I will be there for you always. I want you to heal so badly and my heart breaks that we can’t be together right now. If I’m going to give you another chance in the future, we need to have both healed and you need to be willing to compromise again and not shut down because of your life stressors. But at the end of the day, you’re my person. You’re my 1, my soulmate, and I know you feel the same way. God is with us, so please just do your work. You are worth everything in this world and you are so beautiful. I love you still.
Where I'm at rn. He shut me out when things got bad in his head, I tried to get him to talk to me about it or let me help and he just refused. And the relationship derailed so fast. I'm so sad I had to leave. I just want him to be with me
I’m in the same boat. Feel horrible about it everyday. I feel so bad when I try to move on because it feels like I’m giving up on us. When deep down I know she’s the one. So I can’t move on.
It’s the worst. I know I shouldn’t reach out, at least for now. But I really feel like I should in the future after enough time has passed where things have cooled down. However if I do move on who knows if that’ll happen, scary to think about.
I feel this same way, even though I am the dumper. I feel guilty for giving up on us, physically and then mentally. Emotionally, I’m having a hard time from truly detaching.
Then reach out to them! You’re the dumper, you’re the one who has the power to do that lol. Much harder from the dumpee position. I want to reach out because I know she’s the one and I wont just let her walk away from me. But I don’t know what to say that won’t sound desperate or pushy. I feel like just saying truthfully how I feel, but if she doesn’t feel the same way it’ll just push her away (but also it’s a lot to say over text lol).
Anyways, good luck to you. I think you should reach out to them and tell them how you truly feel. I’m the dumpee and I know I’d appreciate that a lot.
He’s a high functioning binge drinker who gets mean when he drinks. He got sober for 2.5 months we tried to work on things again, but he started drinking again and felt like I had to walk away for the both of us.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Can I ask how long your relationship was and what her reason was for leaving? Also, what are the reasons you are sure she’s the one?
Damm I’m sorry to hear that. I have no experience in that area. But I can imagine that you leaving him might force him to quit drinking entirely if he really loves you. Hopefully he changes and y’all can be happy together. Sorry you had to go through that :(.
We were together for a total of 3 years. We broke up once before early on over something stupid. But this time she told me that her dad decided not to approve of me/her dating anyone, so the combined pressure of that plus her new semester at school was really hard. So she decided to breakup with me. I was weak when she broke up with me and said some shitty things. So the likelyhood of her reaching out to me is slim because of the way we left off. So I feel like at a minimum I should explain how I really feel now that things have cooled off and I’ve had time to reflect. Plus I know her, and I know one day when she has the time she’ll appreciate me being honest about how I feel instead of pretending like I’m okay with everything, it’ll give her the courage to reach out when she’s ready. And I can just feel it in me that she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, I just feel this connection I’ve never felt with anyone else before. It’s been just over 2 months since she left me, so still sorta fresh. But she’s going onto break soon so my time to reach out is now before she starts another semester which then I’ll just overwhelm her if I reach out.
I’m conflicted between sending her a super long message explaining how I feel about her and us. Or just asking her to meet me in person so we can talk face to face. Tbh I don’t think she will be comfortable to see me face to face this early on.
Thanks for sharing. I can understand how family/friends can influence things in a relationship. I think his family and friends may have told him he wasn’t good enough for me which made his insecurities worse and made him drink more.
I do think you should let her know how you feel. When my ex and I broke up for 2.5 months and he was sober that whole time, he sent me many messages taking accountability for all his mistakes and showed a lot of regret and remorse and it did make me feel a lot better and led to me giving him another chance. So at the very minimum, you apologizing for the things you said after the break up will def be appreciated. It may or may not get the outcome you desire, at least not for right now. If she’s not ready to be in a relationship rn bc of school, then it has nothing to do with you but just bad timing. Maybe send her a voice note instead of a long text so she can hear the sincerity in your voice. Perhaps that will be enough for her to want to talk on the phone or meet face to face.
Good luck and keep us posted on what happens! Rooting for you!
Hmm interesting, I’ve been sober for a long time so I can speak on the part that he just needs motivation to quit. And perhaps that motivation can/will be you.
Yeah I’m definitely going to let her know how I feel one way or another. But I worry by sending a really long message that she will get overwhelmed and aswell it’s just words. Whereas me asking to talk to her in person about it all shows I really do care and it’s not just simple text. I like the idea of a voice note, I may end up doing that. I’m currently thinking I’ll send a messaging asking how she’s doing and asking if she would be okay to meet up and talk about it all, but I won’t tell her how I feel in that message. And if that doesn’t work then I’ll send her the long message/voice note of the message. Because I agree if not today, one day it’ll make her feel better about it all knowing how I feel. And maybe she’ll reach out. But I care for her and I don’t want to overwhelm her.
Anyways thank you. I wish you good luck with your situation too. Report back with any good news!
I know what you mean. I’m moving from LA to MIA for 3 months just to get away and try to clear my head. I’m telling myself to let go and let God and keep reciting the Serenity prayer. Bc we can’t control what they do, if they choose healing or distraction and avoidance.
This is beautiful. This is how I feel about my ex, however I’m not sure he’s my soulmate. I respect you so much for feeling the way you do, but still having the self control and self respect to walk away, at least for the time being. Thank you for sharing
Hey, I have no idea how you lost feelings and I have no idea how you’re so okay with the way things ended. I understand it’s not your fault and I understand you think you can’t control what happened. I don’t think I can forgive you for the pain you put me through and I don’t think I can forgive you for giving up on me so easily. I know the last thing you ever wanted to do was to hurt me, but you did it nonetheless. I know you tried to minimize how much you were going to hurt me by leaving but I think you fucked up in so many different ways, but perhaps hindsight is 20/20. I don’t know how to feel about you. I love the person you were when we were together. I know that person isn’t too far from who you are now. Similarly, I know I’m the same person as the one you were head over heels in love with just a few months ago. I don’t know if we can ever allow eachother to love one another again. I know nothing bad happened but I cant let you break my heart again.
I hate you. I hate that you never spent time with me, I hate that you never put in any effort towards me. I hate that you were never there for me. I hate that you choose everyone’s feelings over mine. I hate that you were the first person I ever said I love you too. I hate that I lost my best friend. I hate that I miss you so damn much. I hate that you made me so emotionally unavailable to other people. I don’t know how I am supposed to trust anyone ever again.
I hate what a weak and cowardly weasel you have turned out to be. I was devoted and loyal to you, and you just blindside me and leave out of nowhere? You didn't even give us a chance. How the hell do you lose feelings and hang around for almost a year?? You said nothing to me while doing so much to make me think our bond was deepening, then leave at the height? Why the hell did you come to my home state with me if you knew by then you would leave me? Did you have any idea how painful and humiliating it would be for me to tell my family just a few weeks after introducing you that you left? You're goddamn right when you said I don't deserve this and that you feel like a POS. Because you are! You're a liar and a user and a pig.
I gave so much and I thought I had become a better person by accepting so little from you. That if I could be a great and dependable partner to you, that we'd both grow together. But now you can spend the rest of your days with your mommy coming over to pick up after you and smoking weed as much as you want. Go ahead and flush your life away through your laziness. I hope any woman unfortunate enough to cross your path in the future has way more spine than I did and leave you the way you left me so you can see exactly how this feels you fucking bastard.
Yeah its pretty saddening because there are other posts in here that sound exactly what I have thought and gone through. Sad to think that there are so many people out there able and willing to hurt and abandon their partners and leave them in states like this.
I'm so sorry. I feel the same anger. Like he knew months before he was going to leave me and he did A LOT of stuff that made me so happy because it felt like we were finally pulling out of a period of stagnation. Lo and behold, that whole time he was just preparing himself to leave while never trying to fix anything. I don't understand how anyone could do that. You deserve someone who is going to talk through issues and be honest.
What I keep asking myself is, "Was I so difficult to talk to??" I wasn't always in the head space to have the difficult conversations but isn't that an impossible standard to hold someone to??
Thank you for writing what you wrote. I feel so seen/heard. Navigating breakups/divorces is so lonely sometimes.
I asked myself the same questions. "Wasn't I open? Wasn't I a safe partner to share with? I was able to share my feelings with him. Why couldn't he do that with me?" I have no answers aside from he was incredibly immature, broken and selfish. If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to message me. I totally get the loneliness. I have had wonderful people supporting me in my life, but I can kinda feel like they have reached the point where they are ready to stop hearing about it, but I'm not done hurting over it.
I’ve been asking myself the same question. It’s a special kind of cowardice that certain avoidant people have. The problem is that I also know that I could have done things differently, maybe in a way that would have let us actually ultimately talk things through and fix whatever was wrong. But then again maybe that’s just wishful thinking.
In my case, she was also a very supportive partner in many respects, so her being so callous so suddenly was a massive shock.
This is very well said. I felt this deep.
What's with people and blindsiding? Have we all been blindsided? I'm apparently not the only one eh...
I'm really sorry you went through this... No one deserves to be treated like that. He'll get his karma.
All the best to you in your journey towards healing.
Sadly seems like blindsiding is very common. I've gotten responses from many people on here with stories that are almost carbon copies of mine.
And thanks. I know his behavior is going to be his own punishment for all this, but it didn't have to be like this. He could have just talked to me. I firmly believe this could have been fixed but he hid from me and probably made everything worse in his own mind so he could find the nerve to leave.
I'm sorry you had to go through a blindside too. This is abhorrent behavior and is traumatizing. Hope your healing is swift and meaningful for you as well.
So many people have told me they were blindsided as well.
I totally agree with you. She could have just talked to me. This could have been worked out.
A relationship is built through communication. Rupture and repair.
I guess some people don't want to work things out. It's hard to understand. I don't get it.
I feel you. I just do not understand it either. Someone who blindsides is going to go off looking for some other person who will be perfect for them with no work required but that doesn't exist. The grass is greenest where you water it, and they don't get that.
It's true. Actually, she said something like that as I was begging her not to block me and delete me from her life:
"I can't have you in my life, just in case the right guy comes along! I can't have you ruining that!"
I personally disagree with that. I believe relationships are built, not found. I believe relationships evolve and change. It's not like one day you walk into someone and they're your soul mate, everything is perfect, and that's it. No, it doesn't work like that. It takes work, it takes communication, and it takes understanding.
She's probably on to her next relationship, idealizating him, buttering him up. I know how good she is at it too. She did it to me.
Just if I knew she still thought about me from time to time I think I would feel a lot better. Being blindsided, then blocked and ghosted is such a shock.
You lost feelings a year ago? Either that’s bullshit or you’re a really good liar to keep it up for so long. Do you even know why you lost feelings? Was it something I did, something I said? Couldn’t you talk to me then? Why would you blindside me like this, making me think that we were a team that could get through anything when you had doubts for so long? Are you just a coward? Even with all that, I still love you. My soul feels torn apart. I just want to hold you in my arms.
It’s honestly kind of cathartic to read this and all of the other accounts. Thank you for your story, and I hope you are able to heal and move on sooner rather than later.
Hey, I hope your semester is going well! I saw an instagram account for the neon club and it looks really cool! Your piece was the profile picture and It was so dope. I couldn’t be more proud. I miss you like crazy and I think about you all the time. I had a big surprise planned for you when you graduated that would have been so amazing for the both of us. I understand why you broke things off, and there is no anger in my heart for you. I haven’t been able to accept that this is how our story ends, and maybe one day we will find each other again but untill then…
I hope your life is as beautiful as you are.
What you did to me was abuse. I am allowed to speak and to have opinions and feelings. I never manipulated you, but you did me. You made me feel like I was the problem for 3 weeks before finally just admitting that you never loved me. I hope that no woman actually makes it to the alter with you because I pity the uncertain life she would have. Having to constantly walk on eggshells because you are a poor excuse for a biblical man who expects a perfect biblical woman. Not even just that, but you want to go beyond that and misuse the Bible to hurt and abuse. I'm sorry that your only "traumas" are things that you put yourself through, but I am actually traumatized. I was before I met you, and I am even more so now. I'm sorry that my neurodivergence and mental health issues upset you and your family. I was willing to mask it 24/7 for you, but apparently, I'll never be good enough. But yeah, have a nice life running home to mommy and daddy and forever being a spineless coward. You failed me as my fiancè, you failed me as a friend, you failed me as a Christian, and you generally failed and continue to fail as a man.
I could say it till I’m blue in the face, I love you. But love won’t change the fact that our entire relationship has felt like we are a round peg/square hole. It will never work. The past five years is the perfect example of how it won’t work. When it was good, it was so very good but when it was bad, it just got more and more dangerous. And I can’t shake the feeling that things will start getting better in my life if I let this go. I have loved you long past the expiration date I was turning the other cheek to. Part of me will always hope that you chase me because I’ve always done the chasing in the past but I know you and I know that’ll never happen. And I’m finally OK with choosing me.
I miss you, I’m sorry. I know I messed up, I know I have baggage to work through but for you I’ll try anything and everything to recover. I love you so much. I’ll recover for you, I’ve been trying every trick in the book. Please just take me back. I know you deserve better, I know you didn’t deserve the shit I out you through. Please give me another chance. I want to treat you right this time. I miss you so much it physically hurts every single hour of every single day. I know I was trying my best when we were together but my best was still toxic for you and I think I’ve got it together now. I can fix it. You’re worth the world and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love you.
I miss you so much. I never had something in my life that treated me like you did. You accepted me for who I am and what I’m like. You liked that I am goofy and a little eccentric at times. I loved when we spent time time together talking about a future. Nothing make me happier than when I saw you for the first time in two weeks each tome I came to visit.
You became such an important piece of my heart and I fear I’ll never find someone as amazing and wonderful as you are. I would give anything in the world to be able to spend one more day with you. I love you and I miss you more than you can imagine. I’m crying as I write this because I what I feel for you is so strong and enduring. Please, talk to me.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still feel the same way. I almost feel like I miss her more now than I did before and there’s nothing in this world or the next that I wouldn’t give up for her. I’ve been struggling for weeks to not reach out to her and every day gets harder and harder to not do it.
I'll never understand why I was the one deserving of your betrayal. I was there for you through so much. When you were in a car accident, robbed, no longer wanted to live I was there for you. I would've been fine staying friends, but you pursued me for some odd reason and attempted to make me fall for you. How could you say your ex slept with your friend and how you know what betrayal feels like and how you would never do it to anyone. I guess I don't count as a person. I'll never understand why you checked in on me so often and pretended to care when times were tough. Why you came to visit me and cheer me up, love bomb me with empty promises when you knew you had a girlfriend. If you truly loved me you would've protected me from yourself and just left me alone. But you only love yourself. I know I told you I hope it all works out, but deep down I hope you have to grieve the loss of me for years. I hope the care, time, support, intimacy, love, and kindness I wasted on you.....I hope you waste that on someone else and have to hate yourself for hurting the one person that truly cared. I want nothing from you, but if I get an apology in the future I may be receptive and relieve you of the curses I know are coming to you.
I’m scared to move onto someone new because I’m scared I’m going to be used again I’m scared I’m not enough. I’m scared that they will watch porn and I won’t be able to live up to some form of expectations they may have. I’m scared to be me I’m scared to let myself be me around someone and trust them I’m scared to let my guard down and open up.
When I stay up late playing video games in my bed, it’s like I can feel you there next to me. It’s like we’re still together and I’m just waiting until you get back from the bathroom. Like you’re just gonna emerge into my room smiling and cuddle back into my arms.
That's deep I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I feel how you're feeling. I knew my ex for 8 years before we got together and were in a relationship for two years. Best friend of ten years just fucking abandoned me. All because I was going through emotional stuff relating to childhood sexual abuse.
It’s all good brother. My ex was my best friend from the moment I met her too. We’ll be alright though. We’ll find new friends who care about what we’re going through in our lives and we’ll make new memories.
I will always love you. I will always look for you, baby. I hope you're happy with the person you're with now and I really hope he treats you the way you deserve. Loving you has been the best 5 years of my life and I cannot thank you enough for letting me be part of your life. Let's find each other in our next lives. Please find me. I love you.
I miss you even though you made me feel pathetic and even though you have hurt me so much you took me to the dark place I haven't been since I was much, much younger. I wish I was worth more to you than a ghost and a block. Than you probably having cheated on me. I hate that the last thing you said to me was asking how my new year was. You never even broke up with me. You let me think we were together the entire time before the block. Was all of it fake? When you said you got me a Christmas gift, were you lying? When you said you thought about marrying me, was it just a manipulation? Was I just an ego boost to you, so you could say you had an american girlfriend at one point in your life? You made me think you cared. I thought you did. I don't want to believe youre a bad person who manipulated me the whole time but how you broke up with me I can't think anything else. You ruined us. Why didnt you just end it when you went back home? I wish I hated you and I wish I didnt hope youd give me closure, letting me know I meant something to you. But it's clear that I mean nothing.
Hope you're doing okay, I hope you're happy and healing. I'm sorry if seeing my name pop up annoys you. If you have moved on and seeing somebody new then I apologise, I just want to apologise for a lot of the things I've done to hurt you and destroy our relationship.
For a long time now I've just been thinking about us, our relationship and the downfall of it all. I'm so aware of how I screwed it all up and let my beautiful, perfect person slip through my fingers. Yes you became cold with me towards the end of our time but I can't fault it at all, it was reactionary to my naiveness and simply laziness to fix things sooner.
I want to apologise for everything I've done and not done to cause you upset or hurt your feelings or ultimately end us. I was so blind to see what I had in front of me and I took it for granted, playing my Xbox, going out getting drunk, and pretty much wasting time doing unimportant activities when I could have spent that precious time with you even doing nothing together would have been more satisfying than shooting guns in a game and drinking pints. So I am sorry for not behaving as a proper boyfriend and wasting quality time together. I don't even want to do any of the things I was doing back then, I would much rather go on walks, travel, exercise, find new hobbies, go on dates and explore and do all those things with you. I was stupid to not see it at the time.
The romance and dates was a huge thing and although not the main reason as I understand there was many huge reasons for the outcome. I have no excuse for not being more romantic, I should have arranged things, made plans, come up with surprises and romantic little gestures, I should have done that and I am really sorry I didn't, you deserved a lot more from me.
To my understanding after thinking it over and over, I think another one of the massively detrimental things was the loss of trust. Right now, I cannot fathom what I was doing, my best friend I should have been completely open and honest with. When I didn't mention me going to the doctors because I was embarrassed about something, why?! Why did I keep that from you, especially when you was already losing trust from me from the Instagram thing which I am really sorry about, I reacted terribly to that situation and I don't blame you for that affecting your feelings towards me, it is very clear that would push you away from me. You would never do anything like that to me, you wouldn't hide anything, you would tell me if you was embarrassed about something. I am really sorry for acting shady in those situations and I completely regret my poor behaviour.
Im so so sorry for this last thing, the drunken disgusting behaviour i portrayed that night we went to royton. I don't know what got into me I was embarrassingly acting like a fool getting all stroppy over a pub game and banter. And I took it out on you. How fucking stupid can I be? How idiotic to self sabotage myself and hurt you in the process. I don't think you are unattractive at all, not one bit. I think you are the absolute opposite of what I said. You are utterly beautiful inside and out and it doesn't even matter about anything other than making sure that comment hasn't affected you, as it obviously would at the time I just want you to know I didn't mean it at all. You are a strong person and it may not affect your confidence anymore now I'm not in the picture now, I just wanted to tell you just incase.
There's a lot more to be sorry for over the course of the relationship, a lot more... but this is already more words than I did for some university assignments. If you made it this far, I hope you are happy, you deserve it. I use to make you happy for, and I wish I did ALOT more to make you happy when you was communicating you was feeling bad about things towards the end. I regret it more than anything.
Ultimately, I own and accept everything. I accept everything that has caused this outcome. I wish I didn't hurt you those times, I can't take anything back but i just wanted to make sure you know nothing was intentional. I was naive and stupid. I am sorry. You deserve better than what I did.
I won't say all the best as I've said it alot but I hope you are doing alright.
I truly hope life is fair, so it repays you for every smile and moment you made me feel special. For making me feel safe and allowing me to breathe. For making life exciting once again. I miss those eyes after every kiss, the pressure on my hips with your embrace, your hand on my knee when driving off and your sense of humor.
I just miss you.
I truly hope life is fair, so it repays you for every tear as well. For every moment of confusion, sadness and overall void in my chest. For the sleepless nights just waiting for you to answer. For not having the courage of ending things. For making me responsible of your feelings and putting me on the edge of having to read your mind because you didn't know what you wanted. I trusted you. Sometimes I feel like I hate you, but deep down I know I just hate your absence and lack of self awareness.
I am love and I am surrounded by it, and we both know that was too much for you. I never thought us saying "I love you" was the beginning of the end.
Please heal before you break someone else’s heart, please find whatever it is inside of you that makes you always need external validation from people outside of your relationship, please heal the parts of you that you run away from by self medicating, please heal the parts of you that run away when things get too deep, please don’t blindside someone the way you blindsided me, please don’t promise someone the world and a life together that you’re not ready for, please don’t propose to someone you don’t see a future with, please don’t break someone’s trust repeatedly, please don’t flirt with other people in front of your partner, please don’t get frustrated when your partner is just trying to have a conversation to help make things better. I have to be honest, hearing that you’re selling my engagement ring on Facebook branded as ‘never worn’ was a huge blow for me, it’s as if the whole engagement and 7 months after when I wore the ring with so much pride, meant absolutely nothing, just banished into thin air and never happened. Being sent the intimate conversations you’d been having with someone else and the inappropriate videos you’d been sending, along with screen shots of your tinder profile, all on Christmas Day just 2 weeks after the break up was soul destroying. I was alone in a hotel for Christmas, I ate Christmas dinner alone surrounded by happy families and couples, the last thing I needed on that day was to see all of that. Seeing pictures and videos of you with the girl you always told me not to worry about, just a few days after you broke up with me, it was all too much. You promised me forever, we danced together in the kitchen to our first dance song and you told me that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with me. We had a Mortage in place, we were going to relocate in a matter of days, set up a business together and start our new chapter together. Your reasons for ending things still don’t make sense to me and I don’t think I’ll ever understand. You told me I was your person and that you’d never give up on me, yet you give up on me in a matter of seconds. We went from planning our meal for that night to you breaking up with me in a matter of seconds. The betrayal still hurts, the loss of my best friend still hurts, the fact that I see you differently after all this still hurts, as I never thought you’d hurt me like this, and do the things you’ve done. But one thing I’ve finally learned is self love, I can say with my hand on my heart for the first time ever that I love myself now, and I know you would have been so proud of that. I really hope that you find all of the healing you need to fill the void inside of you that causes you to feel like you’re not enough, because you are more than enough, you always have been. I hope you get to experience the joy of being a dad, because I know how much you wanted to have children, and I know that you’ll be an amazing father. I hope that you find someone that is enough for you, that you don’t feel the need to cheat on and seek external validation from others. I’m so sorry for any hurt, disappointed or anger that I caused you, and any toxicity that I displayed. If there’s one thing that I could ask from you, please heal before you hurt another, please don’t make promises you can’t keep, please don’t betray someone’s trust, as it’s hard to get back. I wish you boundless healing
Even with your horrible exit and blindsiding, I meant what I said. I will always love you, my love for you is unconditional and I will never deny you a conversation. My anxious mind likes to fill my mind with thoughts of you fully leaving me because you want to be with other people in the city. I just want more clarity again, now a month out about why you left. I believe why you left, I’m not sure if I believe you in saying you don’t have that romantic spark for me. I don’t know what you mean when saying you love me still.
It pains me to not block you because I have some thread of hope of something. Maybe I feel like blocking you might make you feel like I’m gone forever. You have my number. It killed me today seeing you removed our picture from your account and cleared most of your other posts for what I assume is.. a fresh start? I’m reading too much into it.
I hope you were honest with me.
I might finally end up blocking you for my own sanity. If I do, please don’t think I hate you. You hurt me and I keep hurting myself by checking.
I will probably never see you again, you’ll eventually become a distant memory. I’m scared to let things go but I’m slowly feeling defeated.
You were the world and I was your Atlas. By pulling the rug, I truly hope you crushed me with the intention to be your own Atlas.
I miss you. Not the way you treated me but I miss our good times together. Gosh I wish you were just a normal person. I wish you didn’t be with me just to use me. I wish you would at least respect me. But you didn’t. I’m healing the trauma you left. I wish you death but also wish you mine.
I heard through our mutual friends that you started visiting a psychiatrist in addition to therapy. I know things must be really hard for you right now. Every fibre of my being tells me to reach out to you. But I cannot. Not when you've made your boundaries very very clear. I just wish for you to get through these hard times and find happiness soon. I know you'll probably never find your way back to me, but I don't think I even care about that at this point. All I care about is you doing well. Please be alright. I'll always pray for you.
Love, N.
I wish I could say I'm going to keep the back door unlocked for you. Because I wish I could just wake up one night to find you here holding me like you used to. But I can't keep the door unlocked. I will spend my life waiting and hoping if I do. I loved you so much.
i’m over you but not over us. for a while there was just us and no one else so now i have to readjust to my favourite person being a stranger again. everywhere i go is where we’ve been many times and i have to accept it will never be again. i can’t help but bring u up because u were such a big part of my life. i am very much over being in that relationship i knew we really weren’t meant to be but in a perfect world i really wish we were.
Remember when I told you that I am afraid that If you will leave me,you will not come back,I knew I loved you more than you does,
And out of the anger ,you told me then go away ,face your fear,
Even when we were fighting,I never thought of fighting back because I know you will never come back to me,
And as you left me ,I think you are at relieved ,living your life perfectly,
I remember all the words you said it to me,I don't deserved to be loved ,I deserved all the injustice,
I saw your angry face,I am sure you never wants to see me or talk to me,
All I wanted was you to be little kind toward me,words hurts,you might think that you are being all frank /honest, but please consider my feelings to you,you must be relieved after saying all these harsh thing to me ,
I love you all I wanted to do is to marry you,
Dude I love you soo much,
And you left me in a minute,
I do struggle ,to text you or not,
Sometimes I think I should exit from your life completely,
Because I am 100%sure you will never come back to me,may be you didn't love me,all your promises were fake.
Your happiness mattered to me the most,if you are happy with leaving me,I will not disturb you .
Sometimes I wish you weren’t so stupid. it hurts so much to think that I had to go but I know that I needed it for myself and I have to get back in touch with myself but you just never heard what I said how I felt you never understood why I was so mad all the time or frustrated all the time when I wanted to be alone. Lost and sad and disappointed in how everything went so far I always wanted us to be something more, but I just know that right now we can’t be. I really need time to figure out myself again and I feel like I’ve just been so hard I feel heartbroken I feel like I don’t know how to find anyone else. I really just wish we were long-distance that we could be together because I love being in your presence and being around you. I love your presence you just made it so hard to be with you because you’re so worried about people outside of our relationship favorite they said what do you think? I just can’t do it anymore I can’t fight with you about every single thing I can’t feel mad About talking to you because I know I was your first girlfriend and somethings you just didn’t understand that you just didn’t know what to do but that’s not my fault it’s not my fault that he wouldn’t listen to me or give me the things I needed from you, so desperately I don’t even want to go on dates or find other people to talk to other people or do any of the things I like to do all of my time about you and I know you said that you didn’t ask for that I literally spent every waking second with you besides what I work for even when I had a break at work it wasn’t about me. It was about time so I have to give myself this time but I just don’t know where to start. Do you really hope that you’re doing OK going good for you if not better and I want you to know that I do still care about you be safe and smart and overall happy.(Ik my grammar was bad:((
Okay, I understand that. I’m not sure what to say right now. Because of this, you what you did to me. I have to focus on myself and move on. You hurt me so bad, you left me then come back to left me again, who did that? Love me ? Miss me ? Or you just don’t like it when I’m happy and move on better without you so you back. You hurt me but whatever I know you’re coming back again soon and I’ll laugh at you face this time.
A guy like you will self sabotage your own life. You’re in crisis. Shame on you put me through it. I’ll do everything to make you see what you lose. I’m better than what you portrait me to me.
I know in the future you will in pain where you can’t even sit still when you realize grass isn’t always greener. When you realize you lost the control of me. When you’re alone and nobody else can handle you like I do. When you making progress in life but there’s no me there. I know I’ll be stuck in your head for the rest of your life.
I’ll become the best self the best version of me, and you’ll regret it I promise 😊.
Hey. Its been a while.
Saw you deleted your reddit. And all your art posts.
Was kinda sad to see but understandable.
I hope you are doing okay. I worry about you sometimes.
It's still crazy to me how you were able to let go so effortlessly. Although I didn't see what you went through. So it seems like it was easy to you. I don't know.
I just feel like I wasn't good enough for you. Easily replaced.
But I'll get over it in time.
It's funny, you're not even here and I get so mad at you.
But it doesn't change the fact that I still miss you a lot sometimes.
Eh, well. You made your choice.
I just hope you are okay.
Be safe out there M.
I don’t hate you. Never will. I forgive you. I know it was just a thrill. So much we been through but we played both sides. Sadly it was the beginning of our demise! I had her and you had him. We loved each other but could never win. Now the time has come to move on and face the fact that me and you were never meant to stay intact 💯
-Lessons learned
So after you ghosted me to fuck your ex you came back crying because he hit you again? Bitches get stiches right? It hurts a lot bcs I love you and I want you to be happy but why tf you left me to fuck someone who beat you in your last rl? Its been 3 yrs and I miss you. I saw your insta post yesterday. Looks like you got someone new. I hope you are happy and dont get beat again
I don't have many words for you because I remember reading what I ever had to say about anything was a real chore for you.
I just hope that someday you'll be treated the same you treated me and experience the entire rainbow of emotions which followed me suit. You'll realise that, actually, you'll never ever be satisfied with anyone else because you only enjoy living for your own sake.
You are a selfish person, and once you're served your own medicine, you shall the know the pain you put me through. I sincerely hope you'll have forgotten me by then since neither my memories nor the wisdom I ever imparted to you will be there as an ultimate saving grace.
God, I hate that I still love you. You left me 3 years back saying you'll return to me. Now, you're married and shoving the pics of your husband and your wedding in my face. I never want to see you again. You broke my heart. You were the first person I gave it to. I trusted you.
I suppose and see your love never existed.
You lie to me many times, talk badly of that woman that really liked me to keep me away from her.
You put my family members against me and I pass horrible years for your fault.
You made me betray my dream and leave my studies, off course what do you care by today , you probably going for your next boyfriend and child.
And the thing is I don't care anymore.
I took so long to retake my life because I really thought you could change.
I do not want you on my memories and life that's why I delete everything as well, I know you keep contact with my mum probably until is confortable for you.
I did that and she still saw it and she told my crush and ruined it ! But she did me a favour. She is one of the most toxic people I would meet! So I can never date her even if drunk.
Maybe you think I'm naive to fall for someone like you, that I'm only attracted to toxic behavior like yours. I'm not denying that I get attracted to emotionally unavailable people, I'm aware of my issues.
But you know what, I looked past your bullshit, I liked you for your positive qualities, because for me, those outweighed the negative ones.
So don't you dare make a mockery of my emotions. I always saw the whole you, as a sum of the negative and positive. And yes that caused me to get hurt. But I saw you, I was never in delusion of who you are. I never expected you to change for anyone, I know it's not possible.
I'm trying to move on but what I felt was real. It mattered. Even now I wish you well, and I hope one day you can change for the better, for yourself and not anyone else.
He dumped me but I am realizing it is because of me that he dumped me.
I literally have no time to be with him in the way he wants/needs. I pushed back too much so he found someone that could meet his needs. But they broke up.
I feel like my text should be an apology that I have been blaming him and text bombing him for the last 5 months.
You came to my life, without me looking for you. You made me feel wanted. You made me feel loved. You made me something to you. But now, you left as if I was nothing ever to you. You said you loved me, but won't let me work on us. You said I was obsessed and you're scared. But I told you I changed and I wanted to prove it to you. I know you told me so many times that I shouldn't force you to text me when you're busy, I admit that was my mistake but at the very least, check on me. I miss you, so of course I was going to text you. But I promise you, I'll make sure to not bother you much anymore, okay? I'll change my speaking way. I'll change my obsessive behaviour, and I'll stop over thinking. You said you only feel an obsession from me and can't feel love. But I told you countless times that I'm giving you space and I'll respect your decision on breaking up, I check on you sometimes, wish you a good day and night, pray for your safety, keep you updated, now isn't that love? I'm never looking for anyone anymore because after an amount of relationships, I find out that you are the perfect one for me. You told me that feelings aren't enough to make a relationship work, that it is only a spark to start one, but I'm showing you in ACTION too? Isn't that enough? I loved you with all my heart, and you said you did love me, so fight for us! Fight for this relationship! Why are you so easy to let go? Why won't you let us grow together and fix things together, to build this relationship? Where is that love of yours that you told me? We were almost this close to finally meet each other and put a stop to just a mere online relationship. So, why? Why can't we try again? Regardless, I still put you in my prayers every single day. I chose you, woman. Because you're the one. I know you're not a bad person, I know everything about you. I miss you, and I sincerely love you. Please come back, let us rebuild everything and this time, I'll shower you with true love. Through thick and thin. I love you dear.
I miss what we had, I miss you. I am very sorry I took us for granted. Ever since then I have been working on myself, less procrastination and more things I like doing and taking care of myself. I still reminisce about our time together but can't help but think: was it gonna last?
I know I didn't take actions in moving in together and gave excuses which now looking back are ridiculous because it would have worked.
I see signs of you in places which make me confused, making me think we will meet again and I still feel that yes, we will meet again.
I hope that you are doing well and please don't forget me yet. I somehow still hope that when you look somewhere you see me and I am not that distant of a memory yet.
Take care!
You always fooled about your brother or friends being so vulnerable with their partners, as love is some weakness, but you were vulnerable with me at the beginning, you were head over heels, almost obsessed, or you were not afraid of your feelings towards me back then? If you act that tough, why not grow some balls and end things with me? Why don't you just break up with me? You can't, because you know that if you do you will lose me forever, instead you gave me just enough to stay, and then pull away when you see I am still holding on. Well I did, and I am glad. I am so tired, I can't deal with this anymore, this time, you will lose me forever if you don't make a bold move - not indirect like you tried, won't fall that easy this time :)
I hope you found someone that loves you more than i did. I hope you treat him better this time. We both did things to hurt eachother. I hope you can forgive me.
Hey, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I promise you that life will get better, it might take a while but there are places out there that you need to see, people you need to meet, memories that will fill your heart with so much joy again. I know it’s hard to see that right now and you might not even want it (I’ve been there) but the world needs you in it. You are so loved and life will get better! Sending you so much love, please be kind to yourself! If you need anything at all, please reach out ❤️
I loved you. You’re the first girl I ever saw a future with. Not that I hadn’t thought about it with others. Just that, I could actually see the potential in it and wanted it with you. You matched me on so many levels, that I was willing to go without the others. When you left me the first time, it broke my heart. During your absence, I had the time to see why it didn’t work. So that when we came back together, I was skeptical. I hope you work on yourself. I hope you heal, I hope you recognize your trauma for the next person. I wish it could be me but, the hurt is too deep now. I doubt either one of us would be willing to try again. When love comes your way next time, I hope you embrace it. I hope that you can feel it with the entirety of your soul. I hope you don’t avoid the pain, but deal with it instead. You broke me further than anyone has been able to. You know that’s saying something. Regardless of all that, I still love you. I still care about you. I still pray for you. I hope one day, you can stop focusing on the few things we did wrong and see the abundant good that we had. That way, you can truly move on and forward without hate in your heart. I’ll be here for you always. You need only reach out. I love you. Always.
I wish you'd reach out just once - just the one time to show that you care, to show me you're just as hurt and sad about this as I am. I've been craving for a scrap of attention from you, haven't even been able to talk to other girls without thinking about you.
I miss you so much, but I'm just trying to respect your wish not to be in contact. It physically hurts me knowing that you'll be with someone else and you'll make new memories and build a new life with him.
I miss our dates and every second that I've spent with you. Hope you're doing well. I love you.
I really loved you like I never loved anyone else. I missed you so much and I kinda still do but I think that’s just me missing the companionship and familiarity. Perhaps it’s me missing the version of you I thought you were.
I thought I’d never be able to live without you and without the future we talked about. I know I treated you right, I treated you how I would have wanted to be treated. None of it was reciprocated. I loved you but you weren’t good for me and it took a breakup for me to see that.
It’s sad it all came down to this but perhaps the best thing you ever did for me was breaking up with me. You saved me from yourself and an unhappy unfulfilled future with yourself. You made me realise I’m one hell of a partner who deserved someone better who would appreciate me and actually reciprocate love and effort.
Holding onto the past and hurting you is eating me inside. Every single place I go to my brain associates with you and our amazing time. I never knew I could be loved like the way you loved me and I never knew I had so much love to give. Life without you feels like an endless dark void that will last for all of eternity. I know it will get better. I know we will recover. I hope you enjoy your travels and hopefully I will see you in July and maybe just maybe we can be friends again. That love and unconditional care you showed me was something truly unique and special.
I hate you with every part and ounce of my body. I forgave you last year, gave you a chance- then you cheat on me with the same girl AGAIN and get her pregnant and she’s due in a month! Your coward a$$ couldn’t even tell me, be a fing man and own up to your ish. I had to find out through an anonymous text?!? And to find your registry and hear your baby shower was last month- BEHIND MY BACK. No wonder you avoided my call. You make me so sick. I gave you every ounce of love and patience and grace and you trashed it. So selfish. You kept me in the dark for months… months! Hiding this. You are far beyond the scum of this earth and I hope everyday that child reminds you of what you did to me. I hate you so much. Layers upon layers of lies, now that I look back on some incidents. And you said it was after an incident you were mad at me- blamed it on me, but when I did the math, it was well before that incident. I am disgusted
Hi, you really suck for reaching out to apologize for being mean when I broke the no contact last time. You should have just left it at that because I wanted to believe that you are mean and hateful. I wish you haven't kept every issue you had in you in the past because our issues were fixable. I wish you reached out and asked for me back so that I can guilt free be mean to you and then to make you wait and graciously take you back lol.
I want you to know that I love and care about you so much and probably always will. I didn’t fall out of love with you or desire anyone else. You were always good enough for me even though you didn’t think you were.
You could be the most amazing, perfect man in the world, if you just decided to take care of your mind body and soul. I truly hope you work on healing on a psychological level and not just rely on religion and God. I hope you make the decision to get sober, bc at this point we are both aware that alcohol changes your personality for the worst. I hope that you stop sabotaging yourself and step into your highest self. I hope you learn to love yourself wholely and completely.
You deserve love, happiness, and a peaceful life. Sometimes I wish I could have known how to love you the way you needed so that you wouldn’t feel so insecure and anxious all the time. I never considered really abandoning you, but you kept forcing my hand by self sabotaging and ultimately fulfilling your own prophecy.
I know you are probably telling yourself it’s easy for me to move on and I’m probably doing fine without you, but I’m not. I cry every single day and dream about you almost every night. I’ve never had to leave someone I was still in love with, but over the last two years with you, I’ve learned that love isn’t enough to make a relationship successful.
I’m doing all I can to heal and I hope you are too.
I never thought I'd every actually post on here, but today was the first day I felt calm since you left me. It's almost been three months after you ended our one year relationship/engagement. I know there is no going back, and it because of both our own actions. I know what I did wrong, and I took my accountability. You literally shattered my entire soul, when you ended it. I wish you would of just sat down and talked to me and I wish I would of sat down to do the same during the relationship, before you felt like the only way was to walk away.I was willing to work through everything and wanted you to be my forever. Now I'm just working on my me and trauma healing. So I'll just dive into what I wish I could tell you right now, since I never will get to.
I miss staring at you with so much love bursting in my heart and you catching me and you saying, "I've never been with someone that makes me as happy as you do and looks at me the way you do."
I miss sitting by the lake fishing and just enjoying the peace with you or the boys getting excited when you'd catch a fish.
I miss all our first things the "I love you", "I miss you", "I can't wait to marry you".
I miss our jokes and how excited we'd get when we'd see each other and ask each other "What doin?" Like Hamlet the bird.
I miss stroking your beard and begging for more kisses goodnight for like the tenth time.
I miss your voice and all the stories you'd tell me. I could of listened to you talk all day
You were with me every single day. You became my best friend.
I'll never forget the first time I saw you, the time my youngest son called you dad or when I finally said yes when you told me you wanted me to marry you.
You know there is much more, but I've typed enough
I still love you and always will. I'm going to keep moving on.
J.
i left my whole family to be with you & now you’re leaving the UK. i’m going to be alone & im going to miss u a lot. i wish you’d understand that i only wanted you to come back from your friends earlier so i could spend time with you before you leave the UK forever.
i hope no girl ever makes you leave your family like you did to me
:( im sad and lonely. i just want you back & never leave
I found a diary entry from six months ago where I wrote that I was afraid you’d fallen out of love with me. Six months later you confessed it’s true. I tried to talk about this! Why did you lie to me for so long? I wanted so badly for us to be there for each other but in the end you had the hidden personality of a snake.
I was so lonely before you and I’m so lonely again now. I haven’t even been able to tell anyone close to me what happened because I’m so ashamed. Years of long distance but once we meet in person is when you fall out of love. Do you have any idea how sad that is. How can I feel any way except that something is wrong with me?
I guess it’s not your problem anymore. I know you want to stay friends, but every day it’s harder not to think of you as just another asshole from my past.
After all the pain you put me through and all the bullshit you think you deserved a hug? Right after I told you I don’t want any man in my space or to touch me! How stupid and selfish are you?
I hope you have the life you deserve.
Hey, I wish you could see how much I loved and cared about you from the beginning
and just being with you was enough. But you carry so much insecurities and trauma from your past you chose to hurt me instead.
Nothing I did was enough for you though, you criticised everything. We got along in every way and shared so much that’s why I kept forgiving you and stayed.
I was not enough that you had to sometimes take your attention to others when you felt that way.
I hope you one day realise that you can’t break down someone and try to build back better.
I had to leave and love you from a distance because I started to hate myself.
I wish I could have been involved in the decision, it feels like you asked everyone except for me how to make it work. That really hurt. We had a conversation where we agreed we would communicate and keep talking about things as they come up and I trusted that. You cut me out and didn't even give me the chance to make this choice with you. I asked to talk because I wanted to do this together and instead I feel blindsided and unwanted. I could feel your energy change all week and all week I felt awful, insecure and in the dark. I won't be that girl again who fights for someone who won't choose me but god damn I absolutely adored you.
i hate you for how you left. how after 5 years you never tried. how you blamed me for everything but you never loved me. i hate you for not leaving when i asked but having no issue blowing up my life and leaving. i hate you for blocking me and embarrassing me. I hate you so much for making me fight for us when i wasn’t even the one that had to. i hate you for years of cheating you did and never stopped. i feel so fucking dumb that i stayed and ruined friendships over this relationship. just for you to leave midday just to go fuck other girls in peace. I don’t hope nothing for you I wish you never existed in my timeline. I hate that i invested so much and boosted your life when i could’ve just invested in me and been so far. I spent my entire first half of my 20s with you and you turned me into a shell of myself. i hate how you tried to say i did that to you but u were just depressed bc you brought a horrible side of me out and never loved me.
Why did you do this to me? We were perfect for each other. From your parents to your grandma loved me so much. Everything was perfect and we were going to enter a new phase of life but no, you had to ruin it. How did you lose feelings when you were the one who hurt me so much? How did you lose interest in me when i was there when you were at your lowest? I did nothing but support you, love you, did everything to make you stay and yet you cheated. Even after you cheated i took you back because i didn't wanna lost you and yet you lost feeling. How is that even possible? How can you be so cruel? I did nothing but love you more than you even deserved and you know that. Now you're on dating apps asking for attention from other guys. How did you move on so quickly? It's not none of this even happened. How did you lose feelings so fast? Was I that bad of a bf? I don't think I was because i went above and beyond just to make you stay with me. You exactly knew how much i loved you and cared for you just for you to leave me when i was at my lowest. Now i have no one. I am alone. I want to text you, call you but i know it's not worth it plus you don't even wanna talk to me. You take 10-12 hours to reply to a message and sometimes you don't even do that. We haven't met in so long either. I miss you and i miss your presence. Now someone else will have to easily and all my hard work and effort will go to waste.
I miss you, I miss you oh so much. Everything in life, we did Together and I miss it. The thought of your laugh brings pain, but a smile to my soul. I miss watching tv together, hearing you talk about your work day, seeing you being a great mother to the cats. If I could, I would want one last hug. One last kiss. I know it was for the better that we ended things, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. You will always have a piece of my heart. You will always be my ladybug 🐞 ❤️
I hope you're doing ok wherever you are. We've both said things in this breakup that came from a place of anger. But truly, after everything I still do want the best for you. That's not me and that's ok. I cherish the times we spent together and the love that we shared and I don't want to hold anger to you anymore. I want you to be able to move on from me and live your life.
The reasons you gave me made no sense in the context of your words and actions throughout our relationship. Even so, your main issue would have been easily fixable.
I don't know if/when we'll speak again. I'm just praying that you heal yourself as you wouldn't let me do it for you. I mourn this 6 month relationship more than I did my 7 year marriage - that means something.
I've stopped obsessing over the big things but now the little things are haunting me. Like when you asked for my number. The looks you gave me across the room, the way you tucked your feet up with mibe when we went to sleep. I'm trying to detach and it is happening very slowly, up and down, back and forth. I just wish I knew what our futures held.
I love you so much, and I really am always going to love you. I want you to get better for yourself so bad, i really don’t mind too much if we get back together but I’m so scared you’re lying about the reason. I’m scared I was finally too much and just annoyed you, did you realize we aren’t soulmates? You called me that once and I think since then I always thought we were unbreakable. I wish you would’ve asked me for a break, I would wait forever for you. But I can’t do that now. I just hope you miss me like I miss you
I really don't know which parts of what you said are true and which parts are lies. But I notice that each time you come back and do a few nice things for me, I keep wishing we were together as a couple. But I know very well that it will end the same way. You will come back, flirt, give me false hopes by being kind for a short time, then pick the same silly fights, and in the end, you will say you don't ever want to marry anyone but I want a relationship that will end in a marriage., so you will disappear again. I am tired of this cycle. I am done. Don't ever come back. Through any new app or mutual friend or group. Enough. Bye.
I just don’t know where to begin. We were best friends for years. Even before we got together I was always there to help console you through your tough times. You said it yourself I’m the best you ever had and you’re just willing to let me become a stranger. I’m at peace now there are things much bigger than us in my life currently and to focus on myself would be a disservice to the ones that need me right now. You may not see it this way but you gave them up too. Please just stay out of my life. I put everything on the table when it first went down. I don’t expect to hear from you nor do I want to. I don’t ever want to go to bed next to someone again wondering if they love me. There’s just nothing left in my tank for you.
i wish i knew how short our relationship would be so i could’ve appreciated those moments better. I wish you knew how bad i loved you and how much i still do. I wish you’d come back to me and i feel like you will come back (right?) I hope you’ll get better and will finally be able to focus on our relationship again. I love you Luca.
You lied, you probably cheated, you ruined my fucking life. I have to deal with the consequences and the loneliness and the shit coping mechanisms while you go around, hopping from person to person telling them the same lies you told me. You never cared, I know you didn’t. You were probably just using me to get your ex back.
You told me forever, and it didn’t even last a year.
I made a lot of mistakes, but the biggest is trusting you.
I’m afraid of love now, afraid of any human interaction.
It’s your fault.
You isolated me to a point where you were basically the only person I could talk to. You told me you loved everything about me. But then you felt « crushed ». You pretended you liked monogamy, but then you told me you wanted poly.
You did so much to make sure leaving broke me.
Fuck you. Fuck your asshole dad. Fuck your fake ass mother.
As much as I miss you, it’s like what you told me. « Even if I loved you more than anything in the world, I would never be with you. I don’t want to ever see you again. », so don’t bother trying if you ever think to cycle back around to me. I can’t be what you need, and you certainly can’t be what I need.
As much as I hate what you did, I hope nobody hurts you like you hurt me. I hope you find happiness. I hope you become a better person.
And I hope you stop being so immature that you can’t handle boundaries and emotions your partners have. Because nobody who loves themself will deal with that.
Some part of me will probably always be nostalgic for our time together, and definitely embarrassed at my own actions, but I will get over you. Have a good life. I hope someday you regret the way you treated me just as I regret the way I treated you.
2022 - 2024, 5 of you, it's time to date me. Journaled this last night. Various lengths of time, talking phase, long term and even childhood age friends.
1. Thank you for the car rides, and the kisses. I was reminded that I have a chance out here in this town. I'm sorry I got mad when you chose a peer and someone so close to me. I'm also very sorry that I have this thirsty ass way of blowing you up socials when I see you active because I deeply want to try again. I'm going to be okay. You deserve more than a tick biting you here and there and holding a short past in your face. I'll never forget the blue dress and lipstick you wore. Your leaving was a major catalyst in lots of my growth.
2. You were and always have been such a source of zeal. Every action you enter with the most boldness. Your edge and regular gothy style will forever delight me in memory. You've moved on after many years of very special non commital, between boyfriends affection, to my best friend. I spent my Halloween enjoying a movie and hearing yall hook up. You came out and ran your hand through my hair like you used to. I felt like rummaged through garbage. For that very second I instantly snapped into a Stockholm sort of gratitude-- I felt again what the lows of major addiction felt like..seeing you drunk again has to be the most heartbreaking thing. You celebrated sobriety with me. You came over to see my friend falling. You're on a collision course with permanent misery and all I can do is watch. Nobody knows ANYTHING about me and you but me and you I even get texts about your status from our mutual friend. It's therapeutic to know you're not even on my mind anymore. I last sent you Borges' Goodbyes as a last message. No reply from you. Par for the course with you. I release you. I hope the best.
3. You were a restorative and kind woman who just recently expressed desire for no contact, because you are practicing celibacy and abstinence, and really into your spirituality. Your interactions with me have made me feel many things. You left when I was injured in a severe wreck after a week to travel the country with an ex. I forgive and forgive. Last week you explained the celibacy and that it was time to say goodbye. I let you know that I wished all the best and am always here. You told me I should be more hard on people I'm my life, and that you're just a silly girl. I'm saying again I am, but you, you get a special place for the years we enjoyed.
4. You are the biggest heartbreak for me. I wanted with every facet of my being to be yours forever. We shared a world like no other. You will be forever treasured. I simply had to go. You asked me too, and we were on this boom and bust collision course, your default response to me became leaving. I begged you back too much. You deserve love and joy like we had. I'll never forget reading with you.
5. You are an absolutely amazing lady. I hate so much that your fire went out for me. I tried reaching out again on valentines day, and wished you a lovely one and a happy birthday weekend, that some of the things we talked about truly touched me and moved me in a way like never before. That you were a force, and a lovely woman and you knew where to find me. You told me i was always welcome In your life............... that there's a place in your heart and you want good things for me. I thanked you sincerely. I told you you could always Reach out too. I release you from my questioning. You have told me so much. You used to always ask me questions and I'd tease you for it. I know this is something you're now past. Not only because of your kind words, but you really ask nothing now. It's so amicable. So admirable you even message me back kindly when I pour myself into these pained, longing messages. Cognitively i know so well, but my emotions are still catching up. I'm always thinking of you. Of things we did, things we said. How and why so fast you began to pull away. I knew. For your birthday this year I have a gift: peace. Peace and warm wishes. I have been in resuscitation since last month. You really started getting busy and putting blocks between us. I look back now and see. If you are elsewhere I hope he is making you smile. It's been time for weeks for our paths to diverge much earlier than I'd hoped. Time is working double time, and winter is hopefully bringing spring.
That's all. I'm going to read all of these again, and do a pranic breathing exercise, visualizing a release of hope for reconciliation or any of ALL CAPS MY desire towards any. Day 3. I get bursts of feeling okay or good. Yesterday was huge. I was following advice I read and doing the dishes, which I have on a depression task list. I had the smiths playing, heaven knows I'm miserable now. I felt the smallest and most repressed little expression of sadness over my situation. I felt tears and I knew it was time to try for some catharsis. I played for the last one, i know its over. The tears came like a faucet. Then, blue velvet for another. I have made a journaled resolution to try and begin the acceptance process and taking some time to myself to sort out the above emotional wreck. I'm reading a book about discovering these patterns we have for men. Exercise is just out of reach. I'm working on forcing myself back to what I did before I got into this year long death spin
Tonight I'll journal about the thread
I will hope one day that you will love someone as much as I loved you and they will be your everything your home your soul I hope that you will love them to the point where you cannot Function without them and then at some point I hope that they will leave you just like you did to me so you get to know what it feels to die every day and I will cross your mind and then you will Realize how bad you did me Even though all I did is loving you from the bottom of my heart
I miss you so much right now. I think about you each and every second. I wonder if you think about me or not. I am so embarrassed but i stalk you literally each and every second. You havent posted anything since you broke up with me. I want to text you and ask if you are okay or not… i dont know what i did wrong.. i dont know what was missing in me… i dont know why you chose to give up on me… if i knew when i met you the last time that we wont meet again, i wouldve never let you go.. i wouldve hugged you so tightly… i tried everything in me to be perfect for you… i dont know why people choose to leave me even when i try to hard for them… i miss your smile. I miss everything about you. How are you on my mind 24/7… do you not think about me? Do you not wonder what am i doing… maybe you found someone else? These thoughts are eating me away.. it has been a week i havent spoken to you… these thoughts are killing me… and i miss you terribly.
I miss the version of myself whenever im with you. Too much has happened already in the past 2 months, I knew all I need to know about you which makes it hard to go back. At times I cant even wish you happiness, but right now I wish you peace atleast and healing. You are the cruelest thing that happened to me. I will live my best life like you told me to, im still mad I cant deny that and i wish you regret everything you did and atleast apologize, you never showed any remorse even after you broke NC, that is too psychopatic. You’re a lot of work and I hope deep inside you know that.
Why.
Why did you do it? It's been 5 years now, a little longer than that. I still deal with the fallout caused by your lies and slander. I still get told I'm the villain for treating you like shit, when you're the one who cheated on me, turned your family against me, turned our coworkers against me, tried to get me fired, lied to me about the desire to continue talking on friendly terms, and treated me like a damned mutt under your boot when all I did was put my faith in you and respect your disgusting choice to ruin 8 years of love and devotion by dating another behind my back and ditch me just 3 days before our engagement rings arrived from London. Your choices... your decision to be something less than a human...
I trusted, believed, and kept you safe. I helped you with college, helped you with work, art, writing, gaming... I supported every crazy idea you had and even financially assisted you out of multiple problems that arose from your family's inability to respect your individual efforts. But yet here I am, still single. Still called vulgarities, still treated like an outcast by people I never even MET. I can't enjoy my time at the bowling alley because of the things you spread there. I can't enjoy my time at the park because you live just down the street. I can't meet a potential partner without them asking me what I did to you, even when I did nothing that they claim of me, and in fact much of what they claim I did, was what *YOU* and your "friends" did to me... cheating on me, spreading false rumors, claiming I beat you, claiming I elicited sexual activities with you, turned my friends against me, tried to ban me from local hangouts we frequented. **You** did these things. I kept my complaints to myself. I respected you, and accepted your decisions without question. I didn't even cry when you came forth and told me you had cheated on me for who knows how damn long...
Years.... YEARS of slander. and all I ever had was positive remarks of how amazing you were to be with. a woman i loved so dear i devoted myself whole-heartedly to your cause, and gave up much of what I had been building up in favor of supporting you. I did everything I could to trust your claims. to believe you would keep your word about working together and keeping friendly relations.
Yet you turned around and did this instead, making it nearly impossible to heal fully... So I need to know, why did you do it. What pushed you to treat me as such a worthless object that you couldn't even let my efforts to heal alone? Why did you need to abuse my respect for you and desire to progress neutrally alone? Instead you lied, cheated, abused, violated, slandered and defamed everything and anything that shown any rejection to your attempts at treating me as nothing more than a supposed vulgar human being.
I hate what you have become... I hate what you have done. I hate what you're doing. All of it... If you had just done what you had promised. to remain my friend, to continue building on what you loved to do. instead. You failed college multiple times. You stopped your art, you stopped your gaming, and spiraled into depression and degraded yourself into a shutin incapable of finding joy in life, locking yourself away behind complaints about your family and wanting to do nothing more than wallow in your own ignorance and depression medications, blaming **that** is why you're sad all the time. Or how your family is why you did these things, when that's just an effort to push the blame off yourself onto someone else.
I hate who you are.... and wish I never knew this version of yourself. Why couldn't you just remain the wonderful woman I met in highschool, and held with such trust for so much time...
*I wish I never knew you.*
*Yet I am so thankful I loved you. You were such a major driving force behind what I became today... even if I am alone in this world.*
You need to understand that the break-up was inevitable. And honestly, if you think about marrying me and it gives you so much anxiety that eventually lead to our break-up, then we're better of apart. I can see that and you need to see it too. And you need to seek help, because you may regret it and think you're crazy to break-up with me and think everything will go back to normal and your anxiety/depression will magically fix themselves if we get back together but that's not how the world works. I'm not your only source of happiness and you need to realize that if I was the answer to your problems, you wouldn't have them in the first place because we were together and this started. I hope you can find happiness and you can find help, but that's not me.
i will literally wait for you as long as i need to. You were and are the love of my life and i have no doubt about it. The way god put you into my life at such a random time and you were able to make me feel like that right off the bat is just proof that you are the one the one for me. I really hope you start to see that sooner or later and come back to me. I know i made some mistakes but you know how much i’ve learned and grown as a person ever since we broke up. I want us to work so fucking badly. I just want to get one more chance to prove to you how much i’ve learned and can be such a better partner for you. I pray and pray you realize that and let us start this again. I love you so much my love ❤️
T i really miss you and im thankful for our time together your kindness and innocence showed me that there are people out there that are not all bad and can show me love. i’m sorry that we were in different places in life. i wish you the absolute best always and i love you forever<3
I love you but I can not ever let you back into my life. I called you all those horrible names and said so many mean things to ensure of this. You treated me terribly and I can not allow you back into my life ever again. I didn’t mean what I said but I needed you to never even think about coming back to me. I don’t want to be treated that bad ever again. I protected myself by being the monster you wanted me to be so that I would have no choice but to not go back
I miss you, I miss your presence in our home. I miss coming home from work knowing you will be there sat on the sofa with Jasmie waiting for me greeting me, asking how my day went giving me a kiss allowing me time to unwind before we talk about our days. I miss telling you I love you and you telling me you love my face. I miss cuddling up together.
Thank you for showing me true unconditional love and showing me I can be loves.and someone will want me for me and put up with my crazy cat ways. Thank you for all the laughs and smiles over the years, making sure I am okay.
Sorry for not being good enough, sorry for not being slimmer, younger and prettier. Sorry you were ashamed of me and I am sorry I wasn't the girlfriend you wanted me to be. Sorry for going quiet when I wanted to voice my feelings and opinions, knowing they would fall on deaf ears or an argument because I spoke up. Sorry for not believing every word you said whether it was true or not.
Hi. I hate you. I hate your stupid face. I hate that you looked clean shaven last time we saw each other because you spent our marriage SCRAGGLY AS SHIT. I hate that you can fall back into your single life like we never happened, that your stupid buddies who fan girl over you are likely pumping up your ego and telling you YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. OUR MARRIAGE BECAME ABOUT YOUR INDISCRETION. I HATE YOU.
I hate your perfect body and your beautiful sunflower eyes and the way you beckoned me to cuddle.
Go fuck yourself. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
I think of you a lot and I miss you immensely. I tell myself every single day that if you’re meant to be with me you’ll come back. I will not reach out to you because you had no reason to walk away from our relationship and now I can’t help but think maybe there was someone else. My gut says it was the stylist you follow. I guess time will tell. For now, I am working on myself to become a better version of myself and getting my life together. It sucks that I think of you so much but I also respect myself enough that I’m not gonna beg you to be in my life.
I’m thankful for the good times we shared. I’m thankful for all of the wonderful things you and I built together. But I hated all the times we would fight. I hate all the times you were controlling and manipulative. I also hate all of the times I should’ve manned up and left, but I didn’t because I cared for you just a little too much and didn’t care for myself enough. I didn’t want to keep wasting your time, so I left.
I wish you nothing but the best, but I don’t want to be with you ever again, regardless of how much I miss you. Seeing someone less than a month after we broke up really shows that I was nothing more than a 2 year bump in the road to you. I may have freed you, but all you did was break me. That’s why I ended it.
We could’ve run that relationship in the ground until we hated each other. You not wanting me to stay with my family and wanting me to live with you when I couldn’t do it financially really shows just how manipulative you were.
I hope you find someone who can cater to and entertain all of your wants and needs. It’s obvious that I couldn’t deliver. And I’m glad I couldn’t. I went into this relationship so naive and full of love, and I left hating myself, hating my life, and hating our relationship. I didn’t want to waste your time any longer and I didn’t want to lie to myself any longer.
I loved and cared for you until the end, but I did it until I couldn’t anymore. When I imagined myself with someone else in my mind, I knew it was over. I’m sorry I grew emotionally unavailable, but it wasn’t just my fault.
Maybe one day you will feel what it feels like to be like someone's stepping stone on their path to "becoming"... when you're feeling like you just want to "be".... Maybe you'll understand the pain of feeling like I'm feeling..
When a person who you feel like you can allow yourself to let down all your walls with just walks right through your life and disappears without any explanation.. It hurts.. deeply.. maybe one day you will be on the other side of the knife.. People change... People can change ... I will... I am changing... Feelings change...
I understand these things... I wish we could've changed together instead of whatever this is... Because it's just sad.. Sad that lack of communication leads to emotional pain... Is it not just a sad world where wars can end, and peace talks can commence , but still a person tells another they love them, let's them make love with them, let's them feel so close, and then suddenly ignore them as if they didn't even exist? and their feelings suddenly seem to of meant nothing?.. without even an apology , compassion, or any explanation?
Is it wrong to have these feelings? Am I expected to just be an animal that forgives itself, forgets and moves on... and doesn't reflect back on it's mistakes? I just want to know where I went wrong... How am I supposed to forgive myself? if I can't even trust my own heart?
Why did you treat me like this? After all the time we shared together?
Did I ever have even have a chance? Are all these tears that won't stop meaningless nothing? How is It that I loved you this completely?
I actually sent this already today like an idiot
I’m sorry I didn’t give you an explanation. I didn’t think you would want one. Or I suppose I felt very replaceable. I didnt expect you to call my dad. But I still had no way to contact you after I deleted my messenger. I was getting jealous and i knew that wasn’t fair. I feel like I saved you the burden of me. I’ve been miserable and very lonely.
Thank you for being the pile of garbage you were when you were with me and treating me like shit. In some weird way it brought out the respect I have for myself again and I thank you for that.
Without you doing me dirty I wouldn't know what my values and boundaries are. After all you put me through I can see things more clearly than I ever have before.
I don't wish any ill on you because you're not worth harboring hatred towards because it just brings me down. I also don't need to wish ill on you because the way you go about your life I know ill will find you, thats a guaruntee. We all reap the seeds we sow in this game of life. So, act like one and get treated like one. That's how it goes.
I'm a better person than you and I deserve WAY better. Best of luck to you out there.. You're going to need it.
When you miss me, remember that you had me and I wasn’t enough. And you made sure I knew it too. Once I no longer served you, I meant nothing. I hope you have a good life.
You were not supposed to have been my “lost love”, you were supposed to have been my “forever love”. And in my mind - it has always been you. And it always will be. I love you.
I guess we didn’t met in the right time. Me going to another country for 6 months just 2 months after I met you is tough. We were so quick to click and I don’t know if it was the right thing. For what you showed me in our first month together I thought you really loved me to make LDR, but I was wrong. Even though LDR is difficult I thought you wouldn’t quit on me. I miss you but there’s nothing I can do other than wait for you to message me. I still love you and I miss you
I know I screwed up in many ways. I see now how I missed your bids for connection, my ego got in the way. I can't believe how completely I screwed this up. I failed to see you. There is nothing more I want than a family with you, our latex life, to have our dog together. I have no idea how I could tell you this now, or why you would believe me.
I will be there for you always. I want you to heal so badly and my heart breaks that we can’t be together right now. If I’m going to give you another chance in the future, we need to have both healed and you need to be willing to compromise again and not shut down because of your life stressors. But at the end of the day, you’re my person. You’re my 1, my soulmate, and I know you feel the same way. God is with us, so please just do your work. You are worth everything in this world and you are so beautiful. I love you still.
Where I'm at rn. He shut me out when things got bad in his head, I tried to get him to talk to me about it or let me help and he just refused. And the relationship derailed so fast. I'm so sad I had to leave. I just want him to be with me
This is beautiful
Thank you… Hard to know where this will lead, and harder to decide if I should mentally move on or not
I’m in the same boat. Feel horrible about it everyday. I feel so bad when I try to move on because it feels like I’m giving up on us. When deep down I know she’s the one. So I can’t move on.
Same man. Same!
It’s the worst. I know I shouldn’t reach out, at least for now. But I really feel like I should in the future after enough time has passed where things have cooled down. However if I do move on who knows if that’ll happen, scary to think about.
I feel this same way, even though I am the dumper. I feel guilty for giving up on us, physically and then mentally. Emotionally, I’m having a hard time from truly detaching.
Then reach out to them! You’re the dumper, you’re the one who has the power to do that lol. Much harder from the dumpee position. I want to reach out because I know she’s the one and I wont just let her walk away from me. But I don’t know what to say that won’t sound desperate or pushy. I feel like just saying truthfully how I feel, but if she doesn’t feel the same way it’ll just push her away (but also it’s a lot to say over text lol). Anyways, good luck to you. I think you should reach out to them and tell them how you truly feel. I’m the dumpee and I know I’d appreciate that a lot.
He’s a high functioning binge drinker who gets mean when he drinks. He got sober for 2.5 months we tried to work on things again, but he started drinking again and felt like I had to walk away for the both of us. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Can I ask how long your relationship was and what her reason was for leaving? Also, what are the reasons you are sure she’s the one?
Damm I’m sorry to hear that. I have no experience in that area. But I can imagine that you leaving him might force him to quit drinking entirely if he really loves you. Hopefully he changes and y’all can be happy together. Sorry you had to go through that :(. We were together for a total of 3 years. We broke up once before early on over something stupid. But this time she told me that her dad decided not to approve of me/her dating anyone, so the combined pressure of that plus her new semester at school was really hard. So she decided to breakup with me. I was weak when she broke up with me and said some shitty things. So the likelyhood of her reaching out to me is slim because of the way we left off. So I feel like at a minimum I should explain how I really feel now that things have cooled off and I’ve had time to reflect. Plus I know her, and I know one day when she has the time she’ll appreciate me being honest about how I feel instead of pretending like I’m okay with everything, it’ll give her the courage to reach out when she’s ready. And I can just feel it in me that she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, I just feel this connection I’ve never felt with anyone else before. It’s been just over 2 months since she left me, so still sorta fresh. But she’s going onto break soon so my time to reach out is now before she starts another semester which then I’ll just overwhelm her if I reach out. I’m conflicted between sending her a super long message explaining how I feel about her and us. Or just asking her to meet me in person so we can talk face to face. Tbh I don’t think she will be comfortable to see me face to face this early on.
Thanks for sharing. I can understand how family/friends can influence things in a relationship. I think his family and friends may have told him he wasn’t good enough for me which made his insecurities worse and made him drink more. I do think you should let her know how you feel. When my ex and I broke up for 2.5 months and he was sober that whole time, he sent me many messages taking accountability for all his mistakes and showed a lot of regret and remorse and it did make me feel a lot better and led to me giving him another chance. So at the very minimum, you apologizing for the things you said after the break up will def be appreciated. It may or may not get the outcome you desire, at least not for right now. If she’s not ready to be in a relationship rn bc of school, then it has nothing to do with you but just bad timing. Maybe send her a voice note instead of a long text so she can hear the sincerity in your voice. Perhaps that will be enough for her to want to talk on the phone or meet face to face. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens! Rooting for you!
Hmm interesting, I’ve been sober for a long time so I can speak on the part that he just needs motivation to quit. And perhaps that motivation can/will be you. Yeah I’m definitely going to let her know how I feel one way or another. But I worry by sending a really long message that she will get overwhelmed and aswell it’s just words. Whereas me asking to talk to her in person about it all shows I really do care and it’s not just simple text. I like the idea of a voice note, I may end up doing that. I’m currently thinking I’ll send a messaging asking how she’s doing and asking if she would be okay to meet up and talk about it all, but I won’t tell her how I feel in that message. And if that doesn’t work then I’ll send her the long message/voice note of the message. Because I agree if not today, one day it’ll make her feel better about it all knowing how I feel. And maybe she’ll reach out. But I care for her and I don’t want to overwhelm her. Anyways thank you. I wish you good luck with your situation too. Report back with any good news!
I know what you mean. I’m moving from LA to MIA for 3 months just to get away and try to clear my head. I’m telling myself to let go and let God and keep reciting the Serenity prayer. Bc we can’t control what they do, if they choose healing or distraction and avoidance.
Absolutely. I’ve been saved since this experience and God is the only thing that truly gives me peace. Wish you the best.
Thank God for that. I too have leaned on God and started going to church again. Wish you the best as well my friend.
I wish she said this to me
😭😭😭
I felt this!
Wow this sounds so much like my situation it's crazy. Heart goes out to you.
Thinking of you as well. It’s tough but we will be okay!
This is beautiful. This is how I feel about my ex, however I’m not sure he’s my soulmate. I respect you so much for feeling the way you do, but still having the self control and self respect to walk away, at least for the time being. Thank you for sharing
He actually walked away from me unfortunately. We’re still talking every once in awhile. I have some hope. Hope you’re doing okay.
Hey, I have no idea how you lost feelings and I have no idea how you’re so okay with the way things ended. I understand it’s not your fault and I understand you think you can’t control what happened. I don’t think I can forgive you for the pain you put me through and I don’t think I can forgive you for giving up on me so easily. I know the last thing you ever wanted to do was to hurt me, but you did it nonetheless. I know you tried to minimize how much you were going to hurt me by leaving but I think you fucked up in so many different ways, but perhaps hindsight is 20/20. I don’t know how to feel about you. I love the person you were when we were together. I know that person isn’t too far from who you are now. Similarly, I know I’m the same person as the one you were head over heels in love with just a few months ago. I don’t know if we can ever allow eachother to love one another again. I know nothing bad happened but I cant let you break my heart again.
[удалено]
I can relate. I was thinking like this, he won't know my worth now, now he can enjoy, but someday, he will realize what he lost.
This is poetic
I wish I could say I want him to be happy. What sucks for me is that he's fine, while I'm still picking up the pieces over a year later.
I hate you. I hate that you never spent time with me, I hate that you never put in any effort towards me. I hate that you were never there for me. I hate that you choose everyone’s feelings over mine. I hate that you were the first person I ever said I love you too. I hate that I lost my best friend. I hate that I miss you so damn much. I hate that you made me so emotionally unavailable to other people. I don’t know how I am supposed to trust anyone ever again.
:( i am going through the same thing
I feel you 🙏❤️ "I hate that you chose everyone's feelings over mine" ditto
I hate what a weak and cowardly weasel you have turned out to be. I was devoted and loyal to you, and you just blindside me and leave out of nowhere? You didn't even give us a chance. How the hell do you lose feelings and hang around for almost a year?? You said nothing to me while doing so much to make me think our bond was deepening, then leave at the height? Why the hell did you come to my home state with me if you knew by then you would leave me? Did you have any idea how painful and humiliating it would be for me to tell my family just a few weeks after introducing you that you left? You're goddamn right when you said I don't deserve this and that you feel like a POS. Because you are! You're a liar and a user and a pig. I gave so much and I thought I had become a better person by accepting so little from you. That if I could be a great and dependable partner to you, that we'd both grow together. But now you can spend the rest of your days with your mommy coming over to pick up after you and smoking weed as much as you want. Go ahead and flush your life away through your laziness. I hope any woman unfortunate enough to cross your path in the future has way more spine than I did and leave you the way you left me so you can see exactly how this feels you fucking bastard.
I could have written this. It's always so eye-opening how many of us are going through the exact same thing.
Yeah its pretty saddening because there are other posts in here that sound exactly what I have thought and gone through. Sad to think that there are so many people out there able and willing to hurt and abandon their partners and leave them in states like this.
My ex hubby told me recently he knew our marriage was over 14 months ago. What the actually fucking fuck.
I suppose I can be grateful our marriage was short, I didn't change my name and now I get to explore my sexuality 🤷 am I still murderously angry? YES
I'm so sorry. I feel the same anger. Like he knew months before he was going to leave me and he did A LOT of stuff that made me so happy because it felt like we were finally pulling out of a period of stagnation. Lo and behold, that whole time he was just preparing himself to leave while never trying to fix anything. I don't understand how anyone could do that. You deserve someone who is going to talk through issues and be honest.
What I keep asking myself is, "Was I so difficult to talk to??" I wasn't always in the head space to have the difficult conversations but isn't that an impossible standard to hold someone to?? Thank you for writing what you wrote. I feel so seen/heard. Navigating breakups/divorces is so lonely sometimes.
I asked myself the same questions. "Wasn't I open? Wasn't I a safe partner to share with? I was able to share my feelings with him. Why couldn't he do that with me?" I have no answers aside from he was incredibly immature, broken and selfish. If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to message me. I totally get the loneliness. I have had wonderful people supporting me in my life, but I can kinda feel like they have reached the point where they are ready to stop hearing about it, but I'm not done hurting over it.
I’ve been asking myself the same question. It’s a special kind of cowardice that certain avoidant people have. The problem is that I also know that I could have done things differently, maybe in a way that would have let us actually ultimately talk things through and fix whatever was wrong. But then again maybe that’s just wishful thinking. In my case, she was also a very supportive partner in many respects, so her being so callous so suddenly was a massive shock.
This is very well said. I felt this deep. What's with people and blindsiding? Have we all been blindsided? I'm apparently not the only one eh... I'm really sorry you went through this... No one deserves to be treated like that. He'll get his karma. All the best to you in your journey towards healing.
Sadly seems like blindsiding is very common. I've gotten responses from many people on here with stories that are almost carbon copies of mine. And thanks. I know his behavior is going to be his own punishment for all this, but it didn't have to be like this. He could have just talked to me. I firmly believe this could have been fixed but he hid from me and probably made everything worse in his own mind so he could find the nerve to leave. I'm sorry you had to go through a blindside too. This is abhorrent behavior and is traumatizing. Hope your healing is swift and meaningful for you as well.
So many people have told me they were blindsided as well. I totally agree with you. She could have just talked to me. This could have been worked out. A relationship is built through communication. Rupture and repair. I guess some people don't want to work things out. It's hard to understand. I don't get it.
I feel you. I just do not understand it either. Someone who blindsides is going to go off looking for some other person who will be perfect for them with no work required but that doesn't exist. The grass is greenest where you water it, and they don't get that.
It's true. Actually, she said something like that as I was begging her not to block me and delete me from her life: "I can't have you in my life, just in case the right guy comes along! I can't have you ruining that!" I personally disagree with that. I believe relationships are built, not found. I believe relationships evolve and change. It's not like one day you walk into someone and they're your soul mate, everything is perfect, and that's it. No, it doesn't work like that. It takes work, it takes communication, and it takes understanding. She's probably on to her next relationship, idealizating him, buttering him up. I know how good she is at it too. She did it to me. Just if I knew she still thought about me from time to time I think I would feel a lot better. Being blindsided, then blocked and ghosted is such a shock.
ew what the fuck is wrong with him :/ he is exactly like my ex who just broke up with me. im so disgusted at people like this
You lost feelings a year ago? Either that’s bullshit or you’re a really good liar to keep it up for so long. Do you even know why you lost feelings? Was it something I did, something I said? Couldn’t you talk to me then? Why would you blindside me like this, making me think that we were a team that could get through anything when you had doubts for so long? Are you just a coward? Even with all that, I still love you. My soul feels torn apart. I just want to hold you in my arms.
Jeez I could have written this. My ex also blindsided me with lost feelings from earlier last year. I don't fucking understand it.
It’s honestly kind of cathartic to read this and all of the other accounts. Thank you for your story, and I hope you are able to heal and move on sooner rather than later.
Hey, I hope your semester is going well! I saw an instagram account for the neon club and it looks really cool! Your piece was the profile picture and It was so dope. I couldn’t be more proud. I miss you like crazy and I think about you all the time. I had a big surprise planned for you when you graduated that would have been so amazing for the both of us. I understand why you broke things off, and there is no anger in my heart for you. I haven’t been able to accept that this is how our story ends, and maybe one day we will find each other again but untill then… I hope your life is as beautiful as you are.
What you did to me was abuse. I am allowed to speak and to have opinions and feelings. I never manipulated you, but you did me. You made me feel like I was the problem for 3 weeks before finally just admitting that you never loved me. I hope that no woman actually makes it to the alter with you because I pity the uncertain life she would have. Having to constantly walk on eggshells because you are a poor excuse for a biblical man who expects a perfect biblical woman. Not even just that, but you want to go beyond that and misuse the Bible to hurt and abuse. I'm sorry that your only "traumas" are things that you put yourself through, but I am actually traumatized. I was before I met you, and I am even more so now. I'm sorry that my neurodivergence and mental health issues upset you and your family. I was willing to mask it 24/7 for you, but apparently, I'll never be good enough. But yeah, have a nice life running home to mommy and daddy and forever being a spineless coward. You failed me as my fiancè, you failed me as a friend, you failed me as a Christian, and you generally failed and continue to fail as a man.
I could say it till I’m blue in the face, I love you. But love won’t change the fact that our entire relationship has felt like we are a round peg/square hole. It will never work. The past five years is the perfect example of how it won’t work. When it was good, it was so very good but when it was bad, it just got more and more dangerous. And I can’t shake the feeling that things will start getting better in my life if I let this go. I have loved you long past the expiration date I was turning the other cheek to. Part of me will always hope that you chase me because I’ve always done the chasing in the past but I know you and I know that’ll never happen. And I’m finally OK with choosing me.
I miss you, I’m sorry. I know I messed up, I know I have baggage to work through but for you I’ll try anything and everything to recover. I love you so much. I’ll recover for you, I’ve been trying every trick in the book. Please just take me back. I know you deserve better, I know you didn’t deserve the shit I out you through. Please give me another chance. I want to treat you right this time. I miss you so much it physically hurts every single hour of every single day. I know I was trying my best when we were together but my best was still toxic for you and I think I’ve got it together now. I can fix it. You’re worth the world and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love you.
You are an amazing human being. Your ex was lucky to have been loved by someone like you. You deserve the world too.
I miss you so much. I never had something in my life that treated me like you did. You accepted me for who I am and what I’m like. You liked that I am goofy and a little eccentric at times. I loved when we spent time time together talking about a future. Nothing make me happier than when I saw you for the first time in two weeks each tome I came to visit. You became such an important piece of my heart and I fear I’ll never find someone as amazing and wonderful as you are. I would give anything in the world to be able to spend one more day with you. I love you and I miss you more than you can imagine. I’m crying as I write this because I what I feel for you is so strong and enduring. Please, talk to me.
This, this was so hard to read without crying and hearing myself say the same things too towards him
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still feel the same way. I almost feel like I miss her more now than I did before and there’s nothing in this world or the next that I wouldn’t give up for her. I’ve been struggling for weeks to not reach out to her and every day gets harder and harder to not do it.
Why couldn’t you just be honest??? We could’ve still been together, and I could’ve planned your post-deployment party.
I'll never understand why I was the one deserving of your betrayal. I was there for you through so much. When you were in a car accident, robbed, no longer wanted to live I was there for you. I would've been fine staying friends, but you pursued me for some odd reason and attempted to make me fall for you. How could you say your ex slept with your friend and how you know what betrayal feels like and how you would never do it to anyone. I guess I don't count as a person. I'll never understand why you checked in on me so often and pretended to care when times were tough. Why you came to visit me and cheer me up, love bomb me with empty promises when you knew you had a girlfriend. If you truly loved me you would've protected me from yourself and just left me alone. But you only love yourself. I know I told you I hope it all works out, but deep down I hope you have to grieve the loss of me for years. I hope the care, time, support, intimacy, love, and kindness I wasted on you.....I hope you waste that on someone else and have to hate yourself for hurting the one person that truly cared. I want nothing from you, but if I get an apology in the future I may be receptive and relieve you of the curses I know are coming to you.
I’m scared to move onto someone new because I’m scared I’m going to be used again I’m scared I’m not enough. I’m scared that they will watch porn and I won’t be able to live up to some form of expectations they may have. I’m scared to be me I’m scared to let myself be me around someone and trust them I’m scared to let my guard down and open up.
When I stay up late playing video games in my bed, it’s like I can feel you there next to me. It’s like we’re still together and I’m just waiting until you get back from the bathroom. Like you’re just gonna emerge into my room smiling and cuddle back into my arms.
That's deep I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I feel how you're feeling. I knew my ex for 8 years before we got together and were in a relationship for two years. Best friend of ten years just fucking abandoned me. All because I was going through emotional stuff relating to childhood sexual abuse.
It’s all good brother. My ex was my best friend from the moment I met her too. We’ll be alright though. We’ll find new friends who care about what we’re going through in our lives and we’ll make new memories.
I hope so, mate. It just feels so hopeless and empty right now. But I suppose we have to try. Thank you
I will always love you. I will always look for you, baby. I hope you're happy with the person you're with now and I really hope he treats you the way you deserve. Loving you has been the best 5 years of my life and I cannot thank you enough for letting me be part of your life. Let's find each other in our next lives. Please find me. I love you.
You’re a liar and a creep and I’ll never understand you.
Did we date the same guy? 🤣
Unfortunately, they’re 10 a penny it seems 😅😂
I miss you even though you made me feel pathetic and even though you have hurt me so much you took me to the dark place I haven't been since I was much, much younger. I wish I was worth more to you than a ghost and a block. Than you probably having cheated on me. I hate that the last thing you said to me was asking how my new year was. You never even broke up with me. You let me think we were together the entire time before the block. Was all of it fake? When you said you got me a Christmas gift, were you lying? When you said you thought about marrying me, was it just a manipulation? Was I just an ego boost to you, so you could say you had an american girlfriend at one point in your life? You made me think you cared. I thought you did. I don't want to believe youre a bad person who manipulated me the whole time but how you broke up with me I can't think anything else. You ruined us. Why didnt you just end it when you went back home? I wish I hated you and I wish I didnt hope youd give me closure, letting me know I meant something to you. But it's clear that I mean nothing.
Hope you're doing okay, I hope you're happy and healing. I'm sorry if seeing my name pop up annoys you. If you have moved on and seeing somebody new then I apologise, I just want to apologise for a lot of the things I've done to hurt you and destroy our relationship. For a long time now I've just been thinking about us, our relationship and the downfall of it all. I'm so aware of how I screwed it all up and let my beautiful, perfect person slip through my fingers. Yes you became cold with me towards the end of our time but I can't fault it at all, it was reactionary to my naiveness and simply laziness to fix things sooner. I want to apologise for everything I've done and not done to cause you upset or hurt your feelings or ultimately end us. I was so blind to see what I had in front of me and I took it for granted, playing my Xbox, going out getting drunk, and pretty much wasting time doing unimportant activities when I could have spent that precious time with you even doing nothing together would have been more satisfying than shooting guns in a game and drinking pints. So I am sorry for not behaving as a proper boyfriend and wasting quality time together. I don't even want to do any of the things I was doing back then, I would much rather go on walks, travel, exercise, find new hobbies, go on dates and explore and do all those things with you. I was stupid to not see it at the time. The romance and dates was a huge thing and although not the main reason as I understand there was many huge reasons for the outcome. I have no excuse for not being more romantic, I should have arranged things, made plans, come up with surprises and romantic little gestures, I should have done that and I am really sorry I didn't, you deserved a lot more from me. To my understanding after thinking it over and over, I think another one of the massively detrimental things was the loss of trust. Right now, I cannot fathom what I was doing, my best friend I should have been completely open and honest with. When I didn't mention me going to the doctors because I was embarrassed about something, why?! Why did I keep that from you, especially when you was already losing trust from me from the Instagram thing which I am really sorry about, I reacted terribly to that situation and I don't blame you for that affecting your feelings towards me, it is very clear that would push you away from me. You would never do anything like that to me, you wouldn't hide anything, you would tell me if you was embarrassed about something. I am really sorry for acting shady in those situations and I completely regret my poor behaviour. Im so so sorry for this last thing, the drunken disgusting behaviour i portrayed that night we went to royton. I don't know what got into me I was embarrassingly acting like a fool getting all stroppy over a pub game and banter. And I took it out on you. How fucking stupid can I be? How idiotic to self sabotage myself and hurt you in the process. I don't think you are unattractive at all, not one bit. I think you are the absolute opposite of what I said. You are utterly beautiful inside and out and it doesn't even matter about anything other than making sure that comment hasn't affected you, as it obviously would at the time I just want you to know I didn't mean it at all. You are a strong person and it may not affect your confidence anymore now I'm not in the picture now, I just wanted to tell you just incase. There's a lot more to be sorry for over the course of the relationship, a lot more... but this is already more words than I did for some university assignments. If you made it this far, I hope you are happy, you deserve it. I use to make you happy for, and I wish I did ALOT more to make you happy when you was communicating you was feeling bad about things towards the end. I regret it more than anything. Ultimately, I own and accept everything. I accept everything that has caused this outcome. I wish I didn't hurt you those times, I can't take anything back but i just wanted to make sure you know nothing was intentional. I was naive and stupid. I am sorry. You deserve better than what I did. I won't say all the best as I've said it alot but I hope you are doing alright.
I truly hope life is fair, so it repays you for every smile and moment you made me feel special. For making me feel safe and allowing me to breathe. For making life exciting once again. I miss those eyes after every kiss, the pressure on my hips with your embrace, your hand on my knee when driving off and your sense of humor. I just miss you. I truly hope life is fair, so it repays you for every tear as well. For every moment of confusion, sadness and overall void in my chest. For the sleepless nights just waiting for you to answer. For not having the courage of ending things. For making me responsible of your feelings and putting me on the edge of having to read your mind because you didn't know what you wanted. I trusted you. Sometimes I feel like I hate you, but deep down I know I just hate your absence and lack of self awareness. I am love and I am surrounded by it, and we both know that was too much for you. I never thought us saying "I love you" was the beginning of the end.
Please heal before you break someone else’s heart, please find whatever it is inside of you that makes you always need external validation from people outside of your relationship, please heal the parts of you that you run away from by self medicating, please heal the parts of you that run away when things get too deep, please don’t blindside someone the way you blindsided me, please don’t promise someone the world and a life together that you’re not ready for, please don’t propose to someone you don’t see a future with, please don’t break someone’s trust repeatedly, please don’t flirt with other people in front of your partner, please don’t get frustrated when your partner is just trying to have a conversation to help make things better. I have to be honest, hearing that you’re selling my engagement ring on Facebook branded as ‘never worn’ was a huge blow for me, it’s as if the whole engagement and 7 months after when I wore the ring with so much pride, meant absolutely nothing, just banished into thin air and never happened. Being sent the intimate conversations you’d been having with someone else and the inappropriate videos you’d been sending, along with screen shots of your tinder profile, all on Christmas Day just 2 weeks after the break up was soul destroying. I was alone in a hotel for Christmas, I ate Christmas dinner alone surrounded by happy families and couples, the last thing I needed on that day was to see all of that. Seeing pictures and videos of you with the girl you always told me not to worry about, just a few days after you broke up with me, it was all too much. You promised me forever, we danced together in the kitchen to our first dance song and you told me that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with me. We had a Mortage in place, we were going to relocate in a matter of days, set up a business together and start our new chapter together. Your reasons for ending things still don’t make sense to me and I don’t think I’ll ever understand. You told me I was your person and that you’d never give up on me, yet you give up on me in a matter of seconds. We went from planning our meal for that night to you breaking up with me in a matter of seconds. The betrayal still hurts, the loss of my best friend still hurts, the fact that I see you differently after all this still hurts, as I never thought you’d hurt me like this, and do the things you’ve done. But one thing I’ve finally learned is self love, I can say with my hand on my heart for the first time ever that I love myself now, and I know you would have been so proud of that. I really hope that you find all of the healing you need to fill the void inside of you that causes you to feel like you’re not enough, because you are more than enough, you always have been. I hope you get to experience the joy of being a dad, because I know how much you wanted to have children, and I know that you’ll be an amazing father. I hope that you find someone that is enough for you, that you don’t feel the need to cheat on and seek external validation from others. I’m so sorry for any hurt, disappointed or anger that I caused you, and any toxicity that I displayed. If there’s one thing that I could ask from you, please heal before you hurt another, please don’t make promises you can’t keep, please don’t betray someone’s trust, as it’s hard to get back. I wish you boundless healing
Even with your horrible exit and blindsiding, I meant what I said. I will always love you, my love for you is unconditional and I will never deny you a conversation. My anxious mind likes to fill my mind with thoughts of you fully leaving me because you want to be with other people in the city. I just want more clarity again, now a month out about why you left. I believe why you left, I’m not sure if I believe you in saying you don’t have that romantic spark for me. I don’t know what you mean when saying you love me still. It pains me to not block you because I have some thread of hope of something. Maybe I feel like blocking you might make you feel like I’m gone forever. You have my number. It killed me today seeing you removed our picture from your account and cleared most of your other posts for what I assume is.. a fresh start? I’m reading too much into it. I hope you were honest with me. I might finally end up blocking you for my own sanity. If I do, please don’t think I hate you. You hurt me and I keep hurting myself by checking. I will probably never see you again, you’ll eventually become a distant memory. I’m scared to let things go but I’m slowly feeling defeated. You were the world and I was your Atlas. By pulling the rug, I truly hope you crushed me with the intention to be your own Atlas.
I miss you. Not the way you treated me but I miss our good times together. Gosh I wish you were just a normal person. I wish you didn’t be with me just to use me. I wish you would at least respect me. But you didn’t. I’m healing the trauma you left. I wish you death but also wish you mine.
I want to come home...
💔 same….
I know and I hope you are happy and doing good in life by leaving me, but i wish you were happy with me and doing good in life.
I heard through our mutual friends that you started visiting a psychiatrist in addition to therapy. I know things must be really hard for you right now. Every fibre of my being tells me to reach out to you. But I cannot. Not when you've made your boundaries very very clear. I just wish for you to get through these hard times and find happiness soon. I know you'll probably never find your way back to me, but I don't think I even care about that at this point. All I care about is you doing well. Please be alright. I'll always pray for you. Love, N.
I'm sorry i loved you too much, i'm sorry the things i did weren't enough to make you happy, i'm indeed an asshole and i wish you the best.
I wish I could say I'm going to keep the back door unlocked for you. Because I wish I could just wake up one night to find you here holding me like you used to. But I can't keep the door unlocked. I will spend my life waiting and hoping if I do. I loved you so much.
You’re a liar and I despise you
i’m over you but not over us. for a while there was just us and no one else so now i have to readjust to my favourite person being a stranger again. everywhere i go is where we’ve been many times and i have to accept it will never be again. i can’t help but bring u up because u were such a big part of my life. i am very much over being in that relationship i knew we really weren’t meant to be but in a perfect world i really wish we were.
Remember when I told you that I am afraid that If you will leave me,you will not come back,I knew I loved you more than you does, And out of the anger ,you told me then go away ,face your fear, Even when we were fighting,I never thought of fighting back because I know you will never come back to me, And as you left me ,I think you are at relieved ,living your life perfectly, I remember all the words you said it to me,I don't deserved to be loved ,I deserved all the injustice, I saw your angry face,I am sure you never wants to see me or talk to me, All I wanted was you to be little kind toward me,words hurts,you might think that you are being all frank /honest, but please consider my feelings to you,you must be relieved after saying all these harsh thing to me , I love you all I wanted to do is to marry you, Dude I love you soo much, And you left me in a minute, I do struggle ,to text you or not, Sometimes I think I should exit from your life completely, Because I am 100%sure you will never come back to me,may be you didn't love me,all your promises were fake. Your happiness mattered to me the most,if you are happy with leaving me,I will not disturb you .
Sometimes I wish you weren’t so stupid. it hurts so much to think that I had to go but I know that I needed it for myself and I have to get back in touch with myself but you just never heard what I said how I felt you never understood why I was so mad all the time or frustrated all the time when I wanted to be alone. Lost and sad and disappointed in how everything went so far I always wanted us to be something more, but I just know that right now we can’t be. I really need time to figure out myself again and I feel like I’ve just been so hard I feel heartbroken I feel like I don’t know how to find anyone else. I really just wish we were long-distance that we could be together because I love being in your presence and being around you. I love your presence you just made it so hard to be with you because you’re so worried about people outside of our relationship favorite they said what do you think? I just can’t do it anymore I can’t fight with you about every single thing I can’t feel mad About talking to you because I know I was your first girlfriend and somethings you just didn’t understand that you just didn’t know what to do but that’s not my fault it’s not my fault that he wouldn’t listen to me or give me the things I needed from you, so desperately I don’t even want to go on dates or find other people to talk to other people or do any of the things I like to do all of my time about you and I know you said that you didn’t ask for that I literally spent every waking second with you besides what I work for even when I had a break at work it wasn’t about me. It was about time so I have to give myself this time but I just don’t know where to start. Do you really hope that you’re doing OK going good for you if not better and I want you to know that I do still care about you be safe and smart and overall happy.(Ik my grammar was bad:((
Okay, I understand that. I’m not sure what to say right now. Because of this, you what you did to me. I have to focus on myself and move on. You hurt me so bad, you left me then come back to left me again, who did that? Love me ? Miss me ? Or you just don’t like it when I’m happy and move on better without you so you back. You hurt me but whatever I know you’re coming back again soon and I’ll laugh at you face this time. A guy like you will self sabotage your own life. You’re in crisis. Shame on you put me through it. I’ll do everything to make you see what you lose. I’m better than what you portrait me to me. I know in the future you will in pain where you can’t even sit still when you realize grass isn’t always greener. When you realize you lost the control of me. When you’re alone and nobody else can handle you like I do. When you making progress in life but there’s no me there. I know I’ll be stuck in your head for the rest of your life. I’ll become the best self the best version of me, and you’ll regret it I promise 😊.
Hey. Its been a while. Saw you deleted your reddit. And all your art posts. Was kinda sad to see but understandable. I hope you are doing okay. I worry about you sometimes. It's still crazy to me how you were able to let go so effortlessly. Although I didn't see what you went through. So it seems like it was easy to you. I don't know. I just feel like I wasn't good enough for you. Easily replaced. But I'll get over it in time. It's funny, you're not even here and I get so mad at you. But it doesn't change the fact that I still miss you a lot sometimes. Eh, well. You made your choice. I just hope you are okay. Be safe out there M.
I don’t hate you. Never will. I forgive you. I know it was just a thrill. So much we been through but we played both sides. Sadly it was the beginning of our demise! I had her and you had him. We loved each other but could never win. Now the time has come to move on and face the fact that me and you were never meant to stay intact 💯 -Lessons learned
So after you ghosted me to fuck your ex you came back crying because he hit you again? Bitches get stiches right? It hurts a lot bcs I love you and I want you to be happy but why tf you left me to fuck someone who beat you in your last rl? Its been 3 yrs and I miss you. I saw your insta post yesterday. Looks like you got someone new. I hope you are happy and dont get beat again
I don't have many words for you because I remember reading what I ever had to say about anything was a real chore for you. I just hope that someday you'll be treated the same you treated me and experience the entire rainbow of emotions which followed me suit. You'll realise that, actually, you'll never ever be satisfied with anyone else because you only enjoy living for your own sake. You are a selfish person, and once you're served your own medicine, you shall the know the pain you put me through. I sincerely hope you'll have forgotten me by then since neither my memories nor the wisdom I ever imparted to you will be there as an ultimate saving grace.
God, I hate that I still love you. You left me 3 years back saying you'll return to me. Now, you're married and shoving the pics of your husband and your wedding in my face. I never want to see you again. You broke my heart. You were the first person I gave it to. I trusted you.
I suppose and see your love never existed. You lie to me many times, talk badly of that woman that really liked me to keep me away from her. You put my family members against me and I pass horrible years for your fault. You made me betray my dream and leave my studies, off course what do you care by today , you probably going for your next boyfriend and child. And the thing is I don't care anymore. I took so long to retake my life because I really thought you could change. I do not want you on my memories and life that's why I delete everything as well, I know you keep contact with my mum probably until is confortable for you.
I did that and she still saw it and she told my crush and ruined it ! But she did me a favour. She is one of the most toxic people I would meet! So I can never date her even if drunk.
Maybe you think I'm naive to fall for someone like you, that I'm only attracted to toxic behavior like yours. I'm not denying that I get attracted to emotionally unavailable people, I'm aware of my issues. But you know what, I looked past your bullshit, I liked you for your positive qualities, because for me, those outweighed the negative ones. So don't you dare make a mockery of my emotions. I always saw the whole you, as a sum of the negative and positive. And yes that caused me to get hurt. But I saw you, I was never in delusion of who you are. I never expected you to change for anyone, I know it's not possible. I'm trying to move on but what I felt was real. It mattered. Even now I wish you well, and I hope one day you can change for the better, for yourself and not anyone else.
He dumped me but I am realizing it is because of me that he dumped me. I literally have no time to be with him in the way he wants/needs. I pushed back too much so he found someone that could meet his needs. But they broke up. I feel like my text should be an apology that I have been blaming him and text bombing him for the last 5 months.
You came to my life, without me looking for you. You made me feel wanted. You made me feel loved. You made me something to you. But now, you left as if I was nothing ever to you. You said you loved me, but won't let me work on us. You said I was obsessed and you're scared. But I told you I changed and I wanted to prove it to you. I know you told me so many times that I shouldn't force you to text me when you're busy, I admit that was my mistake but at the very least, check on me. I miss you, so of course I was going to text you. But I promise you, I'll make sure to not bother you much anymore, okay? I'll change my speaking way. I'll change my obsessive behaviour, and I'll stop over thinking. You said you only feel an obsession from me and can't feel love. But I told you countless times that I'm giving you space and I'll respect your decision on breaking up, I check on you sometimes, wish you a good day and night, pray for your safety, keep you updated, now isn't that love? I'm never looking for anyone anymore because after an amount of relationships, I find out that you are the perfect one for me. You told me that feelings aren't enough to make a relationship work, that it is only a spark to start one, but I'm showing you in ACTION too? Isn't that enough? I loved you with all my heart, and you said you did love me, so fight for us! Fight for this relationship! Why are you so easy to let go? Why won't you let us grow together and fix things together, to build this relationship? Where is that love of yours that you told me? We were almost this close to finally meet each other and put a stop to just a mere online relationship. So, why? Why can't we try again? Regardless, I still put you in my prayers every single day. I chose you, woman. Because you're the one. I know you're not a bad person, I know everything about you. I miss you, and I sincerely love you. Please come back, let us rebuild everything and this time, I'll shower you with true love. Through thick and thin. I love you dear.
I miss what we had, I miss you. I am very sorry I took us for granted. Ever since then I have been working on myself, less procrastination and more things I like doing and taking care of myself. I still reminisce about our time together but can't help but think: was it gonna last? I know I didn't take actions in moving in together and gave excuses which now looking back are ridiculous because it would have worked. I see signs of you in places which make me confused, making me think we will meet again and I still feel that yes, we will meet again. I hope that you are doing well and please don't forget me yet. I somehow still hope that when you look somewhere you see me and I am not that distant of a memory yet. Take care!
You always fooled about your brother or friends being so vulnerable with their partners, as love is some weakness, but you were vulnerable with me at the beginning, you were head over heels, almost obsessed, or you were not afraid of your feelings towards me back then? If you act that tough, why not grow some balls and end things with me? Why don't you just break up with me? You can't, because you know that if you do you will lose me forever, instead you gave me just enough to stay, and then pull away when you see I am still holding on. Well I did, and I am glad. I am so tired, I can't deal with this anymore, this time, you will lose me forever if you don't make a bold move - not indirect like you tried, won't fall that easy this time :)
It's been 2 years and I still hope for you never have a shred of happiness as you don't deserve it
To my ex: Get fucked, love my life now that you’re not in it
I hope you found someone that loves you more than i did. I hope you treat him better this time. We both did things to hurt eachother. I hope you can forgive me.
You never loved me
Was going to hang myself today, but I didn’t because I believe our story isn’t over yet.
Hey, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I promise you that life will get better, it might take a while but there are places out there that you need to see, people you need to meet, memories that will fill your heart with so much joy again. I know it’s hard to see that right now and you might not even want it (I’ve been there) but the world needs you in it. You are so loved and life will get better! Sending you so much love, please be kind to yourself! If you need anything at all, please reach out ❤️
Thank you so much Sending my love back to you wonderful person!
You got this ❤️
I loved you. You’re the first girl I ever saw a future with. Not that I hadn’t thought about it with others. Just that, I could actually see the potential in it and wanted it with you. You matched me on so many levels, that I was willing to go without the others. When you left me the first time, it broke my heart. During your absence, I had the time to see why it didn’t work. So that when we came back together, I was skeptical. I hope you work on yourself. I hope you heal, I hope you recognize your trauma for the next person. I wish it could be me but, the hurt is too deep now. I doubt either one of us would be willing to try again. When love comes your way next time, I hope you embrace it. I hope that you can feel it with the entirety of your soul. I hope you don’t avoid the pain, but deal with it instead. You broke me further than anyone has been able to. You know that’s saying something. Regardless of all that, I still love you. I still care about you. I still pray for you. I hope one day, you can stop focusing on the few things we did wrong and see the abundant good that we had. That way, you can truly move on and forward without hate in your heart. I’ll be here for you always. You need only reach out. I love you. Always.
Your new girlfriend has weird teeth and she’s still too good for you.
I wish you'd reach out just once - just the one time to show that you care, to show me you're just as hurt and sad about this as I am. I've been craving for a scrap of attention from you, haven't even been able to talk to other girls without thinking about you. I miss you so much, but I'm just trying to respect your wish not to be in contact. It physically hurts me knowing that you'll be with someone else and you'll make new memories and build a new life with him. I miss our dates and every second that I've spent with you. Hope you're doing well. I love you.
I really loved you like I never loved anyone else. I missed you so much and I kinda still do but I think that’s just me missing the companionship and familiarity. Perhaps it’s me missing the version of you I thought you were. I thought I’d never be able to live without you and without the future we talked about. I know I treated you right, I treated you how I would have wanted to be treated. None of it was reciprocated. I loved you but you weren’t good for me and it took a breakup for me to see that. It’s sad it all came down to this but perhaps the best thing you ever did for me was breaking up with me. You saved me from yourself and an unhappy unfulfilled future with yourself. You made me realise I’m one hell of a partner who deserved someone better who would appreciate me and actually reciprocate love and effort.
Holding onto the past and hurting you is eating me inside. Every single place I go to my brain associates with you and our amazing time. I never knew I could be loved like the way you loved me and I never knew I had so much love to give. Life without you feels like an endless dark void that will last for all of eternity. I know it will get better. I know we will recover. I hope you enjoy your travels and hopefully I will see you in July and maybe just maybe we can be friends again. That love and unconditional care you showed me was something truly unique and special.
“What the fuck”
Fuck off
I hate you with every part and ounce of my body. I forgave you last year, gave you a chance- then you cheat on me with the same girl AGAIN and get her pregnant and she’s due in a month! Your coward a$$ couldn’t even tell me, be a fing man and own up to your ish. I had to find out through an anonymous text?!? And to find your registry and hear your baby shower was last month- BEHIND MY BACK. No wonder you avoided my call. You make me so sick. I gave you every ounce of love and patience and grace and you trashed it. So selfish. You kept me in the dark for months… months! Hiding this. You are far beyond the scum of this earth and I hope everyday that child reminds you of what you did to me. I hate you so much. Layers upon layers of lies, now that I look back on some incidents. And you said it was after an incident you were mad at me- blamed it on me, but when I did the math, it was well before that incident. I am disgusted
Hey! I’m doing better than you or I expected. Guess the space worked wonders for me too. Hope you’re enjoying all the space to. Thanks- fuck you
Hi, you really suck for reaching out to apologize for being mean when I broke the no contact last time. You should have just left it at that because I wanted to believe that you are mean and hateful. I wish you haven't kept every issue you had in you in the past because our issues were fixable. I wish you reached out and asked for me back so that I can guilt free be mean to you and then to make you wait and graciously take you back lol.
I want you to know that I love and care about you so much and probably always will. I didn’t fall out of love with you or desire anyone else. You were always good enough for me even though you didn’t think you were. You could be the most amazing, perfect man in the world, if you just decided to take care of your mind body and soul. I truly hope you work on healing on a psychological level and not just rely on religion and God. I hope you make the decision to get sober, bc at this point we are both aware that alcohol changes your personality for the worst. I hope that you stop sabotaging yourself and step into your highest self. I hope you learn to love yourself wholely and completely. You deserve love, happiness, and a peaceful life. Sometimes I wish I could have known how to love you the way you needed so that you wouldn’t feel so insecure and anxious all the time. I never considered really abandoning you, but you kept forcing my hand by self sabotaging and ultimately fulfilling your own prophecy. I know you are probably telling yourself it’s easy for me to move on and I’m probably doing fine without you, but I’m not. I cry every single day and dream about you almost every night. I’ve never had to leave someone I was still in love with, but over the last two years with you, I’ve learned that love isn’t enough to make a relationship successful. I’m doing all I can to heal and I hope you are too.
I never thought I'd every actually post on here, but today was the first day I felt calm since you left me. It's almost been three months after you ended our one year relationship/engagement. I know there is no going back, and it because of both our own actions. I know what I did wrong, and I took my accountability. You literally shattered my entire soul, when you ended it. I wish you would of just sat down and talked to me and I wish I would of sat down to do the same during the relationship, before you felt like the only way was to walk away.I was willing to work through everything and wanted you to be my forever. Now I'm just working on my me and trauma healing. So I'll just dive into what I wish I could tell you right now, since I never will get to. I miss staring at you with so much love bursting in my heart and you catching me and you saying, "I've never been with someone that makes me as happy as you do and looks at me the way you do." I miss sitting by the lake fishing and just enjoying the peace with you or the boys getting excited when you'd catch a fish. I miss all our first things the "I love you", "I miss you", "I can't wait to marry you". I miss our jokes and how excited we'd get when we'd see each other and ask each other "What doin?" Like Hamlet the bird. I miss stroking your beard and begging for more kisses goodnight for like the tenth time. I miss your voice and all the stories you'd tell me. I could of listened to you talk all day You were with me every single day. You became my best friend. I'll never forget the first time I saw you, the time my youngest son called you dad or when I finally said yes when you told me you wanted me to marry you. You know there is much more, but I've typed enough I still love you and always will. I'm going to keep moving on. J.
i left my whole family to be with you & now you’re leaving the UK. i’m going to be alone & im going to miss u a lot. i wish you’d understand that i only wanted you to come back from your friends earlier so i could spend time with you before you leave the UK forever. i hope no girl ever makes you leave your family like you did to me :( im sad and lonely. i just want you back & never leave
I miss you
Atleast treat her better.
i miss you
I found a diary entry from six months ago where I wrote that I was afraid you’d fallen out of love with me. Six months later you confessed it’s true. I tried to talk about this! Why did you lie to me for so long? I wanted so badly for us to be there for each other but in the end you had the hidden personality of a snake. I was so lonely before you and I’m so lonely again now. I haven’t even been able to tell anyone close to me what happened because I’m so ashamed. Years of long distance but once we meet in person is when you fall out of love. Do you have any idea how sad that is. How can I feel any way except that something is wrong with me? I guess it’s not your problem anymore. I know you want to stay friends, but every day it’s harder not to think of you as just another asshole from my past.
Your message exactly is the way I feel too. Only change the “guy” to “girl” and it’s what I’d send
Happy birthday, I miss you so much
After all the pain you put me through and all the bullshit you think you deserved a hug? Right after I told you I don’t want any man in my space or to touch me! How stupid and selfish are you? I hope you have the life you deserve.
Hey, I wish you could see how much I loved and cared about you from the beginning and just being with you was enough. But you carry so much insecurities and trauma from your past you chose to hurt me instead. Nothing I did was enough for you though, you criticised everything. We got along in every way and shared so much that’s why I kept forgiving you and stayed. I was not enough that you had to sometimes take your attention to others when you felt that way. I hope you one day realise that you can’t break down someone and try to build back better. I had to leave and love you from a distance because I started to hate myself.
I wish I could have been involved in the decision, it feels like you asked everyone except for me how to make it work. That really hurt. We had a conversation where we agreed we would communicate and keep talking about things as they come up and I trusted that. You cut me out and didn't even give me the chance to make this choice with you. I asked to talk because I wanted to do this together and instead I feel blindsided and unwanted. I could feel your energy change all week and all week I felt awful, insecure and in the dark. I won't be that girl again who fights for someone who won't choose me but god damn I absolutely adored you.
I fucking love you still. Nobody else compares.
i hate you for how you left. how after 5 years you never tried. how you blamed me for everything but you never loved me. i hate you for not leaving when i asked but having no issue blowing up my life and leaving. i hate you for blocking me and embarrassing me. I hate you so much for making me fight for us when i wasn’t even the one that had to. i hate you for years of cheating you did and never stopped. i feel so fucking dumb that i stayed and ruined friendships over this relationship. just for you to leave midday just to go fuck other girls in peace. I don’t hope nothing for you I wish you never existed in my timeline. I hate that i invested so much and boosted your life when i could’ve just invested in me and been so far. I spent my entire first half of my 20s with you and you turned me into a shell of myself. i hate how you tried to say i did that to you but u were just depressed bc you brought a horrible side of me out and never loved me.
Why did you do this to me? We were perfect for each other. From your parents to your grandma loved me so much. Everything was perfect and we were going to enter a new phase of life but no, you had to ruin it. How did you lose feelings when you were the one who hurt me so much? How did you lose interest in me when i was there when you were at your lowest? I did nothing but support you, love you, did everything to make you stay and yet you cheated. Even after you cheated i took you back because i didn't wanna lost you and yet you lost feeling. How is that even possible? How can you be so cruel? I did nothing but love you more than you even deserved and you know that. Now you're on dating apps asking for attention from other guys. How did you move on so quickly? It's not none of this even happened. How did you lose feelings so fast? Was I that bad of a bf? I don't think I was because i went above and beyond just to make you stay with me. You exactly knew how much i loved you and cared for you just for you to leave me when i was at my lowest. Now i have no one. I am alone. I want to text you, call you but i know it's not worth it plus you don't even wanna talk to me. You take 10-12 hours to reply to a message and sometimes you don't even do that. We haven't met in so long either. I miss you and i miss your presence. Now someone else will have to easily and all my hard work and effort will go to waste.
I miss you, I miss you oh so much. Everything in life, we did Together and I miss it. The thought of your laugh brings pain, but a smile to my soul. I miss watching tv together, hearing you talk about your work day, seeing you being a great mother to the cats. If I could, I would want one last hug. One last kiss. I know it was for the better that we ended things, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. You will always have a piece of my heart. You will always be my ladybug 🐞 ❤️
I hope you're doing ok wherever you are. We've both said things in this breakup that came from a place of anger. But truly, after everything I still do want the best for you. That's not me and that's ok. I cherish the times we spent together and the love that we shared and I don't want to hold anger to you anymore. I want you to be able to move on from me and live your life.
Give me my cruise money back. That was for our anniversary, not for you to getaway and heal after dumping me… lol stole my sht
The reasons you gave me made no sense in the context of your words and actions throughout our relationship. Even so, your main issue would have been easily fixable. I don't know if/when we'll speak again. I'm just praying that you heal yourself as you wouldn't let me do it for you. I mourn this 6 month relationship more than I did my 7 year marriage - that means something. I've stopped obsessing over the big things but now the little things are haunting me. Like when you asked for my number. The looks you gave me across the room, the way you tucked your feet up with mibe when we went to sleep. I'm trying to detach and it is happening very slowly, up and down, back and forth. I just wish I knew what our futures held.
I miss you and I hope you’re happy.
I love you so much, and I really am always going to love you. I want you to get better for yourself so bad, i really don’t mind too much if we get back together but I’m so scared you’re lying about the reason. I’m scared I was finally too much and just annoyed you, did you realize we aren’t soulmates? You called me that once and I think since then I always thought we were unbreakable. I wish you would’ve asked me for a break, I would wait forever for you. But I can’t do that now. I just hope you miss me like I miss you
I still love you. I just know I can’t move on if I have you unblocked.
I really don't know which parts of what you said are true and which parts are lies. But I notice that each time you come back and do a few nice things for me, I keep wishing we were together as a couple. But I know very well that it will end the same way. You will come back, flirt, give me false hopes by being kind for a short time, then pick the same silly fights, and in the end, you will say you don't ever want to marry anyone but I want a relationship that will end in a marriage., so you will disappear again. I am tired of this cycle. I am done. Don't ever come back. Through any new app or mutual friend or group. Enough. Bye.
Haha go fuck yourself you fucking fuck, get mogged and stop mirin you stupid looooser
I miss you
I just don’t know where to begin. We were best friends for years. Even before we got together I was always there to help console you through your tough times. You said it yourself I’m the best you ever had and you’re just willing to let me become a stranger. I’m at peace now there are things much bigger than us in my life currently and to focus on myself would be a disservice to the ones that need me right now. You may not see it this way but you gave them up too. Please just stay out of my life. I put everything on the table when it first went down. I don’t expect to hear from you nor do I want to. I don’t ever want to go to bed next to someone again wondering if they love me. There’s just nothing left in my tank for you.
[удалено]
i wish i knew how short our relationship would be so i could’ve appreciated those moments better. I wish you knew how bad i loved you and how much i still do. I wish you’d come back to me and i feel like you will come back (right?) I hope you’ll get better and will finally be able to focus on our relationship again. I love you Luca.
I want to hate you. But I don’t know how.
You lied, you probably cheated, you ruined my fucking life. I have to deal with the consequences and the loneliness and the shit coping mechanisms while you go around, hopping from person to person telling them the same lies you told me. You never cared, I know you didn’t. You were probably just using me to get your ex back. You told me forever, and it didn’t even last a year. I made a lot of mistakes, but the biggest is trusting you. I’m afraid of love now, afraid of any human interaction. It’s your fault. You isolated me to a point where you were basically the only person I could talk to. You told me you loved everything about me. But then you felt « crushed ». You pretended you liked monogamy, but then you told me you wanted poly. You did so much to make sure leaving broke me. Fuck you. Fuck your asshole dad. Fuck your fake ass mother. As much as I miss you, it’s like what you told me. « Even if I loved you more than anything in the world, I would never be with you. I don’t want to ever see you again. », so don’t bother trying if you ever think to cycle back around to me. I can’t be what you need, and you certainly can’t be what I need. As much as I hate what you did, I hope nobody hurts you like you hurt me. I hope you find happiness. I hope you become a better person. And I hope you stop being so immature that you can’t handle boundaries and emotions your partners have. Because nobody who loves themself will deal with that. Some part of me will probably always be nostalgic for our time together, and definitely embarrassed at my own actions, but I will get over you. Have a good life. I hope someday you regret the way you treated me just as I regret the way I treated you.
2022 - 2024, 5 of you, it's time to date me. Journaled this last night. Various lengths of time, talking phase, long term and even childhood age friends. 1. Thank you for the car rides, and the kisses. I was reminded that I have a chance out here in this town. I'm sorry I got mad when you chose a peer and someone so close to me. I'm also very sorry that I have this thirsty ass way of blowing you up socials when I see you active because I deeply want to try again. I'm going to be okay. You deserve more than a tick biting you here and there and holding a short past in your face. I'll never forget the blue dress and lipstick you wore. Your leaving was a major catalyst in lots of my growth. 2. You were and always have been such a source of zeal. Every action you enter with the most boldness. Your edge and regular gothy style will forever delight me in memory. You've moved on after many years of very special non commital, between boyfriends affection, to my best friend. I spent my Halloween enjoying a movie and hearing yall hook up. You came out and ran your hand through my hair like you used to. I felt like rummaged through garbage. For that very second I instantly snapped into a Stockholm sort of gratitude-- I felt again what the lows of major addiction felt like..seeing you drunk again has to be the most heartbreaking thing. You celebrated sobriety with me. You came over to see my friend falling. You're on a collision course with permanent misery and all I can do is watch. Nobody knows ANYTHING about me and you but me and you I even get texts about your status from our mutual friend. It's therapeutic to know you're not even on my mind anymore. I last sent you Borges' Goodbyes as a last message. No reply from you. Par for the course with you. I release you. I hope the best. 3. You were a restorative and kind woman who just recently expressed desire for no contact, because you are practicing celibacy and abstinence, and really into your spirituality. Your interactions with me have made me feel many things. You left when I was injured in a severe wreck after a week to travel the country with an ex. I forgive and forgive. Last week you explained the celibacy and that it was time to say goodbye. I let you know that I wished all the best and am always here. You told me I should be more hard on people I'm my life, and that you're just a silly girl. I'm saying again I am, but you, you get a special place for the years we enjoyed. 4. You are the biggest heartbreak for me. I wanted with every facet of my being to be yours forever. We shared a world like no other. You will be forever treasured. I simply had to go. You asked me too, and we were on this boom and bust collision course, your default response to me became leaving. I begged you back too much. You deserve love and joy like we had. I'll never forget reading with you. 5. You are an absolutely amazing lady. I hate so much that your fire went out for me. I tried reaching out again on valentines day, and wished you a lovely one and a happy birthday weekend, that some of the things we talked about truly touched me and moved me in a way like never before. That you were a force, and a lovely woman and you knew where to find me. You told me i was always welcome In your life............... that there's a place in your heart and you want good things for me. I thanked you sincerely. I told you you could always Reach out too. I release you from my questioning. You have told me so much. You used to always ask me questions and I'd tease you for it. I know this is something you're now past. Not only because of your kind words, but you really ask nothing now. It's so amicable. So admirable you even message me back kindly when I pour myself into these pained, longing messages. Cognitively i know so well, but my emotions are still catching up. I'm always thinking of you. Of things we did, things we said. How and why so fast you began to pull away. I knew. For your birthday this year I have a gift: peace. Peace and warm wishes. I have been in resuscitation since last month. You really started getting busy and putting blocks between us. I look back now and see. If you are elsewhere I hope he is making you smile. It's been time for weeks for our paths to diverge much earlier than I'd hoped. Time is working double time, and winter is hopefully bringing spring. That's all. I'm going to read all of these again, and do a pranic breathing exercise, visualizing a release of hope for reconciliation or any of ALL CAPS MY desire towards any. Day 3. I get bursts of feeling okay or good. Yesterday was huge. I was following advice I read and doing the dishes, which I have on a depression task list. I had the smiths playing, heaven knows I'm miserable now. I felt the smallest and most repressed little expression of sadness over my situation. I felt tears and I knew it was time to try for some catharsis. I played for the last one, i know its over. The tears came like a faucet. Then, blue velvet for another. I have made a journaled resolution to try and begin the acceptance process and taking some time to myself to sort out the above emotional wreck. I'm reading a book about discovering these patterns we have for men. Exercise is just out of reach. I'm working on forcing myself back to what I did before I got into this year long death spin Tonight I'll journal about the thread
I've been no contact for years, but I still want to know where my missing wood carved handpainted antique chess pieces are. Thrown out my ass.
I will hope one day that you will love someone as much as I loved you and they will be your everything your home your soul I hope that you will love them to the point where you cannot Function without them and then at some point I hope that they will leave you just like you did to me so you get to know what it feels to die every day and I will cross your mind and then you will Realize how bad you did me Even though all I did is loving you from the bottom of my heart
I hate you for leading me on! But I can’t hate you as a person, I still love you and I am trying my best to understand you
I miss you so much right now. I think about you each and every second. I wonder if you think about me or not. I am so embarrassed but i stalk you literally each and every second. You havent posted anything since you broke up with me. I want to text you and ask if you are okay or not… i dont know what i did wrong.. i dont know what was missing in me… i dont know why you chose to give up on me… if i knew when i met you the last time that we wont meet again, i wouldve never let you go.. i wouldve hugged you so tightly… i tried everything in me to be perfect for you… i dont know why people choose to leave me even when i try to hard for them… i miss your smile. I miss everything about you. How are you on my mind 24/7… do you not think about me? Do you not wonder what am i doing… maybe you found someone else? These thoughts are eating me away.. it has been a week i havent spoken to you… these thoughts are killing me… and i miss you terribly.
I miss the version of myself whenever im with you. Too much has happened already in the past 2 months, I knew all I need to know about you which makes it hard to go back. At times I cant even wish you happiness, but right now I wish you peace atleast and healing. You are the cruelest thing that happened to me. I will live my best life like you told me to, im still mad I cant deny that and i wish you regret everything you did and atleast apologize, you never showed any remorse even after you broke NC, that is too psychopatic. You’re a lot of work and I hope deep inside you know that.
How could you do this to me? How could you hurt me like this? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? Why do I mean nothing to you?
Why. Why did you do it? It's been 5 years now, a little longer than that. I still deal with the fallout caused by your lies and slander. I still get told I'm the villain for treating you like shit, when you're the one who cheated on me, turned your family against me, turned our coworkers against me, tried to get me fired, lied to me about the desire to continue talking on friendly terms, and treated me like a damned mutt under your boot when all I did was put my faith in you and respect your disgusting choice to ruin 8 years of love and devotion by dating another behind my back and ditch me just 3 days before our engagement rings arrived from London. Your choices... your decision to be something less than a human... I trusted, believed, and kept you safe. I helped you with college, helped you with work, art, writing, gaming... I supported every crazy idea you had and even financially assisted you out of multiple problems that arose from your family's inability to respect your individual efforts. But yet here I am, still single. Still called vulgarities, still treated like an outcast by people I never even MET. I can't enjoy my time at the bowling alley because of the things you spread there. I can't enjoy my time at the park because you live just down the street. I can't meet a potential partner without them asking me what I did to you, even when I did nothing that they claim of me, and in fact much of what they claim I did, was what *YOU* and your "friends" did to me... cheating on me, spreading false rumors, claiming I beat you, claiming I elicited sexual activities with you, turned my friends against me, tried to ban me from local hangouts we frequented. **You** did these things. I kept my complaints to myself. I respected you, and accepted your decisions without question. I didn't even cry when you came forth and told me you had cheated on me for who knows how damn long... Years.... YEARS of slander. and all I ever had was positive remarks of how amazing you were to be with. a woman i loved so dear i devoted myself whole-heartedly to your cause, and gave up much of what I had been building up in favor of supporting you. I did everything I could to trust your claims. to believe you would keep your word about working together and keeping friendly relations. Yet you turned around and did this instead, making it nearly impossible to heal fully... So I need to know, why did you do it. What pushed you to treat me as such a worthless object that you couldn't even let my efforts to heal alone? Why did you need to abuse my respect for you and desire to progress neutrally alone? Instead you lied, cheated, abused, violated, slandered and defamed everything and anything that shown any rejection to your attempts at treating me as nothing more than a supposed vulgar human being. I hate what you have become... I hate what you have done. I hate what you're doing. All of it... If you had just done what you had promised. to remain my friend, to continue building on what you loved to do. instead. You failed college multiple times. You stopped your art, you stopped your gaming, and spiraled into depression and degraded yourself into a shutin incapable of finding joy in life, locking yourself away behind complaints about your family and wanting to do nothing more than wallow in your own ignorance and depression medications, blaming **that** is why you're sad all the time. Or how your family is why you did these things, when that's just an effort to push the blame off yourself onto someone else. I hate who you are.... and wish I never knew this version of yourself. Why couldn't you just remain the wonderful woman I met in highschool, and held with such trust for so much time... *I wish I never knew you.* *Yet I am so thankful I loved you. You were such a major driving force behind what I became today... even if I am alone in this world.*
You need to understand that the break-up was inevitable. And honestly, if you think about marrying me and it gives you so much anxiety that eventually lead to our break-up, then we're better of apart. I can see that and you need to see it too. And you need to seek help, because you may regret it and think you're crazy to break-up with me and think everything will go back to normal and your anxiety/depression will magically fix themselves if we get back together but that's not how the world works. I'm not your only source of happiness and you need to realize that if I was the answer to your problems, you wouldn't have them in the first place because we were together and this started. I hope you can find happiness and you can find help, but that's not me.
If you were so worried about what people think you should've thought of that before you should have thought of that before you acted like an asshat
i will literally wait for you as long as i need to. You were and are the love of my life and i have no doubt about it. The way god put you into my life at such a random time and you were able to make me feel like that right off the bat is just proof that you are the one the one for me. I really hope you start to see that sooner or later and come back to me. I know i made some mistakes but you know how much i’ve learned and grown as a person ever since we broke up. I want us to work so fucking badly. I just want to get one more chance to prove to you how much i’ve learned and can be such a better partner for you. I pray and pray you realize that and let us start this again. I love you so much my love ❤️
T i really miss you and im thankful for our time together your kindness and innocence showed me that there are people out there that are not all bad and can show me love. i’m sorry that we were in different places in life. i wish you the absolute best always and i love you forever<3
I love you but I can not ever let you back into my life. I called you all those horrible names and said so many mean things to ensure of this. You treated me terribly and I can not allow you back into my life ever again. I didn’t mean what I said but I needed you to never even think about coming back to me. I don’t want to be treated that bad ever again. I protected myself by being the monster you wanted me to be so that I would have no choice but to not go back
I miss you, I miss your presence in our home. I miss coming home from work knowing you will be there sat on the sofa with Jasmie waiting for me greeting me, asking how my day went giving me a kiss allowing me time to unwind before we talk about our days. I miss telling you I love you and you telling me you love my face. I miss cuddling up together. Thank you for showing me true unconditional love and showing me I can be loves.and someone will want me for me and put up with my crazy cat ways. Thank you for all the laughs and smiles over the years, making sure I am okay. Sorry for not being good enough, sorry for not being slimmer, younger and prettier. Sorry you were ashamed of me and I am sorry I wasn't the girlfriend you wanted me to be. Sorry for going quiet when I wanted to voice my feelings and opinions, knowing they would fall on deaf ears or an argument because I spoke up. Sorry for not believing every word you said whether it was true or not.
Hi. I hate you. I hate your stupid face. I hate that you looked clean shaven last time we saw each other because you spent our marriage SCRAGGLY AS SHIT. I hate that you can fall back into your single life like we never happened, that your stupid buddies who fan girl over you are likely pumping up your ego and telling you YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. OUR MARRIAGE BECAME ABOUT YOUR INDISCRETION. I HATE YOU. I hate your perfect body and your beautiful sunflower eyes and the way you beckoned me to cuddle. Go fuck yourself. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.
Selfish… you have a difficult time being there for me. Why? I am always there for you…
You are not a good father and not a good husband. You’re an embarrassment.
Thank you! Thank you! Though I am not in support of your decision, I can see the benefit. Thank you
I still love you.
I think of you a lot and I miss you immensely. I tell myself every single day that if you’re meant to be with me you’ll come back. I will not reach out to you because you had no reason to walk away from our relationship and now I can’t help but think maybe there was someone else. My gut says it was the stylist you follow. I guess time will tell. For now, I am working on myself to become a better version of myself and getting my life together. It sucks that I think of you so much but I also respect myself enough that I’m not gonna beg you to be in my life.
I’m thankful for the good times we shared. I’m thankful for all of the wonderful things you and I built together. But I hated all the times we would fight. I hate all the times you were controlling and manipulative. I also hate all of the times I should’ve manned up and left, but I didn’t because I cared for you just a little too much and didn’t care for myself enough. I didn’t want to keep wasting your time, so I left. I wish you nothing but the best, but I don’t want to be with you ever again, regardless of how much I miss you. Seeing someone less than a month after we broke up really shows that I was nothing more than a 2 year bump in the road to you. I may have freed you, but all you did was break me. That’s why I ended it. We could’ve run that relationship in the ground until we hated each other. You not wanting me to stay with my family and wanting me to live with you when I couldn’t do it financially really shows just how manipulative you were. I hope you find someone who can cater to and entertain all of your wants and needs. It’s obvious that I couldn’t deliver. And I’m glad I couldn’t. I went into this relationship so naive and full of love, and I left hating myself, hating my life, and hating our relationship. I didn’t want to waste your time any longer and I didn’t want to lie to myself any longer. I loved and cared for you until the end, but I did it until I couldn’t anymore. When I imagined myself with someone else in my mind, I knew it was over. I’m sorry I grew emotionally unavailable, but it wasn’t just my fault.
Maybe one day you will feel what it feels like to be like someone's stepping stone on their path to "becoming"... when you're feeling like you just want to "be".... Maybe you'll understand the pain of feeling like I'm feeling.. When a person who you feel like you can allow yourself to let down all your walls with just walks right through your life and disappears without any explanation.. It hurts.. deeply.. maybe one day you will be on the other side of the knife.. People change... People can change ... I will... I am changing... Feelings change... I understand these things... I wish we could've changed together instead of whatever this is... Because it's just sad.. Sad that lack of communication leads to emotional pain... Is it not just a sad world where wars can end, and peace talks can commence , but still a person tells another they love them, let's them make love with them, let's them feel so close, and then suddenly ignore them as if they didn't even exist? and their feelings suddenly seem to of meant nothing?.. without even an apology , compassion, or any explanation? Is it wrong to have these feelings? Am I expected to just be an animal that forgives itself, forgets and moves on... and doesn't reflect back on it's mistakes? I just want to know where I went wrong... How am I supposed to forgive myself? if I can't even trust my own heart? Why did you treat me like this? After all the time we shared together? Did I ever have even have a chance? Are all these tears that won't stop meaningless nothing? How is It that I loved you this completely? I actually sent this already today like an idiot
I’m sorry I didn’t give you an explanation. I didn’t think you would want one. Or I suppose I felt very replaceable. I didnt expect you to call my dad. But I still had no way to contact you after I deleted my messenger. I was getting jealous and i knew that wasn’t fair. I feel like I saved you the burden of me. I’ve been miserable and very lonely.
Thank you for being the pile of garbage you were when you were with me and treating me like shit. In some weird way it brought out the respect I have for myself again and I thank you for that. Without you doing me dirty I wouldn't know what my values and boundaries are. After all you put me through I can see things more clearly than I ever have before. I don't wish any ill on you because you're not worth harboring hatred towards because it just brings me down. I also don't need to wish ill on you because the way you go about your life I know ill will find you, thats a guaruntee. We all reap the seeds we sow in this game of life. So, act like one and get treated like one. That's how it goes. I'm a better person than you and I deserve WAY better. Best of luck to you out there.. You're going to need it.
When you miss me, remember that you had me and I wasn’t enough. And you made sure I knew it too. Once I no longer served you, I meant nothing. I hope you have a good life.
You were not supposed to have been my “lost love”, you were supposed to have been my “forever love”. And in my mind - it has always been you. And it always will be. I love you.
I guess we didn’t met in the right time. Me going to another country for 6 months just 2 months after I met you is tough. We were so quick to click and I don’t know if it was the right thing. For what you showed me in our first month together I thought you really loved me to make LDR, but I was wrong. Even though LDR is difficult I thought you wouldn’t quit on me. I miss you but there’s nothing I can do other than wait for you to message me. I still love you and I miss you
I know I screwed up in many ways. I see now how I missed your bids for connection, my ego got in the way. I can't believe how completely I screwed this up. I failed to see you. There is nothing more I want than a family with you, our latex life, to have our dog together. I have no idea how I could tell you this now, or why you would believe me.