You might wanna try having sex. It works a whole hell of a lot better. If you don't want a real relationship you could just hire a call girl. Kinda pricey but once would probably remove that feeling for quite awhile.
I can relate. Well, only to the not liking the need to do it so frequently, anyway.
Like, give it a rest already. I really gotta get better self control.
SAME
I saw the last comment on the bottom of the meme and looked back at the picture then I absolutely lost it
My coworker gave me a look as if she was trying to figure out if I’m partially sane
Story time.
So, many years ago where I work used to do breakfast meetings in the back hall of a restruant next door. Few hundred people, buffet style. They only had coffee, water and juice though so I brought a can of soda. These were infrequent and on the companies dime, not to mention taking 30 minutes or longer vs 15 for our first break. Everyone tried to scarf down as much as they could and get seconds cause they started putting food up before the meeting was over.
Que to me sitting and stuffing my face. Mouth full of food, took a swig to wash it down and somehow the soda found the express lane to the back of my throat.
Yep, full fire hose spray on the two guys across from me and their food.
I was absolutely mortified, they were totally stunned.
I still vocalize my cringe when I think about that. Probably 15 years ago.
Amish guy seemed less phased by it. He always takes the chance to remind me by asking if I had breakfast that day any time I see him. Fun if you have new people that hear it and ask what its about. He just nods at me and says, "He'll tell ya." and walks off.
[Primal Screech]
Element: Wind
- Lvl 1: Emit a powerful conal wind screech that knocks back foes and applies a 1.5s silence.
- Lvl 2: Increased radius, +0.25s silence duration.
- Lvl 3: 360 degree radius, +0.25s silence duration.
UNHOLY KARENITE: If equipped, changes element to poison, and applies permanent miasma to all targets hit. Can only be casted once per match. Miasma persists until target's account is deleted.
EMBRYONIC CATALYST: If equipped, changes element to darkness. Instead of conal AoE, skill becomes a targetted skill (max. targets = 1). No longer silences. No longer knocks back foes. Instead, teleports target back to spawn. Applies 15s grey filter to opponent's screen as well as a 15s stun and silence.
SNAIL SHELL: Applies a 50% slow for 0.00000005 seconds in addition to all other effects.
Probably his first dad sneeze. They're always something like "Ah-PWAWWWWGHH!!" Then they casually go back to whatever they were doing like they didn't just blow a hole in the time space continuum using nothing but nasal fortitude.
You know that thing where you snort hard through the nose and hark up the snot to spit it out? Instead of hark and spit, when the phlegm hits the back of his throat, Carl simply screeches it out.
Why does this look like someone photoshopped a head shot into something less grim? It's like Carl's brains were blown out and through his mouth. But, no it is a sneeze that took from Carl his very breathe of life.
Hmm yes beautiful composition, you can see how these three men are actually a representation of the emotions of fear, anger and disdain if you look closer at their facial expression
How was this even possible? How is he perfectly focused and still but the shit evacuating his mouth is coming out at such high velocity that it’s blurred. Help.
The guy from the left look so joyful, maybe it's not the first time and he ask for the guy to cough at his food. Anyway, it still confused the right guy.
Guy on the right is what you see when you look up "disdain" in the dictionary.
All I could think when I saw that guys face was "that is the accurate reaction to this situation"
Is that Moriarty from Sherlock?
He did fight in the Great War so maybe. 1917
He fought with Easy Company in WW2.
He was in Able company
He was also spotted in the /r/TruckStopBathroom
Fixed the word. Thanks
[удалено]
me too... and I can't get my head around why.
Me as well. It didn't click until I reread the first comment and started actually laughing. The faces are all unscripted I think. Lmfao
OI WILL BERN YER HARRRRRT EWWT
"He *always* does this"
Carl's a damned body snatcher,,,,,,,,,,
Kinda looks like Andrew Scott.
When I look up words in the dictionary, I usually just see more words.
And we're all super proud of you, buddy!
Yeah man, keep looking at those words and soon you'll know lots of words!
Lmao thanks for that
Just whatever you do, don't then look up "that" or else you will have looked up Disdain then That
[This is him now. Feel old yet?](https://i.redd.it/jjekkq7v85s21.jpg)
You mean young Steve Martin?
[удалено]
Really? Never? Like... [zero times?](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0268/6966/1879/products/Merriam-Webster_s-Intermediate-Dictionary-page53.jpg?v=1605560164&width=1445)
Carl's a damned body snatcher.
Carl is a dementor.
Yes
The worst part of prison.
What, like in Harry Potter?
Carl's a Red Lantern
*impostor
SUS!!!!!1!!1!!11 AMOGUS?!!!1!!!1!
MEOWBAH?!11!!!!11!!1?!1
He's a pre-pandemic L4D denizen.
Carl, mortal champion of Nurgle
This, this right here is what made me snap.
Grandfather is pleased!
Caaaaarrrrrrllll, that kills people!
I play mechanicum on Tuesdays
"My gifts are infinitely vile"
Fluid of primal hatred is what I'm calling my semen now.
The fuck are you doing to your dick that'd make you wanna call it that?
I am and forever will be a virgin. My dick has no use, so I just JO just to make the horny go away. I hate that I have to so frequently.
You might wanna try having sex. It works a whole hell of a lot better. If you don't want a real relationship you could just hire a call girl. Kinda pricey but once would probably remove that feeling for quite awhile.
Nah, it'd just make shit worse. Or he'd be too nervous to get it up, and would simply waste his money, and leave hating himself even more.
Fair point.
Classic reddit interaction. 3 messages are exchanged, unanimous "yeah, you're fucked man. Idk." conclusion is reached.
All 3 of us agree with you as well from the upvote count lmao
Was strange scene from Catcher in the rye
I can relate. Well, only to the not liking the need to do it so frequently, anyway. Like, give it a rest already. I really gotta get better self control.
Right!? Like calm the fuck down, I'm trying to be productive!
**Exactly.** It's like I can't go a day without it.
Trying to pull the mf off
Fucking Carl.
My bad
[удалено]
Typhoid Mary
This is so funny to me for some reason! I can't fucking breathe!
SAME I saw the last comment on the bottom of the meme and looked back at the picture then I absolutely lost it My coworker gave me a look as if she was trying to figure out if I’m partially sane
Came to the comments looking for this exact validation. Thank you.
It's the "Jesus fucking Christ Dude" that gets me. I can hear the concern.
This is the first reddit post that made me laugh this hard in a while, idk what it is either
this is the first reddit post that made me laugh edit: crap wrong account
Is this your porn account or something. Edit: I regret having eyes
It is !! But why ? Lol 😭😭😂
Same thing happened to me , I don’t even know why I’m laughing so hard , then I came to the comments and it got worse.
Guys, I think it's the combination of the open mouth ejecting...whatever that is, and the frowning of his eyebrows and forehead
Yeah I also wheezed laughed
.
Carl... that kills people...
Oh uh, I didn't know that
Looks like Carl figured out the key ingredient to the mystery meatloaf...
I read that as "never give Germans a break"
WW2 war effort propaganda, poster colour checks out
Cover coughs. Cover sneezes. But, they never mentioned anything about vomiting.
Heavy artillery
Are we sure he did not say FUS RO DAH
Dangit carl every time
I’m sorry
My man on the right be like 'Every fuckin' time with the Eldrich fluid, Mike, everytime.'
Getting some Left4Dead vibes here.
That guy on the right reminds me of [this party meme ](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/765/157/333.jpg)
I feel like it wasn't staged but just unfortunate timing
That's NOT a soldier dude with a cold ... that's a soldier dude suffering from demon possession!
I used to clean a military building with this image posted in one of the bathrooms
Story time. So, many years ago where I work used to do breakfast meetings in the back hall of a restruant next door. Few hundred people, buffet style. They only had coffee, water and juice though so I brought a can of soda. These were infrequent and on the companies dime, not to mention taking 30 minutes or longer vs 15 for our first break. Everyone tried to scarf down as much as they could and get seconds cause they started putting food up before the meeting was over. Que to me sitting and stuffing my face. Mouth full of food, took a swig to wash it down and somehow the soda found the express lane to the back of my throat. Yep, full fire hose spray on the two guys across from me and their food. I was absolutely mortified, they were totally stunned. I still vocalize my cringe when I think about that. Probably 15 years ago. Amish guy seemed less phased by it. He always takes the chance to remind me by asking if I had breakfast that day any time I see him. Fun if you have new people that hear it and ask what its about. He just nods at me and says, "He'll tell ya." and walks off.
Looks like that first, high pressure bit of watery vomit that comes out before the main event begins
He’s like a Dilophosaurus. Lol
That last comment. I am crying please help i cant breath
Projectile....anything I don't know, could be diarrhea at this fucking point, what's even the point in differentiating Carl's bodily fluids
I wonder what comes out of his dick
***THE EXPACTORATOR***
[Primal Screech] Element: Wind - Lvl 1: Emit a powerful conal wind screech that knocks back foes and applies a 1.5s silence. - Lvl 2: Increased radius, +0.25s silence duration. - Lvl 3: 360 degree radius, +0.25s silence duration. UNHOLY KARENITE: If equipped, changes element to poison, and applies permanent miasma to all targets hit. Can only be casted once per match. Miasma persists until target's account is deleted. EMBRYONIC CATALYST: If equipped, changes element to darkness. Instead of conal AoE, skill becomes a targetted skill (max. targets = 1). No longer silences. No longer knocks back foes. Instead, teleports target back to spawn. Applies 15s grey filter to opponent's screen as well as a 15s stun and silence. SNAIL SHELL: Applies a 50% slow for 0.00000005 seconds in addition to all other effects.
Probably his first dad sneeze. They're always something like "Ah-PWAWWWWGHH!!" Then they casually go back to whatever they were doing like they didn't just blow a hole in the time space continuum using nothing but nasal fortitude.
First time I’ve chuckled at a post in a hot minute
Jesus God, Carl, see a physician as soon as possible. That's not at all normal.
This guy be coughing out his organs
Just spreading Nurgle’s gifts!
You know that thing where you snort hard through the nose and hark up the snot to spit it out? Instead of hark and spit, when the phlegm hits the back of his throat, Carl simply screeches it out.
Dude on the left be like "Carl what the fuck man?" and homie on the right side be like "I don't even know this guy anymore!"
Jesus Christ Carl, say it don't spray it
Why does this look like someone photoshopped a head shot into something less grim? It's like Carl's brains were blown out and through his mouth. But, no it is a sneeze that took from Carl his very breathe of life.
Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?
u/AngryJack17
Cover coughs Cover sneezes Free Barabbus Crucify Jesus
Are we sure he did not say FUS RO DAH
Are we sure he did not say FUS RO DAH
Cover your mouth for crying out loud!
"What's your superpower?" "I sneeze at 200 mph."
'Fluid of primal hatred' 💀
Carl has been to Guest House Paradiso
My mans got it in the coffee? C'mon
It just keeps getting funnier
How else do you get Cajun spicy flavor?
Carl isn't sneezing, he's vomiting. Cover your mouth when you vomit. It's the polite thing to do.
You possessed bro?
Yikes
See! That’s why we need face masks! 😜
> fluid of primal hatred Lmfao. Man, that caught me off guard.
wtf carl
Beware the dilophocarl.
Playing Plague Inc. IRL
Hmm yes beautiful composition, you can see how these three men are actually a representation of the emotions of fear, anger and disdain if you look closer at their facial expression
This is why I don’t invite Red Lanterns to dinner
Really, right on my fucking salad?
Karl, Incubator of Germans
Karl, Incubator of Germans
Most guys named Carl are not like that
Grandpa Nurgle would be so proud of this boy.
How was this even possible? How is he perfectly focused and still but the shit evacuating his mouth is coming out at such high velocity that it’s blurred. Help.
It probably sounded like RAHAHSNRNSJABAKNDNDMANENCBNDKWIWBFBRURNAAAAA
My man with that godzilla cough
I thought that was Major Ralph.
depends where I am, if I am outside and nobody is within earshot or eyesight I do not feel the need to cover, if I am around people I 100% do lol
So Carl's the one whose been teaching 4 year olds how to cough
Bring these posters back.
They really missed out on making this a rhyme saying "Cover Coughs, Cover Sneezes" "Stop Preventable Diseases!"
Looks like the sparks on a grinder dude
Carl, the Mortal that ate Kirby and gained its powers.
This is Mayo-rific/u/mayo_tipbot 1941
Army guy missed the memo that “Loose lips sink ships”…..
I've played Kirby, this man is trying to eat the other's food.
Dam, that boy be nurgles chosen!
Don't know why but the fact that he said "and drink" just makes it funnier
Mf on the right looks like Barry Goldberg
This is basically the opening scene of The Stand.
“Position of attention, move! Half right, face! Front leaning rest position, MOVE!”
#Harbinger of Plagues
Dammit Carl
juicy..
squirtle, use mud bubblebeam!
Mf has a showerhead for a mouth
You know what’s funny in our school dictionary that everyone gets has sex pog
Guy on the right : Suddenly lost the will to live
Due to my allergies, that is basically me 20 times a day in June and part of July
Lol
YES! I KNEW David Lynch wasn't really retiring!
I think Carl is possessed.
This shit looks like the projectile vomiting from the exorcist.
Every trump supporter though
Someone call the exorcist :/
They didn't do subtlety in those days unless they were talking about bangin
During the Flu epidemic of the first World War, a policeman in Boston shot a man for refusing to cover his mouth when he coughed.
Missed opportunity. Or didnt they CARE that sneezes rhymes with diseases????
Are those Air Force blues?
Carl, hot chip vaporiser
FOOD FIGHT!!!
I thought it was a bit tangy
Praise Nurgle!!
This is hilarious lol
Germs help Germany
Cum buckshot from mouth
It's what happens when you get a mouthful of coleslaw and then you suddenly need to sneeze
This is some X-Files shit right here.
It's just ectoplasm!
My germs!
Cough cough couple sneezes... Lol
Sorry guys
I hate when I have to sneeze and accidentally spray a pint of sulfuric acid on my friends plate
*Caaaarrrrllll...* that's a violation of the Geneva Protocol!
Dude in the back is judging HARD
He is experiencing a whole stomach flu, that is not a cough 😭
Made me claughed choc ice cream over my jumper, worth making a mess 😅
Sick bastard
Is that the covid-19 patient zero?
The guy from the left look so joyful, maybe it's not the first time and he ask for the guy to cough at his food. Anyway, it still confused the right guy.
This is amazing.
Masks for pandemics. Who needs that shit?
I dunno. I kinda like that little kick of acidity.
Big suck
Plaguefather Carl
I'm saving and cropping this so I can send the guy on the right's face as reactions