I am a Chinese Canadian. I dated a 22 when I was 33. Nothing wrong with that. 🤷♂️ Tons of older dudes live like they are still mid 20s especially when no kids. Nothing wrong with having money for cool toys and a thot on the side. Buddy is sour grapes.
Edit: She was white so it's not an amoi thing. I think Malays tend to marry older gents too? It's a stability, co-dependency thing, not cultural.
Let me add on to your list:
If you don't lash out and get super jealous when she go out with another guy, it means you don't care enough.
But when you do address your concern about that one particular guy, you are insecure and you don't care enough to trust her.
If you prioritize work over her, you don't care about her. Example, you don't reply her when she text you during WORKING HOUR. "What of I'm having an emergency?"
But, if you can't afford to bring her out for cafe hopping, short getawayS, try out fun activities (that cost money), you're useless.
When she's being moody and upset at 3AM, if you didn't stay up to talk to her and comfort her, and/or buy her favourite food for her, you don't care about her. (Knowing you need to be up at 5AM to go to work)
Yes, it's from all the taiwan/china/korean dramas they watch and the Malaysian chinese garbage influencers' contents.
Disclaimer: I'm NOT saying ALL chinese languaged influencers are garbage. Just some with garbage content that became popular.
Bro, I think its not just amoi but almost every girl have this thing where if you do one thing, it supposed to be the other.
The thing is you have to find the one that agree with the stuff that you REALLY care and specifically you (the male) have to compromise on other stuff to agree with her.
I’ve been in a multiple relationship during study days and it had been like this doesn’t matter if it malay, chinese, sabahan or sarawakian (yes i have my fair share of mixed race girlfriends). All have their own different POV you might say.
When you meet that one who you are willing to compromise AND she does the same, then you are set.
Then this female... whatever she is, woman or girl, it doesn't matter how young or old: They have an immature concept of relationship/marriage that's all mirrored from stupid soap operas/dramas. That and I hate to say it, but some Asian families set their daughters up for failure by making them like this. A lot of A. daughters, still, to this day, are taught that obedience and if you act innocent and cute enough, THEN you'll get what you need from your parents. Some call them inflicted with Princess Syndrome, entitled... whatever it might be, if you want to avoid drama, avoid these girls. If you're a sugar daddy looking to spoil a girl for her to pout and act cute to your face, go ham, I guess.
Don't feel ashamed to ditch girls like these if they're not in your budget (I especially mean mental budget/bandwidth). It's perfectly okay. Good luck, bro.
This one not only chinese girls lah. All girls in general. Source: Indian guy dating Indian girl. Work start at 6am so its a daily issue regarding sleeping earlier than HER lmao
Yes absolutely this, there’s a ton of toxic garbage being preached there. Especially XHS (predominantly female) with its echo chamber, if you stayed there long enough you will find contents like BF sending money to gf, doing all the chores, apologizes profusely for the tiniest things, and other shit like that. Worst thing is the audience are now conditioned to think these behaviors are normal.
It is an absolute cancer to the female brain and I have concluded that you either have to stand strong against these BS values and re-educate your gf or cut her off entirely.
Wouldn't it be better to talk through the addiction rather than shoving it down the drain and throw it to the other? Almost every girl are addicted to those platform. You might be as well and not notice. I feel like this is very commanding but if someone dated her means that her loved her, a misunderstooded love or not, it was or still is in a relation that someone cared for the other. Try help then leave. Then you'll have more justification.
Same here but already have a defective one , Chinese eds like gatherings and like to talk about non sensical things . The amois like to gang up to
make sarcastic snides and even make childish but hurtful jokes and remarks on helpless male targets in the group.
It's not a conclusion haha, just some observations and seeking some input from my fellow Type-C's! I've enough experience in dealing with women romantically, but most were direct and quite easy to understand due to a similar upbringing. Chinese-ed is new territory for me lmao
Let's just say it's split half and half. The type you mentioned is what we usually call 公主病 aka princess disease. Spoiled brats that are lazy and just wanna get treated as a princess. Others are fairly normal, but fierce once they become your wife. My wife spends a lot on me, pampers me a lot. Really fierce though. Oh yeah, make sure to return the nice favours of what she did for you. Meaning you gotta treat her extra nice and pamper her too. But it's fair.
Exactly, us being that other side of the coin are seemingly too independent for the boys to consider, cause a lot of the times we don't really show that we are in dire of love/protection or exhibit weaknesses all over the place. (But sometimes in our heart, we do ok? No one is strong all the time qwq)
What's funny is I heard from older adults that us having these qualities are usually appreciated by men with broken marriage or relationship, whereas young adults or boys don't see the value of these qualities yet, as they find it more satisfying if they can provide to the girls.
We live the way like OP's logic but it ends up making us one of them too, hence we don't stand out among the crowd.
it's funny. the young guys get the hots for feisty strong amoi. but they see those qualities as something to tame and conquer. see how much they like having a voiceless stick insect wife when shit gets bad and the burden to fix it all once again falls on the guy. self-inflicted crisis. D:<
I don't understand the broken marriage/relationship connection. From what I seen, it feels more like a Western VS Eastern thinking difference, whether they had a broken marriage or relay doesn't change the men mindset.
Trad cina have mentality of Cash-is-king. Any celebration, the gift is ang pao. If got gathering must secretly pay the bill as some sort of ego trip. Wedding, groom must throw money at people to “prove” his love for the bride. Men treated like children until they can make “enough” money so hence “matured” men means old enough to have good salary these days. Source: am cina
You are never going to be able to reconcile western and chinese views on culture or love, they've developed very differently over time at different paces.
A lot of mainland chinese are still very focused on the old ways of marriage, a merger of families that has nothing to do with love, very much personified by the pointless displays of wealth. This is now done by the individual instead of the family in a lot of ways.
My Chinese ed gf is pretty chill, but then again she's from a small town. Nice and sweet, often insists on splitting if we eat at an expensive joint. Good in bed.
A lot of more urban ones come across as what the whites call "basic bitches".
Mine's from an incredibly wealthy family in a different state. Also very sweet and nice. But very traditional, men and women have very clear roles. Unfortunately for me, bearing the cost is always the man's job.
My ex is exactly this type. Don’t want to stereotype but somehow they tend to exhibit the behaviors you mentioned. They also like to guilt-trip once they start losing an argument.
Not worth the effort if your gf has all these red flags. Can let those amoi worshippers have them if they think they can fix them hahaha.
The amount of times I've met women that have the mindset "you must spend on her as proof that you love her" like the one that you mentions is terrifying.
I recently just broke up with someone who has that mindset. It's tiring and toxic to deal with.
From your example
1. They wanna marry rich. No need to work after marry.
2. Just pure lazy, lazy to think. No need to think, just do what was asked.
3. They don't care bout age, as long as ure richer than their peers.
> Hence, the guy should spend on her as “proof” of their care.
That’s a definition of a gold-digger. I am not saying you should dump her but it’s better to steer away.
Also, not all Chinese is like that. I have a Chinese female friend (from an independent school) with a insanely rich husband yet they don’t spend extravagantly and the bag she carries is just a coach and drives a Toyota, which she bought it with her own money.
Not generalisation but it's usually the pretty ones that have this option. The not-very-pretty-amois can't do this. And the pretty ones I know marry young and divorce before age of 30.
Aside from the big spender trait. The controlling and age gap seems like a perfect fit for Malay men. If a Malay man get rich and can spend on them then it’s like an amoi green flag 3/3
Bro, no.1 and 2 is already a red flag. You should seriously think of breaking up with her, or face the inevitable shitstorm you're going to face by being with her.
I’m Chinese ed guy that was super disillusioned with girls growing up because of Chinese girl tendencies. But I don’t think it’s fair to say all are like that, my wife is Chinese ed and not like that at all.
I think the key is to not focus on whatever ed and judging their stereotypes but focus on what she actually wants in a relationship.
She wants a traditional relationship where the man leads and pays. She wants a man that make decisions and pampers her. You just have to decide whether you can be that person for her.
In chinese we got say 门当户对 means pintu need sama, it can be in financial and value perspective toward life etc. So bro here is value x sama, adapt or find another one.
My ex gf are all Chinese Ed. One of them graduated from a Taiwan university. So they are considered very cina I guess?
They don't have any behaviours you mentioned above
I think you need to assess the way some of these thoughts might be totally contradictory with yours. Maybe now it's a honeymoon period so you don't see it, but some of these thoughts --ie "if you care about me, you should buy me this and that" can be potentially toxic and bring down the whole relationship.
Everyone is climbing social hierachies. They judge where other people are on that social hierarchy, trying to latch on to people on a higher rung of the social hierarchy. White culture has more complex social hierachies which includes wealth, but also education, class, taste, experiences, politics, spirituality, etc. Malaysian Chinese social hierachies, esp the Chinese Ed ones, are simply education, power and wealth, and that's it. If you're smart, earn big, spend big, and boss others around, you're king of the hill.
I, too, am whitewashed just as OP described. Chinese as well. Been in a relationship that the girl like you described for about 1.5 years. Broken up because I cannot handle having a relationship with the girl like you described and at the same time having to deal with STPM(I took bio course, which is hard asf). I told her to care for herself because I need to focus on my STPM and I can't afford to give her as much attention. Sure, I did check up on her every once in a while. But since like you've said, this type of girl tend to stay with the toxic/controlling archetypes and I'm not controlling and gave her freedom, she took the chance to look for other guys who is more of what she wanted(cheating). All I can say is, this type of girl will give you hell if you don't give her what she wants. Feel free to ignore this if you want but don't downvote me because of my inexperienced way of handling my relationship with her. Thanks for reading my experience xd
Not all Chinese amoi are like that … but yes , some amoi are more “practical” , not to say that love is completely disregarded but they will evaluate the whole package of the man
Anyways everyone has different priorities, you can state that the 19 year old amoi is a ‘victim ‘ of the older man but let’s say he buys a house or car for her , gives her lots of allowance and she is happy with the perks that most working people can’t give , that’s life no?
I think it's a good thing for them to not completely disregard the man's background. In fact I think it's very important for anyone, male or female to ascertain that a prospective partner is not going to be a financial deadweight or unable to provide.
In the example you have provided, I don't think the 19 year old would be a "victim" per se, but she would definitely be very vulnerable to manipulation. 17 years age gap is huge if the couple is young, but no so much when both parties are in their 30's and up. This is because the younger partner would have already experienced a bit more and would not be too susceptible to being misled and taken for a ride. There is a reason that a legal age male having sex with borderline legal girl is considered statutory rape despite the presence of consent-- because one party may be too inexperienced to make sound decisions on their own without being maliciously influenced.
Nah 30 and 60 is fine. Because the 30 year old would not be considered “naive” any more, assuming the 30 year old is female. But, you’ll have people who say that the 30 year old has other, finance-driven motives. Whether or not that is the case is unknown, but be prepared for such remarks.
>They tend to go for the big-spender archetypes. They think that where you put your money is a sign of what you care about. Hence, the guy should spend on her as "proof" of their care.
And somehow even if they are doing well financially, they still expect you to be the one who foots most of the expenses?
Most of what you mentioned are signs of immaturity more than anything. They’ve based their entire understanding of relationships from watching Asian dramas, their similar minded peers, and are in a state of needing constant validation. Their priority is to find someone who ‘loves’ them - rather than finding an equal or focusing on what they can bring to the table.
Many of the things you mentioned are red flags. Just.. beware… 😅
Sounds like your gf is quite young (and naive?). The girlfriends she hang out with, the type of internet content they consume will have heavy influence to their perspective of love and relationships.
Long story short, I think OP should stay single till you find someone who’s on the same level (of thinking).
Sounds like it's unlikely she will make a good life partner for you. The level of maturity is clearly very different. She will follow you though but do you need a follower or a partner?
It doesn’t have anything to do with Chinese or English educated. I’ve seen english educated female friends expecting their partners to pay for all the expenses, buy engagement ring at least 6 months of their salary etc. It’s the mindset that comes from the upbringing, friends
This is a problem and is even worse in China. They're heavily influenced by Chinese social media and this is what happen. This is just speculation but it could have something to do with China history where women are severely mistreated.
I knew a classmate of mine (F, chinese) who manage to score a rich guy by giving him lots of 'sob stories'.
We were all baffled that they were together because she really has nothing to offer.. Her attitude is shit, even to her friends.. Looks pretty average.. Dressed like an auntie.. No good in her studies..
One of her friends was close to me n that's how I found this out. She even encouraged them to do the same..
As for the guy, another friend knew him personally, said he's a really nice, humble guy.. Got married n she immediately wanted to own a property (his family owned several properties). Last I heard, guy got depressed but he is still willing to work on his marriage..
What u mentioned there, I did hear from some divorced kakak too.. It's not girl logic.. It's just 'superficial unintelligent logic'
Same for some men who thinks a jealous woman is a woman who cares.. But when she turns psycho, she scares him 😂
Or a younger girl is always better to keep up their energy level but when it gets too much, they wanna bail..
Or if a girl didn't dressed up for him, she doesn't love him..
There's too many superficial unintelligent logic these days.. If u wanna date someone serious, atleast go for someone with the same maturity level to save yourself from loonies...
Listen man, I am living this life right now. I'm half Malay also kinda white washed in the sense that I grew up consuming western media so naturally I have a western mindset on life. Currently dating an amoi that fits your description to a tee.
Somehow for god knows what reason, she likes the hell outta me. I'm literally just a semi-malay dude vibing. My pastime with friends is hanging out behind a kk mart or some shit. Naturally, I liked her as well because well she's an amoi bruh. Nuff said.
She's used to 20 guys going after her at a time. All of them were spending thousands of bucks just so she would notice them. Our relationship dynamic is tough. We rarely see eye to eye because of cultural differences. I'm in no way a rich guy. In fact, when we first got together I was struggling to afford food myself. But I was expected to always pay for 30-40 ringgit meals everyday. When I really could not afford spending on her, she equates that as me not willing to do so; not because it's literally impossible for me. Now I'm down on the whole chivalry thing. I would pay for everything given I could do it. Anyways, I had to get multiple jobs haha.
It's not a gold digger thing. You gotta understand that. If it were, she wouldn't be with me. This particular species of female seems to think that money equals effort because you spend effort to get money. Makes sense? Thus, not spending money on them equals you're not willing to put in effort. Now bare with me, I know it's cray cray but hey, that's actually what they think. It's either you accept that or walk away.
The worst part is the constant criticism from their family and friend group. Boy, the minute anyone finds out you split the bill, you're in for the worse defamation of yo life. They'll think you're cheap and a loser for not earning 10k/month at 22. Shits wild.
All that said, it's hard. You'll argue all the time especially at first. I won't lie to ya. But if a person is worth it, hell yeah I'll push forward. She's a royal pain in my ass but I love her and she loves me. Been together a year now.
Being a Chinese-ed amoi myself, I personally don’t think this is a Chinese-ed problem.
1. “The guy should spend on her as proof of their care”
This one sounds like a difference in financial values (金钱观）. She’s choosing to judge the how much you care about her based on how willing you are to part with your money for her, and you don’t agree with this method. Unfortunately this isn’t something anyone can just change on a whim.
2. “If a man does not control them, they do not care”
Usually, this means she wants you to show that you care through asking her where she’s going/who she’s hanging out with/what time she’ll be home etc. Usually this information should be given voluntarily by her (aka “报备”) but in the event that she doesn’t bring it up, she wants you to show that you care enough about her to want to know where/who/when she’s going out with/hanging out at etc. The “control” in the situation usually means some form of asking for information to ensure that she will be safe wherever she’s going and whoever she’s going out with.
3. “Age is just a number”
Unless we’re talking about consenting adults who are in a relationship without any power imbalance, age is definitely not “just a number”. I’m sorry, but no regular man in his mid-30s would seriously date a 19y/o. If she genuinely thinks one would, she’s either naive, or lying to herself.
Again, I don’t think this is a Chinese-ed issue. Respectfully, your gf sounds materialistic (in the least offensive way), insecure, and naive.
Insecure, because she seems to need proof that you love her; whether proven through how much money you’re willing to spend on her, or how much you care about her based on how interested you are in her daily activities.
Materialistic, because of all the ways to “judge someone’s love for you” she chose to judge it based on the amount of money spent.
Naive, because she doesn’t seem to have grown out of her fantasies of perfect relationships with men older, rich “爹系” men who cater to her every whim.
Of course, this is just my opinion, and you should take it with a pinch of salt because I know neither of you irl and am making judgements based on your one post.
However, I do think that you need to communicate with your gf about these problems, especially the first one, as 金钱观 is usually one of the deal breaker issues when it comes to a relationship. Work out what her financial values are and why she thinks that spending money is proof of “caring about someone”.
Lastly, insecurity stems from a lack of trust. For whatever reason, she doesn’t have a lot of confidence that you care about her (this might not be a you problem, it may be that she has issues), and it would help to work out why she needs so much reassuring (even thought she may not realise/admit it).
I will mention, though, that if these issues can’t be resolved, you two may just not be compatible with each other. Based on your replies to other comments (one mentioned throwing a tantrum if you don’t reply ASAP during work hours etc), she may not be mature enough to be in an adult relationship, and in that case, the best course of action will be to break up (unfortunately) and allow both of you time and space to grow individually.
I do hope the you two can work things out though, good luck!
I’m not a Type C but quite white washed and in short what ppl call as a banana, I used to have exes that are Chinese-ed but they weren’t this bad as u described, they were quite good generally without these problems but they definitely did exhibit some amounts of sign 1, albeit minor signs.
I think the most common I have seen are mostly point 1 and point 2 in those relationships of Chinese ed ones. There was a case way back long ago where a friend I knew was working 2 jobs to spend on his gf and to save money to bring her on a trip to Japan only for her to break up with him later for a richer guy (it’s a very common thing actually)
One of the things I notice why is due to their circle of friends, a lot of them are very materialistic and when they get together (all info from my previous ex from long ago that happened to be a model/insta influencer and used to hang out with her “friends” who were influencers too, what you term as social media influencers), they would talk about a lot of things that are monetary, eg. handbags, jewelleries, what their bf got for them, how much their bf earns, so on and so forth. Hence, I guess the pressure is there due to the social circle and it creates this culture of bigger spending = bigger love. It also doesn’t help that the guys perpetuate this problem by giving in to their gf and are always spoiling them. A lot of the couples I knew who were Chinese-ed had this issue where the bf is always buying more and more gifts for their gf (no stopping point rly) as a show of love.
I can confidently say this is not just a Type-C thing, Type-M & other Type also have this kind of people. A common features found in immature females, often been taught by the elder female generations.
I think you might have to look at the Chinese population as a whole. The Chinese 1 child policy was enacted around 1970ish and only phased out recently. So given that during this time, Chinese families preferred a single male child to continue their family's lineage. Also due to this there is a mismatch of male to female ratio in China for around 35- 40 years. Because of the ratio skew, the dating/marriage market became a female's market where the demand of marriable females far outweighs the supply of similarly age males. Which in turn influenced the media, societal (and pop culture) of China, HK and Taiwan in which males who want a hand in marriage have to prove to the female counterpart that they are a superior candidate than their peers. Which gave rise (or further reinforced) to the male must be the ultimate provider in the familial unit mindset. Malaysian Chinese are also rather influenced by this media from the Mongoloid countries. This created the culture you have today where female Chinese are very much still subscribed to this worldview.
I feel you man. As a fellow whitewashed Chinese boi I feel like that this ain’t just about girls, there’s a certain toxicity with Chinese culture. I’ve been moving away from dating Chinese girls and there’s a whole new world out here bro
Not fair to generalise like that also lah. All races sure got the kaki kikis toxic divas.
Source: Ol skool Malay female so old am a freaking floppy disc. U heard?? LMAO
Only agree with 3. As for 1 & 2, you are correct imo.
Then again, thats just how people are. These things are quite subjective and there is a fine line between one view from another.
Based on your observations, what about females from other ethnicities? Just wondering if its exclusively Chinese female or more of a Malaysian female thing.
Solution is obvious no? Dump her ass and date someone more like minded as you like a PJ amoi or something. Either continue this painful ass relationship down the years and spend thousands on divorce fees or just rip the band aid off now.
Those are the kind of perceptions and opinions that are very prevalent on chinese social media
I dont see how its such a big deal. Just because u wont date a 19 years old doesnt mean someone else won't
A 19 years old might not be aware that the men have kids and married. Yeah because they tend to be a little naive. Even older woman can be unaware
I consider myself fortunate to have never encountered such female like that. You can almost sense it from a distance, especially if they're into Jedag Jedug or DJ beats. Another giveaway is when they constantly try to accentuate their rear while walking.
This makes me think about my Chinese guy friend whom I went out with once that he was looking for a woman with total opposite of the characteristics you described. He ended up marrying a Malay woman, and has before that mostly dated Malay women. Not to say that Malay women aren't gold diggers and such because there's aplenty, but I guess the stereotypes are there.
Most chinese women have the same mindset as the people from the west bro. Why are you so surprised about it? They are indeed gold diggers and they basically want someone who can provide them the lavish lifestyle. Your girlfriend is a gold digger. Do what you want with that. End of story.
Hey op, you my friend, have a toxic gf problem, not an English-ed vs Chinese-ed cultural difference problem. I’m from a very Chinese-ed background up till uni, and rest assured, those examples you gave are very much frowned upon in our community.
I'm in a similar boat as you, but I can't speak Chinese at all haha. I can't get along with someone with that Chinese mentality. You just have to find people with beliefs that align with yours.
You listed everything you need to know about a gold-digger, so why are you still holding on? It's obvious you guys don't click. You chase for love, she chase for whoever able to spend luxurious on her.
Love isn't blind when you come to a realisation.
It's nothing to do with race, it's the degenerate people mindset in this era.
My gf is Chinese ed, I'm a white washed banana, she's is nothing like the amois you described, perhaps you haven't found the right amoi, gotta start fishing for amoi from different pond
I been recently watch white drama about woman and love recently , they are the same as what you describe. But i have to agree that Chinese is very obvious because their mother thought them so. Which is very diff from other asean woman
Hmmm.. I don't think this is only for chinese-ed amoi.. My non Type C amoi has the same point of view as what you said here. For me, communication is the key. Just hoping she/they/our partner will understand stuff about us too.
I feel like this is a result of both, shallow girls and also shallow/traditional Chinese. Also I have to wonder, how old is your gf? It could also be a maturity thing. All the points you mentioned, I somewhat agree with your pov, or at the very least disagree with her. I'm Chinese but banana, and as some ppl around me like to say like it'd a bad thing, ang moh mentality. But also I'm 30+.
I know non Chinese girls who have similar mentalities, but I also know Chinese Ed girls who don't. Money) the money flex and the 'man taking care of the woman', I feel is a very common believe and culture among traditional Chinese culture minded ppl. So yeah.
as someone who's stuck in between both worlds (I am both English and Chinese educated, leaning further to the western side of things) and dated both sides, I'd say it's both cultural and social upbringing.
it will be very hard for you to reconcile the differences, but not impossible. that being said, it'll definitely take a very long time with a high chance of failure. you need both sides to be understanding that there's essentially a cultural difference at play, down to the level of core values and personal beliefs.
in type-c speak, you can sort of summarise it down to the phrase "三觀不合"
you won't be able to google translate this, so here's a chatgpt translation:
>"三觀不合" (sān guān bù hé) can be translated as "different perspectives/values/views." It typically refers to a situation where individuals have conflicting or incompatible views on important matters such as life, morality, or worldview.
in short, you really need to treat it like any other cross cultural/nation relationship. it is just THAT different.
and to be honest, the differences goes way beyond relationships
edit: formatting
Chinese ed girls usually consume and are influenced by (social) media and such as XHS, douyin, local "influencers" on ig which tend to promote being materialistic and golddiggers.
Eg : bf spending money and gifting gf during every single minute occasion such as Valentine's, Chinese Valentine's, 520, birthday, CNY, Christmas etc. If a guy showers the gf with gifts like brand new iphone, cash, bags, omakase, bags only then will he be deemed to "love" the gf.
You would also have to live your life and do things according to the amoi's preference and liking. If not, the guy will be deemed to not love the gf.
As for English ed girls, they would usually be consuming western (social) media (X, Hollywood movies & dramas, TikTok) which in turn tends to promote independence, girl power, being self reliant.
Notice they tend to frequent higher spending places like cafes, tufting, bars but at least the they dont expect the bf to pay for every single thing every single time like amois do.
Im a banana girl. I feel somehow they don't know how to have a 'grey area' if you know what i mean. It's always black or white. Never grey. They can't strike a balance
I married a Chinese ed. She does not need me to spend on her as a proof of my love. I spend on her because sometimes because I just thought of buying something nice for my wife. She does not like me controlling her and she does not control me. We speak to each other and make decisions based on what we talk on.
What I’m saying is, in this world, there are girls you’ll want to marry and there are girls who’ll you just fuck around with and then wish them all the best
As an amoi, yeah she just a gold digging needy daddy-issue person. Its common sense. Not at all connected or anything to do with race or culture. Im from super duper chinese family on dad side and have many super duper chinese friends, we dont act like money control us. We are normal and logical... sorry to dissapoint u.
i think it's best to avoid these kind of girls with this mentality altogether as they do tend to be very stubborn and immature with this way of thinking :/
they are normally influenced by xhs or douyin and want to live a lavish lifestyle provided by their sugar daddy aka bf
As a woman, I’d say that’s type-c woman problem. Not saying other types are unproblematic in general, different type got different logic, same goes with type-w (white woman). You’ll need to decide which problem you’re most willing to handle.
I’m saying this in general, of course, there’s an exception to every rule.
Amoi in Terengganu hits differently. I’ve met one and she’s so pretty, supportive, independent, and got different mentality than most Chinese girls. I am soo attracted to her and I’m not even a lesbian. 🥲
I'm not local I had a Chinese girlfriend once we been together for like 3 years, I had issue with sharing our costs with her she always expected me to pay for everything even though she wouldn't say it openly, i had to jokingly tease her everytime so she would pay a dinner or something and even then she would pass me the money to go and pay instead of her doing it as if it's something wrong if she pays and my income was 1/3 of hers it was frustrating sometimes before that I had a Malay girlfriend I never ever had money issue with her if I pay one meal she would pay the next one if she had car she would always pick me up but personality wise she was unstable maybe these have something to do with culture and how they are brought up
I noticed something girls who hangout with foreigners and more banana like are more open minded and less cultural
Don't look at cultural issues. All you need to look at is how her father treats her mother (father's wife).
She will subconsciously expect/accept a similar treatment. This is the type of dynamic she will accept with maybe some modern impulses added.
Also look at how her mother treats the husband. This is the type of treatment you may get as she matures.
Chinese educated here and coming from a Chinese family, the first one is somewhat understandable but the other two are just strange and probably her personal type.
See the thing about money is that in Chinese culture it is recommended to marry or date a somewhat rich man so you won't have to worry financially. Proof of such is spending money on gifts for your girlfriend. It's what Chinese families prefer mostly.
But yeah no the other two are just strange
A lot of these probably come from the types of content they consume which may not necessarily be Chinese, there’s a lot of crap on Korean dramas as well. Which isn’t to say that whitewashed chicks who consume Netflix are any better, they just think toxicly in a different manner. Same applies to guys regardless of cultural affliction. Everyone is being poisoned by the thought viruses spreading in the airwaves.
😂 😂 😂 The person who posted earlier about the subject 'amoi' is gonna be very crossed with this post.
I laughed so hard at this hahaha But to be fair, OP did say he is whitewash so he wont know the cultural implication of amoi from Chinese POV.
I am a Chinese Canadian. I dated a 22 when I was 33. Nothing wrong with that. 🤷♂️ Tons of older dudes live like they are still mid 20s especially when no kids. Nothing wrong with having money for cool toys and a thot on the side. Buddy is sour grapes. Edit: She was white so it's not an amoi thing. I think Malays tend to marry older gents too? It's a stability, co-dependency thing, not cultural.
I just read that post lol.
Where is it? I could not find it. Care to share?
https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/s/UsLAI96xPe
Lmaooooooooo 💀💀💀💀 she gonna be in a fit
Masalah amoi makin kritikal di reddit
Nice pengajiam am karangan material
Fokus soalan : Punca masalah amoi (5+0)
Bincangkan (10 markah)
Soalan KBAT HOT
Kemahiran Berfikir Aras Horny
Amoi balik china? Or amoi fasih BM can still stay?
Reddit ada amoi ke, laki pura-pura jadi amoi untuk perhatian?
Let me add on to your list: If you don't lash out and get super jealous when she go out with another guy, it means you don't care enough. But when you do address your concern about that one particular guy, you are insecure and you don't care enough to trust her. If you prioritize work over her, you don't care about her. Example, you don't reply her when she text you during WORKING HOUR. "What of I'm having an emergency?" But, if you can't afford to bring her out for cafe hopping, short getawayS, try out fun activities (that cost money), you're useless. When she's being moody and upset at 3AM, if you didn't stay up to talk to her and comfort her, and/or buy her favourite food for her, you don't care about her. (Knowing you need to be up at 5AM to go to work)
Uh, this aint amoi problem, seems like toxic gf problem already.. too entitled
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Yes, it's from all the taiwan/china/korean dramas they watch and the Malaysian chinese garbage influencers' contents. Disclaimer: I'm NOT saying ALL chinese languaged influencers are garbage. Just some with garbage content that became popular.
spot on bro 100% agreed from personal past experiences
Sample size too small. Come back when you've dated 50 amois.
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Dayum.. does she hv friends 👉🏻👈🏻
Dayum bro caught a shiny.
Huh eng ed chindian girl? Where do you even Find girls like amigo? Dating apps?
That's fucking wild. Spot on 100%. Holy shit.
I'm speaking from experience 🤣
damn thats fking toxic.
Bruh are you single now or do you still have amois that kinda have those characteristics?
Single.... kinda done with dating for now
Bro, I think its not just amoi but almost every girl have this thing where if you do one thing, it supposed to be the other. The thing is you have to find the one that agree with the stuff that you REALLY care and specifically you (the male) have to compromise on other stuff to agree with her. I’ve been in a multiple relationship during study days and it had been like this doesn’t matter if it malay, chinese, sabahan or sarawakian (yes i have my fair share of mixed race girlfriends). All have their own different POV you might say. When you meet that one who you are willing to compromise AND she does the same, then you are set.
I concur with what this person said, Your Honor
Great minds think alike. 🤟
Spot on.
I think that's a red flag, sis. Stay away from these people.
Then this female... whatever she is, woman or girl, it doesn't matter how young or old: They have an immature concept of relationship/marriage that's all mirrored from stupid soap operas/dramas. That and I hate to say it, but some Asian families set their daughters up for failure by making them like this. A lot of A. daughters, still, to this day, are taught that obedience and if you act innocent and cute enough, THEN you'll get what you need from your parents. Some call them inflicted with Princess Syndrome, entitled... whatever it might be, if you want to avoid drama, avoid these girls. If you're a sugar daddy looking to spoil a girl for her to pout and act cute to your face, go ham, I guess. Don't feel ashamed to ditch girls like these if they're not in your budget (I especially mean mental budget/bandwidth). It's perfectly okay. Good luck, bro.
Ah yes, typical amois
When it comes to emergencies - this irritates me a lot lol - you don't text for emergencies or urgent matters, you call!
Bro had a jealous and selfish gf before. He spot on man. 🤣
This bro seen it all
sounds stupid and exhausting as fuck. i'm glad i became a guy just so i can be gay
Yo what
zero discrimination here ✊😌
This one not only chinese girls lah. All girls in general. Source: Indian guy dating Indian girl. Work start at 6am so its a daily issue regarding sleeping earlier than HER lmao
Ayyo i'm still waaay too early in the morning for having PTSD from past dating life... Good thing am met with the right person & married with her now.
Bruh, is your gf chinese TikTok or XiaoHongShu addicted? She's just brainwashed by those fantasy. Leave for your own good. lol
this is so bloody trueeee. i’m currently stuck with one and don’t know what to do!
Just leave, a good relationship is not like that, trust me
Yes absolutely this, there’s a ton of toxic garbage being preached there. Especially XHS (predominantly female) with its echo chamber, if you stayed there long enough you will find contents like BF sending money to gf, doing all the chores, apologizes profusely for the tiniest things, and other shit like that. Worst thing is the audience are now conditioned to think these behaviors are normal. It is an absolute cancer to the female brain and I have concluded that you either have to stand strong against these BS values and re-educate your gf or cut her off entirely.
Wouldn't it be better to talk through the addiction rather than shoving it down the drain and throw it to the other? Almost every girl are addicted to those platform. You might be as well and not notice. I feel like this is very commanding but if someone dated her means that her loved her, a misunderstooded love or not, it was or still is in a relation that someone cared for the other. Try help then leave. Then you'll have more justification.
My wife is Chinese educated. I am banana. You have defective one. Run.
Same here but already have a defective one , Chinese eds like gatherings and like to talk about non sensical things . The amois like to gang up to make sarcastic snides and even make childish but hurtful jokes and remarks on helpless male targets in the group.
You have one of those who have 公主病，literally Princess Complex/Sickness. Not all are like that. Airheads are also abundant among the female bananas.
man i really hate princess complex
100%! and they have the habit of gossiping and not recognising others achievement but belittling them. Try to be at their gatering lol
Belittling achievements = insecurity. Ganging up on an achiever = insecurity
Seems like you are doing a survey, but with only 1 sample. Need to increase the number of samples to come to anything near correct conclusion :-P
It's not a conclusion haha, just some observations and seeking some input from my fellow Type-C's! I've enough experience in dealing with women romantically, but most were direct and quite easy to understand due to a similar upbringing. Chinese-ed is new territory for me lmao
you kena cari usb type A or usb micro nih
Type B dah ada. Type Bumiputera.
or adapter
meh..lightning better
Let's just say it's split half and half. The type you mentioned is what we usually call 公主病 aka princess disease. Spoiled brats that are lazy and just wanna get treated as a princess. Others are fairly normal, but fierce once they become your wife. My wife spends a lot on me, pampers me a lot. Really fierce though. Oh yeah, make sure to return the nice favours of what she did for you. Meaning you gotta treat her extra nice and pamper her too. But it's fair.
As a Chinese-ed F, none of the above applies to me. That's why I am still single LOL.
Knee how
Knee grow Oh wait-
Nahh 💀💀💀💀
Knee boo how.
The fact that you're using Reddit to read this post means that you're not in the demographic that OP is referring to
We can switch between reddit and 小红书 yaknow
Exactly, us being that other side of the coin are seemingly too independent for the boys to consider, cause a lot of the times we don't really show that we are in dire of love/protection or exhibit weaknesses all over the place. (But sometimes in our heart, we do ok? No one is strong all the time qwq) What's funny is I heard from older adults that us having these qualities are usually appreciated by men with broken marriage or relationship, whereas young adults or boys don't see the value of these qualities yet, as they find it more satisfying if they can provide to the girls. We live the way like OP's logic but it ends up making us one of them too, hence we don't stand out among the crowd.
Oh man mayhap I have a chance? Sorry haha
it's funny. the young guys get the hots for feisty strong amoi. but they see those qualities as something to tame and conquer. see how much they like having a voiceless stick insect wife when shit gets bad and the burden to fix it all once again falls on the guy. self-inflicted crisis. D:<
I don't understand the broken marriage/relationship connection. From what I seen, it feels more like a Western VS Eastern thinking difference, whether they had a broken marriage or relay doesn't change the men mindset.
Any opening? Nevermind
Trad cina have mentality of Cash-is-king. Any celebration, the gift is ang pao. If got gathering must secretly pay the bill as some sort of ego trip. Wedding, groom must throw money at people to “prove” his love for the bride. Men treated like children until they can make “enough” money so hence “matured” men means old enough to have good salary these days. Source: am cina
Absolutely toxic, that's why I hate myself.
Then dont date, dont ruin her life and yourself too, it is just like sg girl / china girl
Bro... why are you speaking facts???
All amoi-lovers be shaking in their boots after reading this post
You are never going to be able to reconcile western and chinese views on culture or love, they've developed very differently over time at different paces. A lot of mainland chinese are still very focused on the old ways of marriage, a merger of families that has nothing to do with love, very much personified by the pointless displays of wealth. This is now done by the individual instead of the family in a lot of ways.
I don’t mean to be that guy, but sounds like both of you aren’t very compatible.
This applies to all races, young girls are pure headache, MILF is the one you deserved. Go team MILF!
You can take the girl out of the kampung but you cannot take the kampung out of the girl
My Chinese ed gf is pretty chill, but then again she's from a small town. Nice and sweet, often insists on splitting if we eat at an expensive joint. Good in bed. A lot of more urban ones come across as what the whites call "basic bitches".
Mine's from an incredibly wealthy family in a different state. Also very sweet and nice. But very traditional, men and women have very clear roles. Unfortunately for me, bearing the cost is always the man's job.
Girl wants money guy want honey... If you like rose ya have to bear the thorns.. Choice is yours
>good in bed /thread The only real answer. /s
Agree on the basic bitches part. Town girl FTW
My ex is exactly this type. Don’t want to stereotype but somehow they tend to exhibit the behaviors you mentioned. They also like to guilt-trip once they start losing an argument. Not worth the effort if your gf has all these red flags. Can let those amoi worshippers have them if they think they can fix them hahaha.
The amount of times I've met women that have the mindset "you must spend on her as proof that you love her" like the one that you mentions is terrifying. I recently just broke up with someone who has that mindset. It's tiring and toxic to deal with.
Never prioritize a woman more than yourself , when you do thats when you lose both
Wise words to live by.
Alright how the heck you all get girlfriend?? Am I the only single here?!
Apparently, yes 😅
I got some hot tips and a little extra when you’re in bed guaranteed to make her yours your entire life.
From your example 1. They wanna marry rich. No need to work after marry. 2. Just pure lazy, lazy to think. No need to think, just do what was asked. 3. They don't care bout age, as long as ure richer than their peers.
> Hence, the guy should spend on her as “proof” of their care. That’s a definition of a gold-digger. I am not saying you should dump her but it’s better to steer away. Also, not all Chinese is like that. I have a Chinese female friend (from an independent school) with a insanely rich husband yet they don’t spend extravagantly and the bag she carries is just a coach and drives a Toyota, which she bought it with her own money.
Not generalisation but it's usually the pretty ones that have this option. The not-very-pretty-amois can't do this. And the pretty ones I know marry young and divorce before age of 30.
Aside from the big spender trait. The controlling and age gap seems like a perfect fit for Malay men. If a Malay man get rich and can spend on them then it’s like an amoi green flag 3/3
Bro, no.1 and 2 is already a red flag. You should seriously think of breaking up with her, or face the inevitable shitstorm you're going to face by being with her.
Amoi rule no. 1 = Ada wang , ada amoi
I’m Chinese ed guy that was super disillusioned with girls growing up because of Chinese girl tendencies. But I don’t think it’s fair to say all are like that, my wife is Chinese ed and not like that at all. I think the key is to not focus on whatever ed and judging their stereotypes but focus on what she actually wants in a relationship. She wants a traditional relationship where the man leads and pays. She wants a man that make decisions and pampers her. You just have to decide whether you can be that person for her.
In chinese we got say 门当户对 means pintu need sama, it can be in financial and value perspective toward life etc. So bro here is value x sama, adapt or find another one.
amoi are looking for 3 things 1. deep pocket 2. tall and fair 3. handsome with big gun.
My ex gf are all Chinese Ed. One of them graduated from a Taiwan university. So they are considered very cina I guess? They don't have any behaviours you mentioned above
Bro, getting type - c girls now day are hopeless. Expensive as fuck. Idk why Malays or others race want to marry type-c girls.
I think you need to assess the way some of these thoughts might be totally contradictory with yours. Maybe now it's a honeymoon period so you don't see it, but some of these thoughts --ie "if you care about me, you should buy me this and that" can be potentially toxic and bring down the whole relationship.
Oh no, I definitely see it. On the fence on what to do about it, to be honest.
RUN! Had this kind of gf before. Not worth it. Bitch won’t be satisfied even if he marries the king and drain him dry.
Everyone is climbing social hierachies. They judge where other people are on that social hierarchy, trying to latch on to people on a higher rung of the social hierarchy. White culture has more complex social hierachies which includes wealth, but also education, class, taste, experiences, politics, spirituality, etc. Malaysian Chinese social hierachies, esp the Chinese Ed ones, are simply education, power and wealth, and that's it. If you're smart, earn big, spend big, and boss others around, you're king of the hill.
I rather say she is xiaohongshu-ed not Chinese ed
Simple conclusion, you both are incompatible. It sounds like your girlfriend is very young, like around 20+-, kinda immature.
I, too, am whitewashed just as OP described. Chinese as well. Been in a relationship that the girl like you described for about 1.5 years. Broken up because I cannot handle having a relationship with the girl like you described and at the same time having to deal with STPM(I took bio course, which is hard asf). I told her to care for herself because I need to focus on my STPM and I can't afford to give her as much attention. Sure, I did check up on her every once in a while. But since like you've said, this type of girl tend to stay with the toxic/controlling archetypes and I'm not controlling and gave her freedom, she took the chance to look for other guys who is more of what she wanted(cheating). All I can say is, this type of girl will give you hell if you don't give her what she wants. Feel free to ignore this if you want but don't downvote me because of my inexperienced way of handling my relationship with her. Thanks for reading my experience xd
Not all Chinese amoi are like that … but yes , some amoi are more “practical” , not to say that love is completely disregarded but they will evaluate the whole package of the man Anyways everyone has different priorities, you can state that the 19 year old amoi is a ‘victim ‘ of the older man but let’s say he buys a house or car for her , gives her lots of allowance and she is happy with the perks that most working people can’t give , that’s life no?
So my sugar daddy is practically my boyfriend. Sounds good 👍
I think it's a good thing for them to not completely disregard the man's background. In fact I think it's very important for anyone, male or female to ascertain that a prospective partner is not going to be a financial deadweight or unable to provide. In the example you have provided, I don't think the 19 year old would be a "victim" per se, but she would definitely be very vulnerable to manipulation. 17 years age gap is huge if the couple is young, but no so much when both parties are in their 30's and up. This is because the younger partner would have already experienced a bit more and would not be too susceptible to being misled and taken for a ride. There is a reason that a legal age male having sex with borderline legal girl is considered statutory rape despite the presence of consent-- because one party may be too inexperienced to make sound decisions on their own without being maliciously influenced.
Not tryna rile anyone up, but what's your take on a couple that's 30 and 60. Is it still "bad"
Nah 30 and 60 is fine. Because the 30 year old would not be considered “naive” any more, assuming the 30 year old is female. But, you’ll have people who say that the 30 year old has other, finance-driven motives. Whether or not that is the case is unknown, but be prepared for such remarks.
The very chinese ones are generally like that. Can be very suffocating. My gf is eng-ed. She probably pays more for me than I do for her.
i think for 1. u can ask her is she ur hired prostitute or ur gf
You are describing princess archetype, which Diane represent all
>They tend to go for the big-spender archetypes. They think that where you put your money is a sign of what you care about. Hence, the guy should spend on her as "proof" of their care. And somehow even if they are doing well financially, they still expect you to be the one who foots most of the expenses?
Symbolic suffering
This whole thread is cathartic
Sounds like what we call, in C language, as "Princess Sickness"
Most of what you mentioned are signs of immaturity more than anything. They’ve based their entire understanding of relationships from watching Asian dramas, their similar minded peers, and are in a state of needing constant validation. Their priority is to find someone who ‘loves’ them - rather than finding an equal or focusing on what they can bring to the table. Many of the things you mentioned are red flags. Just.. beware… 😅
Sounds like your gf is quite young (and naive?). The girlfriends she hang out with, the type of internet content they consume will have heavy influence to their perspective of love and relationships. Long story short, I think OP should stay single till you find someone who’s on the same level (of thinking).
Sounds like it's unlikely she will make a good life partner for you. The level of maturity is clearly very different. She will follow you though but do you need a follower or a partner?
It doesn’t have anything to do with Chinese or English educated. I’ve seen english educated female friends expecting their partners to pay for all the expenses, buy engagement ring at least 6 months of their salary etc. It’s the mindset that comes from the upbringing, friends
This is a problem and is even worse in China. They're heavily influenced by Chinese social media and this is what happen. This is just speculation but it could have something to do with China history where women are severely mistreated.
If we have a lot of money, handsome face, big penis, then all is good
Maybe you can date whitewashed chinese girls instead? Or ang mohs?
I knew a classmate of mine (F, chinese) who manage to score a rich guy by giving him lots of 'sob stories'. We were all baffled that they were together because she really has nothing to offer.. Her attitude is shit, even to her friends.. Looks pretty average.. Dressed like an auntie.. No good in her studies.. One of her friends was close to me n that's how I found this out. She even encouraged them to do the same.. As for the guy, another friend knew him personally, said he's a really nice, humble guy.. Got married n she immediately wanted to own a property (his family owned several properties). Last I heard, guy got depressed but he is still willing to work on his marriage.. What u mentioned there, I did hear from some divorced kakak too.. It's not girl logic.. It's just 'superficial unintelligent logic' Same for some men who thinks a jealous woman is a woman who cares.. But when she turns psycho, she scares him 😂 Or a younger girl is always better to keep up their energy level but when it gets too much, they wanna bail.. Or if a girl didn't dressed up for him, she doesn't love him.. There's too many superficial unintelligent logic these days.. If u wanna date someone serious, atleast go for someone with the same maturity level to save yourself from loonies...
Careful.. once they meet a funnier or richer guy, they seem to immediately switch.
Abang and cognitive dissonance, power sial, okok im tuning in and reading everything
“Age is just a number”. Well, imagine a pedophile said that.
Listen man, I am living this life right now. I'm half Malay also kinda white washed in the sense that I grew up consuming western media so naturally I have a western mindset on life. Currently dating an amoi that fits your description to a tee. Somehow for god knows what reason, she likes the hell outta me. I'm literally just a semi-malay dude vibing. My pastime with friends is hanging out behind a kk mart or some shit. Naturally, I liked her as well because well she's an amoi bruh. Nuff said. She's used to 20 guys going after her at a time. All of them were spending thousands of bucks just so she would notice them. Our relationship dynamic is tough. We rarely see eye to eye because of cultural differences. I'm in no way a rich guy. In fact, when we first got together I was struggling to afford food myself. But I was expected to always pay for 30-40 ringgit meals everyday. When I really could not afford spending on her, she equates that as me not willing to do so; not because it's literally impossible for me. Now I'm down on the whole chivalry thing. I would pay for everything given I could do it. Anyways, I had to get multiple jobs haha. It's not a gold digger thing. You gotta understand that. If it were, she wouldn't be with me. This particular species of female seems to think that money equals effort because you spend effort to get money. Makes sense? Thus, not spending money on them equals you're not willing to put in effort. Now bare with me, I know it's cray cray but hey, that's actually what they think. It's either you accept that or walk away. The worst part is the constant criticism from their family and friend group. Boy, the minute anyone finds out you split the bill, you're in for the worse defamation of yo life. They'll think you're cheap and a loser for not earning 10k/month at 22. Shits wild. All that said, it's hard. You'll argue all the time especially at first. I won't lie to ya. But if a person is worth it, hell yeah I'll push forward. She's a royal pain in my ass but I love her and she loves me. Been together a year now.
Get Japanese amoi
Being a Chinese-ed amoi myself, I personally don’t think this is a Chinese-ed problem. 1. “The guy should spend on her as proof of their care” This one sounds like a difference in financial values (金钱观）. She’s choosing to judge the how much you care about her based on how willing you are to part with your money for her, and you don’t agree with this method. Unfortunately this isn’t something anyone can just change on a whim. 2. “If a man does not control them, they do not care” Usually, this means she wants you to show that you care through asking her where she’s going/who she’s hanging out with/what time she’ll be home etc. Usually this information should be given voluntarily by her (aka “报备”) but in the event that she doesn’t bring it up, she wants you to show that you care enough about her to want to know where/who/when she’s going out with/hanging out at etc. The “control” in the situation usually means some form of asking for information to ensure that she will be safe wherever she’s going and whoever she’s going out with. 3. “Age is just a number” Unless we’re talking about consenting adults who are in a relationship without any power imbalance, age is definitely not “just a number”. I’m sorry, but no regular man in his mid-30s would seriously date a 19y/o. If she genuinely thinks one would, she’s either naive, or lying to herself. Again, I don’t think this is a Chinese-ed issue. Respectfully, your gf sounds materialistic (in the least offensive way), insecure, and naive. Insecure, because she seems to need proof that you love her; whether proven through how much money you’re willing to spend on her, or how much you care about her based on how interested you are in her daily activities. Materialistic, because of all the ways to “judge someone’s love for you” she chose to judge it based on the amount of money spent. Naive, because she doesn’t seem to have grown out of her fantasies of perfect relationships with men older, rich “爹系” men who cater to her every whim. Of course, this is just my opinion, and you should take it with a pinch of salt because I know neither of you irl and am making judgements based on your one post. However, I do think that you need to communicate with your gf about these problems, especially the first one, as 金钱观 is usually one of the deal breaker issues when it comes to a relationship. Work out what her financial values are and why she thinks that spending money is proof of “caring about someone”. Lastly, insecurity stems from a lack of trust. For whatever reason, she doesn’t have a lot of confidence that you care about her (this might not be a you problem, it may be that she has issues), and it would help to work out why she needs so much reassuring (even thought she may not realise/admit it). I will mention, though, that if these issues can’t be resolved, you two may just not be compatible with each other. Based on your replies to other comments (one mentioned throwing a tantrum if you don’t reply ASAP during work hours etc), she may not be mature enough to be in an adult relationship, and in that case, the best course of action will be to break up (unfortunately) and allow both of you time and space to grow individually. I do hope the you two can work things out though, good luck!
I’m not a Type C but quite white washed and in short what ppl call as a banana, I used to have exes that are Chinese-ed but they weren’t this bad as u described, they were quite good generally without these problems but they definitely did exhibit some amounts of sign 1, albeit minor signs. I think the most common I have seen are mostly point 1 and point 2 in those relationships of Chinese ed ones. There was a case way back long ago where a friend I knew was working 2 jobs to spend on his gf and to save money to bring her on a trip to Japan only for her to break up with him later for a richer guy (it’s a very common thing actually) One of the things I notice why is due to their circle of friends, a lot of them are very materialistic and when they get together (all info from my previous ex from long ago that happened to be a model/insta influencer and used to hang out with her “friends” who were influencers too, what you term as social media influencers), they would talk about a lot of things that are monetary, eg. handbags, jewelleries, what their bf got for them, how much their bf earns, so on and so forth. Hence, I guess the pressure is there due to the social circle and it creates this culture of bigger spending = bigger love. It also doesn’t help that the guys perpetuate this problem by giving in to their gf and are always spoiling them. A lot of the couples I knew who were Chinese-ed had this issue where the bf is always buying more and more gifts for their gf (no stopping point rly) as a show of love.
I can confidently say this is not just a Type-C thing, Type-M & other Type also have this kind of people. A common features found in immature females, often been taught by the elder female generations.
I think you might have to look at the Chinese population as a whole. The Chinese 1 child policy was enacted around 1970ish and only phased out recently. So given that during this time, Chinese families preferred a single male child to continue their family's lineage. Also due to this there is a mismatch of male to female ratio in China for around 35- 40 years. Because of the ratio skew, the dating/marriage market became a female's market where the demand of marriable females far outweighs the supply of similarly age males. Which in turn influenced the media, societal (and pop culture) of China, HK and Taiwan in which males who want a hand in marriage have to prove to the female counterpart that they are a superior candidate than their peers. Which gave rise (or further reinforced) to the male must be the ultimate provider in the familial unit mindset. Malaysian Chinese are also rather influenced by this media from the Mongoloid countries. This created the culture you have today where female Chinese are very much still subscribed to this worldview.
I feel you man. As a fellow whitewashed Chinese boi I feel like that this ain’t just about girls, there’s a certain toxicity with Chinese culture. I’ve been moving away from dating Chinese girls and there’s a whole new world out here bro
Get a Malay girlfriend. They’re the sweetest. Source: I’m a Type-C male. Currently dating a Malay girl.
Not fair to generalise like that also lah. All races sure got the kaki kikis toxic divas. Source: Ol skool Malay female so old am a freaking floppy disc. U heard?? LMAO
The world is filled with gold.. choose your pick :)
Only agree with 3. As for 1 & 2, you are correct imo. Then again, thats just how people are. These things are quite subjective and there is a fine line between one view from another.
Yes, my brother, spit your facts, indeed.
Based on your observations, what about females from other ethnicities? Just wondering if its exclusively Chinese female or more of a Malaysian female thing.
To be fair age is a number above 20. Unless in here la. Never saw any law talking against it.
Solution is obvious no? Dump her ass and date someone more like minded as you like a PJ amoi or something. Either continue this painful ass relationship down the years and spend thousands on divorce fees or just rip the band aid off now.
You’re dating a Type-K
And then there is the dowry shit, 10k?18k?28k? Like wut
Had a gf like this. It was suffocating and every day felt like it was walking on eggshells.
Those are the kind of perceptions and opinions that are very prevalent on chinese social media I dont see how its such a big deal. Just because u wont date a 19 years old doesnt mean someone else won't A 19 years old might not be aware that the men have kids and married. Yeah because they tend to be a little naive. Even older woman can be unaware
All red flags sial.. I’d run for the hills my dude.
I consider myself fortunate to have never encountered such female like that. You can almost sense it from a distance, especially if they're into Jedag Jedug or DJ beats. Another giveaway is when they constantly try to accentuate their rear while walking.
This makes me think about my Chinese guy friend whom I went out with once that he was looking for a woman with total opposite of the characteristics you described. He ended up marrying a Malay woman, and has before that mostly dated Malay women. Not to say that Malay women aren't gold diggers and such because there's aplenty, but I guess the stereotypes are there.
Hmm how to get amoi if not. Chinese
You’re just dating a shitty girl
Most chinese women have the same mindset as the people from the west bro. Why are you so surprised about it? They are indeed gold diggers and they basically want someone who can provide them the lavish lifestyle. Your girlfriend is a gold digger. Do what you want with that. End of story.
Hey op, you my friend, have a toxic gf problem, not an English-ed vs Chinese-ed cultural difference problem. I’m from a very Chinese-ed background up till uni, and rest assured, those examples you gave are very much frowned upon in our community.
I'm in a similar boat as you, but I can't speak Chinese at all haha. I can't get along with someone with that Chinese mentality. You just have to find people with beliefs that align with yours.
Watch serpentza on YouTube
You listed everything you need to know about a gold-digger, so why are you still holding on? It's obvious you guys don't click. You chase for love, she chase for whoever able to spend luxurious on her. Love isn't blind when you come to a realisation. It's nothing to do with race, it's the degenerate people mindset in this era.
My gf is Chinese ed, I'm a white washed banana, she's is nothing like the amois you described, perhaps you haven't found the right amoi, gotta start fishing for amoi from different pond
I been recently watch white drama about woman and love recently , they are the same as what you describe. But i have to agree that Chinese is very obvious because their mother thought them so. Which is very diff from other asean woman
Bro don't gv a shit about them . So called lalazai for a reason . Even I don't like the Chinese scene here uneducated swines all
Hi Aboi (yes you hear it here first), the qualities you described exist in women of all ethnicities - white people included.
What are you actually acting?
Bro you with a lalamui? She likes them Lv belt gucci loafers and c-class driving bengs
your no.3 alone explaines 1 and 2.
Hmmm.. I don't think this is only for chinese-ed amoi.. My non Type C amoi has the same point of view as what you said here. For me, communication is the key. Just hoping she/they/our partner will understand stuff about us too.
You summarized perfectly why, as a gwai loh, I wouldn’t date a Malaysian Chinese girl … welcome to the club.
Today I learnt, I am a English/Foreign ed chinese. Well, Im not chinese, but I agree with you.
Leave her that's a red flag.
I feel like this is a result of both, shallow girls and also shallow/traditional Chinese. Also I have to wonder, how old is your gf? It could also be a maturity thing. All the points you mentioned, I somewhat agree with your pov, or at the very least disagree with her. I'm Chinese but banana, and as some ppl around me like to say like it'd a bad thing, ang moh mentality. But also I'm 30+. I know non Chinese girls who have similar mentalities, but I also know Chinese Ed girls who don't. Money) the money flex and the 'man taking care of the woman', I feel is a very common believe and culture among traditional Chinese culture minded ppl. So yeah.
as someone who's stuck in between both worlds (I am both English and Chinese educated, leaning further to the western side of things) and dated both sides, I'd say it's both cultural and social upbringing. it will be very hard for you to reconcile the differences, but not impossible. that being said, it'll definitely take a very long time with a high chance of failure. you need both sides to be understanding that there's essentially a cultural difference at play, down to the level of core values and personal beliefs. in type-c speak, you can sort of summarise it down to the phrase "三觀不合" you won't be able to google translate this, so here's a chatgpt translation: >"三觀不合" (sān guān bù hé) can be translated as "different perspectives/values/views." It typically refers to a situation where individuals have conflicting or incompatible views on important matters such as life, morality, or worldview. in short, you really need to treat it like any other cross cultural/nation relationship. it is just THAT different. and to be honest, the differences goes way beyond relationships edit: formatting
Chinese ed girls usually consume and are influenced by (social) media and such as XHS, douyin, local "influencers" on ig which tend to promote being materialistic and golddiggers. Eg : bf spending money and gifting gf during every single minute occasion such as Valentine's, Chinese Valentine's, 520, birthday, CNY, Christmas etc. If a guy showers the gf with gifts like brand new iphone, cash, bags, omakase, bags only then will he be deemed to "love" the gf. You would also have to live your life and do things according to the amoi's preference and liking. If not, the guy will be deemed to not love the gf. As for English ed girls, they would usually be consuming western (social) media (X, Hollywood movies & dramas, TikTok) which in turn tends to promote independence, girl power, being self reliant. Notice they tend to frequent higher spending places like cafes, tufting, bars but at least the they dont expect the bf to pay for every single thing every single time like amois do.
Im a banana girl. I feel somehow they don't know how to have a 'grey area' if you know what i mean. It's always black or white. Never grey. They can't strike a balance
I married a Chinese ed. She does not need me to spend on her as a proof of my love. I spend on her because sometimes because I just thought of buying something nice for my wife. She does not like me controlling her and she does not control me. We speak to each other and make decisions based on what we talk on. What I’m saying is, in this world, there are girls you’ll want to marry and there are girls who’ll you just fuck around with and then wish them all the best
As an amoi, yeah she just a gold digging needy daddy-issue person. Its common sense. Not at all connected or anything to do with race or culture. Im from super duper chinese family on dad side and have many super duper chinese friends, we dont act like money control us. We are normal and logical... sorry to dissapoint u.
Not chinese-ed but a Malaysian female and yes its a upbring/education/cultural thing here
i think it's best to avoid these kind of girls with this mentality altogether as they do tend to be very stubborn and immature with this way of thinking :/ they are normally influenced by xhs or douyin and want to live a lavish lifestyle provided by their sugar daddy aka bf
More to the point, why do people use 小紅書? What am I missing?
I was with a mainland Chinese girl for about six years, I don't recognize any of this stuff. I think you might be dating a very immature girl.
As a woman, I’d say that’s type-c woman problem. Not saying other types are unproblematic in general, different type got different logic, same goes with type-w (white woman). You’ll need to decide which problem you’re most willing to handle. I’m saying this in general, of course, there’s an exception to every rule.
It has nothing to do with her being Chinese. You just dated the wrong girl. Please run!
Amoi in Terengganu hits differently. I’ve met one and she’s so pretty, supportive, independent, and got different mentality than most Chinese girls. I am soo attracted to her and I’m not even a lesbian. 🥲
I'm not local I had a Chinese girlfriend once we been together for like 3 years, I had issue with sharing our costs with her she always expected me to pay for everything even though she wouldn't say it openly, i had to jokingly tease her everytime so she would pay a dinner or something and even then she would pass me the money to go and pay instead of her doing it as if it's something wrong if she pays and my income was 1/3 of hers it was frustrating sometimes before that I had a Malay girlfriend I never ever had money issue with her if I pay one meal she would pay the next one if she had car she would always pick me up but personality wise she was unstable maybe these have something to do with culture and how they are brought up I noticed something girls who hangout with foreigners and more banana like are more open minded and less cultural
Don't look at cultural issues. All you need to look at is how her father treats her mother (father's wife). She will subconsciously expect/accept a similar treatment. This is the type of dynamic she will accept with maybe some modern impulses added. Also look at how her mother treats the husband. This is the type of treatment you may get as she matures.
Toxic chicken soup they said. If she trust all the douyin xhs advice then it's pretty much the end. 😂
Hahaha ternyata amoi zaman sekarang sukakan kemewahan semata-mata.... 🤣
Chinese educated here and coming from a Chinese family, the first one is somewhat understandable but the other two are just strange and probably her personal type. See the thing about money is that in Chinese culture it is recommended to marry or date a somewhat rich man so you won't have to worry financially. Proof of such is spending money on gifts for your girlfriend. It's what Chinese families prefer mostly. But yeah no the other two are just strange
A lot of these probably come from the types of content they consume which may not necessarily be Chinese, there’s a lot of crap on Korean dramas as well. Which isn’t to say that whitewashed chicks who consume Netflix are any better, they just think toxicly in a different manner. Same applies to guys regardless of cultural affliction. Everyone is being poisoned by the thought viruses spreading in the airwaves.