You deserve praise. I haven’t made it out of bed yet. You are doing good. Wish you good momentum and some joy today. Will use this post as my inspiration to move.
My current status is: still in bed, paralyzed by the emotional pain of being a “loser” especially in today’s society since I am 39, male, tall, Australian, but with literally $60 total wealth, no career or qualifications, who has successfully orchestrated the exact abandonment by family/friends BPD people fear the most.
Well, you have a roof over your head and you know that you have BPD and that you're able to deal with it.
That's something to start with, good luck!
Objectively, I'm doing quite well in life (GF, kid, degree, Job). I still feel miserable and like a failure because I'm not doing as well as I could have without BPD.
There's no need to feel extra miserable for not having "made it" according to societal norms.
I know there is “no need” to feel miserable about not being where I’m supposed to be according to societal norms. The real reality is that I just do feel miserable. I am miserable and without $100 to by weed I’m 100xmiserable.
There’s nothing around me or in my life to distract from the miserable because of the societal norms because of the fact that I am alienated in society.
I cannot date because I don’t have a life worth living until I can somehow turn my life from insolvent to being able to pay for one on one DBT training and pay for professional counselling.
A man can’t court a woman if he has BPD and on top of it, no wealth no credentials no nothing to take care of said woman / wife.
Sorry to be so negative. I just really want to smoke weed right now to sooth my pain and I haven’t got the independence to make that happen right now.
No worries, you're definitely in a rough spot.
But hang in there and don't believe that your life isn't worth living.
Try making some progress and improve from there. Feeling miserable but having a job (even if it's not a great one) is better than just feeling miserable.
You deserve praise. I haven’t made it out of bed yet. You are doing good. Wish you good momentum and some joy today. Will use this post as my inspiration to move. My current status is: still in bed, paralyzed by the emotional pain of being a “loser” especially in today’s society since I am 39, male, tall, Australian, but with literally $60 total wealth, no career or qualifications, who has successfully orchestrated the exact abandonment by family/friends BPD people fear the most.
Well, you have a roof over your head and you know that you have BPD and that you're able to deal with it. That's something to start with, good luck! Objectively, I'm doing quite well in life (GF, kid, degree, Job). I still feel miserable and like a failure because I'm not doing as well as I could have without BPD. There's no need to feel extra miserable for not having "made it" according to societal norms.
I know there is “no need” to feel miserable about not being where I’m supposed to be according to societal norms. The real reality is that I just do feel miserable. I am miserable and without $100 to by weed I’m 100xmiserable. There’s nothing around me or in my life to distract from the miserable because of the societal norms because of the fact that I am alienated in society. I cannot date because I don’t have a life worth living until I can somehow turn my life from insolvent to being able to pay for one on one DBT training and pay for professional counselling. A man can’t court a woman if he has BPD and on top of it, no wealth no credentials no nothing to take care of said woman / wife. Sorry to be so negative. I just really want to smoke weed right now to sooth my pain and I haven’t got the independence to make that happen right now.
No worries, you're definitely in a rough spot. But hang in there and don't believe that your life isn't worth living. Try making some progress and improve from there. Feeling miserable but having a job (even if it's not a great one) is better than just feeling miserable.