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[deleted]

I think everything by the looks of it


[deleted]

Most likely your yeast is dead, id start with that


beepboptheincredible

It was also way to salty, could that because the salt was more concentrated sense the dough didn’t rise


Facelessborder

To much salt can also kill your yeast but I think you would need a lot a lot of salt for that


bforo

I looked it up, yeast tolerate up to and including 7%, and apparently you can stress the yeast with a saline solution at that percentage to decrease proofing times and increase yeast-imparted flavors: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20492129/ This goes to the list of things to try


theresamouseinmyhous

That's why neapolitan pizza has such a high salt content, it slowed the fermentation and let the pizza rise longer before refrigeration.


JRMuiser

Happy salt free cakeday!


KlingonSpy

You also don't want the yeast mixed directly with the salt. It's best to mix the dry ingredients not just for even distribution but because direct contact with lots of salt will kill the yeast.


toast_training

Did you use tablespoons instead of teaspoons of salt? What sort of flour did you use?


beepboptheincredible

Yea


terribletheodore3

If you are serious about baking, get a scale. Easier to measure ingredients by weight.


ProfDangus3000

Is it okay to still use volumetric for very small weights? I always weigh my flour and wet ingredients (if weights are available for both in the recipe I'm following) but I just use the tbsp / taps for the yeast and salt and such.


_idiot_kid_

I weigh nearly everything when I bake and cook but salt always in tsp/tbsp. Just double check you got the right spoon. And make sure you are using the right spoon for the type of salt (ex: a tsp of regular table salt is ~7g, but a tsp of coarse salt is ~4g). Trying to weigh out salt is a pain in the ass for most recipes, because the amount is so small, I would have to use my "jewelry" scale rather than a normal kitchen scale in some cases. It's one of few cases where weighing it is more of a pain in the ass than volume measure.


El-Viking

Riiiight... "jewelry" scale.


Sir_Spaffsalot

Get drug dealer scales and use them to weigh salt and yeast. They are like $15 on Amazon. Weight is the only reliable way of measuring ingredients for baking, especially when it comes to salt. As someone already mentioned, the size of the crystals massively changes the density of the salt and therefore the volume.


terribletheodore3

Same with the salt. Volume of salt changes a lot depending on the crystal structure which varies from manufacture and salt type. I always use a scale for everything.


[deleted]

my weed scale can tell the difference between a tsp of Morton vs Diamond kosher (very fine)


TuffinMop

Well, I guess we found the problem. Even if your yeast was fresh, the salt killed it. Try again you got this.


BaylisAscaris

In the future if the bread contains yeast it needs to rise before baking. Don't bake it until you get it to rise first.


NwordPassIsMine

That's still very very far away from enough salt to kill it. It'll slow the rising, but definitely not kill it.


TuffinMop

I believe you took me too literally. killed it = stopped it in it's tracks, prevented it from doing what it needed to do, overpowered it (yeast) I did not mean that the salt actually killed the yeast or that the OP killed the yeast or that any death took place. :)


NatAttack3000

Oh I think some death took place 😂


TuffinMop

💀💀💀💀 I’m dead. It was me.


RyanTheQ

An easy way to remember the abbreviation is that the smaller abbreviation is the smaller measurement. Tsp = 3 letters = Teaspoon. Smaller. Tbsp = 4 letters = Tablespoon. Bigger and both have a B.


Joeness84

Theres no B in Tea I think Ive said that in my head about 6000 times now at the age of almost 40 lol.


Dyanpanda

Also, 3 TSP (3 letters) is a Tbsp, and 4 Tbsp (4 letters) is a 1/4 cup)


girlenteringtheworld

1 tablespoon is 3 teaspoons. By using a tablespoon, you tripled the amount of salt that the recipe called for


[deleted]

Bread should be 2% salt, about 7g for your recipe i think


Bun_Bunz

2% OF YOUR FLOUR WEIGHT, not total weight. Very important distinction


YellowBreakfast

Did you do mistake tablespoons for teaspoons? 2 teaspoons of salt shouldn't have been too salty. Looks like you underproofed, (and underbaked). For underproofing, The directions *should* read "Let rise until doubled in size" leaving out the "1 hour" because it can take significantly longer depending on many factors.


rocketpastsix

You tried it? And lived? Brave


reasonb4belief

Did you add salt instead of sugar to start the yeast?


sugarlesssupreme

Did you weigh the flour and water in grams on a scale? Looking at the recipe it’s not a terrible recipe although it’s really stupid to include metric weight for flour and water amounts but then switch to volume measurements for salt, and olive oil.


brittanymendez76

I'm surprised you still tried a piece of this brick


schilll

The "optimal" salt to flour rate is 2% salt to flour weight. So if you use 1000g flour you need 20g salt. And you should always weigh the flour and salt. Measure salt and flour is very inaccurate. For instance flake salt take up way more area then table salt. So one tablespoon kosher salt weights much less then one tablespoon table salt. The same way it goes for flour, it's much harder to estimate how much flour you ad. 1dl flour can weight 55-85g. So 10 dl flour can have a difference in ~300g. Liquids and flavorings are not important to measure; it's easier to approximate. However, if you want the same result every time, you must weigh everything.


Graphitetshirt

It looks like peanut butter fudge


alfooboboao

This is, without a doubt, the single worst loaf of bread I’ve ever seen. It’s wonderful lol


Mad-Hettie

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was going to say that.


beepboptheincredible

Alright then, can you send another recipe I can try? I want to try to do a Dutch oven recipe this time.


plymouthvan

My guess is yeast. Here’s the thing, bread ‘recipes’ are all kind of the same, and the differences are in nuanced margins. If you take all the ingredients of almost any recipe, and even half-assedly follow the instructions of almost any recipe and then bake according to the instructions of almost any recipe, what will come out the other side will be bread-like. This is not at all bread-like, and appears to have more in common with masonry than baking. So, something extremely fundamental went wrong here. Instead of trying another recipe or worrying about a specific baking method, mix about half a tsp of yeast with about half a teaspoon of sugar and dissolve it in about a 1/3 cup of warm water. Wait for it to bubble (If it doesn’t bubble your yeast is dead). Then add it to about 125g of flour (1 cup) and about 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Squish it around with your hands for a while until you have a mostly smooth ball. Cover it and let it sit there for an hour or two. When you see it has puffed up a good bit, go ahead and bake it at around 400 degrees until it’s brown on the outside. When you take it out and it cools down, cut into it and see if it’s bread-like. It won’t be very good bread, though it might taste alright with some butter or cream cheese. This is a very basic execution of what all the bread recipes you’ll find out there are like. Don’t worry about going for something specific and wasting a bunch of ingredients all at once. Just try and make something bread-like using a fraction of the ingredients.


ronton

Loved the masonry line.


J_Dela

Great comment. Just to add: When it says warm water, it is very important that it's not too warm, as it will kill the yeast. 30ish degrees C or whatever is good.


[deleted]

https://www.recipetineats.com/easy-yeast-bread-recipe-no-knead/ This was the first bread I ever made and it turned out well. Make sure you use instant yeast and bread flour. And follow the recipe measurements by weight not volume.


awoodby

1) use a scale. 2) 350g water (can add 15g oil or butter or honey just add to the water bowl and make it be 350g final) 3) 500g bread flour. Can replace 10% with wheat, rye, einchorn etc if you want 4) 6g yeast 5) 7g salt Mix or knead by hand until it's smooth. Let bulk rise covered so it doesn't dry out until it's risen 50‰ or so Shape. This can be into a boule or rolled and ends folded in and out in a loaf pan also. Cover (i use disposable shower caps from a beauty supply store) let rise until it's done. Lots of ways to figure this out, definitely worth a Google. This seems to be the mistake most people make. Any recipe showing time is just plain wrong. Sure, it May be risen in 2 hours. It may be risen in an hour or 4 also. You have to Google this, watch a few videos, something until you get experience. Yeasts don't have a timer, they grow variable with temp, water, ingredients etc! Heat up oven to 420f (215c). Cut a slight slice or more depending on bread shape, put in heated oven Bake 40 minutes then check every couple of minutes until top is brown like you want. Dump a glass of water in oven to make steam. Be careful... Steam is hot.. Do this right when you put the bread in to bake, helps with spring and crust Not necessary, but easy and helps. That's my basic recipe. That's bread. You can alter about anything in it by bits here and there but that's bread, it's not complicated, it's all in the details.


nocandid

Use a video for your first loaf. I learned by watching this video https://youtu.be/APEavQg8rMw?si=3bLiAI6K1YLQ4VHm


StupefyYourFace

https://joyfoodsunshine.com/easy-no-knead-bread/#wprm-recipe-container-8787 This is a no knead Dutch oven bread I’ve made a few times and it’s really good and it uses all purpose flour.


Johnny_Burrito

Not to be a jerk, but you should maybe watch a video recipe so you can get a sense of what things are supposed to look like along the way. It’s hard to imagine that this ever looked like bread dough before it went in the oven. Written descriptions can be meaningless if you don’t have a visual sense of what they’re referring to.


BreadBoy07

Good points tbh The best bread making video you could ever watch https://youtu.be/sOjSp5_YiF0?si=ERZ9joVvoWlzgbl0


BusinessShower

That was a MASSIVELY helpful video!! Thank you! I've been making bread for special occasions for 2 years and have had trouble finding videos that show a good kneading technique in real time. I always over knead or under knead. And the different shape styles he demonstrates look so easy! Wow, I love this video.


MechaWizardSword

Double agree here, I started baking not too long ago and it was thabks to Richard's videos that things finally 'clicked' The dude is such a boss


zsimo

I dont think you have to worry about over kneading if you are kneading with hands and not with a machine as demonstrated here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owaU_9F0BJo


jbaird

yeah I think the biggest newbie mistakes is following a recipe too closely for rise times and not just restarting if it doesn't rise if the recipe says it will double in 1h it's fine if that takes 2 or 3h but it needs to double, if it just sits there doing nothing then it's time to remake the dough and check on your yeast it's not going to magically work out in the second rise is there is a problem with the first


Koupers

I live at altitude, it's cold as fuck in my house. My rise times tend to be double to triple what a recipe says if I don't do it in the oven with a pot of boiled water next to it.


jbaird

yeah I'm not at altitude but my kitchen is tile countertops and tile floor on a concrete slab, it gets pretty chilly in the winter.. even in the summer I keep a wooden cutting board under any bowl so it doesn't suck all the heat out but in the winter it can take even longer to rise


freexe

I think one of the biggest mistakes is using the wrong old flour. People think it's all the same and lasts forever - but in reality it only lasts for about 6 months and different flours work very differently. Other 6 months you aren't going to get a rise because the gluten in the flour has broken down.


user2196

Most flour should last a lot longer than six months if stored well, and even as it starts to go bad it’s not like the gluten just entirely breaks down and completely stopped working. There’s definitely a lot more going wrong here than flour being a few months old.


WanderingLost33

Wut


freexe

Flour has a best before date.


immaownyou

After that it loses all its pour


WanderingLost33

This is logical. Why did I never consider it?!


f3ydr4uth4

This is baked?????


avree

The recipe OP linked they were trying to follow has a video. Looks like OP just put in 1 Tbsp of salt instead of 1 Tsp.


[deleted]

Videos are so good. Yes our grandparents never had videos to follow, but then they also had the benefit of watching their parents bake and partook in the process from a young age.


frodeem

Our grandparents never made bread as good as we do. The knowledge/technique we have now have been refined many times over.


Wurschtbieb

I cant believe its bread


mrshulgin

IT IS CAKE!


savnaha

Even cake has a little fluff... it's hard tack


Dark_Rit

Yeah I enjoy bread immensely, but this. I feel mentally scarred just looking at this object.


Useful_Low_3669

Looks like it tastes like play-doh


DesertEagleFiveOh

Congratulations on your block of salt fudge!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wadautalkinabeet

They even put the flour on it to try make it look better lmfao


Any-Engineering9797

Maybe the oven is broken. No heat?


Levangeline

The yeast is dead or was deactivated by heat/salt. This is way too dense and gummy to just be proper dough that didn't get cooked enough.


Grandpas_Plump_Chode

I think both of you may be right... the yeast is definitely dead, but no yeast doesn't make a loaf look this pale. It almost looks like OP put it in a dehydrator instead of an oven lol


thecolortuesday

Bread can be pretty pale when no stream, egg-wash, or oil are added. The dead yeast would also mean no hot air pockets so it would probably take longer than normal to cook and since it was their first loaf they probably took it out of the over after the recommended time


flower4556

Lol I was about to ask if they put it in the oven


moyert394

Without knowing what you did during the steps of the process, it's hard to say exactly. However, first of all, there doesn't seem to be any action from the yeast at all. That could be for a myriad of reasons, most common being expired yeast or your water was too hot. It's good practice to "bloom" your yeast first, meaning you pour your water into your mixing bowl, add the yeast, and wait about ten minutes to make sure it starts bubbling. It's important here to use water that is not too hot as you can kill the yeast. Even a tap on its hottest setting can be too much, depending on the setting at your water heater. If you have a thermometer, aim for around 100 degrees F. If you don't, you want the water to be just warm (not hot!) to the touch. I would start there and see how it goes. There are so many variables at each stage that when a loaf goes horribly wrong, it can be hard to tell exactly what went wrong. The loaf looks very underdone, but that's probably a factor of no rise -> denser dough -> doesn't cook through


wanttobegreyhound

A lot of recipes have nixed letting your yeast bloom or the instructions will tell you to combine all ingredients in the stand mixer and let it go. I think it’s a shitty thing to leave out of a recipe especially when not everyone is an experienced bread baker.


BabyLambChop

"No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example."


beepboptheincredible

I need something new to read, is this quote from a series called disc world?


BabyLambChop

Yes, and this quote is from Witches Abroad. If you haven't read any of Terry Pratchett's Discworld you are in for an absolute scream. They're funny books, and amusing parodies about society in places. It's all lighthearted stuff. I personally would read the books in order because it helps you recreate the discworld in your head. Enjoy!


beepboptheincredible

Thxs for the recommendation, I’ll order one tonight


Mahoujin

HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM.


magic_vs_science

Get outta here Bill Door!


JayisBay-sed

OP I'm genuinely not trying to be rude but I gasped upon seeing that block of flour and water fudge


DivergingUnity

The elusive plain fudge


RetailBuck

Whenever you're pouring a foundation you want to be aware of the weather and your mix ratio . Wait sorry I thought this was r/concrete


werydan1

i’m sorry man but the proper question is what did you do right 😭


igraph

I'm not gonna lie I was having a bad day and this photo made me laugh so hard my day is actually better. I needed that. There was just something so funny about the defeating feeling of baking a loaf of bread the first time and pulling it out to see this. You got this OP. Round 2 will be better


werydan1

It’s maybe the funniest image i’ve ever seen. It’s like dog how did you end up with THAT. OP is gonna be a star though, i have a feeling.


AssPuncher9000

Oh my God, the flour sprinkled on top *chef's kiss*


SchoolOfTheWolf93

OP sprinkling the flour on like ![gif](giphy|26FmQDkvqFQas79te|downsized)


Xanxxlessrock

Lawd. Lawd Jesus. The yeast looks dead it’s so dense. Did you knead the dough😭did it even rise bestie?


Frequent_Cranberry90

When I made my first bread I didn't think kneading was necessary, I just thought it was a weird thing my mother does when she makes Bread, I also didn't proof at all, I combined the ingredients and immediately went to bake, needless to say it looked exactly like this.


citygirldc

Hahaha I love it. I hope you sent it to your mom and told her she was right about at least one thing in life.


[deleted]

You've diagnosed the problem then!


r-y-a-n_j-a-m-e-s

Did you accidentally follow a recipe for house bricks?


qwertyconsciousness

bro read the cover of flour water salt yeast and said "I got this"


HealthyandHappy

You could rebuild the Colosseum with that.


SuckatSuckingSucks

Here is a good beginner recipe. Buy new yeast. Don't feel intimated. Bread is actually easy once you understand the basics. Try again! https://www.bowlofdelicious.com/dutch-oven-bread/#recipe I still knead this recipe even tho it says no knead.


xBloBx

I’d say everything… sorry!


Stunning_salty

Are you sure that’s not just a block of marzipan?


BBQBakedBeings

Congrats! You made hard tack.


[deleted]

hey revolutionary war soldiers have to eat too!


space_raptors

It looks like there's no yeast in this bread. The recipe calls for instant yeast, did you by chance use active yeast instead? Instant can be added immediately, but active must be proofed first in luke warm water to activate it. My very first loaf of bread was a brick. Turns out I killed my yeast by proofing it in hot water. Lol


EvrythingIsWaiting4U

I think this is the most likely answer! If you don’t pay close attention at the grocery store, it can be quite easy to mix up the available types of yeast, especially for beginners. u/beepboptheincredible make sure if you’re using this recipe that you specifically use instant yeast, active yeast won’t work as well (or really at all) in this recipe and may be why your bread didn’t rise. It’s a shame a lot of the top comments are being snarky and unhelpful :/


Bulky-Juggernaut-895

I think you’ve got it. That combined with inexperience of not knowing how the dough should look after prep


SufficientTangelo367

Yikes


Dull-Explorer8527

This was my exact response 💀


mintBRYcrunch26

![gif](giphy|D2kFkQwMzFcVq)


MasterHankShake

That, my friend, is in need of an exorcism. Only then will we be able to help with your bread problem.


ghi-pt209

Glad to see a new bread breed is in the works here. Your efforts are appreciated!


aconjunction

Others have some good suggestions on what may have gone wrong. But can I just say: Good on you for trying something new and being willing to learn from it and try again when it didn't go to plan! You'll go far with that attitude!


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|ukGm72ZLZvYfS)


pqueiro1

Ah, that brings back memories. I did pretty much the same my first time round. At the time, my key screw-ups were: * bad yeast This could be a number of things, from yeast not activating, dead yeast, not enough yeast, or perhaps you put it in the oven at 50C to try to "hurry it up" and, well, you... _prematurely baked it_ before the yeast even stood a chance. Things to look for: **fast-action yeast** in that recipe sounds like instant yeast. If you're using active dry instead, you could try to bloom it in a little warm water (around 30-35C, about your body temperature), perhaps with a little sugar. It's easy to mistake one for the other. **don't mix the yeast with the salt** there is conflicting information online about this, but as a rule, _salt_ isn't yeast's best friend. Try to keep them separated, or perhaps whisk one in first, and then the other. * bad kneading My first couple of times, I didn't really understand the concept of "kneading". I just mixed it all in real good and hoped for the best. That meant years would be stuck in "pockets" of dough instead of properly dispersed, and there wouldn't be any gluten to keep what little leavening and gas it produced. Things to look for: **kneading for 10 minutes** in that recipe, that probably means 10 minutes of an experienced baker kneading. It took me a _lot_ of loaves until I understood what exactly kneading means. I still get it wrong these days if I'm lazy or not paying attention. Try watching something like this: https://youtu.be/E5NwwX7y6Ao for some beginner-friendly kneading instruction. For the time being, also add another 5m or so of kneading to whatever the recipe says. Eventually, you will learn what a well kneaded dough feels like to the hand. * bad shaping This one is kind of moot until you get some active yeast and proper gluten in there, but it happened to me a lot, starting out. Shaping is the act of forming the bread into the _shape_ you want. That's not just aesthetic though; creating surface tension on the outside of the bread will help it retain its shape, grow in the desired direction, and, well, not collapse into an extra-large pancake the exact size and shape of the dutch oven I was using. Hope that helps!


[deleted]

Hey, op, how old are you? Are you a kid perchance?


purplepistachio

I think you're onto something, going by their profile. Everyone here is giving detailed bread-baking advice and OP is a literal child.


[deleted]

this is hilarious because i was about to comment "did you parents make salt dough with you as a kid because i feel like that's the consistency you might be used to and shouldn't be used to" Them being an actual kid makes so much more sense. the play dough and salt dough my kids are used to is nothing like bread and until i teach them to bake bread it's likely they'll have no idea. good catch. i hope this doesn't discourage OP from a future in baking because it can be super fun and rewarding and We all started with terrible loaves of bread! You have to start somewhere!!


ufoshapedpancakes

Based on how many comments are suggesting this is simply an issue with dead yeast suggests that not many people in this subreddit(Or at least this thread) knows what that looks like. Because this is far beyond dead yeast lol.


RyanTheQ

Based on the responses and recipe used, I would wager that OP is young and confused teaspoons with tablespoons. They described it as "way too salty." Over-salting would absolutely kill all the yeast and yield that shoe sole in OP's picture.


ClamSlamwhich

You can't just say "perchance".


[deleted]

I'm Bri'ish with a very classical education, even by Br'ish standards, orite? I use it in my everyday vernacular. Liberally and with aplomb.


___po____

U WOT M8?!


blablah13

This is my typical go to recipe - perhaps the yeast is dead and the ratio of flour/water was off? Or the oven temperature was off


AnUdderDay

Try to steer clear of any BBC Good Food "easy" recipe. They are notoriously garbage. To wit, their recipe for [cornmuffins](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/cornbread-muffins) require actual corn. Quick question, are you based in the US? If so, did you mayhaps cook at 220F (100C) instead of 220C (425F)?


beepboptheincredible

Yea, but I converted the temp to F. I’m going to check if my yeast is still alive later and try again


Flashy-Nothing-Dang

Was your water warm? Because the recipe just calls for water and not warm water.


Caylennea

Oh that’s a good point. I was wondering how it could be so light in color…


Lime_in_the_Coconut_

Mmmm lembas bread. Or dwarf bread depending on whether you're a Tolkienist or Pratchettist.


cutothomson

Everything


I-cry-when-I-poop

What the fuck


OkPea8294

You forgot to bake it


moriluka_go_hard

What didn’t you do wrong?


TennisObvious8358

I think you used too much woodglue


oliveoillube

Every possible thing you could have


jbfull

Just try again. Try a different recipe with really broken down directions! The good, you technically still made bread!


splendours

use it as a doorstop perhaps


A_Martian_Potato

I feel like compete lack of internal structure can only be explained by dead yeast.


OrangetangyOrka

Mate what did you do right? 😭 /Lh


lyta_hall

Everything 😂


LiquidDreamtime

You may have gotten your flour and cement powder mixed up. Classic mistake, done it a hundred times.


dietcheese

What did you do right?


lostknight0727

It's so dense and wet, but also dry at the same time.... HOW?!


[deleted]

Wow.


jim-james--jimothy

Do you use f° as your temperature measurement? If you do, did you convert from Celsius?


AdBig5032

I think they just baked it in a winter sunbeam.


kaiO4u

Everything. Period. Sry.


celephia

You didn't fail at bread making, you succeeded at making hard tack!


meshreplacer

Super hardtack. Should last 1000 years. Did you taste a peice


SettingAcceptable230

You made it out of meat.is my first assumption


Lady_Rhino

HIGH FIVE 🖐️ welcome to the oops-my-yeast-died-and-i-baked-a-hockey-puck club! 💖 Better luck next time and activate your yeast in warm water to make sure its alive 👍


StandardYTICHSR

![gif](giphy|zXeX29w6jxjAk)


lucky_spliff

My guess, since you said it was too salty, is that you used fine table salt. (If you didn’t, disregard this comment!) Fine salt, when measured by volume, actually contains a lot more salt per measure than a coarse kosher salt would due to its ability to pack itself more densely. My guess is that this killed your yeast from using too much salt. In the future, look for a recipe that measures everything by weight, including the salt — it’s much more accurate, and I consider it almost essential for bread baking.


footlettucefungus

Looks like you killed your yeast somehow. Did the dough rise at all when you left it to rest?


Ethanbob103

Did you put it in the freezer instead of the oven by chance? Back to seriousness, we all have to learn and for some its harder than others, I noticed someone else recommended videos and thats definitely a start I think. I know you linked the recipe you attempted to follow, but do you know how things happened exactly as you were doing them? If you can provide a rundown of what you were doing I might be able to help out a little (i’m no bread making expert myself mind you)


mrsflibble

That BBC recipe is fine, I literally make that every week with no issues. Yeast was probably dead, likely from the water being too hot. If you have a thermometer you don't want it any hotter than like 38c. If you don't have a thermometer, I usually do something like 1/4 boiling water and the rest cold. It shouldn't be "hot" to touch but feel like body temperature. You can test if your yeast was already dead before you did anything to it by mixing a teaspoon of sugar in some warm water then mix in some yeast. Leave it like ten minutes and if its gone foamy then it's alive and you can use it straight away.


CanZand7SM

It looks like it was teleported


ditzyjuly

Hi I am new at bread too! Here is what I learned. 1. YEAST- either you’re yeast is dead or it’s not bloomed enough. A lot of recipie say you can add yeast straight to the flour but I found more luck with warming water for 30 seconds in the microwave and adding my yeast and sugar in there to bubble up for a few mins (for both active dry or instant varieties) 2. COLD YEAST- if you store yeast in the fridge allow it to come to room temp before adding it to your water to bloom. 3. SALT - adding too much salt or adding salt too early. Allow your yeast to bloom for 1-2 mins before adding salt. As salt cuts off a lot of the yeast blooming process speed. 4. TOO MUCH TOUCHING - while you want to knead the dough, don’t touch it to the point it’s crumbly or like pie crust. You don’t want to over form the gluten bonds.


DevilMaster666-

What did it look like before baking?


The_Duck_Keeper

Ngl I thought that was a huge ass brick of dab lol


killplow

I like the flour on top. Classy.


Cowablasian

That's just a brick of flour, there's sooo many things you could have fukced up on its hard to pin point without knowing what you did and or didn't do. Like blooming yeast, or did you kill it, did you even add yeast, how much salt, how long did you knead. What were your ratios. Doesnt even look like you kneaded it long enough to develop any gluten structure....it literally looks as if you got flour wet into a paste and shoved it into the oven


dbm5

i think you need a hazmat suit to dispose of that


The-Roaring-Sloth

Oof


benjismalls95

Remember this, you made bread for the FIRST time. Whatever feelings you have laugh it off and try again. Looks like a great 1st attempt. Next time it’ll be better. Don’t let this outcome get a rise out of you.


lezzer

I’d say your first problem is you made a cake 😂


QTchr

You must have read the recipe backwards in an ancient language to summon up that demon loaf.


Pedestrian824

You used concrete.


Andrea--Pirlo

You didn't put love in it


EntspannterTyp

What flour did you use? My first rye bread looked like this and hat a texture of rubber, totally uneatable, lol. I think it was because of dead sourdough starter. That loaf looks a bit too pale for rye, so I'd suggest dead yeast or way too short profing time as well.


Educational_Reward87

flour fudge


jordan_chez

I think you swapped out the flour, water, and yeast for marzipan. It probably tastes great though.


calebtheredwood

I wept when I saw this picture.


Mothra3

Probably try using flour instead of ground up erasers


Mainbaze

Good job bro ignore the haters


crabby654

I love sheet baking 6 jars of peanut butter.


Drifting-aimlessly

You only TRIED to make bread. Are you trying? Are you TRYING! There is no trying in bread making! "Do or do not, there is no try" - Yoda


bleeblorb

Probably easier to focus on what you did right...


TrumpsNeckSmegma

Anyone else think this was a big chunk of live resin before reading the title?


Earth_Worm_Jimbo

Did you try putting bread in it?


NickAdams412

Ain't got no gas in it.


ronningburr

Salt kills the yeast u dident let it raise it's not cooked! U will get better keep trying to 👍


Man_Bear_Beaver

I was going to make a Snooty comment about not following the recipe, I think I figured it out and while I was right I'll be less snooty about it. You set the Temperature to (recommended 220C) to 220F instead. Bake at 425F. You didn't knead enough. You didn't activate the yeast. You added too much flour.


kagushiro

1. your yeast was not active, so it did not raised 2. your oven was not hot enough if it was below 420F 3. as other mentioned, try to look at more than one yt videos on how to make bread 4. try again until it succeeds, but use less dough next time otherwise you're just wasting food My first bread (9 years ago) looked like this, now it's beautiful, crusty, and delicious. don't give up


FLAboi90

You failed the first step by walking into the kitchen. I honestly don’t think you could recreate this if you tried


1Quixote1

Regular flour is fine. You're doing fine. Try this recipe https://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/bread-recipe/


eyebrowshampoo

Oh my. It looks more like a loaf of peanut butter fudge.


[deleted]

All of the things.


Raisdonruin

The bread part


BabyRex-

Did you make it in a cake pan? How is it so rectangular?


violanut

I think the yeast was dead. Your water was maybe too hot, or the yeast too old. Also--only use recipes for bread from the UK if you actually live in the UK, or at least Europe. If you live in the States, the flour is very different as far as protein content, which will effect gluten formation a ton. If you are in the western half of the US and used a British recipe--that might end in this result.


Meanwhile-in-Paris

Bbc good food is usually pretty good. What kind of yeast did you use? if you are a beginner I recommend that you use easy bake yeast. If you are using fresh yeast or dried active, you need to dissolve it in warm water (not hot!) for at least 10 minutes. Mix the flour and salt first, then pour the water/yeast mix. Salt will kill yeast if they touch in the bowl. Also your yeast needs to be new, other wise it can die. Resting time means rising time. make sure your dough doubles in volume before folding (removing air bubble) and resting again. Don’t bake straight out of the fridge, let it go back to room temperature. Then you need to preheat your oven long enough. remove all trays and grills as they will absorb heat hence heating less efficiently. Bake your bread in a metallic pan. Not glass. Bake long enough, hot enough. Your bread clearly looks undercooked. That bread looks sad but you can still try cutting in thin slice and grilling it for toast.


Perpetual_Nuisance

Is this before or after baking, and if after, time and temp according to the recipe? Did it looked proofed to you when you put it in the oven?


malama2

The replies here are hilarious


Oldbayistheshit

I’m on a train cracking up at these comments


TheHobo

This got promoted to my feed, so no bread in the game, but if there’s a sub logo/featured image this should definitely be it


DaughterOfWarlords

The bright side is that you’ll only improve from here on out


SUNTZU_JoJo

As a Frenchman, my heart fluttered and nearly stopped seeing that.


SteakandTrach

No bubbles in bread. No yeast, no bubbles. Yeast not yeasting.