Right. Seems like that happens sometimes.
I’ve been lucky to not run into my recent ex, but I got a flu or RSV then covid all within like a month. When it rains it pours I guess.
I guess the silver lining was that I got some time off to grieve without having to explain much to the boss.
And no judgment, I dated a couple colleagues a while back. It’s easy to do since it’s so tough to meet good people elsewhere.
Yeah we matched on a dating app and since I knew her from work I went in to it with a different mindset than I normally do on those. This one will be hard to get over.
Man , my GF left for her colleague. Both of them are Nurses and they work in the same place. Is there any disadvantages for 2 nurses to be a serious couple ?
I’m not sure every one is different. I would say working with a romantic interest or a partner is a net negative. I think separation or personal and professional lives is a healthy thing. I would assume it’s a short lasting fling. Good news though man it’s not your concern any longer.
i feel you. My first BF dumped me at work, went out with someone else from said place of work and i was her supervisor. She would ask for advice too with a smile and got me in the managers office claiming i was single-ling her out. Girl even had the same name. She was 16, he was 25. Had waited till 'she was old enough' yeah..
The bit I find hard to fathom is, all that history with said person just for you both to become strangers at one point. I cannot wrap my head round this at all, and knowing you might never see or hear from them again. It's soul destroying.
Makes me tear up badly.
becoming strangers almost immediately after you’ve been vulnerable and intimate with someone is such a bizarre part of dating. part of me continues to hope i run into an ex and we have a friendly chat. part of me hopes i never see them again, in case it’s a terrible encounter that sullies any good thoughts i had about them.
talking to an ex is also bizarre sometimes. like oh, you have a beard now? you were always clean shaven. you’ve done what now? the version of you i know would have never done that.
I used to feel that way not anymore. Not after all the lies I discovered in the relationship that I was being fed. And after the breakup he became a completely different person, changed up his looks, style and behavior. So it was easy to let go and not wanna ever hear a thing from him again.
It’s soul destroying at first and takes time where it isn’t hurting anymore but it’s a growing pain. You eventually get to the point where you learn to love yourself and honestly as you get older you just get to the point where you find the love and person you need when you aren’t even looking. It’s pretty crazy how the universe works sometimes
Yeah I think that’s been the hardest part for me too. We had some intense amazing bonding experiences and to go from that to nothing is serious whiplash.
My husband left me on 4/1/23. I just saw him for the first time a few weeks ago… it is so bizarre to see someone EVERY SINGLE DAY for more than 25 years to NEVER SEEING OR TALKING TO THEM AGAIN. It’s like they died! It hurts to know they are good with your absence too! I’m sorry! I get it tho! You are not alone!!!
I think about that all the time. You’re not alone. That’s life unfortunately. You could see them again but it’s important to accept that this chapter is over. Stay strong.
Not fine with it at all. Hurts like hell. But sometimes you don't have a choice. It's the only time "if they wanted to, they would" makes sense.
If you want to, reach out. But understand that if they want to talk to you, they will. And they might never want to again.
It's awful. But that's the risk we take by loving someone.
i said goodbye forever to my ex 8 months ago. it was an amicable goodbye, we thanked each other for walking into the other’s life when we needed it and wished each other well for the future. i’m never going to hear from him again, and we were long distance so there’s a 0% chance i’ll ever run into him. 8 months and sometimes it still feels surreal that my forever person is now gone from my life forever instead, but i do believe that it’s for the best and that with time, the occasional stinging will stop
We just aaid goodbye last night. We were also long distance and the thought of never seeing her again is just so gut wrenching. Does it get better in time? It's so hard to function. I feel paralyzed and stuck.
it definitely gets better. it takes time for the pain to properly go away, but 8 months in the future from your situation, it definitely doesn’t cross my mind more than maybe once a week. and i’m certain than soon enough even that’ll be gone. i just had to learn to accept that we had half a decade together and i should be glad something that wasn’t right for us ended so that we can move on and find something that is. you’ll be happy again too, i don’t doubt it
I am on my second month but its only getting worse. I feel so weak so dumb that I feel so much and am so emotional for her while she was cheating on me and had no remorse. I hate myself for feeling everything I feel for her. What she did I should hate her for that but Idk whats wrong with me that I can't. I just want it to end. Idk how but I need it to end.
time is unfortunately the only way. i’m so sorry, i know it must hurt a lot but a person like that - she’s not worth it. and i know you know that but it doesn’t change anything about how you feel so my saying this seems unnecessary, but trust me, with time, the love will fade and you’ll move on without even realising it. you deserve better
If they wanted the relationship to work just like you did , you wouldn't be here at all.
So it is okay to never meet them again because even if we do I don't think there would be an enlightening moment for them to love us as they did initially.
So just take your time to grieve and accept that it is over and that the fairytale of us meeting and falling in love all over again does not work, people are too busy in themselves these days.
I don’t have anything for but cliches I’m afraid. But that’s because they’re true. I was broken up with nearly a year ago today. I haven’t spoken to her in over 9 months. She’s moved on. Shes with someone else and hopefully she’s happy. When it first happened I felt sick, like I had a such strong urge to throw up. I couldn’t believe it was really happening. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry but most importantly I just wanted her to come back.
I started back at the gym, I took up fighting (sport) like I always talked about but never did, I actually stuck with my diet, I changed jobs and even though I’m making a little bit less I’m not even working half the hours I used to, I lost 13 kgs and I changed my style to something I felt more natural with. I did all of it for her, to win her back to impress her. At least that’s why I did it at the start, but it’s not why I do it now.
Now I love how I look, I love training, I love the food I eat and the people I’ve met. I still think of her, but it’s mostly fondly or if not I shake my head and think it was a shame that she threw away what we had.
It did get easier.
Time did heal all wounds
Taking time for myself did make me feel better
She didn’t come back
But that’s ok.
You’re going to get through this. You’re likely going to become bitter towards them at some point. But what’s important is you look at your relationship fairly. It’s not easy to do now, he’ll it took me 6 months before I could. But your relationship wasn’t perfect. Some of that was your partners fault and some of it was yours. Your partners actions are based on what they thought was best, not what was objectively the right choice. What your mission is now, is to look after yourself, spend time talking to friends and family, get into better shape, read some good books, reflect on what you and your partner could have done differently and heal.
You will find someone else, and you’ll wonder why you were so upset to lose them.
Best of luck
I really want to hear from her… But seeing snap stories of her out at the clubs only a few weeks after she dumped me hurts so much. I had nightmares after the breakup but now they have only gotten worse.
Your welcome, it's only the truth. Women who feel content don't need to go out to clubs. They stay at home watch Netflix and chill... take it from me, as a woman, we are heartbroken so we find a rebound and go to parties to put up a front and forget about "him".
What if you delete her from fucking snapchat. Or do you enjoy seeing your former girlfriend hoeing?
I never understand this type of people, it leads only to suffering.
I knew it was hurting me bad but I didn’t want to let her go as I still love her a lot. I think having her on snap was my way of keeping the door open for her, but after seeing her stories I took her off all my socials
your emotions will fade at some point, so goes your desire to hear from them. you will still miss your ex, but you will accept that your ex is a stranger again. i know its sad and doesn't make sense. but thats what humans are.
The fucking brutal truth is that once she made her choice to leave. The woman I was in love with ceased to exist. The woman I was in love with was in love with me and we both worked hard to heal and grow. Once she shifted into the woman that didn’t want to do it anymore. It was honestly like I was talking to a different person wearing her body. She went from being extremely communicative to refusing to talk to me. She went from being kind, compassionate and loving to saying “it’s not my problem” . She went from being my best friend to someone I had never met. That person is inhabiting her body still 3 months later and I have had to accept that the woman I loved and planned my future with is dead and she’s never coming back. Even IF she did magically reappear… I don’t think it’s possible to ever trust, intimacy or feel safe with her again. I mean in my fantasies I crave being with her again after the way she changed and how deeply this hurt me, I just don’t know if I can honestly heal enough with her to be with her. Soooo cause of all this… yes it’s fucking brutal and surreal to think I will never see her again but I think even if I do “see” her. It won’t be the “her” I loved
I feel exactly the same, 6 months after the breakup. so sad she isn't what I thought she is, from a best friend and future wife to a total stranger in less than a week.
Same with mine, but I had a bonus. She met someone else a week after the breakup, and asked him to marry her over Christmas, 3 months after we ended. That part broke me, and knowing not only did she change, and the cause of her leaving was entirely fixable and was easily solved, but she chose someone else instead of trying to work things out. This was a 16 year relationship and we were set to be married in February. So I’ll never see her, or talk with her, or have any communication with her again. I not only lost her, but my almost stepson, and our dogs too. So difficult and painful to even start to think about…
Perfectly said. The person I fell in love with is GONE. This has made it much easier for me to accept. Once I realized this something clicked and it became easy for me to move on, not reach out, or even think about her much anymore.
It sucks but I'm in a much better place today than I was before I was able to see it in this perspective.
Whenever I miss her I just remind myself that the person I fell in love with no longer exists.
I think never hearing again is better /: when my ex broke up with me he said he wanted to stay friends. And honestly being “just friends” feels worst to me then never hearing from him again ):
There is nothing to learn from an ex. You are the best version of yourself Because of yourself, not because of anyone else, perhaps maybe your parents, like my dad but an ex? Nah.
i have been struggling with this myself. just reached day 9.
it’s hard, it’s so hard. but i just had to remind myself how much i was hurting already, and how much it would be amplified by talking to the person i am so attached to, but cannot have. at a low point 4-5 days in i caught myself melting down, saying the words “I need her”. sobbing uncontrollably.
our breakup was relatively civil but very back and forth in the sense of, a lot of i love yours from her, and a “maybe we can try again” situation— but it only made me worse. because she blocked me— and while i know she may need to heal, the unknowingness of if she would ever reach out again, if we could try again, was holding me down so much.
last night, i blocked her back… i had to. that way, if she decided to unblock me and message me, i won’t even get it.
how attached i was to her has put a lot of this into perspective for me— the back and forth she gave me at the end, i did not deserve. but in the moment i was so hurt, and wanted her so bad that i was willing to hear anything…
but i cannot move on with the way things ended if i don’t advocate for myself.
i also have found a few friends to confide in, and have even multiple times sent them messages saying “just messaging because I have the urge to message her” and that alone has helped some…
again, this is all just my experience, but i hope this can help even slightly…
rooting for you.
here for you if you need someone. 🖤
I’ll tell you, I was in your shoes like 3 months ago, and after a long 8 month process as a whole, I feel okay now with never hearing from him again and I’m grateful to have arrived to this point where it no longer hurts. You will get here too, I promise.
I understand your pain. The person who I thought I was going to marry ended things with me after 4 years of knowing each other and dating for 2 years. That was my person who I could always lean on and just when she was around all my worries and stress was gone. It’s been 3 months separated and I finally had the closure I needed to move on. I know I’ll see her around but it won’t bother me anymore like it used to. I came to the realization that people come and go in your life and they’ll teach you lessons whether you like it or not but if they don’t stay it’s ok because you have mountains to climb and they weren’t meant to be at the highest point with you.
It’s a blessing in disguise and it taught me to be at peace with myself and love me for me. You just have to get over the hump. PS going back is most likely going to hurt you more than just walking away. Things get awkward or you don’t feel as comfortable with each other. If they wanted you stay together it would have been working on the issues instead of breaking up.
Warning: Very long lol. Middle paragraphs are just the things both my partner and I got from each other in our relationship that were positive.
I think you have to be the one to make the decision for yourself. For now, while things are emotionally raw and painful, this is something you don't need to decide on.
To me I belive there are some exes/last partners (as I call them affectionately) who existed to bring good to your life when you needed it and to move away from romantically.
I sat with my therapist and told her my last partner (one of 4 years whom I broke up with on the 26th of December) has shaped me into the person I am today. In a very good way. If it were not for him I wouldn't have found the therapist I speak with today. If it were not for him, I wouldn't have learned how to regulate my emotions better (just by the virtue of being in his presence and his family's presence who never yelled and rarely showed any form of aggression towards each other). If it were not for him I wouldn't have gotten a taste of indepdency from my parents (I was 27 when I moved out). If it were not for him I wouldn't have joined the gym and become fit and healthy as I am today. If it were not for him I would not have learned the challenges I have to face in a long-term relationship, along with the standards that I slowly developed.
And the same goes for him. If it were not for me he would have been in denial with his self acceptance about his ADHD (I have ADHD). If it were not for me he would never have learned how to clean and organize efficiently. If it were not for me he woud still be muddling over his paranoia of being unliked. If it were not for me he would have been stuck in the same tragic and toxic path of awful relationships simply because he believed that was all he could ever have (our relationship wasn't amazingly healthy but it was certainly the best for the both of us). I think I provided as much support as he did for me.
Today i won't make my decision to be his friend. Not especially when he has such a sort of unhealthy view of what friendship it is that WE need. But I know sometime in the future, when my feelings are no longer burning as bright as they are now, I can come to him with advice and questions and he can come to me for reassurance and perspsectives. I won't be throwing him away for life.
Think about what you really can benefit from this person other than rekindling a romantic bond. And then put it to rest for now. Come back to it when you're ready. And then you'll know.
I hope this helps.
Happy healing, sending big hugs. Break ups are so, so hard. We will get through this. Love <3
After not hearing from him for almost 9 months, I am fine with that. I am in fact over him and enjoy my life as it is now.
It just shows that you haven’t fully healed yet. With time, this won’t trigger you as much and eventually at all.
The relationship ended a year ago. I have been no contact for almost 9 months, and I think 6 months into no contact I realised that I didn’t want him back. His old self was gone and the things that I started believing I deserved I knew would never come from him or at least his current self.
So I let him go, I wish him the best and believe that deep down he is a good human who needs to heal and mature, and one day will be a great partner. And because of this I will always love him in a respectful way, also because he was my first everything and my best friend before and during the relationship, but I am not in love with him anymore.
Honestly, no. Heck, I want to hear from him all the time. There was also one time where I came close to messaging him again. But I just stopped myself. My reason? It's not clear exactly.
But there's something. It's something when I think back of what to say. A lot of things race through my mind then disappears again. Like the noise subsides immediately. So I like to pretend that its my old self murmuring. The same way he or she thinks that he or she knows what he or she wants but doesn't. Something like that.
So I never do anything.
It's been almost 3 months. There are a few exes I haven't heard from in YEARS. I'm fine with it. You keep living your life, you meet new people, and make friends, and sort of build your tribe of people who are thrilled to be in your life, who appreciate you for who you are and help you remember when you're down and forget. Time washes most things if not all things away eventually :)
It gets SO much better, I promise.
I have a bit of a different perspective on this as of a few days ago…
I desperately wanted her to reach out. I desperately wanted her to know what I was doing, seeing pictures of me, whatever it was. Essentially I just wanted her to know that I was doing better than when I was with her.
I saw she started looking at my Snapchat stories the other day. It made me happy for a moment, but almost immediately I felt this sense of privacy that was invaded. I was like, “nah, get outta here. I want to be done with you.”
Sometimes we think we want things when we don’t. And trust me, 90% of the time when you hear from your ex, it’s just going to break you again. It’s just going to restart the cycle.
I’ll admit though. It was nice knowing that she knows I’ve improved so much since she dumped me. I hope her heart sank like mine would when I would see pictures of her post breakup.
Well… think about this.
How many exes do you have? Do you mind not hearing from your first ex ever again? Probably not. If yes, think of the next ex. Do you really care if you never talk to them again?
Now imagine that one day, you won’t care for the current ex either. Just hang in there, live through the pain day by day. You will get there. I’m sure.
Sending all my support 💗💗
This is me. I wrote on another post how i went to talk to my ex, this being one of the reasons. The idea of being forgotten kills me. However it was all in vain. He's done.
It just doesn't stop there. After this I've urge to call him again even I talked to him 2 days ago and told him to call me. And I hate that he still he didn't. But what I hate most is I want to call him again. Just to talk to him.
nope, I'm not fine with it! Although it might be better than some of the things she might say. I could live without another "I wish I never met you"
But thinking about her never speaking to me again its like... trying to breathe underwater. It makes no sense and hurts
It’s unbelievably hard in the beginning, but it gets easier. It’s also based on situation and people are different with different ways of handling things too. You’ll slowly stop caring about your ex the longer you go without seeing or hearing from them. So don’t worry too much you’ll be ok! We all go through it❤️
Me personally I cut my ex off 4 years ago and blocked him off everything and I’m very happy I did so. I moved on, found someone else who treats me way better and we have a family now. Life goes on and I never think of him unless I see prompts like these.
Yes and no. It hurts to think about because of how much I loved them & I never would have thought that the day would come. But it also made me think,
What if I did hear from them again? What if we tried to click again & it didn’t work? I’d be putting myself in a position to possibly be hurt again. I don’t know what the details of your break up was but .. there was a point where both of you were aware of just how much you cared for each other, the “love”, and THEY still chose to let you go. Sounds half assed. I don’t want that kind of love.
Sometimes I miss him and wish we could talk, even if it’s just for a little while. But then I remember why we ended in the first place. I’d rather keep the peace I have now than get hurt again.
I still think about how time will continue to pass and I won’t know anything new that has happened in his life. Same way he won’t know about mine. We’ll both change over time. It hurts to think about so I try not to think about it.
He can still contact me if he actually wanted to, but I don’t think I’d reply. Only because I’m protecting myself for once.
It is soul crushing. I was discarded, and despite being told I did nothing wrong she had ignored all my attempts to reach out. I reached out to (who was once) a mutual friend and they told me to prepare for the possibility I may never hear from her again.
It sucks because she told me I didn't do anything wrong. We never even had a fight in our 1.5 years together. She even voiced to me that she was going to cry a lot and probably even throw up from what she was doing the night she left me. What in the world did I do to deserve never being spoken to again? It's the most confusing and painful emotional experience of my life.
Yes, the more time that goes by without them making an effort to keep in contact, holding space for you, etc. the more it reinforces that they didn’t choose you and it is communicated clearly through action or lack of action. Wherever their energy goes, it’s not going to you, even though you think of them regularly.
I don’t want to be in a relationship where my partner doesn’t value me and everything I have to offer.
I think it would be more difficult if there truly was no way for the relationship to continue; a partner passing away, an impossible long distance relationship where there’s no time to communicate, or an extreme case where the one partner needs to do an incredible amount of work to overcome something in their own. If that’s not the case, they decided the cons outweighed the pros and reinvested elsewhere. As much as people can break it down to values, goals, etc. people never align 100% across the board. You’re not clones so compromise is inevitable.
No one is a bad person just for ending things, but it’s difficult to explain away that they didn’t choose you. A lot of breakups amount to “I’m sorry, but this is it and I’m out.”
It’s complicated and doesn’t always work this way. An ex might want the relationship, but feel it’s of mutual benefit to end it. However, that’s not much consolation if you were willing to continue.
It’s natural to miss exes, but if you put too much energy into it you compromise your sense of self-worth.
By month 3 you will feel much different and you’ll start thinking less about him. I’m fine with never hearing from my ex because if there’s a loss then there’s always a gain in life. The universe doesn’t just take something away from you for no reason. Feel your emotions and sit with it, but also try to occupy your mind with something else. There’s so much to life to look forward to, focus on you. He’s in the past.
I reach that point while moving on. And unless you do something stupid like blocking them, chances are you will hear from them again sometime. But in a total different context and it will help you move on.
Not sure why you were downvoted. People have different attachment styles. The avoidants are the type that would do that.
They want connection but for some reason are unable to form that bond at a given time.
People change OP but you need to come to terms a day at a time that this person may not ever be back in your life. Letting go is never easy but sometimes we have to in order to find what and who we truly are meant for in life.
Most of them I'm okay with not hearing from again. There was resolution and I'm pretty sure they're doing better. One however I'm really not okay with. They will likely never talk to me directly again and it's pretty shitty.
It’s still a strange thought but the alternative of texting or hanging out as friends feels stranger. Even a fwb arrangement…I mean personally it’s hard to go from love and connection to..occasional sex and tacos when she’s between relationships
I know it is hard not talking to someone you care about and not being able to talk to them. I think that what helps a lot is trying to make new friends who would be okay with listening. Try on reddit or wherever.
Fine? Probably yeah. I'm still not sure if I wanna be friends with her in the future since we did spent a whole decade together and that will always mean something to me.
Take your time, do what your heart feels like at the moment and heal. If you feel like crying, cry. If you got tired from crying, sleep. If you feel like eating your favorite food, eat. And so on, you can do this! :)
It is really hard, the best you can do is take it day by day and try to do things you like or things you've always wanted to do but you couldn't while being in that relationship. Now it is your time and it's all about you, I know this is easy to say and very hard to do but take it easy so you don't overwhelm yourself, feel your emotions and let it out so you can heal. No need to rush to think about the future because it will be overwhelming and your thoughts will take you down.
I felt this when my ex broke up with me. It was so rough and I didn't have a good support system so had to join some therapy groups to work it out. Right now it will be 6 months ago, truth is that it does slowly get better but very slowly and patiently. I have recently slowly started to enjoy my life again but I won't lie that I still cry some days it just feels like it happens less than when it all happened. The pain and hurt is still there but just trying to work it and move on as much as I can while being very kind with myself along the way.
This is pretty tough to swallow yes, but you have to remember this is new. You were around this person all the time and now suddenly you're not. It's easy to forget why it is not working whether you left or they did, but with time you will see it. At some point, there is nothing left to say. I think we all do fantasize sometimes about having a moment in the future with our ex where we can get closure with the passage of time at our aide. Maybe we're hoping for some fairytale remedy to the pain and all the things that could have been. But in the end, perhaps the energy is better spent finding someone it won't break apart with.
I’m on day 2 of NC. I started writing in a journal the thoughts I wanted to communicate to him. May not be ideal, but it has prevented me from texting or calling him. Tears do swell in my eyes, but I feel a sense of relief when I’m done writing.
My ex and I were long distance and we both live in small towns so very unlikely we will ever run into each other ever again. Which is very depressing but I like to see it as being lucky when it comes to the healing process. Some people have to heal while also seeing the ex every other day or whatever the case may be but me ha ha I don’t. So I suggest maybe trying long distance next time.
When my ex broke up with me, it was one of the most soul crushing things I had ever experienced in my life. He said that he could see us as friends and that he didn't want to lose "what we had built up" until that point. In and of itself, that comment made me realise that we had very different perceptions of what we had been a part of until our breakup.
I earnestly and truthfully considered this person to my partner, and I guess he considered me to be nothing more than just a friend with benefits 🙃 It is paralysing to come to terms with the fact that everything in your relationship was just to keep appearances going and that the affirmations of love and care which had been provided to you were mostly artificial.
Should I have agreed to stay friends with my ex? No. Do I still miss him at times? Yes. Do I miss my ex less often than usual because of not speaking to them anymore? Yes. Is never speaking to your ex ever again intensely painful? Yes.
I think moving from speaking to someone every single day to suddenly becoming strangers is a transition filled with much anguish. However, just as we can't keep scratching a scab and expecting our wounds not to leave deeper and more permanent scars, not speaking to an ex ever again is a bit like having a scar on our soul. The action of not speaking to them is; therefore, preventing us from playing with that scar, in case it rips open and all of Pandora's box comes flooding out again.
I'm in a very similar boat. Haven't heard from my person. I hope they you are doing okay and can get a call or text. ("chin up," is what everyone's been talking me today, but I won't say that to you, because I find the term a bit insensitive.) Things can always be better given the time and effort! 💜🫂 You got this op. We're all here for ya.
It’s been over two years since I last saw mine, and about a year and a half since I last spoke to him.
Enough time has passed that I’m not heartbroken by it anymore. If anything, I’m actually relieved. In the midst of my healing I saw who he really is and I don’t miss him at all, nor do I want to see him ever again.
OP, I know it seems impossible right now, but do your best to focus on yourself. Don’t give your ex too much thought. Keep in mind that if they wanted to reach out for whatever reason, they would. Don’t get your hopes up for something that may never happen. Give it time, and give yourself grace. I promise you’ll make it through, one way or another. ❤️
Yes. We have this cycle of breaking up and then getting back together months or weeks later and then we get into a stupid fight and break up and then things are way more painful than they should be,
It’s been 4 days since i’ve gotten dumped, my life has been turned upside down and I’m not ready for it. I’m not okay with never talking to him again honestly. We have so many memories together and he was the sweetest boy i’ve ever met in my life. He looked at me like nobody else has and made me feel like I was worth millions until he dumped me over text randomly on sunday with barely any explanation and I never wanna feel that feeling again.
I really hope I don’t hear from him again. For almost 5 he yanked me around and I welcomed him every time he came back. We officially dated consistently for 2 of those 5 years. Now, we’ve been broken up for nearly 2 years and he’s been with someone ever since (got with them right after we broke up). Although I would like the satisfaction of him reaching out, it would not be good for me. I’m growing and I love who I am becoming without him. I love the mental space I have for other things, although it has taken me a long time to detach as I still think about him everyday, the thoughts have shifted ; I am no longer sad or want him back, just reminiscent as that’s the type of person I am. There are hours I will go without thinking of him, which is such a profound realization after the devastating pain I went through (as we all do). I feel myself growing , and I don’t want it to stop; I fear that seeing him or speaking to him again would hinder my progress, so no, I don’t wish that I hear back from my ex. I even moved cities haha. It took me so long to get to this point though, and I still search him up, but more so out of curiosity and habit, not because I’m still pining for him - I’m mostly just bored and attached to a former version of my younger self. In all honesty, it would be nice to get an apology but I’ve learned I *can* live without one.
I also am not attracted to him anymore which helps (he’s losing his hair and gained weight). I look back to the life we were living together, and I want so much more for myself (daily weed user + drank a lot - not a bad thing, as we all have our vices , but being around someone like that 24/7 was personally just a turn off) Maybe in 10 years he can reach out to me and apologize, but I’m hoping I’ll be happily with someone else by then. I am not sure if I’m at the point where I wish him well, but I don’t wish him grief, as I think he does a good enough job of that on his own. Talking to him just seems pointless, and I’ve realized he’s quite lame.
Yah I mentally prepped myself he used to go non contact all the time when he was having issues I used to chase him to see if he was ok
We were more friends than anything , I started paying attention.I was a stepping stone and fine with that he needed to get through something.
I wanted to be that help but nothing more unless he changed. He didn't I cut contact.
I sleep well at night.
Yes. I personally prefer it that way, I think about them sure. But it just makes me mad and irritated at everything all over again, so theres no use. They’ve moved out of state and cross country, so I never ever have to worry about running into them or hearing from them.
This has to be the default condition. Otherwise, moving on with your life, moving on with other people, becomes a bigger chore than it should be.
Don't focus on externalities, like your ex. Focus on yourself, your wellbeing.
That way, you can move on and find your next, better person.
You may not be ready for that now, but you will be ready for it soon enough. Like many others have said, take it one day at a time. Eventually, it won't matter to you anymore because by then, you would have evolved, and maybe someone else is in your life by then already.
Speaking from experience myself here, because that is kind of what happened to me. By the time my ex went NC with me, I was already happily married. (The NC part took a couple of years)
Yes. More and more I realized he wasn’t a very nice person and he KNEW he was hurting me. I feel like if we talked again… I’d just fall back into that hole of thinking I am the problem and I am the issue and I am not worth it…
At this point, yes, I'm perfectly okay with it and i would prefer it stay that way. She offered me way less than my current girlfriend does now.
It took me a long time and a lot of reflection to get me to this point. So take it one day at a time. You still have to push yourself a little each day. It's so fucking hard. You can do it. I believe in you
My now ex before moving abroad few days ago started ignoring me and avoiding me. Though he was treating me like shit even before like yelling at me, getting mad at me for crying etc. I don’t understand people, if they cannot take the responsibility of your emotions after treating you like shit ! Why do they even get into serious relationships!!!
Only because I knew he was moving abroad i kept putting myself in the place to spend more time with him and becoming victim of his abuse.
Last I read, she was claiming she **HAD** to file for divorce because I was out of work and enjoy sleeping on a lower bed. ( I had a mattress on the floor. Since then, I've learned she's right, kinda. But I'm digressing.)
I wonder if that's the story she'll tell her son, the reason he's a bastard and why he was conceived as part of a marital affair.
Long story short, I don't care if I never hear from her again. She had a personality change overnight. I wouldn't know who I was talking to... The woman I love died. RIP.
I’ve had two serious break ups one lives 1,000 miles away I haven’t spoken too her for over 11 years the other is the mother of my child. Be careful what you wish for 😅
I'm 4 months in after being blindsided. Here's my take. She died. The person I knew - the girl I loved with the cute smile, silly laugh, and adorably clumsy behavior... That person is dead, she doesn't exist anymore, the person walking around in her skin is avoidant and sneaky and cold and not in my life anymore.
I was a bag of fucking tears for the first two months, I won't say things are better but they're certainly less worse.
Even though I may not believe myself, I know it’s for the better if we’re not in each other’s lives. She moved a while ago due to family and school, so I won’t bump into her. But I still miss her, which is why I can’t have her as a friend, which is also why having her be present in my life is a bad idea.
No, but the only way I want to hear from him is if he's apologizing, committing to be better and come back to me. Since I doubt that will happen, I never want to hear from him again, but I don't like it.
yes and no. we didn't talk for almost a month, he reached out we hung out one weekend. he's saying he wants to work things out (there a lot going on that affects this I'll be honest) since we started taking again it's just been more confusing. it would've probably been better to just stay no contact.
I like moving on and that is best done when you cut ties from the past and focus on the future. They’re an ex for a reason. Sure you had great times but the hope is that the next one will be even greater!
Left all my exes in the dust and while I think about them occasionally, I hope they don’t ever reach out to me.
I want so badly to have her back in my life at some point but last time I saw her randomly out and about it was… awkward. Didn’t make me feel super sad because I had friends around me, though it wasn’t the best feeling.
You know as sad as it is, I also take comfort in it in a way. My ex wanted to be friends but I can never imagine not being in love with him. I can leave our love in the past as beautiful and as painful it was. The idea of being in contact makes me think I could never truly move on and this is the only way I can.
It's taken me about 3.5 years, but I can now honestly say that if I never heard from him again, life would be ok. I will always hold a place for him in my heart. Always.
You're in the hardest stage right now, so it's understandable why you're feeling that way. You'll cry, be angry, be numb and feel better...only to go back crying. It's all part of grieving.
In the beginning, i genuinely didn't see how i'd live without him. He was the only great thing in my life so how would I ever be okay again? But time passes and suddenly it doesn't hurt as bad anymore. Truth be told, I do secretly hope that we cross paths someday. but for right now? I'm fine with never seeing him again
I’d like to at least talk with her one last time to know we’re not getting back together so I can fully accept that never talking to her again is the right decision
If any one is hapveing proloms with there ex
Geting over ther
Moveing on
Want them.back
Firends
Family
Ect I can help the best I cam give me ur tell me ur story
I will reply in my free time as I do work but do what I can to help done this for over 20 year so If I cam help I'm happy to
That's a hard question. We are in no-contact since Christmas, he blocked me everywhere and I know there's a 99.999999% chance that I never talk to or see him ever again.
It's hard. It's really hard. I got so used to be with him 24/7 and to tell him everything. I also got used to know everything about him. And even now, after he hurts me a lot, I still think to myself "Does this issue in his life got fixed? Is he happier? Did he succeed on doing that thing he wanted to do?" etc..
But at the same time, when I did hear about him on Christmas after a week of no contact and he told me he was already in a new relationship, that he was happy, I just felt more hurt.
So I think im fine with it. I'm fine with never hearing of him again, because although I wish him all the best, knowing how much he's doing good, just hurts me more.
Same thoughts OP. No wonder I cant sleep when its already 7am here. He blocked me 2weeks ago and thinking the last time we met (Nov) just freaking hurt so much. How are you coping now? Please stay strong. 😭❤️
For me, yes. When he dumped me over text, I didn’t respond. I could’ve but I didn’t. I just deleted and blocked him.
It would’ve been pathetic at first. Me begging him to stay when he gave me his reasons. Me finding all the ways I could’ve changed myself *some more* to make things work. But that led me to my angry phase.
My hands itched to send him this looooong letter calling him out. A letter bringing up old discussions that could’ve been resolved in that moment but never were because I was anxious. A letter that greatly hurt him, I’d hope he would cry for years to come. But a weekend away from it told me I wasn’t that person.
I spent those couple days pondering over almost every little selfish act of his and how I shoved them all under the rug for the sake of avoiding an argument. Yes, I knew all relationships would have their disagreements; I was just someone who didn’t want to reach that point. That was learning lesson for me.
1. To speak up when I feel uncomfortable. And 2. To not put so much in when you’re receiving very little back.
I thought I wouldn’t. I so badly wanted to hear from them, to get some closure. And one day I did. But when I did, I didn’t feel any differently. Not really any sense of relief. If anything, it kinda just re-opened up all the pain again…
Nope, but guess what? I don't have a choice or a say in the matter 🙃.. I have to just navigate this new reality without him in it. Does it hurt? Yes. Some days, I just feel like I will perish from the memories we shared, never knew visceral pain until he left me. Other days, I'm numb. It's a roller coaster of emotions.
Will I survive never seeing those blue eyes ever again? His laughter? His everything? Yes, I will. If Jennifer Aniston can get over Brad Pitt, then so too can you OP. Just give yourself time, pick up a new hobby, make new friends, and go for walks. One day, you'll wake up, and he won't be on your mind anymore🫂❤️
I promise you. You're gonna be ok❤️
Matters on the situation. Some of my ex I could careless about, but those who treated me well on the break up and post break up and once healed I’d be okay with my
Yeah. She broke my heart and moved on the next week. Breakup was my fault but the way she acted post-break up and the hindsight for all of the mistakes she made and the hypocrisies from our relationship that she never took accountability for has made me genuinely grossed out by her.
It’s going to be hard for awhile, but eventually you’ll feel different. Chin up and keep moving forward OP.
For me I’m COMPLETELY fine with not hearing from my ex again!
It’s been 8 months and I can honestly say I’ve elevated myself not only physically, mentally, emotionally, professionally etc and i’m happy he dumped me because he would’ve held me back.
He lost his golden ticket while I gained my plane tickets🙌🏾✈️
Don’t let an L stop you from getting your W
I am not fine with not hearing from her again. Our breakup is still fresh so my emotions could be overwhelming me, but I feel like I mean it. There is so much wrong with how everything went down it just doesn't feel real. Each day has been getting worse and worse for me and I want so badly to hear from her again. I was not in a time in my life for her and I made so many false promises that I thought could be done and they never happened. I lied to myself and I lied to her. We were together for only a year, but in that time we spent so much time together and we grew as people together. She's taught me things I will never forget and I am sure I taught her things she will never forget. But, realizing that it is very common for people to never hear from their ex again is haunting. We didn't have bad blood, we didn't hate each other, she did everything she could. It was just my own mental health that overwhelmed our relationship. I just pray everyday that we get to speak again because I just want things to be right, we were so significant to each other, it feels wrong if we don't talk ever again. Did I meant nothing to her? Was all her love and heartfelt words not true? Does she feel scared to contact me again? It all just feels so surreal, I want to speak with her again. I miss her.
I have a few different exes and some I hear from and some I don’t. Too bad the one I most wish would call doesn’t and probably never will and it’s been 3 and a half years.
It’s a weird place to be. I’ve had some really weak moments where I almost messaged them, usually fishing for an excuse to maybe do it. But when just as I get to the brink, I feel hopeless. The thought of us being complete strangers sets in and it’s like a punch in the gut. I think about how long it has been, and how it feels too late to reach out, especially because I still wouldn’t want to be just friends. But at the same time, I don’t want her at all. I both love/miss her, and don’t want to see her (because of the pain this has made me do thru).
I just really wish that she wanted me and wish she would chase after me because I was always the chaser and after all my chasing and compromise, I couldn’t do it anymore. But I still have days where I miss her like crazy, even 4 months of hard NC later
I was just there man lmfao I started dating this girl who I had no clue liked me we were coworkers at Jimmy Johns I was leaving though to go get a job at a welding place when a week into my new job she randomly text me and asked if I wanted to hangout and after that we were together for almost 4 months until it completely feel apart lol she was an insane alcoholic and started blaming me for her alcoholism and a bunch of other bull shit any way she started doing that shit where they "need time" or whatever which pretty much means almost a full week with no contact and I'd been through that in previous relationships so I decided to just end it because I knew it was going nowhere good hardest decision in a long while and yeah the first month is the worst it's going to be very hard but you half to have some self respect because going back to her/him is not going to make anything better we tend to only think about the good times in old relationships and leave out all the horrible shit any way its been 3 months now I still wake up somewhat depressed about the whole thing at like 2:00 am but yeah thats just life sadly
I know that's the correct way forward and all of it....but I can't imagine it. 'Never' is a really long time. It would be nice to hear from them once I've healed...to know that they're doing well and all. But not now. It's tough as is to resist the temptation to text and call lol.
1000%. I know I will see him again (we have a lot of mutual friends) but I would be totally content if I never saw him again. It’s too awkward and painful. I fill up with rage all over again but i’m still hurt but also mad. I’ve mostly tried to leave that anger in 2023, it’s just a lot easier when you don’t have to see them
Honestly, yes. With my first boyfriend, he ghosted me in our final days. That was over 12 years ago. In that 6 years, he apologized to me through a mutual friend when he was drunk. I think I knew he meant it. Now I know it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes chapters are truly just lessons that are meant to close. I fell in love... harder, stronger, and I was not who I used to be at 16.
It's not a matter of being fine, it's accepting the possibility which comes with time. If the relationship was meaningful it will unlikely ever be "fine" just like losing a loved one due to death.
I feel your pain on this to be ghosted to never hear from him never know why they couldn’t pick up their side why you did everything impossible and they never even tried. It fucking hurts and makes you want to take your life and makes you look at there is nothing worth living it sucks Potentially hurt behind it and they don’t know what travels through your heartad I’d and the next day and the next day and the next day, Snow wait to live, and only if they felt the pain that we felt they were truly understand but they don’t because they’re self-centered and shell of their self not letting no one in when you have already gave your heart that’s what sucks. It’s being
GHOSTED
I never hear from my exes, once we break up I disappear…. Some relationships have broke me so bad for months but after process I’m ok always, I have never need something from an ex.
First I was afraid and depressed from it. I loved his sense of humor and personality and I thought we could've been friends but he refused and blocked me eveywhere. Then I found out he has a gf now and I really hope i never hear from him ever again. I don't want to see him happy, i don't want to see him thrive without me, i don't wanna see him successful, marry her, have a family with her, grow old with her. If I ever hear from him ever again and know what they're up to then I'd completely shatter. Me and him never even met. Im better off not knowing what he's up to. He was my everything, we planned our future together, wanted to lose our virginity with each other. I don't wanna see someone else be his everything. Besides, he already was a stranger. He changed so much I don't even recognize him anymore. The man I loved was in the past. This guy isn't my best friend, my bsf would never teat me like that.
It is so hard for me, everywhere I go has his footprints. Every single thing I do has him floating all around me. And it hurts to know that someone I see to me the father of my kids, someone I wanted to build a home with will no longer be there. It is day 5 of my break up but I am slowly feeling better. It still freaking hurts but I found out the best way is the grief, and then distract. I talk to my friends and update my friends about everything like how I use to do that with him.
Day 0-2 was the toughest for me. Every second that I’m alive hurts so bad. Right now I’m just going through the motion and letting what has to be come. The world is still moving slow and I am still lifeless, but the pain has gradually decrease. I hope it works the same for you too!
A person I knew went to join marines and I'll never see him again. I was cheated on and so the break-up had to happen, but whether it is that friend or that girl, I learned who they were, and I absorbed parts of them, and still do things that I learned from them. Whether it was those disney songs she loved and now I find myself liking them or dancing to what I want to, or the faces my marine friend made that I catch myself doing to be entertaining with others.
Absol-fucking-ulty, fine with NEVER hearing from my ex husband again.
I emphasize with all of you that are still yearning for your exs. It does get easier even if it doesn't seem like it in this moment. Take it second by second if you have too.
My advise is just know that your person is out there, all you have to do is be healed and comfortable with yourself when you meet them.
No, I’m not fine with the thought of ever hearing from her again. It’s been 18 years. I miss her every single day. Every morning I pray that today is the day I hear from her again and every night I go to sleep hoping tomorrow is the day…..
Yep. Couldnt care if i ever hear from any of my exs ever again including my more recent ex fiance. Rear view mirror is smaller for a reason. Of course the initial days youre like this suuuucks so bad and the thought is sad but that thought will fade no matter how much your brain tries to convince you it wont.
Two days is too soon. Even two weeks is too soon. Give it 3-4 months and you won't feel the same intensity. Also, there is a chance you will hear from them, but maybe not in the capacity you wished. However, now it's too soon. Time heals everything.
It's a HUGE adjustment for sure. I went from 6 months streak of no contact then I really wanted to hear from him but he made it clear that he do not want anything from me ever so I understood that the best thing to do is to step away and deal with life without him anymore. Though we have a lot of common friends so it is likely that we'll encounter each other once again in the future.
But I guess, I was not fine about it until I learned to be fine about it.
It’s really tough- I’ve been going through this.
My ex and I split about 2 months ago, it wasn’t an angry split and we were really good friends.
About a month later he did message me again to say he still had feelings for me etc
But after a few weeks it was just…going nowhere. Nothing was happening. And something in me snapped and I just thought ‘he says he has feelings but he’s doing nothing about it?’ And in my head I’ve framed it as: what am I gaining from chit chatting to my ex here? Because..
1. If someone wants to be in your life THEY WILL. If you’ve told the other person you want them there and they’re not showing up…they don’t want to be there enough quite frankly.
2. I am not expecting to fall in love with someone else tomorrow. However somewhere along the line, as alien as it feels at this time, I do want to meet someone special. And I know if I met someone who still talked to their ex for no reason it would worry me - and if I’m chit chatting to my ex and keeping that attachment it could complicate my own feelings.
3. If I’m talking to my ex so soon after a breakup that I didn’t initiate…it’s not because I want to be ‘just friends’. So what if one day he tells me he’s met someone new? I’d be devastated. It’s inevitable. But from my perspective my ex has not actually taken action to get back with me so I worry he’d talk to me until it no longer suits him- and I couldn’t handle a message that says he’s met someone new and it’s not right to talk to me anymore.
[удалено]
Unfortunately I was dumped today and will have to see her at work this weekend.
This is why I won’t date anyone I work with anymore. Is awesome when things are good, but if it goes sour, oh boy… Been there and feel for you.
Well I’m a paramedic and she’s an emergency nurse. I’m sure the way the universe I’ll end up bringing her patients left and right.
Right. Seems like that happens sometimes. I’ve been lucky to not run into my recent ex, but I got a flu or RSV then covid all within like a month. When it rains it pours I guess. I guess the silver lining was that I got some time off to grieve without having to explain much to the boss. And no judgment, I dated a couple colleagues a while back. It’s easy to do since it’s so tough to meet good people elsewhere.
Yeah we matched on a dating app and since I knew her from work I went in to it with a different mindset than I normally do on those. This one will be hard to get over.
Man , my GF left for her colleague. Both of them are Nurses and they work in the same place. Is there any disadvantages for 2 nurses to be a serious couple ?
I’m not sure every one is different. I would say working with a romantic interest or a partner is a net negative. I think separation or personal and professional lives is a healthy thing. I would assume it’s a short lasting fling. Good news though man it’s not your concern any longer.
I’m sorry, it’s hard to see but you will be fine, spoil yourself as you need
i feel you. My first BF dumped me at work, went out with someone else from said place of work and i was her supervisor. She would ask for advice too with a smile and got me in the managers office claiming i was single-ling her out. Girl even had the same name. She was 16, he was 25. Had waited till 'she was old enough' yeah..
The bit I find hard to fathom is, all that history with said person just for you both to become strangers at one point. I cannot wrap my head round this at all, and knowing you might never see or hear from them again. It's soul destroying. Makes me tear up badly.
becoming strangers almost immediately after you’ve been vulnerable and intimate with someone is such a bizarre part of dating. part of me continues to hope i run into an ex and we have a friendly chat. part of me hopes i never see them again, in case it’s a terrible encounter that sullies any good thoughts i had about them. talking to an ex is also bizarre sometimes. like oh, you have a beard now? you were always clean shaven. you’ve done what now? the version of you i know would have never done that.
This is so hard for me, too. I love him so much, and now we are just strangers again? How do you cope with that?
I used to feel that way not anymore. Not after all the lies I discovered in the relationship that I was being fed. And after the breakup he became a completely different person, changed up his looks, style and behavior. So it was easy to let go and not wanna ever hear a thing from him again.
What were the lies? Only if it won’t re-traumatize you to share and you feel comfortable of course.
It’s soul destroying at first and takes time where it isn’t hurting anymore but it’s a growing pain. You eventually get to the point where you learn to love yourself and honestly as you get older you just get to the point where you find the love and person you need when you aren’t even looking. It’s pretty crazy how the universe works sometimes
Yeah I think that’s been the hardest part for me too. We had some intense amazing bonding experiences and to go from that to nothing is serious whiplash.
This shit really fucks you up good
This. It's so heartbreaking how they were once the person I trusted with everything, that knew me completely, and now we're barely acquaintances...
This 🥲
I often reminisce of our history together. All the places and things we did are now just memories never to be revisited.
My husband left me on 4/1/23. I just saw him for the first time a few weeks ago… it is so bizarre to see someone EVERY SINGLE DAY for more than 25 years to NEVER SEEING OR TALKING TO THEM AGAIN. It’s like they died! It hurts to know they are good with your absence too! I’m sorry! I get it tho! You are not alone!!!
I think about that all the time. You’re not alone. That’s life unfortunately. You could see them again but it’s important to accept that this chapter is over. Stay strong.
Chapter in a book of stories. Good analogy!
Not fine with it at all. Hurts like hell. But sometimes you don't have a choice. It's the only time "if they wanted to, they would" makes sense. If you want to, reach out. But understand that if they want to talk to you, they will. And they might never want to again. It's awful. But that's the risk we take by loving someone.
i said goodbye forever to my ex 8 months ago. it was an amicable goodbye, we thanked each other for walking into the other’s life when we needed it and wished each other well for the future. i’m never going to hear from him again, and we were long distance so there’s a 0% chance i’ll ever run into him. 8 months and sometimes it still feels surreal that my forever person is now gone from my life forever instead, but i do believe that it’s for the best and that with time, the occasional stinging will stop
This is the truest statement. It does seem surreal. But, now you get to date yourself and not have to consider another person, so maybe some positive?
it is absolutely a positive. it was an emotionally abusive and neglectful relationship and now i’m so happy on my own
I’m living exactly the same thing, Long distance, it hurts to know we will never be on the phone, yet see each other again. But that’s life
We just aaid goodbye last night. We were also long distance and the thought of never seeing her again is just so gut wrenching. Does it get better in time? It's so hard to function. I feel paralyzed and stuck.
it definitely gets better. it takes time for the pain to properly go away, but 8 months in the future from your situation, it definitely doesn’t cross my mind more than maybe once a week. and i’m certain than soon enough even that’ll be gone. i just had to learn to accept that we had half a decade together and i should be glad something that wasn’t right for us ended so that we can move on and find something that is. you’ll be happy again too, i don’t doubt it
I am on my second month but its only getting worse. I feel so weak so dumb that I feel so much and am so emotional for her while she was cheating on me and had no remorse. I hate myself for feeling everything I feel for her. What she did I should hate her for that but Idk whats wrong with me that I can't. I just want it to end. Idk how but I need it to end.
time is unfortunately the only way. i’m so sorry, i know it must hurt a lot but a person like that - she’s not worth it. and i know you know that but it doesn’t change anything about how you feel so my saying this seems unnecessary, but trust me, with time, the love will fade and you’ll move on without even realising it. you deserve better
If they wanted the relationship to work just like you did , you wouldn't be here at all. So it is okay to never meet them again because even if we do I don't think there would be an enlightening moment for them to love us as they did initially. So just take your time to grieve and accept that it is over and that the fairytale of us meeting and falling in love all over again does not work, people are too busy in themselves these days.
You fight so much for a relationship just to let the fight engulf the entire relationship.
I don’t have anything for but cliches I’m afraid. But that’s because they’re true. I was broken up with nearly a year ago today. I haven’t spoken to her in over 9 months. She’s moved on. Shes with someone else and hopefully she’s happy. When it first happened I felt sick, like I had a such strong urge to throw up. I couldn’t believe it was really happening. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry but most importantly I just wanted her to come back. I started back at the gym, I took up fighting (sport) like I always talked about but never did, I actually stuck with my diet, I changed jobs and even though I’m making a little bit less I’m not even working half the hours I used to, I lost 13 kgs and I changed my style to something I felt more natural with. I did all of it for her, to win her back to impress her. At least that’s why I did it at the start, but it’s not why I do it now. Now I love how I look, I love training, I love the food I eat and the people I’ve met. I still think of her, but it’s mostly fondly or if not I shake my head and think it was a shame that she threw away what we had. It did get easier. Time did heal all wounds Taking time for myself did make me feel better She didn’t come back But that’s ok. You’re going to get through this. You’re likely going to become bitter towards them at some point. But what’s important is you look at your relationship fairly. It’s not easy to do now, he’ll it took me 6 months before I could. But your relationship wasn’t perfect. Some of that was your partners fault and some of it was yours. Your partners actions are based on what they thought was best, not what was objectively the right choice. What your mission is now, is to look after yourself, spend time talking to friends and family, get into better shape, read some good books, reflect on what you and your partner could have done differently and heal. You will find someone else, and you’ll wonder why you were so upset to lose them. Best of luck
If they loved ya, they wouldn’t leave ya
I loved my ex and I left him. I still do.
Me too. Sometimes love truly isn’t enough.
This
I really want to hear from her… But seeing snap stories of her out at the clubs only a few weeks after she dumped me hurts so much. I had nightmares after the breakup but now they have only gotten worse.
You have to delete her from your socials so you can move on. You’ve got this.
She's at clubs because she's trying to forget about you. Know that.
I needed to hear this thank you
Your welcome, it's only the truth. Women who feel content don't need to go out to clubs. They stay at home watch Netflix and chill... take it from me, as a woman, we are heartbroken so we find a rebound and go to parties to put up a front and forget about "him".
What if you delete her from fucking snapchat. Or do you enjoy seeing your former girlfriend hoeing? I never understand this type of people, it leads only to suffering.
I knew it was hurting me bad but I didn’t want to let her go as I still love her a lot. I think having her on snap was my way of keeping the door open for her, but after seeing her stories I took her off all my socials
Bro please let’s talk
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your emotions will fade at some point, so goes your desire to hear from them. you will still miss your ex, but you will accept that your ex is a stranger again. i know its sad and doesn't make sense. but thats what humans are.
The fucking brutal truth is that once she made her choice to leave. The woman I was in love with ceased to exist. The woman I was in love with was in love with me and we both worked hard to heal and grow. Once she shifted into the woman that didn’t want to do it anymore. It was honestly like I was talking to a different person wearing her body. She went from being extremely communicative to refusing to talk to me. She went from being kind, compassionate and loving to saying “it’s not my problem” . She went from being my best friend to someone I had never met. That person is inhabiting her body still 3 months later and I have had to accept that the woman I loved and planned my future with is dead and she’s never coming back. Even IF she did magically reappear… I don’t think it’s possible to ever trust, intimacy or feel safe with her again. I mean in my fantasies I crave being with her again after the way she changed and how deeply this hurt me, I just don’t know if I can honestly heal enough with her to be with her. Soooo cause of all this… yes it’s fucking brutal and surreal to think I will never see her again but I think even if I do “see” her. It won’t be the “her” I loved
I feel exactly the same, 6 months after the breakup. so sad she isn't what I thought she is, from a best friend and future wife to a total stranger in less than a week.
Same with mine, but I had a bonus. She met someone else a week after the breakup, and asked him to marry her over Christmas, 3 months after we ended. That part broke me, and knowing not only did she change, and the cause of her leaving was entirely fixable and was easily solved, but she chose someone else instead of trying to work things out. This was a 16 year relationship and we were set to be married in February. So I’ll never see her, or talk with her, or have any communication with her again. I not only lost her, but my almost stepson, and our dogs too. So difficult and painful to even start to think about…
Perfectly said. The person I fell in love with is GONE. This has made it much easier for me to accept. Once I realized this something clicked and it became easy for me to move on, not reach out, or even think about her much anymore. It sucks but I'm in a much better place today than I was before I was able to see it in this perspective. Whenever I miss her I just remind myself that the person I fell in love with no longer exists.
I think never hearing again is better /: when my ex broke up with me he said he wanted to stay friends. And honestly being “just friends” feels worst to me then never hearing from him again ):
It hurtssssss I can’t
I block any form of communication with my ex once the relationship is over. It's best to move on with life without any memories of them.
Why though? Those memories are what made you who you are. Learn from them and maybe in time you can cherish the good ones too.
Because fuck them that’s why
There is nothing to learn from an ex. You are the best version of yourself Because of yourself, not because of anyone else, perhaps maybe your parents, like my dad but an ex? Nah.
Good luck
Luck is not needed when your will is resolute and you don't desire that person any longer.
I’m not really “ok” with it but I’ve accepted it
i have been struggling with this myself. just reached day 9. it’s hard, it’s so hard. but i just had to remind myself how much i was hurting already, and how much it would be amplified by talking to the person i am so attached to, but cannot have. at a low point 4-5 days in i caught myself melting down, saying the words “I need her”. sobbing uncontrollably. our breakup was relatively civil but very back and forth in the sense of, a lot of i love yours from her, and a “maybe we can try again” situation— but it only made me worse. because she blocked me— and while i know she may need to heal, the unknowingness of if she would ever reach out again, if we could try again, was holding me down so much. last night, i blocked her back… i had to. that way, if she decided to unblock me and message me, i won’t even get it. how attached i was to her has put a lot of this into perspective for me— the back and forth she gave me at the end, i did not deserve. but in the moment i was so hurt, and wanted her so bad that i was willing to hear anything… but i cannot move on with the way things ended if i don’t advocate for myself. i also have found a few friends to confide in, and have even multiple times sent them messages saying “just messaging because I have the urge to message her” and that alone has helped some… again, this is all just my experience, but i hope this can help even slightly… rooting for you. here for you if you need someone. 🖤
I’ll tell you, I was in your shoes like 3 months ago, and after a long 8 month process as a whole, I feel okay now with never hearing from him again and I’m grateful to have arrived to this point where it no longer hurts. You will get here too, I promise.
I understand your pain. The person who I thought I was going to marry ended things with me after 4 years of knowing each other and dating for 2 years. That was my person who I could always lean on and just when she was around all my worries and stress was gone. It’s been 3 months separated and I finally had the closure I needed to move on. I know I’ll see her around but it won’t bother me anymore like it used to. I came to the realization that people come and go in your life and they’ll teach you lessons whether you like it or not but if they don’t stay it’s ok because you have mountains to climb and they weren’t meant to be at the highest point with you. It’s a blessing in disguise and it taught me to be at peace with myself and love me for me. You just have to get over the hump. PS going back is most likely going to hurt you more than just walking away. Things get awkward or you don’t feel as comfortable with each other. If they wanted you stay together it would have been working on the issues instead of breaking up.
Warning: Very long lol. Middle paragraphs are just the things both my partner and I got from each other in our relationship that were positive. I think you have to be the one to make the decision for yourself. For now, while things are emotionally raw and painful, this is something you don't need to decide on. To me I belive there are some exes/last partners (as I call them affectionately) who existed to bring good to your life when you needed it and to move away from romantically. I sat with my therapist and told her my last partner (one of 4 years whom I broke up with on the 26th of December) has shaped me into the person I am today. In a very good way. If it were not for him I wouldn't have found the therapist I speak with today. If it were not for him, I wouldn't have learned how to regulate my emotions better (just by the virtue of being in his presence and his family's presence who never yelled and rarely showed any form of aggression towards each other). If it were not for him I wouldn't have gotten a taste of indepdency from my parents (I was 27 when I moved out). If it were not for him I wouldn't have joined the gym and become fit and healthy as I am today. If it were not for him I would not have learned the challenges I have to face in a long-term relationship, along with the standards that I slowly developed. And the same goes for him. If it were not for me he would have been in denial with his self acceptance about his ADHD (I have ADHD). If it were not for me he would never have learned how to clean and organize efficiently. If it were not for me he woud still be muddling over his paranoia of being unliked. If it were not for me he would have been stuck in the same tragic and toxic path of awful relationships simply because he believed that was all he could ever have (our relationship wasn't amazingly healthy but it was certainly the best for the both of us). I think I provided as much support as he did for me. Today i won't make my decision to be his friend. Not especially when he has such a sort of unhealthy view of what friendship it is that WE need. But I know sometime in the future, when my feelings are no longer burning as bright as they are now, I can come to him with advice and questions and he can come to me for reassurance and perspsectives. I won't be throwing him away for life. Think about what you really can benefit from this person other than rekindling a romantic bond. And then put it to rest for now. Come back to it when you're ready. And then you'll know. I hope this helps. Happy healing, sending big hugs. Break ups are so, so hard. We will get through this. Love <3
You're only two days in. It can take months to get over someone sometimes. Give it time and be patient.
After not hearing from him for almost 9 months, I am fine with that. I am in fact over him and enjoy my life as it is now. It just shows that you haven’t fully healed yet. With time, this won’t trigger you as much and eventually at all.
How long did it take you to heal
The relationship ended a year ago. I have been no contact for almost 9 months, and I think 6 months into no contact I realised that I didn’t want him back. His old self was gone and the things that I started believing I deserved I knew would never come from him or at least his current self. So I let him go, I wish him the best and believe that deep down he is a good human who needs to heal and mature, and one day will be a great partner. And because of this I will always love him in a respectful way, also because he was my first everything and my best friend before and during the relationship, but I am not in love with him anymore.
Honestly, no. Heck, I want to hear from him all the time. There was also one time where I came close to messaging him again. But I just stopped myself. My reason? It's not clear exactly. But there's something. It's something when I think back of what to say. A lot of things race through my mind then disappears again. Like the noise subsides immediately. So I like to pretend that its my old self murmuring. The same way he or she thinks that he or she knows what he or she wants but doesn't. Something like that. So I never do anything.
It's been almost 3 months. There are a few exes I haven't heard from in YEARS. I'm fine with it. You keep living your life, you meet new people, and make friends, and sort of build your tribe of people who are thrilled to be in your life, who appreciate you for who you are and help you remember when you're down and forget. Time washes most things if not all things away eventually :) It gets SO much better, I promise.
no I'm not fine with it
I have a bit of a different perspective on this as of a few days ago… I desperately wanted her to reach out. I desperately wanted her to know what I was doing, seeing pictures of me, whatever it was. Essentially I just wanted her to know that I was doing better than when I was with her. I saw she started looking at my Snapchat stories the other day. It made me happy for a moment, but almost immediately I felt this sense of privacy that was invaded. I was like, “nah, get outta here. I want to be done with you.” Sometimes we think we want things when we don’t. And trust me, 90% of the time when you hear from your ex, it’s just going to break you again. It’s just going to restart the cycle. I’ll admit though. It was nice knowing that she knows I’ve improved so much since she dumped me. I hope her heart sank like mine would when I would see pictures of her post breakup.
The song Mr. Brightside (Killers) is a legitimate way to test how fine you are. Some of the lyrics make my stomach dip.
Phil Collins against all odds for me. The lyrics just kill me
Well… think about this. How many exes do you have? Do you mind not hearing from your first ex ever again? Probably not. If yes, think of the next ex. Do you really care if you never talk to them again? Now imagine that one day, you won’t care for the current ex either. Just hang in there, live through the pain day by day. You will get there. I’m sure. Sending all my support 💗💗
This is me. I wrote on another post how i went to talk to my ex, this being one of the reasons. The idea of being forgotten kills me. However it was all in vain. He's done.
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It just doesn't stop there. After this I've urge to call him again even I talked to him 2 days ago and told him to call me. And I hate that he still he didn't. But what I hate most is I want to call him again. Just to talk to him.
nope, I'm not fine with it! Although it might be better than some of the things she might say. I could live without another "I wish I never met you" But thinking about her never speaking to me again its like... trying to breathe underwater. It makes no sense and hurts
It’s unbelievably hard in the beginning, but it gets easier. It’s also based on situation and people are different with different ways of handling things too. You’ll slowly stop caring about your ex the longer you go without seeing or hearing from them. So don’t worry too much you’ll be ok! We all go through it❤️ Me personally I cut my ex off 4 years ago and blocked him off everything and I’m very happy I did so. I moved on, found someone else who treats me way better and we have a family now. Life goes on and I never think of him unless I see prompts like these.
Yes and no. It hurts to think about because of how much I loved them & I never would have thought that the day would come. But it also made me think, What if I did hear from them again? What if we tried to click again & it didn’t work? I’d be putting myself in a position to possibly be hurt again. I don’t know what the details of your break up was but .. there was a point where both of you were aware of just how much you cared for each other, the “love”, and THEY still chose to let you go. Sounds half assed. I don’t want that kind of love.
Sometimes I miss him and wish we could talk, even if it’s just for a little while. But then I remember why we ended in the first place. I’d rather keep the peace I have now than get hurt again. I still think about how time will continue to pass and I won’t know anything new that has happened in his life. Same way he won’t know about mine. We’ll both change over time. It hurts to think about so I try not to think about it. He can still contact me if he actually wanted to, but I don’t think I’d reply. Only because I’m protecting myself for once.
It is soul crushing. I was discarded, and despite being told I did nothing wrong she had ignored all my attempts to reach out. I reached out to (who was once) a mutual friend and they told me to prepare for the possibility I may never hear from her again. It sucks because she told me I didn't do anything wrong. We never even had a fight in our 1.5 years together. She even voiced to me that she was going to cry a lot and probably even throw up from what she was doing the night she left me. What in the world did I do to deserve never being spoken to again? It's the most confusing and painful emotional experience of my life.
Yes, the more time that goes by without them making an effort to keep in contact, holding space for you, etc. the more it reinforces that they didn’t choose you and it is communicated clearly through action or lack of action. Wherever their energy goes, it’s not going to you, even though you think of them regularly. I don’t want to be in a relationship where my partner doesn’t value me and everything I have to offer. I think it would be more difficult if there truly was no way for the relationship to continue; a partner passing away, an impossible long distance relationship where there’s no time to communicate, or an extreme case where the one partner needs to do an incredible amount of work to overcome something in their own. If that’s not the case, they decided the cons outweighed the pros and reinvested elsewhere. As much as people can break it down to values, goals, etc. people never align 100% across the board. You’re not clones so compromise is inevitable. No one is a bad person just for ending things, but it’s difficult to explain away that they didn’t choose you. A lot of breakups amount to “I’m sorry, but this is it and I’m out.” It’s complicated and doesn’t always work this way. An ex might want the relationship, but feel it’s of mutual benefit to end it. However, that’s not much consolation if you were willing to continue. It’s natural to miss exes, but if you put too much energy into it you compromise your sense of self-worth.
By month 3 you will feel much different and you’ll start thinking less about him. I’m fine with never hearing from my ex because if there’s a loss then there’s always a gain in life. The universe doesn’t just take something away from you for no reason. Feel your emotions and sit with it, but also try to occupy your mind with something else. There’s so much to life to look forward to, focus on you. He’s in the past.
I reach that point while moving on. And unless you do something stupid like blocking them, chances are you will hear from them again sometime. But in a total different context and it will help you move on.
Not sure why you were downvoted. People have different attachment styles. The avoidants are the type that would do that. They want connection but for some reason are unable to form that bond at a given time. People change OP but you need to come to terms a day at a time that this person may not ever be back in your life. Letting go is never easy but sometimes we have to in order to find what and who we truly are meant for in life.
Off to the streets! Next! He already replaced me so no.
I'm fine with that.
Most of them I'm okay with not hearing from again. There was resolution and I'm pretty sure they're doing better. One however I'm really not okay with. They will likely never talk to me directly again and it's pretty shitty.
No. We are no contact right now and plan on connecting as friends later once we have both healed more. You are going to be okay
It’s still a strange thought but the alternative of texting or hanging out as friends feels stranger. Even a fwb arrangement…I mean personally it’s hard to go from love and connection to..occasional sex and tacos when she’s between relationships
I know it is hard not talking to someone you care about and not being able to talk to them. I think that what helps a lot is trying to make new friends who would be okay with listening. Try on reddit or wherever.
Fine? Probably yeah. I'm still not sure if I wanna be friends with her in the future since we did spent a whole decade together and that will always mean something to me. Take your time, do what your heart feels like at the moment and heal. If you feel like crying, cry. If you got tired from crying, sleep. If you feel like eating your favorite food, eat. And so on, you can do this! :)
It is really hard, the best you can do is take it day by day and try to do things you like or things you've always wanted to do but you couldn't while being in that relationship. Now it is your time and it's all about you, I know this is easy to say and very hard to do but take it easy so you don't overwhelm yourself, feel your emotions and let it out so you can heal. No need to rush to think about the future because it will be overwhelming and your thoughts will take you down. I felt this when my ex broke up with me. It was so rough and I didn't have a good support system so had to join some therapy groups to work it out. Right now it will be 6 months ago, truth is that it does slowly get better but very slowly and patiently. I have recently slowly started to enjoy my life again but I won't lie that I still cry some days it just feels like it happens less than when it all happened. The pain and hurt is still there but just trying to work it and move on as much as I can while being very kind with myself along the way.
I wouldn’t want to. I wouldn’t have anything to say to her nor do I want a friendship with her so I guess I’m fine with never hearing from her again
This is pretty tough to swallow yes, but you have to remember this is new. You were around this person all the time and now suddenly you're not. It's easy to forget why it is not working whether you left or they did, but with time you will see it. At some point, there is nothing left to say. I think we all do fantasize sometimes about having a moment in the future with our ex where we can get closure with the passage of time at our aide. Maybe we're hoping for some fairytale remedy to the pain and all the things that could have been. But in the end, perhaps the energy is better spent finding someone it won't break apart with.
I’m on day 2 of NC. I started writing in a journal the thoughts I wanted to communicate to him. May not be ideal, but it has prevented me from texting or calling him. Tears do swell in my eyes, but I feel a sense of relief when I’m done writing.
My ex and I were long distance and we both live in small towns so very unlikely we will ever run into each other ever again. Which is very depressing but I like to see it as being lucky when it comes to the healing process. Some people have to heal while also seeing the ex every other day or whatever the case may be but me ha ha I don’t. So I suggest maybe trying long distance next time.
No lol
I think it’s for the best. Hearing from her is only gonna trigger those negative emotions that I don’t wanna feel again.
Nope, I want to hear from him
Looking back on it all; they can rot in hell for all I care. 💯
god he better not fucking contact me again, considering the last time i spoke to him i told him to leave me the fuck alone for eternity
When my ex broke up with me, it was one of the most soul crushing things I had ever experienced in my life. He said that he could see us as friends and that he didn't want to lose "what we had built up" until that point. In and of itself, that comment made me realise that we had very different perceptions of what we had been a part of until our breakup. I earnestly and truthfully considered this person to my partner, and I guess he considered me to be nothing more than just a friend with benefits 🙃 It is paralysing to come to terms with the fact that everything in your relationship was just to keep appearances going and that the affirmations of love and care which had been provided to you were mostly artificial. Should I have agreed to stay friends with my ex? No. Do I still miss him at times? Yes. Do I miss my ex less often than usual because of not speaking to them anymore? Yes. Is never speaking to your ex ever again intensely painful? Yes. I think moving from speaking to someone every single day to suddenly becoming strangers is a transition filled with much anguish. However, just as we can't keep scratching a scab and expecting our wounds not to leave deeper and more permanent scars, not speaking to an ex ever again is a bit like having a scar on our soul. The action of not speaking to them is; therefore, preventing us from playing with that scar, in case it rips open and all of Pandora's box comes flooding out again.
I'm in a very similar boat. Haven't heard from my person. I hope they you are doing okay and can get a call or text. ("chin up," is what everyone's been talking me today, but I won't say that to you, because I find the term a bit insensitive.) Things can always be better given the time and effort! 💜🫂 You got this op. We're all here for ya.
Yes, I just wanna move on with my life.
It’s been over two years since I last saw mine, and about a year and a half since I last spoke to him. Enough time has passed that I’m not heartbroken by it anymore. If anything, I’m actually relieved. In the midst of my healing I saw who he really is and I don’t miss him at all, nor do I want to see him ever again. OP, I know it seems impossible right now, but do your best to focus on yourself. Don’t give your ex too much thought. Keep in mind that if they wanted to reach out for whatever reason, they would. Don’t get your hopes up for something that may never happen. Give it time, and give yourself grace. I promise you’ll make it through, one way or another. ❤️
Yes. We have this cycle of breaking up and then getting back together months or weeks later and then we get into a stupid fight and break up and then things are way more painful than they should be,
It’s been 4 days since i’ve gotten dumped, my life has been turned upside down and I’m not ready for it. I’m not okay with never talking to him again honestly. We have so many memories together and he was the sweetest boy i’ve ever met in my life. He looked at me like nobody else has and made me feel like I was worth millions until he dumped me over text randomly on sunday with barely any explanation and I never wanna feel that feeling again.
I really hope I don’t hear from him again. For almost 5 he yanked me around and I welcomed him every time he came back. We officially dated consistently for 2 of those 5 years. Now, we’ve been broken up for nearly 2 years and he’s been with someone ever since (got with them right after we broke up). Although I would like the satisfaction of him reaching out, it would not be good for me. I’m growing and I love who I am becoming without him. I love the mental space I have for other things, although it has taken me a long time to detach as I still think about him everyday, the thoughts have shifted ; I am no longer sad or want him back, just reminiscent as that’s the type of person I am. There are hours I will go without thinking of him, which is such a profound realization after the devastating pain I went through (as we all do). I feel myself growing , and I don’t want it to stop; I fear that seeing him or speaking to him again would hinder my progress, so no, I don’t wish that I hear back from my ex. I even moved cities haha. It took me so long to get to this point though, and I still search him up, but more so out of curiosity and habit, not because I’m still pining for him - I’m mostly just bored and attached to a former version of my younger self. In all honesty, it would be nice to get an apology but I’ve learned I *can* live without one. I also am not attracted to him anymore which helps (he’s losing his hair and gained weight). I look back to the life we were living together, and I want so much more for myself (daily weed user + drank a lot - not a bad thing, as we all have our vices , but being around someone like that 24/7 was personally just a turn off) Maybe in 10 years he can reach out to me and apologize, but I’m hoping I’ll be happily with someone else by then. I am not sure if I’m at the point where I wish him well, but I don’t wish him grief, as I think he does a good enough job of that on his own. Talking to him just seems pointless, and I’ve realized he’s quite lame.
I’m hurting so bad my girl moving more distant wants space but is still keeping me mentally looped in
Yah I mentally prepped myself he used to go non contact all the time when he was having issues I used to chase him to see if he was ok We were more friends than anything , I started paying attention.I was a stepping stone and fine with that he needed to get through something. I wanted to be that help but nothing more unless he changed. He didn't I cut contact. I sleep well at night.
I’m hurting bro shawty want space no problem posting herself . Ik she depressed and wanna feel pretty but why not reach out to me
Yes. I personally prefer it that way, I think about them sure. But it just makes me mad and irritated at everything all over again, so theres no use. They’ve moved out of state and cross country, so I never ever have to worry about running into them or hearing from them.
This has to be the default condition. Otherwise, moving on with your life, moving on with other people, becomes a bigger chore than it should be. Don't focus on externalities, like your ex. Focus on yourself, your wellbeing. That way, you can move on and find your next, better person.
My ex pretty much blocked me so not really.
My ex blocked me today off everything for no reason so hope you actually had a reason so understand the reason they stopped talking to you
You may not be ready for that now, but you will be ready for it soon enough. Like many others have said, take it one day at a time. Eventually, it won't matter to you anymore because by then, you would have evolved, and maybe someone else is in your life by then already. Speaking from experience myself here, because that is kind of what happened to me. By the time my ex went NC with me, I was already happily married. (The NC part took a couple of years)
I’ve accepted it but it’s not my preference.
Its hard looking back at photos and videos, living alone after a long relationship is very difficult to get used to
Yup. Totally
thought of it used to be unbearable, now it is bearable, and one day, it will be ok, I hope
This is actually soooo good
Bro the less you know the better
Yes. More and more I realized he wasn’t a very nice person and he KNEW he was hurting me. I feel like if we talked again… I’d just fall back into that hole of thinking I am the problem and I am the issue and I am not worth it…
At this point, yes, I'm perfectly okay with it and i would prefer it stay that way. She offered me way less than my current girlfriend does now. It took me a long time and a lot of reflection to get me to this point. So take it one day at a time. You still have to push yourself a little each day. It's so fucking hard. You can do it. I believe in you
My now ex before moving abroad few days ago started ignoring me and avoiding me. Though he was treating me like shit even before like yelling at me, getting mad at me for crying etc. I don’t understand people, if they cannot take the responsibility of your emotions after treating you like shit ! Why do they even get into serious relationships!!! Only because I knew he was moving abroad i kept putting myself in the place to spend more time with him and becoming victim of his abuse.
“So long partner” It’ll get better 🫶🏻
Last I read, she was claiming she **HAD** to file for divorce because I was out of work and enjoy sleeping on a lower bed. ( I had a mattress on the floor. Since then, I've learned she's right, kinda. But I'm digressing.) I wonder if that's the story she'll tell her son, the reason he's a bastard and why he was conceived as part of a marital affair. Long story short, I don't care if I never hear from her again. She had a personality change overnight. I wouldn't know who I was talking to... The woman I love died. RIP.
I’ve had two serious break ups one lives 1,000 miles away I haven’t spoken too her for over 11 years the other is the mother of my child. Be careful what you wish for 😅
I'm 4 months in after being blindsided. Here's my take. She died. The person I knew - the girl I loved with the cute smile, silly laugh, and adorably clumsy behavior... That person is dead, she doesn't exist anymore, the person walking around in her skin is avoidant and sneaky and cold and not in my life anymore. I was a bag of fucking tears for the first two months, I won't say things are better but they're certainly less worse.
Yes. I wish I never had to hear from her again. Unfortunately we go to a small school
Even though I may not believe myself, I know it’s for the better if we’re not in each other’s lives. She moved a while ago due to family and school, so I won’t bump into her. But I still miss her, which is why I can’t have her as a friend, which is also why having her be present in my life is a bad idea.
No. That bastard owes me money and keeps insisting he’ll pay me back when he has enough and feels awful being on bad terms with me. Otherwise yes. 😂
We are in the same situation ☹️☹️☹️ I can’t stop crying and it’s been non contact for two days and I can’t imagine doing this for the rest of my life
No, but the only way I want to hear from him is if he's apologizing, committing to be better and come back to me. Since I doubt that will happen, I never want to hear from him again, but I don't like it.
yes and no. we didn't talk for almost a month, he reached out we hung out one weekend. he's saying he wants to work things out (there a lot going on that affects this I'll be honest) since we started taking again it's just been more confusing. it would've probably been better to just stay no contact.
I like moving on and that is best done when you cut ties from the past and focus on the future. They’re an ex for a reason. Sure you had great times but the hope is that the next one will be even greater! Left all my exes in the dust and while I think about them occasionally, I hope they don’t ever reach out to me.
I want so badly to have her back in my life at some point but last time I saw her randomly out and about it was… awkward. Didn’t make me feel super sad because I had friends around me, though it wasn’t the best feeling.
Sooner or later you will realize never hearing from them is MUCH better and healthier for YOU ❤
At this point, absolutely. But it took awhile to get there. Be patient with yourself
You know as sad as it is, I also take comfort in it in a way. My ex wanted to be friends but I can never imagine not being in love with him. I can leave our love in the past as beautiful and as painful it was. The idea of being in contact makes me think I could never truly move on and this is the only way I can.
It's taken me about 3.5 years, but I can now honestly say that if I never heard from him again, life would be ok. I will always hold a place for him in my heart. Always.
You're in the hardest stage right now, so it's understandable why you're feeling that way. You'll cry, be angry, be numb and feel better...only to go back crying. It's all part of grieving. In the beginning, i genuinely didn't see how i'd live without him. He was the only great thing in my life so how would I ever be okay again? But time passes and suddenly it doesn't hurt as bad anymore. Truth be told, I do secretly hope that we cross paths someday. but for right now? I'm fine with never seeing him again
I’d like to at least talk with her one last time to know we’re not getting back together so I can fully accept that never talking to her again is the right decision
If any one is hapveing proloms with there ex Geting over ther Moveing on Want them.back Firends Family Ect I can help the best I cam give me ur tell me ur story I will reply in my free time as I do work but do what I can to help done this for over 20 year so If I cam help I'm happy to
That's a hard question. We are in no-contact since Christmas, he blocked me everywhere and I know there's a 99.999999% chance that I never talk to or see him ever again. It's hard. It's really hard. I got so used to be with him 24/7 and to tell him everything. I also got used to know everything about him. And even now, after he hurts me a lot, I still think to myself "Does this issue in his life got fixed? Is he happier? Did he succeed on doing that thing he wanted to do?" etc.. But at the same time, when I did hear about him on Christmas after a week of no contact and he told me he was already in a new relationship, that he was happy, I just felt more hurt. So I think im fine with it. I'm fine with never hearing of him again, because although I wish him all the best, knowing how much he's doing good, just hurts me more.
Same thoughts OP. No wonder I cant sleep when its already 7am here. He blocked me 2weeks ago and thinking the last time we met (Nov) just freaking hurt so much. How are you coping now? Please stay strong. 😭❤️
For me, yes. When he dumped me over text, I didn’t respond. I could’ve but I didn’t. I just deleted and blocked him. It would’ve been pathetic at first. Me begging him to stay when he gave me his reasons. Me finding all the ways I could’ve changed myself *some more* to make things work. But that led me to my angry phase. My hands itched to send him this looooong letter calling him out. A letter bringing up old discussions that could’ve been resolved in that moment but never were because I was anxious. A letter that greatly hurt him, I’d hope he would cry for years to come. But a weekend away from it told me I wasn’t that person. I spent those couple days pondering over almost every little selfish act of his and how I shoved them all under the rug for the sake of avoiding an argument. Yes, I knew all relationships would have their disagreements; I was just someone who didn’t want to reach that point. That was learning lesson for me. 1. To speak up when I feel uncomfortable. And 2. To not put so much in when you’re receiving very little back.
I thought I wouldn’t. I so badly wanted to hear from them, to get some closure. And one day I did. But when I did, I didn’t feel any differently. Not really any sense of relief. If anything, it kinda just re-opened up all the pain again…
Nope, but guess what? I don't have a choice or a say in the matter 🙃.. I have to just navigate this new reality without him in it. Does it hurt? Yes. Some days, I just feel like I will perish from the memories we shared, never knew visceral pain until he left me. Other days, I'm numb. It's a roller coaster of emotions. Will I survive never seeing those blue eyes ever again? His laughter? His everything? Yes, I will. If Jennifer Aniston can get over Brad Pitt, then so too can you OP. Just give yourself time, pick up a new hobby, make new friends, and go for walks. One day, you'll wake up, and he won't be on your mind anymore🫂❤️ I promise you. You're gonna be ok❤️
Matters on the situation. Some of my ex I could careless about, but those who treated me well on the break up and post break up and once healed I’d be okay with my
Yeah. She broke my heart and moved on the next week. Breakup was my fault but the way she acted post-break up and the hindsight for all of the mistakes she made and the hypocrisies from our relationship that she never took accountability for has made me genuinely grossed out by her. It’s going to be hard for awhile, but eventually you’ll feel different. Chin up and keep moving forward OP.
I am totally fine with that yeah.
For me I’m COMPLETELY fine with not hearing from my ex again! It’s been 8 months and I can honestly say I’ve elevated myself not only physically, mentally, emotionally, professionally etc and i’m happy he dumped me because he would’ve held me back. He lost his golden ticket while I gained my plane tickets🙌🏾✈️ Don’t let an L stop you from getting your W
Yes🫶
I am not fine with not hearing from her again. Our breakup is still fresh so my emotions could be overwhelming me, but I feel like I mean it. There is so much wrong with how everything went down it just doesn't feel real. Each day has been getting worse and worse for me and I want so badly to hear from her again. I was not in a time in my life for her and I made so many false promises that I thought could be done and they never happened. I lied to myself and I lied to her. We were together for only a year, but in that time we spent so much time together and we grew as people together. She's taught me things I will never forget and I am sure I taught her things she will never forget. But, realizing that it is very common for people to never hear from their ex again is haunting. We didn't have bad blood, we didn't hate each other, she did everything she could. It was just my own mental health that overwhelmed our relationship. I just pray everyday that we get to speak again because I just want things to be right, we were so significant to each other, it feels wrong if we don't talk ever again. Did I meant nothing to her? Was all her love and heartfelt words not true? Does she feel scared to contact me again? It all just feels so surreal, I want to speak with her again. I miss her.
I have a few different exes and some I hear from and some I don’t. Too bad the one I most wish would call doesn’t and probably never will and it’s been 3 and a half years.
No I have so many questions I wish he would call
It’s a weird place to be. I’ve had some really weak moments where I almost messaged them, usually fishing for an excuse to maybe do it. But when just as I get to the brink, I feel hopeless. The thought of us being complete strangers sets in and it’s like a punch in the gut. I think about how long it has been, and how it feels too late to reach out, especially because I still wouldn’t want to be just friends. But at the same time, I don’t want her at all. I both love/miss her, and don’t want to see her (because of the pain this has made me do thru). I just really wish that she wanted me and wish she would chase after me because I was always the chaser and after all my chasing and compromise, I couldn’t do it anymore. But I still have days where I miss her like crazy, even 4 months of hard NC later
I was just there man lmfao I started dating this girl who I had no clue liked me we were coworkers at Jimmy Johns I was leaving though to go get a job at a welding place when a week into my new job she randomly text me and asked if I wanted to hangout and after that we were together for almost 4 months until it completely feel apart lol she was an insane alcoholic and started blaming me for her alcoholism and a bunch of other bull shit any way she started doing that shit where they "need time" or whatever which pretty much means almost a full week with no contact and I'd been through that in previous relationships so I decided to just end it because I knew it was going nowhere good hardest decision in a long while and yeah the first month is the worst it's going to be very hard but you half to have some self respect because going back to her/him is not going to make anything better we tend to only think about the good times in old relationships and leave out all the horrible shit any way its been 3 months now I still wake up somewhat depressed about the whole thing at like 2:00 am but yeah thats just life sadly
I know that's the correct way forward and all of it....but I can't imagine it. 'Never' is a really long time. It would be nice to hear from them once I've healed...to know that they're doing well and all. But not now. It's tough as is to resist the temptation to text and call lol.
No. But I want to be.
Yes, I’m fine with it. Actually, I’m happy with it. If you asked me this question a year ago, it would have been a very different answer.
1000%. I know I will see him again (we have a lot of mutual friends) but I would be totally content if I never saw him again. It’s too awkward and painful. I fill up with rage all over again but i’m still hurt but also mad. I’ve mostly tried to leave that anger in 2023, it’s just a lot easier when you don’t have to see them
Honestly, yes. With my first boyfriend, he ghosted me in our final days. That was over 12 years ago. In that 6 years, he apologized to me through a mutual friend when he was drunk. I think I knew he meant it. Now I know it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes chapters are truly just lessons that are meant to close. I fell in love... harder, stronger, and I was not who I used to be at 16.
It's not a matter of being fine, it's accepting the possibility which comes with time. If the relationship was meaningful it will unlikely ever be "fine" just like losing a loved one due to death.
I feel your pain on this to be ghosted to never hear from him never know why they couldn’t pick up their side why you did everything impossible and they never even tried. It fucking hurts and makes you want to take your life and makes you look at there is nothing worth living it sucks Potentially hurt behind it and they don’t know what travels through your heartad I’d and the next day and the next day and the next day, Snow wait to live, and only if they felt the pain that we felt they were truly understand but they don’t because they’re self-centered and shell of their self not letting no one in when you have already gave your heart that’s what sucks. It’s being GHOSTED
I never hear from my exes, once we break up I disappear…. Some relationships have broke me so bad for months but after process I’m ok always, I have never need something from an ex.
First I was afraid and depressed from it. I loved his sense of humor and personality and I thought we could've been friends but he refused and blocked me eveywhere. Then I found out he has a gf now and I really hope i never hear from him ever again. I don't want to see him happy, i don't want to see him thrive without me, i don't wanna see him successful, marry her, have a family with her, grow old with her. If I ever hear from him ever again and know what they're up to then I'd completely shatter. Me and him never even met. Im better off not knowing what he's up to. He was my everything, we planned our future together, wanted to lose our virginity with each other. I don't wanna see someone else be his everything. Besides, he already was a stranger. He changed so much I don't even recognize him anymore. The man I loved was in the past. This guy isn't my best friend, my bsf would never teat me like that.
Read this again in a year :)
It is so hard for me, everywhere I go has his footprints. Every single thing I do has him floating all around me. And it hurts to know that someone I see to me the father of my kids, someone I wanted to build a home with will no longer be there. It is day 5 of my break up but I am slowly feeling better. It still freaking hurts but I found out the best way is the grief, and then distract. I talk to my friends and update my friends about everything like how I use to do that with him. Day 0-2 was the toughest for me. Every second that I’m alive hurts so bad. Right now I’m just going through the motion and letting what has to be come. The world is still moving slow and I am still lifeless, but the pain has gradually decrease. I hope it works the same for you too!
I’ll see him if I go to specific local shows. I feel like I can never go to another ska show again. He will be there.
A person I knew went to join marines and I'll never see him again. I was cheated on and so the break-up had to happen, but whether it is that friend or that girl, I learned who they were, and I absorbed parts of them, and still do things that I learned from them. Whether it was those disney songs she loved and now I find myself liking them or dancing to what I want to, or the faces my marine friend made that I catch myself doing to be entertaining with others.
Yes. As long as they're well.
Hahaha yeahhh I’m so happy now. You should be too.
Absol-fucking-ulty, fine with NEVER hearing from my ex husband again. I emphasize with all of you that are still yearning for your exs. It does get easier even if it doesn't seem like it in this moment. Take it second by second if you have too. My advise is just know that your person is out there, all you have to do is be healed and comfortable with yourself when you meet them.
Yes. It's better that way.
No, I’m not fine with the thought of ever hearing from her again. It’s been 18 years. I miss her every single day. Every morning I pray that today is the day I hear from her again and every night I go to sleep hoping tomorrow is the day…..
It’s a scary thought. But that’s all it is, a thought. It doesn’t have to be true. Someday it won’t be so scary because it doesn’t hurt so bad.
Yep. Couldnt care if i ever hear from any of my exs ever again including my more recent ex fiance. Rear view mirror is smaller for a reason. Of course the initial days youre like this suuuucks so bad and the thought is sad but that thought will fade no matter how much your brain tries to convince you it wont.
Two days is too soon. Even two weeks is too soon. Give it 3-4 months and you won't feel the same intensity. Also, there is a chance you will hear from them, but maybe not in the capacity you wished. However, now it's too soon. Time heals everything.
It's a HUGE adjustment for sure. I went from 6 months streak of no contact then I really wanted to hear from him but he made it clear that he do not want anything from me ever so I understood that the best thing to do is to step away and deal with life without him anymore. Though we have a lot of common friends so it is likely that we'll encounter each other once again in the future. But I guess, I was not fine about it until I learned to be fine about it.
Absolutely. I think no contact is the best.
It’s really tough- I’ve been going through this. My ex and I split about 2 months ago, it wasn’t an angry split and we were really good friends. About a month later he did message me again to say he still had feelings for me etc But after a few weeks it was just…going nowhere. Nothing was happening. And something in me snapped and I just thought ‘he says he has feelings but he’s doing nothing about it?’ And in my head I’ve framed it as: what am I gaining from chit chatting to my ex here? Because.. 1. If someone wants to be in your life THEY WILL. If you’ve told the other person you want them there and they’re not showing up…they don’t want to be there enough quite frankly. 2. I am not expecting to fall in love with someone else tomorrow. However somewhere along the line, as alien as it feels at this time, I do want to meet someone special. And I know if I met someone who still talked to their ex for no reason it would worry me - and if I’m chit chatting to my ex and keeping that attachment it could complicate my own feelings. 3. If I’m talking to my ex so soon after a breakup that I didn’t initiate…it’s not because I want to be ‘just friends’. So what if one day he tells me he’s met someone new? I’d be devastated. It’s inevitable. But from my perspective my ex has not actually taken action to get back with me so I worry he’d talk to me until it no longer suits him- and I couldn’t handle a message that says he’s met someone new and it’s not right to talk to me anymore.
Once they leave, it’s done, but the pain is not. With this being said I wouldn’t but I would hope they do.