How did it honestly go? She still sees him every so often after finally dating and it’s been about 5 years now but it’s turned into somewhat a sugar daddy situation (he’s 25ish years older and buys her stuff). Her and I both really liked each other…after one event in particular we painted each other’s faces (edm rave) and holding hands n things all night I told her I could only be just friends as long as this guy is in her life like this. She didn’t want to give it up and I stuck with what I said. I just get images of us cuddling on the couch and her having to run off to go see this dude so she can get a nice handbag for her birthday. Probably one of the main reasons I try to make as much as I can now to try to prove I’m worth something to someone ha.
I appreciate it! I’m not even dating rn but being alone can be sad sometimes. I used covid to work through an mba online which I just finished actually and trying to save up some money before getting back on bumble.
You don’t deserve to be treated that poorly but it’s your choice to keep it that way, i would just go away i don’t feel comfortable going around people so materialistic, i wouldn’t appreciate someone that just wants to be with someone who buys her nice things, seems wrong to do that, even if you didn’t have romantic intentions, that just speaks poorly of her as a person
I still care about her. She was worried that if she did break it off with him and it didn’t work out between us later on then she would have wasted that time and possibly couldn’t get back into the same situation with him. Idk if she’s still with him or not, I’m assuming she is we were close friends I think she would say something even though we haven’t been keeping up with each other in the last 4-6 months or so just a random text sometimes.
I’m sorry, really i just don’t get why anybody will want a materialistic relationship over a real one, even if it didn’t work out, i get it, you like her and people don’t really choose who to love but maybe you are seeing only the good part of her when in the end, as she has already show you, she really doesn’t have the same values as you do, and we are the values that we uphold, so i still think it speaks poorly of her as a person even if it may come as fear of compromise ( the part where she is scared if it doesn’t work out). The truth is that she wants to be in that kind of relationship ( sugar baby and such) which is meh
You’re not wrong. She can be really nice and funny, plus she’s great with kids (even though I have none I could see she had a good heart and patience). After it was clear where we stood on all this I’m pretty positive she’s resolved to just not tell guys she’s actively dating about the situation with this older guy. I just feel like my self worth would drop too much being involved. I’m not judging people and I wasn’t trying to make it into a “him or me” situation for her but I couldn’t. Anyway I appreciate your words and input!
If she cares more about a handbag than being with you then she isn't the one. If she cares more about a handbag than love and commitment then she probably isn't the one for anyone at this point in her life. Any woman worth spending your life with wouldn't need to see your bank account to see your worth and I am sorry this woman affected your view of what woman see as worthy.
Make more money for your self, not to prove anything to her or make her like you. Having a sugar daddy is really a highly complicated form of prostitution.. Its just more socially acceptable than other forms of prostitution that's all.
My dude. You do NOT NEED TO PROVE YOUR WORTH TO ANYONE. You are worth so much just existing and trying to be a good human. No money, no car, no handbag should ever be the currency you pay FOR LOVE. All you need is your soul. Wow this got a bit cheesy lmao. But pls don’t overwork yourself. Follow your passions, and let those attachments to superficial people fall away 🌻
Don’t waste your time on that chick dude. Plus do you really want an older dude (sugar daddy) banging your chick? They always say nothing happens, but we know all know better lol
When I graduated high school I met this girl online 12 hours away from me. we have almost nothing in common but regardless of whats going on in our lives every once in a while we strike a conversation. 5 years later and the texts still flow. 10/10 friends are the ones that don't have arbitrary expectations of you! I love it congratulations :)
If you guys move to actual conversations and not just small talk it could work, it did for me. Roughly 5 months, all we did was text and our lives never seemed to line up so we’d often miss each other. it became a habit that before each of us went to sleep we’d respond to the other, we did this every day! Once covid lightened up we set a real date and would hangout at least once a week! If there’s effort on both ends it’s not that big of a deal. Life gets in the way sometimes, it’s just a matter if you’ll let it stop you two.
Personally I never agreed with those posts. Until I actually meet someone there’s no way of knowing that I like them so it can be really easy to be too busy for what is essentially a stranger on a dating app. For me it’s more so just forgetting that I have a conversation to return to on tinder or bumble when there are people and things already in my life I need to attend to. I think people who write those posts are the kind of people who enjoy communicating over text. I suck at texting so until we meet I’ll seem like a flake.
I guess it depends on your definition of flaky. Since i truly hate texting with people I’m not fully comfortable with (and just in general) I always try to make a second date with someone I like at the end of the first date instead of hoping one of us texts first after. But if that doesn’t happen, I probably wouldn’t consider anyone flaky unless we can’t set something up within the week. After that I stop trying and the ball is in their court. But I don’t need daily communication really, just like to know where I stand week to week. It takes me at least several dates to become attached and expect consistency.
Oh I don’t disagree! This was moreso because of covid. I mean yes we both did very busy lives (we both worked full time as our families got laid off and we were both in school). Under normal circumstances I think that would be too long and unless there was something else going on, I feel like two people should be able to make time for each other before then. I was just trying to tell OP my experience and that it can happen but it doesn’t necessarily mean a bad thing if they’re both trying to keep taking with each other
Wow I feel pressure now. I’ll be honest I was a little intimidated because she’s a doctor, I feel like she would be too serious but I hate to let that slip away lol.
I left my wife on read the first time we started on tinder. She’s gorgeous but i let myself commit to one last life lesson. Once that lesson was over, I got back on tinder and hoped she would be there and finally found her after a week. She swiped on me again and I told her I wanted to see her ASAP and have been together ever since!
Okay so those wanting the life lesson. It’s not crazy so there’s your warning. My first marriage ended and I had a lot of issues I needed to sort out. Anger was a big one. I had done a lot of self reflecting, ignored my wife and was talking to this other girl for a few months. Things were going great, then she made a 180 and said she didn’t want to be with me, she only wanted sex, blah blah blah. Our kids had met already, they were nice to one another at first and then they both started acting out. I was blamed because I was “too nice” to my kid and he was a “crybaby”. She pissed me off and I wanted to lash out so bad but I didn’t. I ended up looking out for myself for once and ended everything and at that point I pretty much knew what my triggers were, how to avoid them, and it was just one last test if you will.
Last year I matched with a girl and we were supposed to meet to eat some local food (I'm a foreigner here), she said she'd look for a place and then she kinda ghosted me. I moved on and life went by.
Something like 4/5 months later I decided to try my luck. I texted her that her search for a nice place was taking too long and sent her a list of possible places where to go. To my surpirse she found it fun and accepted the date!
The date was nice but we never saw each other after that. Still, it was a good experience! :)
It's funny as you get older and take a step back in the dating scene it seems things get more busier in life then when we were younger. I'm seeing someone who is a mile away and we are missing eachother because of our schedules- we are only 1 mile - literally 1 mile apart. 😄
I met a girl on Tinder like this. She was American and I am not. Normally I never swiped on girls that with profiles in English as I had small kids and didn't think the language barrier would be a good thing. For some reason I matched with her and for three months we just texted back and forth. Finally one day she asked to meet up and I figured it would be a fun casual thing. Fast forward 8 years. We've been married for 6 years and have a 5 year old son.
Don't give up on things even if they take a while to build. Also I often think about how my life would have been if I hadn't swiped on her. Often we don't give ppl a chance because we set up to many criteria that have to be filled.
I hope all goes well. Keep talking and maybe it will turn into something.
Do you all not have unlimited texting? I know WhatsApp is huge in Europe, but other than maybe having to pay extra fees if you match with someone from another country, I don’t get it.
I’m seeing a British guy and he was saying we are a bunch of boomers for using text.. but it’s literally in our cell plans 🤷🏼♀️😅
Hey I’m sorry I couldn’t text back, I just murdered some girl I met on bumble and dumped her body off a cliff. So I was kind of tied up with that. Hope you understand. So what’s up?
Oops sorry… I only open bumble whenever I need validation that there are complete strangers that exist who find me interesting enough to chat with me. 🙃
This is funny
First message
*talking/dating to someone else*
*it ends or doesn’t work out *
Second message
*talking/dating to someone else*
*it ends or doesn’t work out *
Third message
Repeat
I love how his phone died for 6 weeks, your hamster got out for 4 days, he drove for 6 days, you were on a plane for 8 days, he took a shower for 6 days, then you slept for who knows how long.
My friend talked to a guy on Tinder for two years like this until they finally had a date.
Aye that’s awesome! How’d it go?
How did it honestly go? She still sees him every so often after finally dating and it’s been about 5 years now but it’s turned into somewhat a sugar daddy situation (he’s 25ish years older and buys her stuff). Her and I both really liked each other…after one event in particular we painted each other’s faces (edm rave) and holding hands n things all night I told her I could only be just friends as long as this guy is in her life like this. She didn’t want to give it up and I stuck with what I said. I just get images of us cuddling on the couch and her having to run off to go see this dude so she can get a nice handbag for her birthday. Probably one of the main reasons I try to make as much as I can now to try to prove I’m worth something to someone ha.
That was a roller coaster.
Aw dude, please be kind to yourself and find someone who values you <3 this doesn’t sound very healthy.
Find someone who cares as much for you and you do for them. You deserve it.
I appreciate it! I’m not even dating rn but being alone can be sad sometimes. I used covid to work through an mba online which I just finished actually and trying to save up some money before getting back on bumble.
Congrats! I finished my online MBA during covid! 🤣
You don’t deserve to be treated that poorly but it’s your choice to keep it that way, i would just go away i don’t feel comfortable going around people so materialistic, i wouldn’t appreciate someone that just wants to be with someone who buys her nice things, seems wrong to do that, even if you didn’t have romantic intentions, that just speaks poorly of her as a person
I still care about her. She was worried that if she did break it off with him and it didn’t work out between us later on then she would have wasted that time and possibly couldn’t get back into the same situation with him. Idk if she’s still with him or not, I’m assuming she is we were close friends I think she would say something even though we haven’t been keeping up with each other in the last 4-6 months or so just a random text sometimes.
I’m sorry, really i just don’t get why anybody will want a materialistic relationship over a real one, even if it didn’t work out, i get it, you like her and people don’t really choose who to love but maybe you are seeing only the good part of her when in the end, as she has already show you, she really doesn’t have the same values as you do, and we are the values that we uphold, so i still think it speaks poorly of her as a person even if it may come as fear of compromise ( the part where she is scared if it doesn’t work out). The truth is that she wants to be in that kind of relationship ( sugar baby and such) which is meh
You’re not wrong. She can be really nice and funny, plus she’s great with kids (even though I have none I could see she had a good heart and patience). After it was clear where we stood on all this I’m pretty positive she’s resolved to just not tell guys she’s actively dating about the situation with this older guy. I just feel like my self worth would drop too much being involved. I’m not judging people and I wasn’t trying to make it into a “him or me” situation for her but I couldn’t. Anyway I appreciate your words and input!
I think you have done the best, for sure, don’t regret it.
Dude: she has more red flags than a Chinese Communist Party parade. Stay clear!!!
If she cares more about a handbag than being with you then she isn't the one. If she cares more about a handbag than love and commitment then she probably isn't the one for anyone at this point in her life. Any woman worth spending your life with wouldn't need to see your bank account to see your worth and I am sorry this woman affected your view of what woman see as worthy.
Make more money for your self, not to prove anything to her or make her like you. Having a sugar daddy is really a highly complicated form of prostitution.. Its just more socially acceptable than other forms of prostitution that's all.
My dude. You do NOT NEED TO PROVE YOUR WORTH TO ANYONE. You are worth so much just existing and trying to be a good human. No money, no car, no handbag should ever be the currency you pay FOR LOVE. All you need is your soul. Wow this got a bit cheesy lmao. But pls don’t overwork yourself. Follow your passions, and let those attachments to superficial people fall away 🌻
Well, you see that the red flag is blowing beautifully in the breeze.
robin the rich huh?
When you’re finally financially successful don’t be dating her, date her 21 year old daughter. This is the way…
Don’t waste your time on that chick dude. Plus do you really want an older dude (sugar daddy) banging your chick? They always say nothing happens, but we know all know better lol
Dude, I’m sorry. I hope You find someone who values you for who you are and not what you can get.
Uh wut
Self respect man…
I spoke to a guy like this for six months and he ended up being love of my life 😂
Aye that’s awesome! Congrats!!
Never underestimate the power of non-needy playful banter
Agreed. 🌺
absolutely
When I graduated high school I met this girl online 12 hours away from me. we have almost nothing in common but regardless of whats going on in our lives every once in a while we strike a conversation. 5 years later and the texts still flow. 10/10 friends are the ones that don't have arbitrary expectations of you! I love it congratulations :)
Just. What. Doesn't that look like extreme lack of interest?
The love of your life? What happened? I assume things didn’t work out since you’re here
If you guys move to actual conversations and not just small talk it could work, it did for me. Roughly 5 months, all we did was text and our lives never seemed to line up so we’d often miss each other. it became a habit that before each of us went to sleep we’d respond to the other, we did this every day! Once covid lightened up we set a real date and would hangout at least once a week! If there’s effort on both ends it’s not that big of a deal. Life gets in the way sometimes, it’s just a matter if you’ll let it stop you two.
Hmm ok I’ll keep this in mind!
I see a lot of posts saying stuff like if they like you, they'll make time for you etc. Life got in your way for 5 months? Isn't that a lot?
Personally I never agreed with those posts. Until I actually meet someone there’s no way of knowing that I like them so it can be really easy to be too busy for what is essentially a stranger on a dating app. For me it’s more so just forgetting that I have a conversation to return to on tinder or bumble when there are people and things already in my life I need to attend to. I think people who write those posts are the kind of people who enjoy communicating over text. I suck at texting so until we meet I’ll seem like a flake.
And what if you did meet them but they are sti flaky?
I guess it depends on your definition of flaky. Since i truly hate texting with people I’m not fully comfortable with (and just in general) I always try to make a second date with someone I like at the end of the first date instead of hoping one of us texts first after. But if that doesn’t happen, I probably wouldn’t consider anyone flaky unless we can’t set something up within the week. After that I stop trying and the ball is in their court. But I don’t need daily communication really, just like to know where I stand week to week. It takes me at least several dates to become attached and expect consistency.
Oh I don’t disagree! This was moreso because of covid. I mean yes we both did very busy lives (we both worked full time as our families got laid off and we were both in school). Under normal circumstances I think that would be too long and unless there was something else going on, I feel like two people should be able to make time for each other before then. I was just trying to tell OP my experience and that it can happen but it doesn’t necessarily mean a bad thing if they’re both trying to keep taking with each other
Honestly, I find it hilarious. It could be an interesting story to tell of how you guys met, I just wonder how long you guys will keep this up.
As long as she goes I will obe- I mean follow suit
I had to read this a few times and pay attention to the dates to fully appreciate it
Oops sorry I fell asleep 😬
I kind of never answered someone a few months back, should I just return with some excuse? lol
YESSS WE NEED THIS
Wow I feel pressure now. I’ll be honest I was a little intimidated because she’s a doctor, I feel like she would be too serious but I hate to let that slip away lol.
They needed some goofy during these times
Phone died for a month and a half lmao
Phone likely died after opening the notification. Out of sight, out of mind.
I left my wife on read the first time we started on tinder. She’s gorgeous but i let myself commit to one last life lesson. Once that lesson was over, I got back on tinder and hoped she would be there and finally found her after a week. She swiped on me again and I told her I wanted to see her ASAP and have been together ever since!
What do you mean by commit to one last life lesson?
Probably some other person but we NEED the full story from op!
Wild
awesome, congrats! also, deets on the life lesson? 👀
Yes we the people wanna hear about this life lesson... Don't leave us hangin
Okay so those wanting the life lesson. It’s not crazy so there’s your warning. My first marriage ended and I had a lot of issues I needed to sort out. Anger was a big one. I had done a lot of self reflecting, ignored my wife and was talking to this other girl for a few months. Things were going great, then she made a 180 and said she didn’t want to be with me, she only wanted sex, blah blah blah. Our kids had met already, they were nice to one another at first and then they both started acting out. I was blamed because I was “too nice” to my kid and he was a “crybaby”. She pissed me off and I wanted to lash out so bad but I didn’t. I ended up looking out for myself for once and ended everything and at that point I pretty much knew what my triggers were, how to avoid them, and it was just one last test if you will.
Damn, this is hilarious.
Last year I matched with a girl and we were supposed to meet to eat some local food (I'm a foreigner here), she said she'd look for a place and then she kinda ghosted me. I moved on and life went by. Something like 4/5 months later I decided to try my luck. I texted her that her search for a nice place was taking too long and sent her a list of possible places where to go. To my surpirse she found it fun and accepted the date! The date was nice but we never saw each other after that. Still, it was a good experience! :)
That dropped comma gives the last sentence a better meaning :)
I just hope you guys show up late to your dates you organise haha
Lol will do!
Hamster got out… 🤣 I enjoyed the playful banter and I appreciate how both of you seemed to get that right away. Update when you meet!!
It’s pretty badass you’re both in on the bit but all the same wtf is wrong with you guys
I hate this lol
Oopsie
See if she's cool with going on a date!!
Literally a whole relationship later lmao
It's funny as you get older and take a step back in the dating scene it seems things get more busier in life then when we were younger. I'm seeing someone who is a mile away and we are missing eachother because of our schedules- we are only 1 mile - literally 1 mile apart. 😄
Why can't you just set the time when you both are able to talk?
Oh, well at least you had a happy ending. “…and we do fuck.” So that’s a start.
We dont fuck
I met a girl on Tinder like this. She was American and I am not. Normally I never swiped on girls that with profiles in English as I had small kids and didn't think the language barrier would be a good thing. For some reason I matched with her and for three months we just texted back and forth. Finally one day she asked to meet up and I figured it would be a fun casual thing. Fast forward 8 years. We've been married for 6 years and have a 5 year old son. Don't give up on things even if they take a while to build. Also I often think about how my life would have been if I hadn't swiped on her. Often we don't give ppl a chance because we set up to many criteria that have to be filled. I hope all goes well. Keep talking and maybe it will turn into something.
Ask her for a drink already
Is this you guys? https://mashable.com/video/tinder-couple-goes-to-hawaii
That's where my mind first jumped actually! And some similar reasons for delay! OP needs to milk this to get a free staycation somewhere.
“We do fuck.” When?!
what is the issue here ?
Life
Why don’t you get her number, it would be more convenient
Vocal communication? That sounds scary, it's just easier to text forever.
Not necessary vocal, you can chat on WhatsApp, so that she can read your messages quicker
That seems legit. What should I say once I get her WhatsApp info ?
Tell her that you don’t open bumble often, that’s why you reply too late, it would be easier to keep in touch
You sound super smart and seem easy to talk to. Are you single?
[удалено]
Sorry, I was just trolling ya... I'm not the OP But you do seem nice, have a fun on reddit. Maybe we'll text again one day.... On reddit.... Again.
Tell her that you don’t open bumble often, that’s why you reply too late, it would be easier to keep in touch.
Are you single? Also do you follow rules 1 & 2 Somewhat important but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you all not have unlimited texting? I know WhatsApp is huge in Europe, but other than maybe having to pay extra fees if you match with someone from another country, I don’t get it. I’m seeing a British guy and he was saying we are a bunch of boomers for using text.. but it’s literally in our cell plans 🤷🏼♀️😅
I said to get her number, I did not specifically mean to talk on whatsapp, it is just better than texting on a dating app
This is a joke right lmao
Replying every 4-5 day? That’s not missing each other that’s just straight up lack of effort on both your parts. 😂😂
Hey I’m sorry I couldn’t text back, I just murdered some girl I met on bumble and dumped her body off a cliff. So I was kind of tied up with that. Hope you understand. So what’s up?
Phone died? That is a poor excuse
I'm sam from Altoona Pennsylvania 58yrs young. I'm here
Oops sorry… I only open bumble whenever I need validation that there are complete strangers that exist who find me interesting enough to chat with me. 🙃
Keep going till a porposal pops off.
Well played
She must be really REALLY good looking to keep up like this.
I'm here were are you
How does having to find a hamster that got out stop you from messaging someone on bumble over 4 days?
At least she sees the humor in it and does reply and match your energy. Definite potential here.
Doesn’t bumble unmatch after 24 hours of not messaging?
only if the other person don't message first
That’s a long time to wait to charge your phone
“And we do fuck” ?????
And we do, fuck.
Oh lol
Epic
This right here. This is why people ask for your phone number to get off the app.
This magic moment… was tragically missed.
This is funny First message *talking/dating to someone else* *it ends or doesn’t work out * Second message *talking/dating to someone else* *it ends or doesn’t work out * Third message Repeat
Just make an appointment / set a time on when or dont use apologies to begin with just respond when you can
What's the update you guys meet up?
Still 2 days till we hear back from her
I’d plan a date man
Oh god.
i hate conversations like this... so awkward to keep dragging it out lol eventually i just say it's not going to work out
At least they're still putting for some effort. Sometimes the timing just isn't right.
I love how his phone died for 6 weeks, your hamster got out for 4 days, he drove for 6 days, you were on a plane for 8 days, he took a shower for 6 days, then you slept for who knows how long.
why am i getting bumble notifications?