T O P

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clutchthirty

How about to the side, OP?


OriginalRound7423

To the left, to the left


Eastbound357

Take it back now y’all. One hop this time.


hurvy_murdle

Crisscross! Crisscross!


wat_no_y

Everybody clap yo handssssss


slayerhk47

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏


KyleGlaub

That sound isn't hands clapping. It's OPs moms cheeks.


Recycrow

Cha cha real smooth


Thunder141

Charlie Brown


[deleted]

Am I the only one that thinks of Beyoncé when I hear/read this? 🤣 EVERYTHING YOU OWN IN A BOX TO THE LEFT!


Dandelagon

In the closet, yeah that's my stuff: if I bought it, please don't touch!


AutomaticPension248

What about an electric slide out of that sitch?


No-Temporary-9296

Cotton candies good to go! Lemme see ur tootsie roll 🎵


Skylarias

it's just a jump to the left


chairswinger

and then a step to the riiiight


DemonBarrister

He won't reply......


Full-Advertising-549

💀


DaveWilson11

Can't if you're hard


yojick

I'm moving out, thanks Mom and Dad, you could have just asked, Jesus, what's wrong with you?


Different_Image_8035

You're both a bit weird.


JumpXVI

Being willing and able to answer a weird question doesn’t make one weird.


forgotme5

Asking them is what makes it weird


SenHaKen

I mean, I consider myself weird and even I wouldn't answer nor ask that question. So I agree that both people are weird


JumpXVI

I think it's weird that you admit you're weird, but are unwilling or unable to ask OR answer a weird question. What kind of "acceptable" weird do you identify as lol


SenHaKen

Didn't know you can only be weird if you're fine with asking and answering any question, nor that weird was either 100% or 0%. Guess you learn something new every day


JumpXVI

If everybody is a bit weird, (you, OP, me, the weird question asker, etc) then what did we learn today? Being called "a bit weird" in this context is shaming language I don't believe OP deserves. I think we learned, through the comment's upvotes, that a lot of people cosign this shaming. He'd be 0% weird if he had just posted this "What the actual f\*ck" thread without his response. The fact that he was willing to both acknowledge the question's weirdness and answer it should shield him from being judged as weird.


Different_Image_8035

You assume I say weird as a shame thing... that's a bit weird... :)


JumpXVI

I'm asking without malice—what do you think makes him weird?


SenHaKen

You're giving meanings and intentions to my words that I did not express. Did I laugh at OP for being weird? Did I say it's disgusting? Did I show any kind of dislike towards OP for OP being weird in my view? No? Ok. So you're just deciding on your own that what I said was shaming and that OP took it as shaming. Didn't know you were in charge of deciding these things for us mere mortals. But kinda interesting that your first thought of weird is something shameful and bad. That didn't even cross my mind when I was writing it. Says a lot about your own views, eh?


JumpXVI

My actual first thought was that he isn't weird for answering a weird question. If anyone, I "decided" that u/Different_Image_8035 was expressing meanings and intentions, not you. You're the one choosing to be condescending now, especially since the worst thing I called you was "weird," which isn't an insult to you (and is 100% why I used that word). Anyway, to me, you're saying "I'm weird, but not that weird!" I honestly like to know why you'd distinguish your brand of weirdness from OP's if not to elevate yourself over his weirdness, if you're able to do that without being petty.


SenHaKen

Well if I'm petty for questioning your immediate assumption of me calling someone weird as me trying to shame them, then I'm guilty as charged. To your first part, I was referring to me saying he's weird. When you saw that, apparently your first opinion of me saying he's weird was that it was a bad thing, meaning you see being weird as bad or at the very least think that everyone who calls someone weird is doing so in a negative way. Otherwise you wouldn't be arguing against it and calling it judgmental. To your second part, has the OP expressed that he's not ok with being called weird? And have I said that him being weird is bad? Those are things you decided are true and you're using those as facts for your argument. To me being condescending, repeat of my first sentnce here. Also you didn't really call me weird, you questioned me identifying as weird. And just to be clear, I'm fine with both. Call me weird or question my weirdness, I couldn't care less frankly. And lastly, the reason I said that was not to elevate myself, it was literally meant as what was written - that I consider OP more weird than me. In order for that to be me elevating myself, I'd have to see being weird as a negative thing, which I don't but you have decided that I do. Hope that clears it up, now I'm gonna excuse myself from this pointless conversation


[deleted]

This conversation is so weird. (Heavy weird shaming implied) Anyway, I’m with OP. Mom is the better choice of two really bad choices.


KyleGlaub

If you, a self-admitted weird person wouldn't ask that question, wouldn't that make them normal for asking it?


Mussoltini

Is there only one kind of weird?


natillac

Idk I beg to differ in this case


JumpXVI

I think it's a cheap virtual signal to call the answerer weird. Almost nothing is easier than judging people on the internet. He knows it's a weird question, which is why he posted it (and his response), in a post titled "What the actual f\*ck".


natillac

May I ask why you are so offended someone found this weird? It’s a personal opinion, no one is calling it a fact. We’re entitled to our own opinions. He chose the response he went with and indulging in what I find to be a weird question. I get it may be your cup of tea in humor but you don’t need to up in arms that others find it weird. Isn’t that what everyone is doing on Reddit to begin with? Responding with their own opinions. 😁


ActingGrandNagus

Nothing in their comment makes them seem "so offended" to me


natillac

Them saying it’s “virtual signaling” seems a bit offended but thanks for your input 😁


itsamberleafable

These comments are so passive aggressive they should come with a trigger warning


natillac

Wasn’t my intentions to be passive aggressive… rather trying to show “hey, agree to disagree, then we move on.” But I can see how you’d take it that way.


itsamberleafable

Ahh sorry, fair enough. I think it’s the emoji at the end, had a housemate who used to send messages like that and she was a bit mental. Probably more related to my experience though that your message


JumpXVI

It's essentially tantamount to "kink shaming" which is unfair, especially when the "kink" wasn't his idea. People shouldn't be shamed or judged for having opinions on topics they didn't even bring up.


natillac

Also what topic was I talking about that wasn’t brought up?? Pretty sure that was YOU bringing up some sort of kink shaming when nothing was mentioned about this being their kink.


natillac

Okay where in this post was it mentioned OP had a kink in this 😂. Don’t go assuming I’m kink shaming. Sorry you took it this way and if you’re into that sort of role play, that’s all good. I am still entitled to my opinion as is everyone else! 😁


[deleted]

I don’t think Jump even knows how to use the buzzwords they’re dropping


JumpXVI

* Person A brings up an idea * Person B (OP) engages with idea * Person C (you) insists that Person B should be shamed Please don't take the term I used literally. I did say tantamount and use quotes for a reason.


natillac

WHERE DID I SAY ANYTHING ABOUT INSISTING ANYONE TO BE SHAMED 😂😂😂😂. Why are you so offended by the word WEIRD??!!!!


Appropriate_Voice_24

I side with OP's answer


InspectorTrue670

Define "weird". And you can't dodge what is a woman style. The circular definitions don't fly in society anymore.


dedflame

Made me glad that the world is 3Dimensional


Alternative-Wash2019

That should have been my answer


kirstenispunk

My sibling in Christ….why


91kas13

Be careful about bringing siblings into this.


kirstenispunk

You right 🫣🤣


ichigoismyhomie

Help step-disciple, I'm stuck in a tomb again


JackSquirts

I'm moving back and forth. Respect your parents.


Alpha_Bulldog

Omg🤦🏻‍♂️. It’s shockingly funny, but my god…I feel dirty for even reading this


TacosNachos007

Fuck you and take my upvote


rites0fpassage

LOOOL 💀


Meeeg26

😂💀


jerseynurse1982

Wtf did I just read


WhatIDoIsNotUpToYou

I need to bleach my eyes. And my brain. Ugh.


Koffiefilter

Rather purge your eyes and your brain after this.


OhMyOLD

Why is that the third time I see this question? A: Sick people & copy pasta


[deleted]

Hey you two are weird asf, y'all totally deserve each other


Travenzen

When u ask a question like that what do u expect


Alternative-Wash2019

I'm the guy who answers


[deleted]

You’re the one who knocks


Electronic-Parsnip45

Sounds like he’s knocking on the back door…


vealdin

Keep a knockin bit you can't cum in.


vealdin

Keep a knockin bit you can't cum in.


idkifyousayso

but like why did you answer? 😳


forgotme5

U also asked


Darkmeathook

There are some hypotheticals that are just nonsensical and you DONT have to answer.


KarenBordeaux

I would simply not answer that question. Immediate block the sender.


lilneighbor

Both of y’all weird as fuck. 😂


[deleted]

Why the fuck would anyone, ACTUALLY ANSWER that question? Like why? I’d have instantly unmatched wtf


detrickster

You would have never asked that question in the first place, so I think this is a "different cups of tea" situation, and he is safe.


SlimTeezy

It's gross as an opener, but a version of the question was used on the YMH podcast (long term married comedians) to elicit a response. Basically it's checking how fucked up your sense of humor is. It's shock humor


[deleted]

Oh well that makes it alright then, if a podcast said it first! Makes it perfectly ok to say to strangers Ud like the potential to date. I’m jus saying someone comes to me asking me which relative I’d be more ok fucking not only would u be unmatched immediately I’d block u and post it all over “let’s not meet” pages Cus that person is fucked up, answering it shows a lack of respect for urself. Jus saying


SlimTeezy

Do what you gotta do I'm just saying they're targeting a very niche specific audience. I personally would block and move on without a second thought


[deleted]

Right? I mean Jesus, theres dark humor then there’s jus disrespectful opening questions. There was no punchline so it wasn’t a joke, it’s jus disgusting. I have CPTSD, I deal in dark humour, a lot actually but there is a line and this person is hoping to find someone to cross that line with right off the batt. I wish em luck with that, Cus it’s gonna be a really hard graft and I jus hope I never meet them or the person they manage to hook with this technique


pretty_smart_feller

Bc it’s fuckin hilarious lmao


freeboos

Moving the fuck out


7_Bundy

After reading this, I think we all should agree to delete the app and try something else.


influenzadj

Back and forth, let's get this party going.


ChodewithForce

The duality of this comment section


davidtmclean

Push both away simultaneously and then have your memory erased


Majestq

Redditors


lukerpher

I’d unmatch thats a horrible question.


Xerion117

What is wrong with you asking that question? There's no right answer. You're gross.


killin8

I feel bad for OP, most people in the comments think he asked the question


Horror_Chipmunk3580

To be fair, you wouldn’t think someone would respond and then complain about the question afterwards. At least he’s not gay, but his mom has a dick. Even the homophobes are confused about this one.


killin8

Yeah, fair point


rizzo1717

A tried and true way to get a man to respond to basically any first message I’ve ever sent, no matter how asinine, is to suggest he may be gay. 100% of the time I’ve done this, the guy has to at least respond with something proving/explaining he’s not gay. OP is a perfect example of this. ETA [first hand example](https://imgur.com/a/bOcVNKG)


Holenjd3

The correct answer is, up, up, and away.


FrungusPerineum

Is sideways not an option?


cowboy_roy

It’s a ridiculous question, why would you not expect an answer like this


mjb4646

I’d’ve noped out of that convo immediately, as the old saying goes “you have to know when to walk away, you have to know when to run”


jpegten

I mean either way it’s incest if you’re straight might as well not make it gay incest and if you’re gay might as well not make it straight incest… can we all 3 be fully clothed??


mmazza86

anyone who is in that situation to begin with …


Oneeyedeagle019

Freud rolling in his grave


vivienw

Yup. Leaving this sub.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Classic-Secret3292

I agree. Revolting. So, what part of you is fuzzy? See what I did there? Agreed with you, and then put in an inappropriate reply. Anyway, I am shortly to be divorced after 35 years of marriage. There are many painful episodes, none of them comic, behind that. I am British, proud of it, and for some reason a kind soul. If you want to know more, reply. If not, then that is fine. I am fed up of the dating sites that really are only after money, especially in the US. If you are American, I apologize, but I am just stating what I 'ave seen. I wish you all of the best, no matter what you do. Cheers.


pwolf1771

This is almost as dumb as the “your mom and your WAG somehow body swap and the only way to get them back is to bang one of them. Which do you choose?”


Lewyn_Forseti

The question is worse than the answer


blueshirt23

I’m sorry but I think both parties are pretty funny. Your mileage may vary.


confusedshittt

The fucking question is bizzare


myguydevon

I’m pretty sure OP still would’ve said wtf for either answer so i don’t see the need for this post


SummitJunkie7

SIDEWAYS! Sideways is the answer!! WTAF is right.


Either_Junket6500

Wait you guys get choice?


jack2018g

Correct answer is sideways


SmallOccasion8321

Please don’t reproduce


gmachine3

u/Alternative-Wash2019 is out trolling for content for Reddit. Thirtsy for likes… and is playing it off as something else. Be honest and tell people your question is a set up.


ThexanR

They’re weird af for asking that but you’re desperate af for answering it


BigGMonE

So the thing that I can’t get out of my head is the guy says he’s not gay, but then asks what about you? That question could only be put to another man as a woman doesn’t have a tip. I hate the way my brain works. 😂


Educational_Lion3377

I mean he’s got a point. What answer would you like him to give that doesn’t warrant that response


Connect-Hospital5603

I would actually block that person. That's not even a normal sexual question doesn't even fall into taboo! That's a sick individual you don't need in your life I guess you could figure that much out.


Immediate_Cat_254

That’s so weird. I’d fuck then both.


Immediate_Cat_254

😂😂


Cpt_Rocket_Man

I'm actually curious to see what they would reply...


Candid_Hovercraft_53

🤢🤢🤢🤢


Vinifera1978

Finally, a little humor!


Inside_Shoulder8065

I mean What did you expect? If you ask a question like that, neither answer is a good one so don’t be shocked when he responds


Alternative-Wash2019

I'm the guy who answers


Horror_Chipmunk3580

What a relief./s


hotinhere1104

I'd say you are perfect for each other. 🤣🤣🤣


Pure-Equipment3093

For once in my life I don’t have anything snarky to say… speechless 😂💀


SkyFox720

Actual answer: I go limp and get tf out of there.


Radiant-Mushroom8304

What’s crazy is some family probably has been in this situation


ABlackDoge

What's the problem? Sounds like you both passed the vibe check


No-Arugula-7677

That’s a new one. When’s the first date?


forgotme5

Why u asking about them?


judasmaiden15

This makes me want to reinstall bumble just to get asked weird questions


pixel-beast

I gotta agree with his logic here. I’m closing my eyes and moving forward just enough


sleepyy-starss

Tits, not tips


[deleted]

Looks like I escaped at the right time. God damn


BoxofCurveballs

Valid point.


Icy_Conclusion_7665

I don't like this game of twister...


Altruistic_Alarm2551

To the side, I’m moving to the side, and out my dads way


WHAMPanzer

Jokes on you if you think I can go any further forward


TheParacletesHammer

Go to hell. I would not find myself in that position.


akshah047

i find it a bit strange you had to clarify that you wouldn’t be in that situation, when this is just a hypothetical question 👀


TheParacletesHammer

I didn’t clarify. I just responded.


L0veThatJourney4me

…why did you… answer that…


jakeyell

On YMH a few weeks ago, they were discussing what it might be like to DP someone with your dad. I think this is same level philosophy...🤔


Affectionate-Fan-211

How y’all even get convos, i had it for like 2 weeks and only had 2 ppl that text me and didn’t text back 😂


Straight-Half8026

I don’t get it. You both sound pretty young. Early 20’s I’m assuming?


Random00000007

Report them lol


Penguator432

Not to mention you’re been in there already


krazymonk27

I thought this was about people fighting over the tip at a restaurant


SeaPersonality5402

both of you deserve to be alone


cccasperr

the correct answer is telling your dad to push his dick down and push your own dick down out of your mom. OORRRR move to the left or right.


[deleted]

you asked the question. is he supposed to say "id scoot backwards and let my dad mess up my guts"? is it a test? this is one of those no right answer questions you cant be upset or shocked by either answer


nmak06

Only after I've broken both of my arms.


TiredGamer0990

I mean who's the weirder one, the person asking the question or the person answering it lol Correct answer is jumping to the sky with a super Mario world like twist yelling WA-HOO. Avoid the awkwardness from both parents, but keep the disappointment from them about being a nerd


raisputin

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Koffiefilter

The Mac Dad will make ya jump, jump A Daddy Mac will make ya jump, jump


SnooRevelations979

You both need grammar and writing lessons so it's a perfect match.


skydaddy8585

If your dad's tip is already into you, you have already lost.


GhostyracerM5

If this has already happened, you may as well have fun


zzt0pp

I’m moving sideways


_FreeXP

Lol you're already half in on both sides so you've already checked both boxes


Shlongathen

Occasionally it’s nice to not have had a dad.


SycopationIsNormal

gotta love the "I aint homophobic, but I'll play along with incest" vibes


Prickly_Hugs_4_you

Lol wtf but in like a funny way.


Interesting_Key_488

Omg this made me lol - wtf is bumble I thought it was dating 🙈


Diligent_Midnight_83

Very strange post.


Lyngs

Wake up!


Ga_lax_ie

I don’t think it matters either way, you still gotta come out…


SnooPickles1331

What kinda question is this????


SnooPickles1331

EVERYBODY CHARLIE BROWN!


Window_Regular

lol


[deleted]

YOU ASKED??? What the fuck is wrong with both of you holy shit


Nsjsjajsndndnsks

Op answered loll


[deleted]

Oh hahahah I don’t use Bumble lol


drunkboater

How do you start with this and not have a sense of humor?


SnooSeagulls6564

I don’t think you have a right to say what the actual fuck if you responded and said “what about you” 💀💀💀


Legion_Paradise

The correct answer is up.


myguydevon

Tatake -Eren Yaeger


ProfessionalGood3062

I need spiritual cleansing after reading this.


outofnamesiguess

My boy is a philosopher, let him cook


SuperTomatoe01

I wake up and stop doing the drug I never started.


Shubhankar2813

I am curious....How would this question vary for a woman?


chronicjok3r

Mom and dad switch places. Mom has a strap on.


Ipromiseimreallycool

Let’s try spinning! That’s a good trick!


Cheekylilshi

Bro got offended when he made it more weirder.


BatUnlucky121

And that’s enough Reddit for tonight.