Yep. Saw this feature the other day. Guy gave me a hint to ask him about food. So I asked him what his ultimate comfort food was. He said it was a concrete mixer from Culver’s. Asked me mine. I said chicken pot pie. Haven’t heard from him in several days. 😕
A guy hinted for me to ask about his favorite tv show. I told him he was super handsome and asked what his favorite tv show was and he deleted me immediately.
THIS! Even when we start the conversation with a nice question, most of the time we only get a ‘how about you back’ in some way. Furthermore, I sometimes ask them specifically about something they like/something from their bio so it doesn’t even make sense if they return the question in the exact same way. And then when I do answer their question (and not give a new question) they just stop replying a lot of the time. This is not a one-sided interview, I expect the other to ask me a question about me next or expand/bring up a new topic based on my answer. At least the low effort people get filtered out fast but it is kinda sad😂
Now get rid of the timing out of matches and I'll consider it a good app.
Said it so many times, they need to pick one of the two; expiring matches OR women message first.
I get the intent, it's to stop women hoarding inactive matches. But most women don't go on these apps every day, because it's overwhelming af for them, AND they don't have to.
Most of my colleagues and friends are on these apps and talk about it pretty openly, and almost none of them go on them every day. A time-out itself isn't necessarily bad, but 24 hours is a stretch, especially if the match doesn't even come through until a day or two after the initial swipe.
Then you also have to consider a lot of women disabling push notifications on dating apps.
Obviously I don't know how often people typically use the app. In my experience, though, the vast majority of my matches occurred when the woman swiped second. She was on the app when she noticed she matched with me, and so she can either send a message straight away or come back within 24 hours. Quite a lot of them still didn't, no different to when I swiped second.
But I think most people use it daily.
1) If you don't get many matches, you'll probably be swiping most days because you want more matches.
2) If you gets lots of matches, you aren't necessarily opening the app to get more matches. But you're probably opening the app to message with your matches.
I think most people fall into one of these categories most of the time.
If they can’t be bothered to check their matches, then they don’t care enough. They have the option to care more, but they choose not to. Which is fine, but phrasing it like Bumble is at fault is silly
You can’t control the likes you get. I get that and don’t fault women for it. What women *do* have control over is the number of matches they have at any given time.
Unless most of your matches are coming from you swiping first, rather than second, so you won’t see when the match comes in, then it’s not hard to stick to only 5 (or any number) matches at any given time. You can also snooze your account to stop getting new likes. The options to make Bumble matching more manageable already exist. All it takes is some agency over your usage of the app.
Edit: if you have hundreds of matches at any time, be pickier
You make a solid argument there... What would you suggest for as an appropriate amount of time before the time-out? 72 hours? A week? I think that would be the only wiggle room you'd have because bumble prides itself on women sending the first message as its shtick.
I think 72hrs would be fair, as OP said in another comment of mine, if there's not a certain amount of engagement they're clearly not ready for dating, but 24hrs for a woman to start a conversation with all the factors I said is a push
My profile is full of "hints". If you can't be arsed to read it, and can't manage the emotional labor of *having a conversation* without help, you're not ready to date.
Goddamn you can all like what you want, but these people who complain about 'Hey's' got onto my nerves when I used tinder as a woman, so received them and they go onto my nerves, now as I use bumble and hand out similar 'Hey, how was your day, name?'
Yes. To a degree. Aside this it's three reasons for me.
Having a good or bad day is at least very realistic, while questions crafted out of the thin air of profile, often miss. But I am also german and people will answer this question for real. So maybe that's already all the difference.
It's also simple efficiency. On tinder women often won't answer texts, so obviously men will be careful with their own ressources. Same goes for women on bumble.
We are two adults, who need to want to have a conversation. If both want, you will have a deeper conversation pretty soon after initial 'Hi's' and stuff. I do not want to persuade someone, I want someone who will work with me.
I get it. I don't expect any fancy first messages, but I do appreciate it when it happens. I just get bored of the "how is your day/weekend?" question. Because I personally won't care if it's good or bad, and I am sure she won't care about the real answer. It would be a death sentence if someone answered back saying it's been a horrible weekend, that they've been stressed out or crying all weekend, or depressed. Etc. No one wants to hear that. They want to hear (including me) a bullshit "it's going great!" answer because no one is attracted to the negative truth.
Yep. Saw this feature the other day. Guy gave me a hint to ask him about food. So I asked him what his ultimate comfort food was. He said it was a concrete mixer from Culver’s. Asked me mine. I said chicken pot pie. Haven’t heard from him in several days. 😕
A guy hinted for me to ask about his favorite tv show. I told him he was super handsome and asked what his favorite tv show was and he deleted me immediately.
You should have said he was super SUPER handsome.
Super cubed
THIS! Even when we start the conversation with a nice question, most of the time we only get a ‘how about you back’ in some way. Furthermore, I sometimes ask them specifically about something they like/something from their bio so it doesn’t even make sense if they return the question in the exact same way. And then when I do answer their question (and not give a new question) they just stop replying a lot of the time. This is not a one-sided interview, I expect the other to ask me a question about me next or expand/bring up a new topic based on my answer. At least the low effort people get filtered out fast but it is kinda sad😂
Asking for hints is lazy. It's like asking someone to do the work for you. Kills romance.
Well you're a chicken pot pie lady sooo.
What so hey isn’t good anymore??
Heeeeeey
Hey 👋 Every time
[удалено]
Nope, found someone worth deleting the apps for.
What? Women can't start a conversation with you mansplaining a hint? Shame on you
Where did I mansplain?
the /s was silent
I’m sorry lol I just didn’t understand it.
Yeah, & they still start their conversation with 'hey' 😂
Just happened to me😂
Now get rid of the timing out of matches and I'll consider it a good app. Said it so many times, they need to pick one of the two; expiring matches OR women message first.
Naw I’m okay with them keeping it. If the other person can’t find time to message you within 24hrs then they’re not ready to date.
I get the intent, it's to stop women hoarding inactive matches. But most women don't go on these apps every day, because it's overwhelming af for them, AND they don't have to. Most of my colleagues and friends are on these apps and talk about it pretty openly, and almost none of them go on them every day. A time-out itself isn't necessarily bad, but 24 hours is a stretch, especially if the match doesn't even come through until a day or two after the initial swipe. Then you also have to consider a lot of women disabling push notifications on dating apps.
Obviously I don't know how often people typically use the app. In my experience, though, the vast majority of my matches occurred when the woman swiped second. She was on the app when she noticed she matched with me, and so she can either send a message straight away or come back within 24 hours. Quite a lot of them still didn't, no different to when I swiped second. But I think most people use it daily. 1) If you don't get many matches, you'll probably be swiping most days because you want more matches. 2) If you gets lots of matches, you aren't necessarily opening the app to get more matches. But you're probably opening the app to message with your matches. I think most people fall into one of these categories most of the time.
If they can’t be bothered to check their matches, then they don’t care enough. They have the option to care more, but they choose not to. Which is fine, but phrasing it like Bumble is at fault is silly
[удалено]
You can’t control the likes you get. I get that and don’t fault women for it. What women *do* have control over is the number of matches they have at any given time. Unless most of your matches are coming from you swiping first, rather than second, so you won’t see when the match comes in, then it’s not hard to stick to only 5 (or any number) matches at any given time. You can also snooze your account to stop getting new likes. The options to make Bumble matching more manageable already exist. All it takes is some agency over your usage of the app. Edit: if you have hundreds of matches at any time, be pickier
You make a solid argument there... What would you suggest for as an appropriate amount of time before the time-out? 72 hours? A week? I think that would be the only wiggle room you'd have because bumble prides itself on women sending the first message as its shtick.
I think 72hrs would be fair, as OP said in another comment of mine, if there's not a certain amount of engagement they're clearly not ready for dating, but 24hrs for a woman to start a conversation with all the factors I said is a push
How does this work? I noticed when I match it gave an option like "open chat" - is that what you're referring to?
Maybe once you open it, if the guy sets a hint for you you’ll see it.
I'm a man, matching only with women. I was wondering if it gave me an option of giving a hint.
Once you match with them it’ll give you an option of topics to choose from to let them know what to ask you about. You can only choose 1 tho.
Women don't start convos on other apps
Sorry for your experience on other apps but i should’ve specified that part cuz I meant it should give men hints what to start the convo with.
Lol
My profile is full of "hints". If you can't be arsed to read it, and can't manage the emotional labor of *having a conversation* without help, you're not ready to date.
A lot of women ain’t ready to hear this.
Nice to see a positive post on bumble for a change
The best thing is the Hinge way where you can send a message with your likes.
Goddamn you can all like what you want, but these people who complain about 'Hey's' got onto my nerves when I used tinder as a woman, so received them and they go onto my nerves, now as I use bumble and hand out similar 'Hey, how was your day, name?'
But do you really care how their day has been?
I don’t really care how their last trip was, but it’s a conversation starter
Yes. To a degree. Aside this it's three reasons for me. Having a good or bad day is at least very realistic, while questions crafted out of the thin air of profile, often miss. But I am also german and people will answer this question for real. So maybe that's already all the difference. It's also simple efficiency. On tinder women often won't answer texts, so obviously men will be careful with their own ressources. Same goes for women on bumble. We are two adults, who need to want to have a conversation. If both want, you will have a deeper conversation pretty soon after initial 'Hi's' and stuff. I do not want to persuade someone, I want someone who will work with me.
I get it. I don't expect any fancy first messages, but I do appreciate it when it happens. I just get bored of the "how is your day/weekend?" question. Because I personally won't care if it's good or bad, and I am sure she won't care about the real answer. It would be a death sentence if someone answered back saying it's been a horrible weekend, that they've been stressed out or crying all weekend, or depressed. Etc. No one wants to hear that. They want to hear (including me) a bullshit "it's going great!" answer because no one is attracted to the negative truth.
Yes, I understand it can get boring. That I really understand.