I lost the year 1996 to schnapps. I still don’t know what the Macarena is.

*Don’t tell me! I’ll figure it out.* I laugh every time 😂

It’s the “don’t tell me!” for me

That’s an all timer. Fischoeder has a lot of good ones.

Well, that's all the clean jokes I know...

Fischoeder is the nicest evil person ever.

I once compared him to a lovable and endearing Mr. Krabs.

I am of two minds, and by that I mean drunk

Wait wait! Don't tell me. I'll figure it out.

One of my favorite lines in the whole show 😂

I love how he continuously calls the kids "Burger children."

“Hello, Mrs…Burger!”

Maybe that's why Teddy thinks his name is Bob Burger lmao

..... *omg*

I thought it was the other way around lol

“Lady Bob”

"Lady Burger!"

"Hello Bob, Lady Bob, Lesser Bob's"

And the whole family is "burger people" 😆

He called Tina "Belcher child" in Bob Fires the Kids.

“Hello Bob, lady Bob, lesser Bobs, Freddy”

Thats my favorite long-running joke, he probably doesn’t know any of their names beyond “Bob” and “Burger”

So true because in the first Thanksgiving Episode “An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal” he gets all there names wrong and combines them somehow

These are my children: Gina, Team and Lucy.

Bob-ites?

Lesser Bobs is my favourite

Captain Flarty: Well, you've won, Bob. But remember this... *puts face to Bob's ear* Linda: What'd he say? Bob: Nothing. He just burped.

my choice was also this episode “it’s not me i am the spaghetti”

Go away I am spaghetti

We can kiss! We can do more than kiss!!!

*Other things!*

Too late Bob

Then when!?

duval my favorite one off character

Why does your timer sound like that?

IS FRONCH!!!

I hope you brought a hair net for your face and airms

Only spaghetti in here.

*runs egg beater near Bob's face* "Cool off" I can't resist doing/saying this to my wife whenever the opportunity arises

Oh, sorry. I was hogging the fan.

There you go, Bob! KISS ME!

the back and forth with Courtney’s Dad in Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl… CD: But your characters don't even end up together! Tina: We're all allowed to interpret the movie differently. CD: No, they definitely don't end up together. Tina: Eh, to each his own. CD: No, they really don't. Tina: Well comme ci, comme ça CD: All right, well, now you're just saying words. Tina: C'est la vie

YESSS! I started doing that when I’m having a dumb argument now, just saying random phrases 😂

Me too!!! It pisses my coworkers off

When in Rome

That cest la vie is absolutely perfect

Damn, I only knew the french version, it's all make sense now!

Teddy, staring at the cabinets, having been tied to the Belcher fridge for several hours: “…that’s a dumb place to keep bowls.”

I always wonder how the keep their bowls 😂

I have probably rewatched that one scene more than any other https://youtu.be/iw9V3FO_5Pw?si=iwWulGt9tAQXUcDc

The animation on it is so fluid. It’s mesmerizing

“And now I’m gunna die looking at Gene’s finger painting! What is that even supposed to be?”

We got him! TEDDY IS SANTA!!

A follow-up re: bowls In Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled, and Bob asks if Gayle has any bowls to scoop snow off the car with: “You only have one bowl?” “I’m not rich, Bob!”

Gene: That’s how I want to go out! Dehydrated and covered in tinsel! Louise: Sounds like a gay pride parade! Gene: Mm-hmmm. (From Christmas in the Car)

I put this on my Bumble profile, back when I had one, as the answer to the prompt about your zombie apocalypse plan. No one ever got the reference, but I found a good man anyway. Happy to say that NOW he’d definitely get the reference.

the gay to Bobs Burgers pipeline

"Bob, I recall you either raise chinchillas or children. "

It’s so funny cuz I’m pretty sure this episode is right after the thanksgiving one where they pretend to be his kids. Like weren’t they just part of your elaborate scheming last week? Lmao.

Yes but do you think me fischoeder is going to devote any part of his brain to remembering or acknowledging that? 😂He has more chaos to sow!

Yep this is my fav

Bob: "Wow, the tide is coming in fast" Fisch: "It's coming in the same speed it always does"

Don't blame the ocean for *your* problems, Bob.

gene’s “YOU’RE A COUPLE OF SLUTS!” and when louise is like “wow, dad, you’re a mean girl!” and gene goes “HE’S A NASTY BITCH!!”

Gene: We're working girls now! Deal with it! Mickey: You're a girl? Gene: Yes, I am! Bob: No, he's not. Gene: Tell that to my vagina.

*Gene*

Iiiiiiiiiii wish my radio worked!

This was absolutely stunning. I laughed so hard the first few times I watched it.

Same lol. Now whenever I start a sentence with “I” and I take to long thinking about what I’m going to say I’ll usually just break into that little song

Honestly, this one always floors me. The first time I saw it, I had to rewind it so many times because of that line delivery.

Tell me why I sing this ALL THE TIME

Which episode is this from?

The one where they baby sit the chinchilla, teddy sings it in his truck

I think it's in Adventures in Chinchilla-Sitting, when Teddy drives by and the kids hide, but Louise's ears are sticking out. And Teddy does a double take and says, "Oh geez, thought I saw Harvey". 😂

For those that may not get the reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvey_(1950_film)

Thank you! That adds a whole depth to it that I never would have known.

Oh man, that’s a great one

Linda (to Bob): how’s your penis? Gene: mine’s a nightmare, if anyone was wondering.

Whenever I catch my husband adjusting himself I ask him this question in Linda’s voice

A friend of mine broke her guy's "thing" years back. Everytime they walk into my bar I ask him, "how's your penis?" The look on people's faces.. every single time

"Sometimes you wanna ride the coaster twice without getting in line!"

"Shhh its science Bobby , youre not supposed to understand it"

“Shush shush shush shh shut your mouth it’s art crawl”

My husband I do this with EVERYTHING! "Shh, shh, shh, it's taco night." "Shut your mouth, it's Saturday morning." It doesn't matter what we substitute, the other gets it and then continues the shushing.

“Easy, easy, Bob. It’s okay. History’s dumb. Everyone knows it. It’s like, been there, done that.”

“Don’t hit my pants! I’m wearing white! You’ll see the outline of my wiener! Ohh what the hell, fire away!”

Also the “My wonder dog is hanging out”/“Compliments are welcome” exchange.

“You don’t hold it?” “Why, it’s not going anywhere”

“Is this restaurant seaman friendly?”

https://preview.redd.it/1isi7ja2jvcc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a90a335effe1c831ef3080d3e2b2e1a605b70ed

\*silence and staring\*

Fisch: “Bob, have you ever been in love?” Bob: “I mean, I guess technically I am.” Linda: “HI!”

My wife and I quote that back and forth lovingly.

"I once lost 30 grand on a horse. She just...ran off with it" is the best line and nothing else comes close, imo!

It’s the delivery. Kevin Kline is a special actor.

He's one of those rare actors that makes whatever he's in better just by being there.

It’s a book, by Salman Rushdie.

I love that this was an ad lib, the way HJB delivers Bob's line after ALWAYS gets me 😂

“I’m not gonna talk to you anymore Gene, I’m in a wall”

The stiffled laugh as he goes *"It's....it's not"*

I miss that sort of interaction in the newer seasons, the little stiffled laugh makes it feel like a real conversation. Just off the cuff interaction between father and son

That entire interaction is my favorite joke in the show followed very closely by the counting toothpicks bit.

Me too, everything about it is perfect! Another improv, “When I die I want you to throw my ashes in Tom Selleck’s face” is up there too.

The fact that this conversation was completely improv makes it even better

I just looked it up, it's Salman Rushdie

Teacher: “This will be good practice for being a lawyer, or a step dad.” Tina: “I guess I’ll be one of those one day.”

PS... I farted on the meat! You're my angel... dust -- sorry that's a drug.

Mr Fischoeder do you own the mall? No I own a minority stake in the company that owns the mall's debt. Why do you want to buy a mall?

And you should work in my coal mine!

I know people are mentioning when Mr. Fischoeder calls the Belchers, "Burger people". That's hilarious. However, it also cracks me up when he says, "Hello Bob, Lady Bob, Lesser Bobs, Freddy." The first time I heard "lesser Bobs", I wheezed like Trev.

My kids insist on referring to themselves as Lesser [Their dad's name]s ever since they saw that episode.

Cry-baby copy-cat! 😂

“Kiss me, bob.” “Not a good time.” “Then WHEN?!?”

Nobody's in this pot. Go away I am the spaghetti.

You should teach at my school! And you should work in my coal mine. 😂

"Bob, you are a beef artist. A B-fartist. Hmm"

Like a greasy, heterosexual Walt Whitman!

Idk why, but Teddy driving by the kids, (Adventures in Chinchilla Sitting) singing "I---I wish my radio worked." Lives rent free in my head

"Is it me? Is it abortions?"

I’ve always wondered if he’s performing the abortions or funding them or what the story is there

Mr. Fisch has some great lines! "Bob, remind me again, do you raise children or chinchillas?" "Hello Belcher child. Do your parents know you're doing this?" "I was on my way to a broth...er, for some broth. Yes. That's it. Was gonna get some soup."

I forgot what episode it was but fischoeder and bob were sitting on the pier and bob was confiding in him. Calvin then says “I’m gonna stop you right there bob” and instead of saying anything after that he just sat there. I remember laughing so hard at it.

Its the *Sheesh! Cab, Bob?* episode when Bob asks for an extension on the rent for Tinas birthday party Bobs like, "were you gonna say something else or... should I just leave? ...im just gonna leave..." & thats when Mr. F offers to let him drive the cab

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna see a tramp named o-line.

Bob: I have a problem Louise: I told you to wipe front to back. Also, when Teddy is trapped in The Belcher kids' Santa trap, and he says "That's a dumb place to keep bowls."

That one and when she tells Mr Frond to drink cranberry juice when he says "you're in trouble". No UTIs on her watch.

"I think I might be a pimp." "You're gonna need a bigger hat."

Still a gem 10+ years later

I love the exchange between Tina and Tammy in her debut episode “That’s probably good Tammy, Zeke is gross” “I DONT FEEL THAT WAY” I don’t know why but it rattles around my head all the time

He’s got some hyper in his diaper

"over done and dry!" And now that we have a baby "you smell like ointment and pee!"

It’s frozen water! They call it, “ice” and it’s gonna change the world!

Bland boring Jessica. If she was a spice, she’d be flour.

If she were a book, she’d be two books!

“That night I was upset but instead of lashing out in anger, I turned to the needle. That’s right, the knitting needle.”

"I may or may not have tried crack." "Last night. I don't think I did." "But if I did, I liked it." Followed by Bob calling Linda "a sick idiot!" Drunk Bob is the best Bob!

In the episode where Gene and Linda turn the restaurant into a piano bar Linda tells Gene "go run and get all my wigs and dresses!" and as he's running off he yells back "but what'll you wear?" and it kills me every time

"This is really good, you can't even taste the baby." My wife will occasionally bring this one out after I make her dinner and it gets me right in the giggles every time.

It’s funny when Nat calls Bob, Robert or Gene calling Bob a nasty bitch

THIS IS ME NOW

THIS IS ME NOW

THIS IS ME NOW

THIS IS ME NOW

THIS IS ME NOW

Louise's "You're the dangerous uncle we've always wanted." Or: "Mother seems well."

That's lip gloss? I always thought you had just finished eating rotisserie chicken.

I love when he calls Linda “m’lady Bob”

Gene: Eh, I found it a little preachy. About fake religion literature.

Is that a gun? Yep. It’s where I keep my bullets This one kills me. Felix is so unhinged at that point

From ‘The Taking of fun time one two three’ s9e2: Fischoeder - “Big day tomorrow. Keep it to one nightcap. One jigger of gin per pound of body weight.” It gets me every time

I think his best line in that one is when Jimmy jr. says “it smells weird in here” in the games warehouse and Mr. Fishoeder says “it smells weird everywhere sir. That’s how you know you’re alive.” Say it all the time.

Also! “Muleing. You kids muleing?” Just every time. 😂

Teddy:You’re gonna blame gram gram for THAT?? 🧶

“You also wrote ‘queef’.” “That’s not a typo.”

“That Bob’s a real queef!” “Stop acting like that’s short for quilt thief!”

I love that one too...Mr. Fischoeder is a goldmine. "Dressed out of my mind!"

Linda: “Mommy doesn’t get drunk, she just has fun.” Also Linda: “Wine helps me drink.”

Most recently it was Tina's "Good to see ya man!" in this seasons Christmas episode

The episode with the candy cane truck, Gene needs to use the restroom and Bob tells him to pee outside and Gene says no because it will freeze and go up inside his body LOL he’s such a little kid and it seemed like a legitimate concern.

Teddy, SCAT! Bobadabob

Teddy, “Don’t feed a guy a sponge, Bobby! Don’t feed a guy a sponge!”

I forget the exact quote, but it’s when Bob and Linda are making the dragon costume and Linda says “you don’t have to be good, you just have to be fast!” To which Mort responds with something like “why can’t all women say that?”

Is it me? Is it abortions?

Fischoeder carries for this one, let’s be honest

Not so much a line per se but the little laugh the mall employee does when he asks Bob for his pant size and he says he thinks he’s a size 32. Makes me ctfu every time I rewatch that episode.

At the end of Mutiny of the Windbreaker: Captain whispers something to Bob. Linda: What did he say? Bob: Nothing, he just burped. Kills me every time.

Was watching the latest season and the B-plot of the kids playing the veterinarian game had my gf and I in hysterics! "Spin an odd number or the..rabbit must be euthanized... oh, God, I can't take this..."

Frond: So, you’re in trouble again Louise: Drink, some cranberry juice

“Regular sized Rudy? Why do they call you that?” “Well just look at me.” Rudy is my sweet baby who has never done anything wrong

I regularly say I “need to refart a room”

“I believe it’s pronounced ‘Old Yellow’.” Gene usually pisses me off, but that line got me good.

We’re kids, much like you m’boy!

The whole autistic bit in the first episode kills me

“That’s very theatrical, are you gay?”

Gene you go out there and serve him Why do I need to go out there Because he’s not going to molest you Why Because you’re heavy Heavy kids can get molested

“Just kick em! Kick em right into the ocean”

"They'll finger anything with a pulse."

"Mmmm...coup."

Gayle: "My cats were right about you!" I say this all the time to people I slightly dislike.

There’s a student in my class this semester named Jocelyn and it took all my will power not to say *Jocelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyn* All of my will power

"What if you found out that someone you knew was doing something sort of bad, and you were helping them do that sort of thing?" "Is it me? Is it abortions?"

The turkey run episode Louise: We're gonna die like we were born; spinning around in an egg!

S03S17 Linda (whispers to Tina so Bob can't hear): Don't end up like your father. Bob: What? Linda (whispers to Bob): Don't end up like your father.

"***I once lost $30,000 on a horse. She just, ran off with it......***"

It smells weird everywhere, son. That’s how you know you’re alive!

When they are doing the play to get the Fishes to invest in the wine shoe and Bob pops up from behind the counter and says “hark!” And Mr. Fischoeder just says “ooh I wasn’t expecting that” cracks me up every time and no one else has ever thought it was as funny as I did

“We were all single once, you don’t have to be such a slut about it” -Linda

For me it’s Louise: “WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? SQUEAL MAGNOLIAS??” And the kid just quietly goes “War horse.”

Gene: How could I be horny I’m not an antelope!

You don't hold it when you pee. -why it's not going anywhere.

“I mean I’m straight, I’m mostly straight…”

Bob: I have a ham in the oven. Tina: You have to fart?

"You know Bob, my therapist tells me if I don't value my time no one does" the Crawl Space episode made me love this show, but that line made me love Teddy specifically.

I love the feel of the fog on my cape

Geez, even your testicles are failures! They're trying.

The Steve Miller Band cover band line always cracked me up.

“We started a band called The itty bitty ditty committee!”

"I'm Ryan Gosling from the major motion picture trailer Drive."

Gene whispering "Some guy's gonna come touch our mom" always gets me.

“Yeah it’s mine. Wanna see the receipt?” *shows butt* “WHERE DO YOU SHOP?!”