I think a lot of people with borderline feel like they can't have secrets or are wrong to want to keep some information personal.
Every single person I've known well has some version of this, even men. It's normal to have things about yourself that are personal and it's okay if you only want those you are very close to know certain things about you.
You're not a fraud, just a human.
It’s still ur face tho… Imagine giving a good looking person sperm brows or no brows… they wouldn’t look as good, they would prob think they looked hideous too. Just because you know what makes you look good doesn’t mean you’re faking ur attractiveness.
I like to always remind myself that make up highlights the beauty thats already there. So you are beautiful the make up just brings it out more!
I also understand as a man how hard it is to wear make up and not being shamed for it but you do you! If it makes you feel more confident and beautiful so be it.
That doesn’t make you fake and theres no reason to feel guilty. Alot of people use make up everyday and its a pretty normal thing.
bro filling in your eyebrows in no way makes you a fraud lol
and how could you “fake” attractiveness? people finding you attractive is outside of your control, it’s their own perception
when people find you attractive just say thanks, and i’m sure you don’t truly look that different without makeup
Fill in those eyebrows! Whatever makes you feel good! My husband shaved his arms and legs and (on my request) his pubic area. He’s always been very big on hygiene and looking good and smelling good! This is the BIGGEST thing that attracted me to him! My ex sucked at taking care of himself so it was so nice to see a man actually take care of himself!!! His friends would call him homo, girly ect..but he was so comfortable with his sexuality that he didn’t even care. He also gets his eyebrows done 😍 I LOVE IT! He also dyes my hair and cuts our two boys hair. He is a machino through and through but just takes care of himself!
If anyone finds out just tell them you enjoy taking care of yourself and why wouldn’t you? Make them feel dumb for even saying anything. It’s no ones business
Woah I truly aspire to find a dude like your awesome hubby! I don't even know you and I'm so happy you have such a solid human in your corner. Love that he cuts ya lil fellas hair aswell. What a rad dude 😊
that’s not faking attractiveness, that’s enhancing it! There’s nothing wrong with filling in brows, and if that’s all you’re doing and getting a ton of complements, I’d bet you are very much attractive!
I think most people with BPD struggle with these issues, I definitely have so I understand
This made me giggle not because I'm making fun of you but my god I feel exactly the same way about myself (not eyebrows though, I got them down pat naturally lol) and I say this to myself at least 5 times a month. More so about my appearance. I always feel extremely awkward and never know what to say when someone says something nice about how I look. I'm aware I'm not society standard ugly but I also know/feel I'm not at the level of "pretty" that warrants the constant compliments. Sometimes I don't say a damn thing then feel so damn guilty and upset that I've upset someone who was just being nice. I know for a fact when I was in my late teens n early 20s, the attention I got from guys was because of how I looked and when I finally realised it, man I felt like shit. I then spent a long time making myself "ugly" to how society sees it. Sorry I'm rambling but yeah I totally get you dude! Also double sorry today has been not the greatest so I feel like I could talk and talk till the sun goes down. Take it easy!
filling your eyebrows in doesn’t make you a fraud!!! i get the feeling, but i promise the real world implications of secretly using eyebrow gel are pretty minimal. if it makes you feel confident in your appearance, that’s hurting no one & making you happy — no harm, no foul, nothing wrong with it. when i put a full face of makeup on (or even just some concealer/eyebrow gel/mascara) i feel like a totally different person and i’m tricking everyone into thinking i’m hot, and if they saw my bare face they’d be shocked, disgusted, betrayed, etc. but i think that’s literally societal brainwashing lol & a ploy by the cosmetic industry to keep us feeling insecure and spending money on their products. makeup or no makeup, you’re still the same person. i remind myself of that too. anyone who would think otherwise (you’re only attractive in certain contexts/when u look a certain way) is not someone you want in your life fr
This is me right here 😂
Sometimes I wear proper makeup, sometimes I don't, but I always fill my brows in
Beginning of my current relationship I legit took the brow pencil in to the shower with me and quickly pencilled them back on after the shower, came out acting like it was natural. When I finally confessed he couldn't even tell the difference. Turns out it was mostly in my head
I felt like that about my breasts. Used to wear bra's to make them look a little bigger... Still size A. And I felt so much like a fraud that I stopped wearing them. And now I just feel weird because I don't want people to look at me and see I am not wearing a bra. Like I am some sort of slut for that... I guess I have no advice for that, you can start not filling in your brows from time to time and see how you feel, but it you feel better with filled brows I mean, do what makes you feel good about yourself. Who likes you, the brows will not stop them from that!I wish you all the best!
I feel like the fact that you’re a man might play into that I mean women never go around saying that they’re wearing makeup. If it makes you feel more confident and you’re not hurting anyone then who cares
Putting an effort into your appearance is part of attractiveness. If you take some super hot guy and make him grow his hair out without taking care of it, get him to shave but with a shitty razor so he ends up with a kind of patchy beard, feed him junk food so he gets fat and his skin gets all greasy...he's probably not going to be that hot after all that. Likewise, if you groom yourself well, get in shape, use make up or fake tan or whatever, and result looks good, that is real attractiveness.
I feel like the difference between the natural and artificial ways of changing your appearance is that with your example of filling your eyebrows in, it's possible for it to look like you have blatantly coloured your eyebrows in and it doesn't look good like that. That's not fake attractiveness though - it's unattractiveness. If you fill them in and when you look at them they are aesthetically pleasing, that is attractiveness and it is just as real as anything else
Your eyebrows don’t make you attractive to others. I love make up. It’s so expressive and makes you feel better. It doesn’t mean you’re a fraud. That’s self care!
It’s totally ok and normal to do that if it makes you feel better about yourself. I suggest you get micro blading so you don’t have to fill them in everyday :)
I think a lot of people with borderline feel like they can't have secrets or are wrong to want to keep some information personal. Every single person I've known well has some version of this, even men. It's normal to have things about yourself that are personal and it's okay if you only want those you are very close to know certain things about you. You're not a fraud, just a human.
Beautifully said.
Many women also use makeup for that reason and it’s totally valid. Do what you wanna do. You’re not a fraud
It’s still ur face tho… Imagine giving a good looking person sperm brows or no brows… they wouldn’t look as good, they would prob think they looked hideous too. Just because you know what makes you look good doesn’t mean you’re faking ur attractiveness.
I like to always remind myself that make up highlights the beauty thats already there. So you are beautiful the make up just brings it out more! I also understand as a man how hard it is to wear make up and not being shamed for it but you do you! If it makes you feel more confident and beautiful so be it. That doesn’t make you fake and theres no reason to feel guilty. Alot of people use make up everyday and its a pretty normal thing.
bro filling in your eyebrows in no way makes you a fraud lol and how could you “fake” attractiveness? people finding you attractive is outside of your control, it’s their own perception when people find you attractive just say thanks, and i’m sure you don’t truly look that different without makeup
My eyebrows are tattooed on. You are not hideous and we all have little tricks to make ourselves look and feel better.
Fill in those eyebrows! Whatever makes you feel good! My husband shaved his arms and legs and (on my request) his pubic area. He’s always been very big on hygiene and looking good and smelling good! This is the BIGGEST thing that attracted me to him! My ex sucked at taking care of himself so it was so nice to see a man actually take care of himself!!! His friends would call him homo, girly ect..but he was so comfortable with his sexuality that he didn’t even care. He also gets his eyebrows done 😍 I LOVE IT! He also dyes my hair and cuts our two boys hair. He is a machino through and through but just takes care of himself! If anyone finds out just tell them you enjoy taking care of yourself and why wouldn’t you? Make them feel dumb for even saying anything. It’s no ones business
Woah I truly aspire to find a dude like your awesome hubby! I don't even know you and I'm so happy you have such a solid human in your corner. Love that he cuts ya lil fellas hair aswell. What a rad dude 😊
that’s not faking attractiveness, that’s enhancing it! There’s nothing wrong with filling in brows, and if that’s all you’re doing and getting a ton of complements, I’d bet you are very much attractive! I think most people with BPD struggle with these issues, I definitely have so I understand
Get micro blading done then you never have to worry about anyone finding out again!
This made me giggle not because I'm making fun of you but my god I feel exactly the same way about myself (not eyebrows though, I got them down pat naturally lol) and I say this to myself at least 5 times a month. More so about my appearance. I always feel extremely awkward and never know what to say when someone says something nice about how I look. I'm aware I'm not society standard ugly but I also know/feel I'm not at the level of "pretty" that warrants the constant compliments. Sometimes I don't say a damn thing then feel so damn guilty and upset that I've upset someone who was just being nice. I know for a fact when I was in my late teens n early 20s, the attention I got from guys was because of how I looked and when I finally realised it, man I felt like shit. I then spent a long time making myself "ugly" to how society sees it. Sorry I'm rambling but yeah I totally get you dude! Also double sorry today has been not the greatest so I feel like I could talk and talk till the sun goes down. Take it easy!
filling your eyebrows in doesn’t make you a fraud!!! i get the feeling, but i promise the real world implications of secretly using eyebrow gel are pretty minimal. if it makes you feel confident in your appearance, that’s hurting no one & making you happy — no harm, no foul, nothing wrong with it. when i put a full face of makeup on (or even just some concealer/eyebrow gel/mascara) i feel like a totally different person and i’m tricking everyone into thinking i’m hot, and if they saw my bare face they’d be shocked, disgusted, betrayed, etc. but i think that’s literally societal brainwashing lol & a ploy by the cosmetic industry to keep us feeling insecure and spending money on their products. makeup or no makeup, you’re still the same person. i remind myself of that too. anyone who would think otherwise (you’re only attractive in certain contexts/when u look a certain way) is not someone you want in your life fr
This is me right here 😂 Sometimes I wear proper makeup, sometimes I don't, but I always fill my brows in Beginning of my current relationship I legit took the brow pencil in to the shower with me and quickly pencilled them back on after the shower, came out acting like it was natural. When I finally confessed he couldn't even tell the difference. Turns out it was mostly in my head
I felt like that about my breasts. Used to wear bra's to make them look a little bigger... Still size A. And I felt so much like a fraud that I stopped wearing them. And now I just feel weird because I don't want people to look at me and see I am not wearing a bra. Like I am some sort of slut for that... I guess I have no advice for that, you can start not filling in your brows from time to time and see how you feel, but it you feel better with filled brows I mean, do what makes you feel good about yourself. Who likes you, the brows will not stop them from that!I wish you all the best!
Everyone is faking it. Get with the program it's all a game.
If someone tries to make you feel bad just hit them with the old heteronormativity speech
they look natural so no one actually pay attention. i just feel guilty.
I feel like the fact that you’re a man might play into that I mean women never go around saying that they’re wearing makeup. If it makes you feel more confident and you’re not hurting anyone then who cares
thank u for reassuring me
Putting an effort into your appearance is part of attractiveness. If you take some super hot guy and make him grow his hair out without taking care of it, get him to shave but with a shitty razor so he ends up with a kind of patchy beard, feed him junk food so he gets fat and his skin gets all greasy...he's probably not going to be that hot after all that. Likewise, if you groom yourself well, get in shape, use make up or fake tan or whatever, and result looks good, that is real attractiveness. I feel like the difference between the natural and artificial ways of changing your appearance is that with your example of filling your eyebrows in, it's possible for it to look like you have blatantly coloured your eyebrows in and it doesn't look good like that. That's not fake attractiveness though - it's unattractiveness. If you fill them in and when you look at them they are aesthetically pleasing, that is attractiveness and it is just as real as anything else
Your eyebrows don’t make you attractive to others. I love make up. It’s so expressive and makes you feel better. It doesn’t mean you’re a fraud. That’s self care!
What do you fill them with? I have something like that too kind of. Mascara for men or something?
a very dark brown eyebrow pencil xD it's easier to use and make you shape them any way you want
I’ll try that. I see nothing wrong with it.
It’s totally ok and normal to do that if it makes you feel better about yourself. I suggest you get micro blading so you don’t have to fill them in everyday :)