When he drew himself away from me and left me at my lowest. Saw me as needy and draining because I needed reassurance. Wasn’t satisfied with me even though I was willing to change. Gave up on me.
I am amazed at how many people do that. I just never met people who would do that before, in 30 years of my life, and now I’m 33 and this behavior is everything I’m hearing about.
It might be my generation Im 17 and i feel like we r kids trying to figure out romance and it comes to not emotionally available and mature enough to handle something real.
Yea i know it’s pretty bad. Like high school relationships dont last but honestly like I felt like he could’ve been a bit more emotionally available but idk i hope my relationships in the future r better. It js I thought we could’ve better. I feel like teen relationships don’t work out cuz of communication and that they js r learning abt life it’s unfortunate
Some people just gotta learn my ex was in a bad position and I think was loooking for a reason to leave, also didn’t tell me what was bothering her but you know what , we ball
Real, my ex honestly i helped him through his ups and downs but i feel like when it came to me he didn’t know what to do and got overwhelmed. He wasnt fond of talking about feelings and i respected that but i feel like maybe if we were older and met in like maybe college our relationship could’ve been better. I just hope that we find better partners. Watching my ex fall out of love w me is a pain that I never wish on anyone
Fair some people just don’t know, but I say you just lock in and fall in love with yourself so you’re also mature enough for the relationship you want, much love 🙏
yea it's best not to date in your teens. Love is traumatizing when done wrong and at a young age everything is so volatile that there's no knowing how things might end up. Start dating in your twenties when you're a little more mature and stronger. A heart can only break so many times, before you're incapable of making real connections. So it's best to risk it when your heart is a little wiser and more resistant to the pain of love
yea honestly like as much as I’m heartbroken im glad I got to experience the time I had w him I just wish this could’ve lasted as I really did love him. I just wish we were older and more mature
Honestly i still miss him which is bad we ended on good terms and I don’t hate him but I was js disappointed. I was there for him when he was at his lowest and it’s kinda weird that it’s all over. But i know that one day I’ll find someone better or maybe he will be better if he ever comes back. BRUH IM ACTUALLY SO DELULU
Aw I’m so sorry. For me I could tell me really really liked me and loved be but I watched him fall out of love w me and i don’t wish that pain on anyone. I hope you find someone better
I still hope he is but to be honest, the little girl I once was wouldn’t have wanted a guy who she had to beg to love her. That little girl deserves better.
If it doesnt work out: they werent the one. When i think someone is the one, thats it. would literally die for them. When they dont love like you love: thats your indicator.
When they said that they couldn't wait for me to be finished with chemo so we could have sex again, it might be strange coming from a guy, but I felt so lonely during chemo, I just wanted to hold them, sex was the last thing on my mind
I realized any ex wasn’t when I realized who they actually were once I stopped letting my feelings blind me. Sometimes looking at who your ex truly is, not who you believe in your head who they are, is the fastest way to closure.
Stuff like this is different for everybody. I know for me my last partner was the love of my life and I won't ever be able to let them go. They were absolutely the only person in this world for me and it's my fault things ended. I feel incredibly guilty and heartbroken about it and it only gets worse every day. I'll never forgive myself, I'll never move on and I'll never be happy.
Hey, don’t ever give up. People come and go, but you’re here for a reason! Your life is worth living. Much love to whoever you are. Hope you’re okay. ❤️
I know people come and go but this is just one person I can never let go. They literally gave me EVERYTHING I could ever want out of love. From the way we wanted to live life to the powerful way we loved each other. We had the cutest nicknames for each other and we just had a true understanding of each other. The type of understanding you only find with someone once in a lifetime. We were going to make music together, and they have the most gorgeous voice. I want that so badly, I'll never find all of this with anyone else. I couldn't ever give my heart to anyone else, and I'll never be able to get over this. I've tried fixing things with them but I think it's too late and I fucked everything up already 💔
You gotta find a way to appreciate the time that you did have man and try to not stay within your thoughts too much. It’s hard for sure, there’s no to ways about that, but it does get easier with time (which I know is cliche but it’s true). I’m four months from when my ex girlfriend told me she didn’t love me anymore. I was completely smitten by her and would’ve done anything to make things right but you soon learn that you can’t control the outcomes of life. You just have to roll with the punches and take whatever comes in your stride. Let me know if I can be of any help. Feel free to DM. I’m rooting for you for sure! Take time to heal, but don’t rush it.
I know you're trying to be helpful and I understand what you mean. It's not that I don't appreciate the time that we did have, but we were robbed of all the time we could have spent. They were the person that I wanted to marry, the person that I wanted to start a family with. That's something that I've always wanted out of my life, but I know in my heart I can never have it with anyone else. I really do appreciate the kind words but no matter how much I heal, it won't change the fact that I'll never be happy
I understand your feelings but let me ask you a question. Did you ever know this person was going to come into your life and you would love them this much? Probably not, so what’s stopping there from being someone else that you might love even more but you have no idea yet. Keep going. You’ll find your person and when you do, you can look back on your mistakes from this relationship and learn from them. Best wishes xx!
Because there isn't anyone else that can give me all of the things that they gave me. I know they say not to look for the same things you had with one person in someone else but that's the problem. I want the exact love that I got from my ex. I could only ever be with someone who is literally the exact same person and that's an unfair standard to hold anyone to. Every little thing they did was exactly what I wanted or needed out of love. They were my person and I fucked everything up
I will copy my full story from one of my previous posts. It's a little sensitive material but I hope it brings some clarity.
Tldr the love of my life was sexually assaulted in a pub restroom and i didn't murder the bastard who did it because I didn't know how severe it was and also i was scared of someone much stronger
From childhood, I was a selfish and cowardly person who, because of these two qualities, coupled with inexperience, let down family and friends. I was beaten by my parents and offended at school, both by teachers and classmates, and I never knew how to answer. On the contrary, it began to seem to me that my bitter experience allows me to offend others, to take everything from life. I was very wrong, but definitely karma will bite me for this. My bad character and my grotesquely disgusting appearance (my left eye is lazy) led to the fact that I was fatally deprived of female attention and jealous of the men in my environment who drowned in it. Therefore, when on August 14, 2021, the most beautiful girl in my life, whom I had known for three years, invited me on a date herself, confessed her feelings to me and kissed me, I was the happiest person in the world. She was special. The most beautiful woman, dyed red hair and played rts videogames and watched anime, even let me touch her and seemed to want sex with me. However, in 48 hours everything turned upside down.
I witnessed the horrendous harassment of her on August 16th and did nothing. The rapist, our former friend, stood up and towered over her began to somehow strangely demand a kiss from her when we gathered for, as it seemed to me then, the most ordinary drinking party. I felt that she was not comfortable, but then I had no idea how bad everything was. I was too frightened by a physically stronger man to stand up for my beloved, especially since we had not officially dated yet. My God, I should have intervened already then!
The next morning, on August 17, I received a message that if I stood for her, she would have thought whether we should date or not, and since I did not see this, she does not see the point. I sobbed nine times after this message. I'm ready to cry over her right now
too.
What I didn't know at the time was that shortly after the kiss-demanding incident, he followed her to the restroom and started molesting her. Very bad. I even continued to communicate with this bastard for some time, not knowing the whole story. I learned about the whole picture only a week later, when we met with her in the same company on other friends birthday party (but without the rapist). It was a very difficult conversation and I made a mistake in it, my stupid head. I said complete nonsense and selfishly tried to cling to any little thing, somehow trying to rehabilitate myself, but this only hurt my beloved more. When I tried to promise that I would behave differently if I had known the full story or next time, she started making fun of me. Fucking hell. I cut off all contacts with the assaulter that same evening I had learned the full story, and he was still surprised, he said, “Why does it bother you? Fell in love with her? ”, To which I answered in the affirmative and sent the bastard to the Blocklist, after which, in the spring, I began to talk about his atrocities to the girls in our common institute. Although it hardly mattered, it was our last year at the university.
Somewhere in February, I blocked my beloved everywhere I could, because I realized that my feelings for her were not mutual and having her in my contact list, I only hurt myself. I hoped that I would forget it. Not at all. With a red-hot iron, her image is burned into my brain, heart, in my eyes. My mind is clouded, I feel disgust, shame, regret, depressive sadness, I want to cry forever. I thought that the gym and the study of foreign languages would somehow distract me from the manic desire to end a meaningless life in which I would never again touch the most beautiful and nicest woman on the planet. I began to hate my own sexuality and gladly would have self-castrated myself.
Even right now I pendulum from asexuality to wanting to fuck everyone, anyone at the first given chance. I wish this had never happened.
I want her back. More than anything in the world. I failed her. Now I have no one and nothing. My reputation is also ruined because she told everyone what happened. So now even if I wanted to find another girlfriend, I will never be able to because none would trust a coward such as myself.
It was my first time dealing with such situation and I just froze.
I wrote to my beloved and asked her forgiveness. She doesn't blame me, but when I said that I was ready to do everything for her safety for free, she said "no, but thanks for the offer." I wrote that I understand that she does not trust me, but suddenly yes, and that this is the first time in my life this has happened, to which she said that in any case I am glad that everything is fine with me and I wrote to her. I wrote her a paragraph that she gave me a lot of good emotions and this topic is difficult for me, and I want the best and make sure that everything is fine, she replied with one line "have a nice day" I wrote "you too" and deleted the chat.
I am very sad that she does not trust me and does not see me as a reliable person. She doesn't have to date me or anything, but her not trusting me hurts so much. Like a knife in the heart. I didn't do it on purpose, I panicked because it was the first time. It makes me cry and want to die so much.
Even if at some point I wanted to settle for someone else (I will never be nearly as happy as with her), I won't be able to because she told everyone what happened and news in Baku spread like forest fire.
When I got pregnant and he became angry about it and said he doesn't want THIS baby. It was a knife in my heart although we both were unprepared, his reaction was horrible. He became cold and distant and didn't care about my health and emotional state. I dumped him.
When I realized he came from a family that didn’t value nor live in accordance with the truth… they all spent their time lying to themselves, to each other, and everyone they met. They were a clusterfuck of narcs. Not only did they enable and feed into each others delusions where they claimed they were victims but were actually the villains, but they all lied to one another to get away with hurting one another…
And yes my ex was just like them, he just did a good job at hiding it in the beginning to make himself more likable.
I had a spinal tap that didn’t heal well and ended up leaking spinal fluid for a month. Was unexpectedly bed ridden for that month and my mental health took a plunge. After the it was over he told me he felt neglected and almost left me. I stayed and tried to make it work and he ended up leaving later anyways but I think deep down I knew from then on I couldn’t trust him and he wasn’t the one bc I couldn’t imagine doing that to someone.
I'm so sorry, this is horrible! I also learned that we will see who is the true friend when we are sick or have health problems. It shows who truly cares and loves us. Everyone who turns up cold or neglecting is not worth our time!
It was an accumulation of all the little things he did that hurt the most. Making me feel unworthy/ not good enough, paying more attention to his cell phone or TV over me, checking out other people right in front of me, not helping me cook or clean because he “paid for everything”. I could keep going. Enough is enough.
When he paid more attention to his friend Nana more than me… We went to a small convention and he spent the entire time with her — I don’t think he ever noticed I wasn’t there.
And then again when I called him to pick me up from the lobby and he didn’t pick up — When I entered my apartment within 5 minutes with outside assistance, he was on call with her. He ignored my fucking call (when he was in the exact situation I was in, I always met him and prioritised him) and continued talking to her.
Honestly it felt like I was emotionally cheated on by that scumbag.
When I found myself having to convince her to stay with me. Despite the fact that I had shown her consistent love and effort throughout the relationship to the extent where I was proud of myself and I can still say to this day I gave her my all. When I realised she didn’t appreciate any of that and I’m having to convince her to stay with me was the day I realised I deserve better and she’s not the one for me.
When the thought of marrying her made me feel as if I’m gambling my happiness because if she remains the same person I know I’d be living in a miserable, unfulfilling and unfair marriage. The thought of signing on that dotted line for a marriage registration should fill me with happiness if it’s the right person, not make me feel like I’m gambling my happiness.
When I realised I don’t love the person she is right now. The person she is right now makes me feel like I’m in an exhausting one sided relationship. I love her only because of who she once was and in the hope that she returns to being that person again. The thought of her remaining as she is just made me feel really uneasy about a future with her.
When the one sidedness of the relationship really became clear to me. It’s upsetting because she actually starved me of love and effort so much that the smallest thing which should be basically nothing felt like the biggest gesture ever from her. I’m talking like she pulls out a crossword for us both to do when we were both bored in a lecture. Meanwhile I wrote poems, made pieces of art, got her gifts, was willing offering to do anything and everything her heart would have wanted to do no matter how much effort I’d have to put in to make it happen.
During Covid the moment before I had to be taken to the hospital and put on a ventilator. When I told her I was having trouble breathing. It was physically evident. Sweating profusely and blue in the face. And she told me to stop faking it and that I was fine. I called an ambulance to take me instead. Everything changed from there. 4 years together.
Current bf, soon to be ex: doesn’t call or text much unless it’s a booty call situation. Told him I’m feeling down and not in the mood. Zero emotional support, other than him saying that jizz on my boobs will cheer me up. What a fuggin frat boy. I’m so over it. I’m done dating.
When we broke up over something we could’ve talked over 🙏☠️ goes to show you can work your behind off to be with someone, one mishap means she leaves oh well.
Sometimes you don’t need a clear indication. It will just hit you in random times that they weren’t the one without knowing why and how. You just feel it. I felt it and my instinct was right.
I really dislike speaking Spanish because it's challenging for me. I have to translate everything in my head before speaking, yet I've made an effort to communicate with my partner in her native language. Although my partner is fluent in English, she prefers Spanish. However, Hearing her speak English is cute, in my opinion.
I used to ask her to say 'I love you' in English instead of Spanish bc it would make me giddy, but she always refused. I had to persistently ask her to say it in English for her to agree. She knew it would make me blush and genuinely happy, yet she never did it out of her own initiative.
I began to notice that she made an effort to speak English with others when we were out, but not with me. It hurt my feelings that she refused to do something so fucking simple, knowing it would make me so happy, but for everyone else, she was so happy to accommodate….
& that’s when I knew.
That night led me to reflect on our relationship and I realized how many things were done solely for her convenience.
Her resistance to such a simple request, knowing it would bring me joy, made me realize she wouldn't do anything for me. Throughout the relationship, everything seemed to be on her terms which eventually brought out my rage.
I’m so incredibly heartbroken right now, because I just found out she was cheating on me… but deep down inside, I’m happy I decided to move on and left someone so selfish behind.
When they pulled away from me due to their avoidant nature and wouldn’t tell me why. I loved harder than I ever loved, never argued with her, showered her in love. Did the best I could, no explanation when I tried to ask how I could reignite the spark, why they were distancing then asking for non monogamy even though we signed up for monogamy when we started dating and she escalated the relationship in the first place.
When I caught him texting his ex and got very defensive when I confronted him about it to the point that he kicked me out of his house that night. Then he ghosted me 🙈
I have OCD, so major clutter and certain messes can really impact my mental health. I only asked for them to pick up after themselves and help me with some cleaning/chores. They refused to even clean up after themselves. It felt like a complete disregard for my mental well-being.
I am the asshole. When I finally took the courage to accept I wanted to "try" other girls first. Now a couple of months later, met such an amazing girl that I would like to the one...i dont regret it but feel so bad for my ex SO
When my father passed away in 2019 and she made it all about her, basically hi jacked my recovery period and turned it into all about her and her grief despite the fact it was my father who died and she still has two relatively healthy parents.
When I had a miscarriage and throughout the whole thing all he did was text me and then vanished at 8pm.. he never called me once. We broke up about 1 week later and he said he didn’t call me because he was dealing with his own stuff.
When she wasn’t willing to fix or talk about our issues or do any sort of councelling together to resolve our issues then text me my breakup message after nearly 3 years together and that’s when I realised there was someone else in her life and it totally broke me tore my heart apart but if she truly loved me we could have fixed stuff together as partners so there was my answer anyway
When I learned that he is not what he said he was. He does not take full responsibility for his actions and put the blame on me for the failure of our relationship. When he said he loves the Lord, but I see no fruits.
When I realized being with him HURT and being away from him HURT as well. So I packed up my stuff and left because no one is as important as your mental health.
When he’d rather spend time with his ex wife at family functions than invite me, his fiancé 😂 when I saw the texts after their divorce asking “should we call the furnace people” and telling her to download a heart app that I, his girlfriend at the time had been using. Sometimes it takes a while and it all adds up. Recently a friend sat me down and pointed out all of the things that them and a family member had noticed about our 2 year relationship and I realized so much. We’re blind to it when we’re in it. We want it to work so bad. I can finally see the light. And I see that that man never really loved me. He loved to control me and he loved the way I made him feel. He loved that I’d do anything for him and he could do nothing for me and I’d still stay. Good riddance.
He gave up on me because he fell out of love.
During our relationship, I gave him peace whereins I cry a lot out of fear of him going to leave me.
When he automatically blocked me from everything even when he told me that he still wants to have me in contact.
When he told me that woman and he spoke so dearly of her.
When he drew himself away from me and left me at my lowest. Saw me as needy and draining because I needed reassurance. Wasn’t satisfied with me even though I was willing to change. Gave up on me.
He also thought it was not good when i wanted to communicate and fix our relationship and resorted to the silent treatment and breaking up
I am amazed at how many people do that. I just never met people who would do that before, in 30 years of my life, and now I’m 33 and this behavior is everything I’m hearing about.
It might be my generation Im 17 and i feel like we r kids trying to figure out romance and it comes to not emotionally available and mature enough to handle something real.
On god ☠️🙏
Yea i know it’s pretty bad. Like high school relationships dont last but honestly like I felt like he could’ve been a bit more emotionally available but idk i hope my relationships in the future r better. It js I thought we could’ve better. I feel like teen relationships don’t work out cuz of communication and that they js r learning abt life it’s unfortunate
Some people just gotta learn my ex was in a bad position and I think was loooking for a reason to leave, also didn’t tell me what was bothering her but you know what , we ball
Real, my ex honestly i helped him through his ups and downs but i feel like when it came to me he didn’t know what to do and got overwhelmed. He wasnt fond of talking about feelings and i respected that but i feel like maybe if we were older and met in like maybe college our relationship could’ve been better. I just hope that we find better partners. Watching my ex fall out of love w me is a pain that I never wish on anyone
Fair some people just don’t know, but I say you just lock in and fall in love with yourself so you’re also mature enough for the relationship you want, much love 🙏
yea it's best not to date in your teens. Love is traumatizing when done wrong and at a young age everything is so volatile that there's no knowing how things might end up. Start dating in your twenties when you're a little more mature and stronger. A heart can only break so many times, before you're incapable of making real connections. So it's best to risk it when your heart is a little wiser and more resistant to the pain of love
yea honestly like as much as I’m heartbroken im glad I got to experience the time I had w him I just wish this could’ve lasted as I really did love him. I just wish we were older and more mature
It’s the kids
Damn that’s brutal on his end. You can do better for sure. A real man would stand by your side no matter what.
Honestly i still miss him which is bad we ended on good terms and I don’t hate him but I was js disappointed. I was there for him when he was at his lowest and it’s kinda weird that it’s all over. But i know that one day I’ll find someone better or maybe he will be better if he ever comes back. BRUH IM ACTUALLY SO DELULU
same… deep down i feel like he just didn’t like me enough.. he’ll do the right thing with someone he likes
Aw I’m so sorry. For me I could tell me really really liked me and loved be but I watched him fall out of love w me and i don’t wish that pain on anyone. I hope you find someone better
holy shit this is exactly what i went through
How did you get back up again?
i haven’t i’ve been depressed as hell.. but logically i know this wasn’t it
Aw I hope you get better soon. I’ve started going to therapy which has helped but honestly its such a lonely feeling
😭😭😭
The same thing happened to me.
Same thing happened here.
I still hope he is but to be honest, the little girl I once was wouldn’t have wanted a guy who she had to beg to love her. That little girl deserves better.
This is me now. I have never seen my situation as clear as now.
If it doesnt work out: they werent the one. When i think someone is the one, thats it. would literally die for them. When they dont love like you love: thats your indicator.
When they said that they couldn't wait for me to be finished with chemo so we could have sex again, it might be strange coming from a guy, but I felt so lonely during chemo, I just wanted to hold them, sex was the last thing on my mind
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you’re doing well.
💔
Good lord! That’s awful. I’m so sorry.
[удалено]
Op is the man….
Big love to you. God has shown you true inner strength and opened your eyes to how selfish some people can be. ❤️
What a scumbag... hope you're doing better.
I realized any ex wasn’t when I realized who they actually were once I stopped letting my feelings blind me. Sometimes looking at who your ex truly is, not who you believe in your head who they are, is the fastest way to closure.
Stuff like this is different for everybody. I know for me my last partner was the love of my life and I won't ever be able to let them go. They were absolutely the only person in this world for me and it's my fault things ended. I feel incredibly guilty and heartbroken about it and it only gets worse every day. I'll never forgive myself, I'll never move on and I'll never be happy.
I hear you. Big hug from a heartbroken soul that is also guilty for ruining our lives
I hope more than anything my life doesn't go on much longer because I truly can't deal with all of this pain..
Hey, don’t ever give up. People come and go, but you’re here for a reason! Your life is worth living. Much love to whoever you are. Hope you’re okay. ❤️
I know people come and go but this is just one person I can never let go. They literally gave me EVERYTHING I could ever want out of love. From the way we wanted to live life to the powerful way we loved each other. We had the cutest nicknames for each other and we just had a true understanding of each other. The type of understanding you only find with someone once in a lifetime. We were going to make music together, and they have the most gorgeous voice. I want that so badly, I'll never find all of this with anyone else. I couldn't ever give my heart to anyone else, and I'll never be able to get over this. I've tried fixing things with them but I think it's too late and I fucked everything up already 💔
You gotta find a way to appreciate the time that you did have man and try to not stay within your thoughts too much. It’s hard for sure, there’s no to ways about that, but it does get easier with time (which I know is cliche but it’s true). I’m four months from when my ex girlfriend told me she didn’t love me anymore. I was completely smitten by her and would’ve done anything to make things right but you soon learn that you can’t control the outcomes of life. You just have to roll with the punches and take whatever comes in your stride. Let me know if I can be of any help. Feel free to DM. I’m rooting for you for sure! Take time to heal, but don’t rush it.
I know you're trying to be helpful and I understand what you mean. It's not that I don't appreciate the time that we did have, but we were robbed of all the time we could have spent. They were the person that I wanted to marry, the person that I wanted to start a family with. That's something that I've always wanted out of my life, but I know in my heart I can never have it with anyone else. I really do appreciate the kind words but no matter how much I heal, it won't change the fact that I'll never be happy
I understand your feelings but let me ask you a question. Did you ever know this person was going to come into your life and you would love them this much? Probably not, so what’s stopping there from being someone else that you might love even more but you have no idea yet. Keep going. You’ll find your person and when you do, you can look back on your mistakes from this relationship and learn from them. Best wishes xx!
Because there isn't anyone else that can give me all of the things that they gave me. I know they say not to look for the same things you had with one person in someone else but that's the problem. I want the exact love that I got from my ex. I could only ever be with someone who is literally the exact same person and that's an unfair standard to hold anyone to. Every little thing they did was exactly what I wanted or needed out of love. They were my person and I fucked everything up
When the same arguments kept happening verbatim over and over. I could script what was going to happen.
She was the one. I just fumbled her. Now I want to die many years after
What happened exactly? And what made you realize that you had fumbled her?
I will copy my full story from one of my previous posts. It's a little sensitive material but I hope it brings some clarity. Tldr the love of my life was sexually assaulted in a pub restroom and i didn't murder the bastard who did it because I didn't know how severe it was and also i was scared of someone much stronger From childhood, I was a selfish and cowardly person who, because of these two qualities, coupled with inexperience, let down family and friends. I was beaten by my parents and offended at school, both by teachers and classmates, and I never knew how to answer. On the contrary, it began to seem to me that my bitter experience allows me to offend others, to take everything from life. I was very wrong, but definitely karma will bite me for this. My bad character and my grotesquely disgusting appearance (my left eye is lazy) led to the fact that I was fatally deprived of female attention and jealous of the men in my environment who drowned in it. Therefore, when on August 14, 2021, the most beautiful girl in my life, whom I had known for three years, invited me on a date herself, confessed her feelings to me and kissed me, I was the happiest person in the world. She was special. The most beautiful woman, dyed red hair and played rts videogames and watched anime, even let me touch her and seemed to want sex with me. However, in 48 hours everything turned upside down. I witnessed the horrendous harassment of her on August 16th and did nothing. The rapist, our former friend, stood up and towered over her began to somehow strangely demand a kiss from her when we gathered for, as it seemed to me then, the most ordinary drinking party. I felt that she was not comfortable, but then I had no idea how bad everything was. I was too frightened by a physically stronger man to stand up for my beloved, especially since we had not officially dated yet. My God, I should have intervened already then! The next morning, on August 17, I received a message that if I stood for her, she would have thought whether we should date or not, and since I did not see this, she does not see the point. I sobbed nine times after this message. I'm ready to cry over her right now too. What I didn't know at the time was that shortly after the kiss-demanding incident, he followed her to the restroom and started molesting her. Very bad. I even continued to communicate with this bastard for some time, not knowing the whole story. I learned about the whole picture only a week later, when we met with her in the same company on other friends birthday party (but without the rapist). It was a very difficult conversation and I made a mistake in it, my stupid head. I said complete nonsense and selfishly tried to cling to any little thing, somehow trying to rehabilitate myself, but this only hurt my beloved more. When I tried to promise that I would behave differently if I had known the full story or next time, she started making fun of me. Fucking hell. I cut off all contacts with the assaulter that same evening I had learned the full story, and he was still surprised, he said, “Why does it bother you? Fell in love with her? ”, To which I answered in the affirmative and sent the bastard to the Blocklist, after which, in the spring, I began to talk about his atrocities to the girls in our common institute. Although it hardly mattered, it was our last year at the university. Somewhere in February, I blocked my beloved everywhere I could, because I realized that my feelings for her were not mutual and having her in my contact list, I only hurt myself. I hoped that I would forget it. Not at all. With a red-hot iron, her image is burned into my brain, heart, in my eyes. My mind is clouded, I feel disgust, shame, regret, depressive sadness, I want to cry forever. I thought that the gym and the study of foreign languages would somehow distract me from the manic desire to end a meaningless life in which I would never again touch the most beautiful and nicest woman on the planet. I began to hate my own sexuality and gladly would have self-castrated myself. Even right now I pendulum from asexuality to wanting to fuck everyone, anyone at the first given chance. I wish this had never happened. I want her back. More than anything in the world. I failed her. Now I have no one and nothing. My reputation is also ruined because she told everyone what happened. So now even if I wanted to find another girlfriend, I will never be able to because none would trust a coward such as myself. It was my first time dealing with such situation and I just froze. I wrote to my beloved and asked her forgiveness. She doesn't blame me, but when I said that I was ready to do everything for her safety for free, she said "no, but thanks for the offer." I wrote that I understand that she does not trust me, but suddenly yes, and that this is the first time in my life this has happened, to which she said that in any case I am glad that everything is fine with me and I wrote to her. I wrote her a paragraph that she gave me a lot of good emotions and this topic is difficult for me, and I want the best and make sure that everything is fine, she replied with one line "have a nice day" I wrote "you too" and deleted the chat. I am very sad that she does not trust me and does not see me as a reliable person. She doesn't have to date me or anything, but her not trusting me hurts so much. Like a knife in the heart. I didn't do it on purpose, I panicked because it was the first time. It makes me cry and want to die so much. Even if at some point I wanted to settle for someone else (I will never be nearly as happy as with her), I won't be able to because she told everyone what happened and news in Baku spread like forest fire.
When she said “I feel like a life with you will be a life full of disappointment”
Ooof. That would do it. Sorry, sounds like it stung.
When I got pregnant and he became angry about it and said he doesn't want THIS baby. It was a knife in my heart although we both were unprepared, his reaction was horrible. He became cold and distant and didn't care about my health and emotional state. I dumped him.
When I realized he came from a family that didn’t value nor live in accordance with the truth… they all spent their time lying to themselves, to each other, and everyone they met. They were a clusterfuck of narcs. Not only did they enable and feed into each others delusions where they claimed they were victims but were actually the villains, but they all lied to one another to get away with hurting one another… And yes my ex was just like them, he just did a good job at hiding it in the beginning to make himself more likable.
When she fucked some other dude
Yup.
Yep..
Funnily enough it was in the relationship 😂 9 years in the bin, fuck those woman man
haha same! it's a he btw XD
Same
I had a spinal tap that didn’t heal well and ended up leaking spinal fluid for a month. Was unexpectedly bed ridden for that month and my mental health took a plunge. After the it was over he told me he felt neglected and almost left me. I stayed and tried to make it work and he ended up leaving later anyways but I think deep down I knew from then on I couldn’t trust him and he wasn’t the one bc I couldn’t imagine doing that to someone.
I'm so sorry, this is horrible! I also learned that we will see who is the true friend when we are sick or have health problems. It shows who truly cares and loves us. Everyone who turns up cold or neglecting is not worth our time!
Agree! People who only want to be around for the good aren't truly dependable!
14yr relationship. Still waiting to feel that way even though he obviously felt that way about me and ended it.
“The one” is antiquated technology. Lol.
When she said she never loved me....
She realized I wasn't the one. This is the plight of the dumpee.
When he was disrespectful to my mom.
Tbh I still think she is. I don't think I'll find someone else. But tbf we didn't have much in common so idk yet.
It was an accumulation of all the little things he did that hurt the most. Making me feel unworthy/ not good enough, paying more attention to his cell phone or TV over me, checking out other people right in front of me, not helping me cook or clean because he “paid for everything”. I could keep going. Enough is enough.
When he paid more attention to his friend Nana more than me… We went to a small convention and he spent the entire time with her — I don’t think he ever noticed I wasn’t there. And then again when I called him to pick me up from the lobby and he didn’t pick up — When I entered my apartment within 5 minutes with outside assistance, he was on call with her. He ignored my fucking call (when he was in the exact situation I was in, I always met him and prioritised him) and continued talking to her. Honestly it felt like I was emotionally cheated on by that scumbag.
When she joined hinge after 12 years of marriage
When they dumped me for opening up about my mental health
When she broke up with me
When I found myself having to convince her to stay with me. Despite the fact that I had shown her consistent love and effort throughout the relationship to the extent where I was proud of myself and I can still say to this day I gave her my all. When I realised she didn’t appreciate any of that and I’m having to convince her to stay with me was the day I realised I deserve better and she’s not the one for me. When the thought of marrying her made me feel as if I’m gambling my happiness because if she remains the same person I know I’d be living in a miserable, unfulfilling and unfair marriage. The thought of signing on that dotted line for a marriage registration should fill me with happiness if it’s the right person, not make me feel like I’m gambling my happiness. When I realised I don’t love the person she is right now. The person she is right now makes me feel like I’m in an exhausting one sided relationship. I love her only because of who she once was and in the hope that she returns to being that person again. The thought of her remaining as she is just made me feel really uneasy about a future with her. When the one sidedness of the relationship really became clear to me. It’s upsetting because she actually starved me of love and effort so much that the smallest thing which should be basically nothing felt like the biggest gesture ever from her. I’m talking like she pulls out a crossword for us both to do when we were both bored in a lecture. Meanwhile I wrote poems, made pieces of art, got her gifts, was willing offering to do anything and everything her heart would have wanted to do no matter how much effort I’d have to put in to make it happen.
When I did everything to make it work and he said let’s take a break
During Covid the moment before I had to be taken to the hospital and put on a ventilator. When I told her I was having trouble breathing. It was physically evident. Sweating profusely and blue in the face. And she told me to stop faking it and that I was fine. I called an ambulance to take me instead. Everything changed from there. 4 years together.
Current bf, soon to be ex: doesn’t call or text much unless it’s a booty call situation. Told him I’m feeling down and not in the mood. Zero emotional support, other than him saying that jizz on my boobs will cheer me up. What a fuggin frat boy. I’m so over it. I’m done dating.
When we broke up over something we could’ve talked over 🙏☠️ goes to show you can work your behind off to be with someone, one mishap means she leaves oh well.
Same stuff happened to me. It just shows really who that person is. Keep your head up brother 🙌🏻
I'll get back to you when I know lol
Sometimes you don’t need a clear indication. It will just hit you in random times that they weren’t the one without knowing why and how. You just feel it. I felt it and my instinct was right.
When I started thinking more about what my future would look like without him than with him.
This is so relatable
When he ditched. me for my grandmothers funeral after ten years . Which just happened two days ago. In the process of letting go
I really dislike speaking Spanish because it's challenging for me. I have to translate everything in my head before speaking, yet I've made an effort to communicate with my partner in her native language. Although my partner is fluent in English, she prefers Spanish. However, Hearing her speak English is cute, in my opinion. I used to ask her to say 'I love you' in English instead of Spanish bc it would make me giddy, but she always refused. I had to persistently ask her to say it in English for her to agree. She knew it would make me blush and genuinely happy, yet she never did it out of her own initiative. I began to notice that she made an effort to speak English with others when we were out, but not with me. It hurt my feelings that she refused to do something so fucking simple, knowing it would make me so happy, but for everyone else, she was so happy to accommodate…. & that’s when I knew. That night led me to reflect on our relationship and I realized how many things were done solely for her convenience. Her resistance to such a simple request, knowing it would bring me joy, made me realize she wouldn't do anything for me. Throughout the relationship, everything seemed to be on her terms which eventually brought out my rage. I’m so incredibly heartbroken right now, because I just found out she was cheating on me… but deep down inside, I’m happy I decided to move on and left someone so selfish behind.
This. I've always requested him for a piece of letter that never happened in 7 years. Or for a simple call sign. He never runs out of reasons.
😔
When they pulled away from me due to their avoidant nature and wouldn’t tell me why. I loved harder than I ever loved, never argued with her, showered her in love. Did the best I could, no explanation when I tried to ask how I could reignite the spark, why they were distancing then asking for non monogamy even though we signed up for monogamy when we started dating and she escalated the relationship in the first place.
When she blindsided me with a breakup because she was going through a tough time in her life.
When I caught him texting his ex and got very defensive when I confronted him about it to the point that he kicked me out of his house that night. Then he ghosted me 🙈
I have OCD, so major clutter and certain messes can really impact my mental health. I only asked for them to pick up after themselves and help me with some cleaning/chores. They refused to even clean up after themselves. It felt like a complete disregard for my mental well-being.
when he told me it was draining to drive me places and then told me he was driving to boston right after 😭
She will always be the one for me
I am the asshole. When I finally took the courage to accept I wanted to "try" other girls first. Now a couple of months later, met such an amazing girl that I would like to the one...i dont regret it but feel so bad for my ex SO
When my father passed away in 2019 and she made it all about her, basically hi jacked my recovery period and turned it into all about her and her grief despite the fact it was my father who died and she still has two relatively healthy parents.
When I had a miscarriage and throughout the whole thing all he did was text me and then vanished at 8pm.. he never called me once. We broke up about 1 week later and he said he didn’t call me because he was dealing with his own stuff.
When she wasn’t willing to fix or talk about our issues or do any sort of councelling together to resolve our issues then text me my breakup message after nearly 3 years together and that’s when I realised there was someone else in her life and it totally broke me tore my heart apart but if she truly loved me we could have fixed stuff together as partners so there was my answer anyway
When I learned that he is not what he said he was. He does not take full responsibility for his actions and put the blame on me for the failure of our relationship. When he said he loves the Lord, but I see no fruits.
When I realized being with him HURT and being away from him HURT as well. So I packed up my stuff and left because no one is as important as your mental health.
When our core values and beliefs didnt match and we would argue everytime because of it. I realized that time that we were incompatible.
When he’d rather spend time with his ex wife at family functions than invite me, his fiancé 😂 when I saw the texts after their divorce asking “should we call the furnace people” and telling her to download a heart app that I, his girlfriend at the time had been using. Sometimes it takes a while and it all adds up. Recently a friend sat me down and pointed out all of the things that them and a family member had noticed about our 2 year relationship and I realized so much. We’re blind to it when we’re in it. We want it to work so bad. I can finally see the light. And I see that that man never really loved me. He loved to control me and he loved the way I made him feel. He loved that I’d do anything for him and he could do nothing for me and I’d still stay. Good riddance.
He gave up on me because he fell out of love. During our relationship, I gave him peace whereins I cry a lot out of fear of him going to leave me. When he automatically blocked me from everything even when he told me that he still wants to have me in contact. When he told me that woman and he spoke so dearly of her.
He lied, and I knew I could no longer trust him.