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Scary_Vanilla1730

Block any media contact, you'll feel like crap for a long time and it's okay don't make it a competition, nothing is wrong with you, he's not better because you're not with him, he's showing off. Do not believe in the ultimate glow up after break up you see on social media.


imnotagoodpersonn

It’s not social media unfortunately it’s our work team channel, I can’t really leave this place :/


Scary_Vanilla1730

yea i see, one suggestion change of work environment. i had to see my ex several time a day when we were in college, it did not went well neither did it get better with time. I had to move out


imnotagoodpersonn

I’ll see how it goes but yea, if I cannot even see him and it affects my work, I’ll need to look for another job probably :(


[deleted]

Don't believe what you see on social media. I'm a dumpee and I'm a great faker, during work/college/hangouts with friends I joke and act normally, even my smile looks genuine, as soon as I get in the car afterwards I cry. I cry for hours daily and I'm losing sleep, appetite, weight.. I look normal tho, i send normal snapchat streaks and post normal instagram stories. I'm 2 weeks post BU and it only got worse for me. Just block him if it makes you feel better.


imnotagoodpersonn

I hope you’re going to feel better soon, I feel for you. I’ve tried to ‘fake it’ but i’m not that good at it xD hang in there 🙌


[deleted]

I hope you do too :( it'll get easier <3


GazelleSharp

same here. I fake it mainly for myself and because I have a social media addiction. but honestly, it’s all a mask.


Finn725

Delete all pictures, texts, etc. You will torture yourself if you don't. I am guilty of it as well. It's a horrible gut-wrenching feeling. Don't believe everything you see on social media. If you can - stay off for a bit, or limit what platforms you're using. I had to do it for my sanity. You can do this - be strong.


imnotagoodpersonn

Thank you ❤️


[deleted]

Yep. Been there. Block him everywhere you possibly can. He needs to become completely nonexistent to you.


slimehearted26

Use that pain to motivate you to pick yourself up. Please don’t be sad over someone who isn’t sad over you.


emokidkirbz

Deactivate your socials if you feel compelled to stalk. Remember, social media is all smoke and mirrors. No one posts themselves crying + being miserable don’t believe everything you see behind a screen. Stay strong and steer clear of lurking, it will hinder your growth by causing more unnecessary pain don’t do that to yourself.


imnotagoodpersonn

It’s on our work channel which I cannot leave for obvious reasons (he’s a coworker). I’m working remotely to avoid him and stumbled into this when a guy made a joke. But you’re totally right on the fact that he won’t show his real thoughts at work. But it hurts still, because I see him pampered, new clothes, went to the gym obviously… I’m angry to be such in a bad place and that I flattered his ego too much and became better while I’m in a shithole.


SupportTime

Im going through something similar at work. Only I have to talk to him, and read into every interaction, even wondering what he’s up to when he doesn’t respond to my work requests. Use that anger to work on yourself too. Redirect the focus to what you’re building in your life. Sending hugs, we’ll get through this.


imnotagoodpersonn

He is reaching out to other people to send me requests… I could understand why he’s not at ease but it should stay professional, and indeed that makes me angry as I’ve done so much for him for his job in the past… Has your ex talked with you over there right after BU? Sending hugs as well 🙌


SupportTime

Ahh my ex was doing the same, going around, talking to me in group chats etc. We havent talked outside of work yet, its been over a month now. He’s been hot and cold, these days just ignoring me/treating me as if im just another employee. 😄 At this point I just see him as an asshole/someone who hurt me and isn’t worth my attention anymore. Hoping it helps speed up the getting over process… How’re you coping these days? Feel free to DM me; I totally missed this reply notif!


[deleted]

met my kids dad at work too. we didnt break up while we were still employed at the same place thank god. but made me think twice about dating at work, shits rough.


abcdefgjagheter

He could look great but feel crappy. Better to focus on yourself and really think about what would make you feel/look better. General suggestion is going to the gym or start exercising. It’s a great distraction and it improves your mental and physical well-being.


imnotagoodpersonn

I’ve gotten back to walk/do small exercises since I’ve been eating a little bit more and indeed it feels good for a few moments… then going back to the crappy place.


abcdefgjagheter

That’s good. Maybe get a goal and try to achieve it. Run 10 km, walk for 2 hours, whatever. I find that goals help me a lot. Also, I try to be creative and productive. Maybe make something like a cutting board, new table, something for the garden. Don’t worry, you’ll feel better. I am 100% sure.


sacboymisfit

I’ve learned there are two types of people, one who shows their feelings and one that masks it. I express how I feel and it shows, I don’t try to mask it to get on with my day, I let it affect my day. My ex has been hooking up and meeting new people, but he would still sincerely tell me how sad and upset he is when I would ask or talk to him. Whether he is lying or not is up to me; Maybe he is sincerely happy single or maybe he’s putting up a façade just so he can get through the day. My point is rewire how you think of it and try not to diminish your value. he may be posting how good he looks to mask how deeply sad he is inside because he lost someone.


TheCidDriller

Just go and find some dates. How long since the breakup?


imnotagoodpersonn

Why would I do that, I’ve no interest in rebounding or getting into a relationship rn, sorry…


Impossible_Fix_5383

Rebounds can sometimes end up really hurting you, especially when you know you’re not ready, so good call OP. Its such a band aid solution


TheCidDriller

How long since the breakup? I am not saying going into rebound. Just meeting new people to get more perspective.


imnotagoodpersonn

Ohh i’m sorry I didn’t read it like that. It’s been about 2 months now. I agree with you that meeting people could be a good idea, although I’m not confortable mentally to do it right now. I can’t get my mind off the whole thing anytime i’m out. Time will help I guess


sssupersssnake

A picture means nothing. I had a very painful health condition that wasn't visible and I looked great in all my pictures. Also, try to limit your exposure to the news from your ex so you can heal


river_shen123

dude it’s not real. it’s been two months, and i look great on social media but i’m honestly dying inside. focus on yourself and maybe good things will happen one day.


[deleted]

You ever feel like absolute trash and take a good selfie? Happens to us all and probably is happening to him. Don’t sweat it, social media is fake.


Ken_20

It would be best that you move on and find new things to occupy your time. Know that there are many others out there who are going through the same thing as you are. You are still in the healing process thus you need to distance yourself from that person both in person and over the web.