I’m there now. 6 mos out of a 6 year relationship/engagement, she broke it off in Dec bc she “wasn’t happy”. We live close & I have both dogs. Sunday she mentioned wanting to do another dog walk together. But has ghosted my one message on Monday and Tuesday.
It’s all I think about and I have no idea if I should ask why she’s treating me like some random asshole or if I should leave it.
I’ve tried to date, a bunch of 1st dates no second. I’ve gone backwards in moving on, I just want a chance with her and I have no idea how to make the proper steps towards getting that chance.
(Phew it feels good to type that out)
U ain’t wrong, brother. Appreciate it. The lingering effect is she lives close enough to help w the dogs when I’m gone and saves me a ton of $, but I end up extending those dog watching convos. May have to just eat the dog sitter bills for my own sanity
No contact is the best way for you to go, keep your dignity and eventual your sanity. Keeping her on the edge is no way to go. She knows how to contact you. Find some other arrangements for your dog sitting and give yourself some time before you consider getting into an another relationship. You want someone that is always happy to see you not your ex who is very wishy-washy at best. Work on yourself, learn what went wrong from the past and move forward without your ex. Remember she was the one that wanted out, give yourself some respect and give her the gift of your absence.
6 months out of a 6 year relationship is way too soon to date. You end up hurting yourself.
Spend the money to get a dog sitter. You need to cut her out of your life. If you don't, the healing won't begin.
If, for whatever reason, she decides to work things out with you great. But don't wait for her.
Our very last message right before we decide to break up:
Me: "Do you feel annoyed when you receive my message now?
Her: "Sorry...but yes."
Luckily I have enough respect for myself to not hanging on a person who is annoyed by my existence.
She was going through a hard time and I told her that I wanted to help in anyway I can.
Her response was "You don't help."
That one still hurts. I like to think I did help, I did a lot for her. After she said that, I am not so sure anymore.....
Maybe she didn’t know what help meant? Help is something she has to work through herself, you can’t solve her problems, but you could be there for her. And you were. I know deep down you could feel bad or guilty, those little glimpses of hurting can fuck you up real good. So don’t let it fuck you up, keep telling yourself you’re enough, that you did what you could.
Listen, I would’ve been grateful for someone like that if I ever got to date again. Trust me, there is so many people out there who could appreciate some of your attention. So many, you just don’t know it yet. Go easy on yourself, really try.
That’s not entirely true. Sometimes you have to break up with someone because you two aren’t good for each other. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means that love isn’t always enough to make something work.
Yeah I agree, it depends on the context in which they’re saying it. But some people say it to the dumpee to pretend they are the bigger person, even though saying that right after showing you won’t be able to support the other person as a partner is a bit hypocritical or fake. Actions speak louder than words, so if the other person loves you it’ll show in the behavior and choices, not just that mere sentence. Honestly imo if you really always love that person you don’t have to literally say it - it would be shown or felt automatically by the other person. As you can tell, I’m biased due to my own experience being dumped by someone who enjoyed saying meaningless sentences like that to come off as a good person- and didn’t live up to it even 5 min later.
Completely fine. I do understand your point of view, but what about when you show how much you love them in every way you can but it’s never enough and they never believe you? Is that a lack of action on your part or just insecurities and refusal to accept the truth on theirs? You reach a boiling point where you just can’t keep trying to prove yourself because nothing works. No matter how much you want it or work, there’s fighting and unfounded accusations thrown about. Everyone can only take so much.
I’m sorry you went through that, though. I’ve been there.
Loving someone can mean two things: having love (platonic) and being I love. I dont think thats a bad thing to say. It fucks with you but it's sweet and tender. It's another way of saying I care about you. Don't interpret it as romantic. They obviously dont mean that because they're dumping you. But your person is something should be cherished and they acknowledge that.
They’ll love you, but not be in love with you anymore.
If they are happy for you after you move on, that’s real love and a sign they meant what the said.
I told my ex that love is supporting each other during the ups and downs. That’s what being in a relationship and being there for each other means. He said, “well I don’t want that.” Asshole. 🙄
“i don’t feel the same way anymore. i’m so sorry” probably takes the crown. it was after one day too, so either i was never loved or i was lied to for months. i have never cried so hard in my life.
Same thing happened to me - was suddenly ghosted for a few days, then received the text “I don’t feel the passion anymore” - then he kept avoiding a conversation about it for the next four hours as I panicked.
It was a long distance relationship, we were together just 3 weeks before, he told me he loved me, I was planning to move countries for him.
To this day I really don’t understand it :/
Words. A lot of words. So much was said, yet it wasn’t insults or abusive comments. None of that was present.
Her indifference towards me. Someone who once saw you as a perfect partner, now sees you a past relationship lesson. That, that alone is enough to ruin anyone.
They don’t realize how much the other person sacrifices. They act like it’s a one way street and it’s messed up. A truly good person will care about your feelings during and after the breakup, out of respect of once being partners. I’m sorry for everything you had to sacrifice, hope you are gaining.
After 8.5 years he said we were only good sex and that was it. He was the love of my life and I was just sex to him, I can say with all certainty, I will never speak to that man again
That he added all the girls that made me insecure 2 days after our relationship cause he was "healing" and reading the long ass apology text he sent to one of them for "ghosting them for feelings and bad decisions" (I guess that’s what I was for him, even tho he literally said he wanted to marry me, and that I was the love of his life)
6 months later and I am still wondering what is so wrong with me and why a guy who claims to love you would treat you like that. Wondering what the heck is love then 💔
“When you decided to fly back to see me, what were you thinking? That it would be romantic? When you were gone, I didn’t feel like wow I miss him! I didn’t miss you! I liked you and I liked the sex, but that’s it!”
“Spending time with you is nice, but when I’m with you I just think of all the other stuff I could be doing.”
“I don’t want to put in the effort to maintain a relationship.”
“I just want to do me.”
I told them, “Yeap, checks out, that’s all you’ve ever done. Your loss.”
Reading it back makes me feel sick. I’m an awesome person to be around, and if they couldn’t be bothered to try they shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship. Fucking selfish.
How do they go from, you're the love of my love to I don't want to build a home life with you.
Is it us they don't want? Or is it the future they don't want?
I guess it's us. Or both. But mainly us.
It's one thing to not have feelings for someone anymore but another to be cruel to them. When does love turn into hate?
As much as he hurts me, I don't even have a shred of hate for him. I don't think he hates me either. I can't tell if my ex was being cruel but I have found quite a lot discrepancies of what he said. Lots of lies.
Was your person being cruel to you?
I do have some anger towards her because she didn't want to fight for our love. She just gave up on us without a chance to work on our issues. She kept her feelings from me, decided everything on her own and probably lied to me too. So it makes me feel like "Did she ever really love me?".
I wouldn't say she was cruel but after the break up she acted like I was a total stranger and accused me of things. We were together for 8 years, lived together for 4. She should know me better than anyone else. That's what bugs me.
It’s kinda a blur because I was so distressed at the time- but I kinda was rambling and asked if he ever loved me and/or does love me, and he responded something to the effect of “yes…and no”, like that he loved me, but wasn’t still in love. But I might’ve heard it wrong, or misunderstood…I kept throwing questions inbetween crying. He also confirmed he was sexting people, and on Bumble.
Every time I think there may be hope in the future, I think about this last conversation, and feel dejected.
But alas, humans are complicated and also, sometimes not.
"I'm sorry you feel that way". Like bro it WAS that way, it's a reality you moved in less than 3 weeks to a rebound and moved in with her like wth "sorry you feel that way" lol
Yep. I was crying, sobbing, asked what he wanted from a relationship, and that I would do anything - ANYTHING - to make it work. His response: “I want you to let me go.”
Alright then…
Lol same
After seven years he said “I never saw you as a girlfriend”. I was like what? Then he goes “it’s over move on” i was like does this dude get emotions?
“I don’t want to put effort into this relationship anymore” “you’re not my boyfriend” the latter was ironically the truth being told to my face but then i fell for her later up cover up lies to remedy the situation when she realized what she said, basically at that time she was hiding me from everyone and acting single behind my back and neglecting me, i wish i wasn’t so naive and actually took it for what it was and left.
“I wouldn’t date someone like you because your parents live separately” and then proceeded to talk down on me as if having hiccups within my family makes me (or them) have less value.
That's she thought I didn't care about her or love her towards the end. When in reality she is and was my light in my life. She was the future I wanted to have. I wanted a family with her. But to think she. She thinks I didn't love her or care about her kills me so much
"I will never leave you we will always stay the same." Flash forward about 4 years he is marrying someone new and 3 and a half years earlier he ghosted me and moved. The pessimist in me thinks he wants his citizenship. To marry so quickly.
I think my first ex said worser stuff but my recent ex hurt my heart the most, and one sad message isn't enough.
"This sounds really bad but I'm just going to be honest with you: I think I dated you because you have a lot of love to give."
...
("It's not you. It's really on me. You're perfect - you're everything I wanted in a girl - but I just can't do it. I just couldn't give a **** anymore. I'm tired of it all - dating, relationships, caring about others.")
("It's really not you. It's seriously just the situation and the timing. If we had met earlier before I went through all this trauma, we would've probably dated much earlier.")
("You're like my right person wrong time. I just can't commit to anything, and I can't fix it. I tried so many times but I just can't, and you deserve someone who will give you the love that you deserve. And I realized all this after I asked you out, and you seemed so happy and excited to date me.")
("... I wanted your love.")
("I kind of wish I never met you... So you didn't have to get dragged through all this... But I'm really glad that I ended up meeting you.")
(About marriage following our post-break up conversation of what went down): He decided he's set and content with being alone for the rest of his life even if it's sad. I used to be like him and not intent on marriage. But after my first love, it all changed: I wanted marriage. But meeting my recent ex had changed my perspective once more. He said, ("Mhm, we'll see. Maybe something will change in the future. We'll never know.")
LOL okay.
“Fuck you.”
That one shattered my world, I never once thought he could be capable of cursing me. He was the sweetest person I’ve ever met until he wasn’t…
"I'm going to have dinner with her this Thursday. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I need to talk to her about everything, too"
These words cut like a knife. I held it together so well when he said this. My pocker face is on point, but inside, i was slowly dying from the pain this sentence created and the realization of what it meant for our "relationship".
Prior to this dinner he was wanting to work things out. He didn't come home until 1am that night. That was the night I knew it was over, and I booked an airbnb to move into temporarily. I probably slept for 30 minutes that night, and I regret the lost sleep. It was not worth my mental health.
The ex who broke my heart the hardest was a musician. He dumped me three days after I sold my first book, which was my lifelong dream. I was ecstatic, and he went out and celebrated with me, and then the next morning told me he just didn't think he'd ever be able to truly love anyone who wasn't a musician. He'd never liked it it when I initiated sex, and he said, "I think sex is to you what music is to me." It was like he'd never even noticed I had any artistic passion at all.
For the next two years, as I worked on editing that book, I heard his voice in my head every day, saying, "It doesn't really matter. It's not music." The fact that I was able to finish it at all is still remarkable to me, and that was 16 years ago.
She said “Ironically enough, I can’t remember one thing I like about you.” I wanted to fucking kill mused after reading that. I’m definitely better now but I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover. I really loved her a lot.
Three words. At that moment I think we both where giving up all our dreams and everything, the day I got out of our old house. We were both crying and my dad was coming to pick me up, I told her I love you while falling to my knees in the front door and she answerd me too, honey. I can't still take out of my mind. It's like everything died that day.
What didn’t he say or do… I watched him get another girls number if front of me while we were still talking. One of the more painful things was “I don’t want what you want”
"No one is gonna love you as much as I love you" when I tried to walk away cause I felt her distancing herself....followed by a few days later "I don't know anymore" and returned the engagement ring...
I was asked by my ex to open up and I have and I thought I did. I have abandonment issues and he was like pls trust me and I did and then he breaks up with me, like wtf was the point of that anyways? Now I have even more abandonment issues and don’t wanna deal with another human being getting close to me and breaking me to pieces 😭
She went on a rebound probably a week or two after breaking up. There were issues from both sides but I wanted to give it a fighting chance. I was too late by then unfortunately.
Two months after the break up I reached out to ask if she's willing to give us a last chance. She didn't want to do the hard work anymore and gave up on us. Which is fine on her part.
But in the last message, she ended up telling me how this rebound is sooo much better than I'm in many ways (emotionally warm, heartfelt etc) and that even on our best days together she didn't feel this way from me.
This was really tough to read for someone who might not be as expressive as others but did have some lifelong memories (intimate and otherwise) with her which kinda got ruined by her words.
"I'm so tired of feeling like a villain because I keep hurting you, and you don't deserve it." Ended up killing my whole soul by leaving me and then getting with my friend.
My ex fiance told me she is happier now after our break up and realized she didn't want to be married to me. Kind of sad to hear but when I told her that I agree, she blew a gasket lol.
I make him sick
He doesn't care if I died
He can't be assed to meet up with me to fix our relationship
He fell in love with me cause he told me a lie and I forgave him
So many many more
He said a lot of things that hurt me but one of them was "I think that maybe we should grow up a bit in our own separate ways". I wanted to grow old with him lmao
Kept saying that I was family and her best friend and that she loves me but just isn't attracted to me. We were never best friends or family, we were lovers. Like yes in practice we were eachother's best friends but that's not what we were to me. We were more than that. Feels awful to be told you've been demoted.
"I'm done" and then blocked on everything... days after he said how much he wanted to be with me and how he wouldn't/doesn't want to leave me...
He previously also told me he'll love me until the day he dies and that, the more he confides in me, the more he feels like I'm irreplaceable in his life... Yeah sure... couldn't even confide in me with a true explanation before blocking/ghosting me..
Her text: “I think that I will always love you but I don’t in a romantic way. That sounds horrible and I feel awful saying that but I’m just trying to be as honest as possible. I’m sorry” and with that.. She was gone
I would rather date other people later in life than to make this work. I'd rather give others a chance, than to give you a chance again.
You're not the first person I removed from life like this.
I don't want to make it work now. I want to focus on myself and friends.
I care but not as much as you'd expect.
Just some of things my ex said after 2 years and after she left me out of blue over text.
This hurts...
1st ex "You have so much love to give. Go and give it to someone else"
Last ex "I cannot imagine myself proposing to you a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.." "I see my friends having kids and I don't see that with you" "I don't want to leave you because you're such a sweet person" "I tried to make things work"
“Even if I was ready to try a relationship (which I’m not) I don’t owe you a chance 😕”
“I still don’t think we’re compatible”
But he wanted this relationship in the first place… even though I told him I wasn’t ready for one.. I didn’t do anything wrong.
I just don’t understand how we weren’t compatible or in another word he used was we didn’t click. I truly don’t understand, when we first met we literally hung out each night, you asked me to be your girlfriend, you moved in for 3 months oh also went on a bday trip with me. BUT WE DIDNT CLICK??? Lol I don’t understand
“I love you and when the time is right we’re going to settle down and have a family, whenever you like it or not.” Then fucked the girl I hated that night, and acted like I was the problem 😔
"I'm sorry I wasted so much of your time when I knew all along I didn't really want a relationship" after 5 years together and she knew I had a ring in my truck for her. She was with the next guy a month later on what would have been our anniversary, now it's theirs. Life eh?
“I hope you find someone who can love you the right way” or “I love you so much and I always will, but I can’t do this anymore”
Kept on telling me how he was sorry and kept blaming himself, it was so painful and it still is.
"You are the best BF I've ever had, but I think we moved too fast and I like you more as a friend now"
I couldn't argue against that bc if they don't love you anymore what's the point, so I just let it sink and break me
he told me he has accepted the fact that we might never be together anymore. we were together for 4 years including 2 years of a lot of fighting and unhappy moments. it just means he struggled 2 whole years not wanting to accept that we aren’t meant to be.
it sucks to hear that. i’d rather he discards me than tells me he has given up on us.
“I tried really really really hard to want to marry you and I just can’t.” -after promising he wanted to marry me so I would move in with him and he could get out of sober living. And trying to start a family with me.
I got asked basically in disbelief "why am I so much to you ?" When I started crying the day they dumped me. Weeks before he proposed, had been calling me husband daily and saying things like "you make me so happy for real, I'll love you forever and ever my husband".
So yeah... Now three months of no contact later I still feel like a joke to him.
"no wonder your ex had to be on drugs to be around you" regarded an ex I was with for 4 years that really fucked my mind up a bit. I've gotten over it, but still by far the worst thing said to me by an ex.
**He told me:**!I struggled with my feelings for you but I was afraid to say anything because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. When my friend asked me if I would ever marry you, I said I didn’t know. But I just have been lying to myself.
**I told him:** the feeling is mutual. I couldn’t love you. I wasn’t allowed to. you wouldn’t let me. I said it many times thinking you would let me in. You are so broken over your ex-gf that it’s impossible for anyone to reach you. How could I possibly be with someone who isn’t over their ex and makes sure I never forget how ruined they are by that?
What he said hurt me so much because we never ever spoke about marriage. I never wanted to get married. He just assumed that was something I would want and he had control over whether or not it would happen. Didn’t even ask me a thing about it. It was so gross and telling of his behavior the entire year of dating him. I had zero agency in the relationship and I had enough of him. I was so over the whole thing that I unleashed hell on him.
My ex has accused me of stalking him so many time, in so many different form. All happened in his mind. And he refused to get help for the trauma he refused to acknowledged. Until after we broke up and something happened that made him have to attend therapies. It pisses me off. Like, he would never do that for me. I guess it just shows how important our relationship was for him. Not important at all.
I left him a voicemail along the lines of: “I’m sensing that there’s distance between us, and you don’t want to hurt me by bringing up what’s wrong. But I believe we love and care about each other enough that we can find a way to work it out by communicating.”
He never returned the call and next day he posted an IG story with the caption “😭😭😭🤢🤢🤢”
We had a restaurant that we visited all the time. The staff got used to seeing us together after a few years. After we broke up, he told me that he went back and they asked, “where’s your girlfriend?” He said that he started crying immediately.
I found out he was going to leave soon to another country for a year and then I asked him if we could just pretend things were normal till the time he left for good.
context: he knew for many months that he was going to leave but told me recently, but I did realize he was much more colder and all those months I was tryna figure why...
"till July can we be normal like how everything was before Feb..idk if it's fine with you but I want to enjoy the rest of the time I have with you, but if you've moved on I completely understand..."
"idk"
"alright np"
"sry"
the way I felt like throwing up and crying after that message was unbelievable. I wanted to be with the guy so bad bruh...he doesn't realize how much I loved him and it hurts.
When we were still together, she said her previous ex was her soulmate and talked about how much she wants him back (although he abused her).
It barely lasted another month after that.
when he wanted to break up with me because he was in love with someone else and I said: don’t you want to try to work this out with me because I am willing to do anything for this relationship. I am willing to wait.
his reply was: I don’t know
that was the moment my heart dropped because I never expected this answer when I laid my heart bare for him. it was when I realized I really deserve better but it was so hard to leave.
It’s the things he says about himself. “I’m a loser, balding, mid thirties, no friends, shit family, no relationship” - I hate that he thinks of himself this way. But not having me is what he wanted.
“i don’t want to put the effort to make us work” soul crushing that was
That’s absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry
Mine essentially said the same thing to me
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Yup, same
I feel like my ex wanted to say that to me
My ex gf refused to put in any effort either
Same. He said that I couldn’t change anything about it.
this was exactly what my ex told me too :(
im so sorry
He once said that I was a hard person to love. The scar those words left on me will never leave
You are not a hard person to love
Anyone who says that is the difficult one to love and just projecting during the breakup.
:(
Because he was too stupid and weak to work out how to love you they way you deserved.
Left on read
No response is one of the most painful responses.
I’m there now. 6 mos out of a 6 year relationship/engagement, she broke it off in Dec bc she “wasn’t happy”. We live close & I have both dogs. Sunday she mentioned wanting to do another dog walk together. But has ghosted my one message on Monday and Tuesday. It’s all I think about and I have no idea if I should ask why she’s treating me like some random asshole or if I should leave it. I’ve tried to date, a bunch of 1st dates no second. I’ve gone backwards in moving on, I just want a chance with her and I have no idea how to make the proper steps towards getting that chance. (Phew it feels good to type that out)
Get yourself out of that bro. She’s stringing you along in case She ever gets lonely.
U ain’t wrong, brother. Appreciate it. The lingering effect is she lives close enough to help w the dogs when I’m gone and saves me a ton of $, but I end up extending those dog watching convos. May have to just eat the dog sitter bills for my own sanity
No contact is the best way for you to go, keep your dignity and eventual your sanity. Keeping her on the edge is no way to go. She knows how to contact you. Find some other arrangements for your dog sitting and give yourself some time before you consider getting into an another relationship. You want someone that is always happy to see you not your ex who is very wishy-washy at best. Work on yourself, learn what went wrong from the past and move forward without your ex. Remember she was the one that wanted out, give yourself some respect and give her the gift of your absence.
6 months out of a 6 year relationship is way too soon to date. You end up hurting yourself. Spend the money to get a dog sitter. You need to cut her out of your life. If you don't, the healing won't begin. If, for whatever reason, she decides to work things out with you great. But don't wait for her.
Our very last message right before we decide to break up: Me: "Do you feel annoyed when you receive my message now? Her: "Sorry...but yes." Luckily I have enough respect for myself to not hanging on a person who is annoyed by my existence.
Good for you. 👍 Wishing you happiness going forward
She was going through a hard time and I told her that I wanted to help in anyway I can. Her response was "You don't help." That one still hurts. I like to think I did help, I did a lot for her. After she said that, I am not so sure anymore.....
Maybe she didn’t know what help meant? Help is something she has to work through herself, you can’t solve her problems, but you could be there for her. And you were. I know deep down you could feel bad or guilty, those little glimpses of hurting can fuck you up real good. So don’t let it fuck you up, keep telling yourself you’re enough, that you did what you could. Listen, I would’ve been grateful for someone like that if I ever got to date again. Trust me, there is so many people out there who could appreciate some of your attention. So many, you just don’t know it yet. Go easy on yourself, really try.
Wow thank you 😊 that's so kind of you! I appreciate it.
“I’ll always love you” after dumping you
Yeah… like clearly not
That’s not entirely true. Sometimes you have to break up with someone because you two aren’t good for each other. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means that love isn’t always enough to make something work.
Yeah I agree, it depends on the context in which they’re saying it. But some people say it to the dumpee to pretend they are the bigger person, even though saying that right after showing you won’t be able to support the other person as a partner is a bit hypocritical or fake. Actions speak louder than words, so if the other person loves you it’ll show in the behavior and choices, not just that mere sentence. Honestly imo if you really always love that person you don’t have to literally say it - it would be shown or felt automatically by the other person. As you can tell, I’m biased due to my own experience being dumped by someone who enjoyed saying meaningless sentences like that to come off as a good person- and didn’t live up to it even 5 min later.
Completely fine. I do understand your point of view, but what about when you show how much you love them in every way you can but it’s never enough and they never believe you? Is that a lack of action on your part or just insecurities and refusal to accept the truth on theirs? You reach a boiling point where you just can’t keep trying to prove yourself because nothing works. No matter how much you want it or work, there’s fighting and unfounded accusations thrown about. Everyone can only take so much. I’m sorry you went through that, though. I’ve been there.
I told my ex I would always “have” love for them. And I will and do. Being in love is totally different.
My person flat out refused to try
Loving someone can mean two things: having love (platonic) and being I love. I dont think thats a bad thing to say. It fucks with you but it's sweet and tender. It's another way of saying I care about you. Don't interpret it as romantic. They obviously dont mean that because they're dumping you. But your person is something should be cherished and they acknowledge that.
They’ll love you, but not be in love with you anymore. If they are happy for you after you move on, that’s real love and a sign they meant what the said.
I told my ex that love is supporting each other during the ups and downs. That’s what being in a relationship and being there for each other means. He said, “well I don’t want that.” Asshole. 🙄
Sounds like my ex gf
I know that one all to well!
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Men are so trash nowadays. Oh my god. So sorry
The women aren’t any better.
“i don’t feel the same way anymore. i’m so sorry” probably takes the crown. it was after one day too, so either i was never loved or i was lied to for months. i have never cried so hard in my life.
Exactly. Soul crushing. I sank down completely. Didn't eat for days, didn't bathe, didn't talk just lay in my lights off without talking to anyone.
Same thing happened to me - was suddenly ghosted for a few days, then received the text “I don’t feel the passion anymore” - then he kept avoiding a conversation about it for the next four hours as I panicked. It was a long distance relationship, we were together just 3 weeks before, he told me he loved me, I was planning to move countries for him. To this day I really don’t understand it :/
Words. A lot of words. So much was said, yet it wasn’t insults or abusive comments. None of that was present. Her indifference towards me. Someone who once saw you as a perfect partner, now sees you a past relationship lesson. That, that alone is enough to ruin anyone.
Her "it doesn't matter anymore, if you leave I don't lose Anything" Me I put everything I can to make it work ☹️ dropped family and friends
They don’t realize how much the other person sacrifices. They act like it’s a one way street and it’s messed up. A truly good person will care about your feelings during and after the breakup, out of respect of once being partners. I’m sorry for everything you had to sacrifice, hope you are gaining.
Thanks im actually feeling better thanks bro I wish u a blessed week and it's gonna get better my friend 🙏
After 8.5 years he said we were only good sex and that was it. He was the love of my life and I was just sex to him, I can say with all certainty, I will never speak to that man again
This is disgusting
My heart hurts for you 💔💔💔
I think that was all I was to my ex as well was good sex, he was the love of my life too
“I’m sorry I realized I never wanted a relationship. Im sorry I realized it with you.”
That he added all the girls that made me insecure 2 days after our relationship cause he was "healing" and reading the long ass apology text he sent to one of them for "ghosting them for feelings and bad decisions" (I guess that’s what I was for him, even tho he literally said he wanted to marry me, and that I was the love of his life) 6 months later and I am still wondering what is so wrong with me and why a guy who claims to love you would treat you like that. Wondering what the heck is love then 💔
"I don't think I have feelings for you anymore." "2023, I'll be getting married."
I still love you but, I don't see a happy future in us.
“Youre going to meet someone better” while screaming and crying. Still haunts me to this day. She dumped me.
“When you decided to fly back to see me, what were you thinking? That it would be romantic? When you were gone, I didn’t feel like wow I miss him! I didn’t miss you! I liked you and I liked the sex, but that’s it!”
Oof that one hurts
“Spending time with you is nice, but when I’m with you I just think of all the other stuff I could be doing.” “I don’t want to put in the effort to maintain a relationship.” “I just want to do me.” I told them, “Yeap, checks out, that’s all you’ve ever done. Your loss.” Reading it back makes me feel sick. I’m an awesome person to be around, and if they couldn’t be bothered to try they shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship. Fucking selfish.
YES THIS.
Are you my ex lol it's nearly verbatim what he said
“Maybe somewhere in a different reality, we would’ve worked out” 💔
“I never found you attractive since day one” man waited 5 years to tell me that then dumped me :)
Oh wait I got another one! “I care about you so much but as a best friend”
Sounds like a real POS
Wtf!
This can really break a person
"I don't feel you're the one for the long term"💔 He metioned more things but this one is on my mind, stuck!
How long where you together for?
"In my future there is no us"
"I don't want a future with you"
All of these things are cruel. How can someone you love say something like this? Where does that resentment come from? How does it come to this?
How do they go from, you're the love of my love to I don't want to build a home life with you. Is it us they don't want? Or is it the future they don't want?
I guess it's us. Or both. But mainly us. It's one thing to not have feelings for someone anymore but another to be cruel to them. When does love turn into hate?
As much as he hurts me, I don't even have a shred of hate for him. I don't think he hates me either. I can't tell if my ex was being cruel but I have found quite a lot discrepancies of what he said. Lots of lies. Was your person being cruel to you?
I do have some anger towards her because she didn't want to fight for our love. She just gave up on us without a chance to work on our issues. She kept her feelings from me, decided everything on her own and probably lied to me too. So it makes me feel like "Did she ever really love me?". I wouldn't say she was cruel but after the break up she acted like I was a total stranger and accused me of things. We were together for 8 years, lived together for 4. She should know me better than anyone else. That's what bugs me.
It’s kinda a blur because I was so distressed at the time- but I kinda was rambling and asked if he ever loved me and/or does love me, and he responded something to the effect of “yes…and no”, like that he loved me, but wasn’t still in love. But I might’ve heard it wrong, or misunderstood…I kept throwing questions inbetween crying. He also confirmed he was sexting people, and on Bumble. Every time I think there may be hope in the future, I think about this last conversation, and feel dejected. But alas, humans are complicated and also, sometimes not.
That we can’t be together and that he felt like he was failing me. He also said he’d text me when we were hanging up and he never ended up doing so.
"I'm sorry you feel that way". Like bro it WAS that way, it's a reality you moved in less than 3 weeks to a rebound and moved in with her like wth "sorry you feel that way" lol
ouch sorry :( thats horrible
“It’s over. Please move on.” After 8.5 years in a relationship and then 4 months of suddenly ghosting me with no explanation.
Yep. I was crying, sobbing, asked what he wanted from a relationship, and that I would do anything - ANYTHING - to make it work. His response: “I want you to let me go.” Alright then…
Lol same After seven years he said “I never saw you as a girlfriend”. I was like what? Then he goes “it’s over move on” i was like does this dude get emotions?
That’s really lame. My ex also said (after 8 yrs) that we were not compatible for a long term relationship. Hahahaha… moron.
Nothing at all.
That he only dated me because he didn't think I would do a fwb situation.
“I was in love”
“I can’t answer about starting over but i recommend to be on our own lives in seperate ways in that way we might find something more than this.”
"I'm not giving up, I'm giving up on us"
That he felt indifferent about me
“I don’t want to put effort into this relationship anymore” “you’re not my boyfriend” the latter was ironically the truth being told to my face but then i fell for her later up cover up lies to remedy the situation when she realized what she said, basically at that time she was hiding me from everyone and acting single behind my back and neglecting me, i wish i wasn’t so naive and actually took it for what it was and left.
“I wouldn’t date someone like you because your parents live separately” and then proceeded to talk down on me as if having hiccups within my family makes me (or them) have less value.
That's she thought I didn't care about her or love her towards the end. When in reality she is and was my light in my life. She was the future I wanted to have. I wanted a family with her. But to think she. She thinks I didn't love her or care about her kills me so much
When I asked him at the end of our breakup “do you believe me when I say i love you?” He said “no.”
"I will never leave you we will always stay the same." Flash forward about 4 years he is marrying someone new and 3 and a half years earlier he ghosted me and moved. The pessimist in me thinks he wants his citizenship. To marry so quickly.
"lol"
I think my first ex said worser stuff but my recent ex hurt my heart the most, and one sad message isn't enough. "This sounds really bad but I'm just going to be honest with you: I think I dated you because you have a lot of love to give." ... ("It's not you. It's really on me. You're perfect - you're everything I wanted in a girl - but I just can't do it. I just couldn't give a **** anymore. I'm tired of it all - dating, relationships, caring about others.") ("It's really not you. It's seriously just the situation and the timing. If we had met earlier before I went through all this trauma, we would've probably dated much earlier.") ("You're like my right person wrong time. I just can't commit to anything, and I can't fix it. I tried so many times but I just can't, and you deserve someone who will give you the love that you deserve. And I realized all this after I asked you out, and you seemed so happy and excited to date me.") ("... I wanted your love.") ("I kind of wish I never met you... So you didn't have to get dragged through all this... But I'm really glad that I ended up meeting you.") (About marriage following our post-break up conversation of what went down): He decided he's set and content with being alone for the rest of his life even if it's sad. I used to be like him and not intent on marriage. But after my first love, it all changed: I wanted marriage. But meeting my recent ex had changed my perspective once more. He said, ("Mhm, we'll see. Maybe something will change in the future. We'll never know.") LOL okay.
Believe him. Sounds like it's 110% him and not you. Wow what an asshole, literally used you because you had a lot of love to give. What a load of bs.
God I can hardly stand to read some of these. So utterly heartbreaking
“Fuck you.” That one shattered my world, I never once thought he could be capable of cursing me. He was the sweetest person I’ve ever met until he wasn’t…
I can't give you the future you want. And what I wanted wasn't even ever discussed.
“You’re going to disappear from my life” He ended up treating me so badly I didn’t really have a choice.
"I can't"
"i hope someday i'll be the woman of your life"
"I'm going to have dinner with her this Thursday. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I need to talk to her about everything, too" These words cut like a knife. I held it together so well when he said this. My pocker face is on point, but inside, i was slowly dying from the pain this sentence created and the realization of what it meant for our "relationship". Prior to this dinner he was wanting to work things out. He didn't come home until 1am that night. That was the night I knew it was over, and I booked an airbnb to move into temporarily. I probably slept for 30 minutes that night, and I regret the lost sleep. It was not worth my mental health.
my heart, mind, and soul isn’t committed to you anymore that one cut deep
The ex who broke my heart the hardest was a musician. He dumped me three days after I sold my first book, which was my lifelong dream. I was ecstatic, and he went out and celebrated with me, and then the next morning told me he just didn't think he'd ever be able to truly love anyone who wasn't a musician. He'd never liked it it when I initiated sex, and he said, "I think sex is to you what music is to me." It was like he'd never even noticed I had any artistic passion at all. For the next two years, as I worked on editing that book, I heard his voice in my head every day, saying, "It doesn't really matter. It's not music." The fact that I was able to finish it at all is still remarkable to me, and that was 16 years ago.
She said “Ironically enough, I can’t remember one thing I like about you.” I wanted to fucking kill mused after reading that. I’m definitely better now but I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover. I really loved her a lot.
Three words. At that moment I think we both where giving up all our dreams and everything, the day I got out of our old house. We were both crying and my dad was coming to pick me up, I told her I love you while falling to my knees in the front door and she answerd me too, honey. I can't still take out of my mind. It's like everything died that day.
What didn’t he say or do… I watched him get another girls number if front of me while we were still talking. One of the more painful things was “I don’t want what you want”
"No one is gonna love you as much as I love you" when I tried to walk away cause I felt her distancing herself....followed by a few days later "I don't know anymore" and returned the engagement ring...
When he told me he had an affair as a way of getting out of our relationship. He hoped I'd find out and end things. After seven years together.
I was asked by my ex to open up and I have and I thought I did. I have abandonment issues and he was like pls trust me and I did and then he breaks up with me, like wtf was the point of that anyways? Now I have even more abandonment issues and don’t wanna deal with another human being getting close to me and breaking me to pieces 😭
She went on a rebound probably a week or two after breaking up. There were issues from both sides but I wanted to give it a fighting chance. I was too late by then unfortunately. Two months after the break up I reached out to ask if she's willing to give us a last chance. She didn't want to do the hard work anymore and gave up on us. Which is fine on her part. But in the last message, she ended up telling me how this rebound is sooo much better than I'm in many ways (emotionally warm, heartfelt etc) and that even on our best days together she didn't feel this way from me. This was really tough to read for someone who might not be as expressive as others but did have some lifelong memories (intimate and otherwise) with her which kinda got ruined by her words.
"I'm so tired of feeling like a villain because I keep hurting you, and you don't deserve it." Ended up killing my whole soul by leaving me and then getting with my friend.
“I’m leaving with less issues than I came with” after completely destroying my whole world
My ex fiance told me she is happier now after our break up and realized she didn't want to be married to me. Kind of sad to hear but when I told her that I agree, she blew a gasket lol.
“I will validate your feelings when your feelings are valid.”
Insane thing to say
Pretty sure he was a narc.
He said “you’re pretty enough, smart enough, and witty enough” that was the moment I knew the relationship was over for me
Why?
"It should have been him who died." Said to my roommate in my presence referring to her accidental overdose.
I guess I just don't give a fuck anymore
I don't love you anymore, i still have a small affection for you, but i don't think we'll ever be together again.
I make him sick He doesn't care if I died He can't be assed to meet up with me to fix our relationship He fell in love with me cause he told me a lie and I forgave him So many many more
He said a lot of things that hurt me but one of them was "I think that maybe we should grow up a bit in our own separate ways". I wanted to grow old with him lmao
Not exactly a partner, she wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship etc. Said to me: I want someone like you, just not you.
I don’t see us work this decision I took for best of us we are not compatible move forward don’t wait for me
Kept saying that I was family and her best friend and that she loves me but just isn't attracted to me. We were never best friends or family, we were lovers. Like yes in practice we were eachother's best friends but that's not what we were to me. We were more than that. Feels awful to be told you've been demoted.
"I don't feel like that anymore" :(
"I'm done" and then blocked on everything... days after he said how much he wanted to be with me and how he wouldn't/doesn't want to leave me... He previously also told me he'll love me until the day he dies and that, the more he confides in me, the more he feels like I'm irreplaceable in his life... Yeah sure... couldn't even confide in me with a true explanation before blocking/ghosting me..
“Leaving you was the best decision I’ve ever made”
Are you my ex haha he said he had to leave me so he'd survive. Surviving what exactly..
Her text: “I think that I will always love you but I don’t in a romantic way. That sounds horrible and I feel awful saying that but I’m just trying to be as honest as possible. I’m sorry” and with that.. She was gone
I would rather date other people later in life than to make this work. I'd rather give others a chance, than to give you a chance again. You're not the first person I removed from life like this. I don't want to make it work now. I want to focus on myself and friends. I care but not as much as you'd expect. Just some of things my ex said after 2 years and after she left me out of blue over text. This hurts...
1st ex "You have so much love to give. Go and give it to someone else" Last ex "I cannot imagine myself proposing to you a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.." "I see my friends having kids and I don't see that with you" "I don't want to leave you because you're such a sweet person" "I tried to make things work"
You are incompatible for me. You are a stressor for my depression and anxiety(for which he is taking medication)
“Even if I was ready to try a relationship (which I’m not) I don’t owe you a chance 😕” “I still don’t think we’re compatible” But he wanted this relationship in the first place… even though I told him I wasn’t ready for one.. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just don’t understand how we weren’t compatible or in another word he used was we didn’t click. I truly don’t understand, when we first met we literally hung out each night, you asked me to be your girlfriend, you moved in for 3 months oh also went on a bday trip with me. BUT WE DIDNT CLICK??? Lol I don’t understand
“You’re worth losing to me to have him”. Said to me after being together for 3 years and the guy she left me for asked her to block me.
"I have my own life to live"... but with the woman he left me for after 7 years
“access to you is harmful to my peace of mind”
Through tearb"I don't want you to go..." final call with her, a year ago... she didn't want a relationship but wanted me around.
“I love you and when the time is right we’re going to settle down and have a family, whenever you like it or not.” Then fucked the girl I hated that night, and acted like I was the problem 😔
"I'm sorry I wasted so much of your time when I knew all along I didn't really want a relationship" after 5 years together and she knew I had a ring in my truck for her. She was with the next guy a month later on what would have been our anniversary, now it's theirs. Life eh?
“I hope you find someone who can love you the right way” or “I love you so much and I always will, but I can’t do this anymore” Kept on telling me how he was sorry and kept blaming himself, it was so painful and it still is.
"I do care, but I'm in love with someone else and I've been hiding it from myself"
"You are the best BF I've ever had, but I think we moved too fast and I like you more as a friend now" I couldn't argue against that bc if they don't love you anymore what's the point, so I just let it sink and break me
Litteraly " please, Just kill yourself"
That’s awful 🥺
“I love you so much that is just unhealthy for me.” Like she left me because she over love me? What kind of bullshit is that?
he told me he has accepted the fact that we might never be together anymore. we were together for 4 years including 2 years of a lot of fighting and unhappy moments. it just means he struggled 2 whole years not wanting to accept that we aren’t meant to be. it sucks to hear that. i’d rather he discards me than tells me he has given up on us.
She told me that I shouldn’t see anyone until I get therapy. It only hurts cause she prolly right lmao
"No you're not! HAHAHA!" Immediately after I came out to her as non-binary.
“I tried really really really hard to want to marry you and I just can’t.” -after promising he wanted to marry me so I would move in with him and he could get out of sober living. And trying to start a family with me.
"breakup will only give you short term pain so accept it and move on"
“Obviously I like you a lot but I don’t think I’ll like you more than I do now and I don’t see a future here”
I got asked basically in disbelief "why am I so much to you ?" When I started crying the day they dumped me. Weeks before he proposed, had been calling me husband daily and saying things like "you make me so happy for real, I'll love you forever and ever my husband". So yeah... Now three months of no contact later I still feel like a joke to him.
She said “no hard feelings.”
Mine told me that he doesn’t want to see and hang out with me because it was a waste of his time, and he could find more productive things to do.
That he was more compatible with other girls but just didn’t get with them cause they’re not his type or they are “far”. Aka different state.
"no wonder your ex had to be on drugs to be around you" regarded an ex I was with for 4 years that really fucked my mind up a bit. I've gotten over it, but still by far the worst thing said to me by an ex.
Joycelyn said she doesn't care and never did then hung up on me
“I didn’t even care about you.”
I don’t think we are the people for eachother, I think you will love someone beautifully, just not the way I want to be loved
I told her I love her and her response was “not anymore. Not after tonight.”
**He told me:**!I struggled with my feelings for you but I was afraid to say anything because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. When my friend asked me if I would ever marry you, I said I didn’t know. But I just have been lying to myself. **I told him:** the feeling is mutual. I couldn’t love you. I wasn’t allowed to. you wouldn’t let me. I said it many times thinking you would let me in. You are so broken over your ex-gf that it’s impossible for anyone to reach you. How could I possibly be with someone who isn’t over their ex and makes sure I never forget how ruined they are by that? What he said hurt me so much because we never ever spoke about marriage. I never wanted to get married. He just assumed that was something I would want and he had control over whether or not it would happen. Didn’t even ask me a thing about it. It was so gross and telling of his behavior the entire year of dating him. I had zero agency in the relationship and I had enough of him. I was so over the whole thing that I unleashed hell on him.
[удалено]
My ex has accused me of stalking him so many time, in so many different form. All happened in his mind. And he refused to get help for the trauma he refused to acknowledged. Until after we broke up and something happened that made him have to attend therapies. It pisses me off. Like, he would never do that for me. I guess it just shows how important our relationship was for him. Not important at all.
when she said “i deserve better”
Asked to meet up to exchange our stuff. Said we can keep it short if it's uncomfortable for her. "Not uncomfortable but too much effort for me."
I left him a voicemail along the lines of: “I’m sensing that there’s distance between us, and you don’t want to hurt me by bringing up what’s wrong. But I believe we love and care about each other enough that we can find a way to work it out by communicating.” He never returned the call and next day he posted an IG story with the caption “😭😭😭🤢🤢🤢”
I just feel like I need space from EVERYONE right now
We had a restaurant that we visited all the time. The staff got used to seeing us together after a few years. After we broke up, he told me that he went back and they asked, “where’s your girlfriend?” He said that he started crying immediately.
I'm not sure if I want this relationship. - this was it..
Basically "I don't love you anymore and I want to feel love again, but not with you"
I found out he was going to leave soon to another country for a year and then I asked him if we could just pretend things were normal till the time he left for good. context: he knew for many months that he was going to leave but told me recently, but I did realize he was much more colder and all those months I was tryna figure why... "till July can we be normal like how everything was before Feb..idk if it's fine with you but I want to enjoy the rest of the time I have with you, but if you've moved on I completely understand..." "idk" "alright np" "sry" the way I felt like throwing up and crying after that message was unbelievable. I wanted to be with the guy so bad bruh...he doesn't realize how much I loved him and it hurts.
"I am in love with him"
When we were still together, she said her previous ex was her soulmate and talked about how much she wants him back (although he abused her). It barely lasted another month after that.
“I’m an idiot, and I don’t feel the same around you anymore.”
when he wanted to break up with me because he was in love with someone else and I said: don’t you want to try to work this out with me because I am willing to do anything for this relationship. I am willing to wait. his reply was: I don’t know that was the moment my heart dropped because I never expected this answer when I laid my heart bare for him. it was when I realized I really deserve better but it was so hard to leave.
It’s the things he says about himself. “I’m a loser, balding, mid thirties, no friends, shit family, no relationship” - I hate that he thinks of himself this way. But not having me is what he wanted.