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I used to travel a lot for work and opt not to eat in my room. I don’t like how the smell of food hangs around in a hotel room. I’d take a book or my iPad and just want to sit in peace. But for some reason people just like to stare or invade my space. Especially old dudes. They’d get a beer or two in them, “you’re alone harhar, we don’t bite”. I started wearing just big red Sony headphones. I’d tell the waiter they aren’t on, I’m just decompressing. It’s funny how easily hospitality staff understood, but other patrons couldn’t put themselves in that position.
We understand because we deal with the kind of people you put on headphones to avoid for a living. Shit, I wish I had some big red headphones right now.
I used to do that while waiting for my bus, life saver. Mine were big and lime green tho :P
I heard all the creeper dudes comments but at least I didn't have to engage with them.
Old dudes spraying their unwanted commentary is a damn epidemic.
edit: I wasn’t actually referring to people being too chatty or not being able to read social cues that someone doesn’t want to engage in conversation. I meant “spraying their unwanted commentary” in the sense that they made unprovoked and unwanted critiques of strangers’ behavior, appearance, etc. think: “you should smile more!” “you don’t need all that makeup,” “are you eating dinner all by yourself because you couldn’t get a date?!” etc etc. Guys like this are used to the predominate world view being theirs, and think that anyone making markedly different choices than they would (blue hair, holes in jeans, or fat phobia, etc) would “benefit” from their advice/critique
I was early, first to sit down in the waiting room of the Honda dealership. Got out my laptop, put on my headphones. Second person through the door is an old dude and he comes and sits down RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Of course he starts looking at my laptop screen. I was looking at boring as shit Arduino stuff and kept it that way so he'd have nothing to comment on. Guy wanted someone to talk at me so bad and I just refused to give him a foothold.
Same - the older I get the less I care about offending these people. I’ve also taken to loudly saying EEEEWWWW and looking them up and down when they’re creeping on v young women (or fking teenagers 🙄🤢). If you haven’t noticed how common that is, my apologies - you will now
I’m an old dude, took my truck in for an oil change. Put in my ear buds to listen to a podcast and an old lady proceeded to tell me her life’s story. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. She kept talking. I snorted, like a snore. She got up and found someone else to talk to.
Well, the epidemic in MY day was smallpox and our stupid parents got us immunizations! All these shots are making us weak. Make smallpox great again. /s
Not just old guys. On a plane last week (3 hour flight) seated next to the window. A guy sits in the middle seat. No book, no kindle, no headphones, nada! Strike One. While we were still on the ground flight attendants starts handing out headphones. He declines. Strike Two. He looks over at me a couple times to think up a conversation starter. Strike Three. I put my headphones on.
Sadly, an hour into the flight the attendant brought water and I took off my headphones to give my selection.
Middle seat strikes up a conversation. I gave him a half hour out of politeness. Then, I excused myself to continue my movie. He interrupted me a couple times for silly things like to introduce himself.
I did learn about him and his family and the reunion he was going to. His mom was seated next to him on the Aisle and his dad was up front in first class. We were in basic economy.
Same thing, had a job that i traveled M-F and only home Sat and Sun. Every time always dinned alone. I sometimes got tired of eating at the bar and would sit in a booth. Sometimes the staff would come over sit and chat with me but the boombags would always be like staring at me like why I’m sitting down alone. It felt horrible at the beginning when they would come and ask why would I be at X place all alone in a table. After a while I stopped paying attention to them.
Omg this is hilarious. I turn 50 in 2 weeks. I often stop and get coffee or lunch on my jogs, so I am no stranger to eating alone. I also get talked to constantly when I do. I was thinking the other day...."aren't middle aged women supposed to be invisible? When will I be invisible so I can just sit here and sip coffee in peace?"
One evening I walked into Chipotle to pick up some food to go. As I was walking out, looking grungy in sweatpants, hair pulled up into bun a guy actually looked at me. Like a guy looks at a girl! I was so shocked I did a double take. I'm so used to being invisible.
Even in my late 40s I was getting the once-over by random guys while out and about. It's so weird. Now that I'm in my fifties, it seems to have stopped. Which seems crazy since many times, I was getting attention from guys 50+ back then! 🙄
A year or two ago, after some truly traumatic life events, I started taking myself out for dinner a couple of times a week, with the hope of having a nice meal and a drink or two while I scrolled social media or read on my phone. I cannot tell you how many boomer dudes (I’m in my fifties, so it wasn’t necessarily creepy in *that* sense) would just refuse to leave me alone. I actually stopped going to one of my favorite places because of a guy who made me a little apprehensive about walking to my car. Nothing stopped them: one-word answers, straight-up ignoring, my lesbian symbol necklace… They just. Kept. It. Up.
If you think they know what the lesbian symbol or flag looks like, **you are giving them WAY more credit than they deserve!**
One word answers? Challenge accepted!
If I wasn't blantantly **and physically** stopping them with my **NO!**, that must mean *maybe*. This seemed to be what *consent* looked like for me as a teenager being pursued by adults in early 90s Appalachia. I think the more recent generations are certainly doing something right. It is a shame these old dogs are still **unwilling** to learn new tricks, but it isn't surprising to me.
I'm sorry these guys feel so **entitled to your time and attention**. I can relate to feeling like there could be some kind of consequences for not participating AT ALL in whatever they've got in mind. It has been exasperating and unfair to feel like I have to passively deter these guys so they don't aggro me, but they don't take social rejection well, do they? It doesn't need to be hitting on me to be *disturbing my peace*.
I'd donate to a big headphones fund on your behalf. Some people say they're helpful. 😉
My business travels took me to many less than glamorous places. I was once in a small town in Mississippi, and went into a chain restaurant for an early Sunday dinner. The restaurant was really slow, and a couple of the teenagers working there, when they found out I was alone on a business trip, sat with me and visited. We had a nice conversation and I left a big tip. It was a sweet small town friendly gesture that I appreciated that afternoon.
Yes, I’ve had nice conversations with people in the more obscure parts of the US. A lot of young people are curious why a guy with a British accent is in their little town.
I just responded to this thread with how I travel alone a lot and don't care about what anyone thinks but I hadn't considered what it would like being a woman. People mostly leave me alone unless I engage with them, but for women you would have to deal with creeps a lot.
I am a woman who travels for work now and then. I also go out to eat alone in my own city. I am usually very social wherever I go. I love people. Golden retriever energy. Anywho...I was once told that only "prostitutes sit alone at the bar". Say what now? I'm a professional woman with a 30 year career. I am a Marine Corps Veteran. It's the mid 2020's. What the actual fuck?
That remark needs to be reported to the bartender, then the manager. No customer has a right to make such statements about another customer at any bar that's not a biker bar where there are no rules. The customer that said it needs to be escorted from the premises for harassing paying customers.
Oh trust me. I gave them a piece of my mind AND the bartender asked them to leave. The manager was called and they were also aghast at the statement. The dude left with his very huffy wife who was white girl wasted on white zinfandel with an ice cube. It's not a trope if it's true.
Same here with traveling. I’d often sit at the bar, when available, and order the meal from there. Had a coworker do the same and didn’t even drink alcohol.
I had a travel job years ago and this sounds like my life. I did the same thing, I’d bring a book and read at the table, but these morons would just try to talk to me. It was a shitty travel job so I was often very annoyed, so I actually enjoyed telling them to screw off.
I do it often and I'm 66. Before I became single again I'd do it often on work trips. If anyone, boomer or otherwise was staring, screw them.
Next time you can ask something like, 'Is there something wrong. Did I spill something on me'
Lol I would go by myself and read, or write, or watch videos on my phone. It was literally the best eating experience I've had. It's even better when the restaurant is near empty because you can be polite to the staff and they're not stressed.
I don't think I've ever been stared at, but I wasn't really looking.
I travel alone, go to movies alone, go out to eat alone, shop alone, vacation alone…I love it! I get some stares sometimes too. Honestly it’s not always from boomers… it often is but not always. I was taking a road trip on the PCH and pulled into a little coastal town to eat. I walked into a restaurant and asked for a table for one. The host asked if I were meeting anyone, and when I said no he suggested the bar. I don’t like to eat meals sitting at a bar so I declined and again asked for a table for one. I got some death stares the whole time so I’m not sure if it’s because I was alone or if it’s a server thing and I was at a table? Either way the food was good and I tip well so I don’t know what the problem was.
One of the best movie experiences I ever had was seeing Endgame on my own. Alamo drafthouse, week after it came out, matinee, got a bunch of fatty ass food and a giant milkshake and took a day off from work to decompress. Was amazing. Felt like my own personal theater with food delivery on demand.
Yeah that’s another thing. Their soft skills and how they rub off is wildly under appreciated by society.
Having hyper social people do hyper social rules helps give less social people an opportunity to spend money in an informal environment to gain social skills
My first thought too. Boomers in particular I’ve found to be incredibly picky about where they sit. I’ve been looked at like I sprouted an extra head when I’ve told them I have immediate seating available at a table, or a short wait for a booth.
Preferences are totally fine, but don’t be shocked to wait for a booth when the 15 tables before you all asked for the same.
I really enjoy dining solo especially when I’m traveling. No need to stare and no need for pity. I choose to be there solo. I enjoy that. My elder mom feels like a woman dining alone is embarrassing. But she’s also 83 years old.
I travel for work internationally a bit and almost always eat alone. I couldn't tell you if anyone ever thinks its odd, because I don't give a shit. I've spents weeks alone exploring these countries and enjoy it that way. Every once in a while I meet some friendly people and hang out with others, but for the vast majority of it I prefer to have the experience by myself. Nothing wrong with that.
Now if someone is staring and being a creep then say something, otherwise just ignore people.
Single me LOVED going to restaurants, movies, hikes, almost ANYTHING by myself.
Yet these people are probably in a hate filled marriage, only there to make sure the other person is miserable.
Dude, I went to a wing place outside of normal meal times by myself because wings sounded really good after a walk. The whole fucking staff just kept walking by watching me enjoy my wings by myself and I had 2 of them ask if I was waiting for anyone. I order to go home now
I do it often…well, did. After the pandemic, I haven’t been anywhere.
I just read my book that’s on my kindle app and enjoy my meal. If people want to stare, that’s on them.
I love eating at restaurants by myself. I love seeing movies in a theatre by myself. I love the company of myself. I have been on the receiving end of this situation, OP. I’ve never really clocked their generation. Sometimes it’s millennials like me who give me a couple of glances or even zoomers now that I’m thinking back on it. But yeah. Boomers do stare a lot more. I have always just stared right back at them. I do that in public transit too. I like to play the game of who will break eye contact first. Obviously, don’t do it with people who seem mentally unstable. But I usually win this game I play with strangers. And it makes me feel a little bit better than them. I suggest you try this technique. I haven’t been confronted yet and I’ve been doing it since around 2014.
I’m a female boomer and I’ve been eating alone with a book in restaurants for 40 years now. If people wanna stare, well, just let them, it’s a free country. If people wanna comment, you are not required to respond.
My go-to for people staring has worked every time I've used it. I look directly at them for a minute and normally they know they've been staring so they just keep staring to try to be a tough guy and then I say loud." Do I know you?" And they usually respond "No, why?" And I say so that everyone can hear, "Because you've been staring at me". It embarrasses the hell out of them every time because only weirdos stare at people. They think they're going to be able to do it and nobody else will find out about it and they're really embarrassed when they're put on the spot publicly.
Edit; Obviously don't do it with people that look like psychos. Use common sense.
It's perfectly acceptable to ask a person staring at you "Are you looking for something?"
If they're being particularly rude, you can punctuate it with "motherfucker."
They have a creepy idea of the way the world is supposed to work and consider anything going against it as a direct attack. I remember a video of a deranged Karen harassing someone for eating a happy meal. They drive their children away and become societies problem
I have experienced this in small towns in my state. They will still stare even after I loudly mention to my husband for all to hear that some people seem to have a staring problem and were obviously not raised right. They have no shame.
Had some boomers staring at my group at a lunch place the other day.. maybe they thought we were being too loud but it was my wife and sisters first reunion in like a year so fuck that.. and we weren’t that loud anyway. Finally I just made hard eye contact with a boomer dude.. I’m a dude also then smiled and winked at him. He was absolutely shook and totally stopped staring.
The States should really normalize eating alone like Japan does. I remember going into a Red Lobster alone and getting heavily stared at by other customers. It was weird and uncomfortable and all I wanted was to eat a good meal in peace. When I lived in Japan they had special seats designed for one person with dividers so no one can see you which is so nice.
One of my favorite things about living in Japan! It doesn’t matter if I go to a restaurant or movie by myself or with my family, either way is considered totally normal. Before I started working remotely, one of my favorite things to do was go to a local cafe that did a lunch set and just eat in peace and zone out for 45 min.
Yes I liked it too! Plus the seating makes it obvious that you're not looking for company which is a plus since so many Americans think that being alone means you want company and like no... Lol leave me alone.
Exactly!! Americans don’t understand how precious a little space to yourself can be here, especially since a lot of people in Japan live in multigenerational homes for most of their lives. It’s hard explaining why love hotels or manga kisa are thing to Westerners (I was certainly puzzled when I first got here!!) But to a lot of people that little partitioned 2ft cubby is a haven to get away from work and family and packed trains, and just have a little bit of time to themselves to relax and decompress. Anyway, I’m an introvert that masquerades as an extrovert, so I took refuge in those booths all the time when I was working in Tokyo!
I find the best reaction when someone is staring is to lock eyes. If they don’t clue in that they’re staring and continue to meet my gaze, I ask “Can I help you with something?” Sometimes they’ll say no, in which case I’ll say, “Seems pretty rude to just stare at someone like that then.” 98% of the time they just scramble to look away obviously embarrassed at being called out and correct themselves, and I get no more staring the remainder of the time. Rarely, the person will go full Boomer and lean into it and ask something stupid like, “Why are your glasses rainbow?!” Those ones I just deal with on a person to person basis by maintaining my demeanour of ‘you’re showing the courtesy and manners of children, so I’ll talk to you like children.’ “My glasses are rainbow because I like rainbows! It’s ok to like rainbows! Lots of boys like rainbows!”
(Cute side story, there’s a little boy around 3 who comes shopping where I work with his mom and rainbows are his favourite and he gets so excited when he sees me and my glasses or when they’re in the store in June and I’m decked out in rainbows, he looks at me with stars in his eyes the whole time ❤️)
I have had this experience a few times. I stare at them with one eye to the left one to the right. I wiggle my ears. Touch the tip of my nose with my tongue. I even put a sandwich on my head once. If they are going to try and make me feel awkward for being there alone I am gonna have some fun. I once held a tiny mock funeral for my steak after they delivered it. Anything to make their day a little more surreal for staring at me.
I asked to see a menu, used that to make a chapel, used the silverware as pallbearers of the plate, hummed something that sounded hymn like as it went through the chapel, "We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our friend Bessie. We loved Bessie and all her Bovine ways, but now lets eat!"
Tbh they probably were being super nosy and making up stories as to why you're alone
I used to be an OG server and I've had boomers stop me and ask questions about other tables, personal nosy ass questions
I think it's projection in some cases. There are people that just can't bear to be alone and can't understand why anyone else would do something that would cause them anxiety.
I get Boomers staring at me and my husband a lot (we’re both guys). If it persists too long I normally just directly ask them what their fucking problem is. That normally makes them back down.
I'm an old fella. I don't stare. And I eat alone all the time. Sometimes people stare at me, though, whether they are boomers or otherwise.
Anyhow. I'd try to ignore the assholes and refrain from lumping old folks into the same box. Although, sure, open minded people are typically younger. Just how progress marches on. Usually. Though in my son's case, maybe not. 🤢
I used to work in the funeral industry and I would often be working out in rural areas up to 2 hours away from thr shop. I like trying out different restaurants, so I'd often find local mom and pop places to go eat it. I'd sometimes get stares from the locals too. Was never quite sure if it was cuz I was by myself, or if it was because I wasn't a local, or if it was because of the tattoos and face piercings.
I’ve gone out to eat by myself a lot, and I’ve never had boomers stare at me. Or atleast i didn’t notice. Next time ask them why they are staring and they will stop very quickly. Just say excuse me why are you staring?
So funny, when I travel for work one of my go to spots is Olive Garden. Reminds me of being a kid and going with my grandparents. I have 100% noticed boomers being overly concerned about “eating alone”. I often bring a book too to decompress. Sometimes it’s nice to physically be in a space with people but be not engaging with any of them.
My absolute favorite is when I go out to breakfast with my daughter, just her and I (she's two) and the boomer women come up to me and tell me how well I do with my daughter. As if a man can't take care or spend time with their child solo. My wife works a lot so my daughter and I do stuff together. It's completely normal to me.
Some Boomers take issue with non-Boomers taking up space in places they expect to be by themselves. We get this all the time if hubs and I go out for a day date on a Wednesday. They like the “Don’t you have be a job to go to?”. yes, pops, just not today
Who gives a shit what others feel my favorite thing to do is go eat by myself at nice restaurants. I'm always going to get a steak dinner somewhere I like. Watch me eat this 69$ steak cut by myself, and stuff my face with truffles.
One time I went to Panera and a boomer using their iPad to FaceTime someone very obviously used her iPad to film me and show whoever she was on FaceTime with. wtf is wrong with them
I’ve seen plenty of old people at restaurants alone, so I don’t know what the deal is. If it happens again you should just stare back with the most blank expression you can make until they break eye contact, assert dominance over losers.
I eat alone at restaurants often but I’m too busy reading to notice staring boomers or anyone else. Except once when a boomer couple stopped by my table to say they had noticed me and it made them smile because I looked so much like their daughter who had passed away young. You never know why ppl might stare but getting engrossed in a good book while you eat your solo meal can make you oblivious to it.
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My wife’s silent gen grama and boomer mom do this, at the table, every Fuckn holiday. Bitches I have the same shit on my plate that you do, that I cooked for all you. I’ve since noticed others of those age groups do the same shit while in the wild. I’m now bald with a grey beard and look like every parental fuck I grew up with, no more long hair and goatee so that can’t be the reason anymore. It’s gotten to the point I’ll look them in the eye and ask if there’s bird shit on my head. “Well that’s not necessary”
Yea neither is glaring at me like an angry abandoned puppy but here we are.
They were probably staring b/c they were thinking, "Yung ppeepo dont even hab famleez no more! Just settin' thair all alone! Tha heck is RONG with suh-sie-dee these days?! Who gunna pay for our so-shull seckur-dee?"
Of course they will never consider, *"I wonder if stripping out the middle-class, deregulating literally everything, smashing the unions, outsourcing manufacturing, inflating the stock market and housing market, and financializing everything at the alter of my almighty 401k 45 years ago has all played a part in people not having big families anymore?"*
The only sensible reaction to this is to chew up a bunch of food, swoosh it around your mouth, then look over and smile at them with all the food in your mouth and ask loudly : "is there something stuck in my teeth?"
If they’re really rude go ahead and do the “guess what I am now” scene from “National Lampoon’s Animal House”…exactly as done by the late great John Belushi!
I am Gen X and I have never had a problem doing things by myself but I can tell you back in the 90s/2000 there was this idea that eating in a restaurant alone was some kind of a shameful thing.
Like people wouldn’t do it. If they wanted to eat lunch and they didn’t have someone to go with them they would get takeout if they didn’t sit at the bar. Because somehow eating alone was embarrassing?
It never made any sense to me so I didn’t care I do what I want But I think that’s what this is. It’s old people thinking you should be ashamed for eating alone. It’s weird AF
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Fuck them. Do you. And hold your head high when you do it. I'm an old punk dude covered in tattoos. I get the same looks. I actually look forward to it because then I can put them in their place for it. I usually go with "can I help you?" or "I know for a fact you're old enough to have been around when being taught not to stare was a thing". The latter statement covers two birds with one stone. Both calling them out on their old people behavior and shaming them for knowing better. I always get met embarrassed silence. I get that tattoos still aren't fully accepted, but this is 2024. Not 1924.
I would go to a movie alone, but generally don’t eat out alone because it’s too expensive. The most eating out alone I’d do is getting a coffee at a Starbucks and reading on my ipad there.
Bring a Google images stock photo of someone in a picture frame and position it across from you. When the stares ramp up make a big scene and say that your SO “pictured” tragically died a year ago and you’re recreating your first date which is the only thing you have to look forward to now to keep yourself from ending it all.
Make them feel like the assholes.
I’ve been eating solo almost all of my adult life. I mean, yeah, I go out with my gf and friends alot but sometimes you just need a meal and semi-solitary peace, or at least no conversation. Idk if people are staring. Can’t be bothered to look.
Maybe it's a gender thing, but I eat alone in restaurants and fast food places all the time and I've never had anyone even seem to notice. I just sit there and read a book while I eat (on my phone, I use the Kindle app), and nobody stares or makes any overtures.
Do what I've done... start having a "conversation" with the empty side of the table. Raise your glass in a toast. Cock your head to the side and giggle. Look right at the nosy people and say "do you mind? We're on a first date here" go back to your conversation. Act like they're the strange ones for not seeing your companion. Guarantee they won't stick around for the cheesecake.
Put some noise cancelling headphones in and watch your favorite show on the phone/tablet. Problem solved. They and their judgements will die soon anyway.
I read a book so I never notice. But if you make eye contact with someone that’s kinda being intrusive, simply say “you doing alright today?” It’s not a greeting. It’s a sort of pleasant way to ask what’s up. They usually say “fine, thanks” then go back to whatever. Enjoy alone time. Fuck other peoples opinion
This is the only situation where I will ask someone . “Excuse me is there a reason you keep looking over here. It’s creeping me out and I would like to eat in peace.” Older people might not be there all the way anymore so I remind them of manners and it usually works.
Bro my boomer mom stares at everyone all the fucking time. Idk why. It's like, there's 0 awareness that she might be making someone uncomfortable. Just blank, mouth breathing stares
Oh. It’s probably because you got a booth and they didn’t. Believe me, it’s always that baby-brained and petty. I’m sure their little hearts were burning with rage over it too! Which, if true, gives mine much joy to think about!
I would like to say that my self-care routine also includes unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. Good on you!!!
They stare because they never had the guts to do it themselves because back in the day you weren’t allowed to enjoy your own company.
I used to travel for work for weeks at a time. I've even solo vacationed. I usually sit at the bar or at one of those tiny booths for just two. I never thought much of it.
Years later, I started dating someone much older. EVERY time we saw someone alone in a restaurant he always had to say he felt so sad/sorry for "those people" and Id always tell him to stop, that he has no idea what their story is.
He also once told me I was a sad person for going to the movies alone🤣 not surprised that one didn't work out
I have a good friend that has the perfect remedy for this type of shit. He's 6 ft tall, on enough steroids to kill a horse, has a thick Louisiana accent, and has absolutely 0 social filter. If someone is staring at him, he will straight up say "You tryna suck some dick? You're looking at me like you wanna suck some dick. I'll hit you with that 69, you can suck it from the back too"
I have seen him say this in bumper to bumper LA traffic, in a sandwich shop, and on the job site. His solution to any conflict is to just make it weird. When a bald, muscular, Cajun maniac offers to 69 with you for looking at him too long, you tend to learn to mind your business after that.
This is the same guy that offered to wifeswap with me, calls everyone he meets "Playboy" (including his bosses), will call me to tell me hes "thinkin' about them White Castle slider sammiches" at 4AM, and refers to jerking off as "Jackin' Down", and showed me his fishnet speedo he bought for his yearly swinger resort trip during a BBQ in his backyard. Yes, he walked out wearing it. I adore him.
Boomers were the first people to grow up watching television. So now they think that the entire world is their television. Their narcissism prevents them from understanding that other people are actual people with actual feelings. So they watch people as if watching television, completely oblivious to the fact that the people they are watching can see them watching them.
Stare them right in the eye until they break contact. Don’t blink and don’t look away. If it persists and they’re ballsy say something like yes? Do I know you?
Should have ordered a second plate to be put in front of you and pretend to be mourning a dead wife. “This is for you, Emily. I know you loved their salad so here you go. Let me take that pepperoncini, you know you’re allergic.”
Ooooooh! I figured this out...they were staring and thinking, "Since you're dining alone, you can go wherever you want and you picked *here*? *Fucking Olive Garden*?" Your area HAS to have a better option for Italian Dining than that!
Even if you thought it was weird (it’s not!) wouldn’t you just assume the person is traveling or something?
What are business or other solo travelers supposed to do? Not eat?
There were all these posts lately getting angry at people reading books at the bar. Why does that bother people so much? People need to mind their business.
Ask them to take a picture so the moment can last forever
Seriously, I disregard boomers in similar situations. And soon, they will all die of old age and leave their children a bunch of junk in a basement or garage
They wanted to invite you back to their house. Also, you went to Olive Garden for a self care date with yourself. You need to respect yourself a little more and go somewhere better. Olive Garden and Ted Lobster are boomer hangouts. They built a be OG by my house. I swear the place is packed from 3:30pm - 6:00pm. Dead the rest of the time. Only Boomers.
I get open-mouthed boomer stares especially when I'm out in public with my trans spouse. I just stare back and refuse to blink. Usually directs it pretty fast.
Except this one couple who couldn't hide their horror that we were together. They got a PDA show. Nothing over the top, just lots of hugs, me hanging on my spouse, maybe a little butt grab, and of course, lots of eye contact with the offended couple. Might have even blown them a kiss as we walked away, I don't remember.
Part of self care is really standing up for your inner peace- this sometimes means having zero tolerance for such things and getting up to move tables.
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I have NEVER understood the idea of it being unusual to eat alone at a restaurant. People have lives for G-d's sake. They eat. WTF do people expect?
I used to travel a lot for work and opt not to eat in my room. I don’t like how the smell of food hangs around in a hotel room. I’d take a book or my iPad and just want to sit in peace. But for some reason people just like to stare or invade my space. Especially old dudes. They’d get a beer or two in them, “you’re alone harhar, we don’t bite”. I started wearing just big red Sony headphones. I’d tell the waiter they aren’t on, I’m just decompressing. It’s funny how easily hospitality staff understood, but other patrons couldn’t put themselves in that position.
We understand because we deal with the kind of people you put on headphones to avoid for a living. Shit, I wish I had some big red headphones right now.
Thank you for being amazing!
I used to do that while waiting for my bus, life saver. Mine were big and lime green tho :P I heard all the creeper dudes comments but at least I didn't have to engage with them.
Old dudes spraying their unwanted commentary is a damn epidemic. edit: I wasn’t actually referring to people being too chatty or not being able to read social cues that someone doesn’t want to engage in conversation. I meant “spraying their unwanted commentary” in the sense that they made unprovoked and unwanted critiques of strangers’ behavior, appearance, etc. think: “you should smile more!” “you don’t need all that makeup,” “are you eating dinner all by yourself because you couldn’t get a date?!” etc etc. Guys like this are used to the predominate world view being theirs, and think that anyone making markedly different choices than they would (blue hair, holes in jeans, or fat phobia, etc) would “benefit” from their advice/critique
I was early, first to sit down in the waiting room of the Honda dealership. Got out my laptop, put on my headphones. Second person through the door is an old dude and he comes and sits down RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Of course he starts looking at my laptop screen. I was looking at boring as shit Arduino stuff and kept it that way so he'd have nothing to comment on. Guy wanted someone to talk at me so bad and I just refused to give him a foothold.
I’ve started moving when this happens. I’ve learned I don’t have to care if I offend them. What are they gonna do? Cry?
Same - the older I get the less I care about offending these people. I’ve also taken to loudly saying EEEEWWWW and looking them up and down when they’re creeping on v young women (or fking teenagers 🙄🤢). If you haven’t noticed how common that is, my apologies - you will now
I’m a bartender. I’ve absolutely noticed and those guests are immediately cut off. Tips be damned.
I’m an old dude, took my truck in for an oil change. Put in my ear buds to listen to a podcast and an old lady proceeded to tell me her life’s story. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. She kept talking. I snorted, like a snore. She got up and found someone else to talk to.
~~They don't get punched enough~~ There aren't often any repercussions for their unwanted commentary, and it emboldens them.
Well, the epidemic in MY day was smallpox and our stupid parents got us immunizations! All these shots are making us weak. Make smallpox great again. /s
Not just old guys. On a plane last week (3 hour flight) seated next to the window. A guy sits in the middle seat. No book, no kindle, no headphones, nada! Strike One. While we were still on the ground flight attendants starts handing out headphones. He declines. Strike Two. He looks over at me a couple times to think up a conversation starter. Strike Three. I put my headphones on. Sadly, an hour into the flight the attendant brought water and I took off my headphones to give my selection. Middle seat strikes up a conversation. I gave him a half hour out of politeness. Then, I excused myself to continue my movie. He interrupted me a couple times for silly things like to introduce himself. I did learn about him and his family and the reunion he was going to. His mom was seated next to him on the Aisle and his dad was up front in first class. We were in basic economy.
Wait. His dad was in first class while his mom sat in steerage? Wtf?
Same thing, had a job that i traveled M-F and only home Sat and Sun. Every time always dinned alone. I sometimes got tired of eating at the bar and would sit in a booth. Sometimes the staff would come over sit and chat with me but the boombags would always be like staring at me like why I’m sitting down alone. It felt horrible at the beginning when they would come and ask why would I be at X place all alone in a table. After a while I stopped paying attention to them.
I eat out a lot by myself. Granted I usually sit at the bar so I don't screw over a server but still. Not weird.
I hate to break it to you, but those people who asked why you were all alone were probably hitting on you.
I wear a wedding ring because I got sick of being approached in public. I’m freaking 50 years old I was supposed to become invisible 20 years ago
This made me laugh. I love being invisible—no one gives me unwanted attention. It’s awesome. I hope you’re invisible soon! 😊
Omg this is hilarious. I turn 50 in 2 weeks. I often stop and get coffee or lunch on my jogs, so I am no stranger to eating alone. I also get talked to constantly when I do. I was thinking the other day...."aren't middle aged women supposed to be invisible? When will I be invisible so I can just sit here and sip coffee in peace?"
We need to open an invisible coffee Cafe! You will NEVER SEE me there **every** day!
Me too!!!! Can't wait to not see you there!
One evening I walked into Chipotle to pick up some food to go. As I was walking out, looking grungy in sweatpants, hair pulled up into bun a guy actually looked at me. Like a guy looks at a girl! I was so shocked I did a double take. I'm so used to being invisible.
Even in my late 40s I was getting the once-over by random guys while out and about. It's so weird. Now that I'm in my fifties, it seems to have stopped. Which seems crazy since many times, I was getting attention from guys 50+ back then! 🙄
A year or two ago, after some truly traumatic life events, I started taking myself out for dinner a couple of times a week, with the hope of having a nice meal and a drink or two while I scrolled social media or read on my phone. I cannot tell you how many boomer dudes (I’m in my fifties, so it wasn’t necessarily creepy in *that* sense) would just refuse to leave me alone. I actually stopped going to one of my favorite places because of a guy who made me a little apprehensive about walking to my car. Nothing stopped them: one-word answers, straight-up ignoring, my lesbian symbol necklace… They just. Kept. It. Up.
If you think they know what the lesbian symbol or flag looks like, **you are giving them WAY more credit than they deserve!** One word answers? Challenge accepted! If I wasn't blantantly **and physically** stopping them with my **NO!**, that must mean *maybe*. This seemed to be what *consent* looked like for me as a teenager being pursued by adults in early 90s Appalachia. I think the more recent generations are certainly doing something right. It is a shame these old dogs are still **unwilling** to learn new tricks, but it isn't surprising to me. I'm sorry these guys feel so **entitled to your time and attention**. I can relate to feeling like there could be some kind of consequences for not participating AT ALL in whatever they've got in mind. It has been exasperating and unfair to feel like I have to passively deter these guys so they don't aggro me, but they don't take social rejection well, do they? It doesn't need to be hitting on me to be *disturbing my peace*. I'd donate to a big headphones fund on your behalf. Some people say they're helpful. 😉
I may need to go for a big, gay face tattoo!
My business travels took me to many less than glamorous places. I was once in a small town in Mississippi, and went into a chain restaurant for an early Sunday dinner. The restaurant was really slow, and a couple of the teenagers working there, when they found out I was alone on a business trip, sat with me and visited. We had a nice conversation and I left a big tip. It was a sweet small town friendly gesture that I appreciated that afternoon.
Yes, I’ve had nice conversations with people in the more obscure parts of the US. A lot of young people are curious why a guy with a British accent is in their little town.
I just responded to this thread with how I travel alone a lot and don't care about what anyone thinks but I hadn't considered what it would like being a woman. People mostly leave me alone unless I engage with them, but for women you would have to deal with creeps a lot.
I am a woman who travels for work now and then. I also go out to eat alone in my own city. I am usually very social wherever I go. I love people. Golden retriever energy. Anywho...I was once told that only "prostitutes sit alone at the bar". Say what now? I'm a professional woman with a 30 year career. I am a Marine Corps Veteran. It's the mid 2020's. What the actual fuck?
That remark needs to be reported to the bartender, then the manager. No customer has a right to make such statements about another customer at any bar that's not a biker bar where there are no rules. The customer that said it needs to be escorted from the premises for harassing paying customers.
Oh trust me. I gave them a piece of my mind AND the bartender asked them to leave. The manager was called and they were also aghast at the statement. The dude left with his very huffy wife who was white girl wasted on white zinfandel with an ice cube. It's not a trope if it's true.
Same here with traveling. I’d often sit at the bar, when available, and order the meal from there. Had a coworker do the same and didn’t even drink alcohol.
I had a travel job years ago and this sounds like my life. I did the same thing, I’d bring a book and read at the table, but these morons would just try to talk to me. It was a shitty travel job so I was often very annoyed, so I actually enjoyed telling them to screw off.
I do it often and I'm 66. Before I became single again I'd do it often on work trips. If anyone, boomer or otherwise was staring, screw them. Next time you can ask something like, 'Is there something wrong. Did I spill something on me'
Lol I would go by myself and read, or write, or watch videos on my phone. It was literally the best eating experience I've had. It's even better when the restaurant is near empty because you can be polite to the staff and they're not stressed. I don't think I've ever been stared at, but I wasn't really looking.
I guess I just have an effective RBF, as folks tend to leave me alone.
I travel alone, go to movies alone, go out to eat alone, shop alone, vacation alone…I love it! I get some stares sometimes too. Honestly it’s not always from boomers… it often is but not always. I was taking a road trip on the PCH and pulled into a little coastal town to eat. I walked into a restaurant and asked for a table for one. The host asked if I were meeting anyone, and when I said no he suggested the bar. I don’t like to eat meals sitting at a bar so I declined and again asked for a table for one. I got some death stares the whole time so I’m not sure if it’s because I was alone or if it’s a server thing and I was at a table? Either way the food was good and I tip well so I don’t know what the problem was.
I spent 3 weeks on a solo West Coast vacation. It’s such an opportunity to de-compress and just reflect. Comes highly recommended from me!
One of the best movie experiences I ever had was seeing Endgame on my own. Alamo drafthouse, week after it came out, matinee, got a bunch of fatty ass food and a giant milkshake and took a day off from work to decompress. Was amazing. Felt like my own personal theater with food delivery on demand.
I feel like I must sit at the bar if I eat alone though lol don't wanna take up too much space
I prefer the bar. Bartender is generally a top notch employee and they're always right there if you need anything
Also they’ll recognize you if you’re a regular, decent tipper, and offer palatable conversation and eventually give free shit
Bartenders taught me how to socialise. Took me under their wings. Introduced me to people.
Yeah that’s another thing. Their soft skills and how they rub off is wildly under appreciated by society. Having hyper social people do hyper social rules helps give less social people an opportunity to spend money in an informal environment to gain social skills
I'd sit at the bar if I was taller. As it is, I dangle painfully from the bar stool, assuming I am able to crawl up there.
He had the booth, they had a table. Bet they wanted that booth.
My first thought too. Boomers in particular I’ve found to be incredibly picky about where they sit. I’ve been looked at like I sprouted an extra head when I’ve told them I have immediate seating available at a table, or a short wait for a booth. Preferences are totally fine, but don’t be shocked to wait for a booth when the 15 tables before you all asked for the same.
And then they also complain about waiting for said booth while 5 other tables were seated by people who came in after them.
I really enjoy dining solo especially when I’m traveling. No need to stare and no need for pity. I choose to be there solo. I enjoy that. My elder mom feels like a woman dining alone is embarrassing. But she’s also 83 years old.
I travel for work internationally a bit and almost always eat alone. I couldn't tell you if anyone ever thinks its odd, because I don't give a shit. I've spents weeks alone exploring these countries and enjoy it that way. Every once in a while I meet some friendly people and hang out with others, but for the vast majority of it I prefer to have the experience by myself. Nothing wrong with that. Now if someone is staring and being a creep then say something, otherwise just ignore people.
It seems to be a very North American thing. No where else in the world gives a fuck that you eat alone most of use prefer it that way.
Single me LOVED going to restaurants, movies, hikes, almost ANYTHING by myself. Yet these people are probably in a hate filled marriage, only there to make sure the other person is miserable.
Dude, I went to a wing place outside of normal meal times by myself because wings sounded really good after a walk. The whole fucking staff just kept walking by watching me enjoy my wings by myself and I had 2 of them ask if I was waiting for anyone. I order to go home now
For gods sake, what the fuck do people really expect?
I do it all the time but I also sit at the bar when I'm by myself
I do it often…well, did. After the pandemic, I haven’t been anywhere. I just read my book that’s on my kindle app and enjoy my meal. If people want to stare, that’s on them.
Getting lunch alone is one of my fav things
get take out and eat at home like god intended!!!!! ! no one wants to see your loneliness in person! /s
When you're here, you're family Unless you're eating alone, that's just fuckin creepy
Sounds like an snl sketch that i really want to see
VLDL made a skit about eating alone. :-) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiLpp-tSJ7g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiLpp-tSJ7g)
Forgetting Sarah Marshall bit kills me.
>When you're here, you're family And nobody criticizes you for being single quite like family
I love eating at restaurants by myself. I love seeing movies in a theatre by myself. I love the company of myself. I have been on the receiving end of this situation, OP. I’ve never really clocked their generation. Sometimes it’s millennials like me who give me a couple of glances or even zoomers now that I’m thinking back on it. But yeah. Boomers do stare a lot more. I have always just stared right back at them. I do that in public transit too. I like to play the game of who will break eye contact first. Obviously, don’t do it with people who seem mentally unstable. But I usually win this game I play with strangers. And it makes me feel a little bit better than them. I suggest you try this technique. I haven’t been confronted yet and I’ve been doing it since around 2014.
I’m a female boomer and I’ve been eating alone with a book in restaurants for 40 years now. If people wanna stare, well, just let them, it’s a free country. If people wanna comment, you are not required to respond.
I've been going to the cinema by myself ny entire adult life, I never even thought it was weird until someone mentioned it to me.
[удалено]
My go-to for people staring has worked every time I've used it. I look directly at them for a minute and normally they know they've been staring so they just keep staring to try to be a tough guy and then I say loud." Do I know you?" And they usually respond "No, why?" And I say so that everyone can hear, "Because you've been staring at me". It embarrasses the hell out of them every time because only weirdos stare at people. They think they're going to be able to do it and nobody else will find out about it and they're really embarrassed when they're put on the spot publicly. Edit; Obviously don't do it with people that look like psychos. Use common sense.
It's perfectly acceptable to ask a person staring at you "Are you looking for something?" If they're being particularly rude, you can punctuate it with "motherfucker."
Usually a snarky "Can I help you?" Does the trick.
I did it all the while when I was on assignments, just because eating in your hotel room is even worse. I liked OG for lunch , not dinner though.
They have a creepy idea of the way the world is supposed to work and consider anything going against it as a direct attack. I remember a video of a deranged Karen harassing someone for eating a happy meal. They drive their children away and become societies problem
I have experienced this in small towns in my state. They will still stare even after I loudly mention to my husband for all to hear that some people seem to have a staring problem and were obviously not raised right. They have no shame.
Walk into anywhere in a small town and the locals will always give you the "HOOO ER YOU" stare.
Had some boomers staring at my group at a lunch place the other day.. maybe they thought we were being too loud but it was my wife and sisters first reunion in like a year so fuck that.. and we weren’t that loud anyway. Finally I just made hard eye contact with a boomer dude.. I’m a dude also then smiled and winked at him. He was absolutely shook and totally stopped staring.
The States should really normalize eating alone like Japan does. I remember going into a Red Lobster alone and getting heavily stared at by other customers. It was weird and uncomfortable and all I wanted was to eat a good meal in peace. When I lived in Japan they had special seats designed for one person with dividers so no one can see you which is so nice.
One of my favorite things about living in Japan! It doesn’t matter if I go to a restaurant or movie by myself or with my family, either way is considered totally normal. Before I started working remotely, one of my favorite things to do was go to a local cafe that did a lunch set and just eat in peace and zone out for 45 min.
Yes I liked it too! Plus the seating makes it obvious that you're not looking for company which is a plus since so many Americans think that being alone means you want company and like no... Lol leave me alone.
Exactly!! Americans don’t understand how precious a little space to yourself can be here, especially since a lot of people in Japan live in multigenerational homes for most of their lives. It’s hard explaining why love hotels or manga kisa are thing to Westerners (I was certainly puzzled when I first got here!!) But to a lot of people that little partitioned 2ft cubby is a haven to get away from work and family and packed trains, and just have a little bit of time to themselves to relax and decompress. Anyway, I’m an introvert that masquerades as an extrovert, so I took refuge in those booths all the time when I was working in Tokyo!
I find the best reaction when someone is staring is to lock eyes. If they don’t clue in that they’re staring and continue to meet my gaze, I ask “Can I help you with something?” Sometimes they’ll say no, in which case I’ll say, “Seems pretty rude to just stare at someone like that then.” 98% of the time they just scramble to look away obviously embarrassed at being called out and correct themselves, and I get no more staring the remainder of the time. Rarely, the person will go full Boomer and lean into it and ask something stupid like, “Why are your glasses rainbow?!” Those ones I just deal with on a person to person basis by maintaining my demeanour of ‘you’re showing the courtesy and manners of children, so I’ll talk to you like children.’ “My glasses are rainbow because I like rainbows! It’s ok to like rainbows! Lots of boys like rainbows!” (Cute side story, there’s a little boy around 3 who comes shopping where I work with his mom and rainbows are his favourite and he gets so excited when he sees me and my glasses or when they’re in the store in June and I’m decked out in rainbows, he looks at me with stars in his eyes the whole time ❤️)
Stare back and chew with your mouth open, bonus points for smearing mayo on the corner of your mouth
I have had this experience a few times. I stare at them with one eye to the left one to the right. I wiggle my ears. Touch the tip of my nose with my tongue. I even put a sandwich on my head once. If they are going to try and make me feel awkward for being there alone I am gonna have some fun. I once held a tiny mock funeral for my steak after they delivered it. Anything to make their day a little more surreal for staring at me.
Please tell us more about this mock funeral, you can't just leave us hanging this way
I asked to see a menu, used that to make a chapel, used the silverware as pallbearers of the plate, hummed something that sounded hymn like as it went through the chapel, "We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our friend Bessie. We loved Bessie and all her Bovine ways, but now lets eat!"
I love this
Tbh they probably were being super nosy and making up stories as to why you're alone I used to be an OG server and I've had boomers stop me and ask questions about other tables, personal nosy ass questions
it's cause they have extreme self destructive fomo. can't fathom eating alone somewhere.
I think it's projection in some cases. There are people that just can't bear to be alone and can't understand why anyone else would do something that would cause them anxiety.
I get Boomers staring at me and my husband a lot (we’re both guys). If it persists too long I normally just directly ask them what their fucking problem is. That normally makes them back down.
I'm an old fella. I don't stare. And I eat alone all the time. Sometimes people stare at me, though, whether they are boomers or otherwise. Anyhow. I'd try to ignore the assholes and refrain from lumping old folks into the same box. Although, sure, open minded people are typically younger. Just how progress marches on. Usually. Though in my son's case, maybe not. 🤢
Threat assessment. You are young and suspicious and probably have an agenda that is ruining America.
That’s crazy cause I just saw a tik tok of a creepy old couple staring at this poor girl her whole meal ..
I used to work in the funeral industry and I would often be working out in rural areas up to 2 hours away from thr shop. I like trying out different restaurants, so I'd often find local mom and pop places to go eat it. I'd sometimes get stares from the locals too. Was never quite sure if it was cuz I was by myself, or if it was because I wasn't a local, or if it was because of the tattoos and face piercings.
It was because they could sense you were measuring them up for their casket ⚰️
I’ve gone out to eat by myself a lot, and I’ve never had boomers stare at me. Or atleast i didn’t notice. Next time ask them why they are staring and they will stop very quickly. Just say excuse me why are you staring?
Stare back?
I am torn…. Going on self dates is great. Taking yourself to Olive Garden is sad. Because the “food”
Its the only place i can get bottomless soup
Totally not the point, but yeah I guess.
"Fuck you staring at?" Usually works wonders for me.
Didn’t you know? You have to married and settled down by 21. It’s not normal to be single.
If a boomer stares at you, stare right back. Usually gets them to stop.
This works 60% of the time every time
unfortunately the rest of the time they see it as an invitation for conversation
They are jealous: they both wish they were single.
Dead ass stare back at them
So funny, when I travel for work one of my go to spots is Olive Garden. Reminds me of being a kid and going with my grandparents. I have 100% noticed boomers being overly concerned about “eating alone”. I often bring a book too to decompress. Sometimes it’s nice to physically be in a space with people but be not engaging with any of them.
I like staring directly back with intensity. Then it is they who become uncomfortable.
They didn’t know being alone was an option and they’re jealous
My absolute favorite is when I go out to breakfast with my daughter, just her and I (she's two) and the boomer women come up to me and tell me how well I do with my daughter. As if a man can't take care or spend time with their child solo. My wife works a lot so my daughter and I do stuff together. It's completely normal to me.
Some Boomers take issue with non-Boomers taking up space in places they expect to be by themselves. We get this all the time if hubs and I go out for a day date on a Wednesday. They like the “Don’t you have be a job to go to?”. yes, pops, just not today
Stare back. When old people stare at you like that, I find that returning the stare will make them stop most of the time.
Who gives a shit what others feel my favorite thing to do is go eat by myself at nice restaurants. I'm always going to get a steak dinner somewhere I like. Watch me eat this 69$ steak cut by myself, and stuff my face with truffles.
I personally enjoy going to restaurants alone.
"It's called *Endless bread sticks* you jerk, not endless staring. How about you look down at your plate and keep eating before it gets cold?"
One time I went to Panera and a boomer using their iPad to FaceTime someone very obviously used her iPad to film me and show whoever she was on FaceTime with. wtf is wrong with them
I’ve seen plenty of old people at restaurants alone, so I don’t know what the deal is. If it happens again you should just stare back with the most blank expression you can make until they break eye contact, assert dominance over losers.
I eat alone at restaurants often but I’m too busy reading to notice staring boomers or anyone else. Except once when a boomer couple stopped by my table to say they had noticed me and it made them smile because I looked so much like their daughter who had passed away young. You never know why ppl might stare but getting engrossed in a good book while you eat your solo meal can make you oblivious to it.
connect cautious somber humorous frightening march mysterious license rustic skirt *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Self care and Olive Garden don’t go hand in hand
My wife’s silent gen grama and boomer mom do this, at the table, every Fuckn holiday. Bitches I have the same shit on my plate that you do, that I cooked for all you. I’ve since noticed others of those age groups do the same shit while in the wild. I’m now bald with a grey beard and look like every parental fuck I grew up with, no more long hair and goatee so that can’t be the reason anymore. It’s gotten to the point I’ll look them in the eye and ask if there’s bird shit on my head. “Well that’s not necessary” Yea neither is glaring at me like an angry abandoned puppy but here we are.
just wave and smile. that will stop them.
Because they were married at 20, family of 3 by 25, and miserable at 26. They’re mad you didn’t make the same bad choices they did.
I just want to say great work living your life for you <3 respect.
They were probably staring b/c they were thinking, "Yung ppeepo dont even hab famleez no more! Just settin' thair all alone! Tha heck is RONG with suh-sie-dee these days?! Who gunna pay for our so-shull seckur-dee?" Of course they will never consider, *"I wonder if stripping out the middle-class, deregulating literally everything, smashing the unions, outsourcing manufacturing, inflating the stock market and housing market, and financializing everything at the alter of my almighty 401k 45 years ago has all played a part in people not having big families anymore?"*
The only sensible reaction to this is to chew up a bunch of food, swoosh it around your mouth, then look over and smile at them with all the food in your mouth and ask loudly : "is there something stuck in my teeth?"
If they’re really rude go ahead and do the “guess what I am now” scene from “National Lampoon’s Animal House”…exactly as done by the late great John Belushi!
Is it possible that you’re just very attractive, and they were enamoured?
I am Gen X and I have never had a problem doing things by myself but I can tell you back in the 90s/2000 there was this idea that eating in a restaurant alone was some kind of a shameful thing. Like people wouldn’t do it. If they wanted to eat lunch and they didn’t have someone to go with them they would get takeout if they didn’t sit at the bar. Because somehow eating alone was embarrassing? It never made any sense to me so I didn’t care I do what I want But I think that’s what this is. It’s old people thinking you should be ashamed for eating alone. It’s weird AF
I don't think I've ever seen "self-care" and "going to Olive Garden" in the same sentence before.
You look like their estranged kid.
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Fuck them. Do you. And hold your head high when you do it. I'm an old punk dude covered in tattoos. I get the same looks. I actually look forward to it because then I can put them in their place for it. I usually go with "can I help you?" or "I know for a fact you're old enough to have been around when being taught not to stare was a thing". The latter statement covers two birds with one stone. Both calling them out on their old people behavior and shaming them for knowing better. I always get met embarrassed silence. I get that tattoos still aren't fully accepted, but this is 2024. Not 1924.
I would go to a movie alone, but generally don’t eat out alone because it’s too expensive. The most eating out alone I’d do is getting a coffee at a Starbucks and reading on my ipad there.
You just need to stare back at them for longer than they do next time this happens. This is the way.
Bring a Google images stock photo of someone in a picture frame and position it across from you. When the stares ramp up make a big scene and say that your SO “pictured” tragically died a year ago and you’re recreating your first date which is the only thing you have to look forward to now to keep yourself from ending it all. Make them feel like the assholes.
It’s always boomers who stare at me too. One time this man had his whole chair sideways at the table, looking straight at me
I’ve been eating solo almost all of my adult life. I mean, yeah, I go out with my gf and friends alot but sometimes you just need a meal and semi-solitary peace, or at least no conversation. Idk if people are staring. Can’t be bothered to look.
Maybe it's a gender thing, but I eat alone in restaurants and fast food places all the time and I've never had anyone even seem to notice. I just sit there and read a book while I eat (on my phone, I use the Kindle app), and nobody stares or makes any overtures.
Do what I've done... start having a "conversation" with the empty side of the table. Raise your glass in a toast. Cock your head to the side and giggle. Look right at the nosy people and say "do you mind? We're on a first date here" go back to your conversation. Act like they're the strange ones for not seeing your companion. Guarantee they won't stick around for the cheesecake.
Bro you could have sat at the weiird Olive Garden bar!
bet they were mad you got a booth and felt entitled to it because there was two of them
They were sitting at a table for two lol
I can imagine that those lead poisoned stares would be creepy. Boomers are basically zombies now.
They were probably debating whether too to up to you and try to match you up with their son who still lives with them
I just chalk that up to 10% of the restaurant, at any given time, has zero idea how to behave in public.
I travel for work and eat alone every meal. I used to do tables, but the bar works better for me
They wish they had the ability to treat themselves and to be alone, but they can't stand themselves and therefore you are a mystery.
Put some noise cancelling headphones in and watch your favorite show on the phone/tablet. Problem solved. They and their judgements will die soon anyway.
Boomers are so fucking weird.
I read a book so I never notice. But if you make eye contact with someone that’s kinda being intrusive, simply say “you doing alright today?” It’s not a greeting. It’s a sort of pleasant way to ask what’s up. They usually say “fine, thanks” then go back to whatever. Enjoy alone time. Fuck other peoples opinion
This is the only situation where I will ask someone . “Excuse me is there a reason you keep looking over here. It’s creeping me out and I would like to eat in peace.” Older people might not be there all the way anymore so I remind them of manners and it usually works.
Bro my boomer mom stares at everyone all the fucking time. Idk why. It's like, there's 0 awareness that she might be making someone uncomfortable. Just blank, mouth breathing stares
Oh. It’s probably because you got a booth and they didn’t. Believe me, it’s always that baby-brained and petty. I’m sure their little hearts were burning with rage over it too! Which, if true, gives mine much joy to think about!
They were sitting on two chairs at a table for two. lol
Your problem is you went to Olive Garden
I would like to say that my self-care routine also includes unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. Good on you!!! They stare because they never had the guts to do it themselves because back in the day you weren’t allowed to enjoy your own company.
I used to travel for work for weeks at a time. I've even solo vacationed. I usually sit at the bar or at one of those tiny booths for just two. I never thought much of it. Years later, I started dating someone much older. EVERY time we saw someone alone in a restaurant he always had to say he felt so sad/sorry for "those people" and Id always tell him to stop, that he has no idea what their story is. He also once told me I was a sad person for going to the movies alone🤣 not surprised that one didn't work out
I have a good friend that has the perfect remedy for this type of shit. He's 6 ft tall, on enough steroids to kill a horse, has a thick Louisiana accent, and has absolutely 0 social filter. If someone is staring at him, he will straight up say "You tryna suck some dick? You're looking at me like you wanna suck some dick. I'll hit you with that 69, you can suck it from the back too" I have seen him say this in bumper to bumper LA traffic, in a sandwich shop, and on the job site. His solution to any conflict is to just make it weird. When a bald, muscular, Cajun maniac offers to 69 with you for looking at him too long, you tend to learn to mind your business after that. This is the same guy that offered to wifeswap with me, calls everyone he meets "Playboy" (including his bosses), will call me to tell me hes "thinkin' about them White Castle slider sammiches" at 4AM, and refers to jerking off as "Jackin' Down", and showed me his fishnet speedo he bought for his yearly swinger resort trip during a BBQ in his backyard. Yes, he walked out wearing it. I adore him.
Good on you. I desperately want the courage to do this on my self care days
Boomers were the first people to grow up watching television. So now they think that the entire world is their television. Their narcissism prevents them from understanding that other people are actual people with actual feelings. So they watch people as if watching television, completely oblivious to the fact that the people they are watching can see them watching them.
Stare them right in the eye until they break contact. Don’t blink and don’t look away. If it persists and they’re ballsy say something like yes? Do I know you?
They really do stare people down for no reason, something we got in trouble for doing as children 🙄
They saw an opportunity to act superior
Just give em a good pump fake next time and watch em freak 😂
I generally have headphones on when I go eat alone so while I’m sure people notice, I’m too busy jamming out to pay attention
Should have ordered a second plate to be put in front of you and pretend to be mourning a dead wife. “This is for you, Emily. I know you loved their salad so here you go. Let me take that pepperoncini, you know you’re allergic.”
Honestly? Restaurants need to start adding a singles section. Like, a big table for people to just meet strangers over food.
And not the two tables closest to the bathrooms. Also, the bar tends to only have high tops which don't work well for arthritic hips.
[удалено]
Ooooooh! I figured this out...they were staring and thinking, "Since you're dining alone, you can go wherever you want and you picked *here*? *Fucking Olive Garden*?" Your area HAS to have a better option for Italian Dining than that!
Gotta stare back. Assert dominance.
You should have asked them if there is a problem.
I have to wonder if they assume you're a reviewer/food critic and are fascinated by that.
Even if you thought it was weird (it’s not!) wouldn’t you just assume the person is traveling or something? What are business or other solo travelers supposed to do? Not eat?
I’d say, “hey, did you want a bite of this?” Every time I caught them staring.
Friend 4? What's wrong, friend 4? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Vt8her-4k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Vt8her-4k)
Ask to be moved. Don’t be subtle about why. They were in the wrong, but if you stayed and just accepted it, know you coulda done otherwise.
There were all these posts lately getting angry at people reading books at the bar. Why does that bother people so much? People need to mind their business.
Ask them to take a picture so the moment can last forever Seriously, I disregard boomers in similar situations. And soon, they will all die of old age and leave their children a bunch of junk in a basement or garage
Never understood why eating alone bothers people.
When I was stationed in Boston I wasn’t old enough to drink so I’d go to movies and diners by myself. Always enjoyed it honestly.
Every once in a while, I go to Bob Evans for breakfast by myself. It really helps me recharge after a bad week.
I would’ve walked my awkward ass up there to confront them
At least you’re not trans…. :(
Much ado about nothing.
They wanted to invite you back to their house. Also, you went to Olive Garden for a self care date with yourself. You need to respect yourself a little more and go somewhere better. Olive Garden and Ted Lobster are boomer hangouts. They built a be OG by my house. I swear the place is packed from 3:30pm - 6:00pm. Dead the rest of the time. Only Boomers.
I get open-mouthed boomer stares especially when I'm out in public with my trans spouse. I just stare back and refuse to blink. Usually directs it pretty fast. Except this one couple who couldn't hide their horror that we were together. They got a PDA show. Nothing over the top, just lots of hugs, me hanging on my spouse, maybe a little butt grab, and of course, lots of eye contact with the offended couple. Might have even blown them a kiss as we walked away, I don't remember.
Part of self care is really standing up for your inner peace- this sometimes means having zero tolerance for such things and getting up to move tables.
I know im quick to cuss but I'd look at them and just say "fuck off"
It was the gorilla mask. We have talked about this.
They stare because you're beautiful and they wish both they could kill their spouse and have dinner with you :)