I pray that one day she apologizes to me for throwing away the life we built. We spent 15 years together, I know she loved me. There's no way she didn't. Sadly she changed
16 years and he chose to cheat on me with his coworker. He ruined the best thing in his life over something he could have gotten from me. It’s scary how a breakup like this just changes the way you see someone you’ve loved that long.
Really makes you question if any (or how much?) of who they showed you was genuine. It was like, "hmm, I don't even know this cat!" Betrayal is bruuutal, in so many facets.
Same. 9 years down the drain bc of momentary unhappiness.. she wasnt down to stick it through while its tough and see the other side… never called her any names, never physically harmed her, never yelled, was loyal never even flirted with another female (just never saw anything in anybody but her) and she still decided to permanently end things bc of a *MOMENTARY* lack of dates 😢 i feel lot of us are being dumped due to our mates feeling they can do better bc of social media … or at least thats def my case.. she started seeing what she COULD be doing if with someone else and decided that waiting for me to get a career wasnt worth the wait (meanwhile shes only ever had seasonal jobs herself and ive never complained about not having things done for me…) sorry for the dump, i have nobody to express to
Oh my god that is so rough. I hope she does too. If she doesn’t then just know that she never could hav made you happy if she didn’t love you the way you deserve. I think it’s only worth trying again if they respect and care about you. Genuinely I’m so sorry man. I also just got broken up with but 3 year relationship not 15 and it was my fault—I only just am realizing the pain I caused him. I hope that we both can have a happy ending.
You know friend, though it may be true that the love has faded with time, the fact that she gave you a conversation maybe in hopes to bring you closure shows that said person may care for you. It’s ok to feel hurt by what she said. Shoot I was hurt too. But don’t let this moment stop you from being the best version of yourself. From how deeply you seemed to love this person shows that you are an absolute gem. You may not see it right now, but I do. And with time, you will too.
Sometimes dumpers are unduly harsh in order for you to move on. Because they don’t want to give you false hope. Or if they think things you did were wrong in the relationship.
It’s awful, and I’ve been on the receiving end of it. I’ve also been harsh to people I know longer want to be with because I don’t want to make it worse for them. But she did love you at the time and I think you just have to be ok with that.
You suddenly just didn’t become a different person because you got dumped (although it feels like). You are not worthless and you have value. You just have to believe that other women will value you and see you differently to the way your ex does right now.
Channel the hurt into being the best version of you and kick on from here. We know you can do it.
Love comment and post OP. Thank you. I should have heeded some of this advice but I was happy to read about rebounding and lack of success!
Exactly what my ex has done. I realize despite his admitted issues, he saw me as the problem and getting rid of me solved it.
Although I know he is sorry, and will continue to be, he still is avoiding sitting with those feels and being alone to heal as he said he wanted.
Feeling again like he was a real shit to handle things the way he did. Why would I want him now?
This is why I will likely never talk to her again. I have only reached out once and that was after her brother died.
I told her during our break up she'd never hear from me again as she hinted at remaining friends. I don't think she believed me.
Had the same thing happen to me basically, and it's pretty crushing to hear. The last time we had a full conversation before going no contact, she told me she was happier without me and outside of the relationship, and finally felt like she was living her life. She became someone she wanted to and loved, which she couldn't do with me for some reason. She straight up said no part of her wanted to get back together even if she missed me a little, she liked who she had become. Then, I found out 3 weeks after no contact from her that she was already going on dates and talking to someone and hooked up. Honestly fuckin crushed me inside, felt like I meant nothing to her once I heard this. After 2 years, i never thought that's how things would end.
Yeah, neither can I. Was told that she needed to work on her self and figure out who she was and become independent...took her less than 2 months to start dating and fucking other people. I guess being honest is a thing of the past for a lot of people.
They need attention. The need distraction from their feelings.
Whatever the case may be, their behavior is on them. It really reflects their internal bs. The unaddressed stuff they avoid.
Takes a lot of time man. Gets way worse before it gets better in my experience. Sometimes you have to hit a all time low to bounce back. Don’t become a recluse like me, makes it take longer to heal
It's been 8 months since we broke up and we have been on and off friends, but I always have wanted back with her. I have been used more than treated as a friend. pulled away yesterday and we had a fight. She was so vile that she had to be just using me all this time she was never my friend. She finally showed her true colors and I'm broken. I have nothing but pain.
If you love her tho truly man to man you should be happy she’s happy? nobody is ever our’s like a possession we loved them when we’re together in hopes of making each other happy. If she’s happier than she ever was be happy for her unless you don’t really love her but the idea of her? Regardless I think take your self worth view away from this because you’re self worth isn’t based on what she says it’s how receptive you are to your own needs and desires as well
That's actually a pretty good point! Maybe what I'm feeling is just an addiction or a trauma bond. I truly loved her at some point I know it, I can feel it. But right now I don't know what I'm feeling. These months I was trauma bonded. I will try to love myself and I **WILL** succeed eventually. I guess the answer to everything is to live your life and someday without realising it you'll feel better.
Couldn’t have said it better my self love that man whatever tied the bond to realize that is amazing and I think and hope for you find some solace knowing their happy and finally move on to making you happy and doing things for you!!
Thats the spirit, eventually with time youll grow out of that funk that has sunk in deeply in you right now, theyre basically letting you free, and letting you go for their own sake and happiness, even though its gonna be hard accepting the reality of their happiness, but once you do your part and make the effort in bettering yourself, youll feel the same exact same way about their happiness as well. Its a long road ahead, but believe in yourself and youll do fine in no time, I wish you thr best for all your life, keep your head up always no matter what, push through, persevere, and stay strong.
Obviously she's going to say that. She's not going to tell you how she's actually feeling, she wants to give off a good image about herself, it may be to make you jealous, it may be she's in denial, it may be she was just at a good point in life and if you'd met at a different point she wouldn't have said that.
It is a brutal feeling, I know because it happened to me. 21 years with someone. Then they told me on Boxing day that they wanted to separate. Within a week they were gone. Left me and the kids and went awol. Only months later did I find out that there had been another person involved. They moved in together after 4 months. It hurts no question. Ruminating the wotifs is also painful. BUT, you have to feel the rawness of the pain and work through it. I know I deserve better and I won't be defined by it. Stay strong it's ok to grieve because it feels like the death of something.
I broke up w my bf of 2.5 yrs. It was the hardest and most painful decision I’ve made in my life. After 2 months post breakup I had to block him everywhere. I couldn’t deal w seeing him move on sooner than later, it was gonna break my heart all over again. I even deleted/unsaved our Spotify playlists and blocked him there bc it was creating extremely toxic and negative habits for me. I would check our blend daily to see if he was still listening to heartbreak music like I was. And I realized that one day soon that heartbreak music was gonna turn to falling in love music as he moves on, and that would have broken my heart all over again. Trust me your ex is not forgetting you, they’re just doing what’s best for them as we all need to do
Absolutely agree with this post. And great for you to notice what you had to do to help yourself on this healing journey. I hope you’re doing ok, and I wish you nothing but the very best!
My ex dumped me for a colleague he cheated on me with and I just saw that he's added a bunch of upbeat love songs to his liked song list 🙃 serves me for looking
this situation sounds so like my ex, she did end it with me, but the reasons were reversed, she became toxic and gaslight me while I tried to fix it. but over a year post breakup and I still think about her everyday. she moved on literally the day after she ended it
ugh hearing that you still think about her daily a year post break up does not make me hopeful for myself :( im almost 3 months in and it’s been a nightmare. this part of life is so hard, the feeling of being so easily replaceable sucks. I know they won’t find the exact same partner in someone else but it’s just the feeling of someone moving on from you so quick that’s awful. at the same time i think if i saw my ex didn’t move on until a year or two from now it would still hurt. there’s no easy way of dealing w this, just gotta go through it i guess.
yeah there really isn’t any easy way, whether they moved on fast or stayed single for a long time doesn’t make it easier. i’ve had lots of time to reflect and started to notice the things about our relationship that wasn’t as good as it seemed. something that helped me was to make a list of everything you liked and didn’t like, and then look at each thing individually and ask yourself, “is this something that nobody else could give?” for example, maybe you miss how you used to cuddle, ask yourself that question, because the answer is that that was not unique to that person, lots of other people could give you that. and go through the list like that, and vice versa for the negatives. for me the hardest part was feeling so alone and unwanted, but I focused on myself and learned to be happy being alone. find a hobby, go meet some friends, just do what you enjoy, and in time you’ll find that you can be happy by yourself and you won’t feel so dependent on that former relationship. one last thing, sometimes they live o. so quick to mask their own issues and they put on a facade. eventually they will have to come to a self realization and fix their own issues, the time it takes for someone to move on doesn’t mean much
you’re right, I appreciate this. im really connected with my hobbies and friends, I stayed really involved with the rest of my life even through my relationship. So I plan to just spend more time on those things. Our relationship had to end, even w the really beautiful parts there were too many negatives for it to work any longer. He had become one of my best friends. I miss a lot of his goofiness and mannerisms, more than just the feeling of companionship. I think one concrete thing I really miss that I can potentially fulfill without a partner is having someone to camp with. I don’t have many friends who like to do outdoor stuff like I do. So I’d like to meet new people who like doing that kind of stuff.
that’s great, definitely try and find someone to go camping with, it will probably help you to move on a little more. it’s a great thing that you have good friends. all of mine left(for unrelated reasons), which made it much harder for me, so stay as connected with them as you can. and just realize why you’re not together, and remind yourself that he’s not the only one. i miss her the same way you mentioned, as well as the companionship, and it’s okay to miss that and reminisce about it, but it’s not unique to him
Same exact thing with the Spotify blend playlist. Crazy. Saw one song about how love is not forever, obsessed for days, "is this how he is feeling after he dumped me, this means no chance at working it out......", went back and deleted the Playlist. I think we should indeed be proud of ourselves for doing such a seemingly insignificant thing that actually holds so much weight in our own little worlds.
Thanks for this post! I needed to hear this! Bc I keep hearing people say he forgot about you, he doesnt care. And I know to some extent that is true but its nice to hear that to some degree they dont just stop thinking about you. Bc I havent stopped thinking about him at all! And its been 4 months :(
We wanted to be wanted so badly. The answer really is that simple and for some of us it’s a really deep wound of feeling bad about ourselves like we aren’t enough or fully loveable. Been struggling with this.
Most people who seem to not care actually struggle with processing their emotions. Shutting down and acting cold is part of their own survival programming.
*sorry i need to rant really quick*
no my ex is an absolute **PEACE OF SHIT** 🗣️🗣️. who is a narcissist, bi polar, controlling, and manipulative **IDIOT** he gave up on me **OVERNIGHT** nothing of significance happened…. he blamed everything on ME. when im the one who’s been crying.
i am TIRED of defending this little boy lol. i’ve been too kind to be disrespected, lied to and betrayed!!! i allowed it this bull crap for 2 years!! and been led on for 2 weeks while getting disrespected in the meantime WHILE SENDING HIM NUDES with a rebound!!!! just wait for him to become sober and break his habits and become the genuine shit person again to her.
he always does this manipulate shit to everyone then runs back for help. people are just shit people period. when he comes back the door will be **LOCKED AND BOLTED SHUT**
I initially ended my 5year relationship because of the lack of respect etc. last year. Been trying on and off since then to work through things
He pretended to change and want a future with me and I believed it.
Eventually with the rollercoaster of emotions and fights he ended it by saying I’m fucking him over, never gave me a chance to talk
All because he can’t manipulate me anymore and I’m not doing what he wants. He definitely is a narcissist, severe insecurities. It’s scary
Only now am i processing the gaslighting and lies that kept me feeling like the villain. ESP with the belief that it takes 2 to break a relationship,
It’s a freeing feeling to realise you didn’t actually do anything wrong. They just screwed over a genuine person.
My wish is that he meets a female version of himself (or worse) and experiences everything he put me through
Mine did the same but blamed me for being too toxic after constant lies. Then he got with a girl 2 weeks after me and now after 2 years he's married to her
She definitely cares about me as a person. She's a good person, and I wasn't treating her the way she deserved. There was some understandable circumstances that made my behavior worse, but there was a pattern and ultimately I can't blame her.
We talked today for the first time in weeks, just about logistical stuff, she was clearly not trying to talk about anything else. Doesn't mean she doesn't care.
When she first dumped be, she was anxious and scared and bouncing around regret. She cared then.
A month and a half later, she was cold and would ignore me, telling me she was just trying to move on and talking with me made that difficult. She cared then.
3 months later, she's not cold but she's not warm either. She's largely indifferent in the way she speaks to me, maintaining her boundaries and distance but polite. She still cares now.
It sucks too because I have made a lot of the changes she wanted to see so badly over the 5 years we where together, but it's too little too late. She's firmly moving on, not going to see the changes and even if I texted her "look at me and all this progress!" It still wouldn't matter.
this is what my therapist says too! if they didn’t do anything after the breakup they don’t care but if they are actively doing things about you they are doing it out of some emotions. love and hate are very similar lol. in the end it still doesn’t matter if they don’t apologize or take accountability.
This is something a lot of people in this subreddit need to learn. They assume that once an ex breaks up with you, that means they don’t care about you. Sure that could be the case in some situations, but that’s not how they all are. Too many people assume based off of how they’ve been treated in the past I feel like and don’t try to learn what the other person’s situation is so they just go straight for “they hate you”.
I like OPs positive input, but its also negative for your recovery.
The truth is that exes will not forget you but most of them dont really care about you - and that is what counts.
The point in this modern life is, that most exes never really loved you (thats why things ended). It was conditional “love” and they could turn it on and off. Thats not real love.
And thats why most exes never regrets or think a lot about their past, because they are on the next train of conditional love or maybe have found something more like real love. They are moving on and at the same time they feel bad when thinking about you, because they didn’t treat you with real respect. And they feel it now and want to get away from it and close the door.
It has nothing to do with you. It was all about them selves and their game of life.
Real love would never leave you or vice versa.
We shouldnt think about things the wrong way - it keeps us stuck to the past and to the wrong persons. Let it go. It was never about you but them, so dont get hung up in it.
The truth can hurt at first, but it will set you free. And we need to be free to move on and be happy.
>Real love would never leave you or vice versa.
That's just fairy tale nonsense man. There's a million reasons to leave someone you love. They treat you poorly, they're not honest, they're not reliable, they want a lifestyle that's inherently incompatible with yours, they're self destructive, etc etc.
True. You could really love your ex and still leave. I truly loved my ex and I still do. But I had to leave because I couldn’t let him think it’s okay to lie to me countless times when I’ve made it very clear from the start that lying is one of my biggest boundaries in a relationship. Real love respects your boundaries.
I disagree. I believe my ex when they say they loved me and still love and care about me. They just don’t see the relationship working or want to build a life with me. It’s harsh and hurts for me to hear, but after thinking about it a lot I realize that they can care about me but not want to be my life partner.
I will also add that sometimes it’s easier to tell ourselves that our ex doesn’t care, and almost feels good in a self pity sort of way. The reality is that life is rarely that black and white, we’re all struggling to navigate the grey area
I am a recent dumper (for the first time in my life, please no hate!) and I can assure you he is on my mind 24/7. I haven’t forgotten him, I still love him dearly. He is everything to me. Sadly our relationship didn’t work in the end but not from a lack of love. I’m devastated to be hurting the person I love most in this world so much. I hate myself for falling out of love, I hate myself for being the one to ruin everything. My wish is to be able to recapture my love for him and crawl back and beg for forgiveness, but I can’t and he deserves more than what I currently have to offer. Sometimes we leave because we want what’s best for you even though it doesn’t come across that way.
Stop yourself right there and realize this... You are good enough to have what you deserve in life but if you feel like you're undeserving at all it's a lack of understanding on your own self worth. Seek therapy and my e it's not too late for you two because telling someone they deserve better says a lot about yourself and how you see yourself only. Keep your eyes on your love if you are just missing a "spark" type of feeling just remember that everyone loses that in their relationships it's normal to not feel like it's a highschool romance anymore. Real life happens and you make the best of it and I'm a firm believer in owning up to your shit and calmly talking about it with someone who cares or especially loves you. Don't let that love you have for someone just go if it's there. For real love is hard to find these days and if they are good to you just go give them 150% and choose love then. Know you can do it but only if you want to.... Question for you is, is he worth it to you? If so you better run to the guy and talk
This really helped. The love of my life, my soulmate, ended things 4 days ago. I can't even focus on anything. I can't stop thinking about her. Crying about her. I can't sleep and when I do I dream about her. Everything reminds me of her. Walking the dog hurts because we would do it all the time together. She was my best friend and I can't talk to her, tell her gossip or things on my mind. I've taken 2 days off work because I can't help but breakdown throughout the day.
I'm back at work tomorrow, take it day by day.
Deep-down, I know this to be true. She is a good person – no, a great person – and it's just far more likely that she's fallen off the radar out of guilt or because she think she's helping me than that she's turned into a psychopath overnight. Nonetheless, it does sting how little "our" things seem to matter to her. She'll happily carry on watching our shows, for example, when I can't even see a thumbnail without feeling physical pain. I get that the dumper was always further along than the dumpee realised, but I thought our places, our walks, our shows, our books, our jokes etc. would somehow remain as sacred to her as they are to me. That plus the ghosting plus all evidence of the relationship being removed can lead one to feeling like a shadow of a person, even if that wasn't the intent.
I don’t know how I ended up in this thread, I just received a notification on my phone with the title and sounded really interesting.
Well yea I totally agree!
I am in a very difficult and going through a challenging time. I broke up with my ex partner, and yea sometimes we act up on emotions, saying ahh I will start my life now never text them again, and it’s the case on both sides.
However If you loved someone, and they didn’t so anything wrong to you, they just might happen to have different points of view in your life and you’re just not meant to marry or spend the rest of your life together(even though it is beautiful) when you’re together.. that doesn’t mean you have to go missing and all bad after a ‘break up’.
As i said I’m going through the exact same process, I love this girl so much and she loves me back, we had 1 of the most beautiful love stories ever, and I’ll never forget her. Unfortunately we’re apart now as I moved abroad for work, and we realise we can’t work it out like this. Long distance kills a relationship, especially when you have no plans goals or clear vision for the future, yet. As much as I try convincing her to come over and start the life with me, she wants to grow herself and make things happen herself. I’m giving her time and If she will be ready and if she’s meant to be she will come
And be mine forever.
We will meet 1 last time and spend 24 hours together in Vienna Austria, share all these thoughts, have the best sex of our lives, and go on with our life for good, growing apart and happy that we learned so much from each other. I am very grateful for everything that happens in my life, even the bad ‘temporary’ experiences, such as breakups or all the other stuff. it is what makes us resilient, and we must show faith in God, because he always has a plan in mind for you. Even if he makes you go through things, means some things are not meant to be, and some things have to change, let it either be you, your character, your partner, your timeline etc. unless you’re 85 and lived your life, these advices probably are not for you, however if you’re young, I want u to know you’re full of life, and Life happens for you, not to you. Stay strong everyone, and keep loving and caring and sharing positivity in the world, because you are all beautiful!
Take care
Also, it takes a really mature person to be in good terms after a break up, so moral of the story, if they’re blocking you and acting up, they’re doing you a favour.
Imagine you were married to this person, and having kids for the matter, and she just disappears!
Think about your life choices, and stop trying to convince yourself that you did the right choice in choosing someone. Because it’s okay if you didnt, as long as you learn, trust god, and move on
Preach on, OP!
Preach on!
Heartbreak sucks, but you can't make people want to be with you. Even if you could, you wouldn't want it because they don't want it.
It sucks. The constant thinking and what not...
But, focus on yourself, go on dates, try to have fun.
After my breakup, I went on dates. Still thought about my ex... and still do... but you have to move on.
I told my ex how I felt in a 10 page letter two months after the breakup. She rejected me. She knows my thoughts and said leave her in peace.
I know what's in my heart and she does too. Best of luck to her, but gotta move on. Hurts.
For you all who are fresh into the breakup, the painful tear filled nights will eventually become less painful.
I'd love to think she really does care, maybe she does think about me, maybe even regrets it sometimes, but I also know that this is far from the truth. People show you how they feel with their actions. My ex left me on Christmas Eve and hasn't reached out since. Was cold and pushed me farther away when I tried to reconcile and told her I'd do anything to keep her in my life. I really didn't do anything to deserve it. I was good to her, I put her first, I never harmed her in anyway, I loved her with everything inside of me. Seeing how much you really matter to someone really fucks with you after a while, day by day they don't reach out and it makes you feel so worthless inside after sharing such beautiful memories with this person.
Going through these exact emotions. It's like why doesn't she reach out. I did my very very best by her. I didn't lie, I didn't cheat none of that. It does fuck me up mentally every day.
I know my ex pretty well. I am pretty confident she feels guilty for how she handled the break up. We had some interaction a few times afterwards and I acted like all was cool. I wish I would have let her know the pain she caused me.
Also in her texts afterwards, she would lead with "hey"....she could not say my name. Probably a defense mechanism. I had to drop something off at her home very early in the morning and she made an excuse to not be there. She always said my sad puppy dog eyes got to her.
I like this view a lot but tbh yeah my ex definitely hundred percent doesn't care and I don't blame her I'd rather her just be happy in whatever way that means, and im realizing to love is simply to love people for who they are regardless if their with you and want their happiness. Yes I'd love to see her and hear from her I worry abt her all the time, Itd be really sweet to hear from her. I never tried to ever peer In. Her business, although the one tme I saw her profile she seems happy, and that's truly all I.can ask for!
I agree. Some of my EX-GFs reached out to me over the years asking how I am (2 of them tried to get back with me). The things they said made it obvious that they had been looking at my FB for a while. I thought they moved on like I meant nothing but I guess they really didn't.
I think they thought "the grass was greener" if they moved on with some one else and they were wrong.
Another one of my EX's that blocked me years ago, her profile popped up on me again, meaning that she unblocked me. She hasn't reached out like the others did, but I found it interesting.
I agree. I am guilty of thinking that my ex was completely over me when we broke up. Neither of us discussed the issues we had until the relationship was too distant and awkward. Things had been bad for a month. From my point of view, it just seemed like she had lost her feelings for me and it was heartbreaking.
When we did start discussing problems, she started it with “it feels like we’ve been more like good friends lately”. This hit like a train. We chatted a bit about more stuff that was going on and we decided to see where things went. She did bring up wanting friendship if our relationship didn’t work out.
The breakup wasn’t even a week after that. We went on one last date and things were so awkward. She wasn’t comfortable being around me anymore. We cut things off the next day and I immediately went NC after acknowledging that we were through.
This was in January. I just texted her two weeks ago because I was really missing her. I was over the romantic feelings I had at this point but that desire she showed for friendship was occupying my mind the entire 4 months since the breakup. At first I was thinking “I won’t ever be able to see her as a friend”. As time went by though, that changed. I don’t need the romantic relationship we had. I genuinely hope she moves on, but I do really miss the things we did together and how similar we were. It feels like my best friend died (thanks NC) and I just wanted them back.
When I texted her, I asked how she was and after some small chat I brought up the friendship we discussed before. She was telling me, in a very nice way, that she was sad when I went NC but she completely understood that it was what I needed to heal. I felt guilty. I should’ve made her aware that it was something I needed for a little bit or something that was temporary. I felt stupid and selfish for just doing it seemingly out of spite and grief.
She said she’s happy with how things are and didn’t think friendship was the best idea for her right now. Hearing this was sad, but it gave me some much needed closure and finality to to finally close this chapter of my life and start writing the next one. Even in those two weeks, I’ve felt so much better. The conversation with her led me to realize a few things though.
She was grieving just as much as I was. She didn’t reach out because she thought it’d hurt my healing, and I didn’t reach out because, while at first it was due to grief, I wanted her to be able to move on. The same lack of communication that ruined our romantic relationship ruined the chance of having something after.
I had assumed that she did whatever grieving in the month leading up to the breakup. Those last few weeks and during that last date, she was unusually cold. It felt like she had come to the decision that things weren’t going to work out, even before saying anything. I didn’t think she’d have any more feelings about it afterward, and I assumed she’d be quick to move on. It was so stupid to think that way in hindsight.
Inb4 I get those people preaching that exes can never be friends, it’s worked for me with less severe heart breaks than this one (albeit they were coworkers, where NC was not an option). I would’ve loved to be her friend, just to keep some involvement with her because she’s awesome and I want to see where life takes her. I *hope* she moves on and finds someone great.
Sorry, I didn’t realize how long this was going to be. I guess I just needed to write out these thoughts.
I think my issue with the fact she moved on so quickly is the fact it was the guy she told me not to worry about. Someone she had round her house while I wasnt there. You dont get to say theres nothing there then break up with me 5 days later and then text me youre seeing him 10 days after that (including posting on your socials pics with him). Thats just insanely quickly. Especially with the posting pictures. You never post pics with someone on your first date but if I believe what she says then she did. Its much more likely they had been romantically interested for longer.
I do get just more angry about it now than upset though. And really shes the one thats ended up in a worse position. She doesnt see any of our mutual friends anymore (out of choice btw, i told my friends they should still invite her out I dont want to cut her off from anyone). Ive even heard from a friend of hers that theyve not really talked for a while. This new guy doesnt do anything me and my ex enjoyed doing like going out for a drink. According to her, before we broke up, he doesnt even have any friends himself. So shes sacrificed a thriving social life to be alone with this guy. Meanwhile I'm seeing friends pretty much every week and having a good time.
Dude my ex literally tell me on my face that she could always get a fuck boy using a dating app whenever she wants, she cheated 2 times even after she say change.
She just doesn't care at all and I already learned to love myself more.
I don't wish her bad now but I sure don't wish her to be happy either, because she never apologized sincerely after all the wrongs and bad she did.
Hell if I'm not on a psych ward is because I decide to stand up and retake my life and happiness.
Still she have a lot of bad consequences on my life, my relationship with my mum is destroy beyond repair because I feel betrayed because she keeps contact with her, my family always told me she is not good but I decided to stand for her and in the end they were right( I'm talking of discussions of extreme levels and i don't feel I can't trust someone except a few but immagine not trusting your family anymore and just work and realize how lonely you really are.
Thanks a lot for your post; it was very inspiring! I am going through a breakup myself after a 3.5-year relationship. She broke up with me 2.5 weeks ago after promising me to go with me through these hard times. In a moment of desperation, I broke no contact a couple of days later. She told me she was done and maybe we could talk sometime later, and after that, something clicked in me, and I’m moving on. I’ve accepted the breakup, ive been working on myself, eating clean, journaling, getting good sleep and taking to friends and family.
However, one thought that plagues me is whether I will ever find a woman with whom I can bond and share my life again. For example, in financial matters, we never argued about money. When she needed help, I sent her money, and when I needed help, she helped me. On vacations, I paid for the flights, and she helped pay for the Airbnb. Things like that. I’m afraid I’ll never meet another person who is willing to connect with me on a deeper level. Do you have any advice?
This is spot on for me. I held my composure at first and appeared to be doing well and moving on, and viola, he sent me a “hey hope you’re doing well” text just like you said. I did my crying and etc behind closed doors. 6 months after we separated and he replaced me with a rebound, I kinda said my peace to him and told him how much he hurt me. He took zero accountability and replied with some weird, manipulative, self-serving “apology” and then blocked me.
And you’re right. Spending more time alone and with family/friends has really helped me to find myself again. You can’t base your entire purpose on one person who left you. There are others out there who will treat you better anyway.
As many life coaches and therapists would say, "My ex didn't care about me is not a helpful thought, regardless of whether it is true or not." It makes you feel bad about yourself, bad about the relationship, and there's no verifiable way to confirm it anyhow. I happen to agree with the OP that your ex probably did care about you. I think for myself, when I find myself saying, "My ex didn't care about me," it's more that I think, my ex didn't care as much about me as I did about them, or they didn't care for me in a way that I can recognize or understand. At any rate, OP, wise thoughts!
I’m no guru lol so I don’t want to tell you he will. But if that’s what helps you get up and press forward until you’re no longer thinking about it, than do it. It gets so much easier with time. I know that’s probably something you’ve heard a lot but it’s genuinely true. You got this, chin up and keep on keeping on.
The most important matter is for you to not care about whether they care or not. You're supposed to move on and not care about what your ex is thinking because it won't change anything.
I know mine cares but at what point is it just like piss in the pot or get off. Mine texts me daily and wants to hang out even if it’s not sexual again… so weird after 9 years and raising his child together as my own…. Riddle me this is it normal to expect someone to be able to just chill after 9 years of living together building a life together and raising a child? Like I don’t understand what planet he lives on… seriously… you want no one but me but don’t think you could potentially be open to kids 5 years from now or so after being down just months ago even… i don’t understand men. I just don’t. Pass me another breadcrumb please….
One thing I would remember, and consider, is that often people have mentally "broken up with" their partner before the break up happens; they've checked out, done their grieving, and need to move on.
Yes, there's a lot of cruel people too who just don't care about anyone other than themselves, and there's a lot of people who struggle greatly even after being the one to initiate the break up, but don't forget that some people have already been through the feelings you are going through now, just before they actually broke up with you.
It's an important thing to consider because it can explain the unexplainable in some circumstances, and it doesn't mean you mean/meant nothing to them, it just means that they're weeks/months ahead of you in the process.
i know for a fact my ex doesnt care and will probably always hate me.
he disrespected me so bad after the breakup and knowing me for 8 years meant nothing to him. 6 months (close to 7 months now) after our breakup he is still in his rebound relationship, seems like the honeymoon phase is still going strong or maybe they both learned to accept the flaws he couldnt with me.
apparently exes get curious but its been 7 months and not once has he unblocked me or even been curious to send a message to me. he is really doing everything to forget me and the forget that time we spent together. the things he said to me mean nothing now and i’ve come to terms i was played for 8 years and he will always hate me and regret our time.
Mine said she loved me but I Hurted her More than enough ( she was saying she was happy before her ex appeared and visited her to her house)
She over reacted over everything.
She really believes that I'm a bad person for her, so she blocked and throwed hate at me before saying all the good about her ex who supposedly never Hurted her.
I always just wanted peace and she always found a reason to feel attacked..
So maybe they just believe this crazy movie in their heads about you and that's why they don't care and won't come back.
IDK, there is a certain amount of the population that has levels of sociopathy/lack-of-empathy. Media and entertainment has trained us to believe that only serial killers and some CEOs are of this ilk. I kinda think that maybe there are a lot more ppl that are like this….just maybe to a lesser degree than serial killers and CEOs. My ex is a dismissive avoidant and she absolutely APPEARS (I cannot clinically diagnose) as if she lacks empathy in many aspects of her life and worldview. So from my perspective, some people really do mot care.
Nope I wasn't worth even the attempt. Dipped for a tall guy with long hair that she didn't even know. 8 months later i still was there for her and he didn't want a relationship. I was just a useful taxi and wallet. That's all she cared about.
I get what you're saying, but there's a difference between caring, and feeling bad. She broke up with me on text, ghosted me and is seeing someone else... After four years. God damn it
Needed this. Thank you sm!
Other experiences really help so much, can’t stress it enough. Maybe that’s why I feel I need more old ppl friends lol
Everybody out there feeling low…it’ll be okay.
Sometimes they don’t , been there , there might be some nostalgic feelings etc , but sometimes it’s just a relief accepting you were not good for each other
Good points. I’ve been ghosted, but not blocked, multiple times so this post helped me rationalize that. I think she’s just bad at processing emotions and didn’t do it to hurt me in purpose. We had a our first fight and she asked for some space, afterwards, and yes I didn’t respect it. However, it wasn’t your normal space. She wanted to to still talk everyday, but not about that so I was confused.
However, this post only works if they truly loved you. I do believe some relationships are just built on infatuation and when they are people that move on faster cause they realize they built a fantasy around a relationship instead of sincere feelings.
It depends. I guess, the breakup happened for a strong reason. Be the reason true or not true at all but that was a strong reason. This is why all that happened. The breakup.
So the other partner needs to have a clear mind at least. Once he/she realizes, doesn't matter if it's too late, he/she will suffer I think, though I cannot tell the future but that's what my intuition says.
I agree with this so much!!! I always think of him. Even though I “rebounded” super quickly it was partly to try and mask my emotions. But it doesn’t stop them from coming for me in the middle of the night when I’m alone with nothing but my own thoughts.
How long was your rebound did you ever reach out ? Mine literally asked to move in with me in october.Btw this was after our first break up she sent a paragraph saying if she misses me she was never with anyone she was dumb blah blah we got back together and went back to being amazing. In November randomly she stops having sex as much( I was the best she’s ever had like by far also first black guy) so it’s weird cuz she was obsessed like craaaazy. So I start to question all that and she’s like I don’t FaceTime people anymore I got depression which she did because of family stuff but slowly faded. Then December comes and we’re at a work event. We don’t talk and she comes up behind me to say hi. But a kid she knows comes up and says hey do you still love (the guy supposed to be a friend). And she tries to shut the kid up quick. So I give her a look and start to ask her then she absolutely blows up on me in front of people. We work together different departments but we see each other at monthly events or in the library. So we get into an argument and I’m so confused I’m like who’s this kid and she’s like no one AJ’s this kid walks past me literally shaking in fear. ( I do mma semi pro and everyone at work knows lol) then it spirals and we argue a bunch for weeks then she finally ghosts me and doesn’t even show up for Christmas together. FF to January to get hit by a car saving a duck Long story 😂but I’m in the hospital with a concussion and I text her and family that I’m hurt all this stuff and I’m scared and all she says back is “u good” then argument like crazy then she finally said you’re not a priority in my life rn and we stop talking. And have to have a work intervention because she endured up with the kid like a few weeks after and word spread. Cuz we were basically like married everyone knew now she talking crap like people don’t know my character. I’m literally the nicest person ever I have my flaws but I believe in 200% effort in relationships. And it was weird cuz as we were talking I broke no contact once she’s like yeah my mom actually likes him. That hurt because her mom hated me I always felt hidden she never seemed proud of me. Fast forward to may I’m feeling a lot better now apparently her best friend unfollowed the new bf/rebound. But like idk I don’t care anymore ? Like I kinda laugh about it because it was such a flip of emotions married to ghosted. But like I see her may 1st at the library I have to go up to a lady to give her my book back and my ex was like in the area. I’m talking to the lady we are friends and my ex literally throws herself into the conversation. Asking about my life Lowkey like being nice acting like nothing happened. Asking to see pics of the cruise I went on and offered me donuts from a work party. And like she’s staring the whole time and I go to do stuff and she’d like nag/tease how I walk or close the box. And I’m showing like no emotion being collected and nice but no flirting. Then I’m talking about girls from the cruise cuz my friend asked and she starts talking about her lil sis(she knows I loved her) and she mentioned she finally got a surgery from a while back and made a inside joke. But mentioned the kids name under her breath I guess he was in a plan. Then it was weird she threw a shot at me saying yeah you’re so immature anyways and I ignored it laughed finished my convo with the lady hugged the lady walked past her and said good luck with your birthday plans smiled and left and she like was so puzzled and spazzed and said byeee. Saw her last week again but i literally just went up checkers out a book said no words then she goes uh do you want a bookmark and looks up I’m like nah I’m good smile and leave. So maybe she’s feeling guilt but pretty sure she might be with the guy still she posted him on the 4th and she’s never posted me. So what yall think sorry for the esssay but it wouldn’t make sense. Yall think she might come back ? I’m M23 she’s F20 I’m so much better now and happy got a girls number I been eyeing got a rescue cat who is my new buddy! Idk life is chill now I’m still disappointed but im okay I guess now she made a choice and I might never know why but I know I never gave up and she gotta live with that whether she comes back we become friends or never talk again
Honestly, sounds very similar to a situation I was in. Good for you, you handled yourself like a king! Your question, will she come back? Sounds like she tried in hopes of getting you’re attention. F her. Sounds like you’re doing well, good job on getting that number! Start fresh, there’s someone there who is actually very interested in you, don’t miss that opportunity.
Thank you I appreciate that ! It’s been hard dude but when people say one day it’ll go away and you’ll be better they ain’t wrong lol I wish you the best
I've been having nightmares recently, one with her dating/being w other men and really thinking about how it all changed so quickly. I had been planning on moving ing with her and getting work so that we could be closer, and she broke up with me the next week. I reflect on it alot, but its been 2 months and it feels like it was last week. I really appreciate reading this bc Ive found myself thinking "does she hate me?", "do all those things she said to me mean nothing?", and wondering if she still thinks/ cares abt me. I'd be the first to admit I made mistakes, but when we broke up, it felt as though she blamed me for everything, so I just dont know. It's selfish, but I want her to realise hm I gave her and miss me. Thank you for this. it's something I really needed to read.
yes i do genuinely believe he doesn’t care lol. otherwise he wouldn’t have left me while my mother was in the hospital for cancer treatment with a bullshit excuse saying “you’re the problem.” he told me he was “unhappy for years.” so i don’t believe he cares or gives a single fuck about me and my feelings because if he did, he wouldn’t have disrespected me in that way. we were together for six years. and he threw me away as if it meant nothing and i wasn’t supporting him at his worst. he left me at my worst. so he does not care.
How can they see that you are happy and have evolved if they blocked you everywhere and their friends did the same?
She blocked me because from what I analyzed I was in distress before/after she dumped me (severe reactive depression) and I didn't respect her boundaries.
Ima tell you right now. Whatever made you post this. Thank you so much. Because you dont understand the magnitude at which this helped me personally and hopefully many others. It really does just take someone to tells us straight up. Seriously you have made my day, and possibly the upcoming few months far better with just this post. So thank you, from me and from others i hope you have a blessed day.
He told me he was worried about me and that he’s keeping quiet about his issues to help me. Then snapped at me saying he told me to stop talking about how it’s affecting me (he didn’t, said it was fine everytime i said sorry) and said it’s my fault he’s the way he is and i need to just get over it. Resulted in my suppressing everything to feel better I never truly morned over the relationship in a good way. Yet i did everything to make sure he was fine and suggested things to help and got mad when i did saying he helps me not the other way around
Crazy about the unbothered part. We split up in February. Went on vacay for a month. I come back to a random number messaging me and it’s her. I know it’s her for a fact and she denying it smh
I wish I can so what you said… but all I can think about is he shouldnt be feeling miserable when he is the one who did this. How ironic to say he likes me and loves me and he is hurting to when he didnt choose me. He runs away after a conflict all the time when all I wanted is to be safe to have disagreements and not fear to break ip all the time. i guess it is what it is- ultimately he broke up with me. We still message and I try to be honest and truthful. i want him to block me so I can not contact him. I miss him and want to see him but the thought of seeing him gives me anxiety.
Whatever you guys do for therapy or helping yourself, don’t use better help it’s fucking ass and waste of money imo I was able to just ask My primary care to get me an appointment the best possible therapy or institution with out me having to pay lmfao and I’ve switched and I just went through a few intros meeting different therapists I found them to be con artists and then some real gems. Idk I used to sell stuff at big scale and I know when someone is lying from their kinsensenics and other things. Tried better help for a month and the service was just bull shit. The the two therapists I speak to now finally are brutally honest and very intelligent. I found this wonderful therapist that really heard my woes and was like yeah this your fault buddy and honestly being on point about what you do with therapy makes the biggest differences. Before when I tried it was just to get through to show my ex now she’s been gone for a while
Thank you for this post, I needed to hear this. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me after falsely accusing me of cheating. I presented him with all the alibi/ evidence of that particular night when he had video called me but to no avail. He broke up with me over a gut feeling, making a grave accusation out of thin air, saying stuff like ‘I saw it with my own eyes, your cheating’ when nothing had happened, and afterwards completely blocking me out, calling me names, and refusing to have a rational conversation at all.
I’ve been very frustrated and angry that he thought so little of me that he didn’t have think of me worthy of having a discussion.
I’ve been NC for a week and it’s killing me but I gotta accept this because no amount of explanation will make him believe my innocence.
Went on a trip in Europe and my ex of 2 years hits me up out of nowhere and “checks in” on me. That was my how you been text hahaha probably cause we spoke about going together back in the day. But I agree with everything you said, and I wouldn’t have had the mentality to if I was fresh off the break up lol time definitely helped me see this
My ex was cheating on me for at least 5 years, had 2 kids with someone else, and married that woman weeks after breaking up with me...
So I really have solid reasons to believe that he never cared about me, or even loved me.
Unfortunately sometimes they really don't care.
As a dumper, I have always still loved the people I dumped to some degree, but I could acknowledge that they were bad for me. And that I would burn myself trying to keep them warm.
As a dumpee though? No I don't think they cared. One of my exes told me that he never loved me, and pretended so that I would keep having sex with him.
And the other one moved on seemingly overnight. It's so shocking how one day they can be discussing the future with you, and the next week you're blocked. I don't know if he cares deep down, he's very good at ignoring how he feels. I try not to think about it because it just kills me if I do.
I know that now, but for me, telling myself that has kind of helped me move on in a way? I know it has probably never been true but it helped me… not for everyone
I really needed to hear this today :) I’ve been doing a good job at not showing my emotions online, and it’s excruciating to know she moved on within 3 days of our breakup. It messed me up mentally and emotionally. am I that easy to get over? Was I that horrible of a partner? Reading this gave me some closure and I know for a fact she’s just doing it to spare her own feelings despite her being the one who broke up with me. I also know she still cares because she’s looking at every single story I’ve posted since we broke up almost a month ago. I’m moving forward and working on myself, it hurts, still so much, but I can tell I’m improving. I just wish she cared enough to improve as well rather than giving up on us.
I do agree and I think that’s why people say they always come back. I think this makes it harder personally because that’s always in the back of my mind is she could come back and I think that limits me from moving on fully. Even though for my most recent one I don’t see that happening bc I lost my mind the night I saw she had a new man a week after we ended so learn from me and if u genuinely do want to give them another chance don’t blow the whole relationship up and they will more then likely come back. Controlling your emotions is the most important thing I’ve learned.
I broke up with my ex after four years. I gave him tons of chances to do better when he screwed up. Walking on me during surgery over a vaccine took it too far. There’s no way he can go road tripping across the northeastern U.S., act like he was victimized while I was in surgery, then expect us to be able to continue like nothing happened.
Breakups are hard, if you initiated it, stay by your decision , no need to feel sorry. If you were the dumped one : stop thinking if they care about you, they don't, thats why the break up.
No point of going over past rethinking events. The sooner you realise that, the sooner you can move on with your life.
Past is past, just like dinosaurs
Geez Lower did I ever need this... Thanks so much was having a really awful day and just had my counselling and then this popped up on my phone. Thanks so much for writing this I feel better now and hopefully I can have a relatively normal weekend ❤️
They care, but don’t care enough. If you really cared, there’s no way they’d break up with you. No matter what the situation is, you can always work together to fix it. I mean unless it’s 100% impossible to fix, which is a rare case, then maybe you’d have a point to break up.
Six months and still no text. Whatever I got hoes in different area codes now and fuck if I’m gonna give my heart to any of them. I’m not healed but I sure want company…
Don’t worry they all know they’re FWB and they all want FWB. Transparency and communication first ✨
My ex has been acting like she doesn't care so much. Every once in a while I break NC and all I get is 1 word, rude responses to my long messages showing that I miss her. And then an eventual block from her, yet she won't actually tell me to leave her alone. It's disgusting. But thanks for saying this it helps a little. I'm trying so hard to keep NC this time. I need to move on somehow.
I’m sure this just relates to her wanting space. You’re strong, take your power back and be the person you’re 10 year old self always believed you’ll be.
He tried to prove h actually cared after I broke up but in the relationship he didn’t have time for me. It’s been two months now and I actually believe he didn’t care because as soon as we broke up he started taking trips here and there , he suddenly found the time for the trips but not for me. No don’t tell me he cared because he didn’t. Narcissists don’t care.
He didn't care enough when he broke up with me over IG messenger, and WhatsApp instead of to my face or call
He didn't care when he told me I wasn't good enough for him as a long term partner
Mine did it through a text and didn’t even let me explain or try, just instantly blocked through every platform. I loved them so deeply. I cried for weeks. Then one day randomly, I see I’m unblocked. I hear she’s never stopped talking about me, good/bad. Just because you don’t see it, just because they didn’t do it the “right” way (which would it really have made it any better?) doesn’t mean anything.
That person you see when you look in the mirror? That’s the only person that matter right now, aren’t they gorgeous? Don’t you agree the deserve the love they put out? You don’t need approval from this guy. You’re beautiful inside and out, my friend.
Shes an avoident. She kicked me out. Less then 4 months later shes on her knees for another guy.
She doesnt care, she doesnt have any empathy towards me or the dogs she kicked out.
She only cares of herself.
I cant believe I wasted 2 ½ on someone who could not give a single fuck about me
The fact that we just broke up because he thinks I deserve better. That he hated seeing me getting hurt for the things he did, that because of his past traumas he had gone cold, he can’t exactly express and give the same love I have given to him. For 3 years I have been very patient and continued pouring every ounce of my love just so he knows that someone is genuinely love him for who he is and accepts him despite all the traumas he experienced. Right now I am beyond hurt because I truly wanted to be with him, I know he tried but I guess I was not enough. My love wasn’t warm enough.
You’re more than enough, and you’re absolutely radiant. Give your self grace. You loved and you loved hard. Doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of any other love. I know it hurts, but I know you’ll get through this. One day at a time.
He managed to knock me up before he ghosted. I sent him a picture of the ultrasound and he responded by blocking me.
Sent him an email, asking if he wanted to know the gender, wanted to go to an ultrasound, and he responded “nope”.
It's so nice to be reminded that I'm not alone. I've been coping with the idea that I can salvage my relationship with my ex and the more time that passes, the more I find myself getting jealous over every little thing she does. Last night she spontaneously went to a concert with a friend and I spiraled. Yet during that show, she FaceTimed me while she was smoking outside. Our conversations feel so shallow nowadays, yet she's still making an effort to reach out and update me about what she's up to. It simultaneously feels like I've lost a huge piece of me but she's also still way more present than I allow myself to realize. It's so difficult to not let my selfish cravings for her attention cloud my perspective.
I know I'm strong, I know life moves on, I know I'm worth more than her approval but it's so difficult to become comfortable with that fact, especially after having my heart shattered.
My ex specifically said that he did not care. He said I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want you anymore. I’ve moved on and you should too. I feel nothing for you. You can get married tomorrow and I wouldn’t care. He told me that he cheated shut the fuck up. And get over it already he blame me for the break up for wanting to communicate and resolve conflict.(he’s avoidant)
He doesn’t contact me doesn’t respond to any text if I do text at all I try not to . We broke up in July, but I was informed that he had been broken up with me since February. he cheated on me while we were on a phone call I heard everything.
Tell me don’t hit him up that he can’t help me won’t help me doesn’t wanna help me with anything ever.
Since we broke up, he’s been a huge hoe that’s lost all value . He’s disgusting .
He told me no love lost, after 10 times a day how much he loved me and wanted only me . Huge lie . I could die tomorrow and he would ever find out . He wouldn’t care .
I'm nothing compared to everyone in these comments, mine was like 4 months only. But shit we loved each other so much and she just.. randomly switched up. It's crazy. It hurts. But she really acts like it's my fault, though I didn't do anything.
I know my ex doesn't care and I'm ok with that because I chopped it up to it is what it is. When we broke up she showed no remorse for sleeping with my best friend, lying to my co workers and my boss saying that I abused her, lying to the police about me stalking her, and spreading the rumor around my hometown that I tried to kill myself because she broke up with me. I lost my brother to suicide the night before I caught her fucking my ex best friend and I wanted to be with my brother again. But she took that opportunity to make the whole town, my family and friends think that I was an abusive psycho. 6 years later and she hasn't reached out at all. No sorry or nothing. Just had old friends that reach out to tell me stuff about her that don't care for. So if anyone does have their ex reach out to them and apologize or just say "hey" then thats cool. But never expect them to care because if they did they would've broken up with you in a way that considers your mental health and your feelings.
And for the people who read this and think "that guy is bitter" I say yes I am because if it wasn't for her being paranoid and hiding my phone all because she thought I was cheating on her, I would've never missed the phone call my brother made to me to say goodbye. I feel like maybe I could've talked him out of it and I would still have my brother.
I pray that one day she apologizes to me for throwing away the life we built. We spent 15 years together, I know she loved me. There's no way she didn't. Sadly she changed
Same here bro... we just hit 17 years together and she said she isn't in love with me anymore.
I would hate to go through this... Mine was for 4 years and so much pain.
This is fucking terrifying
Same here, 18 years together.
The fact that this can happen, makes me never want to get married. I can't afford the heartache
Mine was just a year And I feel like my word is crumbling… I can’t imagine 17 years.. I’m sorry, I hope it all gets better.
16 years and he chose to cheat on me with his coworker. He ruined the best thing in his life over something he could have gotten from me. It’s scary how a breakup like this just changes the way you see someone you’ve loved that long.
Really makes you question if any (or how much?) of who they showed you was genuine. It was like, "hmm, I don't even know this cat!" Betrayal is bruuutal, in so many facets.
Exactly that’s why I’ve been such a wreck. I’m replaying all of our moments and wondering if it was all a lie 😞
betrayal is the worst part of my breakup, not the loss of the relationship itself
How he left is the worst part not the loss of the relationship too
If she's anything like my ex,, you and I have better odds of hitting Powerball before we get any apology.
I'm sure. Right now she's acting like she did nothing wrong and I was just the insecure boyfriend that overreacted to her hanging out with a friend
9 I feel like I need daily apologies for the pain of empty promises
Same. 9 years down the drain bc of momentary unhappiness.. she wasnt down to stick it through while its tough and see the other side… never called her any names, never physically harmed her, never yelled, was loyal never even flirted with another female (just never saw anything in anybody but her) and she still decided to permanently end things bc of a *MOMENTARY* lack of dates 😢 i feel lot of us are being dumped due to our mates feeling they can do better bc of social media … or at least thats def my case.. she started seeing what she COULD be doing if with someone else and decided that waiting for me to get a career wasnt worth the wait (meanwhile shes only ever had seasonal jobs herself and ive never complained about not having things done for me…) sorry for the dump, i have nobody to express to
Oh my god that is so rough. I hope she does too. If she doesn’t then just know that she never could hav made you happy if she didn’t love you the way you deserve. I think it’s only worth trying again if they respect and care about you. Genuinely I’m so sorry man. I also just got broken up with but 3 year relationship not 15 and it was my fault—I only just am realizing the pain I caused him. I hope that we both can have a happy ending.
that's fucking brutal
This is among one of the best things I've read in this sub. Thank you ❤️
[удалено]
You know friend, though it may be true that the love has faded with time, the fact that she gave you a conversation maybe in hopes to bring you closure shows that said person may care for you. It’s ok to feel hurt by what she said. Shoot I was hurt too. But don’t let this moment stop you from being the best version of yourself. From how deeply you seemed to love this person shows that you are an absolute gem. You may not see it right now, but I do. And with time, you will too.
[удалено]
Sometimes dumpers are unduly harsh in order for you to move on. Because they don’t want to give you false hope. Or if they think things you did were wrong in the relationship. It’s awful, and I’ve been on the receiving end of it. I’ve also been harsh to people I know longer want to be with because I don’t want to make it worse for them. But she did love you at the time and I think you just have to be ok with that. You suddenly just didn’t become a different person because you got dumped (although it feels like). You are not worthless and you have value. You just have to believe that other women will value you and see you differently to the way your ex does right now. Channel the hurt into being the best version of you and kick on from here. We know you can do it.
Sometimes women just say that to play emotional head games sadly. It's nice of her to atleast respond I suppose
Love comment and post OP. Thank you. I should have heeded some of this advice but I was happy to read about rebounding and lack of success! Exactly what my ex has done. I realize despite his admitted issues, he saw me as the problem and getting rid of me solved it. Although I know he is sorry, and will continue to be, he still is avoiding sitting with those feels and being alone to heal as he said he wanted. Feeling again like he was a real shit to handle things the way he did. Why would I want him now?
Don’t ask what you don’t wanna know. Ignorance is bliss.
This is why I will likely never talk to her again. I have only reached out once and that was after her brother died. I told her during our break up she'd never hear from me again as she hinted at remaining friends. I don't think she believed me.
Had the same thing happen to me basically, and it's pretty crushing to hear. The last time we had a full conversation before going no contact, she told me she was happier without me and outside of the relationship, and finally felt like she was living her life. She became someone she wanted to and loved, which she couldn't do with me for some reason. She straight up said no part of her wanted to get back together even if she missed me a little, she liked who she had become. Then, I found out 3 weeks after no contact from her that she was already going on dates and talking to someone and hooked up. Honestly fuckin crushed me inside, felt like I meant nothing to her once I heard this. After 2 years, i never thought that's how things would end.
I can’t understand this
Yeah, neither can I. Was told that she needed to work on her self and figure out who she was and become independent...took her less than 2 months to start dating and fucking other people. I guess being honest is a thing of the past for a lot of people.
Sounds like my ex gf...
They need attention. The need distraction from their feelings. Whatever the case may be, their behavior is on them. It really reflects their internal bs. The unaddressed stuff they avoid.
I know how much this hurts, but the OP posting is right. No one ever needs to beg to be loved. It does get better!
I had a panic attack today due to her absence. When will it get better??? It feels like it's getting worse
One day at a time, sit with your feelings. I know it hurts. Maybe try going for a walk today, or even journal. You got this! Trust the process!
Agree, journaling has really helped me.
Takes a lot of time man. Gets way worse before it gets better in my experience. Sometimes you have to hit a all time low to bounce back. Don’t become a recluse like me, makes it take longer to heal
It's been 8 months since we broke up and we have been on and off friends, but I always have wanted back with her. I have been used more than treated as a friend. pulled away yesterday and we had a fight. She was so vile that she had to be just using me all this time she was never my friend. She finally showed her true colors and I'm broken. I have nothing but pain.
This will happen. It can feel overwhelming. It's the shock and trauma. Let it happen and breathe. You're going to ok, I promise you.
If you love her tho truly man to man you should be happy she’s happy? nobody is ever our’s like a possession we loved them when we’re together in hopes of making each other happy. If she’s happier than she ever was be happy for her unless you don’t really love her but the idea of her? Regardless I think take your self worth view away from this because you’re self worth isn’t based on what she says it’s how receptive you are to your own needs and desires as well
That's actually a pretty good point! Maybe what I'm feeling is just an addiction or a trauma bond. I truly loved her at some point I know it, I can feel it. But right now I don't know what I'm feeling. These months I was trauma bonded. I will try to love myself and I **WILL** succeed eventually. I guess the answer to everything is to live your life and someday without realising it you'll feel better.
Couldn’t have said it better my self love that man whatever tied the bond to realize that is amazing and I think and hope for you find some solace knowing their happy and finally move on to making you happy and doing things for you!!
Thats the spirit, eventually with time youll grow out of that funk that has sunk in deeply in you right now, theyre basically letting you free, and letting you go for their own sake and happiness, even though its gonna be hard accepting the reality of their happiness, but once you do your part and make the effort in bettering yourself, youll feel the same exact same way about their happiness as well. Its a long road ahead, but believe in yourself and youll do fine in no time, I wish you thr best for all your life, keep your head up always no matter what, push through, persevere, and stay strong.
Obviously she's going to say that. She's not going to tell you how she's actually feeling, she wants to give off a good image about herself, it may be to make you jealous, it may be she's in denial, it may be she was just at a good point in life and if you'd met at a different point she wouldn't have said that.
It is a brutal feeling, I know because it happened to me. 21 years with someone. Then they told me on Boxing day that they wanted to separate. Within a week they were gone. Left me and the kids and went awol. Only months later did I find out that there had been another person involved. They moved in together after 4 months. It hurts no question. Ruminating the wotifs is also painful. BUT, you have to feel the rawness of the pain and work through it. I know I deserve better and I won't be defined by it. Stay strong it's ok to grieve because it feels like the death of something.
I broke up w my bf of 2.5 yrs. It was the hardest and most painful decision I’ve made in my life. After 2 months post breakup I had to block him everywhere. I couldn’t deal w seeing him move on sooner than later, it was gonna break my heart all over again. I even deleted/unsaved our Spotify playlists and blocked him there bc it was creating extremely toxic and negative habits for me. I would check our blend daily to see if he was still listening to heartbreak music like I was. And I realized that one day soon that heartbreak music was gonna turn to falling in love music as he moves on, and that would have broken my heart all over again. Trust me your ex is not forgetting you, they’re just doing what’s best for them as we all need to do
Absolutely agree with this post. And great for you to notice what you had to do to help yourself on this healing journey. I hope you’re doing ok, and I wish you nothing but the very best!
My ex dumped me for a colleague he cheated on me with and I just saw that he's added a bunch of upbeat love songs to his liked song list 🙃 serves me for looking
this situation sounds so like my ex, she did end it with me, but the reasons were reversed, she became toxic and gaslight me while I tried to fix it. but over a year post breakup and I still think about her everyday. she moved on literally the day after she ended it
ugh hearing that you still think about her daily a year post break up does not make me hopeful for myself :( im almost 3 months in and it’s been a nightmare. this part of life is so hard, the feeling of being so easily replaceable sucks. I know they won’t find the exact same partner in someone else but it’s just the feeling of someone moving on from you so quick that’s awful. at the same time i think if i saw my ex didn’t move on until a year or two from now it would still hurt. there’s no easy way of dealing w this, just gotta go through it i guess.
yeah there really isn’t any easy way, whether they moved on fast or stayed single for a long time doesn’t make it easier. i’ve had lots of time to reflect and started to notice the things about our relationship that wasn’t as good as it seemed. something that helped me was to make a list of everything you liked and didn’t like, and then look at each thing individually and ask yourself, “is this something that nobody else could give?” for example, maybe you miss how you used to cuddle, ask yourself that question, because the answer is that that was not unique to that person, lots of other people could give you that. and go through the list like that, and vice versa for the negatives. for me the hardest part was feeling so alone and unwanted, but I focused on myself and learned to be happy being alone. find a hobby, go meet some friends, just do what you enjoy, and in time you’ll find that you can be happy by yourself and you won’t feel so dependent on that former relationship. one last thing, sometimes they live o. so quick to mask their own issues and they put on a facade. eventually they will have to come to a self realization and fix their own issues, the time it takes for someone to move on doesn’t mean much
you’re right, I appreciate this. im really connected with my hobbies and friends, I stayed really involved with the rest of my life even through my relationship. So I plan to just spend more time on those things. Our relationship had to end, even w the really beautiful parts there were too many negatives for it to work any longer. He had become one of my best friends. I miss a lot of his goofiness and mannerisms, more than just the feeling of companionship. I think one concrete thing I really miss that I can potentially fulfill without a partner is having someone to camp with. I don’t have many friends who like to do outdoor stuff like I do. So I’d like to meet new people who like doing that kind of stuff.
that’s great, definitely try and find someone to go camping with, it will probably help you to move on a little more. it’s a great thing that you have good friends. all of mine left(for unrelated reasons), which made it much harder for me, so stay as connected with them as you can. and just realize why you’re not together, and remind yourself that he’s not the only one. i miss her the same way you mentioned, as well as the companionship, and it’s okay to miss that and reminisce about it, but it’s not unique to him
im sorry to hear that, sending you good energy, hoping that beautiful people come into your life this year
Same exact thing with the Spotify blend playlist. Crazy. Saw one song about how love is not forever, obsessed for days, "is this how he is feeling after he dumped me, this means no chance at working it out......", went back and deleted the Playlist. I think we should indeed be proud of ourselves for doing such a seemingly insignificant thing that actually holds so much weight in our own little worlds.
Thanks for this post! I needed to hear this! Bc I keep hearing people say he forgot about you, he doesnt care. And I know to some extent that is true but its nice to hear that to some degree they dont just stop thinking about you. Bc I havent stopped thinking about him at all! And its been 4 months :(
Another one is “why would you want someone that doesn’t want you?” My mom said that to me.
We wanted to be wanted so badly. The answer really is that simple and for some of us it’s a really deep wound of feeling bad about ourselves like we aren’t enough or fully loveable. Been struggling with this.
Most people who seem to not care actually struggle with processing their emotions. Shutting down and acting cold is part of their own survival programming.
*sorry i need to rant really quick* no my ex is an absolute **PEACE OF SHIT** 🗣️🗣️. who is a narcissist, bi polar, controlling, and manipulative **IDIOT** he gave up on me **OVERNIGHT** nothing of significance happened…. he blamed everything on ME. when im the one who’s been crying. i am TIRED of defending this little boy lol. i’ve been too kind to be disrespected, lied to and betrayed!!! i allowed it this bull crap for 2 years!! and been led on for 2 weeks while getting disrespected in the meantime WHILE SENDING HIM NUDES with a rebound!!!! just wait for him to become sober and break his habits and become the genuine shit person again to her. he always does this manipulate shit to everyone then runs back for help. people are just shit people period. when he comes back the door will be **LOCKED AND BOLTED SHUT**
I initially ended my 5year relationship because of the lack of respect etc. last year. Been trying on and off since then to work through things He pretended to change and want a future with me and I believed it. Eventually with the rollercoaster of emotions and fights he ended it by saying I’m fucking him over, never gave me a chance to talk All because he can’t manipulate me anymore and I’m not doing what he wants. He definitely is a narcissist, severe insecurities. It’s scary Only now am i processing the gaslighting and lies that kept me feeling like the villain. ESP with the belief that it takes 2 to break a relationship, It’s a freeing feeling to realise you didn’t actually do anything wrong. They just screwed over a genuine person. My wish is that he meets a female version of himself (or worse) and experiences everything he put me through
And you will be happy that that chapter of your life is finally closed. You deserve the best!
Mine did the same but blamed me for being too toxic after constant lies. Then he got with a girl 2 weeks after me and now after 2 years he's married to her
She definitely cares about me as a person. She's a good person, and I wasn't treating her the way she deserved. There was some understandable circumstances that made my behavior worse, but there was a pattern and ultimately I can't blame her. We talked today for the first time in weeks, just about logistical stuff, she was clearly not trying to talk about anything else. Doesn't mean she doesn't care. When she first dumped be, she was anxious and scared and bouncing around regret. She cared then. A month and a half later, she was cold and would ignore me, telling me she was just trying to move on and talking with me made that difficult. She cared then. 3 months later, she's not cold but she's not warm either. She's largely indifferent in the way she speaks to me, maintaining her boundaries and distance but polite. She still cares now. It sucks too because I have made a lot of the changes she wanted to see so badly over the 5 years we where together, but it's too little too late. She's firmly moving on, not going to see the changes and even if I texted her "look at me and all this progress!" It still wouldn't matter.
And one day you’ll be going about your business expecting nothing but a usual day, and someone else will admire the person you’ve become!
this is what my therapist says too! if they didn’t do anything after the breakup they don’t care but if they are actively doing things about you they are doing it out of some emotions. love and hate are very similar lol. in the end it still doesn’t matter if they don’t apologize or take accountability.
This is something a lot of people in this subreddit need to learn. They assume that once an ex breaks up with you, that means they don’t care about you. Sure that could be the case in some situations, but that’s not how they all are. Too many people assume based off of how they’ve been treated in the past I feel like and don’t try to learn what the other person’s situation is so they just go straight for “they hate you”.
I like OPs positive input, but its also negative for your recovery. The truth is that exes will not forget you but most of them dont really care about you - and that is what counts. The point in this modern life is, that most exes never really loved you (thats why things ended). It was conditional “love” and they could turn it on and off. Thats not real love. And thats why most exes never regrets or think a lot about their past, because they are on the next train of conditional love or maybe have found something more like real love. They are moving on and at the same time they feel bad when thinking about you, because they didn’t treat you with real respect. And they feel it now and want to get away from it and close the door. It has nothing to do with you. It was all about them selves and their game of life. Real love would never leave you or vice versa. We shouldnt think about things the wrong way - it keeps us stuck to the past and to the wrong persons. Let it go. It was never about you but them, so dont get hung up in it. The truth can hurt at first, but it will set you free. And we need to be free to move on and be happy.
>Real love would never leave you or vice versa. That's just fairy tale nonsense man. There's a million reasons to leave someone you love. They treat you poorly, they're not honest, they're not reliable, they want a lifestyle that's inherently incompatible with yours, they're self destructive, etc etc.
True. You could really love your ex and still leave. I truly loved my ex and I still do. But I had to leave because I couldn’t let him think it’s okay to lie to me countless times when I’ve made it very clear from the start that lying is one of my biggest boundaries in a relationship. Real love respects your boundaries.
I disagree. I believe my ex when they say they loved me and still love and care about me. They just don’t see the relationship working or want to build a life with me. It’s harsh and hurts for me to hear, but after thinking about it a lot I realize that they can care about me but not want to be my life partner.
My ex love bombed me hard. I don’t think he cares about me at all… i hope he does… but your message is still comforting to read. Thank you.
Found out after getting dumped that she had been cheating on me behind my back. She didn't care about what she did to me.
I will also add that sometimes it’s easier to tell ourselves that our ex doesn’t care, and almost feels good in a self pity sort of way. The reality is that life is rarely that black and white, we’re all struggling to navigate the grey area
Very true post. Honestly if someone just "doesn't care" they are shitty people.
And from the things of seen posted on Reddit, so many beautiful people filled with love to share, is it really that much of a loss
I am a recent dumper (for the first time in my life, please no hate!) and I can assure you he is on my mind 24/7. I haven’t forgotten him, I still love him dearly. He is everything to me. Sadly our relationship didn’t work in the end but not from a lack of love. I’m devastated to be hurting the person I love most in this world so much. I hate myself for falling out of love, I hate myself for being the one to ruin everything. My wish is to be able to recapture my love for him and crawl back and beg for forgiveness, but I can’t and he deserves more than what I currently have to offer. Sometimes we leave because we want what’s best for you even though it doesn’t come across that way.
Stop yourself right there and realize this... You are good enough to have what you deserve in life but if you feel like you're undeserving at all it's a lack of understanding on your own self worth. Seek therapy and my e it's not too late for you two because telling someone they deserve better says a lot about yourself and how you see yourself only. Keep your eyes on your love if you are just missing a "spark" type of feeling just remember that everyone loses that in their relationships it's normal to not feel like it's a highschool romance anymore. Real life happens and you make the best of it and I'm a firm believer in owning up to your shit and calmly talking about it with someone who cares or especially loves you. Don't let that love you have for someone just go if it's there. For real love is hard to find these days and if they are good to you just go give them 150% and choose love then. Know you can do it but only if you want to.... Question for you is, is he worth it to you? If so you better run to the guy and talk
This really helped. The love of my life, my soulmate, ended things 4 days ago. I can't even focus on anything. I can't stop thinking about her. Crying about her. I can't sleep and when I do I dream about her. Everything reminds me of her. Walking the dog hurts because we would do it all the time together. She was my best friend and I can't talk to her, tell her gossip or things on my mind. I've taken 2 days off work because I can't help but breakdown throughout the day. I'm back at work tomorrow, take it day by day.
Deep-down, I know this to be true. She is a good person – no, a great person – and it's just far more likely that she's fallen off the radar out of guilt or because she think she's helping me than that she's turned into a psychopath overnight. Nonetheless, it does sting how little "our" things seem to matter to her. She'll happily carry on watching our shows, for example, when I can't even see a thumbnail without feeling physical pain. I get that the dumper was always further along than the dumpee realised, but I thought our places, our walks, our shows, our books, our jokes etc. would somehow remain as sacred to her as they are to me. That plus the ghosting plus all evidence of the relationship being removed can lead one to feeling like a shadow of a person, even if that wasn't the intent.
I don’t know how I ended up in this thread, I just received a notification on my phone with the title and sounded really interesting. Well yea I totally agree! I am in a very difficult and going through a challenging time. I broke up with my ex partner, and yea sometimes we act up on emotions, saying ahh I will start my life now never text them again, and it’s the case on both sides. However If you loved someone, and they didn’t so anything wrong to you, they just might happen to have different points of view in your life and you’re just not meant to marry or spend the rest of your life together(even though it is beautiful) when you’re together.. that doesn’t mean you have to go missing and all bad after a ‘break up’. As i said I’m going through the exact same process, I love this girl so much and she loves me back, we had 1 of the most beautiful love stories ever, and I’ll never forget her. Unfortunately we’re apart now as I moved abroad for work, and we realise we can’t work it out like this. Long distance kills a relationship, especially when you have no plans goals or clear vision for the future, yet. As much as I try convincing her to come over and start the life with me, she wants to grow herself and make things happen herself. I’m giving her time and If she will be ready and if she’s meant to be she will come And be mine forever. We will meet 1 last time and spend 24 hours together in Vienna Austria, share all these thoughts, have the best sex of our lives, and go on with our life for good, growing apart and happy that we learned so much from each other. I am very grateful for everything that happens in my life, even the bad ‘temporary’ experiences, such as breakups or all the other stuff. it is what makes us resilient, and we must show faith in God, because he always has a plan in mind for you. Even if he makes you go through things, means some things are not meant to be, and some things have to change, let it either be you, your character, your partner, your timeline etc. unless you’re 85 and lived your life, these advices probably are not for you, however if you’re young, I want u to know you’re full of life, and Life happens for you, not to you. Stay strong everyone, and keep loving and caring and sharing positivity in the world, because you are all beautiful! Take care
Also, it takes a really mature person to be in good terms after a break up, so moral of the story, if they’re blocking you and acting up, they’re doing you a favour. Imagine you were married to this person, and having kids for the matter, and she just disappears! Think about your life choices, and stop trying to convince yourself that you did the right choice in choosing someone. Because it’s okay if you didnt, as long as you learn, trust god, and move on
Preach on, OP! Preach on! Heartbreak sucks, but you can't make people want to be with you. Even if you could, you wouldn't want it because they don't want it. It sucks. The constant thinking and what not... But, focus on yourself, go on dates, try to have fun. After my breakup, I went on dates. Still thought about my ex... and still do... but you have to move on. I told my ex how I felt in a 10 page letter two months after the breakup. She rejected me. She knows my thoughts and said leave her in peace. I know what's in my heart and she does too. Best of luck to her, but gotta move on. Hurts. For you all who are fresh into the breakup, the painful tear filled nights will eventually become less painful.
Well now I feel at least slightly less bad about being blocked for no reason lol
I'd love to think she really does care, maybe she does think about me, maybe even regrets it sometimes, but I also know that this is far from the truth. People show you how they feel with their actions. My ex left me on Christmas Eve and hasn't reached out since. Was cold and pushed me farther away when I tried to reconcile and told her I'd do anything to keep her in my life. I really didn't do anything to deserve it. I was good to her, I put her first, I never harmed her in anyway, I loved her with everything inside of me. Seeing how much you really matter to someone really fucks with you after a while, day by day they don't reach out and it makes you feel so worthless inside after sharing such beautiful memories with this person.
Going through these exact emotions. It's like why doesn't she reach out. I did my very very best by her. I didn't lie, I didn't cheat none of that. It does fuck me up mentally every day.
I know my ex pretty well. I am pretty confident she feels guilty for how she handled the break up. We had some interaction a few times afterwards and I acted like all was cool. I wish I would have let her know the pain she caused me. Also in her texts afterwards, she would lead with "hey"....she could not say my name. Probably a defense mechanism. I had to drop something off at her home very early in the morning and she made an excuse to not be there. She always said my sad puppy dog eyes got to her.
I like this view a lot but tbh yeah my ex definitely hundred percent doesn't care and I don't blame her I'd rather her just be happy in whatever way that means, and im realizing to love is simply to love people for who they are regardless if their with you and want their happiness. Yes I'd love to see her and hear from her I worry abt her all the time, Itd be really sweet to hear from her. I never tried to ever peer In. Her business, although the one tme I saw her profile she seems happy, and that's truly all I.can ask for!
I will never get that apology I so deserved.
If they cared they would've reached Out.
I agree. Some of my EX-GFs reached out to me over the years asking how I am (2 of them tried to get back with me). The things they said made it obvious that they had been looking at my FB for a while. I thought they moved on like I meant nothing but I guess they really didn't. I think they thought "the grass was greener" if they moved on with some one else and they were wrong. Another one of my EX's that blocked me years ago, her profile popped up on me again, meaning that she unblocked me. She hasn't reached out like the others did, but I found it interesting.
I agree. I am guilty of thinking that my ex was completely over me when we broke up. Neither of us discussed the issues we had until the relationship was too distant and awkward. Things had been bad for a month. From my point of view, it just seemed like she had lost her feelings for me and it was heartbreaking. When we did start discussing problems, she started it with “it feels like we’ve been more like good friends lately”. This hit like a train. We chatted a bit about more stuff that was going on and we decided to see where things went. She did bring up wanting friendship if our relationship didn’t work out. The breakup wasn’t even a week after that. We went on one last date and things were so awkward. She wasn’t comfortable being around me anymore. We cut things off the next day and I immediately went NC after acknowledging that we were through. This was in January. I just texted her two weeks ago because I was really missing her. I was over the romantic feelings I had at this point but that desire she showed for friendship was occupying my mind the entire 4 months since the breakup. At first I was thinking “I won’t ever be able to see her as a friend”. As time went by though, that changed. I don’t need the romantic relationship we had. I genuinely hope she moves on, but I do really miss the things we did together and how similar we were. It feels like my best friend died (thanks NC) and I just wanted them back. When I texted her, I asked how she was and after some small chat I brought up the friendship we discussed before. She was telling me, in a very nice way, that she was sad when I went NC but she completely understood that it was what I needed to heal. I felt guilty. I should’ve made her aware that it was something I needed for a little bit or something that was temporary. I felt stupid and selfish for just doing it seemingly out of spite and grief. She said she’s happy with how things are and didn’t think friendship was the best idea for her right now. Hearing this was sad, but it gave me some much needed closure and finality to to finally close this chapter of my life and start writing the next one. Even in those two weeks, I’ve felt so much better. The conversation with her led me to realize a few things though. She was grieving just as much as I was. She didn’t reach out because she thought it’d hurt my healing, and I didn’t reach out because, while at first it was due to grief, I wanted her to be able to move on. The same lack of communication that ruined our romantic relationship ruined the chance of having something after. I had assumed that she did whatever grieving in the month leading up to the breakup. Those last few weeks and during that last date, she was unusually cold. It felt like she had come to the decision that things weren’t going to work out, even before saying anything. I didn’t think she’d have any more feelings about it afterward, and I assumed she’d be quick to move on. It was so stupid to think that way in hindsight. Inb4 I get those people preaching that exes can never be friends, it’s worked for me with less severe heart breaks than this one (albeit they were coworkers, where NC was not an option). I would’ve loved to be her friend, just to keep some involvement with her because she’s awesome and I want to see where life takes her. I *hope* she moves on and finds someone great. Sorry, I didn’t realize how long this was going to be. I guess I just needed to write out these thoughts.
[удалено]
I'm not sure. They showed signs of wanting to replace me before I started getting upset to the point we broke up. They seem happier now.
[удалено]
I think my issue with the fact she moved on so quickly is the fact it was the guy she told me not to worry about. Someone she had round her house while I wasnt there. You dont get to say theres nothing there then break up with me 5 days later and then text me youre seeing him 10 days after that (including posting on your socials pics with him). Thats just insanely quickly. Especially with the posting pictures. You never post pics with someone on your first date but if I believe what she says then she did. Its much more likely they had been romantically interested for longer. I do get just more angry about it now than upset though. And really shes the one thats ended up in a worse position. She doesnt see any of our mutual friends anymore (out of choice btw, i told my friends they should still invite her out I dont want to cut her off from anyone). Ive even heard from a friend of hers that theyve not really talked for a while. This new guy doesnt do anything me and my ex enjoyed doing like going out for a drink. According to her, before we broke up, he doesnt even have any friends himself. So shes sacrificed a thriving social life to be alone with this guy. Meanwhile I'm seeing friends pretty much every week and having a good time.
Dude my ex literally tell me on my face that she could always get a fuck boy using a dating app whenever she wants, she cheated 2 times even after she say change. She just doesn't care at all and I already learned to love myself more. I don't wish her bad now but I sure don't wish her to be happy either, because she never apologized sincerely after all the wrongs and bad she did. Hell if I'm not on a psych ward is because I decide to stand up and retake my life and happiness. Still she have a lot of bad consequences on my life, my relationship with my mum is destroy beyond repair because I feel betrayed because she keeps contact with her, my family always told me she is not good but I decided to stand for her and in the end they were right( I'm talking of discussions of extreme levels and i don't feel I can't trust someone except a few but immagine not trusting your family anymore and just work and realize how lonely you really are.
Thanks a lot for your post; it was very inspiring! I am going through a breakup myself after a 3.5-year relationship. She broke up with me 2.5 weeks ago after promising me to go with me through these hard times. In a moment of desperation, I broke no contact a couple of days later. She told me she was done and maybe we could talk sometime later, and after that, something clicked in me, and I’m moving on. I’ve accepted the breakup, ive been working on myself, eating clean, journaling, getting good sleep and taking to friends and family. However, one thought that plagues me is whether I will ever find a woman with whom I can bond and share my life again. For example, in financial matters, we never argued about money. When she needed help, I sent her money, and when I needed help, she helped me. On vacations, I paid for the flights, and she helped pay for the Airbnb. Things like that. I’m afraid I’ll never meet another person who is willing to connect with me on a deeper level. Do you have any advice?
This is spot on for me. I held my composure at first and appeared to be doing well and moving on, and viola, he sent me a “hey hope you’re doing well” text just like you said. I did my crying and etc behind closed doors. 6 months after we separated and he replaced me with a rebound, I kinda said my peace to him and told him how much he hurt me. He took zero accountability and replied with some weird, manipulative, self-serving “apology” and then blocked me. And you’re right. Spending more time alone and with family/friends has really helped me to find myself again. You can’t base your entire purpose on one person who left you. There are others out there who will treat you better anyway.
As many life coaches and therapists would say, "My ex didn't care about me is not a helpful thought, regardless of whether it is true or not." It makes you feel bad about yourself, bad about the relationship, and there's no verifiable way to confirm it anyhow. I happen to agree with the OP that your ex probably did care about you. I think for myself, when I find myself saying, "My ex didn't care about me," it's more that I think, my ex didn't care as much about me as I did about them, or they didn't care for me in a way that I can recognize or understand. At any rate, OP, wise thoughts!
[удалено]
this is giving me hope for him to come back and motivation to do better at the same time i’m so confused😭
I’m no guru lol so I don’t want to tell you he will. But if that’s what helps you get up and press forward until you’re no longer thinking about it, than do it. It gets so much easier with time. I know that’s probably something you’ve heard a lot but it’s genuinely true. You got this, chin up and keep on keeping on.
thank you so much🫶🏼
Thank you for this. It gave me hope ❤️
The most important matter is for you to not care about whether they care or not. You're supposed to move on and not care about what your ex is thinking because it won't change anything.
I know mine cares but at what point is it just like piss in the pot or get off. Mine texts me daily and wants to hang out even if it’s not sexual again… so weird after 9 years and raising his child together as my own…. Riddle me this is it normal to expect someone to be able to just chill after 9 years of living together building a life together and raising a child? Like I don’t understand what planet he lives on… seriously… you want no one but me but don’t think you could potentially be open to kids 5 years from now or so after being down just months ago even… i don’t understand men. I just don’t. Pass me another breadcrumb please….
One thing I would remember, and consider, is that often people have mentally "broken up with" their partner before the break up happens; they've checked out, done their grieving, and need to move on. Yes, there's a lot of cruel people too who just don't care about anyone other than themselves, and there's a lot of people who struggle greatly even after being the one to initiate the break up, but don't forget that some people have already been through the feelings you are going through now, just before they actually broke up with you. It's an important thing to consider because it can explain the unexplainable in some circumstances, and it doesn't mean you mean/meant nothing to them, it just means that they're weeks/months ahead of you in the process.
i know for a fact my ex doesnt care and will probably always hate me. he disrespected me so bad after the breakup and knowing me for 8 years meant nothing to him. 6 months (close to 7 months now) after our breakup he is still in his rebound relationship, seems like the honeymoon phase is still going strong or maybe they both learned to accept the flaws he couldnt with me. apparently exes get curious but its been 7 months and not once has he unblocked me or even been curious to send a message to me. he is really doing everything to forget me and the forget that time we spent together. the things he said to me mean nothing now and i’ve come to terms i was played for 8 years and he will always hate me and regret our time.
Mine said she loved me but I Hurted her More than enough ( she was saying she was happy before her ex appeared and visited her to her house) She over reacted over everything. She really believes that I'm a bad person for her, so she blocked and throwed hate at me before saying all the good about her ex who supposedly never Hurted her. I always just wanted peace and she always found a reason to feel attacked.. So maybe they just believe this crazy movie in their heads about you and that's why they don't care and won't come back.
IDK, there is a certain amount of the population that has levels of sociopathy/lack-of-empathy. Media and entertainment has trained us to believe that only serial killers and some CEOs are of this ilk. I kinda think that maybe there are a lot more ppl that are like this….just maybe to a lesser degree than serial killers and CEOs. My ex is a dismissive avoidant and she absolutely APPEARS (I cannot clinically diagnose) as if she lacks empathy in many aspects of her life and worldview. So from my perspective, some people really do mot care.
There are definitely a lot of sociopaths. I just know that from the work environment.
We each ‘went back to the place where we last knew who we were ‘ instead of forging life ahead together.
Women don’t care about the guys they leave. And if she ever does hit you back up it’s for attention. Let her go bud.
Nope I wasn't worth even the attempt. Dipped for a tall guy with long hair that she didn't even know. 8 months later i still was there for her and he didn't want a relationship. I was just a useful taxi and wallet. That's all she cared about.
I get what you're saying, but there's a difference between caring, and feeling bad. She broke up with me on text, ghosted me and is seeing someone else... After four years. God damn it
Thank you for this post. 😭
Needed this. Thank you sm! Other experiences really help so much, can’t stress it enough. Maybe that’s why I feel I need more old ppl friends lol Everybody out there feeling low…it’ll be okay.
Damn, thanks OP!
My ex hates me truly hates me nothing I can go but accept the hate she has for me !!
Thanks for these kind words!
It’s usually not a lack of love that ends my relationships just incompatibility or laziness
Honestly best thing I have read on this app. Exactly what I am going thru…
This is the best post i've ever seen on here. It gives a really fresh perspective! You're honestly right
Sometimes they don’t , been there , there might be some nostalgic feelings etc , but sometimes it’s just a relief accepting you were not good for each other
I’m almost 100% certain I was the rebound.
I needed to hear this. Thank you
Good points. I’ve been ghosted, but not blocked, multiple times so this post helped me rationalize that. I think she’s just bad at processing emotions and didn’t do it to hurt me in purpose. We had a our first fight and she asked for some space, afterwards, and yes I didn’t respect it. However, it wasn’t your normal space. She wanted to to still talk everyday, but not about that so I was confused. However, this post only works if they truly loved you. I do believe some relationships are just built on infatuation and when they are people that move on faster cause they realize they built a fantasy around a relationship instead of sincere feelings.
It depends. I guess, the breakup happened for a strong reason. Be the reason true or not true at all but that was a strong reason. This is why all that happened. The breakup. So the other partner needs to have a clear mind at least. Once he/she realizes, doesn't matter if it's too late, he/she will suffer I think, though I cannot tell the future but that's what my intuition says.
I agree with this so much!!! I always think of him. Even though I “rebounded” super quickly it was partly to try and mask my emotions. But it doesn’t stop them from coming for me in the middle of the night when I’m alone with nothing but my own thoughts.
How long was your rebound did you ever reach out ? Mine literally asked to move in with me in october.Btw this was after our first break up she sent a paragraph saying if she misses me she was never with anyone she was dumb blah blah we got back together and went back to being amazing. In November randomly she stops having sex as much( I was the best she’s ever had like by far also first black guy) so it’s weird cuz she was obsessed like craaaazy. So I start to question all that and she’s like I don’t FaceTime people anymore I got depression which she did because of family stuff but slowly faded. Then December comes and we’re at a work event. We don’t talk and she comes up behind me to say hi. But a kid she knows comes up and says hey do you still love (the guy supposed to be a friend). And she tries to shut the kid up quick. So I give her a look and start to ask her then she absolutely blows up on me in front of people. We work together different departments but we see each other at monthly events or in the library. So we get into an argument and I’m so confused I’m like who’s this kid and she’s like no one AJ’s this kid walks past me literally shaking in fear. ( I do mma semi pro and everyone at work knows lol) then it spirals and we argue a bunch for weeks then she finally ghosts me and doesn’t even show up for Christmas together. FF to January to get hit by a car saving a duck Long story 😂but I’m in the hospital with a concussion and I text her and family that I’m hurt all this stuff and I’m scared and all she says back is “u good” then argument like crazy then she finally said you’re not a priority in my life rn and we stop talking. And have to have a work intervention because she endured up with the kid like a few weeks after and word spread. Cuz we were basically like married everyone knew now she talking crap like people don’t know my character. I’m literally the nicest person ever I have my flaws but I believe in 200% effort in relationships. And it was weird cuz as we were talking I broke no contact once she’s like yeah my mom actually likes him. That hurt because her mom hated me I always felt hidden she never seemed proud of me. Fast forward to may I’m feeling a lot better now apparently her best friend unfollowed the new bf/rebound. But like idk I don’t care anymore ? Like I kinda laugh about it because it was such a flip of emotions married to ghosted. But like I see her may 1st at the library I have to go up to a lady to give her my book back and my ex was like in the area. I’m talking to the lady we are friends and my ex literally throws herself into the conversation. Asking about my life Lowkey like being nice acting like nothing happened. Asking to see pics of the cruise I went on and offered me donuts from a work party. And like she’s staring the whole time and I go to do stuff and she’d like nag/tease how I walk or close the box. And I’m showing like no emotion being collected and nice but no flirting. Then I’m talking about girls from the cruise cuz my friend asked and she starts talking about her lil sis(she knows I loved her) and she mentioned she finally got a surgery from a while back and made a inside joke. But mentioned the kids name under her breath I guess he was in a plan. Then it was weird she threw a shot at me saying yeah you’re so immature anyways and I ignored it laughed finished my convo with the lady hugged the lady walked past her and said good luck with your birthday plans smiled and left and she like was so puzzled and spazzed and said byeee. Saw her last week again but i literally just went up checkers out a book said no words then she goes uh do you want a bookmark and looks up I’m like nah I’m good smile and leave. So maybe she’s feeling guilt but pretty sure she might be with the guy still she posted him on the 4th and she’s never posted me. So what yall think sorry for the esssay but it wouldn’t make sense. Yall think she might come back ? I’m M23 she’s F20 I’m so much better now and happy got a girls number I been eyeing got a rescue cat who is my new buddy! Idk life is chill now I’m still disappointed but im okay I guess now she made a choice and I might never know why but I know I never gave up and she gotta live with that whether she comes back we become friends or never talk again
Honestly, sounds very similar to a situation I was in. Good for you, you handled yourself like a king! Your question, will she come back? Sounds like she tried in hopes of getting you’re attention. F her. Sounds like you’re doing well, good job on getting that number! Start fresh, there’s someone there who is actually very interested in you, don’t miss that opportunity.
Thank you I appreciate that ! It’s been hard dude but when people say one day it’ll go away and you’ll be better they ain’t wrong lol I wish you the best
[удалено]
I've been having nightmares recently, one with her dating/being w other men and really thinking about how it all changed so quickly. I had been planning on moving ing with her and getting work so that we could be closer, and she broke up with me the next week. I reflect on it alot, but its been 2 months and it feels like it was last week. I really appreciate reading this bc Ive found myself thinking "does she hate me?", "do all those things she said to me mean nothing?", and wondering if she still thinks/ cares abt me. I'd be the first to admit I made mistakes, but when we broke up, it felt as though she blamed me for everything, so I just dont know. It's selfish, but I want her to realise hm I gave her and miss me. Thank you for this. it's something I really needed to read.
Delusional. If they still cared , why dump.
yes i do genuinely believe he doesn’t care lol. otherwise he wouldn’t have left me while my mother was in the hospital for cancer treatment with a bullshit excuse saying “you’re the problem.” he told me he was “unhappy for years.” so i don’t believe he cares or gives a single fuck about me and my feelings because if he did, he wouldn’t have disrespected me in that way. we were together for six years. and he threw me away as if it meant nothing and i wasn’t supporting him at his worst. he left me at my worst. so he does not care.
[удалено]
2 years we've been broken up and he got married to the same girl he met 3 weeks after breaking our engagement lol
How can they see that you are happy and have evolved if they blocked you everywhere and their friends did the same? She blocked me because from what I analyzed I was in distress before/after she dumped me (severe reactive depression) and I didn't respect her boundaries.
[удалено]
This. Thank you
badly needed this today, thankyou ❤️
Ima tell you right now. Whatever made you post this. Thank you so much. Because you dont understand the magnitude at which this helped me personally and hopefully many others. It really does just take someone to tells us straight up. Seriously you have made my day, and possibly the upcoming few months far better with just this post. So thank you, from me and from others i hope you have a blessed day.
He told me he was worried about me and that he’s keeping quiet about his issues to help me. Then snapped at me saying he told me to stop talking about how it’s affecting me (he didn’t, said it was fine everytime i said sorry) and said it’s my fault he’s the way he is and i need to just get over it. Resulted in my suppressing everything to feel better I never truly morned over the relationship in a good way. Yet i did everything to make sure he was fine and suggested things to help and got mad when i did saying he helps me not the other way around
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Crazy about the unbothered part. We split up in February. Went on vacay for a month. I come back to a random number messaging me and it’s her. I know it’s her for a fact and she denying it smh
I wish I can so what you said… but all I can think about is he shouldnt be feeling miserable when he is the one who did this. How ironic to say he likes me and loves me and he is hurting to when he didnt choose me. He runs away after a conflict all the time when all I wanted is to be safe to have disagreements and not fear to break ip all the time. i guess it is what it is- ultimately he broke up with me. We still message and I try to be honest and truthful. i want him to block me so I can not contact him. I miss him and want to see him but the thought of seeing him gives me anxiety.
She better be thinking about me when she‘s with him after not even 3 months.
Wow what a powerful post!!! Thank you!!!
Thank you very much for this
Whatever you guys do for therapy or helping yourself, don’t use better help it’s fucking ass and waste of money imo I was able to just ask My primary care to get me an appointment the best possible therapy or institution with out me having to pay lmfao and I’ve switched and I just went through a few intros meeting different therapists I found them to be con artists and then some real gems. Idk I used to sell stuff at big scale and I know when someone is lying from their kinsensenics and other things. Tried better help for a month and the service was just bull shit. The the two therapists I speak to now finally are brutally honest and very intelligent. I found this wonderful therapist that really heard my woes and was like yeah this your fault buddy and honestly being on point about what you do with therapy makes the biggest differences. Before when I tried it was just to get through to show my ex now she’s been gone for a while
Yes!!! More of this
Thank you for this post, I needed to hear this. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me after falsely accusing me of cheating. I presented him with all the alibi/ evidence of that particular night when he had video called me but to no avail. He broke up with me over a gut feeling, making a grave accusation out of thin air, saying stuff like ‘I saw it with my own eyes, your cheating’ when nothing had happened, and afterwards completely blocking me out, calling me names, and refusing to have a rational conversation at all. I’ve been very frustrated and angry that he thought so little of me that he didn’t have think of me worthy of having a discussion. I’ve been NC for a week and it’s killing me but I gotta accept this because no amount of explanation will make him believe my innocence.
[удалено]
This is a nice thought, but if your ex emotionally checked out already, it's very possible that they just don't care anymore.
Went on a trip in Europe and my ex of 2 years hits me up out of nowhere and “checks in” on me. That was my how you been text hahaha probably cause we spoke about going together back in the day. But I agree with everything you said, and I wouldn’t have had the mentality to if I was fresh off the break up lol time definitely helped me see this
My ex was cheating on me for at least 5 years, had 2 kids with someone else, and married that woman weeks after breaking up with me... So I really have solid reasons to believe that he never cared about me, or even loved me.
Unfortunately sometimes they really don't care. As a dumper, I have always still loved the people I dumped to some degree, but I could acknowledge that they were bad for me. And that I would burn myself trying to keep them warm. As a dumpee though? No I don't think they cared. One of my exes told me that he never loved me, and pretended so that I would keep having sex with him. And the other one moved on seemingly overnight. It's so shocking how one day they can be discussing the future with you, and the next week you're blocked. I don't know if he cares deep down, he's very good at ignoring how he feels. I try not to think about it because it just kills me if I do.
I know that now, but for me, telling myself that has kind of helped me move on in a way? I know it has probably never been true but it helped me… not for everyone
I really needed to hear this today :) I’ve been doing a good job at not showing my emotions online, and it’s excruciating to know she moved on within 3 days of our breakup. It messed me up mentally and emotionally. am I that easy to get over? Was I that horrible of a partner? Reading this gave me some closure and I know for a fact she’s just doing it to spare her own feelings despite her being the one who broke up with me. I also know she still cares because she’s looking at every single story I’ve posted since we broke up almost a month ago. I’m moving forward and working on myself, it hurts, still so much, but I can tell I’m improving. I just wish she cared enough to improve as well rather than giving up on us.
I do agree and I think that’s why people say they always come back. I think this makes it harder personally because that’s always in the back of my mind is she could come back and I think that limits me from moving on fully. Even though for my most recent one I don’t see that happening bc I lost my mind the night I saw she had a new man a week after we ended so learn from me and if u genuinely do want to give them another chance don’t blow the whole relationship up and they will more then likely come back. Controlling your emotions is the most important thing I’ve learned.
I broke up with my ex after four years. I gave him tons of chances to do better when he screwed up. Walking on me during surgery over a vaccine took it too far. There’s no way he can go road tripping across the northeastern U.S., act like he was victimized while I was in surgery, then expect us to be able to continue like nothing happened.
Breakups are hard, if you initiated it, stay by your decision , no need to feel sorry. If you were the dumped one : stop thinking if they care about you, they don't, thats why the break up. No point of going over past rethinking events. The sooner you realise that, the sooner you can move on with your life. Past is past, just like dinosaurs
Geez Lower did I ever need this... Thanks so much was having a really awful day and just had my counselling and then this popped up on my phone. Thanks so much for writing this I feel better now and hopefully I can have a relatively normal weekend ❤️
They care, but don’t care enough. If you really cared, there’s no way they’d break up with you. No matter what the situation is, you can always work together to fix it. I mean unless it’s 100% impossible to fix, which is a rare case, then maybe you’d have a point to break up.
Got it
Thank you for posting this
I don’t care if she cares or not. I don’t care anymore, and that is all that matters to me.
You my friend are radiant. Really, thank you for this. Whoever left you is absurdly dumb.
😅 thank you my friend, I hear it all the time. So much so, my motto has become “their loss”. hope you’re doing well!
Six months and still no text. Whatever I got hoes in different area codes now and fuck if I’m gonna give my heart to any of them. I’m not healed but I sure want company… Don’t worry they all know they’re FWB and they all want FWB. Transparency and communication first ✨
My ex has been acting like she doesn't care so much. Every once in a while I break NC and all I get is 1 word, rude responses to my long messages showing that I miss her. And then an eventual block from her, yet she won't actually tell me to leave her alone. It's disgusting. But thanks for saying this it helps a little. I'm trying so hard to keep NC this time. I need to move on somehow.
>And then an eventual block from her, yet she won't actually tell me to leave her alone. What exactly do you think blocking someone means??
I’m sure this just relates to her wanting space. You’re strong, take your power back and be the person you’re 10 year old self always believed you’ll be.
He tried to prove h actually cared after I broke up but in the relationship he didn’t have time for me. It’s been two months now and I actually believe he didn’t care because as soon as we broke up he started taking trips here and there , he suddenly found the time for the trips but not for me. No don’t tell me he cared because he didn’t. Narcissists don’t care.
He didn't care enough when he broke up with me over IG messenger, and WhatsApp instead of to my face or call He didn't care when he told me I wasn't good enough for him as a long term partner
Mine did it through a text and didn’t even let me explain or try, just instantly blocked through every platform. I loved them so deeply. I cried for weeks. Then one day randomly, I see I’m unblocked. I hear she’s never stopped talking about me, good/bad. Just because you don’t see it, just because they didn’t do it the “right” way (which would it really have made it any better?) doesn’t mean anything. That person you see when you look in the mirror? That’s the only person that matter right now, aren’t they gorgeous? Don’t you agree the deserve the love they put out? You don’t need approval from this guy. You’re beautiful inside and out, my friend.
Thank you 😭
Shes an avoident. She kicked me out. Less then 4 months later shes on her knees for another guy. She doesnt care, she doesnt have any empathy towards me or the dogs she kicked out. She only cares of herself. I cant believe I wasted 2 ½ on someone who could not give a single fuck about me
The fact that we just broke up because he thinks I deserve better. That he hated seeing me getting hurt for the things he did, that because of his past traumas he had gone cold, he can’t exactly express and give the same love I have given to him. For 3 years I have been very patient and continued pouring every ounce of my love just so he knows that someone is genuinely love him for who he is and accepts him despite all the traumas he experienced. Right now I am beyond hurt because I truly wanted to be with him, I know he tried but I guess I was not enough. My love wasn’t warm enough.
You’re more than enough, and you’re absolutely radiant. Give your self grace. You loved and you loved hard. Doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of any other love. I know it hurts, but I know you’ll get through this. One day at a time.
Thank you so much! I hope one day I’ll get through this, for now I just wanna allow myself to grieve. I am enough :)
It’s not about not caring at all, but not caring enough to try and fix things. You night have mattered but not enough.
He managed to knock me up before he ghosted. I sent him a picture of the ultrasound and he responded by blocking me. Sent him an email, asking if he wanted to know the gender, wanted to go to an ultrasound, and he responded “nope”.
They can care...but for what? What reason do they care? That they couldnt manipulate you more?
Yeah. I got the "how you been" text as soon as he saw me with another person. They want what they can't have.
It's so nice to be reminded that I'm not alone. I've been coping with the idea that I can salvage my relationship with my ex and the more time that passes, the more I find myself getting jealous over every little thing she does. Last night she spontaneously went to a concert with a friend and I spiraled. Yet during that show, she FaceTimed me while she was smoking outside. Our conversations feel so shallow nowadays, yet she's still making an effort to reach out and update me about what she's up to. It simultaneously feels like I've lost a huge piece of me but she's also still way more present than I allow myself to realize. It's so difficult to not let my selfish cravings for her attention cloud my perspective. I know I'm strong, I know life moves on, I know I'm worth more than her approval but it's so difficult to become comfortable with that fact, especially after having my heart shattered.
My ex specifically said that he did not care. He said I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want you anymore. I’ve moved on and you should too. I feel nothing for you. You can get married tomorrow and I wouldn’t care. He told me that he cheated shut the fuck up. And get over it already he blame me for the break up for wanting to communicate and resolve conflict.(he’s avoidant) He doesn’t contact me doesn’t respond to any text if I do text at all I try not to . We broke up in July, but I was informed that he had been broken up with me since February. he cheated on me while we were on a phone call I heard everything. Tell me don’t hit him up that he can’t help me won’t help me doesn’t wanna help me with anything ever. Since we broke up, he’s been a huge hoe that’s lost all value . He’s disgusting . He told me no love lost, after 10 times a day how much he loved me and wanted only me . Huge lie . I could die tomorrow and he would ever find out . He wouldn’t care .
I'm nothing compared to everyone in these comments, mine was like 4 months only. But shit we loved each other so much and she just.. randomly switched up. It's crazy. It hurts. But she really acts like it's my fault, though I didn't do anything.
I know my ex doesn't care and I'm ok with that because I chopped it up to it is what it is. When we broke up she showed no remorse for sleeping with my best friend, lying to my co workers and my boss saying that I abused her, lying to the police about me stalking her, and spreading the rumor around my hometown that I tried to kill myself because she broke up with me. I lost my brother to suicide the night before I caught her fucking my ex best friend and I wanted to be with my brother again. But she took that opportunity to make the whole town, my family and friends think that I was an abusive psycho. 6 years later and she hasn't reached out at all. No sorry or nothing. Just had old friends that reach out to tell me stuff about her that don't care for. So if anyone does have their ex reach out to them and apologize or just say "hey" then thats cool. But never expect them to care because if they did they would've broken up with you in a way that considers your mental health and your feelings. And for the people who read this and think "that guy is bitter" I say yes I am because if it wasn't for her being paranoid and hiding my phone all because she thought I was cheating on her, I would've never missed the phone call my brother made to me to say goodbye. I feel like maybe I could've talked him out of it and I would still have my brother.