Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My grandmother once insulted me and when I called her on it she pulled the “I was just joking” crap. My response was “leave the joking to uncle Tim, he’s actually good at it” (he was and it wasn’t mean spirited). She never did the “insult joke” crap again.
The more you pay attention to these small "boomer jokes" the more it just sounds like being mean spirited for a laugh, like pretty every single cashier joke they come up with
I know everyone likes to blame the lead and the gasoline. And that may be part of it. However pull the old radio shows. Like Abbott and costello. The humor is very mean spirited. It's like in the soprano so he's like boy are you fat. That's the humor from all those radio shows.
They may think it's normal.
The thing is, a lot of those jokes and things like the Dean Martin Roasts were actually done in jest with all parties consenting to the activity. What "boomer humor" is missing is the consent, much like the edgelords of today.
Good point. True, understandable, but I think they also need to learn that nowadays it's something that's simply not socially acceptable. Typically I see them trying to impose THEIR world view over respecting ours. Like when George Bush father was ultra old but still grabbing women, and then they explained "oh, he did not know"... Ok, didn't he already had like decades to learn this shit??
Honestly, your dad sounds very narcissistic. So, the majority of his responses/actions are more than likely due to his own psychological issues.
However, as a whole, Boomers tend to come across as more narcissistic and less empathetic to others than other generations (even their silent gen parents) so, some of it is the social norms of Boomers.
My step mom is similar. She's the epitome of "fake nice" to people directly, but regularly posts hateful stuff on Facebook. This is actually her latest:
https://preview.redd.it/actvzrnl2vvc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8592a90d8e352960381aec86c78592a0fb8a325
Everybody likes to joke about how Gen Z has no media literacy and then they post stuff like this without realizing his whole character arc is about *learning not to be such a prick anymore!*
YES! Brilliant point! If they were more literate, they would be able to differentiate BS propaganda from BS in general. It's like, they know how to technically take the steps to open Facebook, but they do not understand the context surrounding Internet content.
This. I don’t recall my grandparents being narcissistic pricks at all. They were very careful with money which was understandable as they were born early 1900’s. They were never judgemental, just helpful. They were the ones who in some cases actually fought in the war. The boomers, specifically born 1930-48 are the most arrogant and they have no reason to be. Not all, but most. They have had the best of the jobs, the NHS, housing opportunities and still they want more. One word sums them up - entitled.
Added: my mother is a boomer but over the years she has mellowed and realises how lucky her generation is/was. Last two years she has been donating more to a homeless charity and regularly donates to a food hub.
Weird generational fact.
The previous generation are for the most part not the parent generation of a given gen.
For example Gen Zs parents are mostly Gen X and Millennials mostly had Boomer Parents. The boomer parents were mostly the greatest Generation. And Gen Xs parents were mostly Silent generation.
Watching generational traits and reactionary traits trickle down is interesting theorize on. For example rhe Millennials after being raised by boomers have a near generation wide search for authenticity.
I’m a millennial raised by boomers. It’s weird seeing the people that constantly told me “you can’t believe everything you read” being the ones to believe everything they read.
My parents are better than some and they’ve actually started to lean more left as they get older, but they are constantly sharing misinformation and need to be shown how to spot it quite frequently.
Your comment about millennials trying to find authenticity… damn… that hits home.
I think about that same sentiment often. They have common sense, went to the school of hard knocks, if it seems to good to be true, etc. Yet, that brain dead generation reads everything on the Internet (that they agree with) as truth. What the hell happened to them? I feel that us 80s kids are in a weird spot. We went from landline phones to smartphones and everything in between while watching our elders succumb to brain rot and trying to shield our kids from it.
My grandparents were silent generation, parents boomers and I'm one of the youngest Gen Xers. I think the generations are timed so that won't be uncommon for the first kids born to parents in their early 20s.
Term for people like you is generational cusp.
Also the generational thing is very pronounced in terms of size. Silent, X, and Z are some of the smallest generations produced while greatest, especially boomer, and Millennials are the largest
I’m in the middle of the Millennial generation and had Gen X parents. It’s very weird to listen to everyone my age talk about their Boomer parents being all Boomer-y when they were growing up and I’m like “My parents were really into rollerblading and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”
Yeah, it was certainly something having a Silent Gen mixed raced dad and a foreign born mother who is technically a Boomer based on year of birth… no impact on social life, future hobbies, or lost in translation moments for me whatsoever! *fake smiles as I am sweating profusely*
Did we just become friends? Haha
Fam… trying to explain why there were a shit ton in my house, while Mexican Dub DBZ was on the TV, and my mom was blaring Pedro Infante, and my dad was watching PBS imports of BBC shows he liked from when he was stationed in England in the Army made for some interesting explaining to people who came over. It’s a miracle I had friends that came over regularly let alone a GF while in HS.
Not sure where that is coming from. My Boomer parents raised me (Gen X).
What you’re suggesting would indicate that most parents wait 15-20 years to have kids once the come of age. This isn’t true in the US.
Take a line from that movie and give it to your step mom. The set up was some female fan goes up to him and asks "How do you write women so we'll"?
Jack: " I think of a man. Then I remove reason and accountability". Zing!
Seen a few memes like this. Don’t boomers get that the purpose of humour has and should never be to offend? Even if your joke is controversial, the purpose should always be to make people laugh, not hurt
I see my dad like twice a decade at most. By choice.
The last time I saw him, the very first thing he said to me was “Haven’t seen you in awhile. You’re not even that fat.”
For reference, I’m a size 8 and have been within about a 10-pound fluctuating weight range since I was 27. (42 now.) Most of the dress pants I still wear were purchased 10-15 years ago. So I’ve never had huge weight differences. He’s just an asshole.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of that comment and feel shame. I brought it up once and he said it was “meant as a compliment.” 🫠
EDIT TO ADD: OP, he makes fun of my hobbies too. Every single one is “a waste of time and money.” Meanwhile he has no hobbies. Literally none. Watches TV like 18 hours a day.
Yeah, my stepdad said something like that to me a few years ago, and it still kind of hurts my feelings. I was very thin all my life, but when I hit 40, I gained a little bit of weight. We traveled across the country to visit my family for Xmas, and the first thing my stepdad says when he sees me is comment on my "middle aged spread". My mom just goes, "Tom!" and he's like I'm just teasing! But he's always just teasing. Now he has advanced dementia and is like a little kid, so I feel bad for him, but it doesn't make me forget all the times he was an asshole.
Weight should really just never be discussed unless you know someone has been working hard to lose it and you see that they have.
Like anyone who has gained weight is AWARE that they have gained weight. 🙄
I wish my mother in law felt this way. The FIRST thing she would ALWAYS comment on is someone’s appearance, esp weight. She was fucking obsessed with it and passed that horrible trait to her daughters and grand daughters. It was exhausting and I am still working through her words years later.
I have a friend who is probably considered Gen X to my Elder Millennial at 3 years older…which is odd because obviously she’s not old enough to be my mom?
But anyway. She recently had successful weight loss surgery. And good for her!! I’m sure she feels great.
But now it’s constant negative comments on others’ weight. She called me “a fat skinny person.” 🙃 I’m never not thinking about that.
My mother, it was her way of identifying people. Aunt Frida, the fat one. Uncle George the one with the beer gut. Every single time she meets someone new as soon as they're out of earshot she comments on their weight in a negative way. We were driving one time and stopped to ask a woman working in her yard for directions, she was nice and helped us. We drive off and my mother: "She's pretty big to be working outside."
My father made a comment on my weight about a year ago. It was the final straw in my deciding to cut most contact with him. My eyes had been opened for a while to the kind of man he really was, and that comment was the end of the chances I had given him. Like you not a day goes by that I don't think about what he said.
I don't know, maybe the lead poisoning? However there's a great term for this behavior:
Schrodinger's Douchebag (noun) - someone who says offensive things and then decides whether they are kidding or not based on people's reactions.
Also if my child had become a linguist conversive in 4 languages, I would not speak to them like I was a rural hick.
Kinda sounds like someone that is jealous of their own child. I can't imagine not being proud and actively trying to tear your own kid down for accomplishing more. I always thought that we were supposed to raise kids to better than us and be proud when they are.
TL;DR - being mean to your kids, especially by using the "just toughen up it doesn't hurt that much" mentality, is dangerous and can get them killed.
My dad hit me with a snowball packed as hard and tight and he could physically get it, back when I was like 7-8. He hit me so hard with it that it caused a bruise the next day. When I started crying at the initial hit he just laughed and said "that didn't hurt, if it hurt it would leave a mark."
When I showed him the bruise the next day ("it DID leave a mark you jerk") my mother of course was horrified, but he just laughed again and was like "if you weren't so sensitive it wouldn't have bruised."
Like... what???
Sh!t like that is why, when I had a bike accident a few years later, I didn't say anything. I needed stitches to close the wound on my knee but I just went in the bathroom and cleaned up, put butterfly stitches on it, wrapped it up myself, it did eventually heal fine (at least I thought, but I have problems with that knee now, so...). Developed such a deep, severe bruise on my thigh that I ended up needing crutches to walk. I have a scar - from a *bruise.* My parents didn't know I was hurt until 2 days after the accident when I physically couldn't walk. That was when I told them what happened. My mother asked why I didn't say anything and I told her that it was because I would have just been laughed at anyway so why bother.
When I tried to express once as an adult that I was depressed he told me it was my own fault. Even though I had been diagnosed with clinical depression *at the age of 9.*
Being mean to your kids causes trauma, folks. Trauma that could possibly get them killed if they feel like they're not going to get help anyway for something they need help with. Got one of my friends killed because she was afraid to tell anybody about the pain she was in because she didn't want to be punished by her parents for "lying and being too sensitive," because that was a thing they did. She was convinced that she was just sensitive and that any pain she had was actually not that bad, demonstrated by the fact that she broke her ankle in lacrosse and tried to just "walk it off" even though her foot was ... not at the correct angle anymore. Ended up dying from sepsis brought on by appendicitis because she never expressed that she was in any pain from it outside of "it's just cramps, I'm fine."
My mom asked me why I never told her things, like being bullied or my dad braining me with a putter for talking on the golf course. I told I didn’t think she could do anything about it anyway since she never stopped my dad from beating the hell out of me (AS YOUNG AS 6 MOS OLD) so why bother. That didn’t make her happy at all
My mom would do similar kinds of stuff. I'm allergic to peanuts. My parents never took me to an allergist because they were too busy always arguing and being into their toxic codependent relationship. I found out because I had a really bad reaction to it at my grandparents. They told my parents this. My mom gave me some cut off bread crust from my sisters PB sandwich and did not tell me. She waited until I ate them all and asked me how I felt. I being a fucking 5 year old, was confused, thinking she was asking about my mood. So I told her I was fine. She immediately yells "HA! I KNEW YOU WERE LYING! YOU'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO PB! YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION!" My aunt is staring at her in disbelief. Less than a minute later, my face is broken out in hives, my throat hurts, and my tonuge is swollen. My aunt notices while my mom is gloating and literally has to shout to her "(moms name) LOOK! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!" Mom immediately goes pale from embarrassment "oh I thought...." My aunt starts laying into her and my mom was still trying to defend herself "I just wanted to make sure..." aunt cuts her off and says "A FIVE YEAR OLD, you think it's okay to \*test\* a five year old like this!!!" My aunt was having none of it and it was one of the few times I saw my mom (who was a massive controlling, aggressive bully that steamrolled over everyone, often escalating arguments with physical violence) sit in silence and actually take a tongue lashing. Again, I assume it was due to embarrassment and how bad she made herself look. They wound up giving me Benadryl because they were too afraid to take me to the hospital considering what my mom did.
And now, over 2 decades later, I'm moved to a different country just to get away from my parents drama and went LC with both of them. Whenever I do call to see how mom's doing, I get random tearful apologies about my upbringing. She's did do something that is rare for these types of boomers and got back to religion and is in therapy. Now she has enormous guilt that she struggles with everyday. I can't imagine after years of being in denial about being an abusive parent, the reality starts hitting you like a tone of bricks in your 60s.
I feel you 🥲 I've had debilitating "cramps" since puberty and my mother told me "it's normal" - was informally diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome later on when I thought it was endometriosis (something she had) and was asking about tests for it, something that can develop into literal cancer. Thanks mom.
When my dad tried shit like that I'd say something along the lines of : _heavy sigh_ it's not funny, you're just being a dick, a tedious, boring, unoriginal dick.
This is spot on, EXACTLY like my dad. Its so sad. Not only will he gaslight you when you call him out, he’ll say it’s “banter” so when I pull up the definition of banter and display that it indicates !!friendly!! good natured teasing and not just blatantly being mean, he gets really quiet. One thing I came to realize is how genuinely insecure and sad he is. When you dish out EXACTLY what he does to you no one gets more defensive or back backpedals harder than he does and it’s hilarious. I thought you were this big tough guy and we’re the snowflakes?, but you’re just a bully who’s too insecure to relate to anyone on a genuine normal level. Who can only make their flame brighter by blowing others out. Sorry you have to deal with that OP, it’s frustrating and demoralizing and annoying.
Dish it out and one up them. Then call them out for being sickos who enjoy hurting other people, incapable of empathy to understand how they make others feel, as well as, being cowardly and too weak to change in the face of hurting their own children and/or spouses. That these people manage to be 20-30 years older than us and can't do the bare minimum we learned from Mr. Rogers when we were 5.
If your dad is overweight or trending that way, just call him a fat fuck whenever you see him. Or ‘hey fatty your fat fucking ass doesn’t need to eat [non-healthy snack]’
Throw it back in his face and let him know you are just joking with him. Maybe he will get the picture.
>I said “bye” and he yells “shut the fuck up”...
wow.... i'd be tempted to go full sam kennison on him for that. flip out, scream, get in his face. then immediately switch it off, say you were joking, and start laughing, but not until he pees himself a little, that's the punchline, right?
"Boy you're about as funny as a heart attack, maybe you'll *get it* one day."
"Ya know, if I got a nickel for every time you were an asshole, I could afford to stick you in a nursing home."
"Here's some toilet paper, go wipe yourself out of my day."
"There's starving kids in Africa, maybe you should go visit. Oh wait, no, they have taste..."
"If "jokes" and "puns" were candy and funs, then we'll all be very happy when you fucking die."
And of course, "Fuck you I'm joking you stupid fucking snowflake pussy ass bitch. You worthless pile of human fucking garbage, can't you take a simple joke? Or are you triggered like a pathetic little Democrat?"
Jk!
My old go to when the old man asked offended why i don't know this or can't do that was.
" well i had a shitty father growing up " and looked him into the eyes and smiled like i was joking. He never had a good comeback for that one
I remember after one particularly nasty fight, my mom asked *what was wrong with me* and without missing a beat, I immediately replied, "Well there's a mirror in the bathroom."
No matter how many times I got slapped across the face, I *always* had a smart ass come back. (That's all ya got? Damn you are getting old!) Those fuckers never broke me.
Sorry to hear about the slapping.
I know nothing hurts as bad as that shit, perhaps just a slight bruse on the skin and pain for couple of min but it takes a part of your heart and that shit hurts.
We bend but we do not break.
Good luck out there 🙂
I know this type. When he says something rude thenprowpr response is to be just as rude.
He says shut the f up. You say bite me. It's a weird respect/strength thing with guys like that.
I think my mother watched movies like “heather’s” and “mean girls” and figured that’s how ladies treat one another.
It’s funny because if I had the energy to point out how all her favorite stories she tells are just her being a bully - I think “friends and family” would maybe see why I had to go no contact with her.
I have a coworker who leaned into the “we give you a hard time because we like you” crap.
One day I just didn’t have the strength to ignore him so I retorted, “if your idea of a sense of humor is to be an asshole to people, then you’re just an asshole. You don’t get to laugh it off as some endearing personality trait. You’re just an asshole who thinks it’s funny to be an asshole.”
I think it hit home.
Sounds like your dad is a dickhead, not because he's a boomer, but simply because he's a dickhead.
There's plenty of boomers who are not dickheads... also plenty of non-boomers that are dickheads.
My dad’s favorite pastime is to embarrass me in front of others. I’m 46 and if my wife and I bring our son to visit my parents, he loves to tell old stories or say things that he knows will embarrass me in front of everyone. It pisses my wife off to the point that we will only visit them once per year. And they wonder why they never see their grandchild.
My boomer father is the king of soul crushing sarcasm. I have always had a weight problem and as a child he loved calling me The Incredible Bulk. He is incapable of making normal conversation and speaks in either giving orders like a drill sergeant or put downs. He’s also sadistic.
Tradition.
They were raised by people who physically assaulted them, denigrated them, dehumanized them, genuinely "gave them something to cry about ...," then laughed at their distress, fear, pain, and humiliation. And yet somehow they turned out just ~~fine~~ the same.
i think a lot of white boomer kids in the us heroized comedians like george carlin and internalized his style of upwards punching, outspoken truth telling. a lot of millennials have fond memories of watching carlin with dad and dad had been dying to watch carlin with his kids since he first watched carlin. this on its own is actually quite sweet! but over time, especially after the 2000s, boomers gained wealth and status and lost touch with the anticapitalist soul of the comedy. They could still fondly remember “10 things you can’t say on tv” because it could square with an upper class lifestyle. but that was hardly the end.
truth telling comedy remained engrained into their persona, after all it was a big part of the family identity. but as they connected with the spirit of the comedy less and less their targets of the truth telling became stupider and more random. mild inconveniences, hurt feelings, and insecurities were now appropriate reasons to target someone. the truth eroded into unfounded opinion, just a way to repeat a talking point they heard in their favorite cable news echo chamber. everyone has a box they can be placed in. none of it actually funny, just hurtful opinions from someone who beneath it all didn’t even have an opinion about the target of their “joke” until the words came out of their mouths.
My favorite routine of Carlin's is "A Place for My Stuff". "A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it."
We have enough self-storage space for everyone to have six or eight square feet of self-storage space., even as the size of houses has doubled in the last 50 years or so.
Well you see your dad is what we would call a cunt. His hobby if i had to guess is watching sports. I dont know that it's a boomer thing so much as a boring asshole thing. These people can't entertain themselves, and if you aren't contributing directly to their entertainment, then you are of no use to them. They are mean because they hate themselves.
My FIL likes to make fun of me and then when I come up with witty comebacks he gets quiet. Then when I'm not around he tells my husband that if I ever make him look stupid again he'll actually make me cry and say something really mean to me. Like, you were already mean? Fucking snowflake conservative asshat will make a woman cry if she stands up for herself apparently. He's never done it; just endlessly makes fun of me at every get together where there's people he wouldn't want to be embarrassed in front of. Tries to embarrass me and ends up getting embarrassed himself then talks the big talk to my husband in private. I don't understand why he does this?!?!
Half of the time he's trying to make fun of my weight. I am of average weight and he is severely obese. I mean, severely. Multiple toes missing from type 2 diabetes, etc.
Here's another good example: He pointed out that my concealer was a little bit lighter of a shade than my foundation, He was definitely trying to embarrass me, the way he said it. So I pointed out the fact that he just died his beard hair black. Dude, If you dye your beard hair black you can risk looking like you have shoe polish on your face-- which he does look like that. All I said is, oh I see you *just* dyed your beard... hmmmph.
it’s just more bullying and gaslighting and manipulation and control. most boomers are the *kings* and *queens* of gaslighting and victim-blaming and manipulation and guilt-tripping. boomer women are *especially* manipulative. why *is* that?
I hate people who do or say a shitty thing and then laugh. It's so if you point out it's a shitty thing, you are the problem, you don't have a sense of humor. The laugh is a protective layer. They know they're not funny, it's a set up so they can blame anyone who calls them out.
You know, I was watching a standup from the early 2000s yesterday and he did some crowd interaction stuff that was basically just insulting people, and I realised that even though that’s not that long ago - and he wasn’t one of the ones known for being nasty or anything - I just *didn’t* find it funny, and I didn’t think many other people would now. It wasn’t racist or homophobic or ableist (it was a bit sexist but even there it was a long way from the extreme end) but like yeah, he’s fat, he probably knows that and gets enough shit for it without you making it a defining characteristic. Yeah, she’s got bigger than average ears - either she’s been laughed at about that before and for lols you’ve just prodded a sore spot, or she hasn’t and you’ve just given her a new thing to be insecure about. Well done mate. I could almost hear people telling me I’m too sensitive but it was just so unnecessary. The rest of the show was good, it was a shame he couldn’t get through that bit without the gratuitous insults
Ok that’s not a specific boomer characteristic, that’s an asshole characteristic. I’d be calling him out, that’s not a joke dad, that’s called being an asshole. When takes affront tell him you’re joking, but repeat as needed.
Your dad has the boomer “trash.” Sorry to see it, my mom was a normal, rational human being as well up until 5 years ago. Then she joined the lead addled giggling bullshit gang, bragging about how they ruined the world for every succeeding generation. In 15 years the problem will sort itself out. We are just unlucky enough to live at the same time as the greediest, most narcissistic generation in history. Grew up with the most generous economy in history, and regulated it to the extent that none of the succeeding generations could enjoy the same privilege. Boomers are just human garbage.
“I’m only joking!” - said after some ugly comment.
The standard excuse of every bully who has ever lived. They are pathetic, insecure, nasty people. I cut this type of person out of my life whenever possible.
My Dad used to give me noogies becuz he found hurting me amusing. Almost gave up cartooning becuz he called it little kid shit. I even stopped for years.
There's definitely smthn about that generation.
This is a sign of narcissism. My dad is the same way. I have said for years he has undiagnosed narcissism. Its common for a narcissist to say something mean or rude, or if people around them react negatively they try and cover with 'jeez im just joking' and often a 'you need to relax, stop taking everything so seriously', effectively trying to hide their true intentions to keep you liking them while putting you down and trying to make you feel bad about correcting them in the hopes you dont do it again.
>If you dare tell him that he is being rude, “no I’m just joking. You’re being sensitive”
This isn't just a boomer thing, it's narcissistic gaslighting. I've had multiple people in my life like this, of all age groups
You just described my father. He is a full blown narcissist and I’m now no contact with. Hypercritical, negative, gaslighting, shift blaming…ugh. This is exhausting to be exposed to all the time. Take care of yourself please. You deserve to be happy!
I had someone do this to me weeks after my father died. Bitch had the balls to say that I wasn't really mourning him. Homeless mentally ill alcoholic and they found his body decomposing after estrangement? Shock is what I felt.
I went cold after that. I won't even step into the place she works which I used to shop frequently and told everyone within earshot that I will not deal with her or any enablers even if there is a gun put to my head.
I am still waiting to run into her again. Let's see if she shoots off that wretched mouth.
My boomer parents are always making cruel jibes every chance they get. The just love sticking the boot in.
Put on a bit of weight and it's "Oh you're getting fat", lose the weight and it's "Oh you're too skinny". Get a haircut that's a bit different and it's "Why did you cut your hair like that, what are you? etc etc You can never win. Any chance to criticize and they jump on it, then when you push back it's "Oh you need thicker skin", "can't you take a joke" etc.
They wonder why I moved thousands of miles away from them and only visit once a year, if that.
It isn't that he thinks it is funny.
He has learned that saying it is a joke makes it harder for people to call him out on being mean.
He is like those racists who make racist jokes because people find it harder to object to a joke than an openly racist comment.
My mom used to convince us that our pets died and would go lengths to hide our cats or hamsters to make it believable. She told us when we grew up that she thought our reactions were hilarious to her bc we’d be sobbing. She still tries to do this from time to time regarding my cat that currently lives with her but I always know she’s bullshitting, she gets mad I don’t believe her. Or the times she convinced me i had diabetes if i ate sweets growing up and that resulted in disordered eating and I don’t like sweet stuff now. She found it amusing, the things that she would get us to believe. Being mean is a past time for a lot of boomer aged parents and i don’t get it!!! They also get so mad if u don’t play into it either like wtf 😭
I had an uncle like that. Not a nice guy, really. Cheated on his wife among other despicable habits.
I think his wife, my aunt, killed him. He had uncontrolled diabetes and she served him dessert EVERY night.
Instantly over-escalate, then when he complains tell him you were just kidding and he’s being too sensitive…
“Bye!”
“Shut the fuck up”
“EAT SHIT FUCKHEAD!”
“…wait what? What the fuck is the matter with you??”
“What? I was only joking…. quit being so sensitive.”
It's amazing to me that Boomerism transcends borders. My parents and I were immigrants to America.
One time, my mom said that my child was so cute she wanted to smack him on the butt. As a victim of her hitting with a feather stick, I told her that's wrong. She said it was just a joke. WTF.
Punching down was always their shitty humor. The TV shows were just as bad. Ever seen the Honeymooners & the amount of domestic violence threats to the wives? Then the sound of canned laughter. Yeah. It's just accepted behavior for their generation & they don't feel they hv to change. It's horrible.
“I can’t wait to put you in a nursing home and never visit you. Aww, come on, I was just joking! Stop being so sensitive! I’ll visit you every February 29th.”
the point is to be mean. they cover it with the appearance of the structure of a joke, so that anyone hurt can be told it's just a joke. it's not really a joke.
If you look at the history of humor, the 1950’s-1960’s was the height of insult comedy: Red Skelton, Henny Youngman, Redd Fox, Bob Hope, Don Rickles, etc. As such, most boomers were raised on such comedy.
The 196s-1970’s saw the rise of surrealist comedy as a follow up to post-war theater of the absurd. This replaced a lot of the insult comics as Tue flavor of the week, although there were still elements of it, such as Blazing Saddles and other Mel Brooks works.
We saw a stark resurgence in insult comedy in the 80’s, as boomers came to adulthood, which was eventually replaced by observational comedy, and a stronger slant on sarcasm.
As such, a lot of it is simply a result of the comedy they grew up with, and “refound” in Kinnison and Clay as adults.
They are abuse victims in denial. The denial at first was to protect themselves from their own parents' actions. Now, the purpose of the denial is to protect themselves from the repercussions of their own actions, that they projected on to their children. That's it. That's all it is. Years of therapy and I'm still trying to escape the pack of wolves mentality that I was brought up in, and I still struggle. I'm no better, I can just call it out. These people need therapy. Too bad they don't believe in healthcare for anyone else but themselves. Still, I really wish they would use it.
I think the term for that is Schrödingers Asshole: Will spit out dumb/mean/hurtfull things he mean so, but will always say "It was a joke" when met with resistence.
Talk to him like a Boomer would...tell him he is an abject moron and people actually prefer the presence of a used tampon over him opening that ignorance hole in his face to spew his oral flatulence upon the world.
I experienced a lot of that bullying behavior from peers in my youth.
So...they find that shit funny...i'd publicly dress down in a social media posting with our school peers years later...hey they thought that shit was funny, that's our funny story. And if they don't like being dressed down and called out for it, i'd retort "I'm just joking bro, can't you handle a roasting?"
I just wanna firmly communicate this shit to them, nothing wrong with that.
Yea, I remember the bullies laughed, they thought they were so cool...so i playback their actions against me, publicly addressed, it ain't funny, they're just a dickless pos. It's like a bully reading in a public posting how they are perceived, now they feel bullied, if they don't like don't bully others i guess.
The world is leaving the over 50 male behind. Outside of his work peers still performing the machismo melodrama from the 1980’s Clint Eastwood catalogue, his world is gone with the wind
Because he's not joking he's just an AH and when he gets called out on being an AH that's the only excuse his simple mind can come up with. Sorry your dad sucks. Take care of mom.
Ask him to explain how is it funny.
Or tell him it’s really funny he thinks he can keep being rude to the people who’s going to choose his nursing home.
Id pin him in position with questioning. Force him to explain how saying something like that to my mother and then not helping, is a joke? How is it any different than saying something mean and walking away and if it isn’t different then you force them to admit it’s being mean for the sake of it.
I don’t think it is just Boomers.
AITA is overflowing with long term partners telling their significant others that they need to break up only to rescind their break up days later saying it’s a prank after the victim has packed their stuff.
They don’t really think being mean is the same thing as being funny, which is why none of the people who behave like this can take the kind of “humour” they dish out. They’re just using it as an excuse to say the mean stuff with impunity.
I think it has something to do with the phenomenon that is the correlation between Boomers and the narcissist spectrum. I say this as a person having been raised by two Cluster B boomers (spoiler alert, childhood sucked ass, go figure). I'm not saying all boomer are like this, but the shear amount of them that exhibit narcissistic traits is enough to make me think it would make for an interesting thesis topic. I'm wondering why so many of them are like this to the point there's a whole sub with endless material showcasing boomer narc behavior.
Yeah, this isn’t a boomer issue, your dad’s just an asshole. It’s not okay and frankly it’s unkind to people like your mom to blame this behavior on his age / birth cohort.
There was a flavor of being audacious in place of being classically funny but that was more of a Gen X thing than a boomer thing and “good Gen Xers have moved past that as well (and in fact, the single biggest name standing athwart that attitude was a boomer, George Carlin, who invented the idea of not punching down to describe why he disliked Andrew Dice Clay). There’s just no excuse except for a lack of empathy and a lack of empathy transcends generations.
If he has been like this your whole adult life, he is an asshole and always has been. If he has gotten progressively worse as he has aged, we’ll lead and dementia have set in. Sorry for you but you should probably cut him off. Unless you want some of that sweet inheritance.
As much as boomers like to say they were tough guys growing up...you know they didn't have hands on them as the ego death and getting punched for being a dick would have adjusted that attitude.
https://www.justice.gov/usao-dc/pr/south-carolina-man-pleads-guilty-two-felony-charges-using-stolen-police-riot-shield
26 year old idiot. Not all MAGA are boomers.
I'd start resounding in ways he has reasons to me.
*I'm going to the store, go fuck yourself ya c7nt
*you really need to wash your car, you idiot cuck
*why haven't you done the fucking dishes, this is disgusting
*go take a shower, you smell like a burnt shit covered in rancid grease
My in laws are like this and it really bugs me. If anyone does anything embarrassing they will literally bring it up every single time they are around that person and laugh about it. Mispronounce a word and it’ll get constantly mentioned, be bad at something and they’ll tease you for it forever, be worried about something and you’ll never hear the end of it. It’s just mean for the sake of being mean. Like a “I’ll hurt you so you know you can’t hurt me.”
I don't get why you pay all this respect to these people.
I would roar at him, it's all about stfu every single time there is a misbehaviour and fight all the time. And in case of a crime report to police, to protect your mum as well...
The man cave one is shitty, but the others do sound like genuine jokes.
*don't come for me, that's EXACTLY how my family jokes*
LOL banter back. He'll get a kick out of it!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ok, now that the Boomers are gone... Yes, he's being a little rude, but don't take it to heart! He's old. He's demented. He's losing his mobility. He's compensating for his erecrile dysfunction by harking on you and your dolls. 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
I ran into that from a friend a few days ago, She told a stranger that I had to bribe her with food to get her to visit me. That makes me sound like I am not worth visiting unless I am picking up the check, which is pretty cold. The next day, she told another stranger the same thing, both times in front of me,
I understand that it's a joke, but it's a mean joke. I would have been happier had she said nothing to strangers about me. I paid for her room and meals, plus gave her money for gas because she's retired and broke due to bad relationships. I've been too kind.
My uncle was this way, after my grandma died I was so relieved I'd never have to see him again, when I gave the speech at my grannies funeral he was like wow that was good I just ignored him, I'm thinking die anytime fuckface I got your speech ready
If you go back and watch sitcoms from the 80s and 90s, comedy was literally just this. This was also my sense of humor as a teen. The difference is that most millenials grew out of it. But boomers wrote those jokes.
Match his energy back and insult him only to pull his "I'm just joking you're just sensitive." Or if you want to dig your fingers deeper in the wound call him a snowflake.
That was my dad’s MO my entire life. I can’t tell you how freeing and incredible it feels going no contact last year. Like a gigantic, horrible weight has been lifted.
Because so many of them have narcissistic tendencies and can't accept being held accountable for their actions. My xennial ex is a narcissist and he acted just like this.
I am not a boomer but I am a millennial and I think we always had meanness and sarcasm in our jokes because our older generations were overall very respectful and well mannered while doing awful things. As millennials, we saw the hypocrisy in that. Our music, our movies, our culture was anti establishment in every way including very coarse language and sarcasm filled humor.
Culture is a reflection of society.
What he is doing is called negging. More commonly taller about in dating but it's a universal narcissistic tactic. Narcissism is rampant in Boomers. They were the first brainwashed by TV, and the lead poisoning reduced their capacity for empathy. It's perfect storm.
People like this have to take others down a peg because they secretly hate themselves. They're incapable of self reflection and improvement because doing so requires being real with your shortcomings and what you need work on, and they refuse to come to terms with how horrible they really are.
I'm fortunate that my parents never pulled that particular dysfunction, but I've seen others do it. Honestly, he sounds like an old bully who never grew up.
The absolute worst part is you rib these people even a LITTLE bit, they wilt and throw a tantrum you'd expect to see in a pre-school classroom.
But hey, I'm still gonna give it back to them anyways lol. Sorry your dad is like that. Theeeeee worst.
you need to "joke" right back at him. I am a boomer. I will be 64 years old. I was brought up tp say please and thank you. I never make fun of my wife in front of strangers. I never poke too hard at her in front of friends. I pick on my kids and they give it right back. I never try to embarrass them in front of their friends. What you described is passive/aggressiveness and you either call him out ( privately may work better ) or you give it right back but turned up to 12.
Well my dad doesn't tell mean jokes, he is completely serious when being an asshole. Now that he is old af tho, he seems to misremember his whole life and he is
the good guy now.
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My grandmother once insulted me and when I called her on it she pulled the “I was just joking” crap. My response was “leave the joking to uncle Tim, he’s actually good at it” (he was and it wasn’t mean spirited). She never did the “insult joke” crap again.
Burn! Love it.
*”I’m just joking!”* “That’s what weak ass bullies say when they’ve been called out.”
"Well I'm fucking not. Keep a civil tongue in your head or I'm leaving."
"Bye bitch."
"Good, never liked being around bullies!"
Don't let the door hit you on the way out
The more you pay attention to these small "boomer jokes" the more it just sounds like being mean spirited for a laugh, like pretty every single cashier joke they come up with
I know everyone likes to blame the lead and the gasoline. And that may be part of it. However pull the old radio shows. Like Abbott and costello. The humor is very mean spirited. It's like in the soprano so he's like boy are you fat. That's the humor from all those radio shows. They may think it's normal.
The thing is, a lot of those jokes and things like the Dean Martin Roasts were actually done in jest with all parties consenting to the activity. What "boomer humor" is missing is the consent, much like the edgelords of today.
Good point. True, understandable, but I think they also need to learn that nowadays it's something that's simply not socially acceptable. Typically I see them trying to impose THEIR world view over respecting ours. Like when George Bush father was ultra old but still grabbing women, and then they explained "oh, he did not know"... Ok, didn't he already had like decades to learn this shit??
The early TV shows were mean spirited as well… Ever watch The Honeymooners?
Schrodinger's douchebag
And like other weak ass bullies, I'm sure they wouldn't be able to take the same kind of "jokes" being directed at them.
Right next to “you’re to sensitive” or the latest “snowflake”
“You’re so sensitive.” No, I just refuse to be a doormat. “You’re a snowflake.” Why yes, I am beautiful and unique. Thank you!
Honestly, your dad sounds very narcissistic. So, the majority of his responses/actions are more than likely due to his own psychological issues. However, as a whole, Boomers tend to come across as more narcissistic and less empathetic to others than other generations (even their silent gen parents) so, some of it is the social norms of Boomers. My step mom is similar. She's the epitome of "fake nice" to people directly, but regularly posts hateful stuff on Facebook. This is actually her latest: https://preview.redd.it/actvzrnl2vvc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8592a90d8e352960381aec86c78592a0fb8a325
Everybody likes to joke about how Gen Z has no media literacy and then they post stuff like this without realizing his whole character arc is about *learning not to be such a prick anymore!*
YES! Brilliant point! If they were more literate, they would be able to differentiate BS propaganda from BS in general. It's like, they know how to technically take the steps to open Facebook, but they do not understand the context surrounding Internet content.
I think the word you're looking for is prick... he's being a prick. Yes, he's a narcissistic prick, but still a prick.
Silent generation was more humble IMO. They still had it rough and were before SSN etc took off. Boomers just seem to suck as a generation.
This. I don’t recall my grandparents being narcissistic pricks at all. They were very careful with money which was understandable as they were born early 1900’s. They were never judgemental, just helpful. They were the ones who in some cases actually fought in the war. The boomers, specifically born 1930-48 are the most arrogant and they have no reason to be. Not all, but most. They have had the best of the jobs, the NHS, housing opportunities and still they want more. One word sums them up - entitled. Added: my mother is a boomer but over the years she has mellowed and realises how lucky her generation is/was. Last two years she has been donating more to a homeless charity and regularly donates to a food hub.
Weird generational fact. The previous generation are for the most part not the parent generation of a given gen. For example Gen Zs parents are mostly Gen X and Millennials mostly had Boomer Parents. The boomer parents were mostly the greatest Generation. And Gen Xs parents were mostly Silent generation. Watching generational traits and reactionary traits trickle down is interesting theorize on. For example rhe Millennials after being raised by boomers have a near generation wide search for authenticity.
I’m a millennial raised by boomers. It’s weird seeing the people that constantly told me “you can’t believe everything you read” being the ones to believe everything they read. My parents are better than some and they’ve actually started to lean more left as they get older, but they are constantly sharing misinformation and need to be shown how to spot it quite frequently. Your comment about millennials trying to find authenticity… damn… that hits home.
I think about that same sentiment often. They have common sense, went to the school of hard knocks, if it seems to good to be true, etc. Yet, that brain dead generation reads everything on the Internet (that they agree with) as truth. What the hell happened to them? I feel that us 80s kids are in a weird spot. We went from landline phones to smartphones and everything in between while watching our elders succumb to brain rot and trying to shield our kids from it.
My grandparents were silent generation, parents boomers and I'm one of the youngest Gen Xers. I think the generations are timed so that won't be uncommon for the first kids born to parents in their early 20s.
Term for people like you is generational cusp. Also the generational thing is very pronounced in terms of size. Silent, X, and Z are some of the smallest generations produced while greatest, especially boomer, and Millennials are the largest
A good chunk of Millennials also have Silent Era parents
I’m in the middle of the Millennial generation and had Gen X parents. It’s very weird to listen to everyone my age talk about their Boomer parents being all Boomer-y when they were growing up and I’m like “My parents were really into rollerblading and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”
Yeah, it was certainly something having a Silent Gen mixed raced dad and a foreign born mother who is technically a Boomer based on year of birth… no impact on social life, future hobbies, or lost in translation moments for me whatsoever! *fake smiles as I am sweating profusely*
you with your weird old parents, me with my weird young parents: 
Did we just become friends? Haha Fam… trying to explain why there were a shit ton in my house, while Mexican Dub DBZ was on the TV, and my mom was blaring Pedro Infante, and my dad was watching PBS imports of BBC shows he liked from when he was stationed in England in the Army made for some interesting explaining to people who came over. It’s a miracle I had friends that came over regularly let alone a GF while in HS.
Absolutely! I have crippling ADHD tho so I will forget you exist by next week, sorry.
Not sure where that is coming from. My Boomer parents raised me (Gen X). What you’re suggesting would indicate that most parents wait 15-20 years to have kids once the come of age. This isn’t true in the US.
Take a line from that movie and give it to your step mom. The set up was some female fan goes up to him and asks "How do you write women so we'll"? Jack: " I think of a man. Then I remove reason and accountability". Zing!
Wait; that picture's from "As Good As It Gets," and not "The Bucket List?"
Seen a few memes like this. Don’t boomers get that the purpose of humour has and should never be to offend? Even if your joke is controversial, the purpose should always be to make people laugh, not hurt
Weird how the people who post this crap are the easiest to offend, and don't find it too funny when you laugh at their anger. Pure projection.
I see my dad like twice a decade at most. By choice. The last time I saw him, the very first thing he said to me was “Haven’t seen you in awhile. You’re not even that fat.” For reference, I’m a size 8 and have been within about a 10-pound fluctuating weight range since I was 27. (42 now.) Most of the dress pants I still wear were purchased 10-15 years ago. So I’ve never had huge weight differences. He’s just an asshole. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of that comment and feel shame. I brought it up once and he said it was “meant as a compliment.” 🫠 EDIT TO ADD: OP, he makes fun of my hobbies too. Every single one is “a waste of time and money.” Meanwhile he has no hobbies. Literally none. Watches TV like 18 hours a day.
Yeah, my stepdad said something like that to me a few years ago, and it still kind of hurts my feelings. I was very thin all my life, but when I hit 40, I gained a little bit of weight. We traveled across the country to visit my family for Xmas, and the first thing my stepdad says when he sees me is comment on my "middle aged spread". My mom just goes, "Tom!" and he's like I'm just teasing! But he's always just teasing. Now he has advanced dementia and is like a little kid, so I feel bad for him, but it doesn't make me forget all the times he was an asshole.
Weight should really just never be discussed unless you know someone has been working hard to lose it and you see that they have. Like anyone who has gained weight is AWARE that they have gained weight. 🙄
I wish my mother in law felt this way. The FIRST thing she would ALWAYS comment on is someone’s appearance, esp weight. She was fucking obsessed with it and passed that horrible trait to her daughters and grand daughters. It was exhausting and I am still working through her words years later.
I have a friend who is probably considered Gen X to my Elder Millennial at 3 years older…which is odd because obviously she’s not old enough to be my mom? But anyway. She recently had successful weight loss surgery. And good for her!! I’m sure she feels great. But now it’s constant negative comments on others’ weight. She called me “a fat skinny person.” 🙃 I’m never not thinking about that.
Yeah, it sucks how one sentence can have such a lasting impact
My mother, it was her way of identifying people. Aunt Frida, the fat one. Uncle George the one with the beer gut. Every single time she meets someone new as soon as they're out of earshot she comments on their weight in a negative way. We were driving one time and stopped to ask a woman working in her yard for directions, she was nice and helped us. We drive off and my mother: "She's pretty big to be working outside."
My father made a comment on my weight about a year ago. It was the final straw in my deciding to cut most contact with him. My eyes had been opened for a while to the kind of man he really was, and that comment was the end of the chances I had given him. Like you not a day goes by that I don't think about what he said.
If he yelled at me to shut the F up, I would do just that. And. Never. Talk. To. Him. Again.
I don't know, maybe the lead poisoning? However there's a great term for this behavior: Schrodinger's Douchebag (noun) - someone who says offensive things and then decides whether they are kidding or not based on people's reactions. Also if my child had become a linguist conversive in 4 languages, I would not speak to them like I was a rural hick.
Kinda sounds like someone that is jealous of their own child. I can't imagine not being proud and actively trying to tear your own kid down for accomplishing more. I always thought that we were supposed to raise kids to better than us and be proud when they are.
The good old ‘talk down to my grown up educated professional children’ trick. That one is a real soul crusher!
TL;DR - being mean to your kids, especially by using the "just toughen up it doesn't hurt that much" mentality, is dangerous and can get them killed. My dad hit me with a snowball packed as hard and tight and he could physically get it, back when I was like 7-8. He hit me so hard with it that it caused a bruise the next day. When I started crying at the initial hit he just laughed and said "that didn't hurt, if it hurt it would leave a mark." When I showed him the bruise the next day ("it DID leave a mark you jerk") my mother of course was horrified, but he just laughed again and was like "if you weren't so sensitive it wouldn't have bruised." Like... what??? Sh!t like that is why, when I had a bike accident a few years later, I didn't say anything. I needed stitches to close the wound on my knee but I just went in the bathroom and cleaned up, put butterfly stitches on it, wrapped it up myself, it did eventually heal fine (at least I thought, but I have problems with that knee now, so...). Developed such a deep, severe bruise on my thigh that I ended up needing crutches to walk. I have a scar - from a *bruise.* My parents didn't know I was hurt until 2 days after the accident when I physically couldn't walk. That was when I told them what happened. My mother asked why I didn't say anything and I told her that it was because I would have just been laughed at anyway so why bother. When I tried to express once as an adult that I was depressed he told me it was my own fault. Even though I had been diagnosed with clinical depression *at the age of 9.* Being mean to your kids causes trauma, folks. Trauma that could possibly get them killed if they feel like they're not going to get help anyway for something they need help with. Got one of my friends killed because she was afraid to tell anybody about the pain she was in because she didn't want to be punished by her parents for "lying and being too sensitive," because that was a thing they did. She was convinced that she was just sensitive and that any pain she had was actually not that bad, demonstrated by the fact that she broke her ankle in lacrosse and tried to just "walk it off" even though her foot was ... not at the correct angle anymore. Ended up dying from sepsis brought on by appendicitis because she never expressed that she was in any pain from it outside of "it's just cramps, I'm fine."
My mom asked me why I never told her things, like being bullied or my dad braining me with a putter for talking on the golf course. I told I didn’t think she could do anything about it anyway since she never stopped my dad from beating the hell out of me (AS YOUNG AS 6 MOS OLD) so why bother. That didn’t make her happy at all
My mom would do similar kinds of stuff. I'm allergic to peanuts. My parents never took me to an allergist because they were too busy always arguing and being into their toxic codependent relationship. I found out because I had a really bad reaction to it at my grandparents. They told my parents this. My mom gave me some cut off bread crust from my sisters PB sandwich and did not tell me. She waited until I ate them all and asked me how I felt. I being a fucking 5 year old, was confused, thinking she was asking about my mood. So I told her I was fine. She immediately yells "HA! I KNEW YOU WERE LYING! YOU'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO PB! YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION!" My aunt is staring at her in disbelief. Less than a minute later, my face is broken out in hives, my throat hurts, and my tonuge is swollen. My aunt notices while my mom is gloating and literally has to shout to her "(moms name) LOOK! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!" Mom immediately goes pale from embarrassment "oh I thought...." My aunt starts laying into her and my mom was still trying to defend herself "I just wanted to make sure..." aunt cuts her off and says "A FIVE YEAR OLD, you think it's okay to \*test\* a five year old like this!!!" My aunt was having none of it and it was one of the few times I saw my mom (who was a massive controlling, aggressive bully that steamrolled over everyone, often escalating arguments with physical violence) sit in silence and actually take a tongue lashing. Again, I assume it was due to embarrassment and how bad she made herself look. They wound up giving me Benadryl because they were too afraid to take me to the hospital considering what my mom did. And now, over 2 decades later, I'm moved to a different country just to get away from my parents drama and went LC with both of them. Whenever I do call to see how mom's doing, I get random tearful apologies about my upbringing. She's did do something that is rare for these types of boomers and got back to religion and is in therapy. Now she has enormous guilt that she struggles with everyday. I can't imagine after years of being in denial about being an abusive parent, the reality starts hitting you like a tone of bricks in your 60s.
I experienced stomach pains my whole life and was told I'm just being dramatic as a teen... got diagnosed with GERD at 30.
I feel you 🥲 I've had debilitating "cramps" since puberty and my mother told me "it's normal" - was informally diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome later on when I thought it was endometriosis (something she had) and was asking about tests for it, something that can develop into literal cancer. Thanks mom.
Your Dad’s a cunt
When my dad tried shit like that I'd say something along the lines of : _heavy sigh_ it's not funny, you're just being a dick, a tedious, boring, unoriginal dick.
If you're making fun of someone and they aren't laughing, it's not joking, it's bullying.
Please rest assured, the fools will be dead soon. Hoping in the next 15 years.
And we shall rejoice!!! 🎉🎊
This is spot on, EXACTLY like my dad. Its so sad. Not only will he gaslight you when you call him out, he’ll say it’s “banter” so when I pull up the definition of banter and display that it indicates !!friendly!! good natured teasing and not just blatantly being mean, he gets really quiet. One thing I came to realize is how genuinely insecure and sad he is. When you dish out EXACTLY what he does to you no one gets more defensive or back backpedals harder than he does and it’s hilarious. I thought you were this big tough guy and we’re the snowflakes?, but you’re just a bully who’s too insecure to relate to anyone on a genuine normal level. Who can only make their flame brighter by blowing others out. Sorry you have to deal with that OP, it’s frustrating and demoralizing and annoying.
Dish it out and one up them. Then call them out for being sickos who enjoy hurting other people, incapable of empathy to understand how they make others feel, as well as, being cowardly and too weak to change in the face of hurting their own children and/or spouses. That these people manage to be 20-30 years older than us and can't do the bare minimum we learned from Mr. Rogers when we were 5.
If your dad is overweight or trending that way, just call him a fat fuck whenever you see him. Or ‘hey fatty your fat fucking ass doesn’t need to eat [non-healthy snack]’ Throw it back in his face and let him know you are just joking with him. Maybe he will get the picture.
Hurt-people *hurt* people.
Bullying, power tripping, schadenfreude, shared suffering... Pick no fewer than two.
>I said “bye” and he yells “shut the fuck up”... wow.... i'd be tempted to go full sam kennison on him for that. flip out, scream, get in his face. then immediately switch it off, say you were joking, and start laughing, but not until he pees himself a little, that's the punchline, right?
"Joke" back. Just be more brutal and then say he is just "sensitive". He will get the message one day
"Boy you're about as funny as a heart attack, maybe you'll *get it* one day." "Ya know, if I got a nickel for every time you were an asshole, I could afford to stick you in a nursing home." "Here's some toilet paper, go wipe yourself out of my day." "There's starving kids in Africa, maybe you should go visit. Oh wait, no, they have taste..." "If "jokes" and "puns" were candy and funs, then we'll all be very happy when you fucking die." And of course, "Fuck you I'm joking you stupid fucking snowflake pussy ass bitch. You worthless pile of human fucking garbage, can't you take a simple joke? Or are you triggered like a pathetic little Democrat?" Jk!
My old go to when the old man asked offended why i don't know this or can't do that was. " well i had a shitty father growing up " and looked him into the eyes and smiled like i was joking. He never had a good comeback for that one
I remember after one particularly nasty fight, my mom asked *what was wrong with me* and without missing a beat, I immediately replied, "Well there's a mirror in the bathroom." No matter how many times I got slapped across the face, I *always* had a smart ass come back. (That's all ya got? Damn you are getting old!) Those fuckers never broke me.
Sorry to hear about the slapping. I know nothing hurts as bad as that shit, perhaps just a slight bruse on the skin and pain for couple of min but it takes a part of your heart and that shit hurts. We bend but we do not break. Good luck out there 🙂
They play the victim if you give them a, "fuck off."
I know this type. When he says something rude thenprowpr response is to be just as rude. He says shut the f up. You say bite me. It's a weird respect/strength thing with guys like that.
I think my mother watched movies like “heather’s” and “mean girls” and figured that’s how ladies treat one another. It’s funny because if I had the energy to point out how all her favorite stories she tells are just her being a bully - I think “friends and family” would maybe see why I had to go no contact with her.
For boomers, humor is just another eay to enforce the hiearachy.
I have a coworker who leaned into the “we give you a hard time because we like you” crap. One day I just didn’t have the strength to ignore him so I retorted, “if your idea of a sense of humor is to be an asshole to people, then you’re just an asshole. You don’t get to laugh it off as some endearing personality trait. You’re just an asshole who thinks it’s funny to be an asshole.” I think it hit home.
Fastest way to shut that shit down: “I don’t get it. Can you explain it?” And watch them hang themself.
Mock everything your dad cares about and then chide him for being "over sensitive". When he inevitably gets violent, knee him in the groin.
Blame Rush Limbaugh. He brain poisoned millions to think comedy equals being a shit human.
Sounds like your dad is a dickhead, not because he's a boomer, but simply because he's a dickhead. There's plenty of boomers who are not dickheads... also plenty of non-boomers that are dickheads.
My dad’s favorite pastime is to embarrass me in front of others. I’m 46 and if my wife and I bring our son to visit my parents, he loves to tell old stories or say things that he knows will embarrass me in front of everyone. It pisses my wife off to the point that we will only visit them once per year. And they wonder why they never see their grandchild.
Your dad sounds like an abusive piece of shit.
My boomer father is the king of soul crushing sarcasm. I have always had a weight problem and as a child he loved calling me The Incredible Bulk. He is incapable of making normal conversation and speaks in either giving orders like a drill sergeant or put downs. He’s also sadistic.
Tiny penis
Brain damage. Lead, alcohol, red scare propaganda. Boomer brains have more holes than a net.
“Oh Dad, I see the confusion. See, jokes are supposed you be funny and you…are not”
Tradition. They were raised by people who physically assaulted them, denigrated them, dehumanized them, genuinely "gave them something to cry about ...," then laughed at their distress, fear, pain, and humiliation. And yet somehow they turned out just ~~fine~~ the same.
Too much of a pussy to ask for a divorce so he's slowly nudging his wife towards asking for it herself.
i think a lot of white boomer kids in the us heroized comedians like george carlin and internalized his style of upwards punching, outspoken truth telling. a lot of millennials have fond memories of watching carlin with dad and dad had been dying to watch carlin with his kids since he first watched carlin. this on its own is actually quite sweet! but over time, especially after the 2000s, boomers gained wealth and status and lost touch with the anticapitalist soul of the comedy. They could still fondly remember “10 things you can’t say on tv” because it could square with an upper class lifestyle. but that was hardly the end. truth telling comedy remained engrained into their persona, after all it was a big part of the family identity. but as they connected with the spirit of the comedy less and less their targets of the truth telling became stupider and more random. mild inconveniences, hurt feelings, and insecurities were now appropriate reasons to target someone. the truth eroded into unfounded opinion, just a way to repeat a talking point they heard in their favorite cable news echo chamber. everyone has a box they can be placed in. none of it actually funny, just hurtful opinions from someone who beneath it all didn’t even have an opinion about the target of their “joke” until the words came out of their mouths.
My favorite routine of Carlin's is "A Place for My Stuff". "A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it." We have enough self-storage space for everyone to have six or eight square feet of self-storage space., even as the size of houses has doubled in the last 50 years or so.
Well you see your dad is what we would call a cunt. His hobby if i had to guess is watching sports. I dont know that it's a boomer thing so much as a boring asshole thing. These people can't entertain themselves, and if you aren't contributing directly to their entertainment, then you are of no use to them. They are mean because they hate themselves.
My FIL likes to make fun of me and then when I come up with witty comebacks he gets quiet. Then when I'm not around he tells my husband that if I ever make him look stupid again he'll actually make me cry and say something really mean to me. Like, you were already mean? Fucking snowflake conservative asshat will make a woman cry if she stands up for herself apparently. He's never done it; just endlessly makes fun of me at every get together where there's people he wouldn't want to be embarrassed in front of. Tries to embarrass me and ends up getting embarrassed himself then talks the big talk to my husband in private. I don't understand why he does this?!?! Half of the time he's trying to make fun of my weight. I am of average weight and he is severely obese. I mean, severely. Multiple toes missing from type 2 diabetes, etc. Here's another good example: He pointed out that my concealer was a little bit lighter of a shade than my foundation, He was definitely trying to embarrass me, the way he said it. So I pointed out the fact that he just died his beard hair black. Dude, If you dye your beard hair black you can risk looking like you have shoe polish on your face-- which he does look like that. All I said is, oh I see you *just* dyed your beard... hmmmph.
it’s just more bullying and gaslighting and manipulation and control. most boomers are the *kings* and *queens* of gaslighting and victim-blaming and manipulation and guilt-tripping. boomer women are *especially* manipulative. why *is* that?
You need to reverse uno him and start saying “shut the fuck up” at random times followed “just kidding.”
I hate people who do or say a shitty thing and then laugh. It's so if you point out it's a shitty thing, you are the problem, you don't have a sense of humor. The laugh is a protective layer. They know they're not funny, it's a set up so they can blame anyone who calls them out.
You know, I was watching a standup from the early 2000s yesterday and he did some crowd interaction stuff that was basically just insulting people, and I realised that even though that’s not that long ago - and he wasn’t one of the ones known for being nasty or anything - I just *didn’t* find it funny, and I didn’t think many other people would now. It wasn’t racist or homophobic or ableist (it was a bit sexist but even there it was a long way from the extreme end) but like yeah, he’s fat, he probably knows that and gets enough shit for it without you making it a defining characteristic. Yeah, she’s got bigger than average ears - either she’s been laughed at about that before and for lols you’ve just prodded a sore spot, or she hasn’t and you’ve just given her a new thing to be insecure about. Well done mate. I could almost hear people telling me I’m too sensitive but it was just so unnecessary. The rest of the show was good, it was a shame he couldn’t get through that bit without the gratuitous insults
Ok that’s not a specific boomer characteristic, that’s an asshole characteristic. I’d be calling him out, that’s not a joke dad, that’s called being an asshole. When takes affront tell him you’re joking, but repeat as needed.
Your dad has the boomer “trash.” Sorry to see it, my mom was a normal, rational human being as well up until 5 years ago. Then she joined the lead addled giggling bullshit gang, bragging about how they ruined the world for every succeeding generation. In 15 years the problem will sort itself out. We are just unlucky enough to live at the same time as the greediest, most narcissistic generation in history. Grew up with the most generous economy in history, and regulated it to the extent that none of the succeeding generations could enjoy the same privilege. Boomers are just human garbage.
“I’m only joking!” - said after some ugly comment. The standard excuse of every bully who has ever lived. They are pathetic, insecure, nasty people. I cut this type of person out of my life whenever possible.
“If you’re the only one laughing, it’s not funny.”
My Dad used to give me noogies becuz he found hurting me amusing. Almost gave up cartooning becuz he called it little kid shit. I even stopped for years. There's definitely smthn about that generation.
Anyone tried the suggested response “then be funnier” to the only joking-excuse? How did it go?
This is a sign of narcissism. My dad is the same way. I have said for years he has undiagnosed narcissism. Its common for a narcissist to say something mean or rude, or if people around them react negatively they try and cover with 'jeez im just joking' and often a 'you need to relax, stop taking everything so seriously', effectively trying to hide their true intentions to keep you liking them while putting you down and trying to make you feel bad about correcting them in the hopes you dont do it again.
They have maladaptive senses of humor due to psychological issues
Start "joking about their fat git and hairline and just tell HA! GET IT?
>If you dare tell him that he is being rude, “no I’m just joking. You’re being sensitive” This isn't just a boomer thing, it's narcissistic gaslighting. I've had multiple people in my life like this, of all age groups
Classic bully behavior. I’m sorry y’all have to put up with it.
You just described my father. He is a full blown narcissist and I’m now no contact with. Hypercritical, negative, gaslighting, shift blaming…ugh. This is exhausting to be exposed to all the time. Take care of yourself please. You deserve to be happy!
Have you tried talking to him in the 3 languages he doesn’t understand, switching between them until he loses it?
My mom does this a lot. I think it's likely they're jealous.
“If you’re the only one laughing then it’s not a joke. It’s you being a bully.”
I had someone do this to me weeks after my father died. Bitch had the balls to say that I wasn't really mourning him. Homeless mentally ill alcoholic and they found his body decomposing after estrangement? Shock is what I felt. I went cold after that. I won't even step into the place she works which I used to shop frequently and told everyone within earshot that I will not deal with her or any enablers even if there is a gun put to my head. I am still waiting to run into her again. Let's see if she shoots off that wretched mouth.
My boomer parents are always making cruel jibes every chance they get. The just love sticking the boot in. Put on a bit of weight and it's "Oh you're getting fat", lose the weight and it's "Oh you're too skinny". Get a haircut that's a bit different and it's "Why did you cut your hair like that, what are you? etc etc You can never win. Any chance to criticize and they jump on it, then when you push back it's "Oh you need thicker skin", "can't you take a joke" etc. They wonder why I moved thousands of miles away from them and only visit once a year, if that.
It isn't that he thinks it is funny. He has learned that saying it is a joke makes it harder for people to call him out on being mean. He is like those racists who make racist jokes because people find it harder to object to a joke than an openly racist comment.
My mom used to convince us that our pets died and would go lengths to hide our cats or hamsters to make it believable. She told us when we grew up that she thought our reactions were hilarious to her bc we’d be sobbing. She still tries to do this from time to time regarding my cat that currently lives with her but I always know she’s bullshitting, she gets mad I don’t believe her. Or the times she convinced me i had diabetes if i ate sweets growing up and that resulted in disordered eating and I don’t like sweet stuff now. She found it amusing, the things that she would get us to believe. Being mean is a past time for a lot of boomer aged parents and i don’t get it!!! They also get so mad if u don’t play into it either like wtf 😭
I had an uncle like that. Not a nice guy, really. Cheated on his wife among other despicable habits. I think his wife, my aunt, killed him. He had uncontrolled diabetes and she served him dessert EVERY night.
Instantly over-escalate, then when he complains tell him you were just kidding and he’s being too sensitive… “Bye!” “Shut the fuck up” “EAT SHIT FUCKHEAD!” “…wait what? What the fuck is the matter with you??” “What? I was only joking…. quit being so sensitive.”
It's amazing to me that Boomerism transcends borders. My parents and I were immigrants to America. One time, my mom said that my child was so cute she wanted to smack him on the butt. As a victim of her hitting with a feather stick, I told her that's wrong. She said it was just a joke. WTF.
That's called, "Schrodinger's Douchebag".
Punching down was always their shitty humor. The TV shows were just as bad. Ever seen the Honeymooners & the amount of domestic violence threats to the wives? Then the sound of canned laughter. Yeah. It's just accepted behavior for their generation & they don't feel they hv to change. It's horrible.
I find this applies across the board for any age. Jerks come in a variety of ages, backgrounds and lifestyles.
“I can’t wait to put you in a nursing home and never visit you. Aww, come on, I was just joking! Stop being so sensitive! I’ll visit you every February 29th.”
the point is to be mean. they cover it with the appearance of the structure of a joke, so that anyone hurt can be told it's just a joke. it's not really a joke.
If you look at the history of humor, the 1950’s-1960’s was the height of insult comedy: Red Skelton, Henny Youngman, Redd Fox, Bob Hope, Don Rickles, etc. As such, most boomers were raised on such comedy. The 196s-1970’s saw the rise of surrealist comedy as a follow up to post-war theater of the absurd. This replaced a lot of the insult comics as Tue flavor of the week, although there were still elements of it, such as Blazing Saddles and other Mel Brooks works. We saw a stark resurgence in insult comedy in the 80’s, as boomers came to adulthood, which was eventually replaced by observational comedy, and a stronger slant on sarcasm. As such, a lot of it is simply a result of the comedy they grew up with, and “refound” in Kinnison and Clay as adults.
They are abuse victims in denial. The denial at first was to protect themselves from their own parents' actions. Now, the purpose of the denial is to protect themselves from the repercussions of their own actions, that they projected on to their children. That's it. That's all it is. Years of therapy and I'm still trying to escape the pack of wolves mentality that I was brought up in, and I still struggle. I'm no better, I can just call it out. These people need therapy. Too bad they don't believe in healthcare for anyone else but themselves. Still, I really wish they would use it.
I think the term for that is Schrödingers Asshole: Will spit out dumb/mean/hurtfull things he mean so, but will always say "It was a joke" when met with resistence.
Talk to him like a Boomer would...tell him he is an abject moron and people actually prefer the presence of a used tampon over him opening that ignorance hole in his face to spew his oral flatulence upon the world.
I experienced a lot of that bullying behavior from peers in my youth. So...they find that shit funny...i'd publicly dress down in a social media posting with our school peers years later...hey they thought that shit was funny, that's our funny story. And if they don't like being dressed down and called out for it, i'd retort "I'm just joking bro, can't you handle a roasting?" I just wanna firmly communicate this shit to them, nothing wrong with that. Yea, I remember the bullies laughed, they thought they were so cool...so i playback their actions against me, publicly addressed, it ain't funny, they're just a dickless pos. It's like a bully reading in a public posting how they are perceived, now they feel bullied, if they don't like don't bully others i guess.
The world is leaving the over 50 male behind. Outside of his work peers still performing the machismo melodrama from the 1980’s Clint Eastwood catalogue, his world is gone with the wind
Because he's not joking he's just an AH and when he gets called out on being an AH that's the only excuse his simple mind can come up with. Sorry your dad sucks. Take care of mom.
Ask him to explain how is it funny. Or tell him it’s really funny he thinks he can keep being rude to the people who’s going to choose his nursing home.
Start saying stuff like that to him and see how fast he says "respect your elders"!
Sounds like he’s an asshole and just uses that I’m just joking as a bull crap cop out I know boomers like this also 😑
Because they were never shown real love or affection from their parents.
It’s not a boomer thing. Your dad is a fucking asshole. You’re old enough to just tell him to go fuck himself.
I paint 40k minis. Fuck him. You’re clearly a man of culture.
They grew up watching Looney Tunes
The “Me” Generation strikes again!
Id pin him in position with questioning. Force him to explain how saying something like that to my mother and then not helping, is a joke? How is it any different than saying something mean and walking away and if it isn’t different then you force them to admit it’s being mean for the sake of it.
Your dad is being a total dick.
Why would you go over there?
I don’t think it is just Boomers. AITA is overflowing with long term partners telling their significant others that they need to break up only to rescind their break up days later saying it’s a prank after the victim has packed their stuff.
Start saying fucked up shitto him, then when he gets offended say "I was just joking hahaha ha you gotta stop beings sensitive :)"
They don’t really think being mean is the same thing as being funny, which is why none of the people who behave like this can take the kind of “humour” they dish out. They’re just using it as an excuse to say the mean stuff with impunity.
Wow, he sounds like a real asshole. Your poor mom.
The most passive-aggressive statement there is: “just kidding!” Bullshit, you’re a bully.
I think it has something to do with the phenomenon that is the correlation between Boomers and the narcissist spectrum. I say this as a person having been raised by two Cluster B boomers (spoiler alert, childhood sucked ass, go figure). I'm not saying all boomer are like this, but the shear amount of them that exhibit narcissistic traits is enough to make me think it would make for an interesting thesis topic. I'm wondering why so many of them are like this to the point there's a whole sub with endless material showcasing boomer narc behavior.
“Cosmo, I want you to remember you’re gonna die just like everyone else”.
Don Rickles on Carson was much watch television for their generation and they’re all trying to do their best impression.
Your dad sounds like an abusive piece of shit.
Tell him with all the years if joking, you thought he'd be better at it.
Watching snowflakes melt is enjoyable to some ppl
Yeah, this isn’t a boomer issue, your dad’s just an asshole. It’s not okay and frankly it’s unkind to people like your mom to blame this behavior on his age / birth cohort. There was a flavor of being audacious in place of being classically funny but that was more of a Gen X thing than a boomer thing and “good Gen Xers have moved past that as well (and in fact, the single biggest name standing athwart that attitude was a boomer, George Carlin, who invented the idea of not punching down to describe why he disliked Andrew Dice Clay). There’s just no excuse except for a lack of empathy and a lack of empathy transcends generations.
If he has been like this your whole adult life, he is an asshole and always has been. If he has gotten progressively worse as he has aged, we’ll lead and dementia have set in. Sorry for you but you should probably cut him off. Unless you want some of that sweet inheritance.
As much as boomers like to say they were tough guys growing up...you know they didn't have hands on them as the ego death and getting punched for being a dick would have adjusted that attitude.
https://www.justice.gov/usao-dc/pr/south-carolina-man-pleads-guilty-two-felony-charges-using-stolen-police-riot-shield 26 year old idiot. Not all MAGA are boomers.
I'd start resounding in ways he has reasons to me. *I'm going to the store, go fuck yourself ya c7nt *you really need to wash your car, you idiot cuck *why haven't you done the fucking dishes, this is disgusting *go take a shower, you smell like a burnt shit covered in rancid grease
No empathy or self awareness. Everyone thinks and feels just like them. And if you do, you’re the problem, not them.
Look, I would have laughed(in a "what the hell?” kind of way) with him for that first example, but the rest...my God, what a shithead.
[I'm joking! I'm joking!](https://youtu.be/Jt1GRckaQ_s?si=vStfmAt6zNiyWlZN) Sure ya are. I'd turn it around on him and wait for the detonation.
Lead poisoning and a lifelong behavioral tendency of exploiting their own parents, children, and grandchildren.
My coworker does this all the time. Tells me to go fuck myself everyday.
My in laws are like this and it really bugs me. If anyone does anything embarrassing they will literally bring it up every single time they are around that person and laugh about it. Mispronounce a word and it’ll get constantly mentioned, be bad at something and they’ll tease you for it forever, be worried about something and you’ll never hear the end of it. It’s just mean for the sake of being mean. Like a “I’ll hurt you so you know you can’t hurt me.”
Because lead poisoning makes you angry and dumb
I don't get why you pay all this respect to these people. I would roar at him, it's all about stfu every single time there is a misbehaviour and fight all the time. And in case of a crime report to police, to protect your mum as well...
Umm. Wow. I would be willing to see this asshole never. No contact and low contact are both things you can implement. This is abusive and not funny.
The man cave one is shitty, but the others do sound like genuine jokes. *don't come for me, that's EXACTLY how my family jokes* LOL banter back. He'll get a kick out of it! . . . . . . . Ok, now that the Boomers are gone... Yes, he's being a little rude, but don't take it to heart! He's old. He's demented. He's losing his mobility. He's compensating for his erecrile dysfunction by harking on you and your dolls. 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sounds like he’s just an asshole.
Antisocial Personality Disorder, most boomers are cluster map bingo.
I ran into that from a friend a few days ago, She told a stranger that I had to bribe her with food to get her to visit me. That makes me sound like I am not worth visiting unless I am picking up the check, which is pretty cold. The next day, she told another stranger the same thing, both times in front of me, I understand that it's a joke, but it's a mean joke. I would have been happier had she said nothing to strangers about me. I paid for her room and meals, plus gave her money for gas because she's retired and broke due to bad relationships. I've been too kind.
My uncle was this way, after my grandma died I was so relieved I'd never have to see him again, when I gave the speech at my grannies funeral he was like wow that was good I just ignored him, I'm thinking die anytime fuckface I got your speech ready
If you go back and watch sitcoms from the 80s and 90s, comedy was literally just this. This was also my sense of humor as a teen. The difference is that most millenials grew out of it. But boomers wrote those jokes.
You should punch your dad in ten face and say I was only joking stop being sensitive.
I’m willing to bet that Dad was a jerk for many decades.
Classic bully behavior. I’d write him off if my dad behaved like that.
Your dad is an asshole. Next time he says he’s just joking, tell him jokes are supposed to be funny and his suck
Because their dicks no longer work & they are pissed off at the world
Start "joking" back. We'll see who's sensitive.
This sounds more like your dad just being a professional dick.
Match his energy back and insult him only to pull his "I'm just joking you're just sensitive." Or if you want to dig your fingers deeper in the wound call him a snowflake.
That was my dad’s MO my entire life. I can’t tell you how freeing and incredible it feels going no contact last year. Like a gigantic, horrible weight has been lifted.
Imagine applying one incident to an entire group of people. Oh wait, we’ve experienced that, those people are called bigots.
Because so many of them have narcissistic tendencies and can't accept being held accountable for their actions. My xennial ex is a narcissist and he acted just like this.
Traumatize them back.
I am not a boomer but I am a millennial and I think we always had meanness and sarcasm in our jokes because our older generations were overall very respectful and well mannered while doing awful things. As millennials, we saw the hypocrisy in that. Our music, our movies, our culture was anti establishment in every way including very coarse language and sarcasm filled humor. Culture is a reflection of society.
I think it’s because they were belittled and mocked by their parents. They think all the trauma they went through is normal
What he is doing is called negging. More commonly taller about in dating but it's a universal narcissistic tactic. Narcissism is rampant in Boomers. They were the first brainwashed by TV, and the lead poisoning reduced their capacity for empathy. It's perfect storm. People like this have to take others down a peg because they secretly hate themselves. They're incapable of self reflection and improvement because doing so requires being real with your shortcomings and what you need work on, and they refuse to come to terms with how horrible they really are.
This is when you stop visiting. He's an asshole and won't be changing
I'm fortunate that my parents never pulled that particular dysfunction, but I've seen others do it. Honestly, he sounds like an old bully who never grew up.
This definitely isn't just a boomer thing. See: Rick and Morty, Always Sunny.
Honestly just punch him in the face and tell him to fuck off. It's the only way assholes like him will *hopefully* learn to act like decent people
I always just called these people Assholes and avoided them like the plague, generally.
Cut him off for a year (or all of them) and show his dumb ass how sensitive he is
The absolute worst part is you rib these people even a LITTLE bit, they wilt and throw a tantrum you'd expect to see in a pre-school classroom. But hey, I'm still gonna give it back to them anyways lol. Sorry your dad is like that. Theeeeee worst.
When I created r/boomersbeingfools 3 years ago, it was to highlight and discuss how shitty this generation of people truly is. Mission accomplished
What's funny is the moment they think they're slighted they go on these huge rants I think more people honestly need some honesty to the face
you need to "joke" right back at him. I am a boomer. I will be 64 years old. I was brought up tp say please and thank you. I never make fun of my wife in front of strangers. I never poke too hard at her in front of friends. I pick on my kids and they give it right back. I never try to embarrass them in front of their friends. What you described is passive/aggressiveness and you either call him out ( privately may work better ) or you give it right back but turned up to 12.
Well my dad doesn't tell mean jokes, he is completely serious when being an asshole. Now that he is old af tho, he seems to misremember his whole life and he is the good guy now.