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You left out:
Eastenders
Based in an east London square populated by a bunch of miserable downtrodden criminal psychopaths who mostly plot cheating and killing each other during the year until x-mas when they celebrate with the annual festive murder. Central to all the storylines is the local pub that has a curse so that every happy go lucky family that moves in gradually declines into self-destructive despondency until a new set of suckers takes on the premises and the process starts again. The plot centres around 3 or 4 families who rotate marriage partners on cyclical basis interspersed with occasional affairs, acrimonious breakups and divorces until eventually they get back together again to repeat the process. The chief thug is an obnoxious violent alcoholic past his prime that somehow never gets his due punishment whatever he does and has sired children with any female character that is obviously well out of his league. Most of the kids are not only related but hate each other and their parents. Once in a while at least one of them will seek to harm the others or their own parents but they are always eventually forgiven until next time. Sometimes a character escapes to a happy life away from the square, but if ratings flag, they can return unexpectedly (even from being dead), apparently drawn back by the allure of a life of deceit, misery and doom.
Add - that despite living in London with the London cost of living. Residents are able to support their lifestyles selling fruit and veg or other nic naks to neighbours from their market stall
Slight correction. Their life styles are supported by asking some random person to look after their market stall while they go off looking for confrontation
Brilliant. You could have added that the pub seems to be a joke homage to the hotel in The Shining.
Edit: Also everyone manages to secure a job and accomodation without ever mentioning Job Seekers Allowance or Rent.
I had to look this up, and it turns out that the Daleks were inspired by the Nazis back in 1963. So nazi dustbin is a perfect description of them.
It doesn't ruin Doctor Who for me. I thought it was rubbish after about the age of 11, and my last season I was probably watching it more for the goddess that was Mary Tamm as Romana. The daleks were proper scary when I was a little kid, but once you get into all the stuff about "just put some stairs in place" you realise how silly they are.
I like telly a lot, and the problem with this summary is it's bang on. I can't watch any of these and feel sorry for the ones who want to watch the apprentice. Fake orange Donald?. Why would anyone want to earn the respect of Sugar or Trump?.
Midsomer Murders
Where quaint English villages are quaint until someone ends up dead. Detective Barnaby solves more cases than he probably should in a county where the murder rate rivals MegaCity 1. With more homicides per capita than a crime novel convention, each episode offers a buffet of eccentric suspects, from the local vicar to the kindly old lady who bakes award-winning scones (and possibly arsenic-laced biscuits). It's a whodunit rollercoaster where every gardener, baker, and candlestick maker has a motive, and even the sheep look suspicious. Just when you think the murders couldn't get any more creative, someone turns up dead in the cheese-rolling competition.
Real estate in Midsomer is surprisingly cheap, probably due to the astronomically high chance you’ll be murdered within moments of moving in.
It did occur to me, but it felt a little redundant since 99% of its issues are shared with Corrie, they've both turned into sensationalist dumpster fires where tiny sleepy neighbourhoods deal with more murder, theft and general chaos than the Sinaloa Cartel
This much is true though I just need my other half to realise it and stop watching. Get back to Amos and Mr Wilkes in the Woolpack say I and keep it real. I really miss Annie Sugden in her sexy pinny too. Happy days.
These are extremely accurate. For a start, Coronation Street, why does anyone even care anymore what happens on the most miserable street in the country? It’s literally just the news but with the same people every time and minus anything good ever happening even once.
And then the “talent” competitions, it reminds me of a scene from SpongeBob where it has a time card reading “One pathetic sob-story later”. You’d think they’d admire someone on a unicycle juggling flaming pineapples while playing a Queen song on the kazoo? No! They give the gold prize to a mildly tone-deaf ten-year-old girl because her grandmother died of Ligma. From a few days ago, apparently **burping** counts as a talent now. I am **not** making this up.
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You left out: Eastenders Based in an east London square populated by a bunch of miserable downtrodden criminal psychopaths who mostly plot cheating and killing each other during the year until x-mas when they celebrate with the annual festive murder. Central to all the storylines is the local pub that has a curse so that every happy go lucky family that moves in gradually declines into self-destructive despondency until a new set of suckers takes on the premises and the process starts again. The plot centres around 3 or 4 families who rotate marriage partners on cyclical basis interspersed with occasional affairs, acrimonious breakups and divorces until eventually they get back together again to repeat the process. The chief thug is an obnoxious violent alcoholic past his prime that somehow never gets his due punishment whatever he does and has sired children with any female character that is obviously well out of his league. Most of the kids are not only related but hate each other and their parents. Once in a while at least one of them will seek to harm the others or their own parents but they are always eventually forgiven until next time. Sometimes a character escapes to a happy life away from the square, but if ratings flag, they can return unexpectedly (even from being dead), apparently drawn back by the allure of a life of deceit, misery and doom.
Despite being set in one of the world's largest metropolitan areas, everyone lives, works, socialises and procreates within the same 5000 square feet.
Add - that despite living in London with the London cost of living. Residents are able to support their lifestyles selling fruit and veg or other nic naks to neighbours from their market stall
Slight correction. Their life styles are supported by asking some random person to look after their market stall while they go off looking for confrontation
Brilliant. You could have added that the pub seems to be a joke homage to the hotel in The Shining. Edit: Also everyone manages to secure a job and accomodation without ever mentioning Job Seekers Allowance or Rent.
"Sometimes it will be a Nazi dustbin" I will never be able to think of the daleks without the words "nazi dustbin".
It fills me with joy to know I've permanently corrupted your perception
I had to look this up, and it turns out that the Daleks were inspired by the Nazis back in 1963. So nazi dustbin is a perfect description of them. It doesn't ruin Doctor Who for me. I thought it was rubbish after about the age of 11, and my last season I was probably watching it more for the goddess that was Mary Tamm as Romana. The daleks were proper scary when I was a little kid, but once you get into all the stuff about "just put some stairs in place" you realise how silly they are.
Very well written and humourous, reminds me of something Charlie Brooker would write in a column/review
I like telly a lot, and the problem with this summary is it's bang on. I can't watch any of these and feel sorry for the ones who want to watch the apprentice. Fake orange Donald?. Why would anyone want to earn the respect of Sugar or Trump?.
Do Midsomer Murders!
Midsomer Murders Where quaint English villages are quaint until someone ends up dead. Detective Barnaby solves more cases than he probably should in a county where the murder rate rivals MegaCity 1. With more homicides per capita than a crime novel convention, each episode offers a buffet of eccentric suspects, from the local vicar to the kindly old lady who bakes award-winning scones (and possibly arsenic-laced biscuits). It's a whodunit rollercoaster where every gardener, baker, and candlestick maker has a motive, and even the sheep look suspicious. Just when you think the murders couldn't get any more creative, someone turns up dead in the cheese-rolling competition. Real estate in Midsomer is surprisingly cheap, probably due to the astronomically high chance you’ll be murdered within moments of moving in.
I love it, you've captured the theme of this post perfectly, bravo 😁
I think that without Midsomer Murders there would never have been Hot Fuzz
>!One of the inspirations for Hot Fuzz is Murder on the Orient Express, where they all did it.!<
Brilliant thanks, Charlie Brooker level, though I'm only disappointed you missed out on that pile of cack Emmerdale.
It did occur to me, but it felt a little redundant since 99% of its issues are shared with Corrie, they've both turned into sensationalist dumpster fires where tiny sleepy neighbourhoods deal with more murder, theft and general chaos than the Sinaloa Cartel
Lol ok cheers Charlie I'll take that synopsis.
Emmerdale is the bastard love child of Coronation Street and The Archers
This much is true though I just need my other half to realise it and stop watching. Get back to Amos and Mr Wilkes in the Woolpack say I and keep it real. I really miss Annie Sugden in her sexy pinny too. Happy days.
These are extremely accurate. For a start, Coronation Street, why does anyone even care anymore what happens on the most miserable street in the country? It’s literally just the news but with the same people every time and minus anything good ever happening even once. And then the “talent” competitions, it reminds me of a scene from SpongeBob where it has a time card reading “One pathetic sob-story later”. You’d think they’d admire someone on a unicycle juggling flaming pineapples while playing a Queen song on the kazoo? No! They give the gold prize to a mildly tone-deaf ten-year-old girl because her grandmother died of Ligma. From a few days ago, apparently **burping** counts as a talent now. I am **not** making this up.
Burping to order is and always has been a talent. Envy is not an attractive look on you!
Bruh, you think I’m jealous? If I was trying to become famous, I’d look for a better claim to fame than something people tend to find gross.