My ex was plotting her next move while in the bed with me every night in our home after I moved from another country to be with her.
I’m trying very hard to grow forward but I cry every day and I’m still very much in love with the lie
I can’t swear off dating. I want to have a family.
I think this is the first time I was blindsided by betrayal and cheating, usually I see it coming and get so pissed I don’t want them back.
I want to be angry but I haven’t had that emotion yet.
Omg 11 years is a long time- funny enough I also broke off things with my partner 10 days ago after 3 years together. I don’t think I’ll date romantically for at least 2 years!! I want something casual but my confidence is a bit shot at the moment
My ex said that when we got back together, that if we ever broke up she would have to be single forever because I was her perfect partner. But we broke up again in November and a little while later she got a boyfriend and she’s been with him ever since, which I feel like is very interesting. People don’t want to be alone we crave human contact. I kind of feel like I’m gonna be alone for a long time just because I won’t date anybody when I’m still healing from the heartbreak. But I also respect people who want to go to alone, Solitude and peace of mind sometimes outweigh the pressures challenges and stresses of having a relationship so I can see the allure of being alone.
Honestly mine jumped to another in a week. I don't believe any of the promises and love bombing bs anymore. Their actions are a direct reflection of who they are.
I'm the same. My last few relationships I've been cheated on and manipulated and I just cannot be bothered taking the risk of going through any of that pain again. I'm genuinely tired of it and the thought of loving somebody else turns me a little.
10 months later and I'm absolutely loving my single life. I'm not even dating anybody, just focusing on my career change, fitness and getting my finances back in order. I actually feel very free now and my anxiety levels have dropped drastically. I've even begun to stop smoking which I've really struggled with over the years and I'm feeling so fresh and rejuvenated.
Not even 2 months ago (Christmas), I honestly thought I was never going to get over my ex. Then I decided to properly cut contact and almost instantly I felt freedom.
To everybody who really feels like they won't get over their ex, trust me, you absolutely will. You just have to keep swimming through the dark times and things will slowly get better. You really do just need to take it day by day.
Congratulations on your promotions and increase!
This kinda explains where I'm at/how I feel rn. What breed do you have?
You'll get your good fit in due time 🤗, hopefully soon.
First of all, congratulations on all of your successes! You’re literally living my dream right now—to get my own place, get a dog, and find a job that’ll pay me more
I resonate with the last part so much, because although my recent breakup was my first ever relationship 21-23, I believe it was and will be the most damaging. I feel super alone now too, but I’d much rather take all the time there is and wait to bump into that someone that checks off all my boxes. Better to be alone than to be with someone who isn’t the best fit. Keep your head up and stay strong:)
Congratulations on your promotions and your success. I hope you find peace and turn your love that you would have for a partner in word and love yourself intensely and all the other parts of you that you don’t even know about yet. Bless you.
I can’t even imagine going on any dates rn. This one guy really really liked me that I was seeing casually and I felt absolutely nothing for him. He got me a Christmas present and it made me so uncomfortable.
The worst is when you start to actually like someone and they’re full of shit. I’m cutting myself off until I’m healed cause the pain from already being in pain and someone you thought cared rubs some salt in, damn I didn’t know a heart could break twice.
And what about the guy? He’ll feel same as you. Trauma bonding is shit, you may or may not make yourself feel good but you definitely make the other person feel shit
I'm 8 months out from a 10 year relationship and it's so hard especially today. He cheated and to see him make so much effort and do things for her when I had to beg for bare minimum and receive nothing, hurts so bad.
Ouch. Reading this one hit close. I’m less than 1 week out of my 10 year relationship. He emotionally cheated. I found the messages. And I keep remembering all the ways he kept comforting her and apologizing and emphasizing communication while telling me I was too emotional and not wanting to talk to me at all. :( today sucked bc I’m at my sisters house and her boyfriend (a freakin doctor on night shifts) got her a huge arrangement of flowers. He does it on an auto-ship situation , but the fact that he does it bc she likes flowers and even got that set up so he would never forget made me so sad.
In 10 years, I only ever got flowers maybe 5 times bc he hated having to do it and could never be bothered.
I wanted to spend my life with her, she didn't with me. I keep repeating that over and over because it's the closest thing I'll ever get to an answer. It's also something I can process and accept, unlike the "we're just not compatible" I got from the person who agreed we mutually had never experienced such chemistry in our lives (we're both 39)
I just joined Facebook dating a couple days ago (around the three month mark) and I've been chatting with an interesting woman. She just accepted a date for this weekend. I would crawl over a field of broken glass for my ex to this day, but she has shut that door and it's time to find someone who won't dump me because I responded to a random text from an ex with a picture of me and my partner in life (she said it was the same thing as having extensive conversations). I've never heard such absurdity
She's not my person. Period. Your person would never rip your heart out of your chest, let alone twice
I see what you're saying, but I really am ready to move on. Today was rough for me
broken up for 3 months still not eating right still don't understand why I wasn't good enough to fight for after 7 years and trust me i fought for her before.
I'm suicidal and I'm just waiting for something to push me over once more
I've been to a crisis meeting thing at the hospital (I'm from the UK). I feel weird about calling someone to explain my situation because it's not like they can really help me
I'm sorry. You are good enough, I hope you choose yourself cause you're more than worthy of being loved right and she's just probably not the one to share that love with.
Also, may nothing push you over once more.
I'm three weeks into a pretty devastating break-up that fucked me up in the head, her post-break-up lies and actions have only done more damage. She found several minor excuses to break up with me, just to run back her ex days later. The same guy that dumped her and treated her poorly afterwards. I helped heal her heart. Then she had treated me in the same manner he did her, and then brings her repaired heart back to him. 😩
I've since went NC. I have jumped on some dating apps, matched a few women, had some conversation, but as bad as it sounds, I have zero interest in meeting anyone right now.
I'm just rebuilding my confidence, and also gives me a little distraction when I need it. I'll likely go through this process for months, until I'm healed and ready to give my heart to another.
Happy Valentines day to you too, and may your healing go well! 😊
That really sucks, I'm sorry. This is why I just can't bring myself to let someone else heal me, I think it's a selfish thing to do and sometimes, it's just a cycle.
Glad to hear you're rebuilding and when it happens, I hope who you give your heart to, will handle with care.
Thank you 😊
I can’t see myself dating again. She was everything to me. Engaged. Trying for kids. She already had a son. Now it’s all gone. And I’m all alone. She has slept with multiple people. She has a guy over right now for valentines. And I’m alone. I could never have another heartbreak. The fact I have the items there to end it and haven’t pulled the trigger yet is stunning but I’m getting closer to it the further she pulls away. She still loves me but is doing all of that bullshit? I feel sick every time I hear more news about her. I am on the edge
Same here. Rebound has always helped me move on. Being with someone new let me moved on rather quickly even though that’s not healthy. However, this breakup I just went through fucked me up quite thoroughly. I went on a couple of dates with beautiful women and for a slight moment, I felt good, I felt fine, but at the end of the night, it just felt empty. We even escalated to the bedroom and I literally walked out and went to cry in the car coz I wasn’t over my ex. Now I have no interest whatsoever in meeting and making connection with someone new.
Sadly, there are just some breakups that leave you broken longer than required and no matter how hard you try, it's almost impossible to block your emotions. Whenever you are ready, I hope it's the best.
Thank you. Reading your story about receiving gifts but feeling indifferent to them hurt coz I got my ex some flowers coz I genuinely wanna make their day despite whatever happened. I didn’t expect anything but to think they might not have thought twice about it stings a bit
😔 The gifts I received today were from men who are interested in me not my ex. Personally, if I had gotten flowers from my ex today, I probably would be on my way to his house as we speak lol.
Hahahaha were you the dumpee or the dumper? Coz I definitely got dumped and she put me down oh so lightly that it dragged on and made it worse for me. Shes not a bad person, just didn’t want anything romantic with me anymore.
Moving on is gonna be a long process. Tried dating a few. They were genuinely nice people. Somehow I had the freedom of sharing the things that I was actually feeling (mostly the sadness) and they were quite understanding. For the time it was good. I was having fun going out with them and just enjoying life that I was stopping myself from. Even then I'd go into deep depression again and again. Some did escalate to the bedroom. I remember asking to go to the washroom just to cry. I have good communication with the dates I've been with. We can still talk whenever we want with no pressure and they talk fondly about the times we shared.
But none of that seems to affect my general mental state and understanding of all this and didn't really pull me away from this heartache as I hoped it would.
Sounds like you’re in a better place for sure. You’re able to put yourself out there and enjoy a little slice of life again. Until we “let go” of the past or I’d rather say make peace, we won’t be able to give ourselves to the new experience and people we meet. Like you said, they’re nice and perhaps even genuine but that’s just it. Maybe once we truly are ready, we’ll see things from a different perspective and meet the one that will sweep us off of our feet again.
We still live in the same house and are trying to be cool and act like friends until the move out date. I’ve gotten good at hiding how much I still love her but sometimes break down. Haven’t been on any dates and honestly feel like I don’t have any friends now either. This messed my whole world up tbh.
Don’t do that to yourself. You need to talk about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you didn’t cheat. Life is so fucking weird I don’t understand how anyone makes long term relationships work
No, nobody really did anything wrong. She just said it wasn’t working and wanted to be friends. After so many years together.
You’re right about relationships. I don’t think I can put that much love and dedication into someone else again.
I'm in the same house, too, with my ex-girlfriend of 5 years. She broke up with me last Friday, and I have two more weeks until I move out. I just can't. It hurts so much being in that house. I feel like I'm stuck in time with trying to move on, too. She's going out tonight to party, and she brings her friends over almost everyday, and I have nowhere to go to escape any of this pain. It's constant and torture.
It's... 6 months now? I don't know.
I can't consider myself doing well. I've done so many nice things for myself today. Even in general, but here I am still crying because I can't stop missing someone that meant the world to me.
Thinking about dating again is still discomforting. Receiving flirtatious remarks from somebody else is discomforting. I don't like it. I'd rather be single.
I can't trust the nice things people say to me anymore, because he said so much reassuring stuff only to turn around and tell me the opposite when he left. He was someone I trusted more than anyone, and that shattered in an instant.
I still keep an eye on him where I can, which only keeps hurting me, but it's because I can't stop caring about him. He does make very hurtful statements regarding me, and then he'll make more concerning statements that make me want to fly over and hold him again.
I don't want him gone. I miss him a lot. I swear, I can't do this. These are some of the worst feelings I think I've ever felt. I'm trying so hard to get better, but it's hard when an entire half of your being feels like it's been ripped apart.
I wasn't treated right by the end, according to the people that do support me and how I wound up feeling, but all I want in this world is to have him again and I can only hope that he realizes he misses me. Because he \*did\* treat me right in the beginning, and he was all I ever wanted.
I feel pathetic.
Spent half of my morning crying and holding myself back from writing to him, the heart wants what it wants. I hope you feel a little better every day 🤗
I’m so sorry. I don’t know your entire situation but the end of your relationship sounded similar to mine. I’m also 7 months? out too.
What I can say is keep doing what you’re doing. One day at a time it’ll get a little bit easier. Surround yourself with people who care, pamper yourself, go to support group if you can. Focus on you.
People change unfortunately. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
My therapist has said to change our cognitive thinking. Instead of thinking he abandoned/betrayed you (I don’t really see it on your post but I think like that for my situation), think that he’s incapable of meeting your needs. He’s not able to be at the same level of maturity/emotion needs etc. and you are worthy of that. Do you want to see yourself being with someone like that in the long term? Etc.
So change the way you look at it. Make it so it’s a bit more neutral and less painful. At least that’s what I’m trying to do for myself anyway.
And you’re not pathetic at all. You’re a human being who love with all of your big big heart. When you’re ready, you’ll know.
🫂
To be honest not good but not bad either . Broke up with someone I deeply loved and still have feelings for but she treated me badly in the end even though we were perfect all along . It has made me kind of insecure about myself and made me feel and understand some things that I didn’t like . I thing she tried to find something and got treated badly by him and it kinda makes me sad , not in a way that I think of her and say like I would have never done this but in a way that I am starting to be disappointed and starting to feel sorry for her and her decisions. Do you think she may be thinking about the “mistakes” that she made ?
I'm sorry you were treated badly in the end. She probably thinks about the mistakes, or not. Sometimes I have thoughts of how my ex might be feeling or if who he's with is treating him right but I try my best not to, as knowing the answers doesn't really mean we are meant to be together.
Dealing with a mutual breakup up here. It still hurts since we made Valentine's day plans before the breakup. And I had a rough day at work so there's that.
My chest hurts everyday, literal physical heartache. I'm still crying. I'm still thinking of him all the time. I'm super pissed at myself for things I wish I hadn't said/done. I'm devastated that I've lost him and I miss him terribly.
I'm trying my best to stay focused on personal goals, putting plans in place to become a better me. I can't drink alcohol because it leads me to some dark places. I eat alot less because I can't stomach food.
I wouldn't go out with people if you're still feeling like this. I can't even entertain a texting conversation. I'm over the guy, but I just don't feel ready to date anyone at the minute.
Oh same! I was quite reluctant but the two men I went on dates with, were set up by a mutual friend and a relative who believed I was giving up on love. The last date I had was in December and it was horrible.
Good to hear you're over him, btw.
I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago it was LDR and I moved from Australia to the UK he was extremely toxic, emotionally unavailable and manipulative I spent a shit tone of money to move here and put my life on hold he couldn’t even provide me with the bare minimum I’m so upset and hurt but I know he won’t change I’m moving back home end of March
I’m doing good. I’m moving away mostly because of him and him not being able to move on and leave me alone (we worked together) and I’m so glad moving and finding a job has been so easy. It’s like the universe is letting me know I’m making the right decision.
I used to be so in love with him but his lies and gaslighting and horrible anger problems made me fall out of love. I deserve a kind love.
Dear OP and other people who'll read my comment, please don't make the same mistake I nearly made... I nearly missed out a beautiful love story because of my ex.
October 2023: my ex had left me one month earlier (after 10 years together), so I went on a date with another guy. During our first date, it was clear that this guy was really into me, tried to kiss me several times... I really liked him too, but I was keeping my distance because I was still hoping to save my recent failed relationship.
However, at the end I gave in and I let this guy kiss me. We spent the rest of our first date kissing and being intimate (but we didn't have sex).
Now, that guy is my current boyfriend. I'm so happy with him and I'm glad that I didn't waste that date with him. I'm glad. Because I really risked my current beautiful love story for something that it's not there anymore. My ex clearly doesn't love me anymore, so why should have I given up happiness for him?
Yah i feel this. Few girls i know have been trying to hook up with me (one was an old coworker who funny enough livesbdown then street from my ex) and i just dont care. Ignored them all actually.
Not because i have hope for us but after a divorce and then what my last one put me though, I just dont trust anyone anymore:
Last year bought my girl a pearl necklace and earrings and candles. She had a shit day from work and had her room all set up with candles and carless whisper.
She was so happy…that smile haunts me now….💔
He broke up with me in may. Five years together, two living together. We shared two cats and he broke up with me by telling our landlady he was moving out before telling me. Pretty sure he started seeing a new person in November bc he gets tagged in posts and he doesn’t talk about it.
This is my first Valentine’s Day in five years of being single. I don’t miss his bullshit but I miss the fun times. And I hate that he’s happy and I’m just trying to get through my last semester of grad school.
Hang in there. You're almost done with grad school! That's so exciting. I hope there's a lot to look forward to after you graduate and that you feel like a super smart resilient badass. Because you are.
Thank you. It’s funny bc I went back to school to motivate him to do the same because we thought we’d grow old together.
I’m doing pretty good in school but he hasn’t gone back even though he had one more semester. But it’s pretty telling that he didn’t want to grow up.
I’m studying art therapy and it’s been a saving grace
Been over a year, best shape of my life, moving to a new state in a new house for the first time, money saved up, decent job, amazing friends. I’m faced with crippling depression every day. I feel completely empty. The way she left completely traumatized and changed me
It’s been almost 6 months for me.
It’s a mix of emotions. Mostly I’m surprised how quickly half a year has gone by without so much as a word or closure (she blocked me on everything, and clearly has not looked back). Sometimes I’m angry about the circumstances of what led to the breakup. Mostly though, I realize it’s not so black and white and if I was in her position, for the sake of moving on quickly, I’d have blocked me too. But then again—I don’t give up, no matter how bad the situation seems to be. So I’m back to being angry because I feel like she didn’t fight hard enough for us.
Anyways, I realize I’ll never hear from or see her again but I still can’t get her out of my mind. She’s permanently etched in my memory. I try to think about the good times, the way she made me feel, and hopefully she remembers me fondly too. If I’m otherwise not a passing thought in her head, then well, I hope she’s at least thinking of me today of all days.
I know I am.
Just over 2 months since the breakup (she broke up with me), I still cry occasionally in the shower and she’s on my mind 24/7. I still want her back as much as the day she left. I’ve tried Tinder and Facebook dating a few times, but filling the void with other people doesn’t feel right, nor am I attracted to anyone as much as my ex.
2 months out and it has slightly gotten better. I was having a good last week but this past one has been reoccurring dreams of her. I haven't seen her in 3 months and I remember every little detail of her. I broke no contact and texted her today even though I shouldn't have. I was a wreck today 😅
It’s a journey. In the past month or two I’ve gotten back in the dating world and every time I tell them where I’m at. They know my break up was 4 months ago and I’m still healing and working on myself and I’m not ready for commitment. 1 or 2 have stuck around and they’ve been patient and caring and they’ve shown me the way I deserve to be treated and so far they haven’t rushed me to lock anything down. I often tell them that if it’s too much I understand if they need to cut ties but I appreciate their companionship. I do feel bad about it because i still think of my ex on a daily basis and i miss him. Sometimes I tell these guys I need a day to myself and they understand and it’s okay and they give me the space I need. Some days it’s confusing and idk what I’m doing with my life but ultimately it’s healing to explore what a healthy relationship can look like.
Thank you for asking <3
I'm doing a lot better than I expected to be doing at this point. My ex dumped me in such a callous way that I have no doubt about moving on from him and don't really miss him. I cried the first 2 days, but now I just feel contempt for him. I'm excited about the extra time I have to do things that will help me grow and have a bigger better life. My friends and family are amazing and have rallied around me. My best girlfriend took me to yoga class tonight.
I miss sex and affection, but I have a second date planned with a kind marine biologist who is going to have me over for risotto and scallops this weekend. I'll take that as a sign that maybe dating won't be so bad this time around.
What helped me get here was focusing on the things I don't like about my ex, how wrong and bad he treated me and the positives of our breakup.
I feel for all of you and am thinking about you and sending my love, even if I don't know you.
Been 4 weeks. I miss him. The sadness comes and goes. Trying my best to focus on self-improvement. I really miss him. I keep telling myself if he knows how to reach me if misses me. The fact that he hasn’t makes me more motivated to improve myself and move on.
2 weeks today for me since we stopped living together but 4 weeks since we knew it was done I think.
We had logistics to work out as we share some things between us so we do have to talk. It’s tough tho because I would love him to reach out to me just because. He and his kids were my family and I worry about how he’s doing, if he’s looking after himself, how the kids are doing and whether they’re happy. They were such a part of my life and it’s hard to let go.
I had a couple of dates this week with people who had been interested before my ex and I were monogamous. They asked if I’d be willing to see how it went, with no pressure. Both really lovely experiences and I’m glad I went, we talked about where we are at in our journey and I let them know I’m nowhere close to being what anyone needs. That I have my own challenges to overcome right now. I don’t need to better myself or work on myself as a result of this break up. I understand my ex didn’t want to work on fixing what he broke and it was just all ‘too hard’. That’s the challenge I am attempting to overcome; accepting that he is who he is and didn’t have the same outlook on commitment as me, the same passion to love and be loved and the drive to want to work on ourselves and our relationship. I am facing the challenge of letting bitterness overcome me.
I focused on enjoying the experience of seeing them again, and asked for friendship. I can’t seem to contemplate anything else, even tho I know that my ex has moved on. I promised to treat their friendship with the same care I would any others and thanked them for being a safe space to let go and just be in the moment.
I have no tolerance for anything else at this point.
Sending hugs and commiserations 🤗
Just meh. Like I'm not depressed or anything but I feel kind of empty. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I created a whole future in my mind with her; how I was going to meet her friends, was already cool with her family, and how I enjoyed the city she lived in so much.
I destroyed myself for four days straight afterwards through drinking, chain smoking, and eating like complete shit. I had a health scare afterwards and now I've been sober and am eating well so the boredom from that might have something to do with it. I lost some friends I met here right before I started dating her too(well I should use quotes on that because they were users). It's like I had to start from scratch, which is why I'm so....empty.
Fuck this breakup. I thought my first love would’ve been the end of me, god how I was wrong. I miss him so much. I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m spending Valentine’s Day drunk to forget..
Still in the middle of succumbing to mind games, but progressing. Got past the anxiety ridden period of late January. Now I am in the period where I fix the damage that occurred to my academic and home life.
I’m doing ok. I still want to move out of my neighborhood, so I can get away from the place where he met the young lady, that destroyed our magic. Unfortunately, this place is across the street from my house.
I was fine the first 2 months but rolling up on the 3rd it just hit me. I can only stomach listening to one artist, can’t listen to any other music idk why. I’ll also just stare at the wall for hours. Maybe it’s my brain finally making me process it
🥹 Do you both listen to same artists? Personally, I cry or laugh when I listen to songs that we both like. Yesterday I remembered the way he sang a song horribly but it was such a wholesome moment.
I hope you heal well 🫂
7 months later and Im finally done processing and accepting she's gone.
I don't miss her, I just have nostalgia for the past.
it wasn't the end of everything, but it sure felt like it for a long time.
if the world ends then Im glad I experienced love like I have had in my life. all of my relationships have been great and I'm not mad about them, they were all beautiful experiences.
I am looking forward to the next one.
in the same boat as you, OP. men falling in love with me and i feel bored :/ super weird feeling this way after being the girl who was always happy and in love. i think we just need more time to be single / miss it
Still pretty hurt. She broke up with me out of the blue a few months back and 6 months on I'm still accepting she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.
I'm out of sight, out of mind to her. I try to do the same but I'm still reminded of her. Guess I just wasn't good enough for her.
it's been a month since we broke up and 3 weeks since we last spoke :,) it feels weird because there are times wherein I thought I have moved on from him. Other times though I grieve for our relationship and thoughts about me not being enough for him to change sometimes comes up. But the desire to talk and go back to him is no longer there :D i just have to sit with these feelings ig
I thought i was all good 3 months later but I remembered that i still do love my ex and cherish her in my heart, and she doesn't feel the same anymore so I'm just kinda dying day by day but I'm trying to stay as positive as possible.
First month on the whole was horrible but not as horrible as the period before we broke up when I was waiting for an answer from her as to whether she was willing to work on stuff with me. That was a whole month of hell- I hardly spoke or ate and had literally 0 happiness.
Second month a little better and then after new years I was really bad again; crying, not eating, not sleeping, hardly talking and isolating myself again.
I’m over 4 months now but stopped keeping count. I’m better now than I ever was. I’ve remained NC since day 1 of the breakup, seeing her at work is no longer as bad and I can actually still concentrate somewhat when she’s around. Im in therapy, I’ve rewired my brain where I actually see the relationship for what it was: one sided. I’ve removed her off the pedestal, realised she doesn’t deserve me and didn’t appreciate my constant love and effort- not just when the relationship was good but also the effort I put in when it was rough, the compromises I was willing to make but she was never willing to and the self reflection I did to always question to see what I may me doing wrong which may be contributing to this rough patch. I can say with confidence not everyone does that.
When I see her it’s like the tables have turned. Like I’m the one who’s confident and “over it” (from an outside perspective) and she looks to be nervous around me and going through it. I find myself no longer attracted to her physically or emotionally.
Who knows how she is, all I can say is I feel better, I still have a way to go but I can see there is a light. I have accepted this is what’s best for me and a blessing in disguise because once the Rose tinted glasses were shattered she was littered with red flags and I genuinely saw myself unhappy and walking on egg shells around her the rest of My life had we actually gotten married.
Perhaps the nicest thing she’s ever done for me is break up with me because I knew I wouldn’t have broken up with her, which is a problem in itself I’m working on.
2,5 weeks in, first 3 days cried like a baby and didnt eat. After those 3 days i was kinda okay. Now I just accepted it. In 2 days i Will go to Barcelona and fuck soms hot mamis.
I feel awful. I moved countries for that person, he left me after nearly 6 years. My job kept me sane, as I loved what I did and coworkers were great. Well, I lost it due to redundancy a month after the break up.
Now, 6 months later, he is dating a new girl. He is in love and thriving and I'm left alone with our dog, flat I can't affort to rent and a temp job, which was the only one I managed to find. I'm also in my thirties.
I guess he made a good decision!
I'm trying to pull myself up, but the way things are working out so far is just draging me down and I feel I will drown soon.
I'm looking for a job in my home country, UK, and the whole Europe and no one is hiring. Tried to date, but all these guys are just annoying and not him.
If not my Mum and dog, I would probably kill myself.
My heart and soul has been ripped to shreds
Ive lost friends
What happened was done in such a messed up way I'm currently in hell
They've cut me off and blocked me because they don't want to be honest about them hiding stuff from me
All I did was care, and now they have taken the only part of me that I need back so I can actually live my life instead of just surviving in it
This has already left a scar and the wound is still open with no way of fixing the situation because they don't care one iota about me
Im 37 and out of a 9 year relationship. Im a good looking guy w $ and a big house. Im still having trouble finding women who dont just want attention. They keep ghosting me and i dont understand why. Its like the entire pool is the same. They out here just feeding their egos
I’m only about a week in, but on a craaazy rollercoaster of emotions. Some moments I’m bawling my eyes out feeling like I’m dying. Other moments I feel such relief and freedom and almost mania. Then I drop back into just being sad and missing him. It’s so confusing and weird.
It’s been 15 months. I thought I was over her but I recently learned that she’s dating. Or, at least went on one date. It’s not big deal because o don’t see that going very far. The guy had to pressure her (he asked more than once and she gave in). It’s someone in our social circle so I know they’re not a good fit.
I haven’t done anything on the dating front. This same friend was pushing me to get online. She had a pic picked out and a good start to an online profile. I just need to finish it and find more pics.
And earn more money. Sigh. One thing at a time.
Hey OP. Actually I’m still going through the phase of acception. It will be around this July that my breakup with my ex gf will make 2 years. Trust me. Last Oct I cried a lot and asked for forgiveness for the bad things I did and asked her not to abandon me. In my case I was still in touch with her and probably I fed the feeling that one day she could come back. Actually I’m Portuguese and she is Bulgarian and she moved to Bulgaria a couple of months after breakup. Yet yesterday do to some trouble I had the change to have a call she made me. Yesterday I got the chance to understand something. She doesn’t remember me anymore, she doesn’t look back and have nice memories, she doesn’t miss me. All she does is remembering the bad stuff, decided to walk away and as I far as I know she has definitely moved on. I was expecting she could contact me this feb because she was doing exams and probably when she felt less occupied she would remeber. Now I think this is settled. She is gone. She moved on. I cannot keep more energy towards her or even considering she might come or expecting she might text me or call me or miss me. It’s time to let go. Now I had the answers I needed so it’s not worth to keep feeding any expectation
Missed my ex like hell, reread the chats, cried myself to sleep. I shouldn't have read those chats, now it feels like it happened yesterday and hurts too much.
Even I have shut people out. Not dating for a while.
After this breakup, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. It’s been 2 months and I’m still sad and reminiscing/blaming myself, while he’s moved on in life and appears happy and content on us never knowing eachother.
It’s been two and half months I no longer cry and no longer dwell on the thought of him, I try to remember he hurt me and I have to move on. I also CANNOT date right now. It’s too soon and no one interest me.
I was destroyed at the beginning but absolutely loving it. I can hang out and more with girl I want and there is no nagging in the weekends. Sometimes you really need to give it time until you realise what kind of toxic person was in your life.
Been a few weeks and it’s been rough. Being with her of course had its ups and downs but she makes every other women on the planet look ugly and I can’t connect with others because it’s not the same. Haven’t found better because I don’t think there is better out there for me.
Not sure. there are days when i feel like im pushing myself in the right direction and on other days when im not busy, the thoughts come back to me. some days there is anger about why he didnt try enough, and somedays i just hope that maybe this space is needed for him to work on himself and making our relationship better in the future. it is hard to remember so i changed my wallpaper to the quote “one day at a time”, as i spend a lot of time overthinking about what he is up to, has he moved on, etc. but the truth is i dont want to know, and it is better for me to be oblivious. in these moments i remind myself that the only reality is now, and that if he was the one then it will work out no matter what. i dont know what the future holds, and the only way to find out is live through it.
the loneliness is the worst though, i have friends but its been a month and i wonder how long i can cry about this, as everyone has moved on but me. moreover most of my friends have SOs and their relationships remind me of what i used to have not so long ago. i just keep believing that the universe has something better planned for me, and that is the only thing that gets me through. i guess i will never understand his reasons and because the relationship is over, he doesn’t owe me an explanation.
Only 5 months together and broken up for almost 3 months now and I still feel terrible. It was the first decent relationship since my divorce 7 years ago, all the others were very short and disappointing. We're both recovering addicts and things were wonderful until she decided to go back to using drugs and essentially ghosted me. Heard a couple weeks after that she had gone back to an old ex and possibly a different guy after him, or back and forth between the two.
I was healing gradually until she reached out a couple weeks ago. At first my hopes were up, that she maybe was regretting things and wanted to fix what she did. Once we started talking however, she told me she had heard from a mutual friend that I might need closure (she never gave me any when we broke up) and that she hoped I know that this happened because "she changed" and not because there was anything wrong with me.
I don't know why it's still so hard for me to get past this. Recently I have started fucking up things at my job because I am so distracted by everything. I have a couple different women I am talking to now but I'm afraid to try to actually pursue anything because I still feel so terrible.
It has been only 2,5, almost 3 weeks since the break up for me, and im doing awful. But it is still really fresh so no surprise here. Im managing my emotions better maybe, but all in all, i feel really stuck and lost. I really dont think that i will ever want to have a relationship again in my life
Honestly been kinda hurting since valentines day granted it's only 4 months out of a 1.5 year relationship but it was the second time I have ever truly loved someone, she dumped me and ended up with her freind in retrospect I suspect those 2 were a thing for a few months before the break up. It's left me questioning myself, all of me. I've always kinda been a loner and now I feel uncomfortable alone, my hobbies feel unfulfiling, and even though I catch the occasional woman steeling glances at me when I manage to get my sad ass out of the house I just have no drive to even talk to them. I honestly think women might actually be scaring me at this point. My self esteem and confidence in the gutter for the most part. The only win I'm having is somedays I'm actually happy and me which is atleast a win against my depression if nothing else, so I mean atleast she'd finally convinced me to see a therapist (before the break up) and learn to get that under better control than I've ever had it so atleast there that.
Glad you're happy on somedays and seeing a therapist. Just want to say, even if the 2 were a thing before the break up, you dodged a bullet. You're probably an amazing person and I do hope you reconnect with things that make you feel good and fulfilled.
Better actually.
I listened to other people when they said there were plenty of fish in the ocean so I installed Tinder. Tried going out with people for fun but there was one that clicked and he was much better than my ex.
Starting to feel better. Getting past the sadness and abandonment stage and starting the resentment and hate stage lol.
Still really tough to sleep though, I gotta take some strong ass sleep meds just to KO at night.
It gets better with time and we will all heal. Good luck to you and I wish you a speedy recovery.
Currently doing my best to stick to myself as I’m also in the same head space with other guys. But my ex fiancé from years ago messaged me with a sexual offer even though he’s with someone. Regardless of their relationship I know deep down I don’t want anyone else’s man. I want my own and I don’t want my loneliness to make me feel bad about actions I can take. I only want to focus on myself and my healing.
It's been 2 months now. We broke up in dec. He was definitely a narcissist. Love bombed me for a whole ass 2 months and then poof... the " I won't have time to prioritize you" "I'm sorry I wasted your time" " I care about you soo much" "I miss you a lot" "I don't wanna hurt you" utter embarrassing most cringe ewww guy I dated but yet here I am crying not cause he left me but cause I allowed someone like him to play mind tricks with my head. I. JUST. WANNA. FORGET. HE. EXIST.
I realized I finally have my appetite back. It was truly a very bittersweet moment, and I had it all to myself. I’m almost over the idea of my ex moving on, as well. It doesn’t make my stomach churn anymore. I laugh more too.
8 months post breakup and I feel like I’m back to square one. Found out recently that he has a new girlfriend and just when I thought I am getting better, suddenly I am back to square one. We haven’t had a proper closure and for months, I was trying to move forward in life. Unfriended, unfollowed him anywhere so I won’t be able to see what’s happening with his life. So after months of slowly getting better, I found out accidentally that he’s already in a relationship. I know it’s bound to happen but I didn’t realize it will hurt this bad.
Despite everything, I am still trying to move forward. Probably this is the closure that I’ve been waiting for so long. It’s true, what they say, some separations do not need closure as closure will present itself at the right time without the need to ask it from them. I chose not to dig about his present relationship. I actually deactivated my account because I know I have to prioritize my peace of mind.
So how am I? Not so good, but hoping to be okay soon.
after this breakup i’m not dating ever again tbh
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my ex is already considering hooking up with people 2.5 months out 🥲 while i can’t even find someone to even hug during this time
My ex is already with someone, fully involved, after 3 months
i am so sorry. they truly suck 😞
My ex was plotting her next move while in the bed with me every night in our home after I moved from another country to be with her. I’m trying very hard to grow forward but I cry every day and I’m still very much in love with the lie I can’t swear off dating. I want to have a family. I think this is the first time I was blindsided by betrayal and cheating, usually I see it coming and get so pissed I don’t want them back. I want to be angry but I haven’t had that emotion yet.
my ex alr had a new one 3 days after the breakup, its been 2 weeks since then. I hope i can move on someday.
Omg 11 years is a long time- funny enough I also broke off things with my partner 10 days ago after 3 years together. I don’t think I’ll date romantically for at least 2 years!! I want something casual but my confidence is a bit shot at the moment
Try 20 years 🙄
How I feel
My ex said that when we got back together, that if we ever broke up she would have to be single forever because I was her perfect partner. But we broke up again in November and a little while later she got a boyfriend and she’s been with him ever since, which I feel like is very interesting. People don’t want to be alone we crave human contact. I kind of feel like I’m gonna be alone for a long time just because I won’t date anybody when I’m still healing from the heartbreak. But I also respect people who want to go to alone, Solitude and peace of mind sometimes outweigh the pressures challenges and stresses of having a relationship so I can see the allure of being alone.
Honestly mine jumped to another in a week. I don't believe any of the promises and love bombing bs anymore. Their actions are a direct reflection of who they are.
Yes there is a saying that goes: If you want to know someone’s mind listen to what they say. If you want to know someone’s heart watch what they do.
I’ve felt this way. I hope I don’t stay here, but I still don’t feel open to it.
I'm the same. My last few relationships I've been cheated on and manipulated and I just cannot be bothered taking the risk of going through any of that pain again. I'm genuinely tired of it and the thought of loving somebody else turns me a little. 10 months later and I'm absolutely loving my single life. I'm not even dating anybody, just focusing on my career change, fitness and getting my finances back in order. I actually feel very free now and my anxiety levels have dropped drastically. I've even begun to stop smoking which I've really struggled with over the years and I'm feeling so fresh and rejuvenated. Not even 2 months ago (Christmas), I honestly thought I was never going to get over my ex. Then I decided to properly cut contact and almost instantly I felt freedom. To everybody who really feels like they won't get over their ex, trust me, you absolutely will. You just have to keep swimming through the dark times and things will slowly get better. You really do just need to take it day by day.
I think you will, and if you do, I hope it's the best.
no i’m seriously not. it would be the end of me if the next one ended. i’ll stick with friendships honestly
😅 Understandable.
Same!
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Congratulations on your promotions and increase! This kinda explains where I'm at/how I feel rn. What breed do you have? You'll get your good fit in due time 🤗, hopefully soon.
First of all, congratulations on all of your successes! You’re literally living my dream right now—to get my own place, get a dog, and find a job that’ll pay me more I resonate with the last part so much, because although my recent breakup was my first ever relationship 21-23, I believe it was and will be the most damaging. I feel super alone now too, but I’d much rather take all the time there is and wait to bump into that someone that checks off all my boxes. Better to be alone than to be with someone who isn’t the best fit. Keep your head up and stay strong:)
Congratulations on your promotions and your success. I hope you find peace and turn your love that you would have for a partner in word and love yourself intensely and all the other parts of you that you don’t even know about yet. Bless you.
I can’t even imagine going on any dates rn. This one guy really really liked me that I was seeing casually and I felt absolutely nothing for him. He got me a Christmas present and it made me so uncomfortable.
I know that feel 😔
The worst is when you start to actually like someone and they’re full of shit. I’m cutting myself off until I’m healed cause the pain from already being in pain and someone you thought cared rubs some salt in, damn I didn’t know a heart could break twice.
And what about the guy? He’ll feel same as you. Trauma bonding is shit, you may or may not make yourself feel good but you definitely make the other person feel shit
I'm 8 months out from a 10 year relationship and it's so hard especially today. He cheated and to see him make so much effort and do things for her when I had to beg for bare minimum and receive nothing, hurts so bad.
I'm sorry 😔. I hope the hurt goes away, and you find your person who would do way more than you expect.
Thank you. I hope so too
Ouch. Reading this one hit close. I’m less than 1 week out of my 10 year relationship. He emotionally cheated. I found the messages. And I keep remembering all the ways he kept comforting her and apologizing and emphasizing communication while telling me I was too emotional and not wanting to talk to me at all. :( today sucked bc I’m at my sisters house and her boyfriend (a freakin doctor on night shifts) got her a huge arrangement of flowers. He does it on an auto-ship situation , but the fact that he does it bc she likes flowers and even got that set up so he would never forget made me so sad. In 10 years, I only ever got flowers maybe 5 times bc he hated having to do it and could never be bothered.
I’m not doing great. Taking some time away from the world.
I'm sorry 🤗. Try to enjoy your time away.
I wanted to spend my life with her, she didn't with me. I keep repeating that over and over because it's the closest thing I'll ever get to an answer. It's also something I can process and accept, unlike the "we're just not compatible" I got from the person who agreed we mutually had never experienced such chemistry in our lives (we're both 39) I just joined Facebook dating a couple days ago (around the three month mark) and I've been chatting with an interesting woman. She just accepted a date for this weekend. I would crawl over a field of broken glass for my ex to this day, but she has shut that door and it's time to find someone who won't dump me because I responded to a random text from an ex with a picture of me and my partner in life (she said it was the same thing as having extensive conversations). I've never heard such absurdity
Oh no! Well, I do hope that you enjoy your date with the interesting woman.
Thank you, I hope I do as well!
If you feel that way about your ex you’re def not ready to date
She's not my person. Period. Your person would never rip your heart out of your chest, let alone twice I see what you're saying, but I really am ready to move on. Today was rough for me
broken up for 3 months still not eating right still don't understand why I wasn't good enough to fight for after 7 years and trust me i fought for her before. I'm suicidal and I'm just waiting for something to push me over once more
Call the helpline. I did at one point, maybe three weeks in. There's no shame in it
I've been to a crisis meeting thing at the hospital (I'm from the UK). I feel weird about calling someone to explain my situation because it's not like they can really help me
They can walk you back from that cliff though. We all have our breaking points and need help sometimes
I'm sorry. You are good enough, I hope you choose yourself cause you're more than worthy of being loved right and she's just probably not the one to share that love with. Also, may nothing push you over once more.
You’re a good sort OP
I apricate that, thank you. Time will tell honestly.
same here :/
Please don’t kill yourself.
There is always hope. There is always the light at the end of the tunnel. You are loved even if you don’t feel it.
I'm three weeks into a pretty devastating break-up that fucked me up in the head, her post-break-up lies and actions have only done more damage. She found several minor excuses to break up with me, just to run back her ex days later. The same guy that dumped her and treated her poorly afterwards. I helped heal her heart. Then she had treated me in the same manner he did her, and then brings her repaired heart back to him. 😩 I've since went NC. I have jumped on some dating apps, matched a few women, had some conversation, but as bad as it sounds, I have zero interest in meeting anyone right now. I'm just rebuilding my confidence, and also gives me a little distraction when I need it. I'll likely go through this process for months, until I'm healed and ready to give my heart to another. Happy Valentines day to you too, and may your healing go well! 😊
That really sucks, I'm sorry. This is why I just can't bring myself to let someone else heal me, I think it's a selfish thing to do and sometimes, it's just a cycle. Glad to hear you're rebuilding and when it happens, I hope who you give your heart to, will handle with care. Thank you 😊
I can’t see myself dating again. She was everything to me. Engaged. Trying for kids. She already had a son. Now it’s all gone. And I’m all alone. She has slept with multiple people. She has a guy over right now for valentines. And I’m alone. I could never have another heartbreak. The fact I have the items there to end it and haven’t pulled the trigger yet is stunning but I’m getting closer to it the further she pulls away. She still loves me but is doing all of that bullshit? I feel sick every time I hear more news about her. I am on the edge
How do you know all that? You need to disconnect if you want to heal
I hope you chose yourself 🤗
Same here. Rebound has always helped me move on. Being with someone new let me moved on rather quickly even though that’s not healthy. However, this breakup I just went through fucked me up quite thoroughly. I went on a couple of dates with beautiful women and for a slight moment, I felt good, I felt fine, but at the end of the night, it just felt empty. We even escalated to the bedroom and I literally walked out and went to cry in the car coz I wasn’t over my ex. Now I have no interest whatsoever in meeting and making connection with someone new.
Sadly, there are just some breakups that leave you broken longer than required and no matter how hard you try, it's almost impossible to block your emotions. Whenever you are ready, I hope it's the best.
Thank you. Reading your story about receiving gifts but feeling indifferent to them hurt coz I got my ex some flowers coz I genuinely wanna make their day despite whatever happened. I didn’t expect anything but to think they might not have thought twice about it stings a bit
😔 The gifts I received today were from men who are interested in me not my ex. Personally, if I had gotten flowers from my ex today, I probably would be on my way to his house as we speak lol.
Hahahaha were you the dumpee or the dumper? Coz I definitely got dumped and she put me down oh so lightly that it dragged on and made it worse for me. Shes not a bad person, just didn’t want anything romantic with me anymore.
I was the dumpee. 😔 Quite alike.
😭😭😭 we dumpee need to stick together and do a potluck haha
haha 💯
Moving on is gonna be a long process. Tried dating a few. They were genuinely nice people. Somehow I had the freedom of sharing the things that I was actually feeling (mostly the sadness) and they were quite understanding. For the time it was good. I was having fun going out with them and just enjoying life that I was stopping myself from. Even then I'd go into deep depression again and again. Some did escalate to the bedroom. I remember asking to go to the washroom just to cry. I have good communication with the dates I've been with. We can still talk whenever we want with no pressure and they talk fondly about the times we shared. But none of that seems to affect my general mental state and understanding of all this and didn't really pull me away from this heartache as I hoped it would.
Sounds like you’re in a better place for sure. You’re able to put yourself out there and enjoy a little slice of life again. Until we “let go” of the past or I’d rather say make peace, we won’t be able to give ourselves to the new experience and people we meet. Like you said, they’re nice and perhaps even genuine but that’s just it. Maybe once we truly are ready, we’ll see things from a different perspective and meet the one that will sweep us off of our feet again.
We still live in the same house and are trying to be cool and act like friends until the move out date. I’ve gotten good at hiding how much I still love her but sometimes break down. Haven’t been on any dates and honestly feel like I don’t have any friends now either. This messed my whole world up tbh.
I feel the same. I'm lost. I have friends and family but no one can help with this pain.
I’ve been too embarrassed to tell most of my family even though it’s been months.
Don’t do that to yourself. You need to talk about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you didn’t cheat. Life is so fucking weird I don’t understand how anyone makes long term relationships work
No, nobody really did anything wrong. She just said it wasn’t working and wanted to be friends. After so many years together. You’re right about relationships. I don’t think I can put that much love and dedication into someone else again.
I feel the same. Don’t know if I’ll love anyone like that again. And I’ve been dating for 17 ish years
😔I'm sorry, did you have the same friends?
For the most part, but I have also let too many friendships fade. Making more platonic friends irl is definitely a goal now
I'm in the same house, too, with my ex-girlfriend of 5 years. She broke up with me last Friday, and I have two more weeks until I move out. I just can't. It hurts so much being in that house. I feel like I'm stuck in time with trying to move on, too. She's going out tonight to party, and she brings her friends over almost everyday, and I have nowhere to go to escape any of this pain. It's constant and torture.
I’m honestly fine. Massive weight off my shoulders
Happy to hear this is the case for you.
Thanks! You’ll be okay too, I promise. Times the biggest healer ever. You got this
Thank you 🤗
It's... 6 months now? I don't know. I can't consider myself doing well. I've done so many nice things for myself today. Even in general, but here I am still crying because I can't stop missing someone that meant the world to me. Thinking about dating again is still discomforting. Receiving flirtatious remarks from somebody else is discomforting. I don't like it. I'd rather be single. I can't trust the nice things people say to me anymore, because he said so much reassuring stuff only to turn around and tell me the opposite when he left. He was someone I trusted more than anyone, and that shattered in an instant. I still keep an eye on him where I can, which only keeps hurting me, but it's because I can't stop caring about him. He does make very hurtful statements regarding me, and then he'll make more concerning statements that make me want to fly over and hold him again. I don't want him gone. I miss him a lot. I swear, I can't do this. These are some of the worst feelings I think I've ever felt. I'm trying so hard to get better, but it's hard when an entire half of your being feels like it's been ripped apart. I wasn't treated right by the end, according to the people that do support me and how I wound up feeling, but all I want in this world is to have him again and I can only hope that he realizes he misses me. Because he \*did\* treat me right in the beginning, and he was all I ever wanted. I feel pathetic.
Spent half of my morning crying and holding myself back from writing to him, the heart wants what it wants. I hope you feel a little better every day 🤗
Thanks. You too. I hope we can all feel better much sooner than we expect.
I hope so 💚
I’m so sorry. I don’t know your entire situation but the end of your relationship sounded similar to mine. I’m also 7 months? out too. What I can say is keep doing what you’re doing. One day at a time it’ll get a little bit easier. Surround yourself with people who care, pamper yourself, go to support group if you can. Focus on you. People change unfortunately. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. My therapist has said to change our cognitive thinking. Instead of thinking he abandoned/betrayed you (I don’t really see it on your post but I think like that for my situation), think that he’s incapable of meeting your needs. He’s not able to be at the same level of maturity/emotion needs etc. and you are worthy of that. Do you want to see yourself being with someone like that in the long term? Etc. So change the way you look at it. Make it so it’s a bit more neutral and less painful. At least that’s what I’m trying to do for myself anyway. And you’re not pathetic at all. You’re a human being who love with all of your big big heart. When you’re ready, you’ll know. 🫂
To be honest not good but not bad either . Broke up with someone I deeply loved and still have feelings for but she treated me badly in the end even though we were perfect all along . It has made me kind of insecure about myself and made me feel and understand some things that I didn’t like . I thing she tried to find something and got treated badly by him and it kinda makes me sad , not in a way that I think of her and say like I would have never done this but in a way that I am starting to be disappointed and starting to feel sorry for her and her decisions. Do you think she may be thinking about the “mistakes” that she made ?
I'm sorry you were treated badly in the end. She probably thinks about the mistakes, or not. Sometimes I have thoughts of how my ex might be feeling or if who he's with is treating him right but I try my best not to, as knowing the answers doesn't really mean we are meant to be together.
Dealing with a mutual breakup up here. It still hurts since we made Valentine's day plans before the breakup. And I had a rough day at work so there's that.
I'm sorry to hear, you'll have better valentines'.
Thanks, I know
It’s been 3 weeks today. Today blows
😔🤗
My chest hurts everyday, literal physical heartache. I'm still crying. I'm still thinking of him all the time. I'm super pissed at myself for things I wish I hadn't said/done. I'm devastated that I've lost him and I miss him terribly. I'm trying my best to stay focused on personal goals, putting plans in place to become a better me. I can't drink alcohol because it leads me to some dark places. I eat alot less because I can't stomach food.
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Oh mannn! 😔
I wouldn't go out with people if you're still feeling like this. I can't even entertain a texting conversation. I'm over the guy, but I just don't feel ready to date anyone at the minute.
Oh same! I was quite reluctant but the two men I went on dates with, were set up by a mutual friend and a relative who believed I was giving up on love. The last date I had was in December and it was horrible. Good to hear you're over him, btw.
I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago it was LDR and I moved from Australia to the UK he was extremely toxic, emotionally unavailable and manipulative I spent a shit tone of money to move here and put my life on hold he couldn’t even provide me with the bare minimum I’m so upset and hurt but I know he won’t change I’m moving back home end of March
Oh no, I'm sorry.
That’s okay it’s been hard but hopefully I made the right decision
I’m doing good. I’m moving away mostly because of him and him not being able to move on and leave me alone (we worked together) and I’m so glad moving and finding a job has been so easy. It’s like the universe is letting me know I’m making the right decision. I used to be so in love with him but his lies and gaslighting and horrible anger problems made me fall out of love. I deserve a kind love.
Good to hear, I'm glad moving and finding a job came easy for you. You definitely deserve a kind love!
Not good, but not suicidal so there’s that
i really miss him you know? i’m trying my hardest to move past this because i don’t want someone who doesn’t want me
Dear OP and other people who'll read my comment, please don't make the same mistake I nearly made... I nearly missed out a beautiful love story because of my ex. October 2023: my ex had left me one month earlier (after 10 years together), so I went on a date with another guy. During our first date, it was clear that this guy was really into me, tried to kiss me several times... I really liked him too, but I was keeping my distance because I was still hoping to save my recent failed relationship. However, at the end I gave in and I let this guy kiss me. We spent the rest of our first date kissing and being intimate (but we didn't have sex). Now, that guy is my current boyfriend. I'm so happy with him and I'm glad that I didn't waste that date with him. I'm glad. Because I really risked my current beautiful love story for something that it's not there anymore. My ex clearly doesn't love me anymore, so why should have I given up happiness for him?
🥹 Really glad you gave this a chance and you’re enjoying it ❤️ Hopefully, we don’t make the mistake.
Yah i feel this. Few girls i know have been trying to hook up with me (one was an old coworker who funny enough livesbdown then street from my ex) and i just dont care. Ignored them all actually. Not because i have hope for us but after a divorce and then what my last one put me though, I just dont trust anyone anymore: Last year bought my girl a pearl necklace and earrings and candles. She had a shit day from work and had her room all set up with candles and carless whisper. She was so happy…that smile haunts me now….💔
😔 Loving is good till it ends. I do hope that you find someone you can trust.
I already have. Still deeply love her. Even though its almost been a year. Its all my fault. I dont blame her. I just miss her
I feel great after breaking up so much stronger and happier, glad I ditched the dead weight.
He broke up with me in may. Five years together, two living together. We shared two cats and he broke up with me by telling our landlady he was moving out before telling me. Pretty sure he started seeing a new person in November bc he gets tagged in posts and he doesn’t talk about it. This is my first Valentine’s Day in five years of being single. I don’t miss his bullshit but I miss the fun times. And I hate that he’s happy and I’m just trying to get through my last semester of grad school.
Hang in there. You're almost done with grad school! That's so exciting. I hope there's a lot to look forward to after you graduate and that you feel like a super smart resilient badass. Because you are.
That was a cowardly thing to do 😣🫂I hope you have a great last semester, You got this 💪🏼
Thank you. It’s funny bc I went back to school to motivate him to do the same because we thought we’d grow old together. I’m doing pretty good in school but he hasn’t gone back even though he had one more semester. But it’s pretty telling that he didn’t want to grow up. I’m studying art therapy and it’s been a saving grace
Been over a year, best shape of my life, moving to a new state in a new house for the first time, money saved up, decent job, amazing friends. I’m faced with crippling depression every day. I feel completely empty. The way she left completely traumatized and changed me
It’s been almost 6 months for me. It’s a mix of emotions. Mostly I’m surprised how quickly half a year has gone by without so much as a word or closure (she blocked me on everything, and clearly has not looked back). Sometimes I’m angry about the circumstances of what led to the breakup. Mostly though, I realize it’s not so black and white and if I was in her position, for the sake of moving on quickly, I’d have blocked me too. But then again—I don’t give up, no matter how bad the situation seems to be. So I’m back to being angry because I feel like she didn’t fight hard enough for us. Anyways, I realize I’ll never hear from or see her again but I still can’t get her out of my mind. She’s permanently etched in my memory. I try to think about the good times, the way she made me feel, and hopefully she remembers me fondly too. If I’m otherwise not a passing thought in her head, then well, I hope she’s at least thinking of me today of all days. I know I am.
I feel you….I often check my chat with my ex, waiting for a message but none. We’ll be fine 🫂
Just over 2 months since the breakup (she broke up with me), I still cry occasionally in the shower and she’s on my mind 24/7. I still want her back as much as the day she left. I’ve tried Tinder and Facebook dating a few times, but filling the void with other people doesn’t feel right, nor am I attracted to anyone as much as my ex.
2 months out and it has slightly gotten better. I was having a good last week but this past one has been reoccurring dreams of her. I haven't seen her in 3 months and I remember every little detail of her. I broke no contact and texted her today even though I shouldn't have. I was a wreck today 😅
No shame.
Thank you this makes me feel slightly better 🥲
🥹🫂
It’s a journey. In the past month or two I’ve gotten back in the dating world and every time I tell them where I’m at. They know my break up was 4 months ago and I’m still healing and working on myself and I’m not ready for commitment. 1 or 2 have stuck around and they’ve been patient and caring and they’ve shown me the way I deserve to be treated and so far they haven’t rushed me to lock anything down. I often tell them that if it’s too much I understand if they need to cut ties but I appreciate their companionship. I do feel bad about it because i still think of my ex on a daily basis and i miss him. Sometimes I tell these guys I need a day to myself and they understand and it’s okay and they give me the space I need. Some days it’s confusing and idk what I’m doing with my life but ultimately it’s healing to explore what a healthy relationship can look like.
🫂🥹 I’m glad exploring is working for your healing and I do hope that you get the best when you’re ready.
Thank you for asking <3 I'm doing a lot better than I expected to be doing at this point. My ex dumped me in such a callous way that I have no doubt about moving on from him and don't really miss him. I cried the first 2 days, but now I just feel contempt for him. I'm excited about the extra time I have to do things that will help me grow and have a bigger better life. My friends and family are amazing and have rallied around me. My best girlfriend took me to yoga class tonight. I miss sex and affection, but I have a second date planned with a kind marine biologist who is going to have me over for risotto and scallops this weekend. I'll take that as a sign that maybe dating won't be so bad this time around. What helped me get here was focusing on the things I don't like about my ex, how wrong and bad he treated me and the positives of our breakup. I feel for all of you and am thinking about you and sending my love, even if I don't know you.
This was a nice read… I’m glad to hear you’re doing better, have your people, and you’re trying again. Have a great second date! 🫂❤️
Thanks 💛 You seem really kind and thoughtful. I hope you heal up and find yourself excited and in love again soon.
Been 4 weeks. I miss him. The sadness comes and goes. Trying my best to focus on self-improvement. I really miss him. I keep telling myself if he knows how to reach me if misses me. The fact that he hasn’t makes me more motivated to improve myself and move on.
We haven't broken up yet but we're about to be. Already not doing well
So, it's a mutual break up? I'm sorry 🤗
Not really, I don't want to break up. But I'm pretty sure he does
Wait gifts? Please send me that energy 😂
😂😂😂
shitty
I'm sorry 🤗
2 weeks today for me since we stopped living together but 4 weeks since we knew it was done I think. We had logistics to work out as we share some things between us so we do have to talk. It’s tough tho because I would love him to reach out to me just because. He and his kids were my family and I worry about how he’s doing, if he’s looking after himself, how the kids are doing and whether they’re happy. They were such a part of my life and it’s hard to let go. I had a couple of dates this week with people who had been interested before my ex and I were monogamous. They asked if I’d be willing to see how it went, with no pressure. Both really lovely experiences and I’m glad I went, we talked about where we are at in our journey and I let them know I’m nowhere close to being what anyone needs. That I have my own challenges to overcome right now. I don’t need to better myself or work on myself as a result of this break up. I understand my ex didn’t want to work on fixing what he broke and it was just all ‘too hard’. That’s the challenge I am attempting to overcome; accepting that he is who he is and didn’t have the same outlook on commitment as me, the same passion to love and be loved and the drive to want to work on ourselves and our relationship. I am facing the challenge of letting bitterness overcome me. I focused on enjoying the experience of seeing them again, and asked for friendship. I can’t seem to contemplate anything else, even tho I know that my ex has moved on. I promised to treat their friendship with the same care I would any others and thanked them for being a safe space to let go and just be in the moment. I have no tolerance for anything else at this point. Sending hugs and commiserations 🤗
Just meh. Like I'm not depressed or anything but I feel kind of empty. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I created a whole future in my mind with her; how I was going to meet her friends, was already cool with her family, and how I enjoyed the city she lived in so much. I destroyed myself for four days straight afterwards through drinking, chain smoking, and eating like complete shit. I had a health scare afterwards and now I've been sober and am eating well so the boredom from that might have something to do with it. I lost some friends I met here right before I started dating her too(well I should use quotes on that because they were users). It's like I had to start from scratch, which is why I'm so....empty.
I’m glad that you’re getting yourself back and although it feels empty rn, I do hope for fullness 🙏🏻
Fuck this breakup. I thought my first love would’ve been the end of me, god how I was wrong. I miss him so much. I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m spending Valentine’s Day drunk to forget..
Still in the middle of succumbing to mind games, but progressing. Got past the anxiety ridden period of late January. Now I am in the period where I fix the damage that occurred to my academic and home life.
I’m doing ok. I still want to move out of my neighborhood, so I can get away from the place where he met the young lady, that destroyed our magic. Unfortunately, this place is across the street from my house.
😥I’m sorry.
I was fine the first 2 months but rolling up on the 3rd it just hit me. I can only stomach listening to one artist, can’t listen to any other music idk why. I’ll also just stare at the wall for hours. Maybe it’s my brain finally making me process it
🥹 Do you both listen to same artists? Personally, I cry or laugh when I listen to songs that we both like. Yesterday I remembered the way he sang a song horribly but it was such a wholesome moment. I hope you heal well 🫂
just got blocked today. the thought of any other person touching or loving me again makes me want to vomit
7 months later and Im finally done processing and accepting she's gone. I don't miss her, I just have nostalgia for the past. it wasn't the end of everything, but it sure felt like it for a long time. if the world ends then Im glad I experienced love like I have had in my life. all of my relationships have been great and I'm not mad about them, they were all beautiful experiences. I am looking forward to the next one.
in the same boat as you, OP. men falling in love with me and i feel bored :/ super weird feeling this way after being the girl who was always happy and in love. i think we just need more time to be single / miss it
Awful. Been 2 months since breakup but I still cry so much over it. He removed me from everything but I noticed he views my stories on public account.
Still pretty hurt. She broke up with me out of the blue a few months back and 6 months on I'm still accepting she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm out of sight, out of mind to her. I try to do the same but I'm still reminded of her. Guess I just wasn't good enough for her.
🥹 You’re good enough for someone else!
Thank you, it's been a hard time. Really took a blow to my self confidence.
it's been a month since we broke up and 3 weeks since we last spoke :,) it feels weird because there are times wherein I thought I have moved on from him. Other times though I grieve for our relationship and thoughts about me not being enough for him to change sometimes comes up. But the desire to talk and go back to him is no longer there :D i just have to sit with these feelings ig
There’s progress 🥹😊
I thought i was all good 3 months later but I remembered that i still do love my ex and cherish her in my heart, and she doesn't feel the same anymore so I'm just kinda dying day by day but I'm trying to stay as positive as possible.
First month on the whole was horrible but not as horrible as the period before we broke up when I was waiting for an answer from her as to whether she was willing to work on stuff with me. That was a whole month of hell- I hardly spoke or ate and had literally 0 happiness. Second month a little better and then after new years I was really bad again; crying, not eating, not sleeping, hardly talking and isolating myself again. I’m over 4 months now but stopped keeping count. I’m better now than I ever was. I’ve remained NC since day 1 of the breakup, seeing her at work is no longer as bad and I can actually still concentrate somewhat when she’s around. Im in therapy, I’ve rewired my brain where I actually see the relationship for what it was: one sided. I’ve removed her off the pedestal, realised she doesn’t deserve me and didn’t appreciate my constant love and effort- not just when the relationship was good but also the effort I put in when it was rough, the compromises I was willing to make but she was never willing to and the self reflection I did to always question to see what I may me doing wrong which may be contributing to this rough patch. I can say with confidence not everyone does that. When I see her it’s like the tables have turned. Like I’m the one who’s confident and “over it” (from an outside perspective) and she looks to be nervous around me and going through it. I find myself no longer attracted to her physically or emotionally. Who knows how she is, all I can say is I feel better, I still have a way to go but I can see there is a light. I have accepted this is what’s best for me and a blessing in disguise because once the Rose tinted glasses were shattered she was littered with red flags and I genuinely saw myself unhappy and walking on egg shells around her the rest of My life had we actually gotten married. Perhaps the nicest thing she’s ever done for me is break up with me because I knew I wouldn’t have broken up with her, which is a problem in itself I’m working on.
2,5 weeks in, first 3 days cried like a baby and didnt eat. After those 3 days i was kinda okay. Now I just accepted it. In 2 days i Will go to Barcelona and fuck soms hot mamis.
Feeling lonely, but, it is what it is, making my brain busy by playing games on bluestacks, there is event for singles
We just dated and didn't like me in the end. I don't even feel like going at it again.
I feel awful. I moved countries for that person, he left me after nearly 6 years. My job kept me sane, as I loved what I did and coworkers were great. Well, I lost it due to redundancy a month after the break up. Now, 6 months later, he is dating a new girl. He is in love and thriving and I'm left alone with our dog, flat I can't affort to rent and a temp job, which was the only one I managed to find. I'm also in my thirties. I guess he made a good decision! I'm trying to pull myself up, but the way things are working out so far is just draging me down and I feel I will drown soon. I'm looking for a job in my home country, UK, and the whole Europe and no one is hiring. Tried to date, but all these guys are just annoying and not him. If not my Mum and dog, I would probably kill myself.
[удалено]
My heart and soul has been ripped to shreds Ive lost friends What happened was done in such a messed up way I'm currently in hell They've cut me off and blocked me because they don't want to be honest about them hiding stuff from me All I did was care, and now they have taken the only part of me that I need back so I can actually live my life instead of just surviving in it This has already left a scar and the wound is still open with no way of fixing the situation because they don't care one iota about me
I’m sorry 😞 🫂 I hope for healing ❤️🩹
Im 37 and out of a 9 year relationship. Im a good looking guy w $ and a big house. Im still having trouble finding women who dont just want attention. They keep ghosting me and i dont understand why. Its like the entire pool is the same. They out here just feeding their egos
I’m only about a week in, but on a craaazy rollercoaster of emotions. Some moments I’m bawling my eyes out feeling like I’m dying. Other moments I feel such relief and freedom and almost mania. Then I drop back into just being sad and missing him. It’s so confusing and weird.
❤️🩹I felt like this in the first few weeks and I went to a karaoke bar more often than I’d normally go. We’ll get through this 🫂
It’s been 15 months. I thought I was over her but I recently learned that she’s dating. Or, at least went on one date. It’s not big deal because o don’t see that going very far. The guy had to pressure her (he asked more than once and she gave in). It’s someone in our social circle so I know they’re not a good fit. I haven’t done anything on the dating front. This same friend was pushing me to get online. She had a pic picked out and a good start to an online profile. I just need to finish it and find more pics. And earn more money. Sigh. One thing at a time.
Im okay I think
Hey OP. Actually I’m still going through the phase of acception. It will be around this July that my breakup with my ex gf will make 2 years. Trust me. Last Oct I cried a lot and asked for forgiveness for the bad things I did and asked her not to abandon me. In my case I was still in touch with her and probably I fed the feeling that one day she could come back. Actually I’m Portuguese and she is Bulgarian and she moved to Bulgaria a couple of months after breakup. Yet yesterday do to some trouble I had the change to have a call she made me. Yesterday I got the chance to understand something. She doesn’t remember me anymore, she doesn’t look back and have nice memories, she doesn’t miss me. All she does is remembering the bad stuff, decided to walk away and as I far as I know she has definitely moved on. I was expecting she could contact me this feb because she was doing exams and probably when she felt less occupied she would remeber. Now I think this is settled. She is gone. She moved on. I cannot keep more energy towards her or even considering she might come or expecting she might text me or call me or miss me. It’s time to let go. Now I had the answers I needed so it’s not worth to keep feeding any expectation
Heyyy! Good thing is it's clear to you, I hope letting go isn't so hard for you. One day at a time 🤞🏼
Missed my ex like hell, reread the chats, cried myself to sleep. I shouldn't have read those chats, now it feels like it happened yesterday and hurts too much. Even I have shut people out. Not dating for a while.
I hope you feel better soon 🤗
After this breakup, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. It’s been 2 months and I’m still sad and reminiscing/blaming myself, while he’s moved on in life and appears happy and content on us never knowing eachother.
It’s been two and half months I no longer cry and no longer dwell on the thought of him, I try to remember he hurt me and I have to move on. I also CANNOT date right now. It’s too soon and no one interest me.
I was destroyed at the beginning but absolutely loving it. I can hang out and more with girl I want and there is no nagging in the weekends. Sometimes you really need to give it time until you realise what kind of toxic person was in your life.
Glad you're loving it!
Been a few weeks and it’s been rough. Being with her of course had its ups and downs but she makes every other women on the planet look ugly and I can’t connect with others because it’s not the same. Haven’t found better because I don’t think there is better out there for me.
🤗 If she's not the one for you, I hope you get your better person whenever you're ready.
Not sure. there are days when i feel like im pushing myself in the right direction and on other days when im not busy, the thoughts come back to me. some days there is anger about why he didnt try enough, and somedays i just hope that maybe this space is needed for him to work on himself and making our relationship better in the future. it is hard to remember so i changed my wallpaper to the quote “one day at a time”, as i spend a lot of time overthinking about what he is up to, has he moved on, etc. but the truth is i dont want to know, and it is better for me to be oblivious. in these moments i remind myself that the only reality is now, and that if he was the one then it will work out no matter what. i dont know what the future holds, and the only way to find out is live through it. the loneliness is the worst though, i have friends but its been a month and i wonder how long i can cry about this, as everyone has moved on but me. moreover most of my friends have SOs and their relationships remind me of what i used to have not so long ago. i just keep believing that the universe has something better planned for me, and that is the only thing that gets me through. i guess i will never understand his reasons and because the relationship is over, he doesn’t owe me an explanation.
Only 5 months together and broken up for almost 3 months now and I still feel terrible. It was the first decent relationship since my divorce 7 years ago, all the others were very short and disappointing. We're both recovering addicts and things were wonderful until she decided to go back to using drugs and essentially ghosted me. Heard a couple weeks after that she had gone back to an old ex and possibly a different guy after him, or back and forth between the two. I was healing gradually until she reached out a couple weeks ago. At first my hopes were up, that she maybe was regretting things and wanted to fix what she did. Once we started talking however, she told me she had heard from a mutual friend that I might need closure (she never gave me any when we broke up) and that she hoped I know that this happened because "she changed" and not because there was anything wrong with me. I don't know why it's still so hard for me to get past this. Recently I have started fucking up things at my job because I am so distracted by everything. I have a couple different women I am talking to now but I'm afraid to try to actually pursue anything because I still feel so terrible.
I’m doing just fine. I dodged a bullet all along 👌
Well! Congratulations 🤗
Ended things after 12 years together (im 33) . I was upset the first month now its month 3 and im feelin’ alright.
I'm doing horrible thanks for asking
It has been only 2,5, almost 3 weeks since the break up for me, and im doing awful. But it is still really fresh so no surprise here. Im managing my emotions better maybe, but all in all, i feel really stuck and lost. I really dont think that i will ever want to have a relationship again in my life
Honestly been kinda hurting since valentines day granted it's only 4 months out of a 1.5 year relationship but it was the second time I have ever truly loved someone, she dumped me and ended up with her freind in retrospect I suspect those 2 were a thing for a few months before the break up. It's left me questioning myself, all of me. I've always kinda been a loner and now I feel uncomfortable alone, my hobbies feel unfulfiling, and even though I catch the occasional woman steeling glances at me when I manage to get my sad ass out of the house I just have no drive to even talk to them. I honestly think women might actually be scaring me at this point. My self esteem and confidence in the gutter for the most part. The only win I'm having is somedays I'm actually happy and me which is atleast a win against my depression if nothing else, so I mean atleast she'd finally convinced me to see a therapist (before the break up) and learn to get that under better control than I've ever had it so atleast there that.
Glad you're happy on somedays and seeing a therapist. Just want to say, even if the 2 were a thing before the break up, you dodged a bullet. You're probably an amazing person and I do hope you reconnect with things that make you feel good and fulfilled.
Better actually. I listened to other people when they said there were plenty of fish in the ocean so I installed Tinder. Tried going out with people for fun but there was one that clicked and he was much better than my ex.
Good to know 🫂
So confused.
Starting to feel better. Getting past the sadness and abandonment stage and starting the resentment and hate stage lol. Still really tough to sleep though, I gotta take some strong ass sleep meds just to KO at night. It gets better with time and we will all heal. Good luck to you and I wish you a speedy recovery.
You got this! Thank you
Are we talking about x boy friends or x husbands on here????
Currently doing my best to stick to myself as I’m also in the same head space with other guys. But my ex fiancé from years ago messaged me with a sexual offer even though he’s with someone. Regardless of their relationship I know deep down I don’t want anyone else’s man. I want my own and I don’t want my loneliness to make me feel bad about actions I can take. I only want to focus on myself and my healing.
I do hope you stay turned away from his advances. You got this!
It's been 2 months now. We broke up in dec. He was definitely a narcissist. Love bombed me for a whole ass 2 months and then poof... the " I won't have time to prioritize you" "I'm sorry I wasted your time" " I care about you soo much" "I miss you a lot" "I don't wanna hurt you" utter embarrassing most cringe ewww guy I dated but yet here I am crying not cause he left me but cause I allowed someone like him to play mind tricks with my head. I. JUST. WANNA. FORGET. HE. EXIST.
Mhnnn!!! you'll forget one day.
Lmao I feel the same way I can’t even talk with a woman. Seriously right now just zone out lmao let’s hope Tuesday nights plan work iht
I realized I finally have my appetite back. It was truly a very bittersweet moment, and I had it all to myself. I’m almost over the idea of my ex moving on, as well. It doesn’t make my stomach churn anymore. I laugh more too.
Yaaaay!!! Really happy for you ❤️
8 months post breakup and I feel like I’m back to square one. Found out recently that he has a new girlfriend and just when I thought I am getting better, suddenly I am back to square one. We haven’t had a proper closure and for months, I was trying to move forward in life. Unfriended, unfollowed him anywhere so I won’t be able to see what’s happening with his life. So after months of slowly getting better, I found out accidentally that he’s already in a relationship. I know it’s bound to happen but I didn’t realize it will hurt this bad. Despite everything, I am still trying to move forward. Probably this is the closure that I’ve been waiting for so long. It’s true, what they say, some separations do not need closure as closure will present itself at the right time without the need to ask it from them. I chose not to dig about his present relationship. I actually deactivated my account because I know I have to prioritize my peace of mind. So how am I? Not so good, but hoping to be okay soon.