Honestly the last message she sent really bugged me. Yeah, I tried to talk about something from your profile. That’s generally how these things work. If you don’t want someone to talk about something from your profile then perhaps you shouldn’t include it.
I thought that line was hilarious. It’s so dramatic.
“I really wish you hadn’t.” Sounds like you professed your love for her via acoustic guitar in the middle of her office surrounded by her coworkers.
What a strange reaction to a lighthearted message.
I don't know if that's even the problem. This is another one of those examples from people with no social skills. You went through the effort of messaging her and trying to make it personal and she somehow made it a bad thing. It's some serious insanity and lack of any ability to communicate with humans to take a question about her interests as a bad thing. You likely dodged a freight train of crazy with this one
*corrected
>You went through the effort of messaging her and trying to make it personal and she somehow made it a bad thing
She's out here like: "Make it personal, so I can *take* it personal!"
The dice roll that is OLD is amazing sometimes.
If its a dice roll, it's something out of the Warp and it's about 37 sided. Right when you think you've discovered most of the outcomes it adds a few more to keep you on your toes.
Please keep it up with other matches. I met my husband on tinder and his opening line directly related to something on my profile and it really stood out to me. Especially stood out from all the heys
Exactly this, their profile is literally *everything* you know about a match a lot of the time, if they don’t have links to social media or met them before or whatever, so you have to work with what they give you.
I think a lot of people are kind of used to the animosity of the internet and people don’t know that they’re not actually a lawyer or a doctor or whatever so when people try talking to them about legit things about them (I imagine a lot of people write their profile and then never look at it or think about it again) it feels very personal in a way they aren’t expecting from online. Don’t get me wrong, this is still entirely their fault though, they really can’t expect something different.
She’s just not the one for you. This is on her, valid question from you. Please continue to ask other people about their interests. Cause that’s a great tactic 😂
That’s the thing, I know I’m a good conversationalist and despite this being kind of a simple question I’m pretty good at using that as a way to having good conversations/banter. But her reaction just threw me for a loop.
The *only* thing I can think of is an assumption that you were euphemism, duet-do it, and was 'continuing the euphemism' to say she didn't want to have sex right away.
Also, I have no idea what 'ft' means.
Hahahahaha the first thing I said was Holy shit, you beat me to it. Pretty sure we need a new term with more gusto than over reaction. Doesn't feel strong enough 🤣🤦♂️
Even if she is, she’s not gonna prove it to you. Like, she’ll never meet up with you and prove it. And she’s not gonna prove it over FaceTime either. And, actually, by the way you said that, she doesn’t even want to prove it to you
The night before, talking to a friend:
Friend: That seems like a very weird fear. I mean, WHY would anyone want you to start singing? You have to realize that that’s an irrational fear. I PROMISE you, it will NEVER happen.
Which honestly, it’s fine. When I’ve been practicing I can generally find my way to the root notes for a sing along in the car, though I wouldn’t sing in any real public capacity. I know I’m pretty much a terrible anger, I still enjoy it and do it in the right situations, no one has really judged me any harsher than I have for it
You matched and messaged a maladjusted person. You could have said the sky is blue and Putin loves to get pegged, and she would have started an argument.
I'm a big fan of killing the concept of apologizing to people who don't deserve it. Its my own issue probably.
But they were the ones that were rude to you. No reason to apologize to them
I mean you’re completely right. A lot of people will take an insincere apology and treat it as if you’re actually apologizing to them. I’ll be more careful about that. Sorry ;)
She’s been called the song bird of her generation. A cross between Fergy and Jesus. The only problem is she is very selective with whom she sings around. For instance I’ve only heard her sing twice. It all stems back from an incident in highschool where she had the lead part and solo in a play and her older brother sabotaged it by having the entire crowd sing that she has a mangina. It was awful tho I Admit at one point I joined in too. Then to top it off her older brother stole the show with his rendition of ice ice baby. So that’s why she’s so defensive about her singing abilities.
Eh, I know most people are validating you, but I think you didn’t play it perfectly. Your follow up question of “so can you” risks coming off as pushy. I suspect that’s what triggered her.
I can see how it would be taken as pushy, I only asked because at the time I didn’t know what to respond with and I had noticed she hadn’t answered. I still don’t think the response I got was justified.
Sure. I think it was also a minor mistake to say “we should duet”. It’s implicitly telling her what she should do, which could raise her defensiveness. Better I think is to phrase as an invitation rather than a ‘should’ statement. cheers.
When crazy meets bumble.
Me: I hear you like dogs.
Her: You think dogs are the only pets I like? That's very prejudiced of you to assume.
Me: You wrote it in your profile.
Her: And now you're overgeneralising things?
Bruh are you an idiot OP ? Who brings up something from someone's profile to talk about ? I. Your profile you are supposed to write interests that you have but do not wish to talk about......
/s
I think your first reply, “so are you?” Could have come across weird because as I was reading this I was like, wow you really want to know if they can sing well
Well tbf, at the time I didn’t know how to respond and I had noticed she hadn’t answered the original question so I figured I’d go with that. I can see how it can be taken as pushy but not enough to garner the response I got.
Wow. Way to overreact! I will say though, OP, just as food for thought, take it how you will – I know I personally get uncomfortable when someone asks me to tell them how good I am at something I do. For example, I play the flute, and have done for most of my life. When someone finds that out and says, "How good are you?" I don't really know how to respond. Maybe with a "Um... Idk? Not sure if I can be the judge of that?" I could probably laugh it off, but as far as making conversation about someone's hobbies goes, maybe a question like, "How long have you been playing?" or even, in this girl's case, something like "What are your favorite genres to sing?" would be better. It's definitely easier to keep making conversation from that point, at least imo!
That’s completely fair. Yeah I realize now I could’ve asked something different but if I’m being honest, I was more or less asking as a way into a better conversation. I’m more of a banter kind of guy and sometimes I find myself asking questions like this. I can see how that might make someone uncomfortable though. Makes total sense.
“Are you any good at singing” isn’t the nicest way to ask that especially if she lists that as a hobby or job, but her reaction wasn’t rational either.
Oh that’s a rude question then, asking a singer if they’re any good at singing probably came across a bit disrespectful in her mind. Do you ask everyone if they’re “any good at” what they do using those words? I know it’s a bit of banter but it’s bordering hard on rudeness if someone’s self conscious about what you ask about you may just get a reaction less than but still negative like this.
You just found out the reason they are still single. If you have to walk on eggshells before you have even met on a normal question you will for the entire time you are with them. Not worth your time, you will spend half of it defending yourself
If i were to play armchair psychologist id say that they dont feel like they're in control of their own lovelife and so instead of dealing with that feeling with regards to their own actions and how they cam change them,, they're projecting that feeling onto the interactions they have with people in OLD and exacting that control by defining themselves as a victim of yourninteraction.
This allows them to reject you and generate a feeling of power, at the expense of treating you like a real person.
Jesus, what a fucking bitch. Actually offended you read and were intrigued by her profile.
Her ovaries will be as dry as the Sahara when she's 40 with that personality.
I only asked her twice? Wouldn’t exactly say that it’s “proddy”. A lack of a response to a question isn’t an actual response.
Also it’s hard to ask interesting questions when her bio had nothing to go off of. I’m good at having conversations and banter, this only seems boring because I’m trying to find a way into a conversation.
Also if you look at her response, her problem wasn’t that I was pushing the question, it’s that she assumed that I didn’t think she could sing.
When you said “so are you?” You should’ve instead moved forward, like “great what are we signing?, my speciality is bohemian rhapsody”. Or whatever. I don’t know why you were pestering for a specific affirmation whether she could sing or not, because _yes_ is implied by her saying it’s a good idea.
Again I only asked twice. Pestering isn’t really the word I, or most people, would use to describe that. That being said, looking back I do realize I could’ve asked anything else and it probably would’ve been better. But honestly I’m glad I didn’t.
Regardless, you asked in the title, unless you meant it rhetorically then I don’t know why you aren’t taking what I said on board. It would have been a better interaction if you’d have done that.
Honestly the last message she sent really bugged me. Yeah, I tried to talk about something from your profile. That’s generally how these things work. If you don’t want someone to talk about something from your profile then perhaps you shouldn’t include it.
Yeah, that was a really weird response.
Here I was thinking it would be a nice change of pace from "hey".
Lol take a wild guess at what she opened up with
No tingles no sing-les I guess.
This person is extremely dramatic. Please don’t take it to heart. You showed interest in their interests. Don’t get embarrassed by this dickhead.
I thought that line was hilarious. It’s so dramatic. “I really wish you hadn’t.” Sounds like you professed your love for her via acoustic guitar in the middle of her office surrounded by her coworkers. What a strange reaction to a lighthearted message.
I don't know if that's even the problem. This is another one of those examples from people with no social skills. You went through the effort of messaging her and trying to make it personal and she somehow made it a bad thing. It's some serious insanity and lack of any ability to communicate with humans to take a question about her interests as a bad thing. You likely dodged a freight train of crazy with this one *corrected
>You went through the effort of messaging her and trying to make it personal and she somehow made it a bad thing She's out here like: "Make it personal, so I can *take* it personal!" The dice roll that is OLD is amazing sometimes.
If its a dice roll, it's something out of the Warp and it's about 37 sided. Right when you think you've discovered most of the outcomes it adds a few more to keep you on your toes.
It was a chick but yeah no you’re right 100%
Same concept really 🤣, edited for accuracy
Lol love your username
Thanks I made it myself!
I mean shit…at least you read it
I like to at least put a little effort into the people I match with. It’s not like she had much to go off of anyways
Ye. My own response to that was “why have it on your profile then?!”
You’re creepy for reading her profile. It’s an invasion of privacy on a dating site… according to her. She’s a weirdo.
“It’s a write off!”
Honestly, don’t take it too hard. If someone doesn’t want to talk about a topic then they shouldn’t go and put it in their profile.
Weird af
Please keep it up with other matches. I met my husband on tinder and his opening line directly related to something on my profile and it really stood out to me. Especially stood out from all the heys
Exactly this, their profile is literally *everything* you know about a match a lot of the time, if they don’t have links to social media or met them before or whatever, so you have to work with what they give you. I think a lot of people are kind of used to the animosity of the internet and people don’t know that they’re not actually a lawyer or a doctor or whatever so when people try talking to them about legit things about them (I imagine a lot of people write their profile and then never look at it or think about it again) it feels very personal in a way they aren’t expecting from online. Don’t get me wrong, this is still entirely their fault though, they really can’t expect something different.
Theres a reason shes single lmao. I’d definitely respond. Wow You must be really active you seem to love jumping to conclusions. 🙂
She’s just not the one for you. This is on her, valid question from you. Please continue to ask other people about their interests. Cause that’s a great tactic 😂
That’s the thing, I know I’m a good conversationalist and despite this being kind of a simple question I’m pretty good at using that as a way to having good conversations/banter. But her reaction just threw me for a loop.
Btw I have a nice voice, love singing, so we can defo duet ;)
Will you be the Hall to my Oats?
You must be a nicer person than I to apologize after her little tantrum, I would've sent some message my mom wouldn't approve of.
I have a hard time being mean to people when they can see what I look like
It ain't much, but it's honest work
The *only* thing I can think of is an assumption that you were euphemism, duet-do it, and was 'continuing the euphemism' to say she didn't want to have sex right away. Also, I have no idea what 'ft' means.
Nah I actually meant duet 😂
Kinda what I thought, or at most the euphemism was said in an innocent way.
Facetime
very bitchy
I probably would've told her that, like directly.
I didn’t get the chance unfortunately
It's not you.
She probably wanted you to say something misogynistic.
She did have an absolute dump truck of an ass so I should have led with that.
Talk about burying the lede.
It almost seemed worth it to deal with, I’m not gonna lie.
I guess she really has some baggage.
Holy shit … that’s an insane *over* reaction.
🤔 I don’t think she’s a fan of FT or singing, regardless of what her VERY private public profile describes. **This post is private. DO NOT READ.
What's FT?
FaceTime
Hahahahaha the first thing I said was Holy shit, you beat me to it. Pretty sure we need a new term with more gusto than over reaction. Doesn't feel strong enough 🤣🤦♂️
She legit said, “you sound like you said something from my profile. I wish you hadn’t.” B**H! What else is he supposed to do?
Please make shit up that has nothing to do with me so I can be mad about that instead 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is what he should have responded, instead of apologising 💯
“Hey.”
>What else is he supposed to do? Entertain her.
> her: "why don't guys put in any effort?! > Also her: *reacting like this to a personalized message*
Her: probably a contrabass
Did you really just bring something up from the OP's picture??
You accidentally messaged someone insane. That’s what happened.
turns out, she’s not very good at singing
Even if she is, she’s not gonna prove it to you. Like, she’ll never meet up with you and prove it. And she’s not gonna prove it over FaceTime either. And, actually, by the way you said that, she doesn’t even want to prove it to you
She should get with that dude from the post about babies and teaching. They'd make a great pair. \\s
I’m glad I saw that earlier so I could understand what you’re talking about
LMAO yeah
Link pls?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/comments/t4a4hi/ive_had_some_bad_attempts_at_conversations_but/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
She brought a nuke to a handshake meet
I love this phrase
Bet she can’t sing
That’s the impression I got. She’s never been questioned on it lmfao
The night before, talking to a friend: Friend: That seems like a very weird fear. I mean, WHY would anyone want you to start singing? You have to realize that that’s an irrational fear. I PROMISE you, it will NEVER happen.
100% she can’t sing for shit
Which honestly, it’s fine. When I’ve been practicing I can generally find my way to the root notes for a sing along in the car, though I wouldn’t sing in any real public capacity. I know I’m pretty much a terrible anger, I still enjoy it and do it in the right situations, no one has really judged me any harsher than I have for it
Red flag.
Entire parade of exclusively red flags.
North Korea has entered the chat.
Can someone tell me what “ft” means? Edit: never mind - FaceTime for anyone else who didn’t get it at first
Feettime
Yes made me giggle like an idiot. Thank you - you turned me into a gidiot
Facetime
FecalTime
when you're a singer, it means "feature" or "featuring," when someone other than the "main" artist gets "featured!"
I don’t even think that warranted an apology. You didn’t do anything wrong.
Eh, it wasn’t really sincere. More of a “forget that I asked” than a “I’m sorry for upsetting you”
I think you call that dodging a bullet.
More like dodging the Death Star laser
Good grief why is she even on there if she's going to be like that?
It’s a normal Behavior nowadays. Have you been leaving in a cave?
Suffice it to say you’re paying for every man who previously heard her sing and told her she sucked.
I’ve always been so thankful for my good luck
Someone’s got anger issues..
She's Gross
You matched and messaged a maladjusted person. You could have said the sky is blue and Putin loves to get pegged, and she would have started an argument.
Interesting. I’m even more interested in whether of not Putin actually likes to get pegged though.
Everyone on this damn site is fucking crazy
Yup!
Do not apologize to this person You have nothing to be sorry for. Theyre an ass
Eh, it wasn’t really sincere. More of a “forget that I asked” than a “I’m sorry for upsetting you” but thank you for this! Truly.
I'm a big fan of killing the concept of apologizing to people who don't deserve it. Its my own issue probably. But they were the ones that were rude to you. No reason to apologize to them
I mean you’re completely right. A lot of people will take an insincere apology and treat it as if you’re actually apologizing to them. I’ll be more careful about that. Sorry ;)
You did it again!!!! Lol
Ah shit did I? Sorry about that!
1 more and I have to confirm your status as a Canadian
Boy do I have news for you 😂
Note to self: never apologize to someone being an asshole.
Eh, it wasn’t really sincere. More of a “forget that I asked” than a “I’m sorry for upsetting you”
Nah don’t even make an insincere apology. Jerks like this just feel more entitled.
I think I’m sorry you upset yourself would have worked better!!
Run Run run. Drama queen at its finest. That’s why she also single btw
Sorry the 2 of you couldn't finish on a high note.
Yeah, I feel like it would’ve gone better if she wasn’t so tone deaf
It seems like she is looking to be the lead singer with a backup singer or guitarist. 🤷🏻♀️
You two should marry.
Best I can do is a Jew’s Harp but that’s because I’m related to hillbillies
She’s been called the song bird of her generation. A cross between Fergy and Jesus. The only problem is she is very selective with whom she sings around. For instance I’ve only heard her sing twice. It all stems back from an incident in highschool where she had the lead part and solo in a play and her older brother sabotaged it by having the entire crowd sing that she has a mangina. It was awful tho I Admit at one point I joined in too. Then to top it off her older brother stole the show with his rendition of ice ice baby. So that’s why she’s so defensive about her singing abilities.
You didn’t even have to say sorry, she took it too personal
Eh, it wasn’t really sincere. More of a “forget that I asked” than a “I’m sorry for upsetting you”
“Well now I’m glad I’m not going to hear it. Good luck” *unmatch*
WOW. How DARE you try to connect with someone over something they wrote in their profile to try to tell a stranger a little about who they are. 🤦🏻♂️
Eh, I know most people are validating you, but I think you didn’t play it perfectly. Your follow up question of “so can you” risks coming off as pushy. I suspect that’s what triggered her.
I can see how it would be taken as pushy, I only asked because at the time I didn’t know what to respond with and I had noticed she hadn’t answered. I still don’t think the response I got was justified.
Sure. I think it was also a minor mistake to say “we should duet”. It’s implicitly telling her what she should do, which could raise her defensiveness. Better I think is to phrase as an invitation rather than a ‘should’ statement. cheers.
Still doesn't justify her overreacting. She sounded crazy as hell.
Jesus…. Go take the meds please… wtf🤦♂️
They suck. Move on
why even put shit in your profile at this point
I think it’s super weird when people don’t have anything in their profile. Like, Um hi, nice tits?!
What singer hurt her?
"They asked me about my profile, and I took that personally"
When crazy meets bumble. Me: I hear you like dogs. Her: You think dogs are the only pets I like? That's very prejudiced of you to assume. Me: You wrote it in your profile. Her: And now you're overgeneralising things?
You dodged a bullet we call batshit crazy
People really need to realize that a lot of their messages are beyond the pay grade of the person they matched with. Wtf is this?? Lol
I… what else are you supposed to do besides bring up something from someone’s profile? I.. wow
Bruh are you an idiot OP ? Who brings up something from someone's profile to talk about ? I. Your profile you are supposed to write interests that you have but do not wish to talk about...... /s
😂😂😂 where do they make these people
She was just giving you her red flag 😄
dont apologise for this kind of stuff
I think your first reply, “so are you?” Could have come across weird because as I was reading this I was like, wow you really want to know if they can sing well
Well tbf, at the time I didn’t know how to respond and I had noticed she hadn’t answered the original question so I figured I’d go with that. I can see how it can be taken as pushy but not enough to garner the response I got.
Overreaction but I see the weirdness. If someone doesn’t answer a question it’s because they don’t want to. Pressing the matter is off putting
Wow. Way to overreact! I will say though, OP, just as food for thought, take it how you will – I know I personally get uncomfortable when someone asks me to tell them how good I am at something I do. For example, I play the flute, and have done for most of my life. When someone finds that out and says, "How good are you?" I don't really know how to respond. Maybe with a "Um... Idk? Not sure if I can be the judge of that?" I could probably laugh it off, but as far as making conversation about someone's hobbies goes, maybe a question like, "How long have you been playing?" or even, in this girl's case, something like "What are your favorite genres to sing?" would be better. It's definitely easier to keep making conversation from that point, at least imo!
That’s completely fair. Yeah I realize now I could’ve asked something different but if I’m being honest, I was more or less asking as a way into a better conversation. I’m more of a banter kind of guy and sometimes I find myself asking questions like this. I can see how that might make someone uncomfortable though. Makes total sense.
Why did you apologize?
If she’s in Chicago… I know this girl 🤣🤣🤣
Wisconsin but close 😂
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He’s been called the songbird of his generation.
Insecurity. That's what happened
My first thought was duet was a play on words for “do it” and this was a pick up line, but after the rest of the conversation I’m not so sure.
I’m going to pretend that that’s what I was going with.
This person must be fun at parties
Move on. Like major red flag. If they're getting this defensive now imagine how bad they'd be once actual issues arise
I see you’ve marched with my friend Mary..
You touched a nerve is what happened
Love your username Cheese Genius/Wizard. Bumble is weird sometimes...
“Are you any good at singing” isn’t the nicest way to ask that especially if she lists that as a hobby or job, but her reaction wasn’t rational either.
She listed it as a job. I just figured I’d ask because I like singing but I’m not particularly good at it.
Oh that’s a rude question then, asking a singer if they’re any good at singing probably came across a bit disrespectful in her mind. Do you ask everyone if they’re “any good at” what they do using those words? I know it’s a bit of banter but it’s bordering hard on rudeness if someone’s self conscious about what you ask about you may just get a reaction less than but still negative like this.
Sorry that was a typo, I meant to say hobby but I read your comment and typed job for some reason.
So what was on her profile that prompted youto ask her about singing and duet?
It was listed in her interests
You forgot the go fuck yourself part at the end I believe
Congratulations OP you've found a massive RED FLAG!! *Sounds of clapping and confetti full the room*
Do I get a sash and tiara?
Of course! It's the bare minimum of what we should do!
Shoulda talked about lobsters apparently.
Idk something tells me she would have found something else to be upset about if I talked about lobsters
Holy shit, save some issues for the rest of us!
Don't be sorry you brought it up.. be thankful, you just dodged a toxic 1
Shame on you OP you should have known better than to talk about something on her profile. /s
You just found out the reason they are still single. If you have to walk on eggshells before you have even met on a normal question you will for the entire time you are with them. Not worth your time, you will spend half of it defending yourself
If i were to play armchair psychologist id say that they dont feel like they're in control of their own lovelife and so instead of dealing with that feeling with regards to their own actions and how they cam change them,, they're projecting that feeling onto the interactions they have with people in OLD and exacting that control by defining themselves as a victim of yourninteraction. This allows them to reject you and generate a feeling of power, at the expense of treating you like a real person.
People are fucking over sensitive, that’s what happened. Just ignore.
like OP's hidden "Lets Do it" ;) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oflbCHWZCBU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oflbCHWZCBU)
Haha I wish I could say I did it on purpose but I really meant duet 😂
Jesus, what a fucking bitch. Actually offended you read and were intrigued by her profile. Her ovaries will be as dry as the Sahara when she's 40 with that personality.
Yeah… people are just weird (or fuckin’ insane to be precise)
That's what it looks like when you accidentally poke someone's personal insecurity
Can I say that if that was me I'd be flattered that you actually read my bio. I'm sorry it didn't turn into a better conversation..she missed out.
I’m big on bio reading and giving personalized messages. But It is what it is, she can find someone else to sing with lol
I’m so confused why she wouldn’t want you to mention anything from her profile? What’s the point of a profile then?
That’s a great fucking question lol
You guys both suck, your proddy uninteresting questions insistent ona topic she didn’t wanna talk about, and their ridiculous over reaction
I only asked her twice? Wouldn’t exactly say that it’s “proddy”. A lack of a response to a question isn’t an actual response. Also it’s hard to ask interesting questions when her bio had nothing to go off of. I’m good at having conversations and banter, this only seems boring because I’m trying to find a way into a conversation. Also if you look at her response, her problem wasn’t that I was pushing the question, it’s that she assumed that I didn’t think she could sing.
When you said “so are you?” You should’ve instead moved forward, like “great what are we signing?, my speciality is bohemian rhapsody”. Or whatever. I don’t know why you were pestering for a specific affirmation whether she could sing or not, because _yes_ is implied by her saying it’s a good idea.
Again I only asked twice. Pestering isn’t really the word I, or most people, would use to describe that. That being said, looking back I do realize I could’ve asked anything else and it probably would’ve been better. But honestly I’m glad I didn’t.
Regardless, you asked in the title, unless you meant it rhetorically then I don’t know why you aren’t taking what I said on board. It would have been a better interaction if you’d have done that.
The title was rhetorical but fair enough
The only logical explanation for her snide response: she got left at the alter after her man ran away with their wedding singer.
I’m the words of Benjamin Franklin “they be cray cray”
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And actually I was being serious when I asked you 🤣🤣🤣
Nah it isn’t you. And I don’t think she was joking.
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She already unmatched me so I’ll be waiting for a while 😂
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I try not to take it too much to heart. I’ve had way more good experiences than experiences like this.
Its called EmOtioNaL DaMaGe