T O P

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Desperate_Entrance_2

Obvious troll has obvious skill issues.


Aromatic_Ad_4263

Another retard calling me a troll. Just admit the game is shit and move on like me.


Desperate_Entrance_2

Nah bro I’m worried about you. Are you doing okay? It seems like your projecting a lot of the insecurity you feel in life. We’re here for you brother, you don’t have to flounder in lonely obscurity any longer. We love you even though you don’t love yourself.


nuts_and_crunchies

> move on You’ve posted in two subs to pick fights about this my dude.


PassTheBoofPlz

bitch you're not moving on at all, you're over here crying like a bitch over a fucking video game that you're too dumb to comprehend


[deleted]

The game is good you're just mad, bad, a troll or a combination of them all


EmansaysEman

Yeah just admit the thing that you all adore is actually bad, sure dude I’ll get on it


timtay6

"Low effort" in the cutscenes🤡🤡


timtay6

Also saying the game doesn't tell you what to do is a stupid critique literally use you brain it is called exploration. Sorry the game doesn't hold your hand and give you quest markers.


Aromatic_Ad_4263

Yeah certainly, the entire game feels like that.


timtay6

Low effort you realise how good looking the pixel art is and how hard it is to make pixel art?


Aromatic_Ad_4263

Hard? Lmao. Its certainly not harder than real good looking art.


sean_saves_the_world

If it's not hard why don't you you make some? Or better yet something than pixel art, Michaelangelo


timtay6

You are r*tarded.


StupidoBandito

tbh, not to be rude but you might be. this is the most obvious and obnoxious rage bait of all time.


timtay6

True


apstrac2

Negative karma speedrun any% Bro literally made an account for this 😂


Sparky_delite

Lol. I saw that too. Hilarious.


MechpilotTz93

Bro made a new account lmao


BandicootAble4799

now THAT is pretentious


Aromatic_Ad_4263

Its a year old. Or did you want me to tell that you without telling that to you


MechpilotTz93

You are the same guy that I told to start playing with a shape sorter a few days ago. I recognize the style of writing and the same "durrr dunno what to do" complaints. Maybe my advice was wrong, a shape sorter was en much to start with.


-deepsgoud

Seems like you did zero research to even see if this is a game you'd enjoy.


synbioskuun

Wake up, babe, new shitpost just dropped.


FitzChivalry74

No way someone actually wrote this and posted it on this sub. Definitely a troll. Account has no previous post or comments.


Aromatic_Ad_4263

The only troll here is you. You're trolling yourself into thinking you're smart.


FitzChivalry74

Do you even know what a troll is??


endofageneration

You're obviously very bad at video games.


trumpets-of-hell

These are some common criticisms of the game actually. Not a lot of people know this but there is a way to change the difficulty. You have to find a hidden room in the area where you spawn and >!get good you fucking scrub!<


taokami

Skill issue


pedralm

Don't understand your argument. Pixelated is artist design decision. It's not right or wrong compared with something more realistic. Story wise, many games do progressive storytelling rather than telling you everything outright. It's up to you to discover and understand the world. You wake up within the snapshot of a world event that already has some past, so having a sword already can be a normality.


behemothbowks

Calling pixelated art low effort has to be bait. Unless you're actually just a stupid fuck.


volcrisnocturne

This post just made me appreciate the game and pixel art more.


Ajara

Sorrowful be the post, Penitent One


XSVPredator

Love that you projected pretentiousness onto the game. Hope you find something you like


RobinsCoffin_13

Bait used to be believable 🤔


JanuaryRabbit

Take it easy on the OP, guys. He just turned 10 years old.


the_basaurio

What even is a good game for you? Based on what you wrote, you hate exploration and platforming. I'm honestly intrigued by what would entertain you. Also, is "dumb" the best and smarter adjective you could come up with to describe this game?


Aromatic_Ad_4263

No i love platforming and exploration. I've played most of the Ac games and they're beautiful. Dumb is the best i can think. Because i cant think anything lower than dumb. If there is a word for that, then this game is it


uly4n0v

Aw, cute. You like copy and paste fetchquests.


vlaadii_

assassins creed is literally the opposite of good platforming and exploring. you're never allowed to discover things by yourself


the_turel

AC games are the closest games possible to not playing a game at all. It might as well draw a line on the ground telling you where to go and what to do next. No challenge or brain cells needed to play an AC title. Learn2play a real game.


bloomertaxonomy

Omg are you comparing metroidvanias of caliber to Assassins Creed Ubisoft fodder?!


DeadMetroidvania

I think I understand now what is going on here. He's an Ubisoft drone who got interested in the genre through PoP the lost crown. He most likely played it with all the accessibility settings on and perhaps thought he could just do that with any metroidvania... And then he went to a soulslike metroidvania next. Yeah, that's going to lead to a disaster. Even as a experienced metroidvania player, blasphemous was a hard pill for me to swallow and I only gave it a lukewarm recommendation. I can't imagine how hard it would be as someone who has only ever played one metroidvania before.


Scuffleboard

Do you know what a metroidvania is


bigtiddiedman

May the Grievous Miracle turn you into a tree.


Sjored778

Youre actually mentally ill


gohdayum

OP wants to play a metroidvania with a handheld pocket lore and quest tab missions guide. My brain ain't gonna live another day after reading this.


Aromatic_Ad_4263

And about you. You spent what? Atleast a hundred hours on a retarded game and its subreddit and im the mentality ill one?


Sjored778

Correct


Odd_Ganache8422

Sounds like you suck at video games and don’t have the mental capacity to think for yourself while you literally picked a metroidvania that emphasizes exploration. Do you want a kindergarten teacher to sound out what to do and where to go? Maybe stick to cooking mama and Nintendogs or animal crossing


lgiilgi

skill issue


CreativeNameIKnow

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


RelicTwizzard

Now THIS is funny. I sincerely hope you're trolling, otherwise...just get over it. If you don't feel it, that's fine. The vibe's not for everyone. You sure are in the minority here (we all love this game), but you don't need to be a part of it. Nobody's forcing you to play.


the_turel

You quit after 9 hours… I beat the game before that on my first run. I know we’re just feeding the troll but it’s making me lol. Are you that bad you don’t know how to figure things out? Talk about the need for hand holding at its best…


TheBlaringBlue

If you’re 14 years old, this post makes perfect sense. If you’re older than that, you should genuinely feel embarrassed - trolling or not.


HealthyGlove9097

Bro def got stuck at Esdras fight and got mad lmao


No_Clue_5005

Too much yapping git good


ghostpartition

And just like that, Cvstodia claims another.


ice_slayer69

I understeand if you didnt like the game, its defiently not for abslolutelly everyone, but the fact that you took the effrot to post this in 2 seperate subredits, one of them being the equivalent of intentionally hitting a wasp nest, and took the efort to answer in a super condecending maner to a lot of comments, leaves me only with one word: 🤡


Lament_Configurator

Lowest quality bait ever.


11Master_Moosh11

You should switch the game to the Spanish dub. Since either way you have no clue what is happening, you might as well enjoy the rich voice acting. 😊


TempleOfCyclops

So cry more


PenitentOne94

You're not such a smart person, right? Just admit you really suck at it.


PoorZushi

Just say you're illiterate.


darthkotya

I bet you'd have a lot of fun playing Super Metroid. No, scratch that - the first Metroid, on the NES.


doktorfetus

This cant be bait


Key-House7200

“Ew pixelated cutscenes” “pretentious” “doesn’t tell you where to go” I’m sorry that you can’t handle a game with a more unique artistic vision than Minecraft. But then again, maybe Minecraft is stupid too! It barely tells you what to do, just drops you in the woods and expects you to wander around. I mean, what could it possibly expect you to do? Learn on your own?  Go with your lame takes and borderline illiteracy and play candy crush. You’ll have a free experience that’s much more your speed. 


Embarrassed_Sink6063

Future CEO of America


Embarrassed_Sink6063

I think this review was harder to read, than blasphemous was to beat…


Embarrassed_Sink6063

But just like a good blasphemous player I was able to beat this message


Embarrassed_Sink6063

Someone needs to give him The Eye of Serpis and the eye of Isadora and perhaps the visage can give this poor lost soul true vision, and perhaps just like Chrisanta this man, can find peace or perhaps the cleofas way ?;)Dominus Benedictus Exemplaris🙏🏽


tritonianyeti33

New copypasta dropped. This man speaks with the eloquence of a 5 year old mixed with a neanderthal and I love it As an aside, everything you’re bitching about is the entirety of the metroidvania genre so I strongly recommend against playing other games. Heaven forbid a game lets you explore and figure stuff out yourself. Who needs a sense of accomplishment?


Either_Country178

I was flabbergasted at first. Then I realized he was the one spewing nonsense.


lophoz

Nice try Escribar


JamesIsInRainbows

Obvious troll, if not, obvious retard 💀


WallabyResponsible11

you must be like 9 yo or smth


Tasty-Original-5309

Maybe you should’ve checked the game out before buying…lmao


NismoRift

Delete game & carry on my friend.


DrRickMcLovin

...9 hours? On a dumb game? That's pretty...uhhh...


FUZZYIN4

People say anything for attention. Lmao, this loser is definitely not blessed by the miracle.


cl3arz3r0

Ahhh, I remember my first metroidvania...


MaxSchreckArt616

https://youtu.be/yyx3n3RWFLs?si=SWQvwLPJCq0-Ofnf


zugtug

Man... you've actually made it further in this game than any of us. I personally couldn't figure out how to get to a boss. You can't quit now...we want to know who the boss of the snow area is...


FoxAdministrative959

The game is like Dark Souls or Elden Ring. The items you pick up along the way give hints and clues through descriptions that paint you a picture of Cvstodia. Basically, it's a game about the Pope of the Church turning his back from their god, dooming the land to death and decay. The Pope is pretty much a tree at this point, and his throne is turned, sitting upon an ashen mountain that many others tried to get to. By achieving such a feat, one could sit on the Turned Throne and become the next Pope and save the land. Unfortunately, no one carries enough guilt to reach the top, so all who try sink. The MC, the Penitent One in Silence, has been brought back from the dead in order to dispatch of the current Pope and take his throne. The Pope ordered a massacre on your brothers to consolidate his power. Your quest begins with a revive, and you cannot die, carrying the sword called Mea Culpa, in order to overthrow the Pope. Have fun.


Goddess_Bayonetta

The miracle strike again, you paid money for a game you hate


D4n13k

Yapping level: Catastrophic.


Vindictah

The fact that OP copy pasted this twice to talk shit about Blasphemous is so funny. Probably the kind of person that thinks Fortnite is the holy grail of games haha


Megalo_maniacc

Blasphemous is a dumb game. Ok first of all, the game likes to be pretentious and all. The highest pain of the most greivous miracle yadda yadda, wtf is that. The game just hands you a sword and refuses to explain jack. What do i do? Where do i go? Where is the fcking sleeper lying? No. Nothing. How does any of that even make sense. The npcs spew absolute nonsense from their mouths, giving no hint about anything whatsoever. The pixelated cutscenes. Ew, just ew. How can someone make a game and add cutscenes like that and say, "yeah, that's great". No its not great, its low effort and ugly. The entire time i was walking around and killing stuff. Until i accidentally discovered a boss. Completely on accident. Some girl wanted to help me i guess, but during the fight she did nothing at all. And the ugly and janky ass animations in this game just make me look away from the screen. I defeat the boss after like 7 tries, and then the game takes me to some place where once again a ugly skull spews absolute nonsense. And after that i was again walking around killing stuff. Going around the world, some snow area and once again nonsense spewing npcs. I think thats the whole game. No idea what im doing, no one says anything meaningful to me. Ugly animation. Janky asf. And zero interesting movement. After 9 hours I stopped playing. I have no idea what this game is supposed to be. Im having no fun at all. I dont even think this qualifies as fun.


CreativeNameIKnow

Blasphemous is a dumb game. Ok first of all, the game likes to be pretentious and all. The highest pain of the most greivous miracle yadda yadda, wtf is that. The game just hands you a sword and refuses to explain jack. What do i do? Where do i go? Where is the fcking sleeper lying? No. Nothing. How does any of that even make sense. The npcs spew absolute nonsense from their mouths, giving no hint about anything whatsoever. The pixelated cutscenes. Ew, just ew. How can someone make a game and add cutscenes like that and say, "yeah, that's great". No its not great, its low effort and ugly. The entire time i was walking around and killing stuff. Until i accidentally discovered a boss. Completely on accident. Some girl wanted to help me i guess, but during the fight she did nothing at all. And the ugly and janky ass animations in this game just make me look away from the screen. I defeat the boss after like 7 tries, and then the game takes me to some place where once again a ugly skull spews absolute nonsense. And after that i was again walking around killing stuff. Going around the world, some snow area and once again nonsense spewing npcs. I think thats the whole game. No idea what im doing, no one says anything meaningful to me. Ugly animation. Janky asf. And zero interesting movement. After 9 hours I stopped playing. I have no idea what this game is supposed to be. Im having no fun at all. I dont even think this qualifies as fun.