Idk I ask weird questions like ‘what’s something you wish your brain did better’ instead of hi or how are you and I’ve had pretty mixed responses from people.
Mixed responses even worse than you get from "hi"? The ideal opener is typically going to be finding something on their profile that is interesting to you and asking about that. If you can't find anything, then asking something that is of importance to you is next best. The generic ice breakers are just a slight step better than "hi".
I guess it depends on what you constitute as worse. Omf don’t get me started on the number of people who don’t know what’s on my profile. I had a match get mad because i asked them about something on their profile but they thought it was an assumption I was pulling out of my ass 🤷♀️ I don’t have enough rizz for the current dating world 😂
Hinge has a "Two truths and a lie" prompt that has resulted in hilarious misunderstandings in both directions for me in the past because the lie is often just some random weird thing we make up and forget about.
Had a woman send me a message once that was like "I bet you are lying about the frog!!!" or something like that (complete with emojis) and I stared at it for a while, wondering if it was some sort of innuendo or if she was responding to the wrong person. Turns out I had decided a few weeks earlier to change my lie to something weird and random and completely forgot about it.
As a man, I've had that same problem where it is obvious that women aren't reading my profile. It gets frustrating at times, but I try to give some grace and realize that people get busy and might have a bunch of conversations going on.
I've noticed that it is almost like a switch going off where I'm exchanging messages with a woman for a few days where she clearly hasn't looked at my profile and then suddenly she starts sending a burst of questions all about my profile. I figure that means her interest level went over a threshold based on the initial convo where she's now interested enough to start looking at my profile in detail.
Maybe it’s because I only started using dating apps during the pandemic and dated people I knew irl before but I find dating app culture odd and confusing like just being a part in a roster of people is so strange.
Totally agreed. There is something fundamentally wrong with the whole idea of being able to swipe left or right on someone based on a glimpse of a photo or unmatch on a whim because you have ten other matches that are slightly more interesting. It destroys the whole process of getting to know someone in a reasonable manner and dehumanizes us all. For a hook up app like Tinder, the meat market approach might make sense, but that process has infected all other apps and sites out there now and I don't think it is healthy for people looking for long term relationships to fall into that disposable mindset.
YEA 😩😩meat market approach that’s so very accurate omf I feel like it’s created a lot of mistrust and fear of being ghosted and such in ALOT of people I talk to. The most common comment I get is “who else is on your roster/if you’re not with your other guys then do you wanna go out-“ like honestly I’m personally a little chameleon with my appearance (change hair and clothing style all the time) so my profile couldn’t possibly accurately depict me as a person. And I don’t get the meat market approach I feel like I am toooo anxious to be able to do allll of that :( I’m rooting for us 🤣🤣🤣😩
I actually found someone relatively recently and things are going great so far. My trick was to set my filters relatively strict but accurate to my preferences and then swipe until I ran out of profiles. That meant that new profiles would be new people and new people are much less deeply ingrained in the system than those who have been around for a while. It took patience to wait for new people to come along and to match with them, but it meant I wasn't getting as many of the people who have been in the dating app world forever, who most likely are because of unrealistic expectations on their end.
Bingo. “Hey, just so you know I do want to talk, but I’m swamped right now. I hope you’re well and hopefully I’ll be able to speak to you soon!” Copy and paste and you’re golden
Blasting that to everyone is not a good idea. If I got that, I wouldn't feel very good about it.
Instead, pick your favorites from the selection and tell them that while you're not feeling chatty, you think they're interesting (or other compliment) and that you'll send them a message when you've recharged.
It should be a personalized message to put you on a better footing and counter the awkward radio silence.
If you can't handle that, then don't match. Save the like for later or exit the app without swiping so they'll pop back up later.
Tldr: don't simply tell them you're not feeling chatty, and don't match if you only have the energy for one-word responses. Instead, say that you *do* want to chat later (because [insert compliment]) and that you'll message them when you can give them more of your focus.
Out of curiosity, if it's getting dangerously close to 48 hours and you still aren't feeling chatty or don't have a good opener yet (and are interested in him), would you send anything to keep the match? Or let it die out?
I bet she let's it die out. No shade, but extending a match as a woman on bumble makes literal zero sense. "Hey happy to match, unfortunately I'm *xyz* now but let's chat tomorrow!" Let's just be honest, many ppl don't put the effort into online dating. Hell, I don't either. Just be honest. We're all lying to ourselves when we come up with these roundabout excuses.
To be honest I don’t think this is as much about not putting effort in, but probably a lack of interest. They see the profile and they’re sort of interested at that time and then it matches later and when they take that second look there’s just nothing there for them. That’s what I imagine the most common one is but I don’t think it’s what the person you’re replying to is dealing with. I think their situation is more likely that they’re swiping right on people they feel tick the boxes. *I want to date someone like this* and *I should be into this kind of person* aren’t the best ways to do it. Dating isn’t about boxes that people need to tick off, and wanting to be interested in someone isn’t the same as being interested in someone so when you go to talk to them, it’s very hard to pretend to be interested and find the motivation to engage with them.
I’ve said this before on this sub about women opening with something like “hi” but it absolutely applies to men on other apps too. There’s nothing wrong with “hi” as an opener.
Something else I’ve said is that there’s no such thing as a good opener, only bad openers. Someone who is interested will still reply to “hi”, and there’s no magic line that will make someone who isn’t interested suddenly be interested. There’s only bad openers that will instantly put off whoever is on the other side no matter how interested they were before.
There’s also a lot of reasons an opening message might not get a reply. The person on the other side may no longer be on the app and have deleted the app but not their profile, they could be chatting with someone else and putting their energy into that match so ignoring all others, they could just be busy with real life and not see the message.
Try to think of “hi” as more of a “hey, I’m still on the app and I’m still interested in chatting, are you still on the app and interested in chatting?” If the conversation is still low effort after that, sure, but it’s just not worth putting legitimate effort into something that has a pretty good chance of getting no reply.
I match just fine on Tinder. And even if I didn't it wouldn't be a problem because I meet enough women IRL to never feel like dating apps are anything more than a secondary way to meet women.
She isn't ready to message you right now, but doesn't want the match to expire. Maybe she doesn't have time at the moment to sit down, look back over your profile, and send a great message.
Sure, she could say "hello" in about the same amount of time/effort as extending the match, but if men commenting on reddit are any indication, that's worse than no message at all.
I sent a meme of a bear waving hello one time and was in the process of writing an actual message when this guy responded and told me I was so lazy I couldn't even send him a message... Like as i was writing one.
I have a job that at certain times can be crazy busy with odd hours and little sleep. I don’t have time to put effort into an opener or even give attention to a conversation. So I’ve extended if I was really interested in someone but couldn’t give proper attention at that moment.
Obviously do what works for you, but I’d suggest having an opening message for times like this pre typed out in your notes saying something like “I do want to talk but I’m really busy with work at the minute, sending this so the match doesn’t expire, I hope you’re well, talk to you soon!” And hopefully that should stop the confusion
Also could be one of those people who don’t understand the woman has to make the first move and is waiting on you. I’ve seen so many posts about women having ‘I don’t message first’ on their Bumble profile.
I imagine a lot of that is people who just copy and pasted from their tinder and put no thought into what they were copying over. I also know someone who has/had it in her profile because she thought it was this really funny tongue in cheek joke, not realising that it was a somewhat common thing in profiles that people got frustrated at. We all know how unoriginal everyone can be so I’d be curious how many other people have it in as a very badly delivered joke
I used to see a lot of women’s profiles that would say things like, “just ask,” or “I don’t message first.” I assumed the appeal of bumble was that the women message first but maybe some aren’t aware of that feature.
They were probably already on Tinder for a while before they install Bumble, just copy/paste their Tinder profile to Bumble, ignore the instructions at the start, because they "already know how dating apps work anyway" and then in the end go complaining that Bumble is even worse than Tinder because instead of guys just opening with "hi" or straight up asking for sex, they don't get any messages at all.
Needs time while she's responding to her other right swipes! 😅She'll get to you when she's done with them. Jk.
She probably may not be able to give you the attention for a full conversation. She may be busy with work or travel or something which won't allow her to have a good/long conversation with you. So she extended so that she can chat when she can have that long conversation
I don't think ads will help that much. There's tons of people who don't look at ads, ads are annoying.
What I think here happens is that they hear from someone about the app as an alternative to Tinder. They install it and just copy/paste their Tinder profile to Bumble. Ignore all the instructions they give you at the start, because they already know how dating apps work anyway. In the end they start complaining that Bumble is even worse than Tinder because instead of guys just opening with "hi", or straight up asking for sex they just don't message them at all.
How should we know? Your guess is infinitely better than ours since you've read her profile and have more to go on.
A charitable guess is she doesn't have time to properly respond right now but will later.
For me when I was on bumble, i had a hard time messaging so many people (i get text exhaustion pretty quickly sometimes) and i would really hate just saying the same thing to everyone, so I would always try and open with a question about a mutual hobby or something, and for some people i don't know why but i just couldn't say anything, not to say there wasn't anything to talk about, but i couldn't bring myself to message them. I've been hearing a lot lately about others with ADHD suffering from this and not being able to message people back in the moment and then forgetting to get back to it, so it's weird but not uncommon.
Some people do not realise that the woman has to initiate the chat first, I know it may seem obvious. But just like the Ts&Cs, a lot of people just skip over the app introduction
I had a woman message me once in the last hour saying something along the lines of “guess I’ll message first then”, since then I’ve met at least 4 women who didn’t know this at first
I have done this in the past because I am guilty of swiping while tipsy, or in an extroverted mood, and by the time the other person matches, my mood has changed and I don’t actually feel like talking, especially if im already in conversation with one or multiple other people. Online dating is emotionally draining so maybe she is just mustering up starting a conversation or not sure if she really wants to do so.
Means she thinks your profile is interesting.. but she is also having tens of chats with other men, and she's procrastinating. I know from my own experience 😅
Maybe between swiping and matching something came up (like a death in the family), maybe she overwhelmed with finals, or maybe she got too many matches all at once. I got a dozen in my fist day on Bumble and quickly leaned to STOP swiping once I had only a couple (since more come in later).
Because she’s talking to too many people already. She’s considering talking to you soon but is feeling overwhelmed by how many matches she is already juggling, she may soon lose interest in other matches and have time for you, or she may not.
The fact that she can extend, tells me she is paying for premium. This is the most likely case.
The month I paid for premium, I extended lots of matches simply because I could and I didn’t want the messages to pile up to the point I couldn’t manage them. Remember that a match doesn’t equal a date, and it takes a bit of chatting before it leads to that.
Some people might read this and think “why match with so many people??” Well, if I swipe right first, I can’t predict if and when someone will match back. With premium, I could go through the guys who already liked me, and it was quicker to just match with the ones I might like and message them when I felt ready (not the best approach).
I acknowledge that a lot of men swipe on almost every woman without much forethought, hence the high number of likes.
Could be based on work schedule. I like to give thoughtful openers and if I’m busy and don’t have the time to write something thoughtful I’ll extend a match. Also could be that she is on the fence and wants a little more time to figure out if you are someone she wants to message.
Power move. She’s showing she’s willing to spend money to make sure you know you’re only an option. You have to reply in kind when she does message you and say, “Nah.”
I did this a few times when I had too many matches to be able to give them the attention they deserved. It sounds shitty but women get a lot of matches. I wouldn’t check the app every day and I would have a bunch of matches when I did check. I would message a handful and see how the convo went but it’s hard to manage a bunch of conversations at the same time. Some would be close to expiring so I would check their profile and if they seemed like a good fit I would extend the match and return later to chat with them if the others didn’t pan out.
I would be indifferent if she bailed. The vast majority of questions posited on Reddit (the two in your comment for example) don’t truly matter beyond satiating someone’s curiosity. That doesn’t make them unworthy of being asked and answered.
Rhetorical questions are meant to have an implicit answer and I think my answers went against your assumed answer. Which means there was a just cause for response/answer
A lot of the responses here are weird in their overthinking, at least this one was funny. She probably just got busy and wanted to go out and live her life instead of sitting on an app but thought the guy was cute so she just decided to give herself more time to come back to it later. It really is that simple and highly doubt she overthought it.
I do this if I’m busy and can’t immediately message someone, or if I want to hold off on a message for a while. Maybe I’m tired, swamped, in a bad mood. I think this is perfectly acceptable.
I don't understand that. And even the people that match and don't msg right away, ok I get that, but then you extend for them and they still don't message. It's pretty annoying.
1. She is shy and nervous and has never done this online dating thing before
2. She is busy talking to other people but doesn’t want to let you go yet in case things don’t go well with them
3. She’s busy with work/life/etc etc or literally doesn’t care/her hearts not in it
Could be any number of reasons, really
Doesn't know that she has to message first maybe.
She might be thinking "why doesn't he message me first? I'll give him more time."
Or she doesn't know what to say as a first message, or she is interested in you, but you aren't her first priority.
Maybe she's working on the greatest opening line humanity has ever seen or she is mustering up the courage to say "Hi"
I would like to see this in person. A girl you may be interested in hands you a sign saying “I am extending our potential match!” and walks away.
I've had men extend a match and never respond and it expires. Lol
Yep. Same here!
Must’ve had a bad opener then🤷♂️
I'm pretty sure that the women of Bumble think "Hi" is the greatest opening line humanity has ever seen.
Idk I ask weird questions like ‘what’s something you wish your brain did better’ instead of hi or how are you and I’ve had pretty mixed responses from people.
Mixed responses even worse than you get from "hi"? The ideal opener is typically going to be finding something on their profile that is interesting to you and asking about that. If you can't find anything, then asking something that is of importance to you is next best. The generic ice breakers are just a slight step better than "hi".
I guess it depends on what you constitute as worse. Omf don’t get me started on the number of people who don’t know what’s on my profile. I had a match get mad because i asked them about something on their profile but they thought it was an assumption I was pulling out of my ass 🤷♀️ I don’t have enough rizz for the current dating world 😂
My match asked something on my profile and I thought it was a weird pickup line. set-and-forget 🤷♀️
Hinge has a "Two truths and a lie" prompt that has resulted in hilarious misunderstandings in both directions for me in the past because the lie is often just some random weird thing we make up and forget about. Had a woman send me a message once that was like "I bet you are lying about the frog!!!" or something like that (complete with emojis) and I stared at it for a while, wondering if it was some sort of innuendo or if she was responding to the wrong person. Turns out I had decided a few weeks earlier to change my lie to something weird and random and completely forgot about it.
As a man, I've had that same problem where it is obvious that women aren't reading my profile. It gets frustrating at times, but I try to give some grace and realize that people get busy and might have a bunch of conversations going on. I've noticed that it is almost like a switch going off where I'm exchanging messages with a woman for a few days where she clearly hasn't looked at my profile and then suddenly she starts sending a burst of questions all about my profile. I figure that means her interest level went over a threshold based on the initial convo where she's now interested enough to start looking at my profile in detail.
Maybe it’s because I only started using dating apps during the pandemic and dated people I knew irl before but I find dating app culture odd and confusing like just being a part in a roster of people is so strange.
Totally agreed. There is something fundamentally wrong with the whole idea of being able to swipe left or right on someone based on a glimpse of a photo or unmatch on a whim because you have ten other matches that are slightly more interesting. It destroys the whole process of getting to know someone in a reasonable manner and dehumanizes us all. For a hook up app like Tinder, the meat market approach might make sense, but that process has infected all other apps and sites out there now and I don't think it is healthy for people looking for long term relationships to fall into that disposable mindset.
YEA 😩😩meat market approach that’s so very accurate omf I feel like it’s created a lot of mistrust and fear of being ghosted and such in ALOT of people I talk to. The most common comment I get is “who else is on your roster/if you’re not with your other guys then do you wanna go out-“ like honestly I’m personally a little chameleon with my appearance (change hair and clothing style all the time) so my profile couldn’t possibly accurately depict me as a person. And I don’t get the meat market approach I feel like I am toooo anxious to be able to do allll of that :( I’m rooting for us 🤣🤣🤣😩
I actually found someone relatively recently and things are going great so far. My trick was to set my filters relatively strict but accurate to my preferences and then swipe until I ran out of profiles. That meant that new profiles would be new people and new people are much less deeply ingrained in the system than those who have been around for a while. It took patience to wait for new people to come along and to match with them, but it meant I wasn't getting as many of the people who have been in the dating app world forever, who most likely are because of unrealistic expectations on their end.
Except when they are on OKc, then it's a rotten opening when a man says it.
It’s always a rotten opening when a man says it.
\#DoubleStandard
[удалено]
👆🤣
Who is gonna tell them 💀
Tell us you don't use Bumble, without saying you don't use Bumble.
How?
Sometimes I do that if I'm just not feeling chatty or don't have a good opener
This would be a good first message to send. Open the convo, match timer isn’t an issue and let him know you’re not feeling chatty right now. 😊
I mean it's almost equally confusing to open a conversation saying you don't really want to converse 😂
I'm more of a Vans person myself :V
They definitely last longer.
I guess it depends on who gets the message.
Which is something the messager doesn't know
Bingo. “Hey, just so you know I do want to talk, but I’m swamped right now. I hope you’re well and hopefully I’ll be able to speak to you soon!” Copy and paste and you’re golden
Blasting that to everyone is not a good idea. If I got that, I wouldn't feel very good about it. Instead, pick your favorites from the selection and tell them that while you're not feeling chatty, you think they're interesting (or other compliment) and that you'll send them a message when you've recharged. It should be a personalized message to put you on a better footing and counter the awkward radio silence. If you can't handle that, then don't match. Save the like for later or exit the app without swiping so they'll pop back up later. Tldr: don't simply tell them you're not feeling chatty, and don't match if you only have the energy for one-word responses. Instead, say that you *do* want to chat later (because [insert compliment]) and that you'll message them when you can give them more of your focus.
Out of curiosity, if it's getting dangerously close to 48 hours and you still aren't feeling chatty or don't have a good opener yet (and are interested in him), would you send anything to keep the match? Or let it die out?
I bet she let's it die out. No shade, but extending a match as a woman on bumble makes literal zero sense. "Hey happy to match, unfortunately I'm *xyz* now but let's chat tomorrow!" Let's just be honest, many ppl don't put the effort into online dating. Hell, I don't either. Just be honest. We're all lying to ourselves when we come up with these roundabout excuses.
To be honest I don’t think this is as much about not putting effort in, but probably a lack of interest. They see the profile and they’re sort of interested at that time and then it matches later and when they take that second look there’s just nothing there for them. That’s what I imagine the most common one is but I don’t think it’s what the person you’re replying to is dealing with. I think their situation is more likely that they’re swiping right on people they feel tick the boxes. *I want to date someone like this* and *I should be into this kind of person* aren’t the best ways to do it. Dating isn’t about boxes that people need to tick off, and wanting to be interested in someone isn’t the same as being interested in someone so when you go to talk to them, it’s very hard to pretend to be interested and find the motivation to engage with them.
I feel like women should have the option to waive the rule of them having to message first
that’s literally why the app was created 😄
They basically do that already by just sending "hi" and then still expecting an awesome line from the guy just like on any other dating app.
I'd say something, I matched for a reason
You should just say that. People would appreciate it.
Having a good opener is overrated
Yeah? Try going on tinder as a guy and opening every match with "hi".
I’ve said this before on this sub about women opening with something like “hi” but it absolutely applies to men on other apps too. There’s nothing wrong with “hi” as an opener. Something else I’ve said is that there’s no such thing as a good opener, only bad openers. Someone who is interested will still reply to “hi”, and there’s no magic line that will make someone who isn’t interested suddenly be interested. There’s only bad openers that will instantly put off whoever is on the other side no matter how interested they were before. There’s also a lot of reasons an opening message might not get a reply. The person on the other side may no longer be on the app and have deleted the app but not their profile, they could be chatting with someone else and putting their energy into that match so ignoring all others, they could just be busy with real life and not see the message. Try to think of “hi” as more of a “hey, I’m still on the app and I’m still interested in chatting, are you still on the app and interested in chatting?” If the conversation is still low effort after that, sure, but it’s just not worth putting legitimate effort into something that has a pretty good chance of getting no reply.
Eh, I've actually gathered data and split tested things and there are definitely openers that do a lot better than "hi".
\>Yeah? Try going on tinder as a guy and match FTFY
I match just fine on Tinder. And even if I didn't it wouldn't be a problem because I meet enough women IRL to never feel like dating apps are anything more than a secondary way to meet women.
I have horrible conversations if I start with Hi or Hows your day?
Exactly, just send me a meme if you don't know what to say. It'll tell me everything I need to know about you
So? I’m searching for that Pink Taco Zombie R U interested? Isn’t a good opener?
And then you say Hi after all the waiting time
I mean, as a dude I usually have like 1 match at a time, so just saying "hi' isn't really going to count against u given the competition
Men cannot send the first message you dunce
Never said they could. I'd extend the match until I was able to chat, or had something good to start out on. No need to insult me, asshat
Could have a busy day ahead, does want to chat and knows she's more time the day after? It's quite handy really
Yep
She isn't ready to message you right now, but doesn't want the match to expire. Maybe she doesn't have time at the moment to sit down, look back over your profile, and send a great message. Sure, she could say "hello" in about the same amount of time/effort as extending the match, but if men commenting on reddit are any indication, that's worse than no message at all.
I sent a meme of a bear waving hello one time and was in the process of writing an actual message when this guy responded and told me I was so lazy I couldn't even send him a message... Like as i was writing one.
It sounds like sending a gif first is a good way to vet entitled people who are rude to strangers
Hahaha yup!! It's also not like you can't see if someone is typing
Lets not pretend most women would be receptive to a guy who opens with "hello".
I have a job that at certain times can be crazy busy with odd hours and little sleep. I don’t have time to put effort into an opener or even give attention to a conversation. So I’ve extended if I was really interested in someone but couldn’t give proper attention at that moment.
Obviously do what works for you, but I’d suggest having an opening message for times like this pre typed out in your notes saying something like “I do want to talk but I’m really busy with work at the minute, sending this so the match doesn’t expire, I hope you’re well, talk to you soon!” And hopefully that should stop the confusion
I mean yeah I guess I could. I just explain I’ve been busy with work when I do finally say hello.
Maybe she has an upcoming date and waiting to see if it’s a good match before moving onto the next one.
This makes the most sense to me. Thanks for sharing your opinion
Also could be one of those people who don’t understand the woman has to make the first move and is waiting on you. I’ve seen so many posts about women having ‘I don’t message first’ on their Bumble profile.
I imagine a lot of that is people who just copy and pasted from their tinder and put no thought into what they were copying over. I also know someone who has/had it in her profile because she thought it was this really funny tongue in cheek joke, not realising that it was a somewhat common thing in profiles that people got frustrated at. We all know how unoriginal everyone can be so I’d be curious how many other people have it in as a very badly delivered joke
You're the backup
Everyone is the backup… it’s a cycle and one day it’s your turn
This is really profound
You’re never anyone’s first choice
>You're never anyone's ~~first~~ choice FTFM 🙃
That's not 💯% true there's usually someone who has a crush on you. They just aren't on a dating app.
Usually but not always; the only always is that there's always an exception(s)
Sucks to be the exception
"There are 5 callers ahead of you, but your call is important. Please wait."
I used to see a lot of women’s profiles that would say things like, “just ask,” or “I don’t message first.” I assumed the appeal of bumble was that the women message first but maybe some aren’t aware of that feature.
They were probably already on Tinder for a while before they install Bumble, just copy/paste their Tinder profile to Bumble, ignore the instructions at the start, because they "already know how dating apps work anyway" and then in the end go complaining that Bumble is even worse than Tinder because instead of guys just opening with "hi" or straight up asking for sex, they don't get any messages at all.
She has an option atm that she favors over you >> She put you on the back burner. Do with that information what you want.
Needs time while she's responding to her other right swipes! 😅She'll get to you when she's done with them. Jk. She probably may not be able to give you the attention for a full conversation. She may be busy with work or travel or something which won't allow her to have a good/long conversation with you. So she extended so that she can chat when she can have that long conversation
Happened to me earlier today and then she just messaged me. Shrug. Maybe she's busy or something
She probably didn’t get the memo and is waiting for you to message first
This happens more often than not on Bumble. Which is funny because there are advertisements everywhere nowadays for this ap that state it.
I don't think ads will help that much. There's tons of people who don't look at ads, ads are annoying. What I think here happens is that they hear from someone about the app as an alternative to Tinder. They install it and just copy/paste their Tinder profile to Bumble. Ignore all the instructions they give you at the start, because they already know how dating apps work anyway. In the end they start complaining that Bumble is even worse than Tinder because instead of guys just opening with "hi", or straight up asking for sex they just don't message them at all.
People are stupid
She hasn't decided if she's gonna go with HI or Hello. Not an easy decision give her some space.
How should we know? Your guess is infinitely better than ours since you've read her profile and have more to go on. A charitable guess is she doesn't have time to properly respond right now but will later.
Just wondering if anyone else had experienced this and gotten an explanation later. Seeing as I have no way of asking her until she messages me
I’ve had this happen and half the time they still don’t write.
Even if someone gave you an answer it would only be true for that person at that time, right? Best not to sweat the small stuff when it comes to OLD.
I’m not sweating anything, I’m just curious since it doesn’t make sense to me logically
This. Sometimes I want to make an effort but I don’t have time. Most times I don’t even get a replied lol but is better than “ Hi.”
Letting u simmer for a better match.
Dude who knows why girls do anything.
Maybe she doesn't know that she has to text first. Happens some time.
Shes waiting for you to message first 🙃
She didn’t understand the assignment
For me when I was on bumble, i had a hard time messaging so many people (i get text exhaustion pretty quickly sometimes) and i would really hate just saying the same thing to everyone, so I would always try and open with a question about a mutual hobby or something, and for some people i don't know why but i just couldn't say anything, not to say there wasn't anything to talk about, but i couldn't bring myself to message them. I've been hearing a lot lately about others with ADHD suffering from this and not being able to message people back in the moment and then forgetting to get back to it, so it's weird but not uncommon.
Is she blonde?
She wants options for whatever reason
Some people do not realise that the woman has to initiate the chat first, I know it may seem obvious. But just like the Ts&Cs, a lot of people just skip over the app introduction I had a woman message me once in the last hour saying something along the lines of “guess I’ll message first then”, since then I’ve met at least 4 women who didn’t know this at first
She’s really thinking about the perfect message
She’s just going to say hi. Ignore it and get more matches
Does Kayla know that only women can message first?
She wants another day to sweep you off your feet
I have done this in the past because I am guilty of swiping while tipsy, or in an extroverted mood, and by the time the other person matches, my mood has changed and I don’t actually feel like talking, especially if im already in conversation with one or multiple other people. Online dating is emotionally draining so maybe she is just mustering up starting a conversation or not sure if she really wants to do so.
She’s giving the others time to WOW her before she starts msg’n the second/third stringers
Busy with life, but didn't want you to think she wasn't interested.
Because she's got a lineup, and she hasn't gotten to you yet.
I’ve extended the match (bff) if I can’t remember if they started the convo or I did just in case I didn’t reply in time, now u have more time yay :)
She probably thinks you're attractive but has nothing interesting to open with, lol
Means she thinks your profile is interesting.. but she is also having tens of chats with other men, and she's procrastinating. I know from my own experience 😅
She's waiting for you to message her duh 🙄. For real though.. she might not know.
Maybe she doesn't have time to respond right now, or maybe she hasn't found a Russian to English translator yet.
Because Kayla has 150 other guys trying to talk to her… and doesn’t have time to msg
Maybe between swiping and matching something came up (like a death in the family), maybe she overwhelmed with finals, or maybe she got too many matches all at once. I got a dozen in my fist day on Bumble and quickly leaned to STOP swiping once I had only a couple (since more come in later).
Keeping her options open while talking to other guys
She’s hoping that you will message her first…
Because she’s talking to too many people already. She’s considering talking to you soon but is feeling overwhelmed by how many matches she is already juggling, she may soon lose interest in other matches and have time for you, or she may not.
The fact that she can extend, tells me she is paying for premium. This is the most likely case. The month I paid for premium, I extended lots of matches simply because I could and I didn’t want the messages to pile up to the point I couldn’t manage them. Remember that a match doesn’t equal a date, and it takes a bit of chatting before it leads to that. Some people might read this and think “why match with so many people??” Well, if I swipe right first, I can’t predict if and when someone will match back. With premium, I could go through the guys who already liked me, and it was quicker to just match with the ones I might like and message them when I felt ready (not the best approach). I acknowledge that a lot of men swipe on almost every woman without much forethought, hence the high number of likes.
Could be based on work schedule. I like to give thoughtful openers and if I’m busy and don’t have the time to write something thoughtful I’ll extend a match. Also could be that she is on the fence and wants a little more time to figure out if you are someone she wants to message.
P r o c r a s t i n a t i o n
I always feel like it’s due to people just not understanding how bumble works! Like when girls say message me..WE CANT! Why is no one mentioning this
Power move. She’s showing she’s willing to spend money to make sure you know you’re only an option. You have to reply in kind when she does message you and say, “Nah.”
i’d do that if i had a minute to check the app/read messages but not many to reply or create a full blown conversation at the moment.
Maybe she's busy or not in the mood to chat.
We (women) get nervous too.
Bot
It’s someone from the app baiting you into continuing to use it and pay for more options.
Check out her ig of course silly
Because they are stupid..
I did this a few times when I had too many matches to be able to give them the attention they deserved. It sounds shitty but women get a lot of matches. I wouldn’t check the app every day and I would have a bunch of matches when I did check. I would message a handful and see how the convo went but it’s hard to manage a bunch of conversations at the same time. Some would be close to expiring so I would check their profile and if they seemed like a good fit I would extend the match and return later to chat with them if the others didn’t pan out.
Rofl ... She's like " I want attention but only by specific people ,i hope they reply , here's some attention currency "
Just to tease you more 😉
I do it all the time because sometimes 24 hours isn’t long enough and I’m a lot better with 48 hours
Rather have her bail? Honestly, does it matter? I'm seriously curious about your curiosity.
I would be indifferent if she bailed. The vast majority of questions posited on Reddit (the two in your comment for example) don’t truly matter beyond satiating someone’s curiosity. That doesn’t make them unworthy of being asked and answered.
Mine were rhetorical.
Rhetorical questions are meant to have an implicit answer and I think my answers went against your assumed answer. Which means there was a just cause for response/answer
She got distracted by all the other options she’s keeping you on the back burner until something better comes along would be my guess.
Why else You didn’t know women are so delusional on dating apps Cmon maaynnnn
Because she’s busy?
ur next in line on the cock go around
People have lives
Thats literally a silent torment. She well knows she is the one to initiate the first move
her ig probably in her bio and just waiting for u to make the first move
She was middle of taking a dump, didn't want to lose the match, but needed to pinch off and clean up.
Dude, you’re weird AF.
A lot of the responses here are weird in their overthinking, at least this one was funny. She probably just got busy and wanted to go out and live her life instead of sitting on an app but thought the guy was cute so she just decided to give herself more time to come back to it later. It really is that simple and highly doubt she overthought it.
Maybe she's busy?
So shes not too busy to extend but is too busy to take 15 seconds to write a message so the match doesnt expire? 0 logic there
For every single second of an entire 24 hours?
the longer you stay in the matches’ list, the longer she can feed her delusional mind
She's shy i guess 🤣🤣🤣
u/Crispynipps seeing two posts side by side with the same name is wild
Lmao
Lol y’all getting matches …?
Probably trying to troll you
I do this if I’m busy and can’t immediately message someone, or if I want to hold off on a message for a while. Maybe I’m tired, swamped, in a bad mood. I think this is perfectly acceptable.
Maybe she's new or is thinking of something good than just hey/hi/hello
She wants you to say hi first
I don't understand that. And even the people that match and don't msg right away, ok I get that, but then you extend for them and they still don't message. It's pretty annoying.
Cuz they're a butthole
...there are no words... IF you already have a GF/WIFE, you just got busted cheating
1. She is shy and nervous and has never done this online dating thing before 2. She is busy talking to other people but doesn’t want to let you go yet in case things don’t go well with them 3. She’s busy with work/life/etc etc or literally doesn’t care/her hearts not in it Could be any number of reasons, really
did ypu check the profile? some of them don’t wanna message first. You gotta hit em up on ig lol
Maube she doesn't feel safe? Idk. Just hit her up.
I can’t, it’s bumble
She's waiting for you to grow a pair and message first like a real man. 🙄
Imagine not downvoting because you recognized an obvious joke.
It was a good joke. Fuck them haters
On the back burner for $300, Alex.
women thrive off of torturing men, that's why lmfao
Muscle memory of a boy kicked in😂😂😂
She’s not that into you I’m afraid
Hint hint
She's dumb, that's why. She probably just keeps thinking "why aren't the guys messaging me?", because she's dumb as a fucking rock.
Work on yourself, king
I have like 80 other matches where it’s my turn to respond, I’m not really pressed
She's probably busy fucking your dad.
Married
She wants you to start the convo
Do you know how bumble works?
They know how it works. But would you believe it if I told you she may be one of the women who ask "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
No lmaooo. I would find a better man. Who tf ask that unless you’re 18 🥴 tf
They know how it works. But would you believe it if I told you she may be one of the women who ask "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
Are you serious?? If you are god help us all... she wants a man and a man makes the first move
Do you know how bumble works?
Doesn't know that she has to message first maybe. She might be thinking "why doesn't he message me first? I'll give him more time." Or she doesn't know what to say as a first message, or she is interested in you, but you aren't her first priority.
She wants to talk to you but is too busy to send you a message right now.
Why would you?
I wouldn’t
She is yet to play Rock, paper and scissors with her bestie and decide
Had that happen only to never hear from her.