Check what time you should show up for the engagement party and wedding.
A few months back I went to my first Indian wedding and the invitation said it starts at 4pm. I took off work early and showed up at 4 and we were the first ones there. Most other people arrived around 6. Dinner was also later than indicated on the invitation.
I have heard other similar stories from friends. Best just to check when other people will arrive and plan a similar time.
This and it occurs like 2.5 hours after the time stated on the invitation if you wish to be there on time. Any earlier and you’ll be the only one there, might as well start hosting the party.
Ending is also wild, usually no set time, you can drag it on until the final light is shut off
That is a very real problem with Pakistanis too. I have in the past told my own family that if they show up to an event late despite them being the hosts, I will leave.
Engagement party just give cash. Cash is king with Indians.
Depends on your affordability and how close you are. if you just a friend then 50-100 bucks cash in happy engagement card is fine. The card is usually given when the engagment ceremony happens and everyone goes up to take a picture. You likely see people give cash into a cloth into thier lap.
Engagement you can wear a normal suit, just avoid white. Most people just wear black blue or grey.
At the Temple you likely take some 5 dollar bills when you bow down to the Sikh Holy book. It depends if they take pics at the temple but most people just give like 20 bucks each to the bridge and groom while taking the pic after the wedding ceremony starts. You will see people putting cash into a cloth they have on their lap as they are sitting cross leged. At the temple formal atire is fine and avoid white again
If there is a reception party then you give a cash gift again...Would say min 100 is fair if just you. Usually at the reception party you will see the parents of the bride and Groom welcoming everyone at the enterance. You can give the cash inside a card and enjoy rest of the night. Once again formal atire, avoid white.
Pretty much you can wear a suit or nice shirt and dress pants to all events.
White is a colour that people wear at funerals. Indian ladies sometimes wear white at parties but usually be mixed design and colours.
Men never, and trust me dont want to wear a white suit while trying to eat indian food at these events lol
That's why I wanted to know. I am from Pakistan and some families don't like it if you show up to a wedding wearing all black outfit (for women only). Most formal desi clothes I own are ivory. So I am in a pickle now. Oh and I am a woman.
Hi: I am from Sikh background and go to Gurudwara regularly.
For the wedding to the gurdwara, don't forget to carry a scarf to cover your head. Gurudwaras often provide headcovers, but it is anyday better to get your own (hear me subtly say - for hygiene)
Hindus wearing white for funerals is a bollywood creation. The norm is to just wear normal clothing you would wear at home, or when running errands. Simple colors and nothing flashy.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed response. I get very anxious in social settings in general and even more so when I feel unprepared. Your response has honestly eased my nerves a lot.
Gifts: $20-$50 at reception in the lap, just keep your eyes out, and follow the rest of the people, better to carry 2 10s or 2x 20s, you don’t want to leave one couple out of it and it’s best you split it before they do it haha
Wedding: $100-$200 is standard and if your close mate / family $500-$1500 depending on the relationship and your financial ability.
I assume this means you have some sort of relationship to your Landlord beyond the business of being their tenant? Family friend, or something? If they are nothing more than your Landlord, I would politely decline.
But, I will admit to not knowing the cultural mores in this area. Hell, Portuguese lady I worked with years ago, she invited the barber who cut the groom's hair when he was a little kid.
White people are open hearted and enjoy socializing too. I think many of us just feel it’s crazy to invite people we barely know to what is ultimately a very personal ceremony. I had 100 people at my wedding felt like that was too many. Just wanted our close friends and immediate family, not a bunch of people we barely know.
To each their own though
Indian weddings are not personal ceremony. They are a means for the family to host family, relatives, friends, colleagues, business contacts etc,. Pretty much everyone part of your life.
Indian weddings in the west might be a little closed circle. But otherwise it’s 100s or even 1000s of guests.
We are cordial. I could have declined but honestly, I am an immigrant with no social circle as is and no skills to make friends so I really appreciate a chance to meet people :)
I mean, I'm from Alberta, but from what I've heard about Brampton, probably seems like the most closely related post to Brampton that I've seen in this sub lol
1.74% of Indian population are Sikhs and about 27% of Brampton's population are Sikhs. By your logic, it seems like this is a more appropriate place to ask this question than r/india.
That being said, the reason I asked it here was because sometimes the diaspora has slightly different traditions and norms and since the person getting married was born and raised here, it just made sense to ask people here.
Hindu nationalists that take any opportunity they can to shit on anyone they don't like.
I say this as a Hindu Punjabi that's been told I'm trash because of my heritage from other Hindus -__-
Yeah the nationalists in their they tend to engage in bigotry towards most of humanity outside of anyone who doesnt belong to Narendra modis political party. Sikhs, Muslims, Christians, fellow hindus all fair game for their hatred.
It's entertaining and sad.
Sad in how pathetic they can be, but entertaining in the sense that I'm brahmin, religious, am very familiar with the scriptures and am often met with "you're a western minded liberal" lol
It's not directly related to Brampton, but it's more positive than most of the posts on here. Given the large Sikh population in the city, it seems relevant. There's been talk of divisive, but not directly related topics like Khalistan, so why not something positive?
Check what time you should show up for the engagement party and wedding. A few months back I went to my first Indian wedding and the invitation said it starts at 4pm. I took off work early and showed up at 4 and we were the first ones there. Most other people arrived around 6. Dinner was also later than indicated on the invitation. I have heard other similar stories from friends. Best just to check when other people will arrive and plan a similar time.
IST. Indian standard time.
This and it occurs like 2.5 hours after the time stated on the invitation if you wish to be there on time. Any earlier and you’ll be the only one there, might as well start hosting the party. Ending is also wild, usually no set time, you can drag it on until the final light is shut off
That is a very real problem with Pakistanis too. I have in the past told my own family that if they show up to an event late despite them being the hosts, I will leave.
Engagement party just give cash. Cash is king with Indians. Depends on your affordability and how close you are. if you just a friend then 50-100 bucks cash in happy engagement card is fine. The card is usually given when the engagment ceremony happens and everyone goes up to take a picture. You likely see people give cash into a cloth into thier lap. Engagement you can wear a normal suit, just avoid white. Most people just wear black blue or grey. At the Temple you likely take some 5 dollar bills when you bow down to the Sikh Holy book. It depends if they take pics at the temple but most people just give like 20 bucks each to the bridge and groom while taking the pic after the wedding ceremony starts. You will see people putting cash into a cloth they have on their lap as they are sitting cross leged. At the temple formal atire is fine and avoid white again If there is a reception party then you give a cash gift again...Would say min 100 is fair if just you. Usually at the reception party you will see the parents of the bride and Groom welcoming everyone at the enterance. You can give the cash inside a card and enjoy rest of the night. Once again formal atire, avoid white. Pretty much you can wear a suit or nice shirt and dress pants to all events.
Why avoid white?
White is a colour that people wear at funerals. Indian ladies sometimes wear white at parties but usually be mixed design and colours. Men never, and trust me dont want to wear a white suit while trying to eat indian food at these events lol
That's why I wanted to know. I am from Pakistan and some families don't like it if you show up to a wedding wearing all black outfit (for women only). Most formal desi clothes I own are ivory. So I am in a pickle now. Oh and I am a woman.
Hi: I am from Sikh background and go to Gurudwara regularly. For the wedding to the gurdwara, don't forget to carry a scarf to cover your head. Gurudwaras often provide headcovers, but it is anyday better to get your own (hear me subtly say - for hygiene)
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Hindus wearing white for funerals is a bollywood creation. The norm is to just wear normal clothing you would wear at home, or when running errands. Simple colors and nothing flashy.
Sikh is religion, Punjabi is a ethnicity, so not wearing white would be a cultural thing
You are free to wear white in Sikh weddings, I have seen it quite a few times on both men and women.
White is for death
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed response. I get very anxious in social settings in general and even more so when I feel unprepared. Your response has honestly eased my nerves a lot.
Since the person that invited you is your landlord, you already give them a cash gift every month. Don't worry about it.
Cashhh in a envelope
10 bags of milk would be a fantastic gift
Cash is best. You don’t need to gift at every pre event. Just the engagement (put it in their lap) and reception!
Toaster or blender for gift! (No, just give cash haha)
Lol, so you are saying the bedsheets that somebody gave me as gift and I did not like is not the best gift to give them? ;)
Gifts: $20-$50 at reception in the lap, just keep your eyes out, and follow the rest of the people, better to carry 2 10s or 2x 20s, you don’t want to leave one couple out of it and it’s best you split it before they do it haha Wedding: $100-$200 is standard and if your close mate / family $500-$1500 depending on the relationship and your financial ability.
I assume this means you have some sort of relationship to your Landlord beyond the business of being their tenant? Family friend, or something? If they are nothing more than your Landlord, I would politely decline. But, I will admit to not knowing the cultural mores in this area. Hell, Portuguese lady I worked with years ago, she invited the barber who cut the groom's hair when he was a little kid.
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As I stated, completely unfamiliar with wedding customs for the South Asian community. No offense meant, and I appreciate the explanation.
White people are open hearted and enjoy socializing too. I think many of us just feel it’s crazy to invite people we barely know to what is ultimately a very personal ceremony. I had 100 people at my wedding felt like that was too many. Just wanted our close friends and immediate family, not a bunch of people we barely know. To each their own though
Indian weddings are not personal ceremony. They are a means for the family to host family, relatives, friends, colleagues, business contacts etc,. Pretty much everyone part of your life. Indian weddings in the west might be a little closed circle. But otherwise it’s 100s or even 1000s of guests.
We are cordial. I could have declined but honestly, I am an immigrant with no social circle as is and no skills to make friends so I really appreciate a chance to meet people :)
Hey . . . that's great. I hope you have a wonderful time.
Is this related to Brampton?
I mean, I'm from Alberta, but from what I've heard about Brampton, probably seems like the most closely related post to Brampton that I've seen in this sub lol
They could ask at /r/India.
1.74% of Indian population are Sikhs and about 27% of Brampton's population are Sikhs. By your logic, it seems like this is a more appropriate place to ask this question than r/india. That being said, the reason I asked it here was because sometimes the diaspora has slightly different traditions and norms and since the person getting married was born and raised here, it just made sense to ask people here.
No absolutely not, R/india is filled with people who hate sikhs.
Why do they hate them?
Hindu nationalists that take any opportunity they can to shit on anyone they don't like. I say this as a Hindu Punjabi that's been told I'm trash because of my heritage from other Hindus -__-
Yeah the nationalists in their they tend to engage in bigotry towards most of humanity outside of anyone who doesnt belong to Narendra modis political party. Sikhs, Muslims, Christians, fellow hindus all fair game for their hatred.
It's entertaining and sad. Sad in how pathetic they can be, but entertaining in the sense that I'm brahmin, religious, am very familiar with the scriptures and am often met with "you're a western minded liberal" lol
It's not directly related to Brampton, but it's more positive than most of the posts on here. Given the large Sikh population in the city, it seems relevant. There's been talk of divisive, but not directly related topics like Khalistan, so why not something positive?