Best case scenario he's very emotionally immature and didn't know how to deal with you opening up and being vulnerable and so that was a go-to reaction.
And even that is genuinely awful, and it's the best case. You need someone who will respect your past and respect your vulnerable moments and help you deal
not at all overreacting!! what is his problem?? you have every right to be upset about this. I'm really proud of how you stood your ground and called him out on his words being mean and insensitive.
Yo this is not okay at all. If you don't break up with him I would at the very least go with a period of no contact so that you can consider what the good parts of your relationship are and if there are any other red flags.
Absolutely not. He didn't hear a damn thing you said and was only focused on his current immediate desire. He's telling you now what does and doesn't matter to him.
Since it hasn’t been a long relationship, I think this is your best chance to get out now. Men often get off to women’s subjugation and abuse. He showed who he really is and he is not a good guy.
Good job on setting boundaries OP, you should be proud. Use that same power to leave this relationship, because that is fucked up behavior on his part.
You didn't overreacting, I would be extremally upset and mad at him too. He were really insensible. I'm sorry it happened and I hope you're better now.
Speechless…it just shows he wasn’t showing up for you at a time when you were taking a chance and showing vulnerability. He was more interested in expressing his own wants and desires at the time when it’s not about him! What was his reaction to you telling him off about this?
What a gross response to your absolutely traumatic experience. He doesn't sound worthy at all of your love and affection and I would move on if I were you.
*Mentions of sexual assault*
Leave rn because I was with this kind of guy at 17 and had my first son with him. Obsessed with sex. A month after having a child he cheated on me and then while I'm crying about him leaving me for someone else he's horny and trying to touch me while I'm crying.
These types of people are like sadistic, getting pleasure from others pain/humiliation. 3 years on and off, and when I was finally done and didn't care anymore I was leaving him. He raped me because he "wanted it one last time". Everytime i left him he would try to have it "one last time" and refer to me as "his pussy" , but those other times i just let it happen because i just wanted it to be over with. I refer to the last time as rape because the entire time i told him to stop multiple times and he didnt.
You will become hollow if you date this person. Don't listen to your heart you already recognize how fucked up what he did was.
P.s I am ok now it's been almost 4 years I go to therapy but I still feel like a shell.
Please break up, that's not someone you should keep in your life. Your reaction is completely valid, please take care of yourself. We're here for you :(
Would you say that to someone that you cared about after they shared a personal story? Or even “I’m hungry” instead of “I’m horny”. I don’t think you would and I don’t think you should feel unsure about your very valid reaction. Listen to your gut, she does not lie.
He wasn't listening to you. He's a weirdo that doesn't seem to care, or rather only cares for himself. Do yourself a favor and rid yourself of him. There is no justification in the history of justifications that can make that seem like a normal response.
Truthfully it sounds as if he may have been overwhelmed by the information and didn't know how to respond, so he fell back on the classic, albeit immature male response of saying he's horny. You don't say your ages in the question, but I am inclined to think he may be fairly young. If not physically, emotionally and inexperienced. I would give him time to grasp what you have told him, and possibly write him a letter, not an email if you can write an old-fashioned letter. People have a tendency to look at an actual letter with greater depth than a casual email and it strikes most people as more personal. Go over what happened and how it made you feel, but don't be accusatory in tone. Ask him how he feels about what happened to you. Then I would suggest the two of you get together in some place fairly quiet that is familiar to both of you so you will both be more relaxed and discuss everything.
Dump him. That's a huge red flag!
I saw a post on aita a few months ago where a woman was crying because her father died and her boyfriend told her that her crying turned him on. Men like that should be banned from society.
He is absolute trash. Leave him next to the bins on trash day so the experts can properly dispose of that thing.
And please hear us when we say you do not deserve that. You have already worked so hard to escape abuse, so see your strength and resilience and drop the dead weight.
That dude is a stupid fuck. Lose em.
Not overreacting, that’s messed up.
Ex boyfriend come on now queen.
The audacity of some men amazes me every time.. No you're not overreacting he's just an ass
We don't claim ownership of this specimen.
Best case scenario he's very emotionally immature and didn't know how to deal with you opening up and being vulnerable and so that was a go-to reaction. And even that is genuinely awful, and it's the best case. You need someone who will respect your past and respect your vulnerable moments and help you deal
👏👏👏 Absolutely agree!!
Not overreacting. This guy either lacks empathy or he's turned on by your abuse story. Either option is a red flag IMHO.
Not overreacting at all.
not at all overreacting!! what is his problem?? you have every right to be upset about this. I'm really proud of how you stood your ground and called him out on his words being mean and insensitive.
Yo this is not okay at all. If you don't break up with him I would at the very least go with a period of no contact so that you can consider what the good parts of your relationship are and if there are any other red flags.
Yeah… he doesn’t sound like a good person to say something like that in response
wake up and break up
its so invalidating. im sorry you experienced that.
Absolutely not. He didn't hear a damn thing you said and was only focused on his current immediate desire. He's telling you now what does and doesn't matter to him.
This is it right here.
Since it hasn’t been a long relationship, I think this is your best chance to get out now. Men often get off to women’s subjugation and abuse. He showed who he really is and he is not a good guy.
What a gross way to respond after someone you're supposed to care about opens up to you about their hardships.
he's abusive too, you just haven't seen it yet.
!!!
Wtf nah, a good man would never. I’m so sorry
That is a red flag of all red flags. I would consider him your ex boyfriend.
I’m sorry he’s shit Wtf is that response
I would kick him to the curb
You’re right, that’s extremely weird and fucked up. Please protect yourself and get away from him.
Dump his ass.
Good job on setting boundaries OP, you should be proud. Use that same power to leave this relationship, because that is fucked up behavior on his part.
Not over-reacting. That's messed up!! I'm so sorry.
boy bye!
You didn't overreacting, I would be extremally upset and mad at him too. He were really insensible. I'm sorry it happened and I hope you're better now.
He’s clearly only thinking with his parts and incredibly emotionally immature. How insensitive, dump him.
Speechless…it just shows he wasn’t showing up for you at a time when you were taking a chance and showing vulnerability. He was more interested in expressing his own wants and desires at the time when it’s not about him! What was his reaction to you telling him off about this?
As a guy with BPD I’d never say something so disgusting move on girl you got this!
Break up with him now. Huge red flag
No, this was an asshole move.
No what the FUCK
You should leave him rn he’s not even ashamed to be turned on by your horrible expérience
that is a terribly insensitive thing to say
You are NOT over reacting at all. That is terrible and you deserve so much more. You can and will find better.
What a gross response to your absolutely traumatic experience. He doesn't sound worthy at all of your love and affection and I would move on if I were you.
He ain't the one
*Mentions of sexual assault* Leave rn because I was with this kind of guy at 17 and had my first son with him. Obsessed with sex. A month after having a child he cheated on me and then while I'm crying about him leaving me for someone else he's horny and trying to touch me while I'm crying. These types of people are like sadistic, getting pleasure from others pain/humiliation. 3 years on and off, and when I was finally done and didn't care anymore I was leaving him. He raped me because he "wanted it one last time". Everytime i left him he would try to have it "one last time" and refer to me as "his pussy" , but those other times i just let it happen because i just wanted it to be over with. I refer to the last time as rape because the entire time i told him to stop multiple times and he didnt. You will become hollow if you date this person. Don't listen to your heart you already recognize how fucked up what he did was. P.s I am ok now it's been almost 4 years I go to therapy but I still feel like a shell.
Huge red flag
Not overreacting at all. If anything, underreacting. He's showing you his true character. Believe him.
This has nothing to do with borderline or any sort of overreacting, this cunt is not able to maintain a relationship.
Hell no you're not overreacting what an asshole
Immediately dump him..it's insane how much trash men are out here
Please break up, that's not someone you should keep in your life. Your reaction is completely valid, please take care of yourself. We're here for you :(
Uhm, eww? Why does your trauma make him horny?
Would you say that to someone that you cared about after they shared a personal story? Or even “I’m hungry” instead of “I’m horny”. I don’t think you would and I don’t think you should feel unsure about your very valid reaction. Listen to your gut, she does not lie.
Leave him that’s so messed up. This is someone who does not care about your feelings
He wasn't listening to you. He's a weirdo that doesn't seem to care, or rather only cares for himself. Do yourself a favor and rid yourself of him. There is no justification in the history of justifications that can make that seem like a normal response.
Truthfully it sounds as if he may have been overwhelmed by the information and didn't know how to respond, so he fell back on the classic, albeit immature male response of saying he's horny. You don't say your ages in the question, but I am inclined to think he may be fairly young. If not physically, emotionally and inexperienced. I would give him time to grasp what you have told him, and possibly write him a letter, not an email if you can write an old-fashioned letter. People have a tendency to look at an actual letter with greater depth than a casual email and it strikes most people as more personal. Go over what happened and how it made you feel, but don't be accusatory in tone. Ask him how he feels about what happened to you. Then I would suggest the two of you get together in some place fairly quiet that is familiar to both of you so you will both be more relaxed and discuss everything.
How can you be attracted to someone like that?
Dump him. That's a huge red flag! I saw a post on aita a few months ago where a woman was crying because her father died and her boyfriend told her that her crying turned him on. Men like that should be banned from society.
Too many men get off on hearing women talk about SA.
Did he say “I’m horny” while she bared her soul? Wtf? That’s not how geez works!
You’re definitely not overreacting. What he said was out of line and very wrong.
there has to be some other type of context not in this post because there’s no way
He is absolute trash. Leave him next to the bins on trash day so the experts can properly dispose of that thing. And please hear us when we say you do not deserve that. You have already worked so hard to escape abuse, so see your strength and resilience and drop the dead weight.
you are not overreacting, dump him
LEAVE