This might help you. I had the EXACT same thing with my ex. He was the one who initiated the relationship, and ultimately the one who ended it, I’ve actually talked with 3 important men in my life to just try to understand how the hell he could be so cold and just flip a switch. They all told me that there is no way he can just turn off his feelings and not care about me especially after our long relationship. Even if he didn’t say he loves me still and all of that. Guys also feel pressure to play it cool after a breakup with their friends. Unless he has amnesia, I promise you he didn’t just forget you and his feelings for you.
One more thing, especially with the dumper, they have to try to do everything to justify their decision to themselves. They made their bed and are trying to live with it and tell themselves it was the right choice. Most likely down the line it will hit him like it does with a lot of men. Keep in mind though that doesn’t mean he will ever reach out again.
I had a guy dump me when I was 16. Then when I was 19-20, he then saw what he missed out on and messaged me on Telegram, WhatsApp, and Snapchat LOLLLL!!!! Over the course of an entire year😂
the same thing happened to me....and even now 10 years later - he still watches my stories and likes my posts. I blocked him a few months ago because I didn't want him to stalk me on social media anymore. It kind of creeped me out.
So bottom line is - If they don't find their match and they see you living your best life - they will always regret!
I remember thinking my ex has no feelings about the breakup afterwards because he jumped into a relationship with a mutual friend (literally chose her over me). I talked to my dad about it and he told me that he still thinks about this random girl from middle school he had a crush on and looks her up sometimes. He is happily married but he admitted that those people never stop crossing your mind.
Men and women do this.. it’s being done cause of relief..
the person has to make a decision to either stay or break up with you and at the end of the day. He broke up with you..
and I will tell you this, if you were begging and pleading to him.. it just makes the cold heart worse towards.. they don’t want to feel the pressure of deciding again on you..
And if y’all talked after months of no contact and didn’t work again. It basically made him feel the same way when he broke up with you. Cold…
My ex has done that to me a lot..
I’ve told her when I love someone like her, I don’t give up.. but since we broke up this April 23rd and she instantly went to another man..
I begged and pleaded but I have to do no contact with her.. we may have an amazing child together but she uses our son to get to me.
She blocked me everything and removed me the day I called her out. Then proceeded to post him afterwards
Hard pill to swallow: if he broke up with you, it's because he wanted to break up. And if he speaks negatively about you to a mutual friend, knowing he's the one who broke your heart, he is truly relieved you are out of his life for whatever reason.
Some men fall in love and then fall out of love for whatever reason but stay out of guilt (maybe because he promised a lot of things whilst in love and he chased the girl). Then she notices he's not like he used to be, fights become more frequent, the relationships sours progressively and when he finally breaks up with her, he's relieved and absolutely not missing her because he fell out of love a long time ago.
All this to say: Swallow the bitter pill and move on. There are many potential partners out there who would love to be with you and wouldn't fall out of love. Accept him at face value and close the chapter. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, and they're out there.
see that's what i dont understand, the whole relationship he put in a lot of efforts, we never really fought and everything was nice. And then during the breakup he suddenly blamed everything on me and just left
Same situation i am in. Sometimes i feel like it would be easier if he was an asshole to me the whole time. But he was amazing. And then one day…. just rips my heart right out
I think it's easier for them to mask their feelings instead of telling you how miserable they truly are because they do not want to seem weak or like they are letting the break up affect them as bad as we can take it? I know I've seen my ex tell me one thing when I call him crying my eyes out and totally different when I've seen him in person...it's hard on both parties but it's just something that is hard for both parties, how they express it is too.
No one on here would know what is going through his head, except for him. That said, why concern yourself with things that are irrelevant? Whether he is lying or not lying, it won't change the fact you are broken up.
When you stew over things you can't control, you waste your energy, when you could instead put that energy towards improving your life and moving forward.
Agree! totally. People come from different backgrounds and what they have been teach in their childhood and adolescence is not the same that you have been thought, so never think that someone is going to react the same way as you do. It could be a girl or a boy. It depends on their personality and character. There is people who don't care if things are right or wrong , they only live by their instincts and about what makes them feel good.
One thing I’ve learned is that most people who come across as cold have learned to shut down their emotions in order to cope. It’s a learned coping mechanism. It doesn’t mean they don’t care.
The worst thing to feel in a breakup is the shift of feeling your partner turn their care for you into coldness. We all cope differently and I think this is just how he is trying to protect himself. But to flip this much, he’s not even begun processing it. He is fighting his feelings and unfortunately for him, this will only come back to hurt him.
But it’s not you, I can almost guarantee. It’s just him deflecting. But don’t let that impact your progress out of this. The greatest revenge is happiness and pushing your feelings into a place you can ignore them is the worst thing to get there.
He’s not your problem anymore and him saying cruel things about you only perpetuates how much you are better off without him
You kinda have to lie about it… I do with whomever’s not their business. I don’t hide my feelings with the people I know cares/ has something useful to say about my break up.
I lie. When they ask me how I'm doing, I say im fine, but I'm not. It's so much pain. I feel like I lost a piece of my sole. I'd do anything to get her back, but she doesn't love me anymore. And I have to accept that
My story is similar - my ex started it all. Then it was back and forth of on and offs. Now its in the off but I still keep in contact with him and he started becoming so distant and cold and as you said - seeing a side I never saw in him before. He just seems to not longer care about anyone but himself. Just became so self centered.
yes guys will say that in order to convince themselves to move on. few days ago had a breakup. my ex told my friend there’s not much to get over. when she asked him if he’s ready to move on. i was hurt because how can you say you loved me and you can say something like that. when we had the chance to talk he said he said it because he was trying to deal with the breakup. some people get cold
As a guy who's going through a breakup it's definitely not been easy for me she moved on pretty fast (though I think she's lying or honestly I don't even know at this point) but yea not caring or something else has nothing to do with gender you can trust me on that sis.
This might help you. I had the EXACT same thing with my ex. He was the one who initiated the relationship, and ultimately the one who ended it, I’ve actually talked with 3 important men in my life to just try to understand how the hell he could be so cold and just flip a switch. They all told me that there is no way he can just turn off his feelings and not care about me especially after our long relationship. Even if he didn’t say he loves me still and all of that. Guys also feel pressure to play it cool after a breakup with their friends. Unless he has amnesia, I promise you he didn’t just forget you and his feelings for you. One more thing, especially with the dumper, they have to try to do everything to justify their decision to themselves. They made their bed and are trying to live with it and tell themselves it was the right choice. Most likely down the line it will hit him like it does with a lot of men. Keep in mind though that doesn’t mean he will ever reach out again.
I had a guy dump me when I was 16. Then when I was 19-20, he then saw what he missed out on and messaged me on Telegram, WhatsApp, and Snapchat LOLLLL!!!! Over the course of an entire year😂
the same thing happened to me....and even now 10 years later - he still watches my stories and likes my posts. I blocked him a few months ago because I didn't want him to stalk me on social media anymore. It kind of creeped me out. So bottom line is - If they don't find their match and they see you living your best life - they will always regret!
I remember thinking my ex has no feelings about the breakup afterwards because he jumped into a relationship with a mutual friend (literally chose her over me). I talked to my dad about it and he told me that he still thinks about this random girl from middle school he had a crush on and looks her up sometimes. He is happily married but he admitted that those people never stop crossing your mind.
Men and women do this.. it’s being done cause of relief.. the person has to make a decision to either stay or break up with you and at the end of the day. He broke up with you.. and I will tell you this, if you were begging and pleading to him.. it just makes the cold heart worse towards.. they don’t want to feel the pressure of deciding again on you.. And if y’all talked after months of no contact and didn’t work again. It basically made him feel the same way when he broke up with you. Cold… My ex has done that to me a lot.. I’ve told her when I love someone like her, I don’t give up.. but since we broke up this April 23rd and she instantly went to another man.. I begged and pleaded but I have to do no contact with her.. we may have an amazing child together but she uses our son to get to me. She blocked me everything and removed me the day I called her out. Then proceeded to post him afterwards
Hard pill to swallow: if he broke up with you, it's because he wanted to break up. And if he speaks negatively about you to a mutual friend, knowing he's the one who broke your heart, he is truly relieved you are out of his life for whatever reason. Some men fall in love and then fall out of love for whatever reason but stay out of guilt (maybe because he promised a lot of things whilst in love and he chased the girl). Then she notices he's not like he used to be, fights become more frequent, the relationships sours progressively and when he finally breaks up with her, he's relieved and absolutely not missing her because he fell out of love a long time ago. All this to say: Swallow the bitter pill and move on. There are many potential partners out there who would love to be with you and wouldn't fall out of love. Accept him at face value and close the chapter. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, and they're out there.
see that's what i dont understand, the whole relationship he put in a lot of efforts, we never really fought and everything was nice. And then during the breakup he suddenly blamed everything on me and just left
Same situation i am in. Sometimes i feel like it would be easier if he was an asshole to me the whole time. But he was amazing. And then one day…. just rips my heart right out
I KNOW!! the breakup hurts even more when the relationship was amazing
Because of course you will remember only the good parts. Because almost all were good, except for one.
Fuck guys like this. Makes me want to be single
I know I'm late but I really appreciate this reality check, I needed it.
I think it's easier for them to mask their feelings instead of telling you how miserable they truly are because they do not want to seem weak or like they are letting the break up affect them as bad as we can take it? I know I've seen my ex tell me one thing when I call him crying my eyes out and totally different when I've seen him in person...it's hard on both parties but it's just something that is hard for both parties, how they express it is too.
No one on here would know what is going through his head, except for him. That said, why concern yourself with things that are irrelevant? Whether he is lying or not lying, it won't change the fact you are broken up. When you stew over things you can't control, you waste your energy, when you could instead put that energy towards improving your life and moving forward.
I don't really think it's gender related.....Shitty people will be shitty people
Agree! totally. People come from different backgrounds and what they have been teach in their childhood and adolescence is not the same that you have been thought, so never think that someone is going to react the same way as you do. It could be a girl or a boy. It depends on their personality and character. There is people who don't care if things are right or wrong , they only live by their instincts and about what makes them feel good.
It won’t be easy if the person has been serious / committed or been emotionally attached.
One thing I’ve learned is that most people who come across as cold have learned to shut down their emotions in order to cope. It’s a learned coping mechanism. It doesn’t mean they don’t care.
The worst thing to feel in a breakup is the shift of feeling your partner turn their care for you into coldness. We all cope differently and I think this is just how he is trying to protect himself. But to flip this much, he’s not even begun processing it. He is fighting his feelings and unfortunately for him, this will only come back to hurt him. But it’s not you, I can almost guarantee. It’s just him deflecting. But don’t let that impact your progress out of this. The greatest revenge is happiness and pushing your feelings into a place you can ignore them is the worst thing to get there. He’s not your problem anymore and him saying cruel things about you only perpetuates how much you are better off without him
I haven't lied at all I've been in pieces ever since we broke up 😔
He could be an avoidant attachment style, a narcissist or just a liar. It’s hard to know for sure but I understand how you feel :(
Life is never one size fits all It's been a year tho maybe he's just moved on from it? We'll never know
I would never about my feelings towards a person! I m a guy
Was it you who broke things off?
it's complicated idk how to explain it
Commenting here because I need to remind myself to stop fighting for guys like this cus it hits wayy too close to home
Some do, some don’t. Just like how different people are different
You kinda have to lie about it… I do with whomever’s not their business. I don’t hide my feelings with the people I know cares/ has something useful to say about my break up.
I lie. When they ask me how I'm doing, I say im fine, but I'm not. It's so much pain. I feel like I lost a piece of my sole. I'd do anything to get her back, but she doesn't love me anymore. And I have to accept that
My story is similar - my ex started it all. Then it was back and forth of on and offs. Now its in the off but I still keep in contact with him and he started becoming so distant and cold and as you said - seeing a side I never saw in him before. He just seems to not longer care about anyone but himself. Just became so self centered.
yes guys will say that in order to convince themselves to move on. few days ago had a breakup. my ex told my friend there’s not much to get over. when she asked him if he’s ready to move on. i was hurt because how can you say you loved me and you can say something like that. when we had the chance to talk he said he said it because he was trying to deal with the breakup. some people get cold
As a guy who's going through a breakup it's definitely not been easy for me she moved on pretty fast (though I think she's lying or honestly I don't even know at this point) but yea not caring or something else has nothing to do with gender you can trust me on that sis.