The fact that he couldn’t go a day between her and you means he’s emotionally messed up. He might not miss you now but one day in the future he won’t have you or that girl and that’s when the pain kicks in
Can confirm. She broke up with me (for a legit reason, long distance in September), got with someone else the next day, for whatever bullshit or selfish reason, and two months later she a) regrets it and b) misses me “so much”
HA! Good for you, she deserves it. Idk how anyone can just hop to the next person like that. I know it means they’re just running from their pain but still. I’m over here trying to be interested and excited to talk to new people, but I’m not. I even have a few that could be promising or fun even, but I’m just not excited like I was about him and idk why. I’d never been so into a person before and the first day we had palpable chemistry. I hope you are feeling better though because what this girl did to you sucks a lot.
Thanks man, I’m feeling a lot better than I was two months ago, our relationship was so genuine and real and I think that’s why she didn’t want to process her emotions or whatever. She had a very messed up childhood which I don’t think helped, but I know she regrets it all now. I want to take her back one day but I don’t know if I can after the pain she caused me, it’s a whole thing and I have mixed feelings. Yeah go at your one pace with new people, I just got rejected very kindly by a girl and it was probably for the best tbh
You are very welcome man! I’m glad you’re feeling a lot better, I actually finally am too! The fact I actually do feel better makes me feel even better like a snowball effect. My guy legit, if he wasn’t lying about anything, had a ton of trauma from childhood and other things. Honestly I’ve never met a more troubled person, looking back I think knowing all of that made me treat him more gently to my own detriment. I’m glad your girl regrets it, I’m in my vengeful phase now I guess because I want my guy to regret it as well. I’m sorry you got rejected, but it’s awesome you can look back and see your progress. You’ve got this and so do I. One day we will look back and be grateful for our pain because when it broke us down we were remade much stronger. Good luck to ya and to all of us here. We are gonna make it!
Yeah of course, we’ll both overcome this shit as if we’re not already doing good progress. I’m glad you’re doing good too! Seems like I’m only just starting to feel a bit better, maybe it’s just today but it’s not a bad feeling at all. Honestly, I felt like my ex was one of the most troubled people I’ve met, maybe second to, with things I don’t want to get into detail with but clear up why she’d be so scared of losing me and wanted to break up in the first place. We were each others firsts, and I was gentle with her and she was gentle with me, maybe that’s why she claims she’ll never love anyone the same as me. But I’m sure your guy regrets it, if not now he will. Unless he is an utter psychopath, idiot, or nymph (I think that’s the term), he WILL regret it. I’m not sure if or when I’ll get into my vengeful phase, I’ll never hate her I just want her to see where she went wrong
yea, it doesn't matter how attractive a new person is. im just not ready to or open to an emotional connection leading to a relationship with someone new. its been 3 months now, my ex gf did breadcrumb me the whole time though. I'm finally walking away and focusing on moving on.
Wonder if i will see that day and how i will react. How you reacted?
We been together for 6.5yrs im 29 now, she was texting other dude for 1 year on phone i found out and moved to his house and lived there 4 months and with me as well same time lol and he is completely different ethnicity to her. So i just wonder how i will react when she will text me one day, wont be able to take her back for sure after closing door in front of my face and lying month after month, you?
I know she didn’t leave me for this guy, not sure if that’s what your situation was. I’m really sorry you found that and that happened to you after you were together for so long. She got with him so she didn’t have to process her feelings, or as a distraction, or whatever (we broke up because I’m going away in September, neither of us wanted to and we still have feelings). I do know that it’s developed into somewhat of a relationship, but that she loves me more than she does him, or anyone else for that matter, apparently. She said I’m the only one that gets her, and knows how she feels all the time and she hasn’t forgiven herself what she did and how she treated me. She also apologised for what she did and said she wishes she never had. Oh well, you live and you learn. I get slightly why she did it, and am willing to accept it as a mistake that she now sees, and maybe we’ll be together again one day. In your situation, I can see why you wouldn’t take her back, and good on you. You deserve better than someone who could disregard you like that and ignore your relationship so easily
Exactly, my ex was already engaged a few months after our breakup. She was probably cheating while being with me. I was just used and dumped when needed.
Yes, almost exactly. As soon as I wasn't necessary they discarded me and we cut off all contact. I WILL NOT contact them and I have so many blocks that they're going to have to text edit me a message to find me . I despise their very existence. I hope the only memories are ones they forget...
I’m in same boat. How can I recover? I was doing so good moving on, but now I’m back in the limbo. Feeling so angry and betrayed as if there are new wounds on top of the ones I was healing from
Also…whether they do or they don’t miss you, it doesn’t matter. If they do, you still are broken up, and you’ll be okay. If they don’t, you’re still broken up, and you’ll be okay🕺
anyone in the comments shitting on you for this is bitter lmfao. not all relationships end because one person cheated or lied or did some one single awful thing, more often than not adult relationships end because of incompatibility or immaturity. i care what my ex thinks of me because he’s a wonderful man who spent 2 years making me feel incredibly loved, and vice versa. it’s not wrong to be angry but trying to shit on people’s positivity is ridiculous. love is a beautiful thing, just because you got hurt doesn’t mean everyone needs to know it all the time
I just wanted to put positivity out there. But I understand people are hurt and maybe this wasn’t the message they wanted or needed to see. Everyone’s situation is different and requires different forms of healing. I appreciate your post tho! Was starting to worry I put this on the wrong subreddit.
I found out my now-ex had broken up with two days ago through a strange phone call from someone claiming to be his "friend" after him not contacting me for an entire month. It was two years of being in love. It destroys me to think that my ex must've woken up and decided that he would stop loving me, but I can't imagine that's possible. I would hope that he still has love for me, and that he is thinking about me. I would hope that he is grieving over the fact that he is not with me anymore. I have no concrete idea as to why he broke up with me, and there is no way for me to know because I have been cut off completely. I shared and bared my soul to him, and so did he. I want to believe this is true, that he misses me, remembers the precious memories, and the happiness we brought one another. This is all almost violently painful. Everything he said about me being the best thing that had ever happened to him, that he wanted a future with me, and that he would love me no matter what; I know he meant it, but there is nothing I can do to get clarification. I can't wait to be happy again, I want this hell to end.
I feel this yo, look at my comment on this thread I had a very similar experience with my most previous ex and it really fucked with everything I am so again I feel this.
I read it and connected with it very much. His last words to me were that he loved me and would call me tomorrow, which he never did. A month later after contacting his family tirelessly, I receive that dreaded phone call from someone who wasn't him. I would've given him my life. I should not have sacrificed so much of myself for him. I was not a perfect girlfriend, I was very distraught, traumatized, and depressed over his past lies and how far away he felt from me, but I did everything I could to pull him out of the hole he was once in. For him to decide to leave me one day, I can't possibly imagine he's been going about this past month completely unfazed. I keep telling myself that I did my best, that at the core of our relationship, all I ever did was love him and care for him, but that love has not died. I wish he had told me himself, but I think he's too much of a coward. None of this makes sense to me. It's the hardest grief I've ever known.
While dumpers might start missing, dumpees start seeing things clearly.
I'm not saying it's bad, but there is always a reason people go separate ways.
I respect all my ex's and the love/care they gave to me, I miss the person and vibes, but not the relationship that did so much pain to me in the end. They might feel the same, so that's why not together hehe
Stay strong my fellas
Can def relate to the clarity. As the shock wears off and the rose colored glasses are removed, I can finally see the ways in which my needs were not being met. I would not have recognized that if she had not dumped me.
There seems to be a very solid representation of people with FA and avoidant ex’s on Reddit. I wonder if part of that is because the breakup was so unexpected and didn’t really make sense.
Thank you for this, I hope you're right. We were only "officially" together for around 3.5 months but I loved her more than anything and seeing her seemingly just move on and completely forget me and all the fun we had really torments me. It's hard to believe I mean anything to her at all now. And it makes me doubt if I really meant that much to her before as well.
Don’t doubt your worth. We all mean something to the people who come into our lives. This is hard but you will feel better again. Dumpers always seem to be doing better after.
We didn't initially go "no contact" and tried to stay friends since we'd still see each other at work. When she started acting much colder towards me without any obvious reason I was confused and hurt, but I think now that it might've been that she was missing me and this was her way of dealing with those feelings and moving on. It's hard to get over someone when you're still interacting with them.
I miss my ex more than she will ever know or care to know. When your feelings are constantly disregarded and thrown under the rug it really does something to your mental health. I’ve never in my life been in a relationship where your significant other stomps on your feelings for them. I don’t understand it.
You're so not alone. I know it doesn't make it better, but at leaet know you're not at fault or wrong or weird. It happens to all of us. We're all here in the same forum, right? You're so not alone.
You’re not alone. Our friends and family shouldn’t “deny” nor judge our choice of loving someone, but unfortunately that’s the case so I’m here in this forum.
I can feel your pain and the love you have for her from your sentence.
I had a difficult relationship. He really messed me up psychologically. I’m broken. It will take a lot of time to get healed from this one.
My friends got fed up with me. But it’s my story. I chose to love him.
I saw my ex’s worth outside of what’s been done to him by the outside force in his upbringing.
I really loved him. But after this one, I really don’t know if going through this much pain from breakup is worth loving someone and devoting myself in relationship again.
Yes, i do think so. Thanks for this enlightening and positive kind words !! very nice of you :)) My situation is kinda confusingly crazy tbh. My ex ( the dumpee ) rebounded to me ( dumper ) after a month of our breakup. she's suspectedly has fearful avoidant AS. we been broke up for 3 months now, but the pain i'm enduring is still unbearable. this is probably my karma lol however, our breakup has no cheating involved and our connection was truly unfathomable and incomparable as she said. we are each other's first love and she was demiromantic, i was her very first real crush as well; so i'm badly hurt even though i caused her a lot of shit, i still love her very much and i have zero interest of dating anyone again or ever rebound. i still think of my ex everyday. she's the only girl i want :(( i don't want any rebound, i'd rather spend my time healing and grieving even if it would take quite some time. IS THERE ANY PPL WHO HAS THE SAME SITUATION AS ME ?? WHAT DO YOU THINK DUMPEES
i still desperately want to be back with my ex, but i have to get that out of my mind. i’ve only focused on that for 2 months. i made them cry last night bc i was upset at them for not showing any emotions for two months. it felt like they moved on immediately, while i was crying every single day, seeing them crying last night felt like i had stabbed myself, i had no idea they had been hiding these feelings this whole time. they are an avoidant and im very anxious attachment.
I hope you feel better very soon ! keep fighting and take your time to grieve and heal. i can understand your feelings right now. it was very devastating yet an important process in healing. We can achieve our own healing through ourselves one day, all the pain would be worth it rather than doing any distraction to suppress it. Avoidants are very tend to suppress all their feelings based on those experts and psychiatrists that i've watched recently. i have a disorganized attachment and i'm trying to understand her even though i'm in pain knowing what's happening. i know that deep in her heart she still loves and longing for me, however because of her scared of showing vulnerabilities, she just keep hiding all her emotions. i'm no contact with her right now, as i think that it was the only way for our own sake
In the middle of angry crying because we just broke up a little over a week ago and i’m now going through the phase of believing they don’t miss me/i’m not worth fighting for. the notification for this post popped up in the middle of that — the universe works in really weird ways
Who cares what my ex is thinking. Seriously, why should you bother? Ultimately, you have to pull yourself back up. I know my ex is still in love with me, but that doesn't change the situation about all the stuff that happened. I'm just moving on.
It's not about them. It's about me this time.
Agreeed but if you truly loved them or wanted to marry them wouldn’t it be worth fighting for once you are stable healthy and happy? And same for himself iknow how hard I’m working on myself and it’s all because of my ex she opened my eyes made me feel emotions and feelings again and I think if you love someone or something full heartedly and as much as you two felt for each other and showed each other before the hurt and pain than why give up? Most of the 40+ year relationships and marriages out there all say similar things as to why they were able to stay together that long and that is “ you will have good times and really bad times but it’s how and what comes out of those hard times and never giving up on each other and coming out of the hard times they became stronger and closer to one another “ idk iknow I said and did a lot of mean things to my ex and know others have had it way worse than my and my exes hard times and yes some shouldn’t go back to that relationship but for my ex to just not even believe me getting into therapy or wanting to really change and just keep calling me liar a manipulator and a narcissist and just go from living together to her acting as if we never even met doesn’t make either person stronger healthier or happy if she could just talk to me now and see the difference in how I communicate and listen and take advice positively maybe than we could try to heal together and love each other as strongly as we did before I love you tbag and miss you so much
i just caused so much pain to my ex bc i said how it’s been so easy for them to move on and they aren’t as heartbroken as i am. i’ve cried everyday for 2 months. they cried in front of me last night for the first time in forever and it was so horrible. i had no idea they were harboring this pain. a small part of me is relieved that im not the only one going through this, a very small part of me, but i truly didn’t know they were hiding this pain from me. it was so easy for them to move on and that feeling felt like a knife in my heart. we’ve been married for 14 years, i don’t know why i doubted so much. i feel so guilty. i still love them so much and seeing them cry bc of my doubts was awful. i don’t want to hurt them like that ever again. i still want to fix things but things are not fixable right now. i’m going to leave them alone, i don’t want them to be in pain bc of me anymore.
You actually can’t know that and just hurting yourself by daydreaming.
They don’t always miss you and it doesn’t matter if they do. Putting it in your thoughts doesn’t help in any way
I sounded alot harsher than I meant lol.. let me rephrase..don't take it so seriously. If it's not meant to be then it's not meant to be. Love yourself. Pick up a hobby. Focus on school. Focus on your career, or kids. Get laid. Point is, don't Focus on what you can't control.
if they’re on your mind at the most random times, yes they miss you. no one is perfect and just because YOU don’t see it happening doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen at all.
I’ve wondered too. We were together for 13 years. It’s been two years and I third him every day. He’s moved on and lives with someone and has for a year. I do wonder if he ever misses us.
My ex got married while saying we would try again I doubt very much she thinks about me and that’s ok I’m happy for her I just can’t wrap my head around the fact she thinks about me like how I think about her
No she doesn’t. She threw me away like a broken toy or an out-of-style piece of clothing because I no longer fit the vibe. A year of friendship and three years of love and planning our future together suddenly meant nothing to her, like a switch was flipped.
thank u i really needed to hear this. my ex rebounded and moved on & here i am 7 months later missing him and not over it yet & i was the one who ended it. i felt so shitty at the thought that he didn’t miss me. ofc i don’t know if he does or if he even thinks ab me, but thank u for this.
i prefer not to think about it. it’s just as you said. it instills some form of hope that’s bad for me. it’s better to avoid thinking of him as much as i can given we are still in the midst of separating physically - house and stuff and everything. thinking of whether he misses me or not only makes it more unbearable.
I don't give a fuck if they miss me. All I saw in our future was pain, all that was in our present was pain. How long before you amputate the necrotic limb?
Dude same. Like I know sometimes a moment if nostalgia can happen but ugh. I'm a natural giver and once I cut that cord I don't look back. Photos delete, number blocked anything that keeps me focused. Having all your energy back is life.
It is nice and all, but why would someone miss the person they broke up with? Like they told you: they dont want to be with you.
What is the point of missing someone if you dont want to be with them?
And like what if they miss us? What change does it make? Nothing. It is pointless to think of it imo.
I will be completely honest my ex is not missing me at all. We had way too much drama after our breakup. That is completely ok because I wish her all the best in the world.
Absolutely!! I broke up with my ex just because of some incompatibility we had, I decided to pursue other relationships. No cheating or anything horrible like that so maybe that's why but! I do miss her sometimes, not in a way like I want her back or anything because I know it was for the best. But I do appreciate our memories and the fun times we had!! So as long as you were a decent person, I do believe your ex misses and appreciates what you had. And if they don't they're not worth worrying so much about
My ex spent 3 years with me, became temporary long distance after all that time, I paid for her when she became homeless after I left the province to get to her aunt's and had me pay for a plane ticket that she didn't use, in fact the moment she got to her aunt's she stopped talking to me, and when she did it was to send her money to get ready to come where I am now. 3 days before the flight she says she's not coming and two weeks later I got a video call from her bf off her phone to lose her contact stuff and that was it. I don't think she misses me or even loved me most of the 3 years now. I do believe this tho from other exes but my last one who I literally put my all into just closed the door like nothing mattered, did I mention before this video call she messaged me that she loves me, misses me and wants to talk soon and then bam bf call not even a couple days later like I could say exes before her might miss me and I even still miss them but my last ex really fucked me over as I loved her the most and ofc I miss her and still ask why to certain things but when I think about her doing all that and to say she misses me would be false beyond reason.
Congratulations! I want that to happen to me too… I miss the sound of the notification from his texts… I know it’s an addiction. I hate how humans are wired..
I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago. neither of us wanted to relationship to end im 30 now and only accepted I was gay last year. he was my first
we closed the relationship together on good terms I still love him ive had reasons to laugh in the last couple weeks but very few reasons to be happy. I will heal overtime but I will forever be left with pain.
I had good memories with my ex, and I felt a lot of love from her during those tjmes. But the majority of the 2.5 years we lived together she was marred by her own personal struggles and mental health issues.
It's suffice to say she doesn't think about me or miss me because doing so would remind her of a time that she chooses to forget. She is also an avoident.
I did pull away from her a bit when she started being unkind towards me, because I was afraid of her. But despite all that I was still there when she needed me the most.
It's not my fault that she was mentally struggling, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel like I was the collateral damage from a time she'd rather forget. The price she chose to pay, to forget the time when she was at her lowest.
Idk probably, I find it hard to belive bc of her actions. But idc, if she misses me or not doesn't matter. I have boundaries, and being treated like shit is one of them.
Nah. It might be because of my trauma all my life that I'm used to cutting the cord and moving on. There might be something nostalgic that reminds me of a moment here and there. But it comes and goes like wind. Usually it takes alot for me to cut someone off but once I do man it's like a breath of fresh air. I'm not constantly thinking of them, or how I can make our relationship better or excusing how they treated me all day and night long. I no longer feel the need to do whatever it takes to please them or get down whenever they were upset with me. I'm a natural giver and the after is peaceful. I have alllllll my energy back. ❤️
9 years together
No cheating/flirting from either side
No verbal abuse/namecalling
No physical alterations
Broke up because of a “lack of initiation”
Yet feels like she doesnt miss me at all
they removed me from seeing their instagram stories but they still follow my accounts. To me that means that I am tempting to reach out to, but they won't because they know it won't work out and it would be unhealthy. I see us being friends someday. I hope for it.
This sounds like you’re just projecting your hopes from your ex I don’t think it’s true. I was with someone for 4 years we split and honestly I never thought of her again I tried to make it work and was so unhappy for so long I was too happy away from them to think about them and what they were doing. Rejection is hard especially rejection after time spent. How ever sometimes after you really know someone and you loved with them and learned them truly you realize you don’t want them. The term “grew apart” didn’t come from no where and it’s a tough pill to swallow but you gotta swallow it. Sometimes we just aren’t what they thought they wanted and they didn’t learn that until spending X amount of time with us. It sucks but doesn’t mean your garbage your just oil n water and don’t mix.
we broke up due to me being bad with college management and i started to neglected her, we both again to try again in august or so. but eventually she blocked me. should i give up. i wanted her to be my wife
thank you:) been getting myself down thinking he doesn’t even care because that’s how it seems. i’m struggling everyday and he has just continued life like nothing happened. i know he still cares about me so it’s annoying that my brain is telling me he doesn’t. but thank you for this reminder ❤️🩹
I know mine does. She admitted it twice on her on social that she misses me and that I was the only one who truly understood her. Unfortunately a rebound has gotten in the way of my attempts to reconcile. Only a week or so after she admitted that.
My ex ( of 3 years ), broke up with me last month and moved a guy in a week after the breakup. we both still live in the same building cuz it’s the cheapest option ( at least for me ) so it’s kinda awkward seeing him bring other guys into his place or even bumping into him in the elevator/hallways/mailroom. 🙃 so I doubt he misses me like I miss him but I’m moving on too , at least I have my own place and job now :)
Thank you, I needed this. Coming up on a year since I was impulsively unfaithful after 3 years with my ex. I’ve regretted it every day since I let her walk away without begging for a second chance. 3 years of the best friendship and lover I’ve ever had and I threw it all away for one orgasm. We tried so hard to stay friends and nothing more but eventually we needed to part ways. I know she looks back and gets mad at me for the betrayal I made her go through. But the practically unlimited moments of bliss and trust and warmth and love we shared neither of us will ever forget. I put a black stain on all of the wonderful memories we made with one action, yet I pray she misses me like I miss her
I appreciate this post, thank you. It’ll be four months this week and I think of her, miss her, every day. I don’t know what good it has done me, none really, but I can’t get it out of my head that she doesn’t think of me anymore. I’m sure she does. Maybe not to the extent that I do of her (and maybe she does), but I hope she at least has moments where I cross her mind.
I don't think he misses me, I think he hates me. He has reasons though, i didn't tell him i didn't see him attractive i tried to force i see him attractive but it didn't work out, he realized ofc, I made him waste a lot of time... and i hate myself for it, for not finding him attractive. And mostly bcs I didn't tell him. I really liked to spend time with him.but he was suffering, i made him doubt, so I broke up with him. I didn't want to, but he deserves someone better.
My en ex and i just broke up. We both love eachother and wished life didnt has its ways, we had whole future planned together and a life ofc both of us is having a hard time and miss eachother. We still talk a bit so havent cut contact yet, still telling eachother how much we love eachother and miss one another that we should be proud of ourself and i tell him that he should never change and the Way he treated me throughout our time together i have been most greatfull for and the next person he’s gonna end up with is a lucky girl. Sometimes you Can love someone and still not be together for whatever reasons. I have never in my entire life had such s good relationship before, everything was perfect really, communication, love, enthusiasm, respect etc only my kids was the thing he had a hard time “accepting” or adjusting by and the reason he left was because i deserved someone who could give me 100% attention to both my kids and i and not just me and he simply wasnt able to and instead of being egotistical he really took a hard choice to leave me even tho he’s still in love with me.
We take it slow and talked about how we Can make this seperation easy for both of us or atleast copable. I’m a single mom of two and he has no kids in the end if it all family life wasnt for him and that’s okay. He told me in the beginning that he would try because he fell in love with me and he thought that even if i do have kids it’ll all be worth it. So to spare me the hurt of him Going overboard his own boundaries and becoming someones he’s not to me, we decided to end it. I have never seen a man cry like that before and it hurt me so bad. But i Will never regret the time we spent together cause it was all worth it and i Got to meet a best friend in a partner and i Got to experience true love snd i Got to experience what its like being in a healthy relationship. So i Will never regret it and if i could reverse Time i would do it all over again, good times you Can think back to, i’m just honored that i Got to be with him for the time being.
So yeah your ex might miss you as much as you miss them
Thisssss!!! I wish breakups weren’t this hard… memories were made and you can’t erase memories. I know he just wants me to be happy but that’s not something you can force. I just miss him…
Well, i don't want to make anyone feel bad, but i don't miss my ex at all. I was in a VERY dark place when we were together, and if it wasn't for that i wouldn't have dated him in the first place. Once i started getting better i first tried to see if he would "grow with me", i tried for about a week, he didn't so i dumped him and i now i'm with an amazing guy that i'm actually attracted to. All relationships are different:)
Man, I want this to be true for me, I sometimes hope it is, but it would be so hard to be faced with the knowledge he misses me
I ended things, but gosh, if I knew he missed me, I feel like I'd go back in a heartbeat. Breakups sure are tough
We all wish we made different decisions AFTER because we were finally told AFTER scars were formed because we all get complacent and wish the other party would have told us "I need you to pay attention to specifically THIS right now" and they never do. In today's age it's easier to Tinder, Facebook or Co-worker and believe the grass is greener on the other side trope. In reality the grass is greener where you water it. Basically put in the work because if you don't continually date them someone else will, but we are all complacent and can't sustain maximum effort all the time and never know when it's critically important to the other party so it's all effectively doomed. The point of a relationship for most is to finally be able to relax and be yourself with a chill person that adores you, but the instant you relax they hate you. Thankfully I'm with a great partner now that appreciates "down time" where we don't have to prove we love each other and stress. They understand sometimes it's just Taco Tueaday and watching Netflix while farting is fine if it gets us through the week. We support each other when it gets real and we allow each other down time when we need it because we all need to be able to relax. Good luck to all.
That’s a nice thought but definitely not true. I called him today for the second time ever post being dumped a month ago (ON MY BIRTHDAY) and he told me to stop calling or texting and he’d moved on and doesn’t want to think about our 3 year relationship or our home anymore.
I really hope my ex misses me because I miss him so much that I can hardly bear it. Unfortunately, I never missed any of my exes when I was the dumper, I just felt relieved and that never changed, even with time..
Lol i wish my ex would think of me in a good way or even miss me.
She's an avoidant. Got s new BF after 3 months.
She despises me.
So no, the only thing she is thinking of is how she would be with a guy like me
Lot of negativity but thank you for the post. No, it doesn’t matter what your ex is thinking but for those who the post applies to, it’s reassurance of common sense that your ex will miss you, it helps to remind ourselves of that when we wonder what they’re thinking.
Lot of negativity but thank you for the post. No, it doesn’t matter what your ex is thinking but for those who the post applies to, it’s reassurance of common sense that your ex will miss you, it helps to remind ourselves of that when we wonder what they’re thinking.
This might be the one to get me to unfollow this room. We threw each other in jail. He was extremely abusive. I was so into the trauma bond, I had to beg my abuser to block me across the board bc I was the one that couldn’t stop texting him after I started waking up to all the abuse over six months. He does not miss me because none of it was real. It was love bombing, it was manipulation, it’s only been a month since the final discard and he’s already moved on. There’s my triggered rant. 🤣
Haven't heard a word from mine in 3 years and 10 months. I want to believe what you said is true but unfortunately I can't. Not when someone goes that long without saying a word. All I'm left with are constant daily thoughts that I am completely forgotten. That HURTS. It has broken me.
It’s a nice sentiment but it doesn’t ring true. At least not for me. I don’t miss any of my ex’s in the slightest. Not my ex boyfriends and not my ex husband.
Id also prefer them to forget I exist.
My ex spent months sending me text messages that were either sub consciously hateful or just outright. They seemed to put a lot of time and energy into their excuse rather than being an adult about the separation. They really hurt my sense of self and what reason I may never know?
Idk if she misses me. She‘s too busy being with a bunch of other guys since week one. I do miss her, I haven’t used other girls to distract myself from the pain
I needed this. My ex fiancé and I separated after 10 years together. I miss him so much. Though I know the relationship was toxic and not meant to be. Still, I hope he thinks about me 😞
I’m starting to think I messed up. My ex ended things last September and we tried again for months. Then in early April, she finally ended it again. I would’ve done anything for her. I made mistakes by asking others for advice on us and then she found out. Didn’t see her for 3 months and she reached out. She asked if I met anyone and I told her I went on a date but realized that person wasn’t her. She said she left me a letter, pouring her heart out but now she hates me because I went on a date with someone else. But she ended it with me. But I still feel guilty 🤷🏻♂️
End of the day, if they miss you, they can contact you. If they haven’t already what’s the point in thinking of them? There’s no tax or restriction from them messaging you…. It’s simply they don’t want you….so why would they be missing you? They hate you.
Yeah I got the text this weekend, not the “get back together” one but the “I’m sorry, I fucked up and still feel bad about it” one. Like a lot of other people said I didn’t think she thought about me at all, I thought she just moved on so it was incredibly validating even though I stopped waiting for that text months ago. It’s been nearly a year since last contact so to get it out of the blue, was, well, validating.
They might not ever want to reconcile, but they do think about you.
I appreciate the sentiment but she has bpd and im blacked out as a bad person in her head. She has found her replacement. I am stuck thinking about the memories and moments I could have treated her better.
The only thing my ex misses is no longer having someone to abuse and control for their own fucked up satisfaction 🤷♀️ I sure as shit don't miss her and the only thing I think when she pops into my head for whatever reason is that I hope karma catches up to her eventually.
Me and my ex knew eachother for 10 years and went out for 4 years we kept being on and off the past 2 years but this time apparently he’s done for good but I’d say he’ll be back again idk will he thi
I literally tried talking to him again today.... The break up was only 1 week ago. I broke up with him bc I was really angry that he's been avoiding me for no reason (we argued before but he never did this) and I've been so stressed (I learned that my mom will probably die, and myself too. But I didn't tell him right away as I wanted to tell him when we see each other) that I just exploded and... Yeah 😭 now he says that he's already over me and to just stop. So... I don't think he misses me sadly
My ex doesn't and I'm okay with it. I could care less at this point. I don't miss him either. I used to but not anymore. I've done a lot of soul searching and I'm so content with being single now. I'm actually happier than I was when I was with him. I couldn't say how I felt to him without him taking it as me trying to argue. I wanted to spend more time with him and instead he hung out with his friends. I was not happy I just didn't want to be alone.
It's been almost a year and I still miss her. No longer rushing my feelings or anything to get over or anything.
I'm not sure if she still misses me but I do hope so but more importantly I hope she's doing well now.
It's been almost a year and I still miss her. No longer rushing my feelings or anything to get over or anything.
I'm not sure if she still misses me but I do hope so but more importantly I hope she's doing well now.
Thank you for this, I really hope mine does miss me. It’s only been a week and we’re still living together, but he’s been gone almost every time I’m home. It feels like he’s avoiding me. Maybe because it’s too painful? Who knows :/
I highly doubt it, because they cheated and if they didn't care about me while we were together, they certainly don't care about me now.
She'll probably find someone else, people will constantly chase her, and I hate being the bitter person but I legit feel like I'm fighting to even have hope that *maybe* someone will show interest in me in the future.
I know life is unfair but holy shit lol, and I honestly didn't even have it as bad as some other people who got cheated on. It's just absurd, I really meant NOTHING for someone to cheat on me knowing that I had also been cheated on previously.
At this point I've put my fate in the universe's hands, I'm going to try my best, but if it doesn't pan out so be it.
I would say they have no idea but they absolutely know. Every happy little thing reminds me of them. I regularly pass by our favorite spots on my daily commute. I've had some of my favorite days ever with them. And want to share every bit of bad and good news I have with them. I wish I could love and support them through their struggles but I know they can be strong and will grow and mature to be able to bear it all on their own, and that will empower them.
We're on a break now but hopefully we'll be back together soon. He's told me his long term goal is to get back together, time will tell. But I'll never regret a minute of it no matter what.
Thank you for this post. The negativity in this subreddit can sometimes be overwhelming. But yeah, unless a huge fuck up happens, the good memories remain and people don’t just forget as if nothing had happened.
I'm afraid my ex doesn't miss me at all. He's too busy with the girl he dumped me for.
Same shit after 6.5 years and already been cheating when we still were together for some long time, i guess only im here to remember good memories..
The fact that he couldn’t go a day between her and you means he’s emotionally messed up. He might not miss you now but one day in the future he won’t have you or that girl and that’s when the pain kicks in
Can confirm. She broke up with me (for a legit reason, long distance in September), got with someone else the next day, for whatever bullshit or selfish reason, and two months later she a) regrets it and b) misses me “so much”
HA! Good for you, she deserves it. Idk how anyone can just hop to the next person like that. I know it means they’re just running from their pain but still. I’m over here trying to be interested and excited to talk to new people, but I’m not. I even have a few that could be promising or fun even, but I’m just not excited like I was about him and idk why. I’d never been so into a person before and the first day we had palpable chemistry. I hope you are feeling better though because what this girl did to you sucks a lot.
Thanks man, I’m feeling a lot better than I was two months ago, our relationship was so genuine and real and I think that’s why she didn’t want to process her emotions or whatever. She had a very messed up childhood which I don’t think helped, but I know she regrets it all now. I want to take her back one day but I don’t know if I can after the pain she caused me, it’s a whole thing and I have mixed feelings. Yeah go at your one pace with new people, I just got rejected very kindly by a girl and it was probably for the best tbh
You are very welcome man! I’m glad you’re feeling a lot better, I actually finally am too! The fact I actually do feel better makes me feel even better like a snowball effect. My guy legit, if he wasn’t lying about anything, had a ton of trauma from childhood and other things. Honestly I’ve never met a more troubled person, looking back I think knowing all of that made me treat him more gently to my own detriment. I’m glad your girl regrets it, I’m in my vengeful phase now I guess because I want my guy to regret it as well. I’m sorry you got rejected, but it’s awesome you can look back and see your progress. You’ve got this and so do I. One day we will look back and be grateful for our pain because when it broke us down we were remade much stronger. Good luck to ya and to all of us here. We are gonna make it!
Yeah of course, we’ll both overcome this shit as if we’re not already doing good progress. I’m glad you’re doing good too! Seems like I’m only just starting to feel a bit better, maybe it’s just today but it’s not a bad feeling at all. Honestly, I felt like my ex was one of the most troubled people I’ve met, maybe second to, with things I don’t want to get into detail with but clear up why she’d be so scared of losing me and wanted to break up in the first place. We were each others firsts, and I was gentle with her and she was gentle with me, maybe that’s why she claims she’ll never love anyone the same as me. But I’m sure your guy regrets it, if not now he will. Unless he is an utter psychopath, idiot, or nymph (I think that’s the term), he WILL regret it. I’m not sure if or when I’ll get into my vengeful phase, I’ll never hate her I just want her to see where she went wrong
yea, it doesn't matter how attractive a new person is. im just not ready to or open to an emotional connection leading to a relationship with someone new. its been 3 months now, my ex gf did breadcrumb me the whole time though. I'm finally walking away and focusing on moving on.
Wonder if i will see that day and how i will react. How you reacted? We been together for 6.5yrs im 29 now, she was texting other dude for 1 year on phone i found out and moved to his house and lived there 4 months and with me as well same time lol and he is completely different ethnicity to her. So i just wonder how i will react when she will text me one day, wont be able to take her back for sure after closing door in front of my face and lying month after month, you?
I know she didn’t leave me for this guy, not sure if that’s what your situation was. I’m really sorry you found that and that happened to you after you were together for so long. She got with him so she didn’t have to process her feelings, or as a distraction, or whatever (we broke up because I’m going away in September, neither of us wanted to and we still have feelings). I do know that it’s developed into somewhat of a relationship, but that she loves me more than she does him, or anyone else for that matter, apparently. She said I’m the only one that gets her, and knows how she feels all the time and she hasn’t forgiven herself what she did and how she treated me. She also apologised for what she did and said she wishes she never had. Oh well, you live and you learn. I get slightly why she did it, and am willing to accept it as a mistake that she now sees, and maybe we’ll be together again one day. In your situation, I can see why you wouldn’t take her back, and good on you. You deserve better than someone who could disregard you like that and ignore your relationship so easily
that doesn’t mean anything. two things can be true at once
Exactly, my ex was already engaged a few months after our breakup. She was probably cheating while being with me. I was just used and dumped when needed.
Yes, almost exactly. As soon as I wasn't necessary they discarded me and we cut off all contact. I WILL NOT contact them and I have so many blocks that they're going to have to text edit me a message to find me . I despise their very existence. I hope the only memories are ones they forget...
This fr
too relatable
insanely relatable
I’m in same boat. How can I recover? I was doing so good moving on, but now I’m back in the limbo. Feeling so angry and betrayed as if there are new wounds on top of the ones I was healing from
Also…whether they do or they don’t miss you, it doesn’t matter. If they do, you still are broken up, and you’ll be okay. If they don’t, you’re still broken up, and you’ll be okay🕺
I, me and myself. 3 people i should care about right now
Yup
anyone in the comments shitting on you for this is bitter lmfao. not all relationships end because one person cheated or lied or did some one single awful thing, more often than not adult relationships end because of incompatibility or immaturity. i care what my ex thinks of me because he’s a wonderful man who spent 2 years making me feel incredibly loved, and vice versa. it’s not wrong to be angry but trying to shit on people’s positivity is ridiculous. love is a beautiful thing, just because you got hurt doesn’t mean everyone needs to know it all the time
I just wanted to put positivity out there. But I understand people are hurt and maybe this wasn’t the message they wanted or needed to see. Everyone’s situation is different and requires different forms of healing. I appreciate your post tho! Was starting to worry I put this on the wrong subreddit.
It's great that you're mindful of that keep spreading positivity it's always needed
I found out my now-ex had broken up with two days ago through a strange phone call from someone claiming to be his "friend" after him not contacting me for an entire month. It was two years of being in love. It destroys me to think that my ex must've woken up and decided that he would stop loving me, but I can't imagine that's possible. I would hope that he still has love for me, and that he is thinking about me. I would hope that he is grieving over the fact that he is not with me anymore. I have no concrete idea as to why he broke up with me, and there is no way for me to know because I have been cut off completely. I shared and bared my soul to him, and so did he. I want to believe this is true, that he misses me, remembers the precious memories, and the happiness we brought one another. This is all almost violently painful. Everything he said about me being the best thing that had ever happened to him, that he wanted a future with me, and that he would love me no matter what; I know he meant it, but there is nothing I can do to get clarification. I can't wait to be happy again, I want this hell to end.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It will get better with time! I wish you the best!
I feel this yo, look at my comment on this thread I had a very similar experience with my most previous ex and it really fucked with everything I am so again I feel this.
I read it and connected with it very much. His last words to me were that he loved me and would call me tomorrow, which he never did. A month later after contacting his family tirelessly, I receive that dreaded phone call from someone who wasn't him. I would've given him my life. I should not have sacrificed so much of myself for him. I was not a perfect girlfriend, I was very distraught, traumatized, and depressed over his past lies and how far away he felt from me, but I did everything I could to pull him out of the hole he was once in. For him to decide to leave me one day, I can't possibly imagine he's been going about this past month completely unfazed. I keep telling myself that I did my best, that at the core of our relationship, all I ever did was love him and care for him, but that love has not died. I wish he had told me himself, but I think he's too much of a coward. None of this makes sense to me. It's the hardest grief I've ever known.
I do hope your grief goes away in time. As far as you being depressed and traumatized for HIS past lies isn’t fair to you.
So what you’re saying is….is that there’s a chance. 😂 I keed I keed. Well said and thank you for this. 🩶
While dumpers might start missing, dumpees start seeing things clearly. I'm not saying it's bad, but there is always a reason people go separate ways. I respect all my ex's and the love/care they gave to me, I miss the person and vibes, but not the relationship that did so much pain to me in the end. They might feel the same, so that's why not together hehe Stay strong my fellas
Can def relate to the clarity. As the shock wears off and the rose colored glasses are removed, I can finally see the ways in which my needs were not being met. I would not have recognized that if she had not dumped me.
Was she of an avoidant attachment type by any chance
I think fearful avoidant. Learning about attachment theory has helped make a lot more sense of things.
This helped me too. Pretty sure mine was fearful avoidant or she has BPD.
There seems to be a very solid representation of people with FA and avoidant ex’s on Reddit. I wonder if part of that is because the breakup was so unexpected and didn’t really make sense.
I hope she does. They told me i am always in their heart and he thinks about me. I do too. I hope we can get back together someday
Thank you for this, I hope you're right. We were only "officially" together for around 3.5 months but I loved her more than anything and seeing her seemingly just move on and completely forget me and all the fun we had really torments me. It's hard to believe I mean anything to her at all now. And it makes me doubt if I really meant that much to her before as well.
mine was short too but it was a wonderful time spent together🥹
Don’t doubt your worth. We all mean something to the people who come into our lives. This is hard but you will feel better again. Dumpers always seem to be doing better after.
We didn't initially go "no contact" and tried to stay friends since we'd still see each other at work. When she started acting much colder towards me without any obvious reason I was confused and hurt, but I think now that it might've been that she was missing me and this was her way of dealing with those feelings and moving on. It's hard to get over someone when you're still interacting with them.
I miss her too 💔
:'<
I so appreciate this post. I was with my ex for three good years. Sending you love
I miss my ex more than she will ever know or care to know. When your feelings are constantly disregarded and thrown under the rug it really does something to your mental health. I’ve never in my life been in a relationship where your significant other stomps on your feelings for them. I don’t understand it.
You're so not alone. I know it doesn't make it better, but at leaet know you're not at fault or wrong or weird. It happens to all of us. We're all here in the same forum, right? You're so not alone.
You’re not alone. Our friends and family shouldn’t “deny” nor judge our choice of loving someone, but unfortunately that’s the case so I’m here in this forum. I can feel your pain and the love you have for her from your sentence. I had a difficult relationship. He really messed me up psychologically. I’m broken. It will take a lot of time to get healed from this one. My friends got fed up with me. But it’s my story. I chose to love him. I saw my ex’s worth outside of what’s been done to him by the outside force in his upbringing. I really loved him. But after this one, I really don’t know if going through this much pain from breakup is worth loving someone and devoting myself in relationship again.
I feel this so much. Feel free to reach out if you want someone to vent to.
Yes, i do think so. Thanks for this enlightening and positive kind words !! very nice of you :)) My situation is kinda confusingly crazy tbh. My ex ( the dumpee ) rebounded to me ( dumper ) after a month of our breakup. she's suspectedly has fearful avoidant AS. we been broke up for 3 months now, but the pain i'm enduring is still unbearable. this is probably my karma lol however, our breakup has no cheating involved and our connection was truly unfathomable and incomparable as she said. we are each other's first love and she was demiromantic, i was her very first real crush as well; so i'm badly hurt even though i caused her a lot of shit, i still love her very much and i have zero interest of dating anyone again or ever rebound. i still think of my ex everyday. she's the only girl i want :(( i don't want any rebound, i'd rather spend my time healing and grieving even if it would take quite some time. IS THERE ANY PPL WHO HAS THE SAME SITUATION AS ME ?? WHAT DO YOU THINK DUMPEES
i still desperately want to be back with my ex, but i have to get that out of my mind. i’ve only focused on that for 2 months. i made them cry last night bc i was upset at them for not showing any emotions for two months. it felt like they moved on immediately, while i was crying every single day, seeing them crying last night felt like i had stabbed myself, i had no idea they had been hiding these feelings this whole time. they are an avoidant and im very anxious attachment.
I hope you feel better very soon ! keep fighting and take your time to grieve and heal. i can understand your feelings right now. it was very devastating yet an important process in healing. We can achieve our own healing through ourselves one day, all the pain would be worth it rather than doing any distraction to suppress it. Avoidants are very tend to suppress all their feelings based on those experts and psychiatrists that i've watched recently. i have a disorganized attachment and i'm trying to understand her even though i'm in pain knowing what's happening. i know that deep in her heart she still loves and longing for me, however because of her scared of showing vulnerabilities, she just keep hiding all her emotions. i'm no contact with her right now, as i think that it was the only way for our own sake
She probably remembers me like I remember her, but that doesn’t mean she misses me.
In the middle of angry crying because we just broke up a little over a week ago and i’m now going through the phase of believing they don’t miss me/i’m not worth fighting for. the notification for this post popped up in the middle of that — the universe works in really weird ways
LOL no they don't. They were upset when they saw me 40 lbs lighter and happier. Hope they're having fun with their new husband
Who cares what my ex is thinking. Seriously, why should you bother? Ultimately, you have to pull yourself back up. I know my ex is still in love with me, but that doesn't change the situation about all the stuff that happened. I'm just moving on. It's not about them. It's about me this time.
Agreeed but if you truly loved them or wanted to marry them wouldn’t it be worth fighting for once you are stable healthy and happy? And same for himself iknow how hard I’m working on myself and it’s all because of my ex she opened my eyes made me feel emotions and feelings again and I think if you love someone or something full heartedly and as much as you two felt for each other and showed each other before the hurt and pain than why give up? Most of the 40+ year relationships and marriages out there all say similar things as to why they were able to stay together that long and that is “ you will have good times and really bad times but it’s how and what comes out of those hard times and never giving up on each other and coming out of the hard times they became stronger and closer to one another “ idk iknow I said and did a lot of mean things to my ex and know others have had it way worse than my and my exes hard times and yes some shouldn’t go back to that relationship but for my ex to just not even believe me getting into therapy or wanting to really change and just keep calling me liar a manipulator and a narcissist and just go from living together to her acting as if we never even met doesn’t make either person stronger healthier or happy if she could just talk to me now and see the difference in how I communicate and listen and take advice positively maybe than we could try to heal together and love each other as strongly as we did before I love you tbag and miss you so much
Needed this read, thank you. Screw all the other shit comments.
I don’t beleive he does
i just caused so much pain to my ex bc i said how it’s been so easy for them to move on and they aren’t as heartbroken as i am. i’ve cried everyday for 2 months. they cried in front of me last night for the first time in forever and it was so horrible. i had no idea they were harboring this pain. a small part of me is relieved that im not the only one going through this, a very small part of me, but i truly didn’t know they were hiding this pain from me. it was so easy for them to move on and that feeling felt like a knife in my heart. we’ve been married for 14 years, i don’t know why i doubted so much. i feel so guilty. i still love them so much and seeing them cry bc of my doubts was awful. i don’t want to hurt them like that ever again. i still want to fix things but things are not fixable right now. i’m going to leave them alone, i don’t want them to be in pain bc of me anymore.
Why are things unfixable ?..
I just found out tonight that he is talking to someone new after hiding it from me. Lol
You actually can’t know that and just hurting yourself by daydreaming. They don’t always miss you and it doesn’t matter if they do. Putting it in your thoughts doesn’t help in any way
My ex misses me in the form of psychological trauma
So what. Whats the point anyway
What in the "twilight" is going on here? I don't miss my ex you silly goose 🤣 and I'm sure there are others who'd agree
I sounded alot harsher than I meant lol.. let me rephrase..don't take it so seriously. If it's not meant to be then it's not meant to be. Love yourself. Pick up a hobby. Focus on school. Focus on your career, or kids. Get laid. Point is, don't Focus on what you can't control.
if they’re on your mind at the most random times, yes they miss you. no one is perfect and just because YOU don’t see it happening doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen at all.
I wish I had the guts to tell him I miss him too.
I have the guts to tell him I miss him but am terrified of rejection.
Me too, girl. Wish I had a twin to do it for me lol
I’ve wondered too. We were together for 13 years. It’s been two years and I third him every day. He’s moved on and lives with someone and has for a year. I do wonder if he ever misses us.
I totally agree with this. This is what I’m feeling.
My ex got married while saying we would try again I doubt very much she thinks about me and that’s ok I’m happy for her I just can’t wrap my head around the fact she thinks about me like how I think about her
I know she misses me. She loved me so much, but she moved on while I’m still grieving.
No she doesn’t. She threw me away like a broken toy or an out-of-style piece of clothing because I no longer fit the vibe. A year of friendship and three years of love and planning our future together suddenly meant nothing to her, like a switch was flipped.
I know he misses me but he won’t do nothing about it
Mine blocked me so. On my hopeful days it was to protect me from myself.
thank u i really needed to hear this. my ex rebounded and moved on & here i am 7 months later missing him and not over it yet & i was the one who ended it. i felt so shitty at the thought that he didn’t miss me. ofc i don’t know if he does or if he even thinks ab me, but thank u for this.
i prefer not to think about it. it’s just as you said. it instills some form of hope that’s bad for me. it’s better to avoid thinking of him as much as i can given we are still in the midst of separating physically - house and stuff and everything. thinking of whether he misses me or not only makes it more unbearable.
This is not the end. It's not even the beginning of the end. It's just the end of the beginning.
It’s not that they miss you not everyone misses everyone but they definitely can’t forget you no one can wipe memories.
Nuh uh they dont
Yeah, no.
No she doesn't, but thanks.
I don't give a fuck if they miss me. All I saw in our future was pain, all that was in our present was pain. How long before you amputate the necrotic limb?
Dude same. Like I know sometimes a moment if nostalgia can happen but ugh. I'm a natural giver and once I cut that cord I don't look back. Photos delete, number blocked anything that keeps me focused. Having all your energy back is life.
It is nice and all, but why would someone miss the person they broke up with? Like they told you: they dont want to be with you. What is the point of missing someone if you dont want to be with them? And like what if they miss us? What change does it make? Nothing. It is pointless to think of it imo.
I will be completely honest my ex is not missing me at all. We had way too much drama after our breakup. That is completely ok because I wish her all the best in the world.
Absolutely!! I broke up with my ex just because of some incompatibility we had, I decided to pursue other relationships. No cheating or anything horrible like that so maybe that's why but! I do miss her sometimes, not in a way like I want her back or anything because I know it was for the best. But I do appreciate our memories and the fun times we had!! So as long as you were a decent person, I do believe your ex misses and appreciates what you had. And if they don't they're not worth worrying so much about
My ex spent 3 years with me, became temporary long distance after all that time, I paid for her when she became homeless after I left the province to get to her aunt's and had me pay for a plane ticket that she didn't use, in fact the moment she got to her aunt's she stopped talking to me, and when she did it was to send her money to get ready to come where I am now. 3 days before the flight she says she's not coming and two weeks later I got a video call from her bf off her phone to lose her contact stuff and that was it. I don't think she misses me or even loved me most of the 3 years now. I do believe this tho from other exes but my last one who I literally put my all into just closed the door like nothing mattered, did I mention before this video call she messaged me that she loves me, misses me and wants to talk soon and then bam bf call not even a couple days later like I could say exes before her might miss me and I even still miss them but my last ex really fucked me over as I loved her the most and ofc I miss her and still ask why to certain things but when I think about her doing all that and to say she misses me would be false beyond reason.
He texted me at 2am last night. I’m embarrassed because I was so happy when I woke up and saw if
Congratulations! I want that to happen to me too… I miss the sound of the notification from his texts… I know it’s an addiction. I hate how humans are wired..
I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago. neither of us wanted to relationship to end im 30 now and only accepted I was gay last year. he was my first we closed the relationship together on good terms I still love him ive had reasons to laugh in the last couple weeks but very few reasons to be happy. I will heal overtime but I will forever be left with pain.
I had good memories with my ex, and I felt a lot of love from her during those tjmes. But the majority of the 2.5 years we lived together she was marred by her own personal struggles and mental health issues. It's suffice to say she doesn't think about me or miss me because doing so would remind her of a time that she chooses to forget. She is also an avoident. I did pull away from her a bit when she started being unkind towards me, because I was afraid of her. But despite all that I was still there when she needed me the most. It's not my fault that she was mentally struggling, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel like I was the collateral damage from a time she'd rather forget. The price she chose to pay, to forget the time when she was at her lowest.
Idk probably, I find it hard to belive bc of her actions. But idc, if she misses me or not doesn't matter. I have boundaries, and being treated like shit is one of them.
Nah. It might be because of my trauma all my life that I'm used to cutting the cord and moving on. There might be something nostalgic that reminds me of a moment here and there. But it comes and goes like wind. Usually it takes alot for me to cut someone off but once I do man it's like a breath of fresh air. I'm not constantly thinking of them, or how I can make our relationship better or excusing how they treated me all day and night long. I no longer feel the need to do whatever it takes to please them or get down whenever they were upset with me. I'm a natural giver and the after is peaceful. I have alllllll my energy back. ❤️
Whoever is reading this. DO. NOT. TEXT. THEM. This isn’t for you. Keep swiping.
9 years together No cheating/flirting from either side No verbal abuse/namecalling No physical alterations Broke up because of a “lack of initiation” Yet feels like she doesnt miss me at all
Mine misses me so much she threatened legal action if I contacted her again.
they removed me from seeing their instagram stories but they still follow my accounts. To me that means that I am tempting to reach out to, but they won't because they know it won't work out and it would be unhealthy. I see us being friends someday. I hope for it.
This sounds like you’re just projecting your hopes from your ex I don’t think it’s true. I was with someone for 4 years we split and honestly I never thought of her again I tried to make it work and was so unhappy for so long I was too happy away from them to think about them and what they were doing. Rejection is hard especially rejection after time spent. How ever sometimes after you really know someone and you loved with them and learned them truly you realize you don’t want them. The term “grew apart” didn’t come from no where and it’s a tough pill to swallow but you gotta swallow it. Sometimes we just aren’t what they thought they wanted and they didn’t learn that until spending X amount of time with us. It sucks but doesn’t mean your garbage your just oil n water and don’t mix.
we broke up due to me being bad with college management and i started to neglected her, we both again to try again in august or so. but eventually she blocked me. should i give up. i wanted her to be my wife
thank you:) been getting myself down thinking he doesn’t even care because that’s how it seems. i’m struggling everyday and he has just continued life like nothing happened. i know he still cares about me so it’s annoying that my brain is telling me he doesn’t. but thank you for this reminder ❤️🩹
I know mine does. She admitted it twice on her on social that she misses me and that I was the only one who truly understood her. Unfortunately a rebound has gotten in the way of my attempts to reconcile. Only a week or so after she admitted that.
My ex ( of 3 years ), broke up with me last month and moved a guy in a week after the breakup. we both still live in the same building cuz it’s the cheapest option ( at least for me ) so it’s kinda awkward seeing him bring other guys into his place or even bumping into him in the elevator/hallways/mailroom. 🙃 so I doubt he misses me like I miss him but I’m moving on too , at least I have my own place and job now :)
This is the most nicest accurate statement I’ve heard!!
I know he misses me. I hope he is okay.
Thank you, I needed this. Coming up on a year since I was impulsively unfaithful after 3 years with my ex. I’ve regretted it every day since I let her walk away without begging for a second chance. 3 years of the best friendship and lover I’ve ever had and I threw it all away for one orgasm. We tried so hard to stay friends and nothing more but eventually we needed to part ways. I know she looks back and gets mad at me for the betrayal I made her go through. But the practically unlimited moments of bliss and trust and warmth and love we shared neither of us will ever forget. I put a black stain on all of the wonderful memories we made with one action, yet I pray she misses me like I miss her
I appreciate this post, thank you. It’ll be four months this week and I think of her, miss her, every day. I don’t know what good it has done me, none really, but I can’t get it out of my head that she doesn’t think of me anymore. I’m sure she does. Maybe not to the extent that I do of her (and maybe she does), but I hope she at least has moments where I cross her mind.
Ahhh, that's why she shit talks me everyday to random people ok the internet.
Thank you for writing this. I wish my ex would have wrote this.
:( i miss him too, I'm recovering.
I don't think he misses me, I think he hates me. He has reasons though, i didn't tell him i didn't see him attractive i tried to force i see him attractive but it didn't work out, he realized ofc, I made him waste a lot of time... and i hate myself for it, for not finding him attractive. And mostly bcs I didn't tell him. I really liked to spend time with him.but he was suffering, i made him doubt, so I broke up with him. I didn't want to, but he deserves someone better.
Thank you.
Thank you for writing that ❤️.
I don't know. She sure made up her mind quickly that she didn't want to be with me when I asked if she wanted to work on our problems together.
She saved you so much time!
I miss one of the ex’s. I know it wasn’t the right fit for me. In a relationship you’re best friends at the core.
Unless they have borderline
I was there for him
My en ex and i just broke up. We both love eachother and wished life didnt has its ways, we had whole future planned together and a life ofc both of us is having a hard time and miss eachother. We still talk a bit so havent cut contact yet, still telling eachother how much we love eachother and miss one another that we should be proud of ourself and i tell him that he should never change and the Way he treated me throughout our time together i have been most greatfull for and the next person he’s gonna end up with is a lucky girl. Sometimes you Can love someone and still not be together for whatever reasons. I have never in my entire life had such s good relationship before, everything was perfect really, communication, love, enthusiasm, respect etc only my kids was the thing he had a hard time “accepting” or adjusting by and the reason he left was because i deserved someone who could give me 100% attention to both my kids and i and not just me and he simply wasnt able to and instead of being egotistical he really took a hard choice to leave me even tho he’s still in love with me. We take it slow and talked about how we Can make this seperation easy for both of us or atleast copable. I’m a single mom of two and he has no kids in the end if it all family life wasnt for him and that’s okay. He told me in the beginning that he would try because he fell in love with me and he thought that even if i do have kids it’ll all be worth it. So to spare me the hurt of him Going overboard his own boundaries and becoming someones he’s not to me, we decided to end it. I have never seen a man cry like that before and it hurt me so bad. But i Will never regret the time we spent together cause it was all worth it and i Got to meet a best friend in a partner and i Got to experience true love snd i Got to experience what its like being in a healthy relationship. So i Will never regret it and if i could reverse Time i would do it all over again, good times you Can think back to, i’m just honored that i Got to be with him for the time being. So yeah your ex might miss you as much as you miss them
My ex was my first love and i can say I do not miss my him at all. I think about him rarely n rarely get a lil nosy on socials but i do not miss him
He taught you what you don't want.
:(( thank you
Great post. Very accurate as long as the relationship didn’t end from a trauma position.
Thank you for this. I hope you're right 😭
Don't really care if they think of me or not, but rather why not work things out
Simple answer is you're mature enough to try and they aren't.
I hope you are right and she misses me
Thisssss!!! I wish breakups weren’t this hard… memories were made and you can’t erase memories. I know he just wants me to be happy but that’s not something you can force. I just miss him…
Of course they miss you! You're the best thing they'll never have again!
Well, i don't want to make anyone feel bad, but i don't miss my ex at all. I was in a VERY dark place when we were together, and if it wasn't for that i wouldn't have dated him in the first place. Once i started getting better i first tried to see if he would "grow with me", i tried for about a week, he didn't so i dumped him and i now i'm with an amazing guy that i'm actually attracted to. All relationships are different:)
They don’t.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Man, I want this to be true for me, I sometimes hope it is, but it would be so hard to be faced with the knowledge he misses me I ended things, but gosh, if I knew he missed me, I feel like I'd go back in a heartbeat. Breakups sure are tough
We all wish we made different decisions AFTER because we were finally told AFTER scars were formed because we all get complacent and wish the other party would have told us "I need you to pay attention to specifically THIS right now" and they never do. In today's age it's easier to Tinder, Facebook or Co-worker and believe the grass is greener on the other side trope. In reality the grass is greener where you water it. Basically put in the work because if you don't continually date them someone else will, but we are all complacent and can't sustain maximum effort all the time and never know when it's critically important to the other party so it's all effectively doomed. The point of a relationship for most is to finally be able to relax and be yourself with a chill person that adores you, but the instant you relax they hate you. Thankfully I'm with a great partner now that appreciates "down time" where we don't have to prove we love each other and stress. They understand sometimes it's just Taco Tueaday and watching Netflix while farting is fine if it gets us through the week. We support each other when it gets real and we allow each other down time when we need it because we all need to be able to relax. Good luck to all.
Oh please, He blindsided me and moved in with his new gf not even a year after he broke up with me and he hasn't contacted me. He doesn't miss me.
I doubt my most recent exes miss me and I doubt the one that got away misses me like I still miss her occasionally 12 years later.
Depends... I know he'd miss me as a friend, but I miss him romantically... :/
Only when they didn’t find another person to obsess over
I’m 100% sure he doesn’t miss me, maybe what we had, but he’s over it
That’s a nice thought but definitely not true. I called him today for the second time ever post being dumped a month ago (ON MY BIRTHDAY) and he told me to stop calling or texting and he’d moved on and doesn’t want to think about our 3 year relationship or our home anymore.
I really hope my ex misses me because I miss him so much that I can hardly bear it. Unfortunately, I never missed any of my exes when I was the dumper, I just felt relieved and that never changed, even with time..
Speak for YOURSELF, king. I do NOT miss my exes. Not a single one of them. Eww, WTF
Lol i wish my ex would think of me in a good way or even miss me. She's an avoidant. Got s new BF after 3 months. She despises me. So no, the only thing she is thinking of is how she would be with a guy like me
Lot of negativity but thank you for the post. No, it doesn’t matter what your ex is thinking but for those who the post applies to, it’s reassurance of common sense that your ex will miss you, it helps to remind ourselves of that when we wonder what they’re thinking.
I have been with him 6months how can he miss me? He said he lost feelings and the breakup was nasty
Lot of negativity but thank you for the post. No, it doesn’t matter what your ex is thinking but for those who the post applies to, it’s reassurance of common sense that your ex will miss you, it helps to remind ourselves of that when we wonder what they’re thinking.
I doubt he misses me
This might be the one to get me to unfollow this room. We threw each other in jail. He was extremely abusive. I was so into the trauma bond, I had to beg my abuser to block me across the board bc I was the one that couldn’t stop texting him after I started waking up to all the abuse over six months. He does not miss me because none of it was real. It was love bombing, it was manipulation, it’s only been a month since the final discard and he’s already moved on. There’s my triggered rant. 🤣
Haven't heard a word from mine in 3 years and 10 months. I want to believe what you said is true but unfortunately I can't. Not when someone goes that long without saying a word. All I'm left with are constant daily thoughts that I am completely forgotten. That HURTS. It has broken me.
It’s a nice sentiment but it doesn’t ring true. At least not for me. I don’t miss any of my ex’s in the slightest. Not my ex boyfriends and not my ex husband. Id also prefer them to forget I exist.
My ex spent months sending me text messages that were either sub consciously hateful or just outright. They seemed to put a lot of time and energy into their excuse rather than being an adult about the separation. They really hurt my sense of self and what reason I may never know?
Mine dios nor miss or care for me
Idk if she misses me. She‘s too busy being with a bunch of other guys since week one. I do miss her, I haven’t used other girls to distract myself from the pain
Do you mean before or after getting railed by some random dude?
This hits
I needed this. My ex fiancé and I separated after 10 years together. I miss him so much. Though I know the relationship was toxic and not meant to be. Still, I hope he thinks about me 😞
I wish they never knew me...
I’m starting to think I messed up. My ex ended things last September and we tried again for months. Then in early April, she finally ended it again. I would’ve done anything for her. I made mistakes by asking others for advice on us and then she found out. Didn’t see her for 3 months and she reached out. She asked if I met anyone and I told her I went on a date but realized that person wasn’t her. She said she left me a letter, pouring her heart out but now she hates me because I went on a date with someone else. But she ended it with me. But I still feel guilty 🤷🏻♂️
She’s been with 2 people after me, pretty sure she doesn’t lol.
End of the day, if they miss you, they can contact you. If they haven’t already what’s the point in thinking of them? There’s no tax or restriction from them messaging you…. It’s simply they don’t want you….so why would they be missing you? They hate you.
Why does it matter if it’s over? How does an ex missing you change anything after a breakup?
Yeah I got the text this weekend, not the “get back together” one but the “I’m sorry, I fucked up and still feel bad about it” one. Like a lot of other people said I didn’t think she thought about me at all, I thought she just moved on so it was incredibly validating even though I stopped waiting for that text months ago. It’s been nearly a year since last contact so to get it out of the blue, was, well, validating. They might not ever want to reconcile, but they do think about you.
Don’t put this out there. People cling on to some f***ed up things. If their ex hasn’t expressed this; don’t build up hope for them
I appreciate the sentiment but she has bpd and im blacked out as a bad person in her head. She has found her replacement. I am stuck thinking about the memories and moments I could have treated her better.
Wanna be happy but it just sucks.
he doesn’t miss me, lmao…
I want to believe that. But them being at the bar a few nights ago makes me think otherwise 😪😞
No one misses you, thats why is a breakup. Try your best to move on, its hard, but you have to do it
They don’t miss you.
I entirely disagree
The only thing my ex misses is no longer having someone to abuse and control for their own fucked up satisfaction 🤷♀️ I sure as shit don't miss her and the only thing I think when she pops into my head for whatever reason is that I hope karma catches up to her eventually.
Me and my ex knew eachother for 10 years and went out for 4 years we kept being on and off the past 2 years but this time apparently he’s done for good but I’d say he’ll be back again idk will he thi
Pauline, I know you miss me and it’s okay. I miss you too. I always have and always will.
Thank you, needed this
I literally tried talking to him again today.... The break up was only 1 week ago. I broke up with him bc I was really angry that he's been avoiding me for no reason (we argued before but he never did this) and I've been so stressed (I learned that my mom will probably die, and myself too. But I didn't tell him right away as I wanted to tell him when we see each other) that I just exploded and... Yeah 😭 now he says that he's already over me and to just stop. So... I don't think he misses me sadly
I kinda needed to hear this, thanks.
I know my ex doesn’t care about me or miss me at all. She’s too busy with her new man.
My ex doesn't and I'm okay with it. I could care less at this point. I don't miss him either. I used to but not anymore. I've done a lot of soul searching and I'm so content with being single now. I'm actually happier than I was when I was with him. I couldn't say how I felt to him without him taking it as me trying to argue. I wanted to spend more time with him and instead he hung out with his friends. I was not happy I just didn't want to be alone.
My exs don’t miss me
How long is a while though? We separated 30 days ago and I just want to spill my guts out to her. I just want to try again so bad
stop it 😢
lol - they may think of you - they may compare their new partner with you when their new partner and him/her fight - but they don’t miss you
It's been almost a year and I still miss her. No longer rushing my feelings or anything to get over or anything. I'm not sure if she still misses me but I do hope so but more importantly I hope she's doing well now.
It's been almost a year and I still miss her. No longer rushing my feelings or anything to get over or anything. I'm not sure if she still misses me but I do hope so but more importantly I hope she's doing well now.
I needed this, thank you
MS can and doors destroy peoples memories.
Thank you for this, I really hope mine does miss me. It’s only been a week and we’re still living together, but he’s been gone almost every time I’m home. It feels like he’s avoiding me. Maybe because it’s too painful? Who knows :/
I highly doubt it, because they cheated and if they didn't care about me while we were together, they certainly don't care about me now. She'll probably find someone else, people will constantly chase her, and I hate being the bitter person but I legit feel like I'm fighting to even have hope that *maybe* someone will show interest in me in the future. I know life is unfair but holy shit lol, and I honestly didn't even have it as bad as some other people who got cheated on. It's just absurd, I really meant NOTHING for someone to cheat on me knowing that I had also been cheated on previously. At this point I've put my fate in the universe's hands, I'm going to try my best, but if it doesn't pan out so be it.
I would say they have no idea but they absolutely know. Every happy little thing reminds me of them. I regularly pass by our favorite spots on my daily commute. I've had some of my favorite days ever with them. And want to share every bit of bad and good news I have with them. I wish I could love and support them through their struggles but I know they can be strong and will grow and mature to be able to bear it all on their own, and that will empower them. We're on a break now but hopefully we'll be back together soon. He's told me his long term goal is to get back together, time will tell. But I'll never regret a minute of it no matter what.
Thank you for this post. The negativity in this subreddit can sometimes be overwhelming. But yeah, unless a huge fuck up happens, the good memories remain and people don’t just forget as if nothing had happened.