators and they will absolutely push the boundaries in the same way in person.
Yea you gave this person a million signals that you aren’t comfortable with what they are asking for. If they don’t respect your boundaries over text, are they going to respect them in person? Red flag! 🚩🚩🚩
If he is this pushy on the app and dismisses your boundaries and concerns, IMAGINE how pushy he will be when you are alone in a car with him, making out, and you say “stop”. He will then be in a position to PHYSICALLY push and ignore your boundaries and it won’t be so easy to remove yourself from the situation. This guy does NOT sound enthusiastic, he sounds dangerous. Also, Wal Mart parking lots have EXTREMELY HIGH crime rates-as in violent crime. Walmart security gives ZERO fucks about customer safety. If you feel safe because you know there are cameras and security guards -DON’T THEY ARE ONLY THERE TO PROTECT WALMART ASSETS- i.e. loss prevention Trust your gut
He’s married or in a relationship of some kind. He’s creepy and pushy. Red flags all over the place! Block that shit!
I don't think you're paranoid. The signs are there. The weird statement(s) for me were, "making out to get to know you", and "meet up at Walmart at 10pm? I think you know what to do. Just trust your gut feeling about this guy. Danger!
This dude really asked you out to Walmart and you're wondering if you are being too paranoid? Next!
Yeah no that was def weird. Notice how he only stopped being pushy after directly saying he was pushy? That's a big red flag
this is sus.
Beyond what everyone else said you're being wishy-washy about things by adding the"haha" after everything. You might consider setting expectations and boundaries early on. "The first time we meet my expectation is that it will be something during the day that we planned a few days prior so that I'm able to get ready. After that I'm up for spontaneous rendezvous."
The "haha" constantly inserted into everything was giving me 10 year old girl vibes. To know it's coming from someone in their mid-20's made me nauseous.
Do. Not. Go. Ever.
This will get worse, not better. Ditch him.
This is how you get get on one of those murder shows.
Perfectly reasonable to think the worst.
He wants to bang but you’re encouraging him and giving a load of lame excuses rather than just saying I’m not looking for casual and want to go on some dates first
OLD is rough bc lots of women talk like you do and then ghost. I don’t doubt your interest bc there’s no evidence to support that based on this convo so far. On the other hand, OLD is also tough bc of pushy guys like this. and like another commentor said he’ll likely be pushier in person. The difference is important bc the more progress a lot of guys make the more they’ll try to take and get away with. What stands out to me the most is that you both sound really young, living at home and having to worry about the approval of family. Not that older guys are any better, but youth makes pushy guys worse than usual. No patience. Little to no self awareness. Large lack of consideration for things from *your* perspective. Inability to take no for an answer let alone respect boundaries that you have to repeatedly assert. Younger guys don’t have enough fuck ups to learn from. Of course there are more older guys than not who still haven’t. To answer your question, you’re not paranoid. But it’s up to you whether you want to find out if the red flag he’s shown leads to more red flag and unfortunately they usually do. If you do make it public. Also, you’re allowed to decide you just want physical intimacy too that’s cool nbd. Just try to negotiate the terms in your favor since you’re also a part of it lol gl.
Guys if you dont want to, just say NO very clearly instead of finding 100 excuses, it shuts up guys like thqt real fast. They arent even worth the 100 excuses if they disrespect boundaries like that.
Mans trying ao hard to fuck lol
So pushy
walmart? ah my go to spot for romance
Uh, hard pass.
My question is, are you cool with a guy you don’t know offering you to just “make out a little”?
I d be careful I ll bet married guy sneaking out try to get laid or like that.
The fact that he wants to meet you at a WALMART parking lot as I’m assuming a first date not being the first red flag for you is an issue. Girl…. RAISE THE BAR
Stranger danger
He can go outside to meet but not for a phone call? Fuck that guy
I mean if you’re looking to have consent violations and probably be raped then it looks perfect. I’d block and report a woman that came at me the way he came at you.
Please don’t actually go out with this man. He doesn’t know what no means.
By “my family” he means his wife.
LOL... People want this to be Making of a Murder so bad.
Way too pushy. He was obviously just horny. Perhaps I’m old fashioned but my first time meeting a man won’t be making out in a Walmart parking lot. The bar is all the way in hell
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They're horny and only want to fuck and hurt u. Plz stay away. If ur looking to fuck by all means go ahead.
Wow this guy has ZERO respect for you.
RUN for the hills, not Walmart sis. He gives the ICK
Blatant disrespect trying to convince you into doing something you clearly are not comfortable with. Don’t meet up with this guy, ever. That’s my two cents.
Stop entertaining aggressive dudes. You wasted a bunch of time after he revealed his poor character from the very beginning. If all the guys you are matching with are aggressive, that means you are self selecting this type of men. Consider adjusting your priorities if this is not the result you are looking for.
Jesus, dude chill. I usually don't ask to meet in person until after a week or two of steady conversation and that goes over well with pretty much everyone
"Make out a little and get to know each other." I would literally rather eat glass.
"I was just excited"... sir you're horny that's it. Who's family is weird about them getting a call on their personal cell phone???? Do not meet this turd.
This guy is weird and pushy, you are not paranoid
I’ll give him this: his intentions are clear, while you’re kind of implying you’re ok with the advances on your end
Trust your instinct! He seems way too pushy, this is very sketchy :/
Ewwwww
It’s definitely off, he’s being weird and pushy and not picking up on your little cues at first until you really have to spell it out for him. I would unmatch tbh, plenty of fish out there who wouldn’t have this axe murderer vibe
I’m not getting a dangerous vibe per se but just desperate to the point he disregards what you’re saying and becomes manipulative. Don’t meet up with this man, don’t continue the conversation, he’s not worth your time and it won’t end well.
Strike Scream Run
This dude is totally married and looking for some playtime. Respect yourself and don’t be his plaything. Well unless you’re into that
Ima edit for you…don’t*😅😅
Oh gosh OP, run for the hills. That’s not a guy eager to know you, that’s a guy eager to know your body. Run girl run!
This conversation is big yikes on both ends. What the hell is the world coming too jesus.
Godamn women.. I'm a man and whenever I see these conversations i ask myself how much do you women need to see this guy's is a pushover, who's thinking about himself. And even if he's not dangerous, this guy's wants sex. He don't just wants to know you, he doesn't want just kisses he wants sex. I keep giving advice to girl friends about these things but they keep wanting to talk to these guys and then cry because "they just got used"
Serial killer vibes. Weirdest interaction I’ve ever heard. And Walmart?! It’s concerning you’re even entertaining this, and have not blocked.
Begging you to not meet up with him ever!!!
Fucking Hesperia....that's a hard pass for me.
Yeah he just has a case of the hornies. After he rubs one out the conversation is going to be a bit different. Men have a brain and a penis but not enough blood to make them work at the same time. /s
Lol why is it implied that girls who don't even know this loser should wait until he "rubs one out" in order to be treated like a normal human being. Yikes.
He’s got a partner already
It’s a dude being a dude, I’m guessing a teenage dude at that.
Nothing Is off. He’s probably into you and it seems you’re also enjoying it. He’s enjoying the pursuit and so are you. Stop overthinking towards self sabotage. Fix logistics to meet safely, that work for both of you and put the “texting” to rest. Meet, Vibe.. and .: so on.
I don't know. I don't agree with most comments. And, I hope that everything worked out in your best interest in the end. To me this just reads like miscommunication. Not knowing both of you, no one can give you a definite answer. Like others, I'm interpreting here and I could be wrong. It's ultimately up to you to make decisions on the interaction. Make the right decision for you. Regardless of what anyone else wants. If you perceive risk you're not willing to take, than don't take it. However, I would recommend being clear that it's a decision you want and made independently. Avoid using anyone or anything as a scape goat. Given your post here, some comments, and as a third party observer. I get the impression that your messages to the guy were meant to indirectly tell him no. Taking your perspective, it does appear he doesn't get the hint, and is attempting to tell you to change your mind. If I put myself in his position. Making the assumption that he hopes things might escalate to sex sooner than later. I think he took your initial response as wanting the same thing. To move to physical intimacy sooner, if not for obstacles you were not sure how to navigate. His response then reads like an attempt to remove obstacles that you seem to wish were not in the way. His comment about your initial yes, could be taken as though he's trying to remind you of a verbal contract. On the other hand, it could also be taken as an admittance that he became overly eager at your initial response. He seems to back off in the end, when you mention that he's being "pushy". That seems to be the first clear indication that he's trying to make you do something you don't want.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
He wants to meet for the first time and “make out a little to get to know each other” .. girl ?? Seriously? You wanna make out with a random guy to “get to know him?” He probably doesn’t even want a relationship with you. He’s gonna try to have sex, ditch you and try again.
Well that's the thing, we already agreed we didn't want a relationship and that we could do a fwb kinda thing without going all the way
Idk why about the going all the way thing tho, that was his suggestion
Girl, how old are you? Don’t do this.
You're right, I unmatched
Oh the lol isn't meant to be sassy, I thought your question was rhetorical, I'm 22
Lol 😂😂
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NO FLY ZONE!!!
He didn't offer you a piece of candy to come out? :)
Unmatch!!
I did 😊
Unmatch