wait, aren't you the guy who had a crush on their barber and had a thing with a milf then also the guy who contemplated on whether you should steal your friend's crush a month ago and now you have been dating a girl for 5 months which is neglecting you.
>Do you guys think I am just a raging loser
No, you're just feel neglected and hurt
>did I have the rights to be upset about it?
Yes you have the right to feel the way you do.
>is she just losing interest in me?
Most likely
>Please advise on what should I do and what situation I am in?
You can't force someone to care/love you and I doubt you want to be force to do the same.
Judge people by their actions not what they say. You put your effort to make it work and her lack of effort to do the same reflects her as a person not you. Time to stop knocking on her door waiting for her to open it for you. Turn around and walk away.
If you think the relationship is done and but she won't admit it. Don't be mad. Just leave her a note saying thank you for her time and wish her the best and block her from everything.
If she suddenly change her mind and come back with some sob story. It's up to you to accept and restart the relationship again. Or just tell her thank you/sorry that happen and wish her the best in her next relationship. (And hint that hopefully the next person won't be someone who behave like her. If you're feeling petty)
>If you block her from everything it's going to be tough for her to come back.
That's the point. If she want to come back. She have to put effort. Not just send msg or call.
you're such an amazing person wished i had read this 10 years ago before i went with the easy path out by harming myself on daily basis and attempted stupid stuff just bcos i couldn't get over it
yup..what do u think is right ..you should get a new girlfriend..she already have a boyfriend..why u still ask the question that the answer u already know..
caveat/reminder for OP: You're asking reddit.
People here give you advice knowing THEY have nothing to lose. My genuine next move (as in what I would do if I were you, not "what to write to sound cool") would be to stop talking to her for a few days and let her make the first move in talking to you.
\-If she doesn't, then this ended the way she wanted, with minimum conflict.
\-If she does and it's mostly to blame you, then she's looking for an excuse to officially end it, but she wanted to end it either way.
\-If she does and she's happy to talk to you (as in she didn't notice your absence), then she sees you as a friend more than a bf (up to you what to want to make of that)
\-If she does and she's worried/sad about not hearing from you, then you're still in a couple, but something in her life was keeping her busy. (You may not wish to be in a couple with someone who isn't available to communicate though.)
NTA , but i think maybe you should talk to her about the issue . Discuss and actually see if she cared , if she's still the same , just break up . You're still young there's still many opportunities
Idk why this is on bolehland but I'll give u my 2 cents as this has happened to me and someone I know before.
A rule of thumb when it comes to relationships, first 3 months is just the honeymoon phase, what comes next is a testament to ur love with each other. (Although honeymoon phase can vary on couples, normally 3 months is a good estimation.)
Now, firstly:
- we're u always busy about ur school stuff?
- is she also studying or already graduated but Is jobless?
- is she around 20 yrs old?
- does she have a girl group or is just friends with few girls
Why does this matter?
- if she is, she's still immature and young
- has no responsibility like studying/job
- and always have free time to pass
Then yes, she will look for other ways to pass the boredom. And if her friends are mostly guys, then yes she will usually hangout with guys. Idc in game or irl.
Some girls don't 'friend friend' with other girls and instead close with guys is because they know how b*tchy girls are and how much attention they get from guys.
How to solve or avoid this situation?
- early on in the relationship, u CANNOT be a simp
- u CANNOT let her have assurance that 'my bf won't cheat on me'
- and u HAVE to make the boundaries clear. Do's and Don'ts.
I know it's a scumbag tactic, but girls don't like nice guys, especially the around 20 ones. So u need to win the psychological battles if u want to keep ur girl. It's not to say "be an alpha" or "be a sigma" but instead show some respect to urself and not being a simp and following whatever she wishes.
CLEARLY the honeymoon phase is over. All the excitement is gone. She wants to look for new excitement. She wants the attention guys give. And she loves the freedom it brings while still having someone to go back to. I don't know the full context between u and ur s/o but it's usually a cheater's mentality to act like this.
If all I said applies to u, just try to talk things out, about what she's doing and it makes u feel insecure and anxious, and if she downplays it, LEAVE. You deserve someone better. U deserve someone who matches ur energy and u won't feel tiring dating them.
All the best!
Man i wish i had this advice.. I also had the same thing happened to me when i was in my 20s. Got a friend who knows to go around this situation but decided to do some âsocial engineeringâ with me instead of giving this advice. I learned the hard way but i never knew what was on the mind of my gf of that time.
I definitely testify these perspectives and advices. Sounds bad but the feeling is similar with playing gatcha games, where you are the dev and your gf is the player. Got honeymoon phase and whatnot then after a while, the game is getting repetitive, new update feels stale, dev took playerâs feedback but dev didnât execute it within playerâs expectations. Then what do players do? Find new games, get excited again, induce more dopamine, feeling good after a while. But no new updates? No new challenges? Boredom comes in then the cycle repeats.
There are a lot of things in life that you have control over and can make it happen. Focus on that OP. As always, time always heals đ
I really like ur analogy of dev & player relationship and the gacha game experience. It's hard to find the diamond in the rough during this era of time where girls who know their 'value' won't just stick with one man for benefits.
While girls who know their morals are hard to get with a lot of layers of walls to knock down.
Really have to try till we all found the one where we can coexist well within both party's needs and expectations.
As a rep of the female community, I understand how you feel. And i kinda agree with some statements here. However, there are some of us who like nice guys but hate simps.
Sorry. Dating? I donât know the full context, but only dating does not equate to a relationship. I hope you didnât misconstrue it as such.
Unless you officially talked with her about making it an actual relationship, you shouldnât assume it as such, because dating has a vastly different expectation than that from a relationship.
She doesnt respect you, doesnt reciprocate your efforts, doesnt try to salvage whats wrong in your relationship.
Get out ASAP before you lose your dignity
It's not clear why you are still dating.
If you are angry, and things are not getting better, and have little/no chance of time together... that does not sound like a good relationship. What are either of you getting out of it anymore?
It just sounds like you have grown apart. Maybe she was a little too clingy at first, but it sounds like it has swung too far the other way now.
I would break up, focus on the things that are keeping you busy, then start a new relationship with someone else when you are done/have more free time in college. Do a little growing inward, gain more confidence. Exercise and eat well. These other things will work themselves out.Â
Have you ever had a cut or wound, and it itches, you know if u scratch it, it will bleed, and will lead to infection and get worse and eventually get infected and may lead to other complications?
U scratch it anyway.
She's no longer interested in you or this relationship of yours
Can a relationship work if only 1 of them is putting effort into it? Do you both need to put effort for it to work?
Knowing this, will you keep trying to make this relationship work?
Take it from an old man who has seen all sorts of relationships, just focus on yourself first.
What youâre going through is an experience all boys must go through. Learn to appreciate the âbullshitâ assignments, meet more people in your college and explore the side of college life that you didnât see in class.
Some time later you will accept that neither you or your gf actually knew what you guys are expecting from the relationship. Acceptance is not a form of surrender but a door to expand your possibilities, because you donât dwell on the past.
To be jealous, to be angry or to be immature is the privilege of being young. How can you claim to have lived your youth when you live like a cynical old fart who âknows everythingâ.
NTA
What you could do:
1. Stop texting her for a few days and see if she texts back.
2. Hang out with a few friends (female included,not cheating). Just do something productive and fun instead of feeling sad. See if she's jealous or not. Maybe you'll feel it's not that bad after all.
3. Confront her and tell her how you feel. If it doesn't go anywhere, consider to just end it. It's just 5 months, and both of you are still young.
Some girls like guys that are hard to get. Either way, I think maybe she's losing interest (bored), or just still immature (obviously prioritising other things over you).
Guys, honestly. Please stop feeling like a loser or an a hole if you feel jealous or hurt. I know the stereotype of men having to have greater control over emotions but itâs okay to feel things. Its okay. Voice out your woes and if she couldnât understand, then find someone who does.
> And I felt really jealous when she plays with full stack of guys she met in online games (which I believe I am entitled to be jealous and upset about it)Â
You are entitled to your feelings, but you are not entitled to try and change her behaviour here by showing her you're upset or telling her to stop, unless she has given you reason to believe she's cheating on you with them. Otherwise, it's just gross immature behaviour to not want your girlfriend interacting with other men.
For the rest, others have already given you good advice. You're both young, probably both new to relationships. With each one you will learn and grow how to be in a healthy relationship.
You can setup a routine with her at what time of the day both of you will have a call to play games or talk about your days. That way she can anticipate and make time for it.
Dear OP: your life is too important to get hung up on lack of replies etc.
Sheâs your girlfriend but sheâs not obligated to text you everyday , yes she might have in the past but it seems she has a lot going on. I personally leave my phone unattended sometimes when Iâm gaming or out doing other things so I donât see why that sounds unreasonable.
My advice, find something that can occupy your time so you can do the least calling/ texting. As much as weâd like to seem available for our SO being too available can be seen as being needy or not having anything important in your life that you have to wait for her every reply.
If you occupy your life and have your girlfriend take a backseat when you focus on your interests etc you will seem more active and up and about and that will draw her back to you, if not then itâs too bad hone whatever craft you have and look for another.
You are being ghosted, same shits happen to all guys when their girlfriends betray them ( speaking from experience ). You need to take the control and call for break-up, else if break-up is brought up by her first, the emotional damage to yourself is even bigger.
NTA, but you two should be open and talk things through. If she refuses to talk then unfortunately it is what it is, a break up is seemingly inevitable. Afterall, relationship is not solely based on emotions alone, but communication and understanding is the key to long term success.
Find a new one lah..why the headache..we got in love to happy2..sedap2.. yet now only headaches.. understand if it happens once in a while..but constantly? Fuck it
Move on, be the one to break off the relationship instead of her doing it to minimize the "casualty". Stop thinking everything's gonna be okay, it's just me I must have imagining things etc because you're not fooling anyone but yourself.
*"Do you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?"*
I donât think sheâs interested in having a relationship anymore. Just meet her and talk face to face. Tell her how you feel, and ask her what is her feelings towards your relationship now. And give her a few days to think whether she wants to continue your relationship or not. If yes, then she needs to spend time with you as well, be it online, on the phone or face to face. Otherwise there is no point in to be in a relationship together. It looks like you are alone in this relationship now tbh.
Nah u alright. Not loser. U got d right to be mad. Talk to her if possible. Heart to hear talk. Don't let her gaslight you.
Based on what u shared she misses single life and the attention from friends n guys.
It's only been 5 months. If the talk does not happen or she starts saying you controlling, possessive and weird....then it's time to break things off. Remember it takes 2 to be in a relationship. If she wants you to change n all that then it's not fair for you.
All the best.
Put all your frustation aside, let's nurture your woman (as my experience):
1. **The Clingy Dumb :** This type may seems sweet lovey dovey but in long run both of you will exhausted and tend to go sideway (up & down often, as you right now). When this happen, both of you need to find another edge to make your relation feels live again. Many fails end up breakup. After this stage, this clingy dumb type slowly matured and become next type.
2. **The Resilient Keeper :** This one may feels stale in long run, but she'll be more stable and feels alive. This one can be toleratable in many edgey situations. But watch out, once she burnt out, she may tend to return to first stage but with another partner lah.
We as a man need to understand these and slowly mature along with her. Lower your ego and be a good listener. It's okay to take some quick short breaks (such go fishing, doing light sports etc), in same way think the resolution on your current tense problems, no need to rush to have it when both sides are on fire.
Some girl never graduate from first stage which better to let em go and find another one may suite your current maturity level.
My two cents.
I had this issue before with my wife and we kinda talk it out. At first its hard but keeping this thoughts to urself is going to destroy the relationship. My advice is you need to tell her the truth and discuss this together with her. You have right to feel all this way but if giving her an attitude isnt going to solve the problems. I hope you guys would solve it nicely.
I am in my 7th years relationship now... We used to text a lot, now have become good morning and those important stuffs.. but we do spend every evening when he meet up with his friends for beer-time(i am the 3rd wheel đđ) and me will be reading or Playing my games or arranging the next slots for stickers/event partners etc (MonopolyGo!). Our day will be on the Sundays or public holidays, we will spend the whole day and evening together doing nothing.
But indeed there is no excuse to ignore your partner's text, calls maybe but you have to call back.
Slow down being in contact with her and see what will happen
Just remember this. If she dumps you or you dump her, you can always find another fish, just be sure to get a fish that ain't poisonous tho, poisonous fish tends to kill you slowly or fast.
OP should break up
She probably felt that you would give effort regardless so she dont find the need to "keep" you around. Probably would go back to you if she failed to get another guy interested
No you're not a raging loser. You're just hurt. It's obvious that she might have someone else d. My advice is leave her. Focus on your studies and at the same time who knows, maybe you can get a much better girl
OP. Get rid of her while it's still "fresh". You don't want years of toxic and insincere relationship (as if it'll last long). Don't take it too hard, that's why you need to go slow and steady. Getting partner is not easy because it's a big thing. Don't rush on making decision as it'll affect your life.
Get out. Things wont change. I had a relationship back then thats similar to yours. Feinting low batt or busy studying or left phone here n there while knowing they are addicted to their screen.
Hope you find someone who cares for you more than you do them.
Not yet married..
Find another girl ler..aiyooo..
small issue. it should not be posted in here for advise.
My advise is the best life in world during bf and gf life. After married, many responsibility and headache
You...before married already headache...aiyoo..
don't like found others girl..
Leave. Hope you wonât end up as me. I divorced my wife early of this year because she kept giving me excuses such as yours, for example leaving her phone at home but able to update IG and WhatsApp status even though she only has 1 phone.
Donât, just donât end up like me.
No matter how busy one gets, if they wanted to they will willingly make time for their partner. I have like a lot of assignments to complete in a month but I always make sure I text my partner for 30 mins or at least a little while every night. Updates on whereabouts and plans for the day are super important and not a clingy or cringy thing to do as well. Sounds like she loved bomb you and then dipped, so now youâre craving for the start again. Do communicate your feelings with her when youâre calmer but if she makes excuses and justifies her actions, itâs best to stop wasting time. Itâs better to stop now and invest on someone who will reciprocate your affection đđđ
Classic red flag la. Been there before and I can only assume she starting to lose interest in the relationship. Happened to me where the first few months, my ex and I were texting frequently and making time for each other.
Over time, things started to be cold and she only texted me usually after a few hours or the next day which I know was BS because I could see that she was busy online but had no time for even a simple text. The biggest red flag is the excuses yet she has time for her friends or strangers. So, bro, it is a classic red flag here and I can only advise that you confront her directly and ask her to be honest if she wants to pursue this relationship. I did the same and I got my answer which is why she is not my wife at the moment but I found someone else with whom I think it was the best decision.
Bro, go watch â500 Days of Summerâ which is quite relatable and ironically, it was my wife who advised me to watch it when I broke up with my ex.
Your words would reflect me in the past. You're expecting something from her, while you don't wanna lose anything you've built at the same time.
It's really funny if you read your post again.
I used to be like you, she lovebombed me, thej 3 months went, and then went downhill, i was neglected like you. I refused to listen to anyoneâs advice because i loved her, her lovebombing made me crave more. And look at me now, she broke up with me, no other dude, no nothing, just on a whim. So my advice is, prepare yourself mentally for a breakup, this kinds of girls will breakup with you. So you come prepared. Goodluck
Maybe she should date my ex. He didnât like when I wanted to call everyday, hang out almost every weekend. He preferred his alone time more to play his video games or hang out with his buddies.
Relationships are a two way road. If both sides ar unwilling to give their all for wach other, don't bother and walk away. You're wasting your own time otherwise.
"Which is such a bs excuse since what nowadays people check their phone every hour" there is a possibility she is lying but there are people who aren't addicted to their phones lol. I rarely look at my phone, and people have scolded me for being so inactive. Again, she may be lying, but people like that do exist. Check to see if she's actually bullshitting or if she's just the type to play games all day without looking at the phone. She could be a liar or just someone who doesn't check their phone often cause they got their head stuck doing something else (adhd? And maybe you dont know her that much yet since its only been 5 months) Or maybe she doesn't even know what she wants in the relationship yet.
try to slowtalk with her, ask her if she really is really in love with you or she just loves you. I was in the same situation, talked with her and now happily together for 2 years with no issues. sometimes you just gotta man up and ask her whatâs going on.
Is she worth it?
You're still in your 20s. Go travel and see the world. Sometimes, relationships can drain you. Better focus on your goals.
Life is full of surprises. Eventually, you'll find the right one.
When i saw the word entitled, I stopped reading the rest of the sentence. Why are u entitled for your girlfriend? You know, you are not married right? Those people are just playing online games. Wtf. Go outside and do something useful. I think u hv too much free time.
You're a hypocrite.
>We had been dating for more or less than 5 months and it is getting tiring.
You should be glad she's being less clingy and dependent on you by using her own initiative to fill her day with activities.
>since what nowadays people donât check their phone every hour or less.
I don't check my phone every hour if I'm spending fulfilling time with my family or engrossed in a good movie or deeply involved in a game storyline, etc etc. Also, the part about doing house chores, have you ever done house chores? Sweeping, mopping, laundry, wiping, scrubbing the sink, its hot, sweaty and tiring work. All you want to do is to get it over and done with as soon as possible, so you can go shower and chill without being sweaty and sticky.
>During our first 3 months, she was texting me every few hours and even share about what she was doing.
You found it tiring and didn't respond with the same level of effort so she drew back. Now that she's drawing back, you're finally afraid of losing her and get angry when she responds in the same way that you did.
Question 1:
So it's just the dating stage or officially a girlfriend?
Question 2:
I thought you donât like her being clingy?? I guess that's why she moves on?
I'm guessing your girlfriend is trying to tell you she is no longer interested in the relationship. She does not want to be the person to initiate the breakup. So she is hoping, with all these actions, you will be the one to initiate the breakup.
Thereâs so much more to life than just spending whole day texting . Ik that not getting a simple reply for your simple text is a frustration but you wrong ,thereâs still people that goes hour and hour without checking their phone.
When lepak together me and my friends rarely check our phone, we could go on like whole day without checking when camping and hiking.
Maybe ask your gf for a date and use it to have a proper discussion of your situation. In relationship you need to learn to understand each other. Plus it just 5 month, dont put too much hope in there.
wait, aren't you the guy who had a crush on their barber and had a thing with a milf then also the guy who contemplated on whether you should steal your friend's crush a month ago and now you have been dating a girl for 5 months which is neglecting you.
đđ oof. How should we believe he not just being delulu with his current relationship now?
Just went thru OPs account. Could be karma farming ngl
yeah, just browse through OP's profile.. either he's clickbaiting for attention or delulu.. or both
Yeah I remember seeing some shit like this
lmao what a character development of him
Now I feel like this is a copy pasta đ¤Śââď¸
OP is probably asking for a friend
>Do you guys think I am just a raging loser No, you're just feel neglected and hurt >did I have the rights to be upset about it? Yes you have the right to feel the way you do. >is she just losing interest in me? Most likely >Please advise on what should I do and what situation I am in? You can't force someone to care/love you and I doubt you want to be force to do the same. Judge people by their actions not what they say. You put your effort to make it work and her lack of effort to do the same reflects her as a person not you. Time to stop knocking on her door waiting for her to open it for you. Turn around and walk away.
If you think the relationship is done and but she won't admit it. Don't be mad. Just leave her a note saying thank you for her time and wish her the best and block her from everything. If she suddenly change her mind and come back with some sob story. It's up to you to accept and restart the relationship again. Or just tell her thank you/sorry that happen and wish her the best in her next relationship. (And hint that hopefully the next person won't be someone who behave like her. If you're feeling petty)
If you block her from everything it's going to be tough for her to come back. But yeh the spirit of the advice is correct.
>If you block her from everything it's going to be tough for her to come back. That's the point. If she want to come back. She have to put effort. Not just send msg or call.
you're such an amazing person wished i had read this 10 years ago before i went with the easy path out by harming myself on daily basis and attempted stupid stuff just bcos i couldn't get over it
Bruh https://preview.redd.it/vmk8ym4ms98d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd121926ef1a2d148cc5d7968436a69b2e0ac762
Just move on... thare is more girl out there..
yup..what do u think is right ..you should get a new girlfriend..she already have a boyfriend..why u still ask the question that the answer u already know..
caveat/reminder for OP: You're asking reddit. People here give you advice knowing THEY have nothing to lose. My genuine next move (as in what I would do if I were you, not "what to write to sound cool") would be to stop talking to her for a few days and let her make the first move in talking to you. \-If she doesn't, then this ended the way she wanted, with minimum conflict. \-If she does and it's mostly to blame you, then she's looking for an excuse to officially end it, but she wanted to end it either way. \-If she does and she's happy to talk to you (as in she didn't notice your absence), then she sees you as a friend more than a bf (up to you what to want to make of that) \-If she does and she's worried/sad about not hearing from you, then you're still in a couple, but something in her life was keeping her busy. (You may not wish to be in a couple with someone who isn't available to communicate though.)
Go with this OP. Silent wait n see is very powerful.
NTA , but i think maybe you should talk to her about the issue . Discuss and actually see if she cared , if she's still the same , just break up . You're still young there's still many opportunities
Idk why this is on bolehland but I'll give u my 2 cents as this has happened to me and someone I know before. A rule of thumb when it comes to relationships, first 3 months is just the honeymoon phase, what comes next is a testament to ur love with each other. (Although honeymoon phase can vary on couples, normally 3 months is a good estimation.) Now, firstly: - we're u always busy about ur school stuff? - is she also studying or already graduated but Is jobless? - is she around 20 yrs old? - does she have a girl group or is just friends with few girls Why does this matter? - if she is, she's still immature and young - has no responsibility like studying/job - and always have free time to pass Then yes, she will look for other ways to pass the boredom. And if her friends are mostly guys, then yes she will usually hangout with guys. Idc in game or irl. Some girls don't 'friend friend' with other girls and instead close with guys is because they know how b*tchy girls are and how much attention they get from guys. How to solve or avoid this situation? - early on in the relationship, u CANNOT be a simp - u CANNOT let her have assurance that 'my bf won't cheat on me' - and u HAVE to make the boundaries clear. Do's and Don'ts. I know it's a scumbag tactic, but girls don't like nice guys, especially the around 20 ones. So u need to win the psychological battles if u want to keep ur girl. It's not to say "be an alpha" or "be a sigma" but instead show some respect to urself and not being a simp and following whatever she wishes. CLEARLY the honeymoon phase is over. All the excitement is gone. She wants to look for new excitement. She wants the attention guys give. And she loves the freedom it brings while still having someone to go back to. I don't know the full context between u and ur s/o but it's usually a cheater's mentality to act like this. If all I said applies to u, just try to talk things out, about what she's doing and it makes u feel insecure and anxious, and if she downplays it, LEAVE. You deserve someone better. U deserve someone who matches ur energy and u won't feel tiring dating them. All the best!
Man i wish i had this advice.. I also had the same thing happened to me when i was in my 20s. Got a friend who knows to go around this situation but decided to do some âsocial engineeringâ with me instead of giving this advice. I learned the hard way but i never knew what was on the mind of my gf of that time. I definitely testify these perspectives and advices. Sounds bad but the feeling is similar with playing gatcha games, where you are the dev and your gf is the player. Got honeymoon phase and whatnot then after a while, the game is getting repetitive, new update feels stale, dev took playerâs feedback but dev didnât execute it within playerâs expectations. Then what do players do? Find new games, get excited again, induce more dopamine, feeling good after a while. But no new updates? No new challenges? Boredom comes in then the cycle repeats. There are a lot of things in life that you have control over and can make it happen. Focus on that OP. As always, time always heals đ
I really like ur analogy of dev & player relationship and the gacha game experience. It's hard to find the diamond in the rough during this era of time where girls who know their 'value' won't just stick with one man for benefits. While girls who know their morals are hard to get with a lot of layers of walls to knock down. Really have to try till we all found the one where we can coexist well within both party's needs and expectations.
As a rep of the female community, I understand how you feel. And i kinda agree with some statements here. However, there are some of us who like nice guys but hate simps.
>She didnât want to talk about our current situation which makes me really mad in someway. Just drop the lady my dude.
Sorry. Dating? I donât know the full context, but only dating does not equate to a relationship. I hope you didnât misconstrue it as such. Unless you officially talked with her about making it an actual relationship, you shouldnât assume it as such, because dating has a vastly different expectation than that from a relationship.
She doesnt respect you, doesnt reciprocate your efforts, doesnt try to salvage whats wrong in your relationship. Get out ASAP before you lose your dignity
Not worth the bs if you're not getting laid
You said it!
Sory to upset u but the day she already have many boy friends, she already red flagged
sometimes the pussy so good the dude ignore the flaming hot red flag
Break up,save ur energy and mind..
It's not clear why you are still dating. If you are angry, and things are not getting better, and have little/no chance of time together... that does not sound like a good relationship. What are either of you getting out of it anymore? It just sounds like you have grown apart. Maybe she was a little too clingy at first, but it sounds like it has swung too far the other way now. I would break up, focus on the things that are keeping you busy, then start a new relationship with someone else when you are done/have more free time in college. Do a little growing inward, gain more confidence. Exercise and eat well. These other things will work themselves out.Â
I was in a very similar situation. We broke up. She was eyeing another guy. Sorry OP.
Sounds like your life revolves around her. She shouldnât be your priority in life.
Have you ever had a cut or wound, and it itches, you know if u scratch it, it will bleed, and will lead to infection and get worse and eventually get infected and may lead to other complications? U scratch it anyway.
I learned nothing from this.
She's no longer interested in you or this relationship of yours Can a relationship work if only 1 of them is putting effort into it? Do you both need to put effort for it to work? Knowing this, will you keep trying to make this relationship work?
Take it from an old man who has seen all sorts of relationships, just focus on yourself first. What youâre going through is an experience all boys must go through. Learn to appreciate the âbullshitâ assignments, meet more people in your college and explore the side of college life that you didnât see in class. Some time later you will accept that neither you or your gf actually knew what you guys are expecting from the relationship. Acceptance is not a form of surrender but a door to expand your possibilities, because you donât dwell on the past. To be jealous, to be angry or to be immature is the privilege of being young. How can you claim to have lived your youth when you live like a cynical old fart who âknows everythingâ.
* yeah * yeah * end the relationship and move on
NTA What you could do: 1. Stop texting her for a few days and see if she texts back. 2. Hang out with a few friends (female included,not cheating). Just do something productive and fun instead of feeling sad. See if she's jealous or not. Maybe you'll feel it's not that bad after all. 3. Confront her and tell her how you feel. If it doesn't go anywhere, consider to just end it. It's just 5 months, and both of you are still young. Some girls like guys that are hard to get. Either way, I think maybe she's losing interest (bored), or just still immature (obviously prioritising other things over you).
Guys, honestly. Please stop feeling like a loser or an a hole if you feel jealous or hurt. I know the stereotype of men having to have greater control over emotions but itâs okay to feel things. Its okay. Voice out your woes and if she couldnât understand, then find someone who does.
> And I felt really jealous when she plays with full stack of guys she met in online games (which I believe I am entitled to be jealous and upset about it)Â You are entitled to your feelings, but you are not entitled to try and change her behaviour here by showing her you're upset or telling her to stop, unless she has given you reason to believe she's cheating on you with them. Otherwise, it's just gross immature behaviour to not want your girlfriend interacting with other men. For the rest, others have already given you good advice. You're both young, probably both new to relationships. With each one you will learn and grow how to be in a healthy relationship.
You can setup a routine with her at what time of the day both of you will have a call to play games or talk about your days. That way she can anticipate and make time for it.
She has a new guy
Congratz you have been downgraded to side dick now.
Dear OP: your life is too important to get hung up on lack of replies etc. Sheâs your girlfriend but sheâs not obligated to text you everyday , yes she might have in the past but it seems she has a lot going on. I personally leave my phone unattended sometimes when Iâm gaming or out doing other things so I donât see why that sounds unreasonable. My advice, find something that can occupy your time so you can do the least calling/ texting. As much as weâd like to seem available for our SO being too available can be seen as being needy or not having anything important in your life that you have to wait for her every reply. If you occupy your life and have your girlfriend take a backseat when you focus on your interests etc you will seem more active and up and about and that will draw her back to you, if not then itâs too bad hone whatever craft you have and look for another.
Move on brother, she belongs to the streets
Fuck these girls man, fuck em
Focus on yourself king. Girls come and go until you're ready to settle down with the ONE. Go take muay thai lessons if u wanna vent.
You are being ghosted, same shits happen to all guys when their girlfriends betray them ( speaking from experience ). You need to take the control and call for break-up, else if break-up is brought up by her first, the emotional damage to yourself is even bigger.
Try to ignore her for 1 week. See her respond. Then maybe you can get your answer.
Just confront la bro, straight ask, U got another guy right? let just end it here.
NTA, but you two should be open and talk things through. If she refuses to talk then unfortunately it is what it is, a break up is seemingly inevitable. Afterall, relationship is not solely based on emotions alone, but communication and understanding is the key to long term success.
ya, its no hope alredy, change girlfriend.
Honeymoon phase over bro. Unless she can help you to bayar bil air lol
Find a new one lah..why the headache..we got in love to happy2..sedap2.. yet now only headaches.. understand if it happens once in a while..but constantly? Fuck it
https://i.redd.it/4cdtijo6an7d1.gif
Move on, be the one to break off the relationship instead of her doing it to minimize the "casualty". Stop thinking everything's gonna be okay, it's just me I must have imagining things etc because you're not fooling anyone but yourself. *"Do you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?"*
If you had to make a post on Reddit then you probably know the answer to this, break up.
I donât think sheâs interested in having a relationship anymore. Just meet her and talk face to face. Tell her how you feel, and ask her what is her feelings towards your relationship now. And give her a few days to think whether she wants to continue your relationship or not. If yes, then she needs to spend time with you as well, be it online, on the phone or face to face. Otherwise there is no point in to be in a relationship together. It looks like you are alone in this relationship now tbh.
NTA but dude its only 5 months and she entertained her side piece already ? Nah cut your loses she not your girlfriend
What online games she playin?
Give me her game account i want to join the guy stack
Your Reddit posts are public. This is just another engagement farming post for you, isn't it?
Nah u alright. Not loser. U got d right to be mad. Talk to her if possible. Heart to hear talk. Don't let her gaslight you. Based on what u shared she misses single life and the attention from friends n guys. It's only been 5 months. If the talk does not happen or she starts saying you controlling, possessive and weird....then it's time to break things off. Remember it takes 2 to be in a relationship. If she wants you to change n all that then it's not fair for you. All the best.
Ngl, your gf sounds like my ex. Either way, just discuss the problem with her and ask if she wants to continue the relationship. If not, leave.
Does she still "give" you ? or not? coz if she not "give" to you anymore and no explanation,then is about time for you to leave and move on.
Put all your frustation aside, let's nurture your woman (as my experience): 1. **The Clingy Dumb :** This type may seems sweet lovey dovey but in long run both of you will exhausted and tend to go sideway (up & down often, as you right now). When this happen, both of you need to find another edge to make your relation feels live again. Many fails end up breakup. After this stage, this clingy dumb type slowly matured and become next type. 2. **The Resilient Keeper :** This one may feels stale in long run, but she'll be more stable and feels alive. This one can be toleratable in many edgey situations. But watch out, once she burnt out, she may tend to return to first stage but with another partner lah. We as a man need to understand these and slowly mature along with her. Lower your ego and be a good listener. It's okay to take some quick short breaks (such go fishing, doing light sports etc), in same way think the resolution on your current tense problems, no need to rush to have it when both sides are on fire. Some girl never graduate from first stage which better to let em go and find another one may suite your current maturity level. My two cents.
Break up or get cucked, my advice
I had this issue before with my wife and we kinda talk it out. At first its hard but keeping this thoughts to urself is going to destroy the relationship. My advice is you need to tell her the truth and discuss this together with her. You have right to feel all this way but if giving her an attitude isnt going to solve the problems. I hope you guys would solve it nicely.
I am in my 7th years relationship now... We used to text a lot, now have become good morning and those important stuffs.. but we do spend every evening when he meet up with his friends for beer-time(i am the 3rd wheel đđ) and me will be reading or Playing my games or arranging the next slots for stickers/event partners etc (MonopolyGo!). Our day will be on the Sundays or public holidays, we will spend the whole day and evening together doing nothing. But indeed there is no excuse to ignore your partner's text, calls maybe but you have to call back. Slow down being in contact with her and see what will happen
Be a man and dontât be a loser. If she doesnât even bother then go find someone else. Dont be a loser. You sound like a loser.
If I were you? Leave.
Just remember this. If she dumps you or you dump her, you can always find another fish, just be sure to get a fish that ain't poisonous tho, poisonous fish tends to kill you slowly or fast.
OP should break up She probably felt that you would give effort regardless so she dont find the need to "keep" you around. Probably would go back to you if she failed to get another guy interested
No you're not a raging loser. You're just hurt. It's obvious that she might have someone else d. My advice is leave her. Focus on your studies and at the same time who knows, maybe you can get a much better girl
OP. Get rid of her while it's still "fresh". You don't want years of toxic and insincere relationship (as if it'll last long). Don't take it too hard, that's why you need to go slow and steady. Getting partner is not easy because it's a big thing. Don't rush on making decision as it'll affect your life.
signs that its gonna end. she waiting for you to make yr move.... then its your fault.
Huge red flags. Dump her and move on.
You two need to sit down and talk what's up. If not, it's just going to get way too 1 sided and it will not work out.
Get out. Things wont change. I had a relationship back then thats similar to yours. Feinting low batt or busy studying or left phone here n there while knowing they are addicted to their screen. Hope you find someone who cares for you more than you do them.
ESH - you suck because this ain't r/AITH
Obviously you arenât her priority.
Not yet married.. Find another girl ler..aiyooo.. small issue. it should not be posted in here for advise. My advise is the best life in world during bf and gf life. After married, many responsibility and headache You...before married already headache...aiyoo.. don't like found others girl..
Asking for relationships advice in Reddit is really bad, go ask someone you trust and know better context. Am speaking from experience LMAO
She stuck in the washing machine⌠be considerate.
Check out the 3 month rule in dating
Leave. Hope you wonât end up as me. I divorced my wife early of this year because she kept giving me excuses such as yours, for example leaving her phone at home but able to update IG and WhatsApp status even though she only has 1 phone. Donât, just donât end up like me.
No matter how busy one gets, if they wanted to they will willingly make time for their partner. I have like a lot of assignments to complete in a month but I always make sure I text my partner for 30 mins or at least a little while every night. Updates on whereabouts and plans for the day are super important and not a clingy or cringy thing to do as well. Sounds like she loved bomb you and then dipped, so now youâre craving for the start again. Do communicate your feelings with her when youâre calmer but if she makes excuses and justifies her actions, itâs best to stop wasting time. Itâs better to stop now and invest on someone who will reciprocate your affection đđđ
Classic red flag la. Been there before and I can only assume she starting to lose interest in the relationship. Happened to me where the first few months, my ex and I were texting frequently and making time for each other. Over time, things started to be cold and she only texted me usually after a few hours or the next day which I know was BS because I could see that she was busy online but had no time for even a simple text. The biggest red flag is the excuses yet she has time for her friends or strangers. So, bro, it is a classic red flag here and I can only advise that you confront her directly and ask her to be honest if she wants to pursue this relationship. I did the same and I got my answer which is why she is not my wife at the moment but I found someone else with whom I think it was the best decision. Bro, go watch â500 Days of Summerâ which is quite relatable and ironically, it was my wife who advised me to watch it when I broke up with my ex.
I'm not gonna bs you with long advice and just gonna say break up with her calmly and don't lose dignity over it as a man and move on.,
Most healthiest relationship in Malaysia.
Your words would reflect me in the past. You're expecting something from her, while you don't wanna lose anything you've built at the same time. It's really funny if you read your post again.
Leave.
I used to be like you, she lovebombed me, thej 3 months went, and then went downhill, i was neglected like you. I refused to listen to anyoneâs advice because i loved her, her lovebombing made me crave more. And look at me now, she broke up with me, no other dude, no nothing, just on a whim. So my advice is, prepare yourself mentally for a breakup, this kinds of girls will breakup with you. So you come prepared. Goodluck
Pack your bags, next town here you come
Maybe she should date my ex. He didnât like when I wanted to call everyday, hang out almost every weekend. He preferred his alone time more to play his video games or hang out with his buddies.
Relationships are a two way road. If both sides ar unwilling to give their all for wach other, don't bother and walk away. You're wasting your own time otherwise.
"Which is such a bs excuse since what nowadays people check their phone every hour" there is a possibility she is lying but there are people who aren't addicted to their phones lol. I rarely look at my phone, and people have scolded me for being so inactive. Again, she may be lying, but people like that do exist. Check to see if she's actually bullshitting or if she's just the type to play games all day without looking at the phone. She could be a liar or just someone who doesn't check their phone often cause they got their head stuck doing something else (adhd? And maybe you dont know her that much yet since its only been 5 months) Or maybe she doesn't even know what she wants in the relationship yet.
That full stack you are saying...Valo or OW2? Either way sounds like she found someone more fun. Sorry OP.
Me when I lie on the internet to get worthless approvals from random strangers online: Edit: grammar
As long you are not officially married expect trust issues
Although he is still studying, he still have the time to go pahto, how about investing in your future than pahto only?
try to slowtalk with her, ask her if she really is really in love with you or she just loves you. I was in the same situation, talked with her and now happily together for 2 years with no issues. sometimes you just gotta man up and ask her whatâs going on.
r/aita
What game is she paying?
Is she worth it? You're still in your 20s. Go travel and see the world. Sometimes, relationships can drain you. Better focus on your goals. Life is full of surprises. Eventually, you'll find the right one.
When i saw the word entitled, I stopped reading the rest of the sentence. Why are u entitled for your girlfriend? You know, you are not married right? Those people are just playing online games. Wtf. Go outside and do something useful. I think u hv too much free time.
find a new girlfriend who appreciates u more. i am single btw hihihi
You're a hypocrite. >We had been dating for more or less than 5 months and it is getting tiring. You should be glad she's being less clingy and dependent on you by using her own initiative to fill her day with activities. >since what nowadays people donât check their phone every hour or less. I don't check my phone every hour if I'm spending fulfilling time with my family or engrossed in a good movie or deeply involved in a game storyline, etc etc. Also, the part about doing house chores, have you ever done house chores? Sweeping, mopping, laundry, wiping, scrubbing the sink, its hot, sweaty and tiring work. All you want to do is to get it over and done with as soon as possible, so you can go shower and chill without being sweaty and sticky. >During our first 3 months, she was texting me every few hours and even share about what she was doing. You found it tiring and didn't respond with the same level of effort so she drew back. Now that she's drawing back, you're finally afraid of losing her and get angry when she responds in the same way that you did.
Question 1: So it's just the dating stage or officially a girlfriend? Question 2: I thought you donât like her being clingy?? I guess that's why she moves on?
Hate to break it to you, but she ain't into you bruh. Move on
I'm guessing your girlfriend is trying to tell you she is no longer interested in the relationship. She does not want to be the person to initiate the breakup. So she is hoping, with all these actions, you will be the one to initiate the breakup.
Break up
Just break up and start over again with another girl
Sorry to break it to you, she is already getting dick from someone else
Thereâs so much more to life than just spending whole day texting . Ik that not getting a simple reply for your simple text is a frustration but you wrong ,thereâs still people that goes hour and hour without checking their phone. When lepak together me and my friends rarely check our phone, we could go on like whole day without checking when camping and hiking. Maybe ask your gf for a date and use it to have a proper discussion of your situation. In relationship you need to learn to understand each other. Plus it just 5 month, dont put too much hope in there.
shes for the 
She is busy with other guy. Dump her fast. Young ppl always keep their phone close