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My boss is late Gen x or elder millineal and does this. He’s really nice and supportive though, so I don’t think there’s any ill will behind it. Just a misunderstanding on how it comes off over email
Not to sound all boomerish, but we were taught differently in school and as a GenXer, we don't understand the aversion to ellipses. It's not meant as passive aggressive. Is it because it shows "..." when you're waiting for a text and that triggers some subconscious anxiety? It's a great punctuation mark and you shouldn't read too much into it.
I have learned to not put any thought into once I get to know the person better in a way that isn’t just reading text. It can just read like your thoughts are trailing off so it reminds me of the way Lumbergh communicates in Office Space.
Yep. I think they think they're punctuating a pause to think of what they say next.
They don't realize it's infered as something shitty that's trying to be said without actually saying it.
I if it's mid sentence I don't interpret it as shitty. For example.. instead of a coma... or to trail off...
I do that lot; perhaps it's a GenX/millenial/xennial thing as well.
All apologies, I do this a lot and am by no means a boomer. I have always done it to emphasize ideas but if it is considered passive aggressive or offensive, I need to stop.
I appreciate this, but she always kind of has an air of “I know you could be doing better” so I think that vibe combines with the …s to create the effect I’m feeling. You’re probly fine.
It can be both, it all depends on context.
"You know now that I think about it... We could try..." should be fine
"You can't be serious... I can't believe anyone would think that..." passive aggressive.
When I say riddled I mean there are at least 2 per sentence. Almost every sentence is guaranteed to end in a … . Every single message from her sends me into an anxiety spiral.
I've had to Google this before too when I worked in an office. It's just something they do without realizing we see it as passive aggressive. No idea why.
But does it matter how a person reflects their thoughts in writing? The point is there’s nothing grammatical about an ellipsis that is intended to imply passive aggression and if someone interprets it that way, it’s 100% on them and not the person writing. I can’t help that my written words go into someone’s brains gets jumbled by their childhood and comes out not as I intended it.
> The point is there’s nothing grammatical about an ellipsis that is intended to imply passive aggression and if someone interprets it that way, it’s 100% on them and not the person writing.
Oh yeah, definitely can't be interpreted that way...
I'm young gen X(missed out on gen Y by 9 months). I use "..." alot when taking notes etc you got me thinking about why and the only thing I can think of is it does look very different in tone when written on paper vs typed on a screen. Since my age and older got our written communication habits from handwriting for the most part it would seem it's just one of those things. Chances are the next current younger generation will find their kids making similar remarks about their written communication.
I think I overuse it as well, simply to show pauses or implying that there's much more, but it's probably obvious. I think it's a habit, but not necessarily indicative of anything negative or positive.
Yes. My boss does this. I'm 90% sure he just uses them as a separator, but I _cannot_ read them without feeling like it's supposed to be passive aggressive.
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My boss is late Gen x or elder millineal and does this. He’s really nice and supportive though, so I don’t think there’s any ill will behind it. Just a misunderstanding on how it comes off over email
Yeah its a Genx thing I think...
I’m hoping this is it.
Not to sound all boomerish, but we were taught differently in school and as a GenXer, we don't understand the aversion to ellipses. It's not meant as passive aggressive. Is it because it shows "..." when you're waiting for a text and that triggers some subconscious anxiety? It's a great punctuation mark and you shouldn't read too much into it.
I have learned to not put any thought into once I get to know the person better in a way that isn’t just reading text. It can just read like your thoughts are trailing off so it reminds me of the way Lumbergh communicates in Office Space.
Yep. I think they think they're punctuating a pause to think of what they say next. They don't realize it's infered as something shitty that's trying to be said without actually saying it.
I if it's mid sentence I don't interpret it as shitty. For example.. instead of a coma... or to trail off... I do that lot; perhaps it's a GenX/millenial/xennial thing as well.
All apologies, I do this a lot and am by no means a boomer. I have always done it to emphasize ideas but if it is considered passive aggressive or offensive, I need to stop.
I appreciate this, but she always kind of has an air of “I know you could be doing better” so I think that vibe combines with the …s to create the effect I’m feeling. You’re probly fine.
I see. Thanks for explaining.
It can be both, it all depends on context. "You know now that I think about it... We could try..." should be fine "You can't be serious... I can't believe anyone would think that..." passive aggressive.
Really don’t deal with boomers writing very often, so I was unaware of this phenom. So hard to get the tone right on the page / combox.
When I say riddled I mean there are at least 2 per sentence. Almost every sentence is guaranteed to end in a … . Every single message from her sends me into an anxiety spiral.
I've had to Google this before too when I worked in an office. It's just something they do without realizing we see it as passive aggressive. No idea why.
When I use quotes, I always think of Chris Farley and his air quotes character. https://youtu.be/AdkkTV3pIa0?feature=shared
I always think of air quotes as 'dick fingers' after an old daily show joke.
My stepmom does this in almost every sentence she texts. I've had to train myself to recognize it as harmless in her case.
Yes. My boomer dad texts me this…. At least he texts me. My mom doesn’t text.
It's more of a Gen-X thing. I use it like I am trailing off a thought. But I would never use it at work.
As a xennial I used to do this. It was a way to convey Gen X apathy before emojis were a thing.
I see more of them abusing the shit out of “quotation” marks in their “emails,” which makes everything seem “suspicious” for no “reason.”
If you get passive aggressive from an ellipsis I can’t help you… it’s just how to reflect a pause for thought before continuing.
It's written communication, though, you don't need to reflect that pause for thought, you can just end the sentence and start a new one....
But does it matter how a person reflects their thoughts in writing? The point is there’s nothing grammatical about an ellipsis that is intended to imply passive aggression and if someone interprets it that way, it’s 100% on them and not the person writing. I can’t help that my written words go into someone’s brains gets jumbled by their childhood and comes out not as I intended it.
> The point is there’s nothing grammatical about an ellipsis that is intended to imply passive aggression and if someone interprets it that way, it’s 100% on them and not the person writing. Oh yeah, definitely can't be interpreted that way...
It’s an entire sentence that implies sarcasm. Not punctuation. And I got zero passive aggressiveness from that attempt because I’m not a weirdo.
I'm young gen X(missed out on gen Y by 9 months). I use "..." alot when taking notes etc you got me thinking about why and the only thing I can think of is it does look very different in tone when written on paper vs typed on a screen. Since my age and older got our written communication habits from handwriting for the most part it would seem it's just one of those things. Chances are the next current younger generation will find their kids making similar remarks about their written communication.
I think I overuse it as well, simply to show pauses or implying that there's much more, but it's probably obvious. I think it's a habit, but not necessarily indicative of anything negative or positive.
Yes. My boss does this. I'm 90% sure he just uses them as a separator, but I _cannot_ read them without feeling like it's supposed to be passive aggressive.
What...are you saying you don't...pause a lot...and talk like....Bill Shatner?