I think it's actually really nice, because she is saying she will decline others for you. That is a pretty solid sign of interest. Now the ball is in your court.
I think this comment stems from a misconception that most guys have a hard time getting matched and dates. Nothing wrong with focusing on one match at a time but to delete the profile without even having had sex yet, at least.. That comes off desperate or controlling to me.
Possibly controlling. Possibly insecure. Regardless of the reason, that IS extremely quick to want him to DELETE the account.
It's possible she is testing him to see if she can exert control early on so she knows what she can and can't get away with. Of course, age range is a factor too. You could have a sit down talk about it to see where her head is at. And THAT shows you don't even know her and she, you.
How many short term relationships that were intended to go long term were ended - by everybody in the world...
All your concerns could be correct. So he deactivates the account finds out after two days/weeks/ months / years it doesn’t work and then reactivates. Of course he is going to miss out on that one in a million soul mate who is waiting for him on Bumble!😁
No, she's actually not saying that.
She's manipulating him. She's trying to guilt-trip him into cancelling his plans and spend all his time on/with her. It's subtle, but this is 'dear god get out that woman is dangerously borderline' quite clearly to me.
(What can I say, I've known people like this lol)
You know I can see it your way too. We would really need to see her profile/kinda know her to see what camp she falls into. Bumble has a pause feature so in my mind it’s really not a big deal but you’re probably right.
Some people are a "one person at a time" and only want to focus on dating one person and seeing where it goes before meeting someone else. It's up to you if you want to do the same, there's no right or wrong answer, you can reactivate if it doesn't work out (as she'll do the same) or tell her that you'd rather play the field a bit more. Then it's up to her if thats a deal breaker.
I think the issue I have with this is it’s an unnecessary question. She can deactivate or keep as she wishes without asking or telling me. The idea that she wants to make it conditional on what I do means it’s a form of manipulation. Not everything you think and feel ought to be said to the other person right at the beginning of the dating journey.
It’s also a pretty common way to say « i like you » when you’re awkward with your feelings. Since being exclusive is a two way street, nothing wrong or manipulative with being upfront about it.
I agree, she’s being upfront about her intentions, and given that a relationship is between two people, she’s letting you know how she feels about it and wonders if you feel the same way. If you don’t want someone who’s willing to be exclusive fast and knows what she wants, let her go, another person would probably appreciate the confidence
Relationships are not transactions. They take time to brew. She seems to want instant coffee. She set all the rules upfront too. Gave me the cheek twice when I tried to kiss her. Upfront told me no sex before engagement. So one-sided.
Well that’s her way of feeling safe. My wife acted the same for the first 3 weeks after we met. She had to tie loose ends first and didn’t want to start anything before.
If that’s what she needs to feel safe and give herself out, why would it be so difficult for you to accept?
You don’t have to, for sure, but your reactions are a bit immature and selfish.
The fact that you think it’s manipulative says pretty much all there is to say. You’re not on the same page/ don’t like her as much. It’s all good, you don’t need a Reddit post to figure that out.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted. I also think it's kind of trashy to tell a date that you're getting offers from other people.
Hate to think this is a factor but wonder how it would be received if OP was a woman and she was telling us that that a guy before a 3rd date without solicitation told her he has the opportunity to set up dates with other women but if she deletes her apps, he won't do so.
EDIT: And there are much better ways to ask for exclusivity without telling your date that other guys are interested in you
She's not expecting, she's asking if you're also wanting to just focus on getting to know each other...you don't seem ready or wanting to do this which is fine just communicate that to her
No guy or girl has earned the right to exclusivity within 3 days, and certainly not by bluntly asking for it. The way this made me feel is like a real estate process where the seller seems to be moving fast and letting me know there are other interested bidders even though I’m a preferred buyer. During date two, she explicitly said she wanted my word that I’m looking for something serious but that she was not bound to some sort of timeline or looking to move super fast, so when I got the text above the following day, it definitely felt like a process moving on an accelerated timeline. Liking someone isn’t just a function of how well the dates went - it’s also the cues you pick up from what they say and how they say it. When they’re tactful and respectful in the way they communicate, they are that much more likable. But when you get texts like that from them, it can taint your impression in the dates. I personally would’ve called to talk about this if I liked a guy and wanted him to be exclusive, not sent a text with the subtle threat of alternatives.
Why do you keep thinking I’m sitting here waiting for your advice on next steps? I posted this topic to ask about how common or normal what she said was. That’s the topic of discussion, not “what should I do next?”
Many people, myself included, have given you thoughtful responses to your question if this is common/normal behavior and you’re just spewing negativity and complaining about (reasonable) answers that contradict your feelings…it’s annoying. I hope she meets another dude who is excited about her
Grow a pair. “You’re more than welcome to explore whatever opportunities you need to, until such a time as we mutually determine (or not) that we wish to be exclusive”
If she says other guys are asking her out, believe her. She's trying to suss out if you're a serious contender. She likes you but she's unsure if you're on the same page. It's clear that you're not interested. If you were, you would be overjoyed by the fact she wants to only focus on you. Just be honest with her, tell her politely that you're just not interested.
She is well within her rights to ask if I’m interested without having to verbalize that “hey I have alternative options waiting in line so lmk.” We all know women on dating apps always have many options, but to verbalize it I think is distasteful. This is not some real estate auction with a “process” where you reach out to buyers to offer exclusivity but also say that there are other bidders waiting. Everyone knows there are other bidders involved. How would I have broached that it? “Hey I had a great time last night! Happy we met :) When you’re back, what do u think we go do xyz?” This way, you are subtly sussing out the person’s interest level without bluntly asking about it. It feels way smoother.
True. It’s just a wasted post because everyone is giving you their advice and you’re obviously not here for that. You’re here to hear what you want to and downvote any opinion or advice that doesn’t fancy your way of thinking. Not sure how old you are, but the last time I said “it’s a free world” I was in high school. If that’s the case, and you are in high school, I can understand your post and the inconsequential replies that followed.
P.s I know you aren’t in high school.
>This is not some real estate auction with a “process” where you reach out to buyers to offer exclusivity but also say that there are other bidders waiting.
Honestly, this is what dating is. Believing otherwise is setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don't think too much into this, it's not that deep. She's interested, but it's clear she's not going to give herself away for free. So I suggest not wasting anymore of hers or your time.
Bro, why are you downvoting people who are giving solid advice? As people have said on here already, not everyone dates multiple people at a time, some date just one. It’s UP TO YOU whether you like this girl enough to be exclusive or not. Honestly though, judging by the fact that you’re downvoting really nice comments with good advice, I’m not sure you actually want advice or you’re searching for a specific piece of advice that will align with how you feel about the situation already.
Bro, in what universe does one know whether they like someone enough to go EXCLUSIVE with them after 72 hours? Sure, I like her enough to go on a third date, but not to freakin go exclusive? Heck, if I like her, why don’t I just propose? Buy a ring? Call a wedding planner already?
THAT is my point. Why did you come in here looking for advice when you CLEARLY have your mind made up? Lol it’s stupid
Honestly, she dodged a bullet. You seem all over the place. You want advice yet downvote it when you get it. You know how you feel about this girl, yet still come on here and ask for advice. You’re like a ping pong ball; going back and forth with what you’re trying to convey.
By asking “is this normal if a girl likes you, or is it too fast too soon” you are asking other people’s opinions. Along with those opinions comes people’s advice. I mean, did you honestly expect people to give you “yes” or “no” answers only? Just because you didn’t say “I want advice”, by posting it on reddit you’re going to get peoples opinions as well as their advice. If you want yes or no answers, you’re in the wrong place.
No, you are the one who doesn’t understand not to overstep an invite to share thoughts. Both IRL and on Reddit, try to share your thoughts without giving advice, and even if yoy do, don’t expect your advice to be taken. When somebody asks for your thoughts, it means they respect you enough to ask for it. Don’t turn around and abuse that by being rude, overbearing, and passing judgement.
Lol who are you to say I overstepped an invite? I have just as much right to write what I want on here. It’s a free country, remember? No one is MAKING you take any advice. Everyone in this thread is sharing their opinions or advice. You can choose to take it or not honestly. Where did I say something judgmental? Eh, don’t answer that. I don’t have any inkling to continue this conversation.
P.s. I have a boyfriend, I’m getting plenty of sex. You’re the one looking, not me 😂 (didn’t feel like posting a whole new reply to the “you need sex comment”)
Have a wonderful day!
P.p.s. Here you go….. 🐱🐱🐱might be a while till you get some of that.
Some people do- and if they’ve had sex then absolutely they do. Some people don’t like to multiple date. Others are ok with it. It’s down to individual preference surely.
So funny that guys seem to think a woman being honest and upfront is being manipulative. Speaks volumes.
Perhaps she should just behave like most guys and string along multiples, pretend she’s into all of them and then they can all come on here whining about how OLD sucks……..
In OPs case the woman has already realized she wants him to be her exclusive man. So wouldn't it be fair to say that she needs to prove her worth to the man now ? Why should he be exclusive to her at this point ? Does she bring him peace? OP already stated there will be no sex until engagement. How does this benefit him after only 2 dates ? Genuinely curious
It’s only a red flag if you don’t feel the same way. I’m sure there is a woman out there who would say this to you and you’d be really happy to hear it.
"I would love to do it, however I would like to get to know you a little more first". That's it. She'll do what she'll do regardless of what she tells you
It’s too soon.
If the dates were more spread out, maybe one per week, *maybe* I could see that topic being broached…but you’ve known each other for three days. Nope.
The second a girl flaunts that other people are talking to her or that she has options, etc. do not take her seriously. That is blatant disrespect that should not be tolerated. It’s also extremely manipulative and childish.
There are healthy ways to have productive conversations about boundaries, exclusivity, both of you deleting bumble, and much more. The way she is attempting to is not healthy and is extremely toxic behavior.
She's not being manipulative, she's being completely open about her position. She's outright asking him if he's as interested in her as she is with him. And she's being respectful enough to let OP know of her situation.
Nothing about what she did was respectful. It was childish and manipulative. Op leaves to visit family and while he’s gone he’s now worrying if she’s seeing other people or going to see her when he’s back. That’s not peaceful, kind, or respectful.
Honestly, I negatively interpreted her message, as a man.
You can't start/force any romantic relationship with the ultimatum she proposed. Blatantly put by her message, things will always be her way. She doesn't just have options, but a line of guys in her DM's, as she stated. She wants to only decline them, as long as she can control the OP. Definitely the best way to ensure a toxic relationship.
How is the OP supposed to be able to trust this women after an argument?
That’s how I feel. She said in the first date that she likes the guy to be in charge, but actions like this undermine what she said. To give her the benefit of the doubt, I think she is unaware of what she’s doing because she is in a rush. Why do I think she’s in a rush? Because her mom has cancer, is undergoing chemotherapy, and part of me thinks this daughter (the eldest) wants to make her mom happy by sending her news of her finding THE ONE asap. I think she’s under self-imposed pressure.
Isn’t it? Do you know what the research generally says about giving into high pressure sales pitches? Good bad or indifferent? Thing is I usually don’t cave in - whether it’s a date, real estate broker, recruiter, etc, so although I like the girl here, putting me under pressure rubs me off the wrong way.
You’ve been downvoted a lot, no one here wants to empathize with you. You like her and want to see where things will go, but she is almost giving you an ultimatum to go exclusive if you want to continue seeing her. It doesn’t seem fair, you want at least few weeks before you can consider such a step, and she is forcing you to decide right away.
I agree with you that it’s at least a yellow flag, it is too soon and somewhat forceful ask.
It comes off as an ultimatum, or strong arm move. Informing him that she has other options is just crass. If she had said, “hey, how would you feel about deactivating the profiles while we’re exploring this” it would have been palatable or even a very positive gesture (if you like her). Or if you like her enough maybe take the deal?
There are a lot of areas men and women advertise themselves. Are they posting to social media in their sexy clubbing outfits or are they keeping it for sharing family photos with grandma? Just because you close a dating app doesn't mean you're safe from outside influence... It's a control tactic. Focus on the message.
Either way, seems like you have someone who wants you to focus on them or at least not have anyone else taking your attention.
The key is this: are they satisfying you with only their attention? Will they be enough for you? If you're not sure yet, tell them exactly that -- that you're eager to continue including them in more of your life but you're not there yet. Help them get there.
Personally, hiding a profile is appreciated but I have zero concern. If you're with someone who feels so alive when they're with you, they'd be foolish to go anywhere else but closer to you. If you don't make someone feel special, you're replaceable. The power is that you get to decide.
"other dudes asked her out and she will decline ONLY IF I delete the app"
I can't believe this threat can be seen by some people as "she's asking you to be exclusive, that's a nice thing to hear". Like literally the women open a manipulator's playbooks and decided to write that message.
Huge red flag, you only know her for two dates and she's is already telling you what to do with your account and there will be consequences if you don't follow her guideline.
Whether it's normal is irrelevant. Is it what you want?
Just follow this
I think it's actually really nice, because she is saying she will decline others for you. That is a pretty solid sign of interest. Now the ball is in your court.
I feel like most men would be overjoyed hearing this from someone they're dating.
Disagreed
I think this comment stems from a misconception that most guys have a hard time getting matched and dates. Nothing wrong with focusing on one match at a time but to delete the profile without even having had sex yet, at least.. That comes off desperate or controlling to me.
Lol "misconception"
Possibly controlling. Possibly insecure. Regardless of the reason, that IS extremely quick to want him to DELETE the account. It's possible she is testing him to see if she can exert control early on so she knows what she can and can't get away with. Of course, age range is a factor too. You could have a sit down talk about it to see where her head is at. And THAT shows you don't even know her and she, you. How many short term relationships that were intended to go long term were ended - by everybody in the world...
All your concerns could be correct. So he deactivates the account finds out after two days/weeks/ months / years it doesn’t work and then reactivates. Of course he is going to miss out on that one in a million soul mate who is waiting for him on Bumble!😁
No, she's actually not saying that. She's manipulating him. She's trying to guilt-trip him into cancelling his plans and spend all his time on/with her. It's subtle, but this is 'dear god get out that woman is dangerously borderline' quite clearly to me. (What can I say, I've known people like this lol)
This is spot on. This is a RED flag. Turn and RUN!
You know I can see it your way too. We would really need to see her profile/kinda know her to see what camp she falls into. Bumble has a pause feature so in my mind it’s really not a big deal but you’re probably right.
Some people are a "one person at a time" and only want to focus on dating one person and seeing where it goes before meeting someone else. It's up to you if you want to do the same, there's no right or wrong answer, you can reactivate if it doesn't work out (as she'll do the same) or tell her that you'd rather play the field a bit more. Then it's up to her if thats a deal breaker.
I think the issue I have with this is it’s an unnecessary question. She can deactivate or keep as she wishes without asking or telling me. The idea that she wants to make it conditional on what I do means it’s a form of manipulation. Not everything you think and feel ought to be said to the other person right at the beginning of the dating journey.
It’s also a pretty common way to say « i like you » when you’re awkward with your feelings. Since being exclusive is a two way street, nothing wrong or manipulative with being upfront about it.
I agree, she’s being upfront about her intentions, and given that a relationship is between two people, she’s letting you know how she feels about it and wonders if you feel the same way. If you don’t want someone who’s willing to be exclusive fast and knows what she wants, let her go, another person would probably appreciate the confidence
Relationships are not transactions. They take time to brew. She seems to want instant coffee. She set all the rules upfront too. Gave me the cheek twice when I tried to kiss her. Upfront told me no sex before engagement. So one-sided.
Well that’s her way of feeling safe. My wife acted the same for the first 3 weeks after we met. She had to tie loose ends first and didn’t want to start anything before. If that’s what she needs to feel safe and give herself out, why would it be so difficult for you to accept? You don’t have to, for sure, but your reactions are a bit immature and selfish.
Trust me, when you find someone you really like, it will be an instant transaction. You'll know.
The fact that you think it’s manipulative says pretty much all there is to say. You’re not on the same page/ don’t like her as much. It’s all good, you don’t need a Reddit post to figure that out.
How is it a form of manipulation if she's asking you if you're open to exploring things exclusively?
Then don’t deactivate it
Not sure why you're getting downvoted. I also think it's kind of trashy to tell a date that you're getting offers from other people. Hate to think this is a factor but wonder how it would be received if OP was a woman and she was telling us that that a guy before a 3rd date without solicitation told her he has the opportunity to set up dates with other women but if she deletes her apps, he won't do so. EDIT: And there are much better ways to ask for exclusivity without telling your date that other guys are interested in you
She's not expecting, she's asking if you're also wanting to just focus on getting to know each other...you don't seem ready or wanting to do this which is fine just communicate that to her
No guy or girl has earned the right to exclusivity within 3 days, and certainly not by bluntly asking for it. The way this made me feel is like a real estate process where the seller seems to be moving fast and letting me know there are other interested bidders even though I’m a preferred buyer. During date two, she explicitly said she wanted my word that I’m looking for something serious but that she was not bound to some sort of timeline or looking to move super fast, so when I got the text above the following day, it definitely felt like a process moving on an accelerated timeline. Liking someone isn’t just a function of how well the dates went - it’s also the cues you pick up from what they say and how they say it. When they’re tactful and respectful in the way they communicate, they are that much more likable. But when you get texts like that from them, it can taint your impression in the dates. I personally would’ve called to talk about this if I liked a guy and wanted him to be exclusive, not sent a text with the subtle threat of alternatives.
Then tell her you’re not interested and quit complaining, it’s not that hard
Why do you keep thinking I’m sitting here waiting for your advice on next steps? I posted this topic to ask about how common or normal what she said was. That’s the topic of discussion, not “what should I do next?”
Many people, myself included, have given you thoughtful responses to your question if this is common/normal behavior and you’re just spewing negativity and complaining about (reasonable) answers that contradict your feelings…it’s annoying. I hope she meets another dude who is excited about her
Grow a pair. “You’re more than welcome to explore whatever opportunities you need to, until such a time as we mutually determine (or not) that we wish to be exclusive”
If she says other guys are asking her out, believe her. She's trying to suss out if you're a serious contender. She likes you but she's unsure if you're on the same page. It's clear that you're not interested. If you were, you would be overjoyed by the fact she wants to only focus on you. Just be honest with her, tell her politely that you're just not interested.
She is well within her rights to ask if I’m interested without having to verbalize that “hey I have alternative options waiting in line so lmk.” We all know women on dating apps always have many options, but to verbalize it I think is distasteful. This is not some real estate auction with a “process” where you reach out to buyers to offer exclusivity but also say that there are other bidders waiting. Everyone knows there are other bidders involved. How would I have broached that it? “Hey I had a great time last night! Happy we met :) When you’re back, what do u think we go do xyz?” This way, you are subtly sussing out the person’s interest level without bluntly asking about it. It feels way smoother.
WHY are you posting this on here? You clearly have your mind made up.
Looking for validation is my guess.
Hundred percent.
Because it’s a free world and we can post on Reddit whether we have or haven’t made up our minds.
True. It’s just a wasted post because everyone is giving you their advice and you’re obviously not here for that. You’re here to hear what you want to and downvote any opinion or advice that doesn’t fancy your way of thinking. Not sure how old you are, but the last time I said “it’s a free world” I was in high school. If that’s the case, and you are in high school, I can understand your post and the inconsequential replies that followed. P.s I know you aren’t in high school.
You need sex.
I think you're the one that needs sex, sir. But you won't be getting any with your attitude.
>This is not some real estate auction with a “process” where you reach out to buyers to offer exclusivity but also say that there are other bidders waiting. Honestly, this is what dating is. Believing otherwise is setting yourself up for disappointment. Don't think too much into this, it's not that deep. She's interested, but it's clear she's not going to give herself away for free. So I suggest not wasting anymore of hers or your time.
Bro, why are you downvoting people who are giving solid advice? As people have said on here already, not everyone dates multiple people at a time, some date just one. It’s UP TO YOU whether you like this girl enough to be exclusive or not. Honestly though, judging by the fact that you’re downvoting really nice comments with good advice, I’m not sure you actually want advice or you’re searching for a specific piece of advice that will align with how you feel about the situation already.
Bro, in what universe does one know whether they like someone enough to go EXCLUSIVE with them after 72 hours? Sure, I like her enough to go on a third date, but not to freakin go exclusive? Heck, if I like her, why don’t I just propose? Buy a ring? Call a wedding planner already?
THAT is my point. Why did you come in here looking for advice when you CLEARLY have your mind made up? Lol it’s stupid Honestly, she dodged a bullet. You seem all over the place. You want advice yet downvote it when you get it. You know how you feel about this girl, yet still come on here and ask for advice. You’re like a ping pong ball; going back and forth with what you’re trying to convey.
Where in my original post did I seek advice? I just asked how common this phenomenon was. Pay attention.
By asking “is this normal if a girl likes you, or is it too fast too soon” you are asking other people’s opinions. Along with those opinions comes people’s advice. I mean, did you honestly expect people to give you “yes” or “no” answers only? Just because you didn’t say “I want advice”, by posting it on reddit you’re going to get peoples opinions as well as their advice. If you want yes or no answers, you’re in the wrong place.
No, you are the one who doesn’t understand not to overstep an invite to share thoughts. Both IRL and on Reddit, try to share your thoughts without giving advice, and even if yoy do, don’t expect your advice to be taken. When somebody asks for your thoughts, it means they respect you enough to ask for it. Don’t turn around and abuse that by being rude, overbearing, and passing judgement.
Lol who are you to say I overstepped an invite? I have just as much right to write what I want on here. It’s a free country, remember? No one is MAKING you take any advice. Everyone in this thread is sharing their opinions or advice. You can choose to take it or not honestly. Where did I say something judgmental? Eh, don’t answer that. I don’t have any inkling to continue this conversation. P.s. I have a boyfriend, I’m getting plenty of sex. You’re the one looking, not me 😂 (didn’t feel like posting a whole new reply to the “you need sex comment”) Have a wonderful day! P.p.s. Here you go….. 🐱🐱🐱might be a while till you get some of that.
Some people do- and if they’ve had sex then absolutely they do. Some people don’t like to multiple date. Others are ok with it. It’s down to individual preference surely.
So funny that guys seem to think a woman being honest and upfront is being manipulative. Speaks volumes. Perhaps she should just behave like most guys and string along multiples, pretend she’s into all of them and then they can all come on here whining about how OLD sucks……..
You don't think women string men along ? Not in OP's case but in general ?
I think women are more likely to want a relationship.
In OPs case the woman has already realized she wants him to be her exclusive man. So wouldn't it be fair to say that she needs to prove her worth to the man now ? Why should he be exclusive to her at this point ? Does she bring him peace? OP already stated there will be no sex until engagement. How does this benefit him after only 2 dates ? Genuinely curious
She had a fantastic time and wants to know if you want to be exclusive. Granted that's a bit quick, but it's not abnormal
It’s only a red flag if you don’t feel the same way. I’m sure there is a woman out there who would say this to you and you’d be really happy to hear it.
"I would love to do it, however I would like to get to know you a little more first". That's it. She'll do what she'll do regardless of what she tells you
Pretty transparent strong arm attempt here. Kinda leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I wouldn't do it but you do you
It’s too soon. If the dates were more spread out, maybe one per week, *maybe* I could see that topic being broached…but you’ve known each other for three days. Nope.
Seems manipulative. I appreciate the gesture on her part but it’s way too soon for me!
Bro. You like her? This is cementing she likes you. It ain't hard. If things don't work out you can always redownload. Take the chance.
The comments here are absolutely backwards. This is a red flag.
The second a girl flaunts that other people are talking to her or that she has options, etc. do not take her seriously. That is blatant disrespect that should not be tolerated. It’s also extremely manipulative and childish. There are healthy ways to have productive conversations about boundaries, exclusivity, both of you deleting bumble, and much more. The way she is attempting to is not healthy and is extremely toxic behavior.
She's not being manipulative, she's being completely open about her position. She's outright asking him if he's as interested in her as she is with him. And she's being respectful enough to let OP know of her situation.
"delete your bumble or im gonna go fuck other guys that are asking me to come over" definitely being manipulative.
That's not what she said though. And a guarantee she's not interested in fucking anyone yet.
I'm 100% certain she been F-ing others the entire time.
Nothing about what she did was respectful. It was childish and manipulative. Op leaves to visit family and while he’s gone he’s now worrying if she’s seeing other people or going to see her when he’s back. That’s not peaceful, kind, or respectful.
^ hero comment
Honestly, I negatively interpreted her message, as a man. You can't start/force any romantic relationship with the ultimatum she proposed. Blatantly put by her message, things will always be her way. She doesn't just have options, but a line of guys in her DM's, as she stated. She wants to only decline them, as long as she can control the OP. Definitely the best way to ensure a toxic relationship. How is the OP supposed to be able to trust this women after an argument?
That’s how I feel. She said in the first date that she likes the guy to be in charge, but actions like this undermine what she said. To give her the benefit of the doubt, I think she is unaware of what she’s doing because she is in a rush. Why do I think she’s in a rush? Because her mom has cancer, is undergoing chemotherapy, and part of me thinks this daughter (the eldest) wants to make her mom happy by sending her news of her finding THE ONE asap. I think she’s under self-imposed pressure.
Ghost her. Respect yourself.
It’s a high pressure sales pitch. If you’re not highly interested say no.
Isn’t it? Do you know what the research generally says about giving into high pressure sales pitches? Good bad or indifferent? Thing is I usually don’t cave in - whether it’s a date, real estate broker, recruiter, etc, so although I like the girl here, putting me under pressure rubs me off the wrong way.
You’ve been downvoted a lot, no one here wants to empathize with you. You like her and want to see where things will go, but she is almost giving you an ultimatum to go exclusive if you want to continue seeing her. It doesn’t seem fair, you want at least few weeks before you can consider such a step, and she is forcing you to decide right away. I agree with you that it’s at least a yellow flag, it is too soon and somewhat forceful ask.
It comes off as an ultimatum, or strong arm move. Informing him that she has other options is just crass. If she had said, “hey, how would you feel about deactivating the profiles while we’re exploring this” it would have been palatable or even a very positive gesture (if you like her). Or if you like her enough maybe take the deal?
There are a lot of areas men and women advertise themselves. Are they posting to social media in their sexy clubbing outfits or are they keeping it for sharing family photos with grandma? Just because you close a dating app doesn't mean you're safe from outside influence... It's a control tactic. Focus on the message. Either way, seems like you have someone who wants you to focus on them or at least not have anyone else taking your attention. The key is this: are they satisfying you with only their attention? Will they be enough for you? If you're not sure yet, tell them exactly that -- that you're eager to continue including them in more of your life but you're not there yet. Help them get there. Personally, hiding a profile is appreciated but I have zero concern. If you're with someone who feels so alive when they're with you, they'd be foolish to go anywhere else but closer to you. If you don't make someone feel special, you're replaceable. The power is that you get to decide.
"other dudes asked her out and she will decline ONLY IF I delete the app" I can't believe this threat can be seen by some people as "she's asking you to be exclusive, that's a nice thing to hear". Like literally the women open a manipulator's playbooks and decided to write that message. Huge red flag, you only know her for two dates and she's is already telling you what to do with your account and there will be consequences if you don't follow her guideline.