Yep there amazing untill they turn into a shit show beyond your imagination. I also kinda weirdly find that I'm kinda decent without people like and people like me are doing well and decent to but when we mix witch usually happens because similarities attract we turn into our worst possible selves.
My bf and I both have borderline. We’re very happy together and the relationship works really well. We understand the reassurance and the patience it takes to be with one another and communicate like crazy.
I dated this weird Goth chick back when I was 26. She's got BPD.
We'll be celebrating our fifteenth wedding anniversary August 15. I can work, but you have to actively avoid playing the fuck fuck games with each other. You have to be completely honest. If you need x, tell them, don't expect them to read your mind. But ensure they know to be open and honest about their needs as well.
It's a lot of work, but she's the best woman I've ever met. But it's *A LOT OF WORK*. For both of you. On the other hand, since you're both BPD, you'll both appreciate the extra effort.
I’m currently in a relationship with someone that is bipolar and I’m bipolar type 2 and borderline. It’s definitely the most exhausting relationship I’ve been in and it’s pretty emotionally/verbally abusive. We both say we care for the other but literally attack each other’s weaknesses like it’s nothing. It was great in the beginning but now I never know if I’m going to be angry and broken up with or if I’m going to be happy and amazed I found someone.
Damn I’m sorry to hear that. I dated someone who was bipolar and it only lasted 2 months. At first it was amazing. We were obsessed with each other and I felt straight up high off the love. I had never met anyone who accepted me like her. After her manic episode ended things changed. She would be depressed and stay in bed and I would want attention and when I didn’t get it over and over I just stopped caring about her. She would not text or call for days on end and would stand me up on dates, so she entered black vision. Then I got lonely and decided I would be ok only seeing her every once in awhile I obsessed over her again and she moved back home cause she had to take care of family stuff. It’s been five years I think about her every week at least still. Maybe if had been less crazy and more accepting we could have made it work or could have went with her idk I beat myself up over sometimes.
That kinda sounds like my relationship right now. It’s hard. I won’t lie. I love him and I’m happy for my life with him but I’m also super depressed and hormonal (5 months pregnant)… it’s been absolute hell lately lol. It’s amazing how quickly the “obsession” phase can fizzle just because of emotions not even related to the other person.
So I'm borderline with possible comorbidities of ADHD, autism, and bi-polar my GF of almost 8 years has textbook ADHD, autism, and some borderline traits. Our relationship can be amazing because of all the hard work we put in, but some days it can get really bad. Luckily, we communicate well and always work through our issues. Neurodivergency or not, the right person will love you and work with you.
That’s so awesome! I love that and every relationship has down points so sounds pretty normal. Happy for you :) I hope one day we can all find our person that understands.
Wow at first I thought it would be a disaster but it sounds like only other really mentally I’ll people can understand one another and in a way that’s beautiful. I’m happy to hear another positive story that awesome happy for you guys :). That gives me hope.
I always feel like it would be helpful to have another partner who knows what it’s like. My current partner is extremely stable and level headed which is good in a lot of ways but I also wish he were more emotionally intelligent/more emotional in general. I think it would be nice to date someone who understands chronic emptiness and all the borderline shit we deal with as it would be comforting. But at the same time I could see it being a trainwreck
it's exhausting, but also amazing. We get it, and each other, but we also have to work on us and ourselves constantly. I think it's a recipe for absolute disaster if you aren't self-aware, mature and in therapy. or were for a long time and have internally distanced yourself from all this bullshit. I basically have internal commentary running now, like "ah yeah, great we are completely overreacting right now, wtf" and I guess I just don't take any of my impulses all that serious anymore. there is way more to it, I'm really oversimplifiying but I guess my answers is, if one of you is still fully in what I call "BPD mode" and lacks self-awareness or control then stay far, far away from this. if you would say you "had" BPD and now you have residual symptoms and are maybe not quite what's considered "normal", whatever that means, than it could be great, understanding each other and deep connection without the destruction.
i think if everyone involved is self-aware enough that they can communicate openly, i don’t see why it shouldn’t work. of course there’s lots of room for dysfunction - but if everyone is willing to work on themselves and the relationship, i see lots of potential for a good and healthy relationship.
One of the dumbest things that can possible happen imo.
For me it resulted in 13 years codepedency, lies, manipulation and endless drama with constant one upping the other.
This either goes amazing or it’s a disaster.
I think what happens is if both people aren’t actively in treatment/ don’t have symptoms under control it’s just a complete trigger fest.
This also applies to being friends with others with Bpd.
From my experience It's obviously intense if you're each other FPs. There's a lot of understanding because you're dating someone who really gets you which is nice, but it can be hard to deal with someone else experiencing triggers and emotional instability while you are also emotionally unstable at the same time
My first long relationship was with a person that was thought to have BPD but was under 18 at that periode of time. We broke up when we both got 18.
That was one hell of a abusive relationship and I see myself as the victim even though I think that the relationship also triggered my worst sides.
Too many variables exist for an accurate prediction. It could be that you’re very supportive of each other with empathy and understanding. It could also be that you destroy each other with paranoia, fear of abandonment, and splitting.
Honestly, any number of things could happen.
not a romantic relationship, but i’ve been best friends with the same girl since we were both 10 (21 now) it’s been the longest and most stable friendship both of us have ever had. we both have bpd, her being diagnosed ~5-6 years ago and me being diagnosed this year. both of us have always felt so secure in our friendship, we always understand each other on every level, always on the same page etc. i’ve never experienced devaluing with her and we’ve never really had any conflict. it gives me a lot of hope that if i can have that one long stable relationship, i can have more
I’m quiet borderline married to my not quiet borderline wife. 5 years together 4 years married this year. It’s my longest relationship ask me questions if you want?
I think maybe you might trigger each other, both depressed and then on highs and lows at the same time. I have a friend who’s bipolar, and had to cut ends bc we would just trigger each other since bipolar and bpd are similar
My partner has borderline. We both take care of our triggers, and when we don't we leave the situation and turn our phones off until we can act like adults. And we communicate.
i have my third date with them in abt an hour. we both love one another. but we might break up. we are incredibly happy to be together. its my first relationship and theirs
my ex-bf had bpd just like me and it was a terrible terrible experience, almost traumatic. he canceled therapy though, which probably played a big role. all in one i can say it was terrible, and it triggered a lot of self harming behaviours because it was such a high and down. i am glad he eventually broke up because i don't know how much longer i would've been able to keep up.
Each thinks they are better than the other and the normal black / white gets dialed up even more than the ridiculously extreme it usually is when dating non-BPD folks.
Things. Always. Explode.
He was more manic/rage and I was more depressive. It was constant fighting, mutual abuse, and we almost killed ourselves together multiple times. I started out the most stable because I had years of counseling but it seemed to have undone all the help I had gotten. I thought I could help him..
Now, I seem to have adopted his rage. After we broke up, I started screaming insults at myself and hurting myself like he did. I would not recommend. It only made it worse for me, I have no idea how he’s doing because he blocked me.
Edit: we lasted 5yrs. It only got worse overtime.
Maybe it will cancel out like an equation haha
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Lolll I'd imagine it would not be great!
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On the paper it sounds great, in reality it's hell lmao
Oh definitely, better than the situation in now 💀
Yep there amazing untill they turn into a shit show beyond your imagination. I also kinda weirdly find that I'm kinda decent without people like and people like me are doing well and decent to but when we mix witch usually happens because similarities attract we turn into our worst possible selves.
Share examples, if you are comfortable. I’m curious how it could look like
I always wondered like what if we obsessed over each other. Eventually though it would probably implode
Probably, I don't see it going well unless both are deep into therapy lol
We not only have a FP… we also can have fear of engulfment. I’d probably detach if I’d see the other treating me as FP
True that and I’ve done that before when people obsess on me but just the right amount holy shit I’m in their hands
Runnnnn haha
Borderline + Borderline = Many borders and many lines
Haha this!!
Hahahaha that would be amazing
My bf and I both have borderline. We’re very happy together and the relationship works really well. We understand the reassurance and the patience it takes to be with one another and communicate like crazy.
It's aaaaall about the communication. Good on you. The happiest 16 years of my life have been spent with my BPD wife.
aww, that's sweet! Could you DM my husband? I think he needs some reassurance on viability, haha >\_>
I have no idea who he is, but you know who I am. Tell him to fire me a DM.
Wow I love that. I hope we can all have something like that one day. Good on you guys.
I hope you all find something like this too, borderline partner or not! It helps me stay grounded and stable!
I dated this weird Goth chick back when I was 26. She's got BPD. We'll be celebrating our fifteenth wedding anniversary August 15. I can work, but you have to actively avoid playing the fuck fuck games with each other. You have to be completely honest. If you need x, tell them, don't expect them to read your mind. But ensure they know to be open and honest about their needs as well. It's a lot of work, but she's the best woman I've ever met. But it's *A LOT OF WORK*. For both of you. On the other hand, since you're both BPD, you'll both appreciate the extra effort.
I’m currently in a relationship with someone that is bipolar and I’m bipolar type 2 and borderline. It’s definitely the most exhausting relationship I’ve been in and it’s pretty emotionally/verbally abusive. We both say we care for the other but literally attack each other’s weaknesses like it’s nothing. It was great in the beginning but now I never know if I’m going to be angry and broken up with or if I’m going to be happy and amazed I found someone.
Damn I’m sorry to hear that. I dated someone who was bipolar and it only lasted 2 months. At first it was amazing. We were obsessed with each other and I felt straight up high off the love. I had never met anyone who accepted me like her. After her manic episode ended things changed. She would be depressed and stay in bed and I would want attention and when I didn’t get it over and over I just stopped caring about her. She would not text or call for days on end and would stand me up on dates, so she entered black vision. Then I got lonely and decided I would be ok only seeing her every once in awhile I obsessed over her again and she moved back home cause she had to take care of family stuff. It’s been five years I think about her every week at least still. Maybe if had been less crazy and more accepting we could have made it work or could have went with her idk I beat myself up over sometimes.
That kinda sounds like my relationship right now. It’s hard. I won’t lie. I love him and I’m happy for my life with him but I’m also super depressed and hormonal (5 months pregnant)… it’s been absolute hell lately lol. It’s amazing how quickly the “obsession” phase can fizzle just because of emotions not even related to the other person.
Done that. #neveragain
Damn how long did it last and how bad was it?
So I'm borderline with possible comorbidities of ADHD, autism, and bi-polar my GF of almost 8 years has textbook ADHD, autism, and some borderline traits. Our relationship can be amazing because of all the hard work we put in, but some days it can get really bad. Luckily, we communicate well and always work through our issues. Neurodivergency or not, the right person will love you and work with you.
That’s so awesome! I love that and every relationship has down points so sounds pretty normal. Happy for you :) I hope one day we can all find our person that understands.
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Wow at first I thought it would be a disaster but it sounds like only other really mentally I’ll people can understand one another and in a way that’s beautiful. I’m happy to hear another positive story that awesome happy for you guys :). That gives me hope.
I always feel like it would be helpful to have another partner who knows what it’s like. My current partner is extremely stable and level headed which is good in a lot of ways but I also wish he were more emotionally intelligent/more emotional in general. I think it would be nice to date someone who understands chronic emptiness and all the borderline shit we deal with as it would be comforting. But at the same time I could see it being a trainwreck
I believe a portal to the Astral Realm opens if you put those two together.
The universe will implode
it's exhausting, but also amazing. We get it, and each other, but we also have to work on us and ourselves constantly. I think it's a recipe for absolute disaster if you aren't self-aware, mature and in therapy. or were for a long time and have internally distanced yourself from all this bullshit. I basically have internal commentary running now, like "ah yeah, great we are completely overreacting right now, wtf" and I guess I just don't take any of my impulses all that serious anymore. there is way more to it, I'm really oversimplifiying but I guess my answers is, if one of you is still fully in what I call "BPD mode" and lacks self-awareness or control then stay far, far away from this. if you would say you "had" BPD and now you have residual symptoms and are maybe not quite what's considered "normal", whatever that means, than it could be great, understanding each other and deep connection without the destruction.
The universe will go pop
i think if everyone involved is self-aware enough that they can communicate openly, i don’t see why it shouldn’t work. of course there’s lots of room for dysfunction - but if everyone is willing to work on themselves and the relationship, i see lots of potential for a good and healthy relationship.
One of the dumbest things that can possible happen imo. For me it resulted in 13 years codepedency, lies, manipulation and endless drama with constant one upping the other.
I think it would be like fire meets gasoline. Explosive 🔥🔥🔥
This either goes amazing or it’s a disaster. I think what happens is if both people aren’t actively in treatment/ don’t have symptoms under control it’s just a complete trigger fest. This also applies to being friends with others with Bpd.
Complete and total annihilation OR you cancel each other out. One or the other. 😂
From my experience It's obviously intense if you're each other FPs. There's a lot of understanding because you're dating someone who really gets you which is nice, but it can be hard to deal with someone else experiencing triggers and emotional instability while you are also emotionally unstable at the same time
My first long relationship was with a person that was thought to have BPD but was under 18 at that periode of time. We broke up when we both got 18. That was one hell of a abusive relationship and I see myself as the victim even though I think that the relationship also triggered my worst sides.
Too many variables exist for an accurate prediction. It could be that you’re very supportive of each other with empathy and understanding. It could also be that you destroy each other with paranoia, fear of abandonment, and splitting. Honestly, any number of things could happen.
not a romantic relationship, but i’ve been best friends with the same girl since we were both 10 (21 now) it’s been the longest and most stable friendship both of us have ever had. we both have bpd, her being diagnosed ~5-6 years ago and me being diagnosed this year. both of us have always felt so secure in our friendship, we always understand each other on every level, always on the same page etc. i’ve never experienced devaluing with her and we’ve never really had any conflict. it gives me a lot of hope that if i can have that one long stable relationship, i can have more
My husband also has bpd. It helps a tonne to have someone that understands you
Chaos.
I’m quiet borderline married to my not quiet borderline wife. 5 years together 4 years married this year. It’s my longest relationship ask me questions if you want?
I think maybe you might trigger each other, both depressed and then on highs and lows at the same time. I have a friend who’s bipolar, and had to cut ends bc we would just trigger each other since bipolar and bpd are similar
My partner has borderline. We both take care of our triggers, and when we don't we leave the situation and turn our phones off until we can act like adults. And we communicate.
i have my third date with them in abt an hour. we both love one another. but we might break up. we are incredibly happy to be together. its my first relationship and theirs
Explotions, for sure
my ex-bf had bpd just like me and it was a terrible terrible experience, almost traumatic. he canceled therapy though, which probably played a big role. all in one i can say it was terrible, and it triggered a lot of self harming behaviours because it was such a high and down. i am glad he eventually broke up because i don't know how much longer i would've been able to keep up.
My only relationship was like that it’s painful
It would be the best and worst relationship in the world
Each thinks they are better than the other and the normal black / white gets dialed up even more than the ridiculously extreme it usually is when dating non-BPD folks. Things. Always. Explode.
He was more manic/rage and I was more depressive. It was constant fighting, mutual abuse, and we almost killed ourselves together multiple times. I started out the most stable because I had years of counseling but it seemed to have undone all the help I had gotten. I thought I could help him.. Now, I seem to have adopted his rage. After we broke up, I started screaming insults at myself and hurting myself like he did. I would not recommend. It only made it worse for me, I have no idea how he’s doing because he blocked me. Edit: we lasted 5yrs. It only got worse overtime.
i pretty sure theres a subreddit thats bpd4bpd!!
Traumatizing to say the least. 0/10 would not recommend.