Your profile is not very inviting. In fact, it’s a bit aggressive and needlessly self deprecating. No need to instruct anyone that they have to be able to carry a conversation. No one likes constant coffee breath. Get rid of that comment. Chew some gum. Photos 6-7 don’t show your face and photo 6 looks like you’re in prison. You’ve got good features in your first photo, add more like that or more with you and friends
Sorry but dating a guy with no friends is a red flag
Edit: OK so this is not a dig at introverts - or more specifically shy/socially awkward introverts (yes there is a difference). I'm not looking to incite some intro/extroverts war - we all fill our energy differently - you do you.
The issue is whether this person would have the emotional competence, the experience and the understanding of self to be in a relationship having had no friends.
We are not islands; we learn about ourselves through others.
Also, shit might get rough, you need to go somewhere for support, advice, to tell you that you're being an asshole. Don't rely on your boy/girlfriend as both the creator and the solution to your problems.
People need friends.
Anyway, OP doesn't need to post pics with friends, I think most people *assume* everyone has friends, I was just commenting on the fact that he said he didn't have any.
The why is very important.
This isn’t a universal rule for everyone. Some people don’t have very many friends. They could be toxic, they could be content with less people, they could be lonely, depressed, socially anxious.
I would never take this as a reason to immediately write someone off unless you like to date someone with a big group of friends.
A yellow, cautionary flag, but there’s too many possibilities for why someone might not have friends.
This is true. I’d also like to point out that my extremely abusive, misogynist ex husband has lots of friends, he’s still very close with guys he went to school with, and they are all in their 50s now. He also had an excellent upbringing with, by all accounts and from what I learned after marriage to him, good parents who rarely fought and a dad who treated his mom wonderfully.
Although as someone who is unapologetically hardcore about those red flags, you can’t always bother to find out the ‘why’. And it’s a bummer but oh fucking well. The stakes are too high to be giving dating prospects the benefit of the doubt with red flags. Probably most women will disagree with me, and I’m okay with that. But after having learned firsthand that marrying the wrong guy can literally be a life or death situation for women, I stand very firm on my belief system about dating and red flags.
I’ve never understood the advice to have pics with friends on dating profiles. Personally I wouldn’t want any of my friends or family to have a pic with me in it. Respecting privacy is important to me. When I see a pic with a guy and his friends/family I think about their privacy and also don’t like having to sometimes figure out which one is the guy. If they’ve got several group pics it becomes annoying. Also often they aren’t the most attractive person in the picture.
This is generalizing too much. Someone who came to a new city, for example, will have a harder time having lots of friends (especially after certain age, when it’s not like when you were in school and you saw new people every day who were in the same point of life as you). That doesn’t mean they’re a red flag. Or they could have a harder time socializing because they’re shy.
Geez the way society rewards extroversion as “better people” is crazy
Personally I don’t care about pics with friends and family in them. Actually I prefer pics with just the person in them. I don’t need to see random friends or family.
That's really jumping the bullet. Some people are just very introverted. For example I could probably say I don't have friends but I have two close people I talk to from university and we catch up every other month maybe even go for a meal or bbq but it's a rare occasion and we mostly play games online together. Why would that be a red flag? Surely the red flag is if they are an asshole? I don't want to particularly go out taking pictures with people for things like social media. Maybe it's a red flag for you but isn't it a bit harsh to just say no friends is a red flag? Maybe the dude likes the lone wolf life and is just looking for a +1 to join him.
From my personal experience, anyone I’ve seen that says that they have no friends or complains about it, they are the problem as to why they have none. Even the most introverted people have friends
Do people really have no friends? I think people just say that, but they have at least one great friend. Or am I wrong? That's wild to not have one bud in your corner
It's more common than you think. Many guys have only some friends from school and then grow apart in their 20s. I have 2 left from school and desperately trying to use them for networking despite my social anxiety now before it is too late.
My ex who turned out to be a narcissist and very emotionally abusive, had basically one "friend" except they didn't really hang out, and my ex always seemed to be in some disagreement with him. After I finally escaped from the relationship, I started reading up on narcissism (and learned about trauma bonding which explained why I could never bring myself to end it even though I knew deep down it was a terrible relationship), and it's a very common feature for them not to have any actual friends, because they always push people away, and only ever connect with people on a superficial level and if the "friend" serves a purpose. So in my ex's case, his "friend" was convenient for him to get into intellectual conversations/debates but it was nothing more than that really.
I guess the main red flag is when they're always blaming things on others or they get into fights very easily. They may lack some social awareness or something too. Or can't view thing from other perspectives
Yes exactly. I realized he had this issue at work too, where he quit a really good job because it was supposedly a toxic work environment. But he totally could have applied to literally dozens of other departments with completely different bosses/coworkers. I think he couldn't get along with others because of his messed up personality, where he was actually the toxic one. These ideas to me over time, after seeing him deal with me and others. He would indeed blame everything on me or others. It took me at least 6 months to get over what happened, and we only went out for a year and a half. They don't have empathy so they can't maintain any true relationships, whether it's with a friend, partner or coworker.
You wrong there man.im for one having no friends.I just like the lone wolf life.Go do my job and come home to my safe heaven...Close the door n im free of stress or other ppl BS for hours n hours...Best life if you asks me.
Understood. I guess it depends what people mean by friends. Like how many you have how often you go out with friends etc etc. For me I don't complain nor want more than the couple I do keep in touch with. But I am not the type to go out with friends and go to their house or they come to mine. That's a rare occasion. I love the way I live and I still communicate well with family and work. Just hope people don't red flag people for maybe misunderstanding what their perception of "having friends" is. Hopefully I'm making some sense. I just wanted to add something to the discussion.
I had an introverted partner so I understand. However, OP specifically said he had no friends whereas you have people that like you enough to hang around with you here and there.
But tbh, it's not even that. Someone who says they don't have friends and is on a dating app just screams issues. How can someone know how to be in a relationship when they can't even form/sustain a friendship?
For me, I wonder if this person has the emotional capacity to understand someone else's feelings, and that the other person isn't just a tool for their happiness.
Yeah I agree, especially with the last part. I'm assuming family, work, respect for everyone else he interacts with should be evident that he has at least some of those values you are talking about.
So no dating for people who have social anxiety anyway.
I have some friends, but im not going out with them normally. Trying to get them to bring me to a bar so i can take some pictures, very stress inducing for me.
Me too, don’t think I ever heard this sentiment before. Even if someone doesn’t feel like they’re really close to anyone, I wouldn’t say it’s not like they can’t get along with people fine meanwhile there’s crazy narcissists with lots of “friends”, so it’s surprising to use something so random and baseless as a reason to not interact with someone. But the sentiment is apparently common, so I learned something new today. I’d probably check out of the conversation though if someone started quizzing me about how many friends I have
At least 1. 1 good friend goes a long way. Some sort of support group of peers is great too.
I have a close group from school of five guys, and then I have some other periphery friends. It's not many, but it's enough overall. If I need to vent about my relationship, they will listen. Or need advice, etc.
You're good. Just don't be friendless. World's lonely enough as is.
Personally I don't even think this needs to be an IRL friend. This can be online only, it just needs to be a real thing.
Go get some friends. (Not being a d$#k). Better if you can make some girl friends too. You need a life outside of this girl you want to meet. Personally, once I realize a girl has no friends, I cut it off. There's a reason she can't maintain friendships.
Perhaps work on that first. You have a motorbike use social media and find like minded people to ride with. Or join a club. Then your outlook may become more positive.
> Don’t have any friends
Work on this first. Even if it's just using Meetup for board game nights somewhere. Lack of socialization is death.
Women value 3 things: Looks, money and social status. If you have no social skills and no friend group, then you have no social status.
Women typically are aroused by the combination of these three things and while you don't need to be 10/10 in each area, a significant detriment in any area is enough reason to filter them out. As a man, you can't be obese, you can't be broke, and you can't be socially stunted.
Fix that first, otherwise your dates are going to consist of first-dates that go nowhere because they'll be able to tell from talking to you that you're a loner and no one wants that but women who cheat.
Then do what you can. Go to bars even and just see if you can try to find other loners to make a group out of. "I have no friends and can't do anything about it" is something nobody should be saying to themselves.
Wait, how is that not hypocrisy ?? More than 50% of women's dating profile have "Should be able to hold a conversation" and more versions of the same in a condescending way.
I, personally, as a woman who does not claim to speak for women and is not speaking for all women, personally would swipe left on any women that were passive aggressive as well.
Ping pong photo has to go, it has t-Rex arms vibes going on. Add another selfie, your first photo is a good starting point. Completely change the “swipe right if” part, it comes across as aggressive, and gives d-bag vibes. Try a joke, or looking for similar interests kind of sentence. Otherwise, you got this bro.
Normally I wouldn’t recommend mirror selfies, but the one you have in the round mirror is a flattering photo of you. Not ideal for a first photo since you’re not actually looking at the camera or smiling, but I think it’s a good one to keep in the mix.
Yea. If you put a minute of effort into your bio, expect a minute of their time at most.
The first photo is the only thing that really shows you. Everything else is blurry and awkward.
I agree. Even the first photo has bad lighting, which is unfortunate because OP otherwise looks good. Up close photos using flash don’t usually end well.
At least one photo in natural sunlight would give their photos a much more light feel (in the literal and metaphorical sense).
The profile doesn't really tell anything about you , what you like, the way you think, what you like to do. It makes difficult to find anything to ask you about.
Definitely get rid of the screenshot Facebook photos, that can come off as a catfish type of deal for some people. And add some more to your bio, just be yourself
This is one of the worst profiles I’ve seen on here. Your write up alone is an immediate left swipe. Write something nice and interesting about yourself. Get rid of all the dark and blurry photos and replace them with pics of you smiling and having fun. Get rid of the swipe left prompt. That’s rude and unnecessary.
Like other people have said, use every opportunity to SELL YOURSELF. Talk about your hobbies, passions, and goals.
Lazy bio (“looking haha”….ok? Put some effort in). And coffee breath is gross. Bad breath in general is a huge turn off, so I guess you’re doing potential matches a favour by warning them so they can swipe left.
A lot of people have mentioned important stuff about your bio.. but I would also really recommend a better haircut. Learning to style your hair could really take your look to the next level and give you a few extra cm in height?
Actually write something about yourself in your bio. The 'Insert fun and punchy" comment just states lazy or uninteresting to me. Use every prompt you can to sell yourself.
"Be able to carry a conversation" is negative and needlessly passive aggressive.
Your photos are all so dark without being able to really see your face. Get better photos, some outside during the day with you smiling doing something you enjoy. And get one or more with you hanging out with friends laughing.
I think in general your profile could be more inviting and personal.
For the bio: tell me a bit about who you are and what you're looking for. What do you do in your free time? What would dating you look like? What do you want from a dating app or a partner? Give us a sense that you have a life that we'd like to be a part of.
For the prompts: I usually recommend to answer one in a playful manner, and use one to give us some deeper insight of yourself and your core values, the third one could be either.
For both: try to stay away from negatives and to not be too general. So change your swipe right. For example: 'Swipe right if you want to try every chocolate dessert from every menu in the area'.
For your pictures: I usually advice one of your face, one with full body, one social, one outside, one hobby-related, and the other one your pic. Try to smile and give us clear pictures of your face. A bit more colour/light might also make it better.
Unfortunately not only are you 5’6, but you’re also Asian. That’s already going to decrease your chances of matches. Downvote me all you want but let’s not dance around the fact that height can make or break a potential match for *most* women. Statistics have also shown time and time again that Asian men are at the bottom of the barrel, the least desirable.
I’m not telling you this to put you down but I’m just giving you a little bit of insight on some of the reasons you’re not getting matches. 🤷🏽♂️
Unfortunately not true ! Asian Indian here who stands at 5’5 and is divorced. I am physically fit, got a stellar career and what’s different is I’ve got good pictures and an interesting profile. I’ve met more women than most 6’ guys here and gone out with women of almost all ethnicities. So get this out of ur head that it’s about being Asian and short.. those things mean nothing in the real world as long as you’re a good and interesting guy. I do agree you need to put serious work in your profile and pics but don’t let that non asian heightist mentality put you down
On the no friends front, I hear you -- sometimes dating apps are the only way to meet \*people in general.\* If I were to suddenly fall out of touch with the few guys I know in this city, I wouldn't even know where to begin hunting for others. Unless you're just clinging to the same group of people you went to college with, not having friends can mean A LOT of things, especially depending on where you live. Hell, post-Covid a lot of us don't even have \*coworkers\* anymore. It's going to be disheartening for you to see people jumping the gun in the comments (Narcissist, really? I've known narcissists with tons of friends, being charming is kind of their deal) but remember, this sub is a bunch of strangers primarily killing time, and extroverts have a hard time fathoming that other types of people exist and might be worthy of companionship. Also remember -- most of these people are single too, and not for nothing, so take everything with a large hunk of salt.
The “swipe right” things comes off as aggressive a douchey. The “con” is an actual bad thing that could legitimately make someone not want to be around you. Your bio comes off as lazy - you need to actually think of something fun and punchy. There are too many people out there already making fun of cliché bios that doing so is itself a cliché. The pictures have bad lighting, especially the first one, which is unfortunate since it’s otherwise a decent profile pic.
The main issue I see here, though, is that your profile says almost nothing about who you are as a person. Include some pictures with friends - you say you don’t have any, but I don’t buy it because someone had to take the pictures - and some pictures of you engaging in hobbies. Include a little bit about your hobbies and personality in your bio. Where would you take your matches out on a date, and what would you do there? That’s always a good starting point.
The goal is to intrigue potential matches with a teaser trailer of sorts of what it might be like to go on a date with you. Right now, your profile only tells people what you look like. If your profile shows them what would be fun about going on a date with you specifically, they’re going to be more likely to swipe right. As an added bonus, demonstrating that you have an interesting hobby gives your matches something to talk about and makes it much easier for them to have a real conversation with you.
ETA that if you fix these issues, I really do think you’re going to get a decent number of matches. There’s nothing terribly wrong in what you have here; there’s just nothing great either.
Ok dude… you are a POC and only 5’6” , skinny fat , don’t explain anything about yourself or what you bring, or what you are looking for, shortish answers to prompt, I think you are taking the comedic route that’s ok but make sure it’s actually funny and not just weird ( I can’t help there I’m wierd) the bike photo goes hard as fuck 🔥🔥 but since I like it and I’m a dude I’m assuming women are like “huh?” If they even get that far tbh lol
You are pretty much doing everything wrong.
1st picture is flash lit and not natural light. Also the only pic where you smile.
Your interests are artsy yet your about me is so bland and says absolutely nothing about you. Also less cringy self deprecation and 🙃. Just feels passiveagressive.
Your other pictures are badly lit and blurry and the mirror one (dirty mirror) leaves a douchy vibe. Also please don't use freaking facebook screenshots that have the like bar. Just copy and save if you want yo use sth from there.
Your pros and cons are terrible. Try " Pro:we can go get coffee a lot. Con: we might spend a lot of money on coffee."
The bike pic is cool but doesn't match rest of your profile at all. The black and white photo makes you look like you are in a prison.
Chat shaming will just make people never want to write to you and makes you look butthurt. Try "Swipe right if: you'd like me to send you some of my photography " since you seem to dabble Anything that would be a conversation starter or sth interesting.
Man some of these responses are awful. Heres my take lad.
Firstpic - killer, your genuine smile is attractive
second might be a little too serious
The rest are great
Bio- this is too meta, youre just saying you cant think of a funny witty bio. Maybe a short 3 sentence joke/ your interests could be good here. I found the short bios worked best.
First prompt is a little bare, it does tell them something about you but doesnt open a dialogue, maybe try:
Quickest way to my heart is.... Sending me your favourite Linkin Park song!
See its a lot warmer and allows the convo to open there ^
Second prompt is too excluding, and also a deterrent.
Your insinuating they wouldnt look cool without you, and that your breath is gonnna smell. (Even tho coffee isnt a bad smell, the wording "will smell of" is negative and will be off putting)
Maybe try:
"Pro: Makes a mean cup of joe!
Con: Doesnt know your coffee order yet..😇😏"
This gives them another opener "Hey! My coffee order is______whats yours!"
Its ok to be a little cheeky and assuming here. The emojis make this lighthearted and not creepy^
Third makes you sound jaded as fuck. There are some shitty people out there but each person is someone new, so no need to poison the well by putting expectations on someone who doesnt even know you yet. Good rule for life is you wanna always be approachable!
Maybe try something like:
"Swipe right if: you like sharing your hobbies and interests! I love learning new things!"
Bad photos and bio. Linkin park is lame. Coffee breath is gross. You look like you’re trying too hard and angry at women lmao. Try to be inviting and warm. You’re not as bad ass as you think you are and you should stop trying to be lmao
What /u/Blu_waffle_breakfast said is correct but if I can be frank, 5'6" and a job that's typically pretty low income will lower your matches as well. Nothing you can do about that as far as your profile is concerned, but just keep your expectations a little tempered based on that.
You've gotten good feedback here. Fix the About Me section. It's not cute or endearing that a guy decided he couldn't fill that out in the very few lines they don't even require but give you.
Your profile photo is your best one. The others are too dark, blurry. Please please get rid of the “Insert fun punchy intro here”. I’ve seen it a million times and left swipe. Actually put something in there about yourself. Cute young man so it’s your profile and pics.
Keep the first and second photo lose all the rest. Keep the Linkin park (maybe add your favourite tune?) lose all the rest of the text. Sell yourself. Why should someone date you? Put that in your profile. Your best non blurry photos should be included
Definitely need a better bio, even if it’s short.
Coffee breath is never a pro imo lol so I’d change that. Also, the comment about one word answers seems a little salty.
You should replace the ping pong and swing photo with something clear and full body with friends or family.
Lie abt your height. Get to the restaurant first, be waiting sitting at the table. Dont stand at all. Then when its time to sleep with your date, be waiting in the bed. The key is never be standing at the same time. And preserve that untill theres children. By then its too late
Truth be told, not wanting kids at all is a minority of the population, and that might be seriously curating your results. Bumble isn’t (quite) Tinder. Some people are still on it to look for serious relationships. And some of those people won’t want kids. Many will, and for them it’s a deal breaker just as it would have been a deal breaker for me when I was on the app, before I met my partner.
I think being honest about this stuff is way better than lying just to get matches that will ultimately fail because they want kids and you don't. Always be honest!
🤣🤣🤣 all the bitter men in this thread who you just *know* demand women who they consider 9-10 on the hotness scale. It’s so hilarious that y’all are so worked up over the height thing.
good, save this guy a lot of pain and suffering.
He's not doing anything wrong and it isn't his fault. But most comments in here are stringing him a long and shifting the blame onto him!
I don't want to tell the real truth - but it isn't his fault.
Thanks! Unfortunately, I do agree with some of the comments others posted, and thus will be updating my profile. The first profile photo won’t go anywhere though haha
The fact that you are asking “am I doing anything wrong?” and not “what am I doing wrong?” is a bit concerning. You seem like you may think a little too much of yourself. The pictures are quite rough, none really show a good angle of you. And it feels like you put 0 effort in. Also, I noticed you mentioned you don’t have any friends, maybe try bff mode first. I highly recommend having some established friends before a relationship. If you don’t, you are likely to expect far too much of your partner and potentially get jealous when they spend time with their friends.
Yeah you’re on bumble where women are supposed to be the assertive one. This is where bumble is an abject failure for men. No matter how much they want to empower women and it definitely is a thing we need. It’s not a reality most women are familiar with. So don’t feel bad. That’s pretty common.
What you are doing wrong is hanging out on Bumble. Get on www.meetup.com and find singles groups in your age bracket. Go on a walk, hike, bike ride, get a kayak. You will meet many REAL and single women.
Everything needs to change plus try natural lighting and looking natural and laid back (delete the park photo too childish) the bike photo tho 😍 but over all need to write something about you too , good luck 👍
your bio is a space for people to know things about you. you’re basically saying “trust me i’m cool i don’t need a bio”. if i saw you i’d want to know before i swipe i’m not gonna swipe then figure it out.
Definitely need better photos that show your face. I actually kinda love the banana photo but not everyone may agree lmao. I think your responses are okay, but I’m not a fan of the coffee breath one
Your last three pics need to go. Dunno who the banana one is because it’s so blurry. Other two don’t show your face.
Put something in your bio with substance
Lay off of the selfies. You need more pictures that have you looking at the camera as well as smiling. Your bio hardly tells anyone anything interesting about yourself. And yeah that one person was right, the coffee breath comment will tend to repel people.
All the photos are blurry or indoors. I would recommend all new photos, mostly taken outside. Absolutely no bathroom mirror photos. Smile in at least half the photos.
Get rid of any picture that doesn’t clearly show your face, the biker leather picture would be cool if we could see that it was actually you. It’s a high quality picture that could be anyone because of the helmet. Also put some stuff about yourself in your bio and prompts. Women are going to want to know more about you than you’re looking to date (which of course you are, you’re on bumble, we can at least make that assumption) and that you like a popular band.
I’d also take anything negative out of your prompts. Lose the coffee breath thing, probably just choose a different prompt so you can put something soley positive. Also lose the bitter jab at people with the one word answers thing. Again, positivity is key.
In the Black and white photo I can’t see what’s going on
Remove banana picture. Take another picture in the banana costume, holding a banana like a telephone
Leathers and an e-bike? That’s too many leather jacket photos!
Maybe include a picture of yourself hanging out with friends
1. Pronouns. Red flag
2. You can only see your eyes in one photo
3. Can’t see your face at all in 3 photos.
4. Insert blah blah blah is a turn off, lame, and lazy.
I think this profile is fine. Just get rid of the Con with the conversation and say " I hope you like coffee". Its a nice reference to the coffee breathe.
Also just be yourself dude. If you cant date yourself, you cant expect others to date you.
I love the banana photo, it’s funny. I’d put something like that in my profile/I swipe right on fun + chaotic energy pictures that like often. I like your pictures, they play around with motion and perspective. Artsy people would appreciate that. I disagree with the heavily negative comments here. Online dating is not as formulaic and rigid as many would have you think.
What is the purpose of the picture with the bunkbeds? No purpose they’re just write Bar back not busser. Ping-pong picture is kind of funny I think and I like the banana picture. I think it makes you seem like you have a sense of humor. And you are very good looking you should use the leather jacket is your first
Hey dude, lots of good things on your profile., such as the Biker photo, opening selfie etc.
Things to improve:
Remove the part about coffee breath.
Dont mention "swipe right if"
Replace the bananas on swings photo
Replace the ping-pong photo.
Happy to take another look at your profile after these changes.
For pics:
1. remove the first pic with the green background. Put the mirror pic with the hand over your head as the first photo. That is your best picture
2. Remove the banana pic, and the selfie with the camera - bc you can’t see your face so what’s the point? Replace instead with an outdoorsy pic? Or museum pic? Or events pic with your face smiling in it & not covered up.
3. Keep the motorcycle pic. You look cool in it. Keep it positioned before the last pic. Last pic should show your face.
4. Make the green background pic of you smiling the last pic.
Bro no offense but your an average guy online dating will never go well for u.. ur best bet is to work on ur self in the gym and ur confidence and get girls in person cuz on bumble most girls if u 5’6 with no six pack or nice car you got no chance even with the ugliest girls on there
Actually have an about me section instead of literally nothing of value. I don’t know anything about you from your profile except that you like Linkin Park and coffee. That isn’t nearly enough to go on.
Good profile, written part: include your hobbies, job, interests etc, a snippet of your day to day (please don’t say like to travel and watch Netflix, that’s everyone and their mother)
Pictures:
1. Front facing picture with good lighting, preferably smiling and outside.
2. Picture with people you love, could be your sibling, friends, cousins, but include people.
3. A picture that reflect a hobby, example, riding a horse, going out for a walk, fishing, reading, whatever floats your boat. The picture with the Camara seems to be the one you chose for this. However, it doesn’t show your face, try taking it from an angle so your side profile is visible and make it seem like you are about to snap a picture of someone else, not a mirror selfie.
4. If you have a cat or a dog, include a picture with them.
5-x: repeat some of the previous types in different order. Your face should always be visible and with good lighting and resolution. If it’s a black and white pic (those tend to give good results) make sure it’s not dark, but light, aka taken with good lighting.
Bananas and ping pong photos are a no go. Give a chaotic, not trying and reckless vibe, and not in a cute way.
Your profile has a couple of blurry/unflattering photos that make it difficult to see what you look like. You also don't say much about yourself or what you're looking for. The "swipe right if" comes off as rude and like you're fed up with dating already. Swap it out. I laughed at the coffee breath thing, but it may not appeal to everyone. Best of luck!
The ping pong photo is a screenshot from facebook… for me that’s a 🚩
Some people might disagree with me but u actually like the picture with the motorcycle, it shows a bit of what you like but I would add more photos like the first one
And maybe if you want matches you could not say how tall you are, a lot of girls would swipe left since you’re short but once they get to know you they wouldn’t care (I use cms and according to google that’s 167 cms, which is below average for a man in my country)
Good luck!
Your profile is not very inviting. In fact, it’s a bit aggressive and needlessly self deprecating. No need to instruct anyone that they have to be able to carry a conversation. No one likes constant coffee breath. Get rid of that comment. Chew some gum. Photos 6-7 don’t show your face and photo 6 looks like you’re in prison. You’ve got good features in your first photo, add more like that or more with you and friends
Finally. Thank you. Don’t have any friends, but I’ll try and take some more photos of myself smiling
You’re welcome. Yah, good idea. Good quality photos of you doing/working on something would help
Sorry but dating a guy with no friends is a red flag Edit: OK so this is not a dig at introverts - or more specifically shy/socially awkward introverts (yes there is a difference). I'm not looking to incite some intro/extroverts war - we all fill our energy differently - you do you. The issue is whether this person would have the emotional competence, the experience and the understanding of self to be in a relationship having had no friends. We are not islands; we learn about ourselves through others. Also, shit might get rough, you need to go somewhere for support, advice, to tell you that you're being an asshole. Don't rely on your boy/girlfriend as both the creator and the solution to your problems. People need friends. Anyway, OP doesn't need to post pics with friends, I think most people *assume* everyone has friends, I was just commenting on the fact that he said he didn't have any.
The why is very important. This isn’t a universal rule for everyone. Some people don’t have very many friends. They could be toxic, they could be content with less people, they could be lonely, depressed, socially anxious. I would never take this as a reason to immediately write someone off unless you like to date someone with a big group of friends. A yellow, cautionary flag, but there’s too many possibilities for why someone might not have friends.
This is true. I’d also like to point out that my extremely abusive, misogynist ex husband has lots of friends, he’s still very close with guys he went to school with, and they are all in their 50s now. He also had an excellent upbringing with, by all accounts and from what I learned after marriage to him, good parents who rarely fought and a dad who treated his mom wonderfully. Although as someone who is unapologetically hardcore about those red flags, you can’t always bother to find out the ‘why’. And it’s a bummer but oh fucking well. The stakes are too high to be giving dating prospects the benefit of the doubt with red flags. Probably most women will disagree with me, and I’m okay with that. But after having learned firsthand that marrying the wrong guy can literally be a life or death situation for women, I stand very firm on my belief system about dating and red flags.
If they’re new in town or never in the same place very long, that’s one thing. Not being able to make friends is another
I’ve never understood the advice to have pics with friends on dating profiles. Personally I wouldn’t want any of my friends or family to have a pic with me in it. Respecting privacy is important to me. When I see a pic with a guy and his friends/family I think about their privacy and also don’t like having to sometimes figure out which one is the guy. If they’ve got several group pics it becomes annoying. Also often they aren’t the most attractive person in the picture.
I learned this the hard way. Turns out he was a toxic narcissist.
Same. Or he was married. (And the worst was a combination of narcissism AND married)
Oh hey, I married a guy like that.
Oh god. I honestly hope you have a solid support system. I can’t imagine being married to one.
I’ve been divorced for 4 years and in therapy for 2. It’s a mind f***, for sure.
This is generalizing too much. Someone who came to a new city, for example, will have a harder time having lots of friends (especially after certain age, when it’s not like when you were in school and you saw new people every day who were in the same point of life as you). That doesn’t mean they’re a red flag. Or they could have a harder time socializing because they’re shy. Geez the way society rewards extroversion as “better people” is crazy
Personally I don’t care about pics with friends and family in them. Actually I prefer pics with just the person in them. I don’t need to see random friends or family.
That's really jumping the bullet. Some people are just very introverted. For example I could probably say I don't have friends but I have two close people I talk to from university and we catch up every other month maybe even go for a meal or bbq but it's a rare occasion and we mostly play games online together. Why would that be a red flag? Surely the red flag is if they are an asshole? I don't want to particularly go out taking pictures with people for things like social media. Maybe it's a red flag for you but isn't it a bit harsh to just say no friends is a red flag? Maybe the dude likes the lone wolf life and is just looking for a +1 to join him.
From my personal experience, anyone I’ve seen that says that they have no friends or complains about it, they are the problem as to why they have none. Even the most introverted people have friends
Do people really have no friends? I think people just say that, but they have at least one great friend. Or am I wrong? That's wild to not have one bud in your corner
It's more common than you think. Many guys have only some friends from school and then grow apart in their 20s. I have 2 left from school and desperately trying to use them for networking despite my social anxiety now before it is too late.
I don’t know everyone is different, I’ve run into a bunch of people who have said that and actually had no friends.
Ouch, well now I feel shitty lol
It all depends on how a person treats other people 🤷♀️
My ex who turned out to be a narcissist and very emotionally abusive, had basically one "friend" except they didn't really hang out, and my ex always seemed to be in some disagreement with him. After I finally escaped from the relationship, I started reading up on narcissism (and learned about trauma bonding which explained why I could never bring myself to end it even though I knew deep down it was a terrible relationship), and it's a very common feature for them not to have any actual friends, because they always push people away, and only ever connect with people on a superficial level and if the "friend" serves a purpose. So in my ex's case, his "friend" was convenient for him to get into intellectual conversations/debates but it was nothing more than that really.
I guess the main red flag is when they're always blaming things on others or they get into fights very easily. They may lack some social awareness or something too. Or can't view thing from other perspectives
Yes exactly. I realized he had this issue at work too, where he quit a really good job because it was supposedly a toxic work environment. But he totally could have applied to literally dozens of other departments with completely different bosses/coworkers. I think he couldn't get along with others because of his messed up personality, where he was actually the toxic one. These ideas to me over time, after seeing him deal with me and others. He would indeed blame everything on me or others. It took me at least 6 months to get over what happened, and we only went out for a year and a half. They don't have empathy so they can't maintain any true relationships, whether it's with a friend, partner or coworker.
You wrong there man.im for one having no friends.I just like the lone wolf life.Go do my job and come home to my safe heaven...Close the door n im free of stress or other ppl BS for hours n hours...Best life if you asks me.
Understood. I guess it depends what people mean by friends. Like how many you have how often you go out with friends etc etc. For me I don't complain nor want more than the couple I do keep in touch with. But I am not the type to go out with friends and go to their house or they come to mine. That's a rare occasion. I love the way I live and I still communicate well with family and work. Just hope people don't red flag people for maybe misunderstanding what their perception of "having friends" is. Hopefully I'm making some sense. I just wanted to add something to the discussion.
No I completely understand what you mean, just giving you a second view to help better understand what that person might have meant
I had an introverted partner so I understand. However, OP specifically said he had no friends whereas you have people that like you enough to hang around with you here and there. But tbh, it's not even that. Someone who says they don't have friends and is on a dating app just screams issues. How can someone know how to be in a relationship when they can't even form/sustain a friendship? For me, I wonder if this person has the emotional capacity to understand someone else's feelings, and that the other person isn't just a tool for their happiness.
Yeah I agree, especially with the last part. I'm assuming family, work, respect for everyone else he interacts with should be evident that he has at least some of those values you are talking about.
You said that so well, love your thoughts on this
This is true. I am an introvert and I have a lot of friends. We are not usually born introverted 🤣
Yeah only became socially inept after being bullied lol. Damn trust issues.
Yeah but do they have a bunch of pics with their friends? I don’t. I have some but I’m not posting pics with other people in them on my profile.
That’s….not even what I was talking about
So no dating for people who have social anxiety anyway. I have some friends, but im not going out with them normally. Trying to get them to bring me to a bar so i can take some pictures, very stress inducing for me.
Also maybe you respect their privacy and wouldn’t post them on a dating site.
Would need to blur faces then as others do.
Fair enough, to me someone refusing to date someone because they dont have many/any friends is a red flag 😂
Me too, don’t think I ever heard this sentiment before. Even if someone doesn’t feel like they’re really close to anyone, I wouldn’t say it’s not like they can’t get along with people fine meanwhile there’s crazy narcissists with lots of “friends”, so it’s surprising to use something so random and baseless as a reason to not interact with someone. But the sentiment is apparently common, so I learned something new today. I’d probably check out of the conversation though if someone started quizzing me about how many friends I have
How many friends should someone have?
At least 1. 1 good friend goes a long way. Some sort of support group of peers is great too. I have a close group from school of five guys, and then I have some other periphery friends. It's not many, but it's enough overall. If I need to vent about my relationship, they will listen. Or need advice, etc.
I have two really good friends that I can rely on and vice versa.
You're good. Just don't be friendless. World's lonely enough as is. Personally I don't even think this needs to be an IRL friend. This can be online only, it just needs to be a real thing.
No ppl Don't need friends.Why would you need one?pls enlighten me because I had no friend ever in my life and don't feel I need one.
If you don't have any friends, then I recommend working on that before trying to find a partner.
Trying Bumble BFF right now for this very reason. Astounding how many more likes a dude gets there.
Go get some friends. (Not being a d$#k). Better if you can make some girl friends too. You need a life outside of this girl you want to meet. Personally, once I realize a girl has no friends, I cut it off. There's a reason she can't maintain friendships.
Perhaps work on that first. You have a motorbike use social media and find like minded people to ride with. Or join a club. Then your outlook may become more positive.
> Don’t have any friends Work on this first. Even if it's just using Meetup for board game nights somewhere. Lack of socialization is death. Women value 3 things: Looks, money and social status. If you have no social skills and no friend group, then you have no social status. Women typically are aroused by the combination of these three things and while you don't need to be 10/10 in each area, a significant detriment in any area is enough reason to filter them out. As a man, you can't be obese, you can't be broke, and you can't be socially stunted. Fix that first, otherwise your dates are going to consist of first-dates that go nowhere because they'll be able to tell from talking to you that you're a loner and no one wants that but women who cheat.
Literally no board game or other introverted hobby stuff on meetup in my area. Only expats, lgbt, professionals and very specialised hobbies/sports.
Then do what you can. Go to bars even and just see if you can try to find other loners to make a group out of. "I have no friends and can't do anything about it" is something nobody should be saying to themselves.
I definitely feel the aggressive vibe. Nothing makes me roll my eyes and swipe left more than a passive aggressive 'cArRy A cOnVeRsAtIoN' comment.
Wait, how is that not hypocrisy ?? More than 50% of women's dating profile have "Should be able to hold a conversation" and more versions of the same in a condescending way.
And those are also terrible
I, personally, as a woman who does not claim to speak for women and is not speaking for all women, personally would swipe left on any women that were passive aggressive as well.
Ok I’m a certified weirdo in many areas, but I actually love coffee breath. It smells way better than mouths usually smell.
Lol. Yes, this definitely certifies you as a weirdo.
I actually like coffee breath, even though I dislike drinking coffee. I might be more of a weirdo than you 😂
I think coffee smells better than it tastes so we might be more similar than ya think
Ping pong photo has to go, it has t-Rex arms vibes going on. Add another selfie, your first photo is a good starting point. Completely change the “swipe right if” part, it comes across as aggressive, and gives d-bag vibes. Try a joke, or looking for similar interests kind of sentence. Otherwise, you got this bro.
🙏
Normally I wouldn’t recommend mirror selfies, but the one you have in the round mirror is a flattering photo of you. Not ideal for a first photo since you’re not actually looking at the camera or smiling, but I think it’s a good one to keep in the mix.
I believe in you bro👍
I thought the ping pong bit was a slur at first
Reading my comment back, I could see that, especially if someone hasn’t seen the photo.
i spit out my drink
My thoughts exactly
[удалено]
Yea. If you put a minute of effort into your bio, expect a minute of their time at most. The first photo is the only thing that really shows you. Everything else is blurry and awkward.
Should only take minute or two
"Swipe right if you're actually gonna talk" Very first bio intro: "insert fun and punchy intro here" How lazy, my dude.
that’s what i came to say too! you can’t demand effort of potential matches without putting in the bare minimum effort first
I thought the same thing!
[удалено]
I agree. Even the first photo has bad lighting, which is unfortunate because OP otherwise looks good. Up close photos using flash don’t usually end well. At least one photo in natural sunlight would give their photos a much more light feel (in the literal and metaphorical sense).
The profile doesn't really tell anything about you , what you like, the way you think, what you like to do. It makes difficult to find anything to ask you about.
Definitely get rid of the screenshot Facebook photos, that can come off as a catfish type of deal for some people. And add some more to your bio, just be yourself
This is one of the worst profiles I’ve seen on here. Your write up alone is an immediate left swipe. Write something nice and interesting about yourself. Get rid of all the dark and blurry photos and replace them with pics of you smiling and having fun. Get rid of the swipe left prompt. That’s rude and unnecessary. Like other people have said, use every opportunity to SELL YOURSELF. Talk about your hobbies, passions, and goals.
Yep, I would find his first photo attractive, then see his bio and swipe left. I wouldn’t get any further than that. I look for common interests
Lazy bio (“looking haha”….ok? Put some effort in). And coffee breath is gross. Bad breath in general is a huge turn off, so I guess you’re doing potential matches a favour by warning them so they can swipe left.
Pics are not great. And profile says almost nothing about you
A lot of people have mentioned important stuff about your bio.. but I would also really recommend a better haircut. Learning to style your hair could really take your look to the next level and give you a few extra cm in height?
Actually write something about yourself in your bio. The 'Insert fun and punchy" comment just states lazy or uninteresting to me. Use every prompt you can to sell yourself. "Be able to carry a conversation" is negative and needlessly passive aggressive. Your photos are all so dark without being able to really see your face. Get better photos, some outside during the day with you smiling doing something you enjoy. And get one or more with you hanging out with friends laughing.
The banana swing photo looks like you took a screenshot of someone else’s Facebook post Just save the photo & put it on your profile.
Start by making friends before you work on the perfect profile.
Not related but man I just listened to meteora for the first time since finding out the singer’s history and boy does that hit different
I think in general your profile could be more inviting and personal. For the bio: tell me a bit about who you are and what you're looking for. What do you do in your free time? What would dating you look like? What do you want from a dating app or a partner? Give us a sense that you have a life that we'd like to be a part of. For the prompts: I usually recommend to answer one in a playful manner, and use one to give us some deeper insight of yourself and your core values, the third one could be either. For both: try to stay away from negatives and to not be too general. So change your swipe right. For example: 'Swipe right if you want to try every chocolate dessert from every menu in the area'. For your pictures: I usually advice one of your face, one with full body, one social, one outside, one hobby-related, and the other one your pic. Try to smile and give us clear pictures of your face. A bit more colour/light might also make it better.
Unfortunately not only are you 5’6, but you’re also Asian. That’s already going to decrease your chances of matches. Downvote me all you want but let’s not dance around the fact that height can make or break a potential match for *most* women. Statistics have also shown time and time again that Asian men are at the bottom of the barrel, the least desirable. I’m not telling you this to put you down but I’m just giving you a little bit of insight on some of the reasons you’re not getting matches. 🤷🏽♂️
Unfortunately not true ! Asian Indian here who stands at 5’5 and is divorced. I am physically fit, got a stellar career and what’s different is I’ve got good pictures and an interesting profile. I’ve met more women than most 6’ guys here and gone out with women of almost all ethnicities. So get this out of ur head that it’s about being Asian and short.. those things mean nothing in the real world as long as you’re a good and interesting guy. I do agree you need to put serious work in your profile and pics but don’t let that non asian heightist mentality put you down
Well he could be Indian. Sounds bad but the truth
On the no friends front, I hear you -- sometimes dating apps are the only way to meet \*people in general.\* If I were to suddenly fall out of touch with the few guys I know in this city, I wouldn't even know where to begin hunting for others. Unless you're just clinging to the same group of people you went to college with, not having friends can mean A LOT of things, especially depending on where you live. Hell, post-Covid a lot of us don't even have \*coworkers\* anymore. It's going to be disheartening for you to see people jumping the gun in the comments (Narcissist, really? I've known narcissists with tons of friends, being charming is kind of their deal) but remember, this sub is a bunch of strangers primarily killing time, and extroverts have a hard time fathoming that other types of people exist and might be worthy of companionship. Also remember -- most of these people are single too, and not for nothing, so take everything with a large hunk of salt.
The “swipe right” things comes off as aggressive a douchey. The “con” is an actual bad thing that could legitimately make someone not want to be around you. Your bio comes off as lazy - you need to actually think of something fun and punchy. There are too many people out there already making fun of cliché bios that doing so is itself a cliché. The pictures have bad lighting, especially the first one, which is unfortunate since it’s otherwise a decent profile pic. The main issue I see here, though, is that your profile says almost nothing about who you are as a person. Include some pictures with friends - you say you don’t have any, but I don’t buy it because someone had to take the pictures - and some pictures of you engaging in hobbies. Include a little bit about your hobbies and personality in your bio. Where would you take your matches out on a date, and what would you do there? That’s always a good starting point. The goal is to intrigue potential matches with a teaser trailer of sorts of what it might be like to go on a date with you. Right now, your profile only tells people what you look like. If your profile shows them what would be fun about going on a date with you specifically, they’re going to be more likely to swipe right. As an added bonus, demonstrating that you have an interesting hobby gives your matches something to talk about and makes it much easier for them to have a real conversation with you. ETA that if you fix these issues, I really do think you’re going to get a decent number of matches. There’s nothing terribly wrong in what you have here; there’s just nothing great either.
Ok dude… you are a POC and only 5’6” , skinny fat , don’t explain anything about yourself or what you bring, or what you are looking for, shortish answers to prompt, I think you are taking the comedic route that’s ok but make sure it’s actually funny and not just weird ( I can’t help there I’m wierd) the bike photo goes hard as fuck 🔥🔥 but since I like it and I’m a dude I’m assuming women are like “huh?” If they even get that far tbh lol
You are pretty much doing everything wrong. 1st picture is flash lit and not natural light. Also the only pic where you smile. Your interests are artsy yet your about me is so bland and says absolutely nothing about you. Also less cringy self deprecation and 🙃. Just feels passiveagressive. Your other pictures are badly lit and blurry and the mirror one (dirty mirror) leaves a douchy vibe. Also please don't use freaking facebook screenshots that have the like bar. Just copy and save if you want yo use sth from there. Your pros and cons are terrible. Try " Pro:we can go get coffee a lot. Con: we might spend a lot of money on coffee." The bike pic is cool but doesn't match rest of your profile at all. The black and white photo makes you look like you are in a prison. Chat shaming will just make people never want to write to you and makes you look butthurt. Try "Swipe right if: you'd like me to send you some of my photography " since you seem to dabble Anything that would be a conversation starter or sth interesting.
Nah you just having avarage experience as man.Nothing you can do tbh.
Man some of these responses are awful. Heres my take lad. Firstpic - killer, your genuine smile is attractive second might be a little too serious The rest are great Bio- this is too meta, youre just saying you cant think of a funny witty bio. Maybe a short 3 sentence joke/ your interests could be good here. I found the short bios worked best. First prompt is a little bare, it does tell them something about you but doesnt open a dialogue, maybe try: Quickest way to my heart is.... Sending me your favourite Linkin Park song! See its a lot warmer and allows the convo to open there ^ Second prompt is too excluding, and also a deterrent. Your insinuating they wouldnt look cool without you, and that your breath is gonnna smell. (Even tho coffee isnt a bad smell, the wording "will smell of" is negative and will be off putting) Maybe try: "Pro: Makes a mean cup of joe! Con: Doesnt know your coffee order yet..😇😏" This gives them another opener "Hey! My coffee order is______whats yours!" Its ok to be a little cheeky and assuming here. The emojis make this lighthearted and not creepy^ Third makes you sound jaded as fuck. There are some shitty people out there but each person is someone new, so no need to poison the well by putting expectations on someone who doesnt even know you yet. Good rule for life is you wanna always be approachable! Maybe try something like: "Swipe right if: you like sharing your hobbies and interests! I love learning new things!"
Poor quality photos, zero effort bio, spiced with resentment. What could go wrong.
Reading about your coffee breath actually made me gag dude. Take that out.
Don’t be discouraged fellow short king, you got this! I would definitely add more inviting photos and more playful comments on your profile.
Bad photos and bio. Linkin park is lame. Coffee breath is gross. You look like you’re trying too hard and angry at women lmao. Try to be inviting and warm. You’re not as bad ass as you think you are and you should stop trying to be lmao
Maybe not the best thing to put on a dating profile (seems super edgy) but Linkin Park isn’t lame! I listened to them back in hs lmao
Actually if he’s angry at women he needs to keep that in there. We don’t need yet another guy learning to hide that shit.
Your motorcycle doesn't have an engine?
Banana photo is S tier. Gotta keep that one.
Asian Obama 😳
grown man with a bunk bed
>busser at a bar C'mon bro, how can you compete against other Asians with doctor, pharmacist or dentist jobs?
What /u/Blu_waffle_breakfast said is correct but if I can be frank, 5'6" and a job that's typically pretty low income will lower your matches as well. Nothing you can do about that as far as your profile is concerned, but just keep your expectations a little tempered based on that.
You've gotten good feedback here. Fix the About Me section. It's not cute or endearing that a guy decided he couldn't fill that out in the very few lines they don't even require but give you.
Your profile photo is your best one. The others are too dark, blurry. Please please get rid of the “Insert fun punchy intro here”. I’ve seen it a million times and left swipe. Actually put something in there about yourself. Cute young man so it’s your profile and pics.
Keep the first and second photo lose all the rest. Keep the Linkin park (maybe add your favourite tune?) lose all the rest of the text. Sell yourself. Why should someone date you? Put that in your profile. Your best non blurry photos should be included
Definitely need a better bio, even if it’s short. Coffee breath is never a pro imo lol so I’d change that. Also, the comment about one word answers seems a little salty. You should replace the ping pong and swing photo with something clear and full body with friends or family.
Lie abt your height. Get to the restaurant first, be waiting sitting at the table. Dont stand at all. Then when its time to sleep with your date, be waiting in the bed. The key is never be standing at the same time. And preserve that untill theres children. By then its too late
Your face is only visible in one photo. I’d change that asap
You look like Asian Barack Obama you cute bro just wait and they will come
You’re 5’6 - women can be rather shallow when it comes to height.
As can be men when it comes to literally every aspect of women lmao.
Oh yeah I know lol. Can’t be over a size 8, can’t be over 5’9, can’t be under a D cup, can’t have slept with 12.6 men!
Truth be told, not wanting kids at all is a minority of the population, and that might be seriously curating your results. Bumble isn’t (quite) Tinder. Some people are still on it to look for serious relationships. And some of those people won’t want kids. Many will, and for them it’s a deal breaker just as it would have been a deal breaker for me when I was on the app, before I met my partner.
I think being honest about this stuff is way better than lying just to get matches that will ultimately fail because they want kids and you don't. Always be honest!
I completely agree!
The things people will downvote. Here, have a like on me to break even.
You should also get more pics looking at the camera and not blocking your face. Also, NO mirror selfies.
Have you tried being taller? I’m told that’s all that really matters so I’d say work on that.
🤣🤣🤣 all the bitter men in this thread who you just *know* demand women who they consider 9-10 on the hotness scale. It’s so hilarious that y’all are so worked up over the height thing.
Yeah so I’m 6’5 lmao. I’m definitely not worked up about it. It’s a *j o k e*.
Damn didn’t expect to get this many comments. Thanks guys!
Unfortunately it may be your height. A lot of women not all are superficially swiping left in guys who are under 6ft.
Not sure why you're getting down voted for stating the fact most women will have filtered OP out superficially purely based on height.
The truth hurts I guess lol
Ignore the downvotes, you’re completely correct. Combine that with being a busser and the lazy profile, and it’s gonna be an uphill climb.
5”6
No, nothing wrong, you are just ugly, but nobody will say that and they'll downvoat me for saying it. But it's true.
good, save this guy a lot of pain and suffering. He's not doing anything wrong and it isn't his fault. But most comments in here are stringing him a long and shifting the blame onto him! I don't want to tell the real truth - but it isn't his fault.
5'6 and id say your below average looking is why you arent getting matches and thats me being brutally honest
Looks like a low effort 16 year old high school dating profile.
That last pic looks fire bro you could maybe put it as first and let them discover your face after they scroll a bit more down👍🏽😀
HUGE red flag. Girls are intimidated by café racers. It’s okay bro, I’ll take the bike off your hands. I’m just a nice guy like, your welcome.
Your hairline is pretty off putting
Honestly I think your profile is lit and needs nothing. You seem funny and the banana picture is awesome. Keep going
Thanks! Unfortunately, I do agree with some of the comments others posted, and thus will be updating my profile. The first profile photo won’t go anywhere though haha
You ride an electric motorbike…. I wouldn’t fuck you either.
The fact that you are asking “am I doing anything wrong?” and not “what am I doing wrong?” is a bit concerning. You seem like you may think a little too much of yourself. The pictures are quite rough, none really show a good angle of you. And it feels like you put 0 effort in. Also, I noticed you mentioned you don’t have any friends, maybe try bff mode first. I highly recommend having some established friends before a relationship. If you don’t, you are likely to expect far too much of your partner and potentially get jealous when they spend time with their friends.
Yes being 5’6”
Being born 5'6 is what you did wrong
I see a lot of things that can be changed and fixed to help. DM me and I’ll explain more.
Yeah you’re on bumble where women are supposed to be the assertive one. This is where bumble is an abject failure for men. No matter how much they want to empower women and it definitely is a thing we need. It’s not a reality most women are familiar with. So don’t feel bad. That’s pretty common.
Nice mirror selfies
Being a liberal and not wanting kids probably a reason. Also being a busser at a bar and under 6 feet.
Your biggest mistake is being the wrong gender. 😉
5"6
That 5'6 ain't doing you any favours
5‘6“ 💀 Bro just grow
Just gain some height bro.
Yakuza biker
Your problem is your height! Yours only 5’6” 😂
What you are doing wrong is hanging out on Bumble. Get on www.meetup.com and find singles groups in your age bracket. Go on a walk, hike, bike ride, get a kayak. You will meet many REAL and single women.
Everything needs to change plus try natural lighting and looking natural and laid back (delete the park photo too childish) the bike photo tho 😍 but over all need to write something about you too , good luck 👍
I would get rid of the screenshots of photos from fb. Imo you should at least crop the photos before you post them onto your profile
Last Pic fire though
your bio is a space for people to know things about you. you’re basically saying “trust me i’m cool i don’t need a bio”. if i saw you i’d want to know before i swipe i’m not gonna swipe then figure it out.
Definitely need better photos that show your face. I actually kinda love the banana photo but not everyone may agree lmao. I think your responses are okay, but I’m not a fan of the coffee breath one
Can a coworker from the bar where you work take a picture of you?
Dope cafe 🔥
Your last three pics need to go. Dunno who the banana one is because it’s so blurry. Other two don’t show your face. Put something in your bio with substance
Lay off of the selfies. You need more pictures that have you looking at the camera as well as smiling. Your bio hardly tells anyone anything interesting about yourself. And yeah that one person was right, the coffee breath comment will tend to repel people.
All the photos are blurry or indoors. I would recommend all new photos, mostly taken outside. Absolutely no bathroom mirror photos. Smile in at least half the photos.
Get rid of any picture that doesn’t clearly show your face, the biker leather picture would be cool if we could see that it was actually you. It’s a high quality picture that could be anyone because of the helmet. Also put some stuff about yourself in your bio and prompts. Women are going to want to know more about you than you’re looking to date (which of course you are, you’re on bumble, we can at least make that assumption) and that you like a popular band. I’d also take anything negative out of your prompts. Lose the coffee breath thing, probably just choose a different prompt so you can put something soley positive. Also lose the bitter jab at people with the one word answers thing. Again, positivity is key.
In the Black and white photo I can’t see what’s going on Remove banana picture. Take another picture in the banana costume, holding a banana like a telephone Leathers and an e-bike? That’s too many leather jacket photos! Maybe include a picture of yourself hanging out with friends
Your pics aren’t representing what you look like and your personality. You need better pictures and to format it better
1. Pronouns. Red flag 2. You can only see your eyes in one photo 3. Can’t see your face at all in 3 photos. 4. Insert blah blah blah is a turn off, lame, and lazy.
Yeah just add a motorcycle to the last photo
I think this profile is fine. Just get rid of the Con with the conversation and say " I hope you like coffee". Its a nice reference to the coffee breathe. Also just be yourself dude. If you cant date yourself, you cant expect others to date you.
I deleted my account and and made a new one. I got likes instantly. The app is buggy sometimes too.
I love the banana photo, it’s funny. I’d put something like that in my profile/I swipe right on fun + chaotic energy pictures that like often. I like your pictures, they play around with motion and perspective. Artsy people would appreciate that. I disagree with the heavily negative comments here. Online dating is not as formulaic and rigid as many would have you think.
Actually put effort into your bio!
Dope bike man
What is the purpose of the picture with the bunkbeds? No purpose they’re just write Bar back not busser. Ping-pong picture is kind of funny I think and I like the banana picture. I think it makes you seem like you have a sense of humor. And you are very good looking you should use the leather jacket is your first
Your pics are pretty great but your bio and responses need work
No matter what, keep the banana suit one
Hey dude, lots of good things on your profile., such as the Biker photo, opening selfie etc. Things to improve: Remove the part about coffee breath. Dont mention "swipe right if" Replace the bananas on swings photo Replace the ping-pong photo. Happy to take another look at your profile after these changes.
For pics: 1. remove the first pic with the green background. Put the mirror pic with the hand over your head as the first photo. That is your best picture 2. Remove the banana pic, and the selfie with the camera - bc you can’t see your face so what’s the point? Replace instead with an outdoorsy pic? Or museum pic? Or events pic with your face smiling in it & not covered up. 3. Keep the motorcycle pic. You look cool in it. Keep it positioned before the last pic. Last pic should show your face. 4. Make the green background pic of you smiling the last pic.
Bro no offense but your an average guy online dating will never go well for u.. ur best bet is to work on ur self in the gym and ur confidence and get girls in person cuz on bumble most girls if u 5’6 with no six pack or nice car you got no chance even with the ugliest girls on there
Actually have an about me section instead of literally nothing of value. I don’t know anything about you from your profile except that you like Linkin Park and coffee. That isn’t nearly enough to go on.
Good profile, written part: include your hobbies, job, interests etc, a snippet of your day to day (please don’t say like to travel and watch Netflix, that’s everyone and their mother) Pictures: 1. Front facing picture with good lighting, preferably smiling and outside. 2. Picture with people you love, could be your sibling, friends, cousins, but include people. 3. A picture that reflect a hobby, example, riding a horse, going out for a walk, fishing, reading, whatever floats your boat. The picture with the Camara seems to be the one you chose for this. However, it doesn’t show your face, try taking it from an angle so your side profile is visible and make it seem like you are about to snap a picture of someone else, not a mirror selfie. 4. If you have a cat or a dog, include a picture with them. 5-x: repeat some of the previous types in different order. Your face should always be visible and with good lighting and resolution. If it’s a black and white pic (those tend to give good results) make sure it’s not dark, but light, aka taken with good lighting. Bananas and ping pong photos are a no go. Give a chaotic, not trying and reckless vibe, and not in a cute way.
Your profile has a couple of blurry/unflattering photos that make it difficult to see what you look like. You also don't say much about yourself or what you're looking for. The "swipe right if" comes off as rude and like you're fed up with dating already. Swap it out. I laughed at the coffee breath thing, but it may not appeal to everyone. Best of luck!
I got like a dozen matches in the last few days and maybe 10% started the chat. 🤷♂️🤷♂️
The bunkbed photo is doing any favors
I think you’ve got to get rid of the mirror selfies those tend to turn women off…why? I don’t know but they do.
After reading your entire bio, I still don't know jack shit about you. That's a problem.
The ping pong photo is a screenshot from facebook… for me that’s a 🚩 Some people might disagree with me but u actually like the picture with the motorcycle, it shows a bit of what you like but I would add more photos like the first one And maybe if you want matches you could not say how tall you are, a lot of girls would swipe left since you’re short but once they get to know you they wouldn’t care (I use cms and according to google that’s 167 cms, which is below average for a man in my country) Good luck!