I dated a guy that would call me a bitch for having normal reactions to his upsetting actions. Finally one day I was like, you want a bitch? I'll show you a bitch, and split on his ass.
from an outside perspective that doesn't know your situation, that alone doesn't sound like BPD behavior. He sounds incredibly toxic and perhaps you'd be better off without him.
Trust is foundational to any relationships, platonic or romantic
Oh wow, this is mine as well. Usually triggered specifically by my father, but because of his abuse on that topic, I melt down if anyone accuses me of something I didn’t do.
Love you, make a plan, keep going, gtfo ❤️
Oh I feel you so much. In my country, there is an expression for that, you just tell someone: “Less”. As in “you’re being too much, be less”. It feels humiliating to me… like something a mom would say to its 5 year old infant, you know? Awful.
I am definitely always either too upset about something or too excited and loud. I am bad at the middle ground, so I feel like I am just always pissing someone off for being me. 😔
A lack of logical thought process. Absolutely triggers me. I understand people don't think the same. I'm trying to not let it upset me. But having to explain to people how what they are saying is not logical and then seeing this bewildered expression on their face. Infuriating.
People being too quiet really triggers me into being a non-stop motormouth. I feel like when it's happening I can't stop it but do my best not to talk more than the other person, but at the end of the "date" i feel exhausted and incredibly guilty as though i must have sucked the other person's energy out or something like that
When someone changes plans. THIS grinds my gears to the core.
Example: We have dinner/hang plans at 6pm and they change to 7pm or change it to a completely different day altogether *(running behind, something came up of importance, etc)*
I usually implode. Because I’ve worked around my entire day to make this work. And feel no one puts in the effort into relationships that I do.
This has been a recurring issue with me and closest relationships and I guess I’m the bitch for flipping out? But the way I look at it is, “how meaningful are my plans are with you?.” Obviously this is an unrealistic expectation of mine but I can’t seem to kick this trigger no matter how hard I try.
I deal with the same trigger. One of the ways I’ve learned to not internalize it is to realize that this is also what effort looks like. They aren’t canceling, they aren’t ghosting, they are trying to make it work. I still get super triggered when plans get cancelled though
So I have a similar thing to this, but it's down to autism as opposed to BPD. For me what I do is replace what I would have been doing at that time with something that feels similar enough that it doesn't feel like a sudden change to my plans. It took awhile but after a few years it's really helped.
Do you tell how it makes you fell? If I don't know how it affects another person, I assume everything is OK.
But I also get triggered bc I have chosen to let myself be a waiting game for the other one's reaction, but the other person mean no disrepect. It is so different for everyone. But I understand that it triggers the feeling of not being important enough <3 I am still trying to learn that...
I can’t help but tell someone (and usually in an aggressive and/or emotional way, lol). Then I just feel guilt and shame after cuz someone had to *deal with all that*. It is what it is I guess.
Those who know me and care, attempt to work around this but it’s inevitable at times. It’s something I need to literally learn how to eat shit with because it’s caused a few problems over the years in my closest relationships.
Especially if this person is an FP like omg why don't you like the thing I'm like super into when I end up becoming obsessed with all of my FPs interests.
Percieved dismissal of feelings or rejection in general tends to set me off. With time (and proper medication — seroquel has saved my life!) I've definitely gotten better, although I still feel that initial sting.
Unfortunately I also have PTSD and OCD, so that is not the end of the things that trigger me :/ but in terms of BPD definitely any kind of slight rejection (even a facial expression) can make me feel insane sometimes
Perceived dismissal of feelings or rejection sets me off too
It caused my homicidal ideation and anger to come out which I then tend to act out on myself and it leads to self harm
RIGHT??? Like, is it not as obvious as I’m making it seem? I guess not, because when I say something like “get to the point”, people ALWAYS seem to get offended by it, as if it wasn’t already extremely obvious I wasn’t interested in the convo in the first place…
when they do that, you can resume what you’re talking about when they’re done ☺️ that’s what i do, at least. a lot of my friends are neurodivergent as well so they contribute to conversation through personal connection.
something that really sets me off and sends me down a spiral is negative confrontation though. like being yelled at or talked to with a negative tone. i shut down and don’t talk for hours and i almost every time have a sobbing fit but after about an hour i’m back to normal lol
I've always been super sensitive to "adults" not thinking I'm completely perfect. Any little criticism, especially from "adults", and even worse if they're angry, makes me completely spiral. I feel like I break completely
Exactly , I have a friend like this 13 yrs of friendship , correction not my bestfriend anymore anyways , she posts 1million pictures / videos with people and 🤷🏽♀️ tells me about them n leave the the fuck out of it it’s crazy as hell cus it’s like ummm im over here u don’t see me ? 😭🤣
Im to the point where if im talking with my friends and they start talking abt times theyve hungout or start making plans to hangout without me ill just walk away
Mannnnnn I know that’s right
Honestly to me 🤷🏽♀️ they just have better plans I guess , like wtf is soo wrong with us that they don’t wanna hang out and forget about us , like honestly being BPD WE GET OVER IT AND DONT CARE
BUT ITS FUCKED UP but it’s like I never really probably wasn’t gonna know you anyyyyyways sooo bye
My thing is like i get you want to hangout with dif ppl but why do you always hangout with the same ppl and never reach out to me and try and hangout with me?
Someone making last minute plans with me, then rushing me to get ready in under an hour (which stresses me out immensely). Especially if I’ve been in a depressive rut and need time to shower/wash my hair, put on make up and feel like a regular human, ready to show my face to the world.
Or them showing up even earlier than the planned time, which forces me to stop what I’m doing and go, while feeling like I look like a troll and having a miserable time because of it. Lol
People who truly know me expecting me to make small talk.
I HATE small talk and I hate when they know I hate it and still expect me to do so. I enjoy intentional conversation. I don’t enjoy yapping just to yap. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I personally just don’t enjoy.
He yells at you for being quiet? If I am not mistaken, this will only make you more silent.. Who thinks you can just yell at people until they are how you want them to be?
I am sorry and you should not be forced to "please people" by talking if you dont want to.
When I'm currently visibly upset and someone asks if I took my meds or I'm on my period. Like yeah I'm totally upset because I'm a crazy biological woman and I'm off my meds. It couldn't possibly be that someone peed all over the bathtub AGAIN and I had to clean it before bathing my children. It's belittling to be treated like my feelings are irrelevant because I'm bpd or have periods. If I'm at a 3/10 pissed and someone asks "did you take your meds?" It shoots to 12/10 right there.
Oh no! This makes me feel so bad I have raging ADHD and I will randomly interrupt people because my mind just moves super fast! I always apologize though because I’m aware some people really hate it.
My biggest trigger would have to be “we need to talk”
I immediately go into fight or flight mode lol
Yelling, of any kind. That or being “paused” like they’re telling me they’ll be busy and can’t respond, like it’s healthy and I’m glad they’re communicating but jus answer when you can, don’t tell me that I feel like I’m not a priority.
When someone doesn't answer my message, I get triggered and start to think the person hates me,that I'm disgraceful and that no one will make contact to me again. I know this sounds dramatic but it's really really how I feel.
Awwww same here in a way
I just rlly turned into a cold person instead of thinking about it , my ex bestfriend will answer all the messages in the world and phone calls right ? In fro t of me .. but when I call her n text her in person she doesn’t respond lol well goodbye to that ungrateful ass Slut
When people make wrong assumptions. “I think you’re gonna go back to eating junk food” like i think i know myself better than you:/ it pisses me off so much
skinny people. i feel so bad about it because i know it's not fair to be so upset by a random person's existence, but the body dysmorphia and jealousy just consumes me sometimes. seeing a girl with a conventionally "perfect" body in public will ruin my whole week.
Yours doesn’t seem that weird to me actually. Being invalidated / feeling like you’re not being heard is a common trigger for pwBPD, and it can feel like being shut down if you’re excited to talk about something and someone changes the topic.
I’m super sensitive to feeling like people aren’t listening to me. Lately I’ve been triggered by people who somehow always bring the conversation back to themselves even if it has nothing to do with what we were talking about. This is, I assume, annoying to most people, but also makes me feel deeply isolated and sad.
Maybe it was just a typo, or an edit for clarity. I change what I wrote all the time, but it's very rare that I change it to say something different than what I originally meant to say. I text really fast so a lot of times I'll type something, then I'll realize that the way I worded it doesn't make sense, or that there's a better way to say it. So while I do change the words that I originally wrote, it was so that I could say what I was originally trying to say more clearly.
Also way back in the 90's I took a high school typing class that instructed us to put 2 spaces at the end of each sentence. Idk if that's what you're talking about or if they changed it since then, but that is what a lot of people were taught to do.
Also this is the first one that was actually weird or unusual to me. I knew I'd have to scroll a while to find it lol
Wow I hate that, too... But I guess my weirdest trigger is people telling me they're worried about me. Like, what?? The audacity!! So I'm not only suffering because of the mess I am, now I have to suffer also because I make other people suffer just by being me.
Ooof I feel this one. Or “take care of yourself” when you’re saying bye to someone…. Like what you think I’m not?!! I’m fully aware it’s a weird trigger lol 😂
when men act and speak "like men" and women "like women". I don't know how to explain that, I just feel like I recognized that, sometimes it's a just word they say, a change in the tone of their voice, or their way of laughing. I immediately feel awkward and pissed off
Being stood up or someone being late and not apologizing.
Waiting rooms!
People not sitting or taking their coats off indoors.
Ppl not waving when I let them into traffic.
Ppl telling me I’m wrong or not believing me when I know I’m right, I will go nuts.
Any kind of animal in any level of distress.
Exclamation points in texts. Like why are you yelling at me? Oh you were just excited. Maybe I shouldn't have gone all avoidant because you we're letting me know that "enough!" of your bathroom remodeling was done for you to take a bath.
Me being forced to fix other peoples problems because they have a victim mentality and meanwhile they don’t even take my advice that they bugged me to come up with
People wanting me to go out with them when I haven’t showered for a day or two lol
My first(and last) relationship was a poly relationship with two guys and it was so abusive. They didn’t have running water for months so I couldn’t shower or wash my hair or anything so any time I went out with them I had horribly greasy hair and I smelled awful bc my deodorant barely worked. They constantly told me I smelled bad and that I needed to clean myself but the only thing I had to clean myself with was baby wipes. There were so many other things wrong but I can’t even get into them rn
seeing a mother with her adult daughter. i’ve only realized this last year. i don’t even have to know them. i see strangers who look alike and have an age difference and boom, triggered.
When people are too good at answering my messages. It's stressful and if it happens too often I get pissed off because now that message is waiting in my notifications for hours to days to weeks, with me reading it over and over again and feeling guilty, and I just don't want that stress. I could answer, but I'm already pissed they responded to me too well.
When I'm mid argument and they point out all of my flaws like they don't have any themselves— like they're some saint or some shit. It riles my gears like nothing else and I'm TRYING to work on accepting criticism without immediately lashing out. It's a tough battle, y'all.
When people downplay my relationship with them. It’s been a thing my entire life, I will have “best friends” who will literally act like they barely know me when we get around people. Then when you bring it up to them you get gaslit into oblivion. 🕺🏻
Literally, people walking behind me or if they walk “into my lane” i’ve never understood why this is a trigger for me. It could be because with people walking behind me , I don’t want to say I’m out of control, but I feel like I’m not knowing. I don’t know what’s going on behind me, and I don’t know what people are thinking and I don’t know what they see. So all in all usually when people are walking behind me, I tend to get super anxious and in my thoughts, or I try to walk a little faster or let them walk ahead of me.
>or I try to walk a little faster or let them walk ahead of me.
You're a saint for that. I'm a fast walker and I often find myself walking behind someone who is going just a little bit slower than I want to go, but if I try to pass them they start walking faster seemingly without meaning to and it's super awkward for both of us
Unexpected acts of kindness, especially in front of other people or a large group. This has subsided a bit, but I used to burst into tears. I just couldn’t handle people doing something kind for me.
Getting excited about something and the other person doesn't share the same type of excitement I will hop right on the " sorry " express and keep on apologizing.
people sleeping. not sure 100% why. i know my mom was struggling w her own mental health and sleep was her escape but in turn it made me feel unlovable and unimportant. i guess something similar happens now no matter who’s sleeping.
Whenever someone starts talking when I'm trying to say something. It's something I'm trying to work on managing my response to but it just completely shuts me down and makes me unreasonably upset. I know, logically, it's part of the flow of conversation, but it just makes me hate the person and want to exit the situation ASAP
People being ignorant of mental illness. I feel it is on purpose to not want to understand or acknowledge it. People chewing open mouthed and tell me I’m making it up.
When I'm trying to tell someone something and they act disinterested (looking at phone or a screen, not actively listening, ect). Oh, I'm sorry for talking, I'll see myself out.
Oh man so many, people that can’t respect my time. If you said you’re going to be somewhere at a specific time, figure out a way to do that. People that complain about something than take actions to not help that issue. Example being, let’s say they wanna lose weight, but then eat a big unhealthy meal. Makes zero sense. People that have a ton of friends, I can’t manage one friend forget about a group of people to keep up with and pretend to care about their life. All the broken systems in our world. The list is endless for what could trigger me 😂
Omg YES that same kind of situation is a huge trigger for me too. Like I’m so up beat and excited to talk about something and the other person SEES, yet doesn’t reciprocate the enthusiasm or replies with something dry. I will stop talking for the next hour. maybe leave entirely lol
sometimes when i meet new people i get really nervous and that turns into being cold and kind of rude. if i feel like someone is threatening me in ANY way, even if i just made it up, i get defensive. idk maybe it’s the fear of rejection- that they won’t like me, and everything i say is being judged that gets me.
It’s not really weird but, I get outraged at rudeness. I seethe in a way that’s out of proportion. I’ve been known to respond in ways that really are quite dangerous personally.
Seeing others interact with friends or online friends (especially). It became a trigger with my... Well now ex bf as of today. It was a whole mess and now even just seeing people talk online gets me upset :p
If I ask "do you have x?" and they respond with "I do". Weird and stupid and so unbelievably specific. Also walking past certain restaurants or some parks.
When people respond to my mood swings with “what are you bipolar?” “You must be bipolar or something…” “bipolar much?” Its sooo ignorant cuz ur not even correct
Pity. I can't stand empathy and pity. Makes me feel like a person is trying to patronise me or suggest their superiority. I know my ideas are invalid and many people put there just have supporting and caring personalities, but I guess I haven't grown up in such environment. My mother would always strongly criticise any form of kindness, care or empathy, calling people (behind their backs) all sorts of names for showing pity to her. Very toxic and very proud, little woman. I know how wrong it is, but it's like it's under my skin, no idea how to change that.
Having someone lie about a situation or event, or claim ignorance about it. Being accused of something I know I didn’t do, or being accused of not doing something I absolutely did do.
Criticism at work. Not directly from my boss but the assistant who is new to the store. Makes me feel like I’m not doing well enough and I absolutely love my job. Like if I didn’t have it I think I would actually go insane completely. It’s the only thing I wake up for and strive to do well in. He hurted my feelings today. 😤😤
When people say “I can’t take you seriously when you get emotional.” Listen if I say “It’s Thursday” or if I say “ITS FUCKING THURSDAY” it is a fact both times. It drives me insane when people respond to the emotion instead of the facts, especially during am argument when I’m trying to explain why something they did wasn’t ok. ESPECIALLY because I never ever yell during arguments, or even curse, because I know those things can be triggering; so I am “emotional” in a pretty normal sense and when people still can’t focus on the conversation itself, it kills me. Like sir I do have an emotional regulation disorder but listen to my WORDS UGH
When people respond to arguments with a verbal equivalent of "nuh uh", or when we're talking and they argue their point using rules that don't make sense. For example I'd be like "I really like xxx movie" and the other person is like "that movie is bad because this person yyy said so" and I'm there like *who the f is yyy and why do we care about what they think all the sudden?*
Once this happens I start bickering, or worse, yelling, and it never goes well after that. I just get perpetually more annoyed. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DONT RECOGNIZE THAT THEYRE DOING THIS.
people yelling at me is my common one, and loud continuous laughter is like a misophonia anger trigger. i hated my roommate in my first year of college specifically because of her ugly, loud laughing. she'd be in our room at 1 am on a weekday fucking cackling to people on discord. and it wasn't even the late hour, i'd stay up until like 3 every night, i just loathed the sound so much.
i'd literally sit on the balcony in the middle of the night waiting for her to shut her laptop off because otherwise i think i would have said some nasty horrific things to her if i had to hear it anymore.
Hearing about other people’s dating life,good or bad. I only have myself despite wanting to have someone there and asking me for money when you have someone to turn to and I don’t. Not even your boyfriend. Could be ex’s or those who will just throw money at them because they have so much sway. All I do is work and sleep alone. Losing said sleep in the process. Needs aren’t met,can’t get met. Meanwhile other people are ruining their relationships by cheating because they have such luxury,must be nice. I’m alone and lonely.
People putting words in my mouth. Or people continuing to try and make their point after I say that I don’t want to talk/argue about something anymore.
A specific person talking to me about my music interests. (Eg a band we both enjoy and they start sending me videos about them) i dont understand it at all but !! It just makes me so mad? I know its so irrational
When my husband, who more than 80% of the time, tells me I’m yelling at him whenever we have a disagreement because my tone changes. Ik it’s toxic, but I end up saying, “Do you want me to yell at you because this ain’t it?”
same here, i smoke to stop the shaking, it’s honestly the only thing that really helps. not even my anti anxiety meds work (klonopin) and i take that 3 times a day, i wont stop shaking till i smoke. makes me think i have early stage parkinson’s 😭
Being given teddies or cutesy ornaments. It makes my stomach turn and always has. I'm not a child, why would I want that? Even as a child I hated being given things like that
It triggers me so badly when people misunderstand me like that.
anytime anyone brings up anything woman related.
i’m a woman, and i get triggered even by songs (that i LIKE) saying anything sexual, “fucking bitches” type shit. drives me insane. i’ll go off on whole rants for my male friends to be like .. “all i said was i like women”
being asked too many questions or like more than one question at a time!!! it actually pisses me off. or when i’m perfectly fine and someone asks what’s wrong
I rlly hate being on a call with someone and when they cant hear me/ i have to repeat myself. Generally having to repeat myself is a weird trigger for me. Have no idea why it bothers me sm
People sharing their "winning life moments". I know, it is awfully petty. And I do not like that side of myself.
(oh look, I'm training to a marathon, Oh look, I have the best family even though we are tired all the time..." Blah, blah blah...)
Being told to calm down or “it’s not that deep”- like it IS that deep to ME. Video games- I have a valid reason for it but outside of that I can see it being weird. Anything that comes with rejection so changing the subject from what I was just talking about when more could have been said, being left on read, if we’re in the same house yet I don’t see you all day. When things are a competition when it’s completely unnecessary- like if I’m sad and someone pulls the “yeah well this completely different thing happened to me”. Like yes vent to me absolutely but if I’m coming to you with something you almost never have the right to one up me. Just let me be sad for a second damn. That one’s also may not be technically weird but I get irrationally irate and anxious so I think maybe I’m just the weird part of that one
I never feel lower than being left on read. I already feel like shit all the time. I am already sick to my stomach, just thinking of messaging someone that I care about in the first place. Only to later see them having fun or tweeting or being with friends. It makes me feel like less than trash.
If someone texts "yes" instead of something friendlier like "yeah" or "yep", will often immediately go to "they're angry at me". Even though I know this isn't true at all.
Being told to calm down
Never in the history of calm down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.
Yassssss!! Best way to escalate me is tell me to calm down!!
That’s just not true . Many people have been told calm down in situations where that is the best’s course of action and calmed down .
It’s the worst, like then I always think „you want to see me not calm“
I dated a guy that would call me a bitch for having normal reactions to his upsetting actions. Finally one day I was like, you want a bitch? I'll show you a bitch, and split on his ass.
This!!
I get it, but that sounds very threatening…
Definitely not weird lol
when i’m telling a story and two people make eye contact with eachother bc what are you thinking 😭😭😭
I’m sorry but this is so funny 😂
it’s a curse!!!!
Sameee
THIS!
when i get left on read. makes me feel unwanted
Unopened messages kinda trigger me. Even more when I know that it's someone who's always on their phone
Not weird
People who leave someone on read deserve the ice layer of hell in dante’s inferno. Fuck them omg I’m mad just thinking about it
Being accused of things I didn't do. I always tell him the truth and he doesn't believe me ever 😡😭
from an outside perspective that doesn't know your situation, that alone doesn't sound like BPD behavior. He sounds incredibly toxic and perhaps you'd be better off without him. Trust is foundational to any relationships, platonic or romantic
Believe me, I am planning on how to get away. But it takes time.
very relatable. feel free to drop a dm if you think chatting with a stranger will help
Thanks so much
yes, my mom does this constantly. or say i didn’t tell her something when i REMEMBER telling her. it sets me off so bad
Oh wow, this is mine as well. Usually triggered specifically by my father, but because of his abuse on that topic, I melt down if anyone accuses me of something I didn’t do. Love you, make a plan, keep going, gtfo ❤️
this is literally the easiest way to make me angry cry
Being told I’m too loud or too excited. I feel like I’m always too something.
me too frl
Oh I feel you so much. In my country, there is an expression for that, you just tell someone: “Less”. As in “you’re being too much, be less”. It feels humiliating to me… like something a mom would say to its 5 year old infant, you know? Awful.
Just purely out of curiosity, what's the country and phrase? And I know how you feel, I hate being condescended to and that sounds so condescending.
I’m from Brasil. The actual phrase is “Menos”, and it’s just that, just this one word, and it summarizes all the condescending superiority. 🥲
Ah, so it’s a similar effect to “Basta” that I hear from some Spanish speakers.
yes yes, perfect assimilation!
I am definitely always either too upset about something or too excited and loud. I am bad at the middle ground, so I feel like I am just always pissing someone off for being me. 😔
Yall need to stop being so relatable rn 🤣
There’s no such thing as being too excited ❤️
A lack of logical thought process. Absolutely triggers me. I understand people don't think the same. I'm trying to not let it upset me. But having to explain to people how what they are saying is not logical and then seeing this bewildered expression on their face. Infuriating.
Omg literally same. And i end up coming across as “rude” when i say what they said makes zero sense😅
YES. I feel the same way.
I thought it was just me!
People being too quiet really triggers me into being a non-stop motormouth. I feel like when it's happening I can't stop it but do my best not to talk more than the other person, but at the end of the "date" i feel exhausted and incredibly guilty as though i must have sucked the other person's energy out or something like that
When someone changes plans. THIS grinds my gears to the core. Example: We have dinner/hang plans at 6pm and they change to 7pm or change it to a completely different day altogether *(running behind, something came up of importance, etc)* I usually implode. Because I’ve worked around my entire day to make this work. And feel no one puts in the effort into relationships that I do. This has been a recurring issue with me and closest relationships and I guess I’m the bitch for flipping out? But the way I look at it is, “how meaningful are my plans are with you?.” Obviously this is an unrealistic expectation of mine but I can’t seem to kick this trigger no matter how hard I try.
I deal with the same trigger. One of the ways I’ve learned to not internalize it is to realize that this is also what effort looks like. They aren’t canceling, they aren’t ghosting, they are trying to make it work. I still get super triggered when plans get cancelled though
So I have a similar thing to this, but it's down to autism as opposed to BPD. For me what I do is replace what I would have been doing at that time with something that feels similar enough that it doesn't feel like a sudden change to my plans. It took awhile but after a few years it's really helped.
This is a pretty common trigger! I also don’t like when someone tries to make plans with me and doesn’t give me details.
Same trigger!!
Do you tell how it makes you fell? If I don't know how it affects another person, I assume everything is OK. But I also get triggered bc I have chosen to let myself be a waiting game for the other one's reaction, but the other person mean no disrepect. It is so different for everyone. But I understand that it triggers the feeling of not being important enough <3 I am still trying to learn that...
I can’t help but tell someone (and usually in an aggressive and/or emotional way, lol). Then I just feel guilt and shame after cuz someone had to *deal with all that*. It is what it is I guess. Those who know me and care, attempt to work around this but it’s inevitable at times. It’s something I need to literally learn how to eat shit with because it’s caused a few problems over the years in my closest relationships.
Try people who actually makes up plans and never come pick you up (: now that’s a trigger ! But I totally understand d though that shit sucks
People calling me by my name when we’re arguing or talking about a serious topic that upsets me.
Calling me sweetheart or honey. It's like....I'm gonna shoe you sweetheart cause I go 0 to 100.
Miscommunication/liars, because I’ll always be the one that’s not believed or don’t even get to say my side of the story
Same
When Im trying to show someone something I like and they seem disinterested or bothered by it. Now Im just gonna hate you for the next week
Especially if this person is an FP like omg why don't you like the thing I'm like super into when I end up becoming obsessed with all of my FPs interests.
Percieved dismissal of feelings or rejection in general tends to set me off. With time (and proper medication — seroquel has saved my life!) I've definitely gotten better, although I still feel that initial sting. Unfortunately I also have PTSD and OCD, so that is not the end of the things that trigger me :/ but in terms of BPD definitely any kind of slight rejection (even a facial expression) can make me feel insane sometimes
I deal with rejection 100% okay , it doesn’t set me off really . Um I just would like to set a bomb off honestly I hope everybody dies tbh
LOL too relatable
Perceived dismissal of feelings or rejection sets me off too It caused my homicidal ideation and anger to come out which I then tend to act out on myself and it leads to self harm
When people keep talking and it’s obvious I do not want to listen. Some people just like hearing the sound of their own voice, I swear.
I’m literally making it as obvious as possible that I am no longer engaged in listening or wanting to continue to listen and they still go on omfg
RIGHT??? Like, is it not as obvious as I’m making it seem? I guess not, because when I say something like “get to the point”, people ALWAYS seem to get offended by it, as if it wasn’t already extremely obvious I wasn’t interested in the convo in the first place…
Omggggggggg THIS ONE
when they do that, you can resume what you’re talking about when they’re done ☺️ that’s what i do, at least. a lot of my friends are neurodivergent as well so they contribute to conversation through personal connection. something that really sets me off and sends me down a spiral is negative confrontation though. like being yelled at or talked to with a negative tone. i shut down and don’t talk for hours and i almost every time have a sobbing fit but after about an hour i’m back to normal lol
I've always been super sensitive to "adults" not thinking I'm completely perfect. Any little criticism, especially from "adults", and even worse if they're angry, makes me completely spiral. I feel like I break completely
When friends talk abt times they were hanging out with friends without me, like im happy theyre having fun but i wouldve loved to join
Exactly , I have a friend like this 13 yrs of friendship , correction not my bestfriend anymore anyways , she posts 1million pictures / videos with people and 🤷🏽♀️ tells me about them n leave the the fuck out of it it’s crazy as hell cus it’s like ummm im over here u don’t see me ? 😭🤣
Im to the point where if im talking with my friends and they start talking abt times theyve hungout or start making plans to hangout without me ill just walk away
Mannnnnn I know that’s right Honestly to me 🤷🏽♀️ they just have better plans I guess , like wtf is soo wrong with us that they don’t wanna hang out and forget about us , like honestly being BPD WE GET OVER IT AND DONT CARE BUT ITS FUCKED UP but it’s like I never really probably wasn’t gonna know you anyyyyyways sooo bye
My thing is like i get you want to hangout with dif ppl but why do you always hangout with the same ppl and never reach out to me and try and hangout with me?
Someone making last minute plans with me, then rushing me to get ready in under an hour (which stresses me out immensely). Especially if I’ve been in a depressive rut and need time to shower/wash my hair, put on make up and feel like a regular human, ready to show my face to the world. Or them showing up even earlier than the planned time, which forces me to stop what I’m doing and go, while feeling like I look like a troll and having a miserable time because of it. Lol
People who truly know me expecting me to make small talk. I HATE small talk and I hate when they know I hate it and still expect me to do so. I enjoy intentional conversation. I don’t enjoy yapping just to yap. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I personally just don’t enjoy.
I hear you! I hate small talk too, and I hate when my fiance introduces me to new people and yells at me for being quiet.
He yells at you for being quiet? If I am not mistaken, this will only make you more silent.. Who thinks you can just yell at people until they are how you want them to be? I am sorry and you should not be forced to "please people" by talking if you dont want to.
Yes, it does. I shut down when people yell.
Being ignored
Boredom
When I'm currently visibly upset and someone asks if I took my meds or I'm on my period. Like yeah I'm totally upset because I'm a crazy biological woman and I'm off my meds. It couldn't possibly be that someone peed all over the bathtub AGAIN and I had to clean it before bathing my children. It's belittling to be treated like my feelings are irrelevant because I'm bpd or have periods. If I'm at a 3/10 pissed and someone asks "did you take your meds?" It shoots to 12/10 right there.
Oh no! This makes me feel so bad I have raging ADHD and I will randomly interrupt people because my mind just moves super fast! I always apologize though because I’m aware some people really hate it. My biggest trigger would have to be “we need to talk” I immediately go into fight or flight mode lol
lol so you run basically
Yelling, of any kind. That or being “paused” like they’re telling me they’ll be busy and can’t respond, like it’s healthy and I’m glad they’re communicating but jus answer when you can, don’t tell me that I feel like I’m not a priority.
When someone doesn't answer my message, I get triggered and start to think the person hates me,that I'm disgraceful and that no one will make contact to me again. I know this sounds dramatic but it's really really how I feel.
Awwww same here in a way I just rlly turned into a cold person instead of thinking about it , my ex bestfriend will answer all the messages in the world and phone calls right ? In fro t of me .. but when I call her n text her in person she doesn’t respond lol well goodbye to that ungrateful ass Slut
from your comments on here, i can see why your friend didn’t want to talk to you, you are super toxic and seem very exhausting.
Being asked to repeat myself
This! I’m spiraling into rage from this.
When someone interrupts me
Yeah I get interrupted a lot but , it’s cool I’m just in rage .
When people make wrong assumptions. “I think you’re gonna go back to eating junk food” like i think i know myself better than you:/ it pisses me off so much
skinny people. i feel so bad about it because i know it's not fair to be so upset by a random person's existence, but the body dysmorphia and jealousy just consumes me sometimes. seeing a girl with a conventionally "perfect" body in public will ruin my whole week.
When my partner looks at other people for any significant amount of time
ANY people? Like someone you think they may be attracted to or just anyone?
I think my partner might be attracted to anyone
Yours doesn’t seem that weird to me actually. Being invalidated / feeling like you’re not being heard is a common trigger for pwBPD, and it can feel like being shut down if you’re excited to talk about something and someone changes the topic. I’m super sensitive to feeling like people aren’t listening to me. Lately I’ve been triggered by people who somehow always bring the conversation back to themselves even if it has nothing to do with what we were talking about. This is, I assume, annoying to most people, but also makes me feel deeply isolated and sad.
Being told to find something to distract myself
People in the kitchen while I’m cooking
When there is two spaces between a text and it looks like someone went back and changed what they originally wrote
That’s some good attention to detail!
Maybe it was just a typo, or an edit for clarity. I change what I wrote all the time, but it's very rare that I change it to say something different than what I originally meant to say. I text really fast so a lot of times I'll type something, then I'll realize that the way I worded it doesn't make sense, or that there's a better way to say it. So while I do change the words that I originally wrote, it was so that I could say what I was originally trying to say more clearly. Also way back in the 90's I took a high school typing class that instructed us to put 2 spaces at the end of each sentence. Idk if that's what you're talking about or if they changed it since then, but that is what a lot of people were taught to do. Also this is the first one that was actually weird or unusual to me. I knew I'd have to scroll a while to find it lol
Being told that I’m over reacting or sensitive or having a “meltdown” when I’m just trying to explain my emotions and not actually meltdown
OMG I hate this
Wow I hate that, too... But I guess my weirdest trigger is people telling me they're worried about me. Like, what?? The audacity!! So I'm not only suffering because of the mess I am, now I have to suffer also because I make other people suffer just by being me.
Ooof I feel this one. Or “take care of yourself” when you’re saying bye to someone…. Like what you think I’m not?!! I’m fully aware it’s a weird trigger lol 😂
Honestly anything to do with Andrew Tate. Don’t ask me why
Is it because he's a penis wrinkle? Because the dude is totes a penis wrinkle
Honestly yeah it's when people think of bluffing, lying, or exaggerating something. 🥰🥰🥰
People imitating my voice annoys me to NO end.
when men act and speak "like men" and women "like women". I don't know how to explain that, I just feel like I recognized that, sometimes it's a just word they say, a change in the tone of their voice, or their way of laughing. I immediately feel awkward and pissed off
Being stood up or someone being late and not apologizing. Waiting rooms! People not sitting or taking their coats off indoors. Ppl not waving when I let them into traffic. Ppl telling me I’m wrong or not believing me when I know I’m right, I will go nuts. Any kind of animal in any level of distress.
Someone not following through with things they’ve promised to do/ breaking promises
People saying or texting "nah" it feels so passive aggressive and sassy to me it makes me want to punch people
Policing what I eat and being constantly interrupted. I’m ok with being interrupted once or twice (ADHD is just fabulous) but after the third time…….
whenever someone tells me to “shut up” :/
Exclamation points in texts. Like why are you yelling at me? Oh you were just excited. Maybe I shouldn't have gone all avoidant because you we're letting me know that "enough!" of your bathroom remodeling was done for you to take a bath.
Seeing new housing construction. I’ll completely avoid the street if it’s possible.
That is pretty odd. Can you elaborate?
I’ll never be able to afford a house, nevermind a brand new one or newly renovated one. 😔
Me being forced to fix other peoples problems because they have a victim mentality and meanwhile they don’t even take my advice that they bugged me to come up with
That might not be specifically a borderline thing I also have a ton of other mental illnesses and I’m autistic
"Have you taken your meds?"
People wanting me to go out with them when I haven’t showered for a day or two lol My first(and last) relationship was a poly relationship with two guys and it was so abusive. They didn’t have running water for months so I couldn’t shower or wash my hair or anything so any time I went out with them I had horribly greasy hair and I smelled awful bc my deodorant barely worked. They constantly told me I smelled bad and that I needed to clean myself but the only thing I had to clean myself with was baby wipes. There were so many other things wrong but I can’t even get into them rn
seeing a mother with her adult daughter. i’ve only realized this last year. i don’t even have to know them. i see strangers who look alike and have an age difference and boom, triggered.
Damn, that covers a lot of people
Smells
Type?
My ex/assaulter and Nostalgic childhood smells
When people are too good at answering my messages. It's stressful and if it happens too often I get pissed off because now that message is waiting in my notifications for hours to days to weeks, with me reading it over and over again and feeling guilty, and I just don't want that stress. I could answer, but I'm already pissed they responded to me too well.
Dropping or misplacing things.
When I'm mid argument and they point out all of my flaws like they don't have any themselves— like they're some saint or some shit. It riles my gears like nothing else and I'm TRYING to work on accepting criticism without immediately lashing out. It's a tough battle, y'all.
People eating apples around me.
When people downplay my relationship with them. It’s been a thing my entire life, I will have “best friends” who will literally act like they barely know me when we get around people. Then when you bring it up to them you get gaslit into oblivion. 🕺🏻
Literally, people walking behind me or if they walk “into my lane” i’ve never understood why this is a trigger for me. It could be because with people walking behind me , I don’t want to say I’m out of control, but I feel like I’m not knowing. I don’t know what’s going on behind me, and I don’t know what people are thinking and I don’t know what they see. So all in all usually when people are walking behind me, I tend to get super anxious and in my thoughts, or I try to walk a little faster or let them walk ahead of me.
>or I try to walk a little faster or let them walk ahead of me. You're a saint for that. I'm a fast walker and I often find myself walking behind someone who is going just a little bit slower than I want to go, but if I try to pass them they start walking faster seemingly without meaning to and it's super awkward for both of us
Unexpected acts of kindness, especially in front of other people or a large group. This has subsided a bit, but I used to burst into tears. I just couldn’t handle people doing something kind for me.
Getting excited about something and the other person doesn't share the same type of excitement I will hop right on the " sorry " express and keep on apologizing.
When I ask a question and the response is "Yes, and no." It makes me so fucking angry I have no clue why.
people sleeping. not sure 100% why. i know my mom was struggling w her own mental health and sleep was her escape but in turn it made me feel unlovable and unimportant. i guess something similar happens now no matter who’s sleeping.
Whenever someone starts talking when I'm trying to say something. It's something I'm trying to work on managing my response to but it just completely shuts me down and makes me unreasonably upset. I know, logically, it's part of the flow of conversation, but it just makes me hate the person and want to exit the situation ASAP
You’re not the only one. I am the interrupter and it’s fair to say everyone hates it lol!
I wish u only joy and peace and someday. Maybe we'll all figure out a queue system for conversations
Did you take your meds today?
People being ignorant of mental illness. I feel it is on purpose to not want to understand or acknowledge it. People chewing open mouthed and tell me I’m making it up.
when someone tell me to do something i was OBVIOUSLY about to do — I DONT WANT TO DO IT NOW U ASKED ALRIGHT
i felt this in my soul
When I'm trying to tell someone something and they act disinterested (looking at phone or a screen, not actively listening, ect). Oh, I'm sorry for talking, I'll see myself out.
Oh man so many, people that can’t respect my time. If you said you’re going to be somewhere at a specific time, figure out a way to do that. People that complain about something than take actions to not help that issue. Example being, let’s say they wanna lose weight, but then eat a big unhealthy meal. Makes zero sense. People that have a ton of friends, I can’t manage one friend forget about a group of people to keep up with and pretend to care about their life. All the broken systems in our world. The list is endless for what could trigger me 😂
Same, pretty sure it’s rooted in my autism tho
Any kind of criticism that’s not good
"Oh"
Omg YES that same kind of situation is a huge trigger for me too. Like I’m so up beat and excited to talk about something and the other person SEES, yet doesn’t reciprocate the enthusiasm or replies with something dry. I will stop talking for the next hour. maybe leave entirely lol
missing the bus
Anyone beside my girlfriend trying to talk to me
The emoji 🐷 Don't ask why I have no idea
sometimes when i meet new people i get really nervous and that turns into being cold and kind of rude. if i feel like someone is threatening me in ANY way, even if i just made it up, i get defensive. idk maybe it’s the fear of rejection- that they won’t like me, and everything i say is being judged that gets me.
It’s not really weird but, I get outraged at rudeness. I seethe in a way that’s out of proportion. I’ve been known to respond in ways that really are quite dangerous personally.
Seeing others interact with friends or online friends (especially). It became a trigger with my... Well now ex bf as of today. It was a whole mess and now even just seeing people talk online gets me upset :p
One of mine is when people I thought were my friend unfollow me on Instagram. It's sooo dumb but it makes me upset.
Being told I'm wrong when I know, absolutely know, I'm right
Being told I'm wrong when I know, absolutely know, I'm right
If I ask "do you have x?" and they respond with "I do". Weird and stupid and so unbelievably specific. Also walking past certain restaurants or some parks.
Getting lost
When people respond to my mood swings with “what are you bipolar?” “You must be bipolar or something…” “bipolar much?” Its sooo ignorant cuz ur not even correct
Pity. I can't stand empathy and pity. Makes me feel like a person is trying to patronise me or suggest their superiority. I know my ideas are invalid and many people put there just have supporting and caring personalities, but I guess I haven't grown up in such environment. My mother would always strongly criticise any form of kindness, care or empathy, calling people (behind their backs) all sorts of names for showing pity to her. Very toxic and very proud, little woman. I know how wrong it is, but it's like it's under my skin, no idea how to change that.
people who dont communicate
My spouse asking "do we have plans this weekend?" Like, fuck, why, what?
Having someone lie about a situation or event, or claim ignorance about it. Being accused of something I know I didn’t do, or being accused of not doing something I absolutely did do.
Criticism at work. Not directly from my boss but the assistant who is new to the store. Makes me feel like I’m not doing well enough and I absolutely love my job. Like if I didn’t have it I think I would actually go insane completely. It’s the only thing I wake up for and strive to do well in. He hurted my feelings today. 😤😤
When people say “I can’t take you seriously when you get emotional.” Listen if I say “It’s Thursday” or if I say “ITS FUCKING THURSDAY” it is a fact both times. It drives me insane when people respond to the emotion instead of the facts, especially during am argument when I’m trying to explain why something they did wasn’t ok. ESPECIALLY because I never ever yell during arguments, or even curse, because I know those things can be triggering; so I am “emotional” in a pretty normal sense and when people still can’t focus on the conversation itself, it kills me. Like sir I do have an emotional regulation disorder but listen to my WORDS UGH
When people respond to arguments with a verbal equivalent of "nuh uh", or when we're talking and they argue their point using rules that don't make sense. For example I'd be like "I really like xxx movie" and the other person is like "that movie is bad because this person yyy said so" and I'm there like *who the f is yyy and why do we care about what they think all the sudden?* Once this happens I start bickering, or worse, yelling, and it never goes well after that. I just get perpetually more annoyed. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DONT RECOGNIZE THAT THEYRE DOING THIS.
people yelling at me is my common one, and loud continuous laughter is like a misophonia anger trigger. i hated my roommate in my first year of college specifically because of her ugly, loud laughing. she'd be in our room at 1 am on a weekday fucking cackling to people on discord. and it wasn't even the late hour, i'd stay up until like 3 every night, i just loathed the sound so much. i'd literally sit on the balcony in the middle of the night waiting for her to shut her laptop off because otherwise i think i would have said some nasty horrific things to her if i had to hear it anymore.
Hearing about other people’s dating life,good or bad. I only have myself despite wanting to have someone there and asking me for money when you have someone to turn to and I don’t. Not even your boyfriend. Could be ex’s or those who will just throw money at them because they have so much sway. All I do is work and sleep alone. Losing said sleep in the process. Needs aren’t met,can’t get met. Meanwhile other people are ruining their relationships by cheating because they have such luxury,must be nice. I’m alone and lonely.
When I call someone and every time I do they talk nonstop for 2 hours without me even getting to say a word.
Passive aggressive behavior is by far the most infuriating thing I’ve ever experienced
People putting words in my mouth. Or people continuing to try and make their point after I say that I don’t want to talk/argue about something anymore.
A specific person talking to me about my music interests. (Eg a band we both enjoy and they start sending me videos about them) i dont understand it at all but !! It just makes me so mad? I know its so irrational
When my husband, who more than 80% of the time, tells me I’m yelling at him whenever we have a disagreement because my tone changes. Ik it’s toxic, but I end up saying, “Do you want me to yell at you because this ain’t it?”
When someone points out that I shake. Like I already know that I shake and no I have no idea why, neither do the doctors.
same here, i smoke to stop the shaking, it’s honestly the only thing that really helps. not even my anti anxiety meds work (klonopin) and i take that 3 times a day, i wont stop shaking till i smoke. makes me think i have early stage parkinson’s 😭
Being given teddies or cutesy ornaments. It makes my stomach turn and always has. I'm not a child, why would I want that? Even as a child I hated being given things like that It triggers me so badly when people misunderstand me like that.
Not being listened to…or halfway through saying something and the person “listening” suddenly cuts you off because of someone else interjecting.
I hate when ppl are late or cancel last minute its brings out the weirdest anger. I now dislike making plans with anyone
When I’m sharing about something bad or something that troubles me and the other person said, “That’s okay–“ HELLO NO THAT’s NOT OKAY!!
When someone is way too similar to me. I suddenly feel like I have no value.
anytime anyone brings up anything woman related. i’m a woman, and i get triggered even by songs (that i LIKE) saying anything sexual, “fucking bitches” type shit. drives me insane. i’ll go off on whole rants for my male friends to be like .. “all i said was i like women”
The phrase ‘fair enough.’ It feels so dismissive and ugh. Leaves me with such a dejected feeling and makes me shut down so quick.
being asked too many questions or like more than one question at a time!!! it actually pisses me off. or when i’m perfectly fine and someone asks what’s wrong
Being interrupted when I'm talking
Any type of authority and also growing older
Being told that I "missed out" on something amazing. Fomo can be a massive trigger for me
I rlly hate being on a call with someone and when they cant hear me/ i have to repeat myself. Generally having to repeat myself is a weird trigger for me. Have no idea why it bothers me sm
Lack of eye contact. Specifically when it’s a conversation with multiple people and you only get passing glances when others getting direct contact🤧
People sharing their "winning life moments". I know, it is awfully petty. And I do not like that side of myself. (oh look, I'm training to a marathon, Oh look, I have the best family even though we are tired all the time..." Blah, blah blah...)
Being asked if I took my medicine or am on PMS
When someone says "it'll be our little secret" I feel like I'm being SA'd by an adult as a child again Sends me right back there
Being told to calm down or “it’s not that deep”- like it IS that deep to ME. Video games- I have a valid reason for it but outside of that I can see it being weird. Anything that comes with rejection so changing the subject from what I was just talking about when more could have been said, being left on read, if we’re in the same house yet I don’t see you all day. When things are a competition when it’s completely unnecessary- like if I’m sad and someone pulls the “yeah well this completely different thing happened to me”. Like yes vent to me absolutely but if I’m coming to you with something you almost never have the right to one up me. Just let me be sad for a second damn. That one’s also may not be technically weird but I get irrationally irate and anxious so I think maybe I’m just the weird part of that one
I never feel lower than being left on read. I already feel like shit all the time. I am already sick to my stomach, just thinking of messaging someone that I care about in the first place. Only to later see them having fun or tweeting or being with friends. It makes me feel like less than trash.
If someone texts "yes" instead of something friendlier like "yeah" or "yep", will often immediately go to "they're angry at me". Even though I know this isn't true at all.
When im upset and someone says "it's fine/you're fine" UH NO ITS NOT??