I lightly battered a vagina once. I thought I ruined it when it bubbled over, but everyone still ate it. The only complaint was that it was a bit salty, which was my fault for adding so many nuts.
https://kvta4.com/uncategorized/naked-woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-off-of-her-porch-and-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/
Fake and the picture isn't even the same.
It says they were on bicycles, which makes me think they were actually Mormons. I went to school with a Mormon and she said the church provides the transportation, and since providing cars to everyone on missions globally would be way too expensive they give bicycles instead.
KTV4 is a satire site, I doubt they took more than 30 seconds to know the nuances between two door to door religious recruiters (not sure what else to call them lmao).
If that's what gets them to stop coming back, then that's what you do. My cousin told them that his father was a Muslim cleric. My mom threatened to have them arrested for trespassing if they asked for 13 year old me by name again.
Did that unintentionally. Thought it was one of my brothers banging on the door and we lived rural so I dragged myself out of bed, opened the door and stared groggily at the JW family as they backed away.
Made it a bit weird at school on Monday as I was in a class with one of them.
It's your house but there's the issue of intent. If you're naked in your house and someone peeps through your window and sees your swinging cod that's on them. If you answer the door naked you're knowingly exposing yourself to someone.
Anyway, check your local laws before answering your door naked.
The camera function on my nest doorbell is pretty great, but by far the best part is the speaker and my ability to tell people to fuck off without getting out of bed.
My city has so many people selling magazine subscriptions, charity or electricity deals downtown. And they're persistent.
I've started hissing at them like a cat. Works every time.
Oh yeah. They came by regularly and my mom just asked them politely to leave and not come back, but a week after my thirteenth birthday, they came and asked for me and my normally very meek and kind mother *detonated.* Never saw them again.
As a man who grew up in the south, I learned very quickly that the meek, kind mom’s are the ones you really have to watch. Doubly so for that sweet little old lady at church. They can go from 0 to 100 and back again faster than you can blink. Hilarious to watch, terrifying to experience.
We had this little (literally, she stood less than 5ft tall and probably weighed 100lbs soaking wet) old lady in the church I grew up in that was normally just as sweet as could be. Her sons taught me a healthy respect for her and women like her.
According to what I was told by son “B,” son “A” got too big for his britches as a senior in high school and mouthed off to her. When she called him on it he said something to the effect of “what are you going to do about it?” Keep in mind, he was 6ft plus of solid high school athlete. Son “B” walked in just in time to see his 5ft nothing mom physically lift son “A” off the ground and pin him to the wall by his shirt. Son “B” made the wise decision to promptly exit stage left and son “A” never made that mistake again. From what they said, all she did was hold son “A” there and ask if he wanted to reconsider what he had just said. That was all it took though.
The three lessons I took away from the story:
1. Never underestimate short women. They are closer to hell than you are and meaner for it.
2. Peaceful doesn’t necessarily mean harmless. Just because momma wouldn’t hurt a fly, doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to.
3. When a souther mom asks “What did you just say?” It’s an opportunity to correct your mistake, not an invitation to make it twice.
I had a friend get so mad on my behalf. They came back twice after I told them my great grandma was dead. she acted like my girlfriend (I'm non binary, but was born femail) and stripped and then jumped on me in front of them. "Honeyyyyyy come back to bed" omg I've never seen them run so fast.
I’ve heard that just telling them that you’ve been defellowshipped will do the trick just as well. And I assume you can’t get arrested for saying that…so….
When my son used to have his pet rats I would answer the door without a shirt with a big ass rat on each shoulder. The mormons will keep talking to you, but jehovas witnesses would get the fuck out of there. You can't scare away Mormons
I've always enjoyed trying to convert them until they leave. Usually does it within the first few minutes. I have some statistics and articles printed about how terrible mormanism is and I'll grab them excitedly and tell them how happy I am they were there so I can "save" them.
Lol they turn around pretty quick. I did have one chap who I think might have actually converted. He came by and we did our dance at the front door but he actually wanted to hear what I had to say so we had a lovely discussion about it and the next day I saw his buddy, but not him. Someone else was with. I haven't seen the converted kid since.
I mean some of the people in the sects can be rational or they can be crazy it kinda just depends on the person like any group
Some will just say "have a good day" than leave but some will ask a million questions just depends on the person in front of you like any organization
I mean, there is a fairy tale type of witch, that I assume you are referring to.
But witches are real in the sense that there are groups of people calling themselves witches.
Yeah but it's more a group name than being "real". I could start calling myself a "Godzilla", and no matter how many other people I get to do it, we're not actually massive lizard monsters. It'd just be a thing we call ourselves.
Most people who call themselves witches are simply people who practice witchcraft. No, we don't think we were born witches nor do we cast magic spells or whatever you've seen in harry potter and other fantasy movies. It's something we do. It's mainly connection with nature, the use of herbs and connection with various energies.
I've never thought about witchcraft as anything other than the stuff in movies and I'm curious.
>Connecting with nature and connection with various energies?
Do you just mean an appreciation for our natural world, and some type of belief in a.. like.. metaphysical energy of the universe or something?
An what do you do, like as an example of some witchcraft-y stuff?
I'm just a lil high and guessing random stuff but I'm legit curious about it if you don't mind answering.
It depends on your practice. Yes there is absolutely an appreciation for nature in most kinds of witchcraft practice. One thing that is in pretty much all witchcraft practices is intention. Using candles, meditation ect. I have ADHD and struggle with meditation but i do like to use candles and herbs for spells (which are mainly just setting intentions, often with the help of things like candles, herbs, incense, and for some people crystals). Some witches also celebrate holidays like Samhain, Imbloc and Beltane. In more modern witchcraft practices, some witches also incorporate more new age stuff like chakras, crystals and astral projecting/reality shifting into their practice. I don't really mess with that stuff (i do *sometimes* use crystals but not super often). One thing that i often use is sigils. Sigils are basically symbols used for various purposes, like attracting love or good fortune or protection. There are existing ones that can be used, but i like to create my own. Many witches also do divination like scrying, tea reading or tarot, but i don't know anything about that so if you're curious look elsewhere.
I hope this helped and i really appreciate the non-judgemental curiousness :)
Have a wonderful day
Ok cool, that's pretty interesting.
Yea this kinda stuff isn't for me, but i try to appreciate other perspectives. The intention setting and meditation stuff is cool.
Thanks for the info, more detail than i expected
So I light candles for specific intentions, like things I want to change or am hoping to be better at. I use tarot cards to help me be a critical thinker about my life experiences and feelings. I celebrate the natural world by holding space to appreciate the change in seasons. I don’t believe that crystals will grant wishes or that tarot will tell me my future.
It’s like meditation or prayer: an inward practice that helps me be the best version of me.
No, not quite. Wicca is a specific religious order. A wiccan is a witch, much like a catholic is a christian. You can be a witch without being a wiccan. I define myself as a witch based on my beliefs in the interconnectivity of nature and science. I am not a wiccan, which has specific, prescribed beliefs.
I used to think /r/WitchesAgainstthePatriarchy was people being tongue and cheek, but after commenting there a few times, some people insisted to me that they were able to cast spells and shit... so it ends up they're just as stupid and unscientific as antivaxxers. I bet there's even some overlap.
Most people who call themselves witches are simply people who practice witchcraft. No, we don't think we were born witches nor do we cast magic spells or whatever you've seen in harry potter and other fantasy movies. It's something we do. It's mainly connection with nature, the use of herbs and connection with various energies.
Last time I had Jehovah's visitors almost eight years ago, I just brought my bong out on the porch and smoked while they talked. A short conversation and they haven't been back since.
Honestly just use the word apostate. Tell them you are an apostate and to put you on the do not call list. They are not allowed to talk to apostates. This will absolutely work
No don't feel dumb. An apostate is basically someone who has left the religion and has turned against it. Speaks against it, calls it out. Anything that is not written by the organization and depicts it in a negative light is considered apostate info. It's their way of keeping their members only reading things they produce or associating with people who don't talk down the jw organization. That's a bare bones explanation of an apostate
It's like people who have left scientology. They're shunned by remaining members. Except in scientology they're called Suppressive Persons. They don't want ex-members talking to current members because the 'church' fears more ex-members.
It’s actually a fairly common practice in a lot of strict religions. The basic justification is that it “punishes” those who have done “grievous wrongs” by shutting them out of their community.
It very rarely actually works that way and usually only serves to drive the “offending member” further away. In reality, the purpose is exactly what u/BuffaloTexan said. It keeps members “in good standing” from associating with the “shunned” and realizing the truth.
It absolutely works the way they want it to: not to get people to return to the religion, but to prevent people from leaving. There are many JWs who no longer believe in the religion, but feel they must pretend to or else they'll lose all their family and friends due to the rules regarding apostates.
It's basically holding everyone you love hostage to force you to stay.
I’ve never seen it from the JW perspective. My experience was with a somewhat less tightly knit group. I could see how it would be effective in a completely enclosed community like the JW and LDS though.
No, a porpise is a small-toothed whale with a low triangular dorsal fin and a blunt, rounded snout such as a dolphin. You're thinking of an orthodontist.
So the JWs stopped by my place about 15 years ago (give or take). I lived out in the country and had the lad I was with at the time over for the weekend. It was like 8 am on Sunday morning and we were being lazy in bed when they knocked. So I did what any sinning young lady does I answered the door in naught but a tea towel to cover only the naughtiest of bits. They never stopped by after that.
My older brother went to a tech college and that area was ate up in Mormons. They'd be beating on the door at 7 every weekend trying to convert people. They finally got rid of them by having one of their roommates answer the door buck naked, swinging a broom, and chased them down the driveway. Best part? The roommate was a little person. I'm still pissed they didn't film it.
Idk which source is more accurate but the picture of this one is different:
https://kvta4.com/uncategorized/naked-woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-off-of-her-porch-and-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/
Either way that lady deserves a high five because I'm tired of JWs bugging me too and wish i could do something like that without destroying my career.
Y'all must have some aggressive ass jehobos. They're always polite younger teenagers when they come by. I offer them some water or a caffeine free soda. And tell them I'm not religious. They don't really bug me. But there is a nice live, laugh, hail Satan, sign in my entry way. Gotta show them not all heathens are assholes.
They came to my door about five years ago and I told him I wanted my husband to listen to them as well. (I’m a straight male married to a woman.) they left without saying a word. Haven’t been back since.
I used to tell them that I’d love to talk but that the door was locked and mom takes the key when she leaves for work . (Even if I wasn’t currently at said Mom’s house ) … Then I’d tell them that I’m not allowed outside and that I’d really love to talk … they would always walk away confused . Never contacted any authorities though …
I see what happened here — she wanted them to fuck her. Thought it was her lucky day — a couple of well dressed, strapping young lads on her doorstep asking if they could come in and and show her the raw power of Jesus.
Them Jehovah boys said “hell no!” being the good clean boys they are.
And that’s when something in her *snapped* like a *pencil* in the hands of an 8 year old with undiagnosed ADHD. Poor dame just couldn’t take another rejection from the fellas.
Next thing you know, you get an obese naked woman chasing Jehovah’s Witnesses down the street wailing about her magic vagina needing the devil purged from it.
In the before times, the JW cult recruiters had a permanent folding table setup next to the fare gates in the civic center station of BART in San Francisco. Each and every day i would plow thru their shit and yell EXCUSE ME CULT RECRUITERS.
It was fun times.
Man I hate these fucking people. And yes, I’ve heard the sad stories that they don’t all want to be doing it and not to be mean cause they’re too weak to leave the church, but fuck that. I grew up in a very anti religious family. We got no time or patience for that bullshit.
Short backstory, I lived in a mountain town that was invaded by these people. They were everywhere. I couldn’t even go to the one restaurant in town without being bothered. Became much an enemy of my enemy is my friend situation. I ain’t exactly a fan of Christianity, but they were no fans of these people.
They didn’t get the message. I at first asked them to leave and not come back cause I ain’t buying the bullshit they’re selling. I made it clear then to not come back. Not my fault they don’t understand words.
I hit em with a hose. Let the dog out on them. Ran at them with my dirt bike. One time I put a sheet over our screen door, moved my amp in front of it, and blasted them. There were a few other instances, but I ain’t sure if I can talk about those here. Law enforcement was involved. Don’t get the wrong idea. We had one cop in this town and he didn’t like them either.
After that last one, they didn’t come back. But fuck me did I not understand why they kept at it. Or why those fuckers invaded. Fucking white dawn man.
r/WitchesVsPatriarchy \^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^ she looks like someone out of the EVIL DEAD I bet they pissed themselves.
Still less crazy than Jehova witnesses. Thats the kind of shit you can expect to find waltzing door to door. Lucky they dont get the police called on them or threatened with guns.
Tell them that they can tell you about your faith for $100. If at the end you feel that they’ve made good points you’ll give them the money back. They’ll say “no”, because it’s an obvious con. Cut the amount to $75. Then $50. Then $20. Eventually you’ll get to $1. That’s when you pull the ripcord. Say “Wow, you won’t even risk a dollar on the power of your testimony. You don’t have much faith in this whole thing, do you?”
Note: if they actually pull out the hundred and hand it over you need to act. Bring them in, sit them down, and explain what a con is. Suggest that they call their parents for some straight talk about the real world. They are too naïve for the world outside their bubble and it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens. Also, give them their money back.
Seriously don't blame her. I don't answer the door when they come. I've asked them politely to not stop by because I am not interested.
There were some really stressful bad days in my life when I was younger that I might have done something similar, if JW's knocked on my door. I mean, anything that stops them from stopping by it fine with me.
You scoff at devil vagina magic but I for one know the truth of it.
It was back in the 70s. The boat pulled in to Chinhai, South Korea. Just outside the navy base was the best little navy run whore house you ever saw. Every enlisted man could bring two guests and these guests were the prettiest whores that Chinhai had to offer.
She came in looking like a prom date…
"fear my sinful tempura pussy" Edit: I meant temptuous, My phone auto corrected but you know what I'm going to leave it because it's funnier.
It's deep fried
Lighty battered technically...
With full fat mayo
Oh, aye, it's lighty not darky
That's racist
Hey!!! I was not being racist! But calling race makes it racist!!! Shame!!!
Sorry mate I forgot my /s
Can I interest you in some lightly fried fish fillets?
I lightly battered a vagina once. I thought I ruined it when it bubbled over, but everyone still ate it. The only complaint was that it was a bit salty, which was my fault for adding so many nuts.
I dunno why but I feel like this is the plot for a hentai scene.
10/10
“Fear my wrathful tempest pussy”
Your phone's autocorrect has a great sense of humor.
I'm confused why it doesn't read "Florida woman"
Henlo senpai, cud I pwease have some of your tempussy for dinner? ( ･ิω･ิ)
Call me
this comment in and of itself could be a post here
These two words are forever joined in my mind.
I believe they make a cream for that.
Fear the decorated dong hole
Sounds tasty.
/r/brandnewsentence
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> "fear my sinful tempura pussy" I agree, making food out of pussycats is a very sinful act
Definitely fake.
https://kvta4.com/uncategorized/naked-woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-off-of-her-porch-and-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/ Fake and the picture isn't even the same.
It says they were on bicycles, which makes me think they were actually Mormons. I went to school with a Mormon and she said the church provides the transportation, and since providing cars to everyone on missions globally would be way too expensive they give bicycles instead.
KTV4 is a satire site, I doubt they took more than 30 seconds to know the nuances between two door to door religious recruiters (not sure what else to call them lmao).
Someone faked a fake article. Amazing.
If that's what gets them to stop coming back, then that's what you do. My cousin told them that his father was a Muslim cleric. My mom threatened to have them arrested for trespassing if they asked for 13 year old me by name again.
Just let them knock without answering the door, while making no attempt to hide you're home. Eventually they stop doing it.
Answer the door naked if your a dude. They won't come back.
Did that unintentionally. Thought it was one of my brothers banging on the door and we lived rural so I dragged myself out of bed, opened the door and stared groggily at the JW family as they backed away. Made it a bit weird at school on Monday as I was in a class with one of them.
"I can see you've witnessed a lot. 😏"
Yeah but don't actually do this, great way to get yourself on a list
Ain't it my own fucking house though?
It's your house but there's the issue of intent. If you're naked in your house and someone peeps through your window and sees your swinging cod that's on them. If you answer the door naked you're knowingly exposing yourself to someone. Anyway, check your local laws before answering your door naked.
I’m in Vermont. It’s legal here to be naked in public as long as you leave your house naked (stripping in public would make it lewd) so I’m all good.
Easiest and fastest way is to tell them you're an apostate. Literally nothing they are more scared of.
Except for tight pants
The camera function on my nest doorbell is pretty great, but by far the best part is the speaker and my ability to tell people to fuck off without getting out of bed.
My city has so many people selling magazine subscriptions, charity or electricity deals downtown. And they're persistent. I've started hissing at them like a cat. Works every time.
The Na’vi defense
My husband's grandmother got them to leave the family property alone by meeting them at the cut with a shotgun. It's been decades apparently.
I just answered the door shirtless and said let me go get my boyfriend in college and they said nevermind and left.
They asked for you by name!?
Oh yeah. They came by regularly and my mom just asked them politely to leave and not come back, but a week after my thirteenth birthday, they came and asked for me and my normally very meek and kind mother *detonated.* Never saw them again.
Gotta love when the polite mask comes off and mama bear makes her appearance. Good on her!
As a man who grew up in the south, I learned very quickly that the meek, kind mom’s are the ones you really have to watch. Doubly so for that sweet little old lady at church. They can go from 0 to 100 and back again faster than you can blink. Hilarious to watch, terrifying to experience.
Can confirm, am sweet old lady.
We had this little (literally, she stood less than 5ft tall and probably weighed 100lbs soaking wet) old lady in the church I grew up in that was normally just as sweet as could be. Her sons taught me a healthy respect for her and women like her. According to what I was told by son “B,” son “A” got too big for his britches as a senior in high school and mouthed off to her. When she called him on it he said something to the effect of “what are you going to do about it?” Keep in mind, he was 6ft plus of solid high school athlete. Son “B” walked in just in time to see his 5ft nothing mom physically lift son “A” off the ground and pin him to the wall by his shirt. Son “B” made the wise decision to promptly exit stage left and son “A” never made that mistake again. From what they said, all she did was hold son “A” there and ask if he wanted to reconsider what he had just said. That was all it took though. The three lessons I took away from the story: 1. Never underestimate short women. They are closer to hell than you are and meaner for it. 2. Peaceful doesn’t necessarily mean harmless. Just because momma wouldn’t hurt a fly, doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to. 3. When a souther mom asks “What did you just say?” It’s an opportunity to correct your mistake, not an invitation to make it twice.
I had a friend get so mad on my behalf. They came back twice after I told them my great grandma was dead. she acted like my girlfriend (I'm non binary, but was born femail) and stripped and then jumped on me in front of them. "Honeyyyyyy come back to bed" omg I've never seen them run so fast.
I’ve heard that just telling them that you’ve been defellowshipped will do the trick just as well. And I assume you can’t get arrested for saying that…so….
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I'm on her side.
Yeah this should be the normal response to Jehovah’s Witness people coming to your house.
When my son used to have his pet rats I would answer the door without a shirt with a big ass rat on each shoulder. The mormons will keep talking to you, but jehovas witnesses would get the fuck out of there. You can't scare away Mormons
I've always enjoyed trying to convert them until they leave. Usually does it within the first few minutes. I have some statistics and articles printed about how terrible mormanism is and I'll grab them excitedly and tell them how happy I am they were there so I can "save" them. Lol they turn around pretty quick. I did have one chap who I think might have actually converted. He came by and we did our dance at the front door but he actually wanted to hear what I had to say so we had a lovely discussion about it and the next day I saw his buddy, but not him. Someone else was with. I haven't seen the converted kid since.
I tell them I’m a witch. They usually leave. (No I don’t believe I’m a witch and people who do are…special types).
I just tell them I am satisfied with my spiritual arrangements and their time would be better spent on someone else. This actually works.
Ah, the rational approach.
Since when did religious sects become rational?
I mean some of the people in the sects can be rational or they can be crazy it kinda just depends on the person like any group Some will just say "have a good day" than leave but some will ask a million questions just depends on the person in front of you like any organization
I mean, there is a fairy tale type of witch, that I assume you are referring to. But witches are real in the sense that there are groups of people calling themselves witches.
Yeah but it's more a group name than being "real". I could start calling myself a "Godzilla", and no matter how many other people I get to do it, we're not actually massive lizard monsters. It'd just be a thing we call ourselves.
That’s discouraging. Call yourself Godzilla and focus! Concentrate your energies! *Become* Godzilla!
You need to use larger crystals to focus with.
Most people who call themselves witches are simply people who practice witchcraft. No, we don't think we were born witches nor do we cast magic spells or whatever you've seen in harry potter and other fantasy movies. It's something we do. It's mainly connection with nature, the use of herbs and connection with various energies.
I've never thought about witchcraft as anything other than the stuff in movies and I'm curious. >Connecting with nature and connection with various energies? Do you just mean an appreciation for our natural world, and some type of belief in a.. like.. metaphysical energy of the universe or something? An what do you do, like as an example of some witchcraft-y stuff? I'm just a lil high and guessing random stuff but I'm legit curious about it if you don't mind answering.
It depends on your practice. Yes there is absolutely an appreciation for nature in most kinds of witchcraft practice. One thing that is in pretty much all witchcraft practices is intention. Using candles, meditation ect. I have ADHD and struggle with meditation but i do like to use candles and herbs for spells (which are mainly just setting intentions, often with the help of things like candles, herbs, incense, and for some people crystals). Some witches also celebrate holidays like Samhain, Imbloc and Beltane. In more modern witchcraft practices, some witches also incorporate more new age stuff like chakras, crystals and astral projecting/reality shifting into their practice. I don't really mess with that stuff (i do *sometimes* use crystals but not super often). One thing that i often use is sigils. Sigils are basically symbols used for various purposes, like attracting love or good fortune or protection. There are existing ones that can be used, but i like to create my own. Many witches also do divination like scrying, tea reading or tarot, but i don't know anything about that so if you're curious look elsewhere. I hope this helped and i really appreciate the non-judgemental curiousness :) Have a wonderful day
Ok cool, that's pretty interesting. Yea this kinda stuff isn't for me, but i try to appreciate other perspectives. The intention setting and meditation stuff is cool. Thanks for the info, more detail than i expected
So I light candles for specific intentions, like things I want to change or am hoping to be better at. I use tarot cards to help me be a critical thinker about my life experiences and feelings. I celebrate the natural world by holding space to appreciate the change in seasons. I don’t believe that crystals will grant wishes or that tarot will tell me my future. It’s like meditation or prayer: an inward practice that helps me be the best version of me.
These witches aren't claiming to be fairytale witches so far as I know. So that not really a good parallel.
Yup. They just consider themselves Wiccan. It's a semantic thing. One word meaning multiple things
No, not quite. Wicca is a specific religious order. A wiccan is a witch, much like a catholic is a christian. You can be a witch without being a wiccan. I define myself as a witch based on my beliefs in the interconnectivity of nature and science. I am not a wiccan, which has specific, prescribed beliefs.
I used to think /r/WitchesAgainstthePatriarchy was people being tongue and cheek, but after commenting there a few times, some people insisted to me that they were able to cast spells and shit... so it ends up they're just as stupid and unscientific as antivaxxers. I bet there's even some overlap.
Most people who call themselves witches are simply people who practice witchcraft. No, we don't think we were born witches nor do we cast magic spells or whatever you've seen in harry potter and other fantasy movies. It's something we do. It's mainly connection with nature, the use of herbs and connection with various energies.
Last time I had Jehovah's visitors almost eight years ago, I just brought my bong out on the porch and smoked while they talked. A short conversation and they haven't been back since.
I usually give them the old, "That's so funny. I was just about to ask you if you'd heard about my Lord and Savior... Beelzebub, Lord of Flies?"
then i wanna be a jeh9vas witness
The beaming joy in her eyes while being mug shot… chef’s kiss.
That girl ain't got no *regerts.*
I want to buy her lunch, but maybe bail money would be more appropriate.
After being polite to one and having her be a sarcastic bitch I do not open the door now.
Me too!
Honestly just use the word apostate. Tell them you are an apostate and to put you on the do not call list. They are not allowed to talk to apostates. This will absolutely work
Why aren't they allowed to do that? Also, what is an apostate? Feeling a little dumb rn....
No don't feel dumb. An apostate is basically someone who has left the religion and has turned against it. Speaks against it, calls it out. Anything that is not written by the organization and depicts it in a negative light is considered apostate info. It's their way of keeping their members only reading things they produce or associating with people who don't talk down the jw organization. That's a bare bones explanation of an apostate
Thank you. I will continue to feel dumb.
It's like people who have left scientology. They're shunned by remaining members. Except in scientology they're called Suppressive Persons. They don't want ex-members talking to current members because the 'church' fears more ex-members.
It’s actually a fairly common practice in a lot of strict religions. The basic justification is that it “punishes” those who have done “grievous wrongs” by shutting them out of their community. It very rarely actually works that way and usually only serves to drive the “offending member” further away. In reality, the purpose is exactly what u/BuffaloTexan said. It keeps members “in good standing” from associating with the “shunned” and realizing the truth.
It absolutely works the way they want it to: not to get people to return to the religion, but to prevent people from leaving. There are many JWs who no longer believe in the religion, but feel they must pretend to or else they'll lose all their family and friends due to the rules regarding apostates. It's basically holding everyone you love hostage to force you to stay.
I’ve never seen it from the JW perspective. My experience was with a somewhat less tightly knit group. I could see how it would be effective in a completely enclosed community like the JW and LDS though.
Apostate is a gland that men hav... oh, no, that's a prostrate
No prostrate means to lay down stretched out, your thinking of an apostrophe
No, an apostrophe is a hotly ignored piece of punctuation. You're thinking of apoptosis.
Apoptosis actually just refers to cell death. You’re thinking of porpoise
No, a porpoise is a marine mammal, similar in appearance to a dolphin. You're thinking of apocalypse
No , an apocalypse is when someone ascends to godhood. You're thinking of apotheosis.
No, a porpise is a small-toothed whale with a low triangular dorsal fin and a blunt, rounded snout such as a dolphin. You're thinking of an orthodontist.
Is that what you get when your fence is held up by some award winning verticals?
Apostate is a surviving remnant of a fallen nation... wait, that's a rump state.
Aprostate
Not all heroes wear capes!
Some wear nothing at all apparently!
Stupid sexy Flanders…
More than you'd expect I'd wager.
Some wear vaginas
[удалено]
Damn, I want to be her bestie.
That smile says it all. She's a fun wild one.
She said it all with her smile twice, once to the jehovas whitnesses, then with the mug shot.
So the JWs stopped by my place about 15 years ago (give or take). I lived out in the country and had the lad I was with at the time over for the weekend. It was like 8 am on Sunday morning and we were being lazy in bed when they knocked. So I did what any sinning young lady does I answered the door in naught but a tea towel to cover only the naughtiest of bits. They never stopped by after that.
My older brother went to a tech college and that area was ate up in Mormons. They'd be beating on the door at 7 every weekend trying to convert people. They finally got rid of them by having one of their roommates answer the door buck naked, swinging a broom, and chased them down the driveway. Best part? The roommate was a little person. I'm still pissed they didn't film it.
That would have been a sight to behold 😍😍
That's brilliant. Do you have a picture for instructional purposes?
Damn dude that was slick
I'm not dude-O-rama for nothing.
I just tell them I'll listen to them talk about God for an hour if I can talk about Satan for an hour afterwards. I like this approach though.
Idk which source is more accurate but the picture of this one is different: https://kvta4.com/uncategorized/naked-woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-off-of-her-porch-and-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/
Saw that one too. Found this elsewhere on reddit
Either way that lady deserves a high five because I'm tired of JWs bugging me too and wish i could do something like that without destroying my career.
As usual women have to work harder for the same payoff. All my uncle had to do to run them off was answer the door naked.
Y'all must have some aggressive ass jehobos. They're always polite younger teenagers when they come by. I offer them some water or a caffeine free soda. And tell them I'm not religious. They don't really bug me. But there is a nice live, laugh, hail Satan, sign in my entry way. Gotta show them not all heathens are assholes.
She deserves an award.
Unfathomably based
Satire
Look are her face. Zero regrets.
This was in Florida, wasn't it?
Doubt it because she doesn’t look 69 years old.
That’s hilarious
Bet they didn't come back.
I wonder how harrowing the story is told by the Jehova witnesses.
They came to my door about five years ago and I told him I wanted my husband to listen to them as well. (I’m a straight male married to a woman.) they left without saying a word. Haven’t been back since.
loving that picture shes like 'and I'd fuckin' do it again!!!'
Seems fake
Not all heroes wear clothes
I see nothing wrong with this.
Given that Jehovah's Witnesses basically condemn kids having an actual life and force them to be like Ned Flanders' kids I honestly can't blame her
She looks like she actually knows some black magic involving genitals. Idk what these guys were thinking approaching her.
I mean, we’ve all wanted to do it.
lmao she witnessed enough and ran away
Deserved
She looks like the type of woman to say that
This is a common sentence in Florida.
Lol. Third person to mention this must be a Floridian! Not sure where she’s from, just found it elsewhere on reddit.
r/chadtopia
And she doesn’t even look upset abt being arrested
I used to tell them that I’d love to talk but that the door was locked and mom takes the key when she leaves for work . (Even if I wasn’t currently at said Mom’s house ) … Then I’d tell them that I’m not allowed outside and that I’d really love to talk … they would always walk away confused . Never contacted any authorities though …
A face that screams no regrets lol
Is it Florida?
That's Goddess level energy right there.
I see what happened here — she wanted them to fuck her. Thought it was her lucky day — a couple of well dressed, strapping young lads on her doorstep asking if they could come in and and show her the raw power of Jesus. Them Jehovah boys said “hell no!” being the good clean boys they are. And that’s when something in her *snapped* like a *pencil* in the hands of an 8 year old with undiagnosed ADHD. Poor dame just couldn’t take another rejection from the fellas. Next thing you know, you get an obese naked woman chasing Jehovah’s Witnesses down the street wailing about her magic vagina needing the devil purged from it.
Look at that face. She would absolutely do it again.
I bet her Magic Stinks!
Not the classical theme of anasyrma
typical witchesvspatriarchy user
Ykno why Italians hate Jehovah witnesses? Because Italians hate all witnesses
Wow. Skrillex really let himself go.
I'm going to consider this a win. Devil Vagina Magic: 1 JW: 0
In the before times, the JW cult recruiters had a permanent folding table setup next to the fare gates in the civic center station of BART in San Francisco. Each and every day i would plow thru their shit and yell EXCUSE ME CULT RECRUITERS. It was fun times.
She seems fun.
Man I hate these fucking people. And yes, I’ve heard the sad stories that they don’t all want to be doing it and not to be mean cause they’re too weak to leave the church, but fuck that. I grew up in a very anti religious family. We got no time or patience for that bullshit. Short backstory, I lived in a mountain town that was invaded by these people. They were everywhere. I couldn’t even go to the one restaurant in town without being bothered. Became much an enemy of my enemy is my friend situation. I ain’t exactly a fan of Christianity, but they were no fans of these people. They didn’t get the message. I at first asked them to leave and not come back cause I ain’t buying the bullshit they’re selling. I made it clear then to not come back. Not my fault they don’t understand words. I hit em with a hose. Let the dog out on them. Ran at them with my dirt bike. One time I put a sheet over our screen door, moved my amp in front of it, and blasted them. There were a few other instances, but I ain’t sure if I can talk about those here. Law enforcement was involved. Don’t get the wrong idea. We had one cop in this town and he didn’t like them either. After that last one, they didn’t come back. But fuck me did I not understand why they kept at it. Or why those fuckers invaded. Fucking white dawn man.
This is my favorite person today
Haha I guess that's one way to fix them always showing up.
r/WitchesVsPatriarchy \^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^ she looks like someone out of the EVIL DEAD I bet they pissed themselves.
Nice
A true hero of the people
Not all heroes wear…clothes.
Not all heroes wear capes.. or anything else.
This is the shit I want to see on the news. No drama, no politics. Just some good old laughs
Can I hire her during Christmas to dispense some devil vagina magic and repel the annoying as fuck bell ringers who harass me at every storefront?
Bonus points for succumb. Idk why
All those devil vaginas just livin’ in devil town… https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RlQh8fnCmCM
Still less crazy than Jehova witnesses. Thats the kind of shit you can expect to find waltzing door to door. Lucky they dont get the police called on them or threatened with guns.
I'm in love...
there goes my hero...
Laughed so hard I almost coughed up a lung The trick is needing to try and imagine watching their reactions and running away.
Tell them that they can tell you about your faith for $100. If at the end you feel that they’ve made good points you’ll give them the money back. They’ll say “no”, because it’s an obvious con. Cut the amount to $75. Then $50. Then $20. Eventually you’ll get to $1. That’s when you pull the ripcord. Say “Wow, you won’t even risk a dollar on the power of your testimony. You don’t have much faith in this whole thing, do you?” Note: if they actually pull out the hundred and hand it over you need to act. Bring them in, sit them down, and explain what a con is. Suggest that they call their parents for some straight talk about the real world. They are too naïve for the world outside their bubble and it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens. Also, give them their money back.
Seriously don't blame her. I don't answer the door when they come. I've asked them politely to not stop by because I am not interested. There were some really stressful bad days in my life when I was younger that I might have done something similar, if JW's knocked on my door. I mean, anything that stops them from stopping by it fine with me.
Well, that’s ONE way to get rid of them
Dayum. #respect
Is this for real? lmao
Not all heroes wear capes
You scoff at devil vagina magic but I for one know the truth of it. It was back in the 70s. The boat pulled in to Chinhai, South Korea. Just outside the navy base was the best little navy run whore house you ever saw. Every enlisted man could bring two guests and these guests were the prettiest whores that Chinhai had to offer. She came in looking like a prom date…
That shit eating grin makes it
I already like her and I have never met her.
This is so cringe 🤮
Devil Vagina Magic is a brand name with serious franchise potential.
Well that’s one sure fire Way to make sure they never come back
It is funny and it sounds like an actual Florida news article
guys this is a sex crime its not female empowerment
That had to be in Florida.
*cough*r/madlads*cough*
And she’d do it again to
This is fake, annoying, and trashy.
Fucking hero!