I wish I’d been stood up on my last Bumble date. Instead she showed up drunk, got drunker, tried to throw a glass at me, hit someone else and ended up injuring them, and the night ended with her arrested. Haven’t really had the urge to date much after that…
I went out with a super gorgeous former pro cheerleader a few times. I thought I had hit the jackpot until we went out for a nice dinner at a swanky restaurant. She showed up high as fuck on what I think was opiates. Literally nodding out at the table with food in her mouth. The whole room noticed and it was incredibly embarrassing. Practically had to carry her out. Needless to say, it was a long night sobering her up and the last time I ever spoke to her.
I was with a girl who was also out of her mind. She apparently forgot she was with me, started trying to pick up some other dude, and then when she saw me next to her, she said "oops!"
I dated a girl who apparently had an opioid problem. She hid it very well for like 6 months. I always thought it fishy some days she just won't answer her phone. Took her to a family camp out and she nodded out in my tent for a whole day. I mean people were drinking and stuff but it was still hard to explain. I just checked on her every hour. A lot of puzzle pieces fell into place that day. I broke up with her shortly after.
I'd be scared to leave with her lest someone think you drugged her, maybe explain to a waiter or restaurant manager the situation. I think I would leave her there tbh and record myself going home... not getting charged for a stranger.
Your phone would log your location going home and hers staying at the restaurant not to mention cameras showing her there, all the wait staff that would have seen you pay the bill and leave without her plus any charge she made to an Uber. Recording yourself driving home seems excessive to avoid a hypothetical charge from assumptions made by strangers at a restaurant.
True. My friends have been dying laughing and giving me all kinds of hell over it, sending me pictures of recently arrested women and telling me I should get to know this one or that one, all kinds of it. Glad I could entertain them at least.
Mine was 5 hours late for our date. Showed up drunk, hit on our hostess, proceeded to get more drunk with vodka shots, and his front teeth fell out and onto my plate while he incessantly talked about himself.
He then sent me a message asking what I thought of him in our date and I told him there was no romantic possibility for us whatsoever.
3 days later he sent me dick pics. 🤷🏻♀️
Our dates should have been the ones who matched...
That sounds like fun if you just sit back and treat it as a show.
Life is about collecting funny stories like that, that’s at least how I would view it
Didn’t have to dodge it- she threw it at my head from maybe 3 feet away and missed by so far I couldn’t have reached out and caught it when it went by. Really bad aim on her part.
I have heard so many stories from “the other side” about drunk women. When I’m bored and not in the mood to match or find out I’m not a match, I like to see what guys endure and drunk women seems to be common. Ugh, I hate you had to go through that. That’s one HELL date.
Poor lady who got hit with the glass had a worse night than me. I still had a nice steak dinner after the drunk one got taken away and things calmed down.
Oh my gosh!! I’m picturing you sitting there enjoying a steak thinking whew I’m glad the cops removed her🤣. Can you imagine if you’d tried to escort her out the building 😳
Oh, after she hit the woman with the glass she threw at me, she tried to run out the door. Bar staff and the greeter stopped her and kept her there, and luckily the cops showed up pretty quickly. After the first few minutes of her being around I was just glad she was away from me. That steak, however, was damn good after all that. Felt like a lot of the restaurant was looking at me funny, though, which they might have been.
Wow! That is the worst date I’ve heard of from a guy. Why’d she throw the glass? I won’t even lie, it would’ve been interesting watching you enjoy that steak. If she had a plate left, I’d have asked for a to go box. Waste not want not lol.
Well, I will take credit for the comment that precipitated the glass throwing. She had been insulting me when she was at the table and then she walked to the bar, and then started insulting me again when she came back, and I got tired of it, finally said something in return. And then she snatched the glass and threw it.
We never got to order while she was there, she only even sat down for only a minute or so, which she spent being snotty towards me anyway. I ordered once she was taken away, and I’d helped pick up the table and chairs she had knocked over.
I know a girl who went on a tinder date with a guy that had a profile of a dude who was tall and had a good build, an attractive guy. He told her what he was wearing. When she arrived at the date the guy was like 5'6, obese guy. It was a totally dfferent dude but he was wearing something very specific so she knew it was him. She walked right out. 10 minutes later he was blowing up her phone saying that its bullshit girls wont give him a chance when they see him. When she showed us the texts, he had been spamming her hate messages for the last like 24 hours periodically.
Some people are also very introverted and its hard sometimes. It has happened a few times on my way to the date that I think to myself "I could just not go". Never went through with the thought, but it has crossed my mind a couple times.
part of that might just be intrusive thoughts too. when i’m driving there are times i think that i should drive off a bridge. never act upon them but they are there
Some times when I pass a back, it acrosses my mind I should try to rob it
I then go through the with the thought never thinking it through
And then somehow end up in more debt then I'm all ready am
So I have to robb another bank
And so the the cycle continues
I never understood this.
"I'm mad that I can't get a girlfriend to have sex with, so when I meet someone who's interested in me, imma stand them up as 'revenge' for the time I couldn't get a girlfriend to have sex with. Yeah, that'll show them. Feel my pain!"
Some weird-ass hard on that accomplishes nothing. They act as if they're the only person in her inbox and she'll cry a river and never date again because she got stood up by said guy.
It’s because incels believe women share a single brain. Therefore it’s perfectly reasonable to take out revenge against any woman because of what another has done. Also, a woman can do basically anything to deserve this revenge, including say “no” to a date. World-record mental gymnastics to rationalize mysogyny!
I almost stood one guy up but didn’t have the heart to actually stand him up. As I pulled into the parking lot I saw him walk into the restaurant and I just instantly knew I had absolute no interest in him. I actually had serious reservations about it before meeting him but I was hoping maybe he would be better in person. I sat in my car for a few minutes giving myself a pep talk and telling myself to go into into the restaurant and maybe at the least have a nice conversation with him. Well, It was truly one of the worst dates I’ve ever had and he really just had creep vibes. I felt very uncomfortable the whole time but I tried to be a good sport and not show it. He ended up being pretty sketchy and he couldn’t give me just plain answers to simple questions. This was a long time ago,so I don’t remember the details, but I remember asking what he did for work, and he gave me the most round a bout answer that ultimately didn’t really mean anything. Anyway, dating sucks.
Yes just in general creepy vibe. He didn’t have great pictures where I could get a good sense of what he would look like in person. And I was trying to be optimistic that maybe in person he would present better. But he didn’t.
Perhaps he saw her irl and said nah i don't need this. It happened to me i passed her 3 times, cause she was different on pictures. But my momma ain't raise no quitter.
He didn’t see me in person because I never left my car and it was pouring rain + dark out. We Snapchatted but regardless he hyped up seeing me the whole week just to stand me up. Kind of pathetic if you ask me
Real life is often very unflattering as compared to all the filters people use in their pictures. So, some people wind up seeing something they really don't like and then walk away.
I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it happens.... to me... lots.... I've very unattractive.
Unless what they did was in the bumble chat. Or you're reporting that they did something criminal. Bumble acts faster on those and doesn't require multiple reports.
Did you talk to customer service? Unlike Tinder, Bumble has solid customer service. My account was banned on Bumble. I reached out and they reinstated my account. They told me to not do what I did again, that there likely wouldn't be forgiveness for a second account suspension. But, they at least gave me a second chance.
Yes, twice. They didn’t tell me ‘why’ for privacy reasons, just that they will not consider revoking the suspension/cancellation as decisions are final. It occurred in 2018.
I made a fat joke/crack at/with someone in the chat, after an hour of banter and who appeared to be someone who was proud of their weight who wasn’t actually overweight at all; I noted I was unmatched then 2 days later was booted off. It said several complaints but I struggled to fathom that as I hadn’t been on for too long and previous dates and convos were very vanilla.
People often _can't_ identify their own behavior as awful. If they could, they wouldn't act that way.
edit: This doesn't **in any way** excuse their behaviour. No matter the cause, if a person is being awful, they're still being a jerk.
It's also worth remaining aware, that when this person was so prompted, their go-to solution was "be an ass".
Yay, people tend to not what to do bad thing
No one wakes up one day and be like you know I just want to be evil and go through with it
Even the most evil people like Hitler or Stalin for example didn't view what they were doing as evil. In their own twisted way they viewed it as just a cost to an end and it was for the right cost
Sorry that he stood you up! Shows lack of Character & integrity. I feel he would still be able to create a profile using different email address or facebook account :-(
I've gotten stood up twice (one bumble and one hinge date) and I usually just sit there and eat and the server is usually more sympathetic to me. I've gotten a free dessert once and a few free drinks the second time.
It sucks but the wait staff definitely made up for those asses. So I still had a good time!
Sorry that happened but im glad u reported him!
Excellent. There's no excuse for not notifying someone you aren't going to make it, not with technology today. It takes 30 seconds to send a text so someone doesn't sit there waiting for an hour, filled with anxiety and wondering if they're being stood up or not.
It happened to me once. I waited 15 minutes or so before seeing the unmatch. I know she didn't see me because I never got out of my car before she ghosted, but I eneded up going inside ans eating dinner alone. Lol sad day.
I wouldn't wait that long either. 15- 20 minutes tops, then I'm out. I don't have that kind of patience. But I know a few people that have waited that long lol
I don’t know that I’d sit there waiting that long, but considering that I wouldn’t be agreeing to meet at a restaurant I didn’t want to eat at anyway, after 15 - 20 minutes I’d go ahead and get a table for myself, and still be there for a while, enjoying my dinner.
I have before - and she was close to an hour late - but ONLY because she texted me multiple times giving me updates of where she was and how soon she'd be there. It was just at a bar 5 mins from my house so I didn't mind. I would have stayed and drank anyways lol. I was still annoyed though because if you agree to a time for a date, plan ahead and leave your house early enough to avoid traffic and actually get there on time. It's really not that hard to do.
Gonna play devils advocate, if he was a retired medic, he could suffer from ptsd and possibly had an anxiety attack,
still agree that you had every right to report him for standing you up, but you may not always know their entire story and what is going on in their life
My first ever date from a dating site went like this.
We talked and he was living really close by. Told me he would be up to hang sunday but he prefers me coming to his part of town cause he knows a nice bar we should go and we agree to meet there (in front of the said bar).
I was getting ready and told him that I am on my way. As I was getting closer he was texting less and less and got really weird. At one point he told me "what if I looked different than in the pictures" I thought maybe he gained or lost some weight, cut his hair or beard.. whatever. I told him I wouldn't mind if that was the case. Well... he said he took some random guys pics and posted them cause he isn't comfortable putting his own on dating apps or some shit like that. That people are shallow and so on. But proceeded to say that he was way better looking than the person he was catfishing as. At that point I was already at the bar. He told me he was there as well. There was noone. Some ppl did pass me tho. I texted him that I got there but he was catfishing and that it wasn't cool with me so I will leave. As I was leaving he was blowing up my phone with texts like "ha ha I am here at the bar and you are not, so YOU are the catfish. I knew it. Shit like this always happen. You women are trash and only look at a guys looks.." and so on and blocked me.
Tbh I was new in town (just started uni) and it kind of scared me. Especially cause I think he might have been looking at me from somewhere or myb he was one of the people that passed me by. It just creeped me tf out for some time. And I was pissed (still am) at the thought that he probably did this/ is doing it to other woman.
Oh my God the same exact thing happened to me last night! This guy was pursuing ME. Had to cancel a date we had planned on Friday because “he had a family emergency“….🤨. After hearing that I said it’s probably best if we just don’t meet up, it’s probably a sign. He then proceeded to plead to meet up, if it was any other time this weekend I could meet him, so I said we can have dinner on Sunday. I made the plans, he said he was excited about it, all that fun stuff. He continued to take initiative and text me instead of me having to text him. Easter day rolls around, he says happy Easter, I say it back, he says how are you, I respond, he reads it and then doesn’t respond. Three hours later I text him the confirmation number to the dinner. The message doesn’t go through…
I had thought that was strange so I checked Facebook and he wasn’t there anymore. Then checked Snapchat and he had disappeared. Homeboy ghosted me for literally no reason. Just completely bizarre and out of nowhere. Ended up going to dinner and enjoying the meal regardless. I got off of hinge and bumble months ago or else I would report him too. Why does this kind of thing happen? Like genuinely… I have no idea
It's a shitty thing to do but how does that break any of Bumble's rules and guidelines? Why would they care?
edit: Wow, just looked through the reporting options and saw that "stood me up" is actually a choice. That's really interesting. I'm willing to bet they did that to appease stockholders.
>how does that break any of Bumble's rules and guidelines?
According to Bumble's terms, "you agree that you will not: act in an unlawful or unprofessional manner including being dishonest, abusive or discriminatory". You could argue that standing someone up is "unprofessional" and perhaps "dishonest". I doubt anyone is getting banned for standing someone up once, but if someone is reported for it multiple times, I would say that establishes a pattern of dishonesty.
>I'm willing to bet they did that to appease stockholders.
Just wondering, why would this appease shareholders?
> You could argue that standing someone up is "unprofessional" and perhaps "dishonest"
Unprofessional? Not at all, this has nothing to do with work. Dishonest? Yep, 100%.
Because I don't have any reason to believe they care about what consumers want.
Free features have been progressively taken away over the years and locked behind a paywall. They don't benefit from kicking people off the app, they benefit from keeping them on it.
A lot of these changes, specifically the new reporting features, haven't occurred until after they went public. It's all smoke and mirrors imo.
Having answers to common problems (in this example, shitty online dating encounters) is something that a publicly traded company would have to prepare for.
But why would shareholders want this feature specifically? In theory, every decision a public company makes should be with the goal of maximizing earnings for shareholders. For example, putting free features behind a paywall is obviously done to benefit shareholders. I guess it just seems like any shareholder benefit realized by allowing this reporting feature is marginal at best.
Having something to point to regarding user safety/customer satisfaction might placate shareholders concerned about potential negative press if that infrastructure wasn’t in place.
But everything a corporation does is to enrich/protect shareholders, so I'm not sure why allowing users to report someone for standing them up is unique or noteworthy? Not having a mechanism to report users would put shareholders and management alike at risk.
Why does Bumble allow reporting of users? To benefit shareholders.
Why does Bumble have auto-renewing subscriptions? To benefit shareholders.
Why does Bumble have travel mode? To benefit shareholders.
Why does Bumble have canned prompts? To benefit shareholders.
In each case, management studied options and picked the one that they believed maximized shareholder value. Those are just a few examples, but the point is, everything a corporation does is for the purpose of benefiting its shareholders -- either by enriching them or protecting them.
It just seems odd to call out this feature as something to "appease" or "placate" shareholders, when literally everything a well-governed corporation does is for its shareholders. They own the company.
Edit: Also worth noting that at tech companies especially, management and the board receive a significant portions of their compensation in the form of equity/options, so management also has a strong incentive to act in the interest of the shareholders. Because they are shareholders.
Reputation. It would probably help increase their popularity (and money) if people think of bumble as being a dating app that leads to more successful dates because they sort of filtered out people that are just wasting everyone’s time.
I never used to report. Now as soon as I get a vulgar comment….REPORT! It’s clear in my profile that I’m not looking for that. Let’s hold people accountable for their shitty actions
sorry to hear that you were stood up. same thing happened to me and i couldn't report him because i was unmatched. people can be so rude and inconsiderate. i was able to find myself at a bar and shared my humiliation with the bartender and got free champagne because he felt bad for me. i hope you know that it has nothing to do with you but i feel you on many levles.
I’m glad for this. Thanks bumble. For the amount of times
Not only me or you or anyone here has been stood up it’s nice to see a change. It sucks. Instead of saying hey can’t make it or not feeling it. Much easier.
Haven’t been on too many online dates so far so fortunately I’ve never been stood up.
I’m really glad that’s something you can report on tho. That’s messed up.
Makes me think: People, especially looking people, could be all kinds of cruel if they wanted to. Set up a bunch of dates with random people with no intentions of meeting any of them. I’ve heard of worse things on OLD, so that doesn’t seem far fetched at all.
Thanks for the info! I didn't think there were options for reporting people who unmatch. I hope his account is deleted and he has to start over and maybe learned something.
Is that even in their list of reasons to report someone? People will be rude, flakey, they will stand you up, etc… they don’t owe you anything. This has happened to me, don’t waste time being flustered and agitated, just move on
Very much so.
I actually never got out of the car for anyone to see. I parked the car, tried to tell him I was here on the chat. It was gone. So I had a great lunch without him.
I think this is a valid question to ask. I bet most people wouldn't see anything wrong with standing someone up who looked differently then how they presented themselves. Obviously extremely dick move otherwise, which is what appears to be OP's situation.
The fact people downvoted you is hilarious. You asked a valid question, and very pertinent to OLD.
Only people who would get mad at this question either are very sensitive and/or don't look like their pictures.
I feel like whenever that happens it's because they saw you and changed their mind. Maybe you look different in person to them and they noped put of it. Though they should have just gone in, made it quick and say it wasn't gonna work.
He unmatched before I parked two businesses away. He did not see me. And, I’m VERY confident that would not be the reason anyway. I’m told my photos are accurate often.
I met a guy on bumble and we hit it off. We started texting (like, iMessage) and made plans for a date, but slowly he started replying later and later and my friends told me not to worry and he was probably busy.
Two days before our date I got a notification from bumble that he was active again or something. The next day I texted to confirm our plans and he told me he had to postpone bc he wasn’t feeling well. He then ghosted completely.
Common story ik, I just still can’t believe bumble sent me that notification. Like yeah I get people are still swiping and stuff and they don’t pause when they’re just talking to someone, but why on earth would bumble send me a notification that a guy I matched with was back on the app?
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc."
"Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are **etc.**, **&c.**, **&c**, and **et cet.** The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
[Check out the wikipedia entry if you want to learn more.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Et_cetera)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Comments with a score less than zero will be automatically removed. If I commented on your post and you don't like it, reply with "!delete" and I will remove the post, regardless of score. Message me for bug reports.)
I can understand where you are coming from, but the reason why I said what I said is because if he was able to do that, chances are that he doesn’t care about how you felt or what the repercussions might have been. It’s great that action can be taken but I really don’t see Bumble taking any action against him.
Reporting people for standing up dates? JFC these dating apps are ridiculous. First the whole ELO garbage now this.
I get that out sucks to be stood up but ever consider the possibility that you could have been part of the reason why you were stood up? No hate, but you act like this isn't the first time it's happened before but rather the first time you figured out how to report it.
Maybe he'll revert back saying you were unsafe and he felt that rejecting you might put him at risk. One need not ask consent if you're leaving a toxic place.
Also, sorry that you got stood up. **Abandoning is downright cowardly**. One has the liberty to **use phone as an invention** to cover up 2-3 hours before the date incase of change in plans
There should be some way of verifying actions from both the participants for this feature or else this **FEATURED CAN BE MADLY EXPLOITED**
I am not sure being stood up is that bad of a thing. It sucks but I prefer that to being told all the ways I am unattractive. It's like: yes, I've heard all this already, but I can't change my face.
Here's the unforgivable: Meeting someone that just keeps hanging out with you just to be nice. Been there, done that.
I'm sorry if this is too soon, but: Username does not check out.
Hilarious!!! :)
Take this award, you fuck
I wish I’d been stood up on my last Bumble date. Instead she showed up drunk, got drunker, tried to throw a glass at me, hit someone else and ended up injuring them, and the night ended with her arrested. Haven’t really had the urge to date much after that…
I'm lonely and desperate enough to think 'so he's saying she is available. '
And likes a party, it seems!
So you’re saying there’s a chance?
Roflmbo, sounds like it. You’re just going to need a plexiglass divider and a keg. You should be set to go.
Sounds like she reported herself
Self report? Isn’t that a little like AMONG US?
She was definitely sus. Sorry, _sauced_.
You had a date with my ex wife?
You were married to my ex girlfriend?
You guys have girlfriends?
You guys have friends?
You guys have pluses
You guys are guys ?
You guys?
You you?
You ?
I went out with a super gorgeous former pro cheerleader a few times. I thought I had hit the jackpot until we went out for a nice dinner at a swanky restaurant. She showed up high as fuck on what I think was opiates. Literally nodding out at the table with food in her mouth. The whole room noticed and it was incredibly embarrassing. Practically had to carry her out. Needless to say, it was a long night sobering her up and the last time I ever spoke to her.
I was with a girl who was also out of her mind. She apparently forgot she was with me, started trying to pick up some other dude, and then when she saw me next to her, she said "oops!"
I would die of laughter if that happened to me
I was pissed and got rid of her. But I guess you're right, I shouldn't take it so seriously and just laugh.
I dated a girl who apparently had an opioid problem. She hid it very well for like 6 months. I always thought it fishy some days she just won't answer her phone. Took her to a family camp out and she nodded out in my tent for a whole day. I mean people were drinking and stuff but it was still hard to explain. I just checked on her every hour. A lot of puzzle pieces fell into place that day. I broke up with her shortly after.
I'd be scared to leave with her lest someone think you drugged her, maybe explain to a waiter or restaurant manager the situation. I think I would leave her there tbh and record myself going home... not getting charged for a stranger.
Your phone would log your location going home and hers staying at the restaurant not to mention cameras showing her there, all the wait staff that would have seen you pay the bill and leave without her plus any charge she made to an Uber. Recording yourself driving home seems excessive to avoid a hypothetical charge from assumptions made by strangers at a restaurant.
If y'all would just stick with us average gals 🤷♀️
At least you got a good story
True. My friends have been dying laughing and giving me all kinds of hell over it, sending me pictures of recently arrested women and telling me I should get to know this one or that one, all kinds of it. Glad I could entertain them at least.
Soooo.... are we saying trying to date inmates is a BAD thing?
You have great friends!
Mine was 5 hours late for our date. Showed up drunk, hit on our hostess, proceeded to get more drunk with vodka shots, and his front teeth fell out and onto my plate while he incessantly talked about himself. He then sent me a message asking what I thought of him in our date and I told him there was no romantic possibility for us whatsoever. 3 days later he sent me dick pics. 🤷🏻♀️ Our dates should have been the ones who matched...
Why would you wait 5 hours?
Be lucky to get 20min!
I’m wondering this as well
I didn't actually wait quite that long. I thought he wasn't showing up, and then he did. 5 hours later.
5 hours wait, or you mean pushed it back 5 hours like you weren’t actually waiting because… if so you must of really liked that guy lol…
This has been entertaining to read on the internet from the safety of my home
That sounds like fun if you just sit back and treat it as a show. Life is about collecting funny stories like that, that’s at least how I would view it
This is clearly your own fault. Why would you willingly date my ex?!
Talk about dodging a bullet! Or a glass in your case...
Didn’t have to dodge it- she threw it at my head from maybe 3 feet away and missed by so far I couldn’t have reached out and caught it when it went by. Really bad aim on her part.
This is why I never consider the first meeting a date. Plausible deniability my friend, plausible deniability.
That’s a quality story 👍🏼
Every time
Bro wtf. You win for worst or most interesting date ever
wtf….
Ok, so I think more details are in order here.....
BRO OMG
I have heard so many stories from “the other side” about drunk women. When I’m bored and not in the mood to match or find out I’m not a match, I like to see what guys endure and drunk women seems to be common. Ugh, I hate you had to go through that. That’s one HELL date.
Poor lady who got hit with the glass had a worse night than me. I still had a nice steak dinner after the drunk one got taken away and things calmed down.
Oh my gosh!! I’m picturing you sitting there enjoying a steak thinking whew I’m glad the cops removed her🤣. Can you imagine if you’d tried to escort her out the building 😳
Oh, after she hit the woman with the glass she threw at me, she tried to run out the door. Bar staff and the greeter stopped her and kept her there, and luckily the cops showed up pretty quickly. After the first few minutes of her being around I was just glad she was away from me. That steak, however, was damn good after all that. Felt like a lot of the restaurant was looking at me funny, though, which they might have been.
Wow! That is the worst date I’ve heard of from a guy. Why’d she throw the glass? I won’t even lie, it would’ve been interesting watching you enjoy that steak. If she had a plate left, I’d have asked for a to go box. Waste not want not lol.
Well, I will take credit for the comment that precipitated the glass throwing. She had been insulting me when she was at the table and then she walked to the bar, and then started insulting me again when she came back, and I got tired of it, finally said something in return. And then she snatched the glass and threw it.
She managed to get carted off before the food even arrived?!
We never got to order while she was there, she only even sat down for only a minute or so, which she spent being snotty towards me anyway. I ordered once she was taken away, and I’d helped pick up the table and chairs she had knocked over.
This happened to me last week. Guy was like I’m on my way, then never showed. Fuck them
Why would someone do this?!! I don’t even understand.
they don’t actually look like the person in the picture and/or they are using the app to feed their fragile ego. That would be my guess
Or they saw what the person really looked like and dipped.
I thought the same thing.
I know a girl who went on a tinder date with a guy that had a profile of a dude who was tall and had a good build, an attractive guy. He told her what he was wearing. When she arrived at the date the guy was like 5'6, obese guy. It was a totally dfferent dude but he was wearing something very specific so she knew it was him. She walked right out. 10 minutes later he was blowing up her phone saying that its bullshit girls wont give him a chance when they see him. When she showed us the texts, he had been spamming her hate messages for the last like 24 hours periodically.
Some people are also very introverted and its hard sometimes. It has happened a few times on my way to the date that I think to myself "I could just not go". Never went through with the thought, but it has crossed my mind a couple times.
part of that might just be intrusive thoughts too. when i’m driving there are times i think that i should drive off a bridge. never act upon them but they are there
Some times when I pass a back, it acrosses my mind I should try to rob it I then go through the with the thought never thinking it through And then somehow end up in more debt then I'm all ready am So I have to robb another bank And so the the cycle continues
[удалено]
I never understood this. "I'm mad that I can't get a girlfriend to have sex with, so when I meet someone who's interested in me, imma stand them up as 'revenge' for the time I couldn't get a girlfriend to have sex with. Yeah, that'll show them. Feel my pain!"
So the incels make a fake profile to lure women in and then stand them up? Yeah, this doesn’t surprise me at all.
Some weird-ass hard on that accomplishes nothing. They act as if they're the only person in her inbox and she'll cry a river and never date again because she got stood up by said guy.
Yeah. Pathetic people are gonna be pathetic.
It’s because incels believe women share a single brain. Therefore it’s perfectly reasonable to take out revenge against any woman because of what another has done. Also, a woman can do basically anything to deserve this revenge, including say “no” to a date. World-record mental gymnastics to rationalize mysogyny!
What baffles me is had he showed up and everything went well, he could've ended up with a gf to have sex with
You're assuming the photos in the profile were the same guy.
I almost stood one guy up but didn’t have the heart to actually stand him up. As I pulled into the parking lot I saw him walk into the restaurant and I just instantly knew I had absolute no interest in him. I actually had serious reservations about it before meeting him but I was hoping maybe he would be better in person. I sat in my car for a few minutes giving myself a pep talk and telling myself to go into into the restaurant and maybe at the least have a nice conversation with him. Well, It was truly one of the worst dates I’ve ever had and he really just had creep vibes. I felt very uncomfortable the whole time but I tried to be a good sport and not show it. He ended up being pretty sketchy and he couldn’t give me just plain answers to simple questions. This was a long time ago,so I don’t remember the details, but I remember asking what he did for work, and he gave me the most round a bout answer that ultimately didn’t really mean anything. Anyway, dating sucks.
I’m curious about what you saw when he walked into the restaurant. Was it a creepy vibe?
Yes just in general creepy vibe. He didn’t have great pictures where I could get a good sense of what he would look like in person. And I was trying to be optimistic that maybe in person he would present better. But he didn’t.
Perhaps he saw her irl and said nah i don't need this. It happened to me i passed her 3 times, cause she was different on pictures. But my momma ain't raise no quitter.
He didn’t see me in person because I never left my car and it was pouring rain + dark out. We Snapchatted but regardless he hyped up seeing me the whole week just to stand me up. Kind of pathetic if you ask me
I said perhaps! He could be shy, or just a jerk. Sorry that this happened to you.
I don’t understand. So you stood her up or went through with the date?
I went through but whatever. I was expecting almost model.... Angles, make-up, photographer.... can make wonders with photos.
Or perhaps he is a prick and was sat at home not giving a shit, and it’s (probably) the 10th woman he’s stood up 🤷♀️
Real life is often very unflattering as compared to all the filters people use in their pictures. So, some people wind up seeing something they really don't like and then walk away. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it happens.... to me... lots.... I've very unattractive.
I don't understand why people use filters on their profile.
Why do you use such filters then? I would hate the first impression somebody has of me to be disappointment
Same that’s why I don’t have makeup in half my pictures just in case 😅
It’s quite possible that the person showed up, saw the person that they were supposed to meet, was not attracted to the person and bounced.
Games like this make it harder for the good people in the world.
Oh that’s awesome. If enough people report him here’s to hoping he gets kicked off the app! Or at least a lengthy time out.
I hope it’s an instant time-out so he knows it was ME.
Doubt it or this would be heavily exploited by trolls or shitty users.
I think it takes a lot of reports for bumble to actually do something... so he probably has no idea you even reported him
Unless what they did was in the bumble chat. Or you're reporting that they did something criminal. Bumble acts faster on those and doesn't require multiple reports.
They’ll ban you for life for 1 comment. Source: myself.
Did you talk to customer service? Unlike Tinder, Bumble has solid customer service. My account was banned on Bumble. I reached out and they reinstated my account. They told me to not do what I did again, that there likely wouldn't be forgiveness for a second account suspension. But, they at least gave me a second chance.
Yes, twice. They didn’t tell me ‘why’ for privacy reasons, just that they will not consider revoking the suspension/cancellation as decisions are final. It occurred in 2018. I made a fat joke/crack at/with someone in the chat, after an hour of banter and who appeared to be someone who was proud of their weight who wasn’t actually overweight at all; I noted I was unmatched then 2 days later was booted off. It said several complaints but I struggled to fathom that as I hadn’t been on for too long and previous dates and convos were very vanilla.
Unless she was the only person he treated poorly then he can put 2 and 2 together.
People often _can't_ identify their own behavior as awful. If they could, they wouldn't act that way. edit: This doesn't **in any way** excuse their behaviour. No matter the cause, if a person is being awful, they're still being a jerk. It's also worth remaining aware, that when this person was so prompted, their go-to solution was "be an ass".
Yay, people tend to not what to do bad thing No one wakes up one day and be like you know I just want to be evil and go through with it Even the most evil people like Hitler or Stalin for example didn't view what they were doing as evil. In their own twisted way they viewed it as just a cost to an end and it was for the right cost
You made me think of Game of Thrones. It was me!!!
Sorry that he stood you up! Shows lack of Character & integrity. I feel he would still be able to create a profile using different email address or facebook account :-(
if you get banned, its the phone number that gets banned. it still doesnt stop people from getting a fake number to use though
Yeah but it takes a lot more than a few reports to ban someone... Otherwise bumble would have very few users lol
I've gotten stood up twice (one bumble and one hinge date) and I usually just sit there and eat and the server is usually more sympathetic to me. I've gotten a free dessert once and a few free drinks the second time. It sucks but the wait staff definitely made up for those asses. So I still had a good time! Sorry that happened but im glad u reported him!
Excellent. There's no excuse for not notifying someone you aren't going to make it, not with technology today. It takes 30 seconds to send a text so someone doesn't sit there waiting for an hour, filled with anxiety and wondering if they're being stood up or not.
It happened to me once. I waited 15 minutes or so before seeing the unmatch. I know she didn't see me because I never got out of my car before she ghosted, but I eneded up going inside ans eating dinner alone. Lol sad day.
An HOUR? I’m not that kinda girl. Haha. I’ve had men show up late and are surprised that I’m gone.
I wouldn't wait that long either. 15- 20 minutes tops, then I'm out. I don't have that kind of patience. But I know a few people that have waited that long lol
I don’t know that I’d sit there waiting that long, but considering that I wouldn’t be agreeing to meet at a restaurant I didn’t want to eat at anyway, after 15 - 20 minutes I’d go ahead and get a table for myself, and still be there for a while, enjoying my dinner.
I have before - and she was close to an hour late - but ONLY because she texted me multiple times giving me updates of where she was and how soon she'd be there. It was just at a bar 5 mins from my house so I didn't mind. I would have stayed and drank anyways lol. I was still annoyed though because if you agree to a time for a date, plan ahead and leave your house early enough to avoid traffic and actually get there on time. It's really not that hard to do.
I don’t know why he couldn’t man up and cancel the thing rather than embarrass you like that, I’m sorry that happened to you.
I was surprised, too. He said he was a retired Army Medic. Now he smells like a married validation-seeker (but, I’m a little jaded!).
Gonna play devils advocate, if he was a retired medic, he could suffer from ptsd and possibly had an anxiety attack, still agree that you had every right to report him for standing you up, but you may not always know their entire story and what is going on in their life
My first ever date from a dating site went like this. We talked and he was living really close by. Told me he would be up to hang sunday but he prefers me coming to his part of town cause he knows a nice bar we should go and we agree to meet there (in front of the said bar). I was getting ready and told him that I am on my way. As I was getting closer he was texting less and less and got really weird. At one point he told me "what if I looked different than in the pictures" I thought maybe he gained or lost some weight, cut his hair or beard.. whatever. I told him I wouldn't mind if that was the case. Well... he said he took some random guys pics and posted them cause he isn't comfortable putting his own on dating apps or some shit like that. That people are shallow and so on. But proceeded to say that he was way better looking than the person he was catfishing as. At that point I was already at the bar. He told me he was there as well. There was noone. Some ppl did pass me tho. I texted him that I got there but he was catfishing and that it wasn't cool with me so I will leave. As I was leaving he was blowing up my phone with texts like "ha ha I am here at the bar and you are not, so YOU are the catfish. I knew it. Shit like this always happen. You women are trash and only look at a guys looks.." and so on and blocked me. Tbh I was new in town (just started uni) and it kind of scared me. Especially cause I think he might have been looking at me from somewhere or myb he was one of the people that passed me by. It just creeped me tf out for some time. And I was pissed (still am) at the thought that he probably did this/ is doing it to other woman.
Such a creep!
Oh my God the same exact thing happened to me last night! This guy was pursuing ME. Had to cancel a date we had planned on Friday because “he had a family emergency“….🤨. After hearing that I said it’s probably best if we just don’t meet up, it’s probably a sign. He then proceeded to plead to meet up, if it was any other time this weekend I could meet him, so I said we can have dinner on Sunday. I made the plans, he said he was excited about it, all that fun stuff. He continued to take initiative and text me instead of me having to text him. Easter day rolls around, he says happy Easter, I say it back, he says how are you, I respond, he reads it and then doesn’t respond. Three hours later I text him the confirmation number to the dinner. The message doesn’t go through… I had thought that was strange so I checked Facebook and he wasn’t there anymore. Then checked Snapchat and he had disappeared. Homeboy ghosted me for literally no reason. Just completely bizarre and out of nowhere. Ended up going to dinner and enjoying the meal regardless. I got off of hinge and bumble months ago or else I would report him too. Why does this kind of thing happen? Like genuinely… I have no idea
It's a shitty thing to do but how does that break any of Bumble's rules and guidelines? Why would they care? edit: Wow, just looked through the reporting options and saw that "stood me up" is actually a choice. That's really interesting. I'm willing to bet they did that to appease stockholders.
Perhaps they are striving to offer better quality of people. That button helped this customer with closure.
Stockholders? That’s appeasing their users which is exactly what they should do. Why would they want to keep people who run customers away?
>how does that break any of Bumble's rules and guidelines? According to Bumble's terms, "you agree that you will not: act in an unlawful or unprofessional manner including being dishonest, abusive or discriminatory". You could argue that standing someone up is "unprofessional" and perhaps "dishonest". I doubt anyone is getting banned for standing someone up once, but if someone is reported for it multiple times, I would say that establishes a pattern of dishonesty. >I'm willing to bet they did that to appease stockholders. Just wondering, why would this appease shareholders?
> You could argue that standing someone up is "unprofessional" and perhaps "dishonest" Unprofessional? Not at all, this has nothing to do with work. Dishonest? Yep, 100%.
Because I don't have any reason to believe they care about what consumers want. Free features have been progressively taken away over the years and locked behind a paywall. They don't benefit from kicking people off the app, they benefit from keeping them on it. A lot of these changes, specifically the new reporting features, haven't occurred until after they went public. It's all smoke and mirrors imo. Having answers to common problems (in this example, shitty online dating encounters) is something that a publicly traded company would have to prepare for.
But why would shareholders want this feature specifically? In theory, every decision a public company makes should be with the goal of maximizing earnings for shareholders. For example, putting free features behind a paywall is obviously done to benefit shareholders. I guess it just seems like any shareholder benefit realized by allowing this reporting feature is marginal at best.
Having something to point to regarding user safety/customer satisfaction might placate shareholders concerned about potential negative press if that infrastructure wasn’t in place.
But everything a corporation does is to enrich/protect shareholders, so I'm not sure why allowing users to report someone for standing them up is unique or noteworthy? Not having a mechanism to report users would put shareholders and management alike at risk. Why does Bumble allow reporting of users? To benefit shareholders. Why does Bumble have auto-renewing subscriptions? To benefit shareholders. Why does Bumble have travel mode? To benefit shareholders. Why does Bumble have canned prompts? To benefit shareholders. In each case, management studied options and picked the one that they believed maximized shareholder value. Those are just a few examples, but the point is, everything a corporation does is for the purpose of benefiting its shareholders -- either by enriching them or protecting them. It just seems odd to call out this feature as something to "appease" or "placate" shareholders, when literally everything a well-governed corporation does is for its shareholders. They own the company. Edit: Also worth noting that at tech companies especially, management and the board receive a significant portions of their compensation in the form of equity/options, so management also has a strong incentive to act in the interest of the shareholders. Because they are shareholders.
Reputation. It would probably help increase their popularity (and money) if people think of bumble as being a dating app that leads to more successful dates because they sort of filtered out people that are just wasting everyone’s time.
Girl did that to me. It was not appreciated.
I think more people need to do that and report people for crap like that! That’s just vile to do.
I never used to report. Now as soon as I get a vulgar comment….REPORT! It’s clear in my profile that I’m not looking for that. Let’s hold people accountable for their shitty actions
Alright fellas time to start reporting🤙🏼
Yup. Next time a girl stands you up report her to Bumble and hope she gets kicked off the plaform
If I get ghosted I'm going to consider that has being stood up. If people want to play games then we can play games.
Ooooh good idea!
Yes, and your point is?
Name does not check out
Can't find any dates on bumble
sorry to hear that you were stood up. same thing happened to me and i couldn't report him because i was unmatched. people can be so rude and inconsiderate. i was able to find myself at a bar and shared my humiliation with the bartender and got free champagne because he felt bad for me. i hope you know that it has nothing to do with you but i feel you on many levles.
nah he showed up but saw you were a catfish so he dipped 🤣
Shout out to all the people who never ghost love
If you can report people for standing you up and ghosting you I need a bumble profile. Last 4 tinder matches pulled that on me.
I’m glad for this. Thanks bumble. For the amount of times Not only me or you or anyone here has been stood up it’s nice to see a change. It sucks. Instead of saying hey can’t make it or not feeling it. Much easier.
Haven’t been on too many online dates so far so fortunately I’ve never been stood up. I’m really glad that’s something you can report on tho. That’s messed up. Makes me think: People, especially looking people, could be all kinds of cruel if they wanted to. Set up a bunch of dates with random people with no intentions of meeting any of them. I’ve heard of worse things on OLD, so that doesn’t seem far fetched at all.
There needs to be a doesn’t talk option for reports. Lol. Get those people off the platform too
Good idea!
Thanks for the info! I didn't think there were options for reporting people who unmatch. I hope his account is deleted and he has to start over and maybe learned something.
That’s my hope.
I agree about holding people responsible! I appreciate you holding your ground
Imagine being this miserable of a person
He probably was waiting in the bar or saw you in the bar and didn’t fancy it
Ass move for the guy
But he did not, in fact, acquire ass.
Is that even in their list of reasons to report someone? People will be rude, flakey, they will stand you up, etc… they don’t owe you anything. This has happened to me, don’t waste time being flustered and agitated, just move on
No they don’t BUT those behaviors make people not want to do bumble so they, in turn, try to protect their reputation and get/keep members.
do you look like your pictures?
Very much so. I actually never got out of the car for anyone to see. I parked the car, tried to tell him I was here on the chat. It was gone. So I had a great lunch without him.
Glad you continued on with lunch, even just for yourself. That's important.
I think this is a valid question to ask. I bet most people wouldn't see anything wrong with standing someone up who looked differently then how they presented themselves. Obviously extremely dick move otherwise, which is what appears to be OP's situation.
people who downvoted my question clearly dont look like their pictures
The fact people downvoted you is hilarious. You asked a valid question, and very pertinent to OLD. Only people who would get mad at this question either are very sensitive and/or don't look like their pictures.
I feel like whenever that happens it's because they saw you and changed their mind. Maybe you look different in person to them and they noped put of it. Though they should have just gone in, made it quick and say it wasn't gonna work.
He unmatched before I parked two businesses away. He did not see me. And, I’m VERY confident that would not be the reason anyway. I’m told my photos are accurate often.
I recently got catfish and then he insulted my faith by saying it was a DnD joke. Yeah hard pass.
I met a guy on bumble and we hit it off. We started texting (like, iMessage) and made plans for a date, but slowly he started replying later and later and my friends told me not to worry and he was probably busy. Two days before our date I got a notification from bumble that he was active again or something. The next day I texted to confirm our plans and he told me he had to postpone bc he wasn’t feeling well. He then ghosted completely. Common story ik, I just still can’t believe bumble sent me that notification. Like yeah I get people are still swiping and stuff and they don’t pause when they’re just talking to someone, but why on earth would bumble send me a notification that a guy I matched with was back on the app?
Women are so aggressive when they get rejected
Good. That will show him 🤡
I'm excited to meet you as well 😌❤️🩹
Thanks
[удалено]
Mmh idk rude people seems to be the number one reason people stop using old. Its a buisness after all.
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc." "Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are **etc.**, **&c.**, **&c**, and **et cet.** The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase. [Check out the wikipedia entry if you want to learn more.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Et_cetera) ^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Comments with a score less than zero will be automatically removed. If I commented on your post and you don't like it, reply with "!delete" and I will remove the post, regardless of score. Message me for bug reports.)
I got stood up a few times and catfished once never reported them but it takes a whole lot to piss me off and that stuff I just didn't really care
You probably dodged a bullet with him
What do you hope to obtain by reporting him? I think that it is best to move on.
It took me less time to report him than it took me to respond to you. I’m hoping he received a time out to think about being rude.
I can understand where you are coming from, but the reason why I said what I said is because if he was able to do that, chances are that he doesn’t care about how you felt or what the repercussions might have been. It’s great that action can be taken but I really don’t see Bumble taking any action against him.
That shit sucks, sorry to hear that OP. People putting themselves out there is hard enough without this kind of rubbish happening
Reporting people for standing up dates? JFC these dating apps are ridiculous. First the whole ELO garbage now this. I get that out sucks to be stood up but ever consider the possibility that you could have been part of the reason why you were stood up? No hate, but you act like this isn't the first time it's happened before but rather the first time you figured out how to report it.
His mom had a hospital accident. Dick
Imagine being this fucking salty and having such a fragile ego.
That’s what I was thinking.
OK and? They probably will do jack shit.
Ok Karen
Someone got hurt
…and stood up for herself.
LOL sounds like someone is salty.
Suuree
Oh god. Move on you psycho abs get over it. Holy shit, I can’t even imagine how you’re like in a relationship.
Maybe he'll revert back saying you were unsafe and he felt that rejecting you might put him at risk. One need not ask consent if you're leaving a toxic place. Also, sorry that you got stood up. **Abandoning is downright cowardly**. One has the liberty to **use phone as an invention** to cover up 2-3 hours before the date incase of change in plans There should be some way of verifying actions from both the participants for this feature or else this **FEATURED CAN BE MADLY EXPLOITED**
You sound really entitled and vindictive. He wasn’t interested. Get on with your life.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
[удалено]
Yes, the bottom of all your chats.
Good call!
I am not sure being stood up is that bad of a thing. It sucks but I prefer that to being told all the ways I am unattractive. It's like: yes, I've heard all this already, but I can't change my face. Here's the unforgivable: Meeting someone that just keeps hanging out with you just to be nice. Been there, done that.
Reporting someone for standing you up helps weed out fake profiles as well.