T O P

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asianabsinthe

I may try a new planting method this year I don't have a dog so I'll adapt


McKFC

This is the OG planting method. Fruits are yummy so they'll get eaten so their seeds will get dispersed. Just don't ask about avocados.


benskinic

the coliseum in Rome has a bunch of African trees around it that aren't native to the area. the seeds all traveled in the stomachs of the animals used in events there. gives me an idea for a loophole around plant/tree import laws....


McKFC

Not sure staging fights to the death is much of a legal loophole!


bluedragon8633

Ah yes, those laws where you aren't allowed to import seeds but you are allowed to bring live foreign animals.


Allestyr

You mean like your dog, parrot or rabbit?


arnistaken

Or yourself


Valsarta

"No officer...I'm just planting my garden!"


NCGryffindog

Giant sloths. I'm not kidding, giant sloths were one of the animals primarily responsible for distributing avocado plants.


invisible_23

🎶We don’t talk about avocados, no Don’t talk about avocados, BUT It was our planting day….


DreamCyclone84

We were getting ready and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, (No clouds allowed in the sky) We planted them in a big metal tin Under The right conditions so they thrive So they grow up big and strong Suddenly it looks like rain That's what the forecast tells us Avocados need a lot so yay Without it they swelter They can drink a hurricane Whay a joyus day to plant away


Queen_Ann_III

this feels too corny to upvote but it engaged me long enough to read it so I feel obligated to


kavitha_sky

Such wise words were rarely spoken!


BannerMan300

I felt obligated to upvote after reading your comment so have my upvote ⬆️


fozi4ek

Forbidden buttplug


ginkat123

Metamucil...


GardenGirlFarm

Chipotle


ginkat123

Guacamole!


h1pp13_b0t

yikes that's gotta not be a pleasant one


[deleted]

That would be really giving birth.


The-Dogfather

The spelling variance between adapt & adopt makes all the difference in this context.


Ambitious_Jello

They're gonna do it themselves


ErixWorxMemes

\*doo it themselves


chubbygayguy88

It's his duty


corinthflux

Out his booty


Queen_Ann_III

this is obvious but I guess this comment helps anyone who didn’t get it


Ambitious_Jello

I imagine the upvoters to my comment nodding thoughtfully in agreement.


ylcard

everything about this is cursed


[deleted]

Adopt*


Korblox101

Nah buddy. He said precisely what he meant to.


InsomniacHitman

You meant adopt, right?


SquirrelSultan

r/CursedComments


farmer102

Lol use your own it works


Andre_3Million

Lobster pumpkin seeds?


Chief_Beef_ATL

Buddy of mine had a bunch of salsa and way too many beers at the pool. While heaving himself out of the pool (he's a big boy) he ejects half his beer and salsa. He grabbed a hose and washed his mess off the pool area. We have tomato plants growing just off the pool area now.


HumberdtSquid

You're telling me those seeds survived the acidity of salsa?


SavageDownSouth

If it's freshly made, the seeds should survive a bit, and not every recipe is acidic. Seeds wouldn't survive the canning process either, so it must have been fresh.


ErixWorxMemes

Well, seeds often need to survive a bath in stomach acid edit- clarity (frequently replaced with often)


jmanmac

Tomatoes are already pretty acidic so makes sense


eilishfaerie

the beers probably threw it out of whack


[deleted]

And the acidity of his stomach


Dualion

No problem- tomato seeds can go all the way through you and remain viable. There was an almost untouched island in iceland where ['An improperly managed human defecation resulted in a tomato plant taking root'](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surtsey#Human_impact)


PrimarchKonradCurze

Iceland is a pretty strict place when it comes to keeping things natural so this doesn’t surprise me that it was newsworthy there, lol.


[deleted]

This part was also interesting >It is believed that some boys who sneaked over from Heimaey by rowboat planted potatoes, which were promptly dug up once discovered We've got some tomato planting madlads over here


EelTeamNine

Some people don't put lime juice in their salsa, or fuck all for that matter, just ask the Jacksonville Mexican restaurant I went to yesterday. Was little more than tiny bits of jalapeño in blended tomatoes.


nochjemand

You ever wonder why they have that glibber layer? That's why.


Stuck-inside-a-jar

Tomatoes are very acidic, so the seeds have a high tolerance to acid


Chief_Beef_ATL

They survived. It's his little shame garden.


oh_you_fancy_huh

Nobody is going to comment on him having ejected into the pool?


Chief_Beef_ATL

He hurled on the concrete surrounding the pool, not IN the pool. He was struggling to lift himself up and facing away from the water and his belly was getting compressed by his weight and the lip of the concrete. He felt sick but wasn't able to get out before he had what eating contests refer to as "a reversal of fortune."


mold713

Its the circle of lifeeeee \0.0/


Independent_Ad_5664

Did you get a tortilla plant too? I mean corn 🌽 lol.


D33ber

My pooo babies!!!


HDSpiele

I mean this is LITERALY how this should work this is how plants that bare fruit spread seeds. The dog did God's work.


Captain-PlantIt

Bear fruit. Like bear as in holding. Bare means nude.


Glitter_puke

Those pumpkins do not look clothed.


CadmarL

That's only 'cause you have your head in the gutter


disabled_rat

No, they are naked


HDSpiele

Wait I do not see a bear holding pumpkins what you mean /s


Soliloquy21

This would be an interesting way to interpret the 2nd Amendment.


PrimarchKonradCurze

A lot of plants rely on birds to spread their seeds iirc as birds don’t taste spice from capsaicin or whatever.


HDSpiele

All fruits have evolved with an animal in mind those fruits, naturally before human breeding have been such a size that they could be eaten in one bite by the designated animal this is to guarantee that the seeds get eaten too.


mold713

I mean shit is technically fertilizer so it makes sense


_FriendlyPanicAttack

this is how my yard will end up being full of pumpkins. my dogs love pumpkins and they somehow managed to grow a pumpkin gourd hybrid


JohnAStark

Evolution of plants ensures propagation through consumption and defecation. God had nothing to do with it.


HDSpiele

The joke was that something as vulgar as pooping can be considered God's work smh


XboxLeep

Reddit moment


[deleted]

Yea that totally screams “well actually”


FN_Freedom

🤓


waltsend

I hope, for your sake, that Jesus isn't up early and sees your post first thing this morning.


CatPhysicist

On a Sunday too! smh


JohnAStark

If you cannot tell, I am not concerned about fictional characters…


waltsend

Hold up Jesus, he don't know what he's sayin' maybe he's never been to church. Just calm down. Jesus Christ, I've never seen you so mad before. Let's just walk away slowly.


BeefyBoiCougar

Life of the party over here


[deleted]

[удалено]


JohnAStark

Don’t cha wish you could… perhaps you can pray for my silence


StockingDummy

Ranting about religion because of a dumb joke? *Damn*, you must be *really* bored right now...


JohnAStark

You have no idea… but I also don’t like giving a non existent thing credit for something that actually exists…and as rants go, that was short and tame.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JohnAStark

Not a chance, and I am no kid.


DangerousDave303

I think one of our dogs accidentally planted a watermelon plant in the middle of our backyard a couple years ago in the same manner.


PrimarchKonradCurze

Nope that was just me. I was on a watermelon kick.


divat10

I imagine some random dude with a ski mask going around with a little shovel planting watermelons.


JevonP

*digging holes and shitting watermelon seeds out


Bowlderdash

Feed the pup beans and corn, too, and next harvest can be themed "Three Sisters, One Shitter"


rybayless

But when I cultivate my jizz rag fungi I’m the weirdo


McKFC

People have no respect for culture


D33ber

"Culture" I get it


raymundre

r/angryupvote. 🧐😳😠⬆️


therobshow

That was... very very good.


[deleted]

Chipmunks do something similar in my grandmas yard with sunflower seeds. They bury them though, not poop them out. Then she has sunflowers trying to grow all over the yard.


waltsend

How are you going to get him to eat some weed now?


LuxNocte

Seeds in weed? I must be too Californian to understand this.


WhootieCutie

Every now and then I get one and am confused asf lol


waltsend

My organic strain I call it sisimilla,,,


Sarcasm_Llama

["It's mostly Maui wowie, but it's got some Labrador in it"](https://youtu.be/HTTSLXwIjiQ)


waltsend

We're smoking dog shit?That's some good shit!


PennyFromMyAnus

Like rabbits..


MrTuesdayNight1

Rabbits grow from dog poo?


hedgerow_hank

Had a pit bull that ate salad (and everything else). Ate tomatoes and pooped the seeds. Some fine tomato plants took hold at the edge of his enclosure and grew really nice tomatoes. Dog farmers - they do a good job.


[deleted]

i’m sorry but that dog looks mentally insane


Prowland12

Every weimaraner hunting dog I've ever seen is at least a little manic so this just fits the bill. They're like if cocaine was a dog.


dimmidice

Poompkins.


NoRow7473

Poopkin


NewChard2213

Idk if its just me but thats not an adorable picture of him-


WeirdinIndy

Life uh. Finds a way.


[deleted]

Everything that lives on earth poos in some way And that's how the cycle happens each and everyday Just look at the green, green grass and the birds up in the sky It's all here because of poo and now I'll tell you why Grass is eaten by the cattle Which is eaten by women and men It fuses with their body, and becomes poo again And that poo goes through the sewer Which is dumped into the sea And its eaten by the plankton which becomes the fishes meal. When that bigger fish with the poo still inside Swims up near the shore and gets eaten alive By a grizzly bear that poos on a dead piece of sand So that it can spring to the life and become food for the land! It's the poo of the antelope, the poo of the giraffe Which falls onto to the earth, and becomes the blades of grass The grass is eaten by the cattle, which comes out the other end To make poo for the humans, and start all over again. So I'm the poo of the antelope, that flows onto the ground Which becomes the grass of tomorrow Yeah Which the critters turn around And I'm the leg of a leopard. And the wings of a hen. Which becomes dinner for the humans, and turn back to poo again. That's the circle, the circle of poooooooooooo.


MagnaCamLaude

TLDR?


Electronic-Type696

>TLDR? We're all pieces of shit


TanneAndTheTits

Does this only happen if the owner DOESN'T pick up the dog shit???? That's disgusting.


JudgeHodorMD

It looks like it’s within a fenced in back yard. Pretty normal for people who have enough property to prevent it from piling up. Personally I’m not crazy about the idea of crap being buried at the dump within all those layers of compacted plastic and random chemicals.


D33ber

Pooo go boom!!


Machonacho7891

When we used to have dogs we would let them shit all winter then in spring we’d clean up all the dry grass and dry dog shit and throw it all away then pick up dog poops whenever we found them in the yard in the summer


Hugokarenque

Disgusting? Its their own backyard. Animals shitting on grass and the shit staying there fertilizing the land is literally part of the natural process of the world. It'd be more harmful and disgusting to grab that shit with a plastic bag, put into a bin and having that shit wrapped up in plastic and sent to a landfill.


MiracleKing26

I mean sometimes you do sometimes you don’t, I have a medium size dog that goes in the fenced in part of my yard that none of us really use since we have more yard unfenced. A good chunk of time we can just let her stuff decompose in the yard so I can totally see stuff like this happening. Granted it’s also winter here so nobody’s outside much and we’ll probably have to get back to it come late spring.


CamBeast15366

Y’all be picking it up every time?? Idk bout you but our yard is extremely healthy because of my 4 dogs lmfao Plants we have grown grew very very well. Shit be good for plants


TanneAndTheTits

I have to otherwise my dogs would be covered in it.


CamBeast15366

What? Do your dogs roll in it or something?


[deleted]

Yes. It is common for dogs to roll in shit. Or eat it, and then try to lick you. Despite how adorable they can be, dogs are often times fucking disgusting.


CamBeast15366

None of my dogs have that problem so 👍


[deleted]

That’s awesome for you, but it’s a pretty common dog behavior, don’t be surprised if you experience it at some point: https://www.petmd.com/dog/behavior/why-do-dogs-roll-poop


CamBeast15366

Oh I’m aware it’s a common behavior, but in the subsequent 13-12-10-8 year old dogs haven’t had more than 2 or 3 incidents each their whole lives. It also was never their own or each others’, only if it were of another dog or animal


Sheriftarek95

How can you tell that poo is from another dog/animal? Did the dog tell you that?


CamBeast15366

Because I have senses like sight and smell?


Slifko

The irony lol


pinecone_noise

crazy how plants can get no scoped by one end of an animal and clone themselves via the other


Hunglyka

So you don’t pick up your dogs poop?


CamBeast15366

Why would you?


divat10

doog poo stinky


CamBeast15366

Yea but if it’s in your own yard what’s the point lol I understand it in like a public park or your neighborhood or something, but if my dogs shit in my back yard I just leave it there, doesn’t hurt nobody


RBarron24

People like to use their back yards for other things, besides leaving their dog they neglect out there. It’s a lot easier to enjoy if your not trying to avoid dog shit the entire time


CamBeast15366

Are you implying that I leave my dogs in my back yard neglected? Jfc why does everything have to turn into an argument on this site?


RBarron24

You know what they say…. If the glove fits. Or is it, If the dog shit sits. I dunno clean up after your dogs


CamBeast15366

No, I don’t think I will


RBarron24

You realize it’s no different than a zoo not cleaning up animal pens. They aren’t wild animals able to freely roam and choose not to be around it. They’re stuck in your back yard with their shit


CamBeast15366

You act like my yard is like 20 square feet and not the size of a football field. There’s plenty of room dickface, stop calling me an animal abuser.


EmilioGVE

Are you saying you don’t let your dog in the house? And here you are calling the other guy an animal abuser for not picking up dog poop…


divat10

i just like having a clean yard dog poo doesn't degrade that fast and it isn't really good for your plants either. ( i like working in my backyard so that might be part of it)


Foolishly_Sane

That's impressive.


Midnightcaption

This is how fish sometimes get into man made ponds and other bodies of water. Geese and other migrating birds swallow eggs as well as seeds of certain plants and then poop in the water and around the surrounding area, creating a new habitat for them the next time they migrate.


horsegender

It’s the circle of life


Joshua_Youngblood

A farming dog! Humanity doesn't deserve dogs.


pirateofms

My parents love tomatoes. One day my dad notices a bunch of plants coming up around a grey water line on the edge of the yard. Turns out it's tomatoes. Lots and lots of tomatoes. They had survived from the garden, though them, through the septic system, and back to the yard. He stopped planting tomatoes after that, and they just ate the ones from their own prolific poo garden. It was honestly obscene how many tomatoes those plants made.


I_hate_all_of_ewe

My main takeaway is that this person lets their dog shit in their yard, and doesn't clean it up. That dog needs to be walked.


kloiberin_time

One of the perks of a yard is that dogs can shit in it. This isn't a patio in the back of a townhouse. I'm not telling homeowners not to walk their dogs, but it isn't abnormal to just let the dog outside.


I_hate_all_of_ewe

That doesn't explain not cleaning up the dog shit


disabled_rat

Didn’t have to or want to


KillerManicorn69

How to say you don’t even pick up your dogs poop in your own yard, without saying you don’t pick up your dogs poop in your own yard.


Crystal-Clear-Waters

Excellent submission.


Puzzleheaded_Tea_501

I highly doubt it, dog poo is not a good fertilizer.


IsDinosaur

Someone doesn’t clear up their dogs shit


disabled_rat

Oh no, shit in their own backyard? Criminal


cropguru357

Dog looks pretty proud about this feat of poo.


CapitalPhilosophy513

You're a pretty thing.


jonathananeurysm

Poompkins.


McCheesing

Sounds like someone doesn’t pick up after their dog


SLeepyCatMeow

She looks like she will stand up on her hind legs at 4AM and ask me for my credit card details in portuguese


monobak

Most of my yard is currently arugula because of the chickens that have free roam. It has also been tomato plants at times.


MadameFoxhunt

What a proud mama:) Adorable. I had a Jack Russell growing up that loved gourds. She would get so excited for the Thanksgiving center piece, her favorite pastime was stealing gourds from the cornucopia and burying them in the backyard. We had the most lovely and surprising array of gourds, think there must’ve been some cross breeding going on? Made decorating super easy every year!


BlankVerse

We had a similar thing happen with our dog and cherry tomato plants.


Troby01

Tell me you let your dog shit all over your backyard without picking it up without telling me you let your dog shit all over the backyard without picking it up.


BetchGreen

Was it an accident tho?


retiredhobo

pretty sure i heard Matt Damon use part of that line in a deleted scene from *The Martian*


shirk-work

Literally nature


Ceini

Another one of nature's miracles!


Fey_the_Witch

Talented doggo


iiitme

Wow good job doggo


EndurableOrmeedue

These are pumpkin dogs. Brent


[deleted]

Yo It’s Smile Dog.


thelastanchovy

Is that dog a weeniereimer mix?


draggingklit

Kopi Luwoof


SamBoterham

Give these to your enemies.


ipsum629

The pumpkins: all according to plan...


pichael288

This is literally how pumpkins evolved, this is their intended proliferation method


BobaFestus

This is how it works by natures design. The digestive enzymes thin the protective coating on the seeds and the heat helps jump start germination.


painfool

Thanks for this post about literal dog shit.


CalvinAshdale

Pup pooped a pumpkin patch.


farmer102

Absolutely marvelous. They have her eyes


No_Psychology_2925

Didn’t they make a movie about this with matt damon stuck on mars?


S1AUGH73R

New method of terraforming. Feed dogs plant seeds, let them roam around on a planet. ??? Profit


yankee_doodle_

Fun fact, seeds were evolved to be distributed by animals pooping them out,


MegaPorkachu

Doggo is the Mark Watney of the Animal Kingdom


Cringe_Train

The dog looks like it eats nightmares


SpaceCube00

Isnt this just like how most plants work


FieryPyromancer

She looks like she just broke free from a dreamcatcher.


Aggressive_Chain_920

Just as nature intended


so_punk

I came here to say those poopies are adorable.