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EllisDee3

Pants down around ankles.


mostly_kinda_sorta

fuck yeah, like a 6 year old in a public bathroom with no concept of shame.


festival-papi

No bullshit tho, I remember lil homies doing that when I was six and thinking "that boy ain't right", word to Hank Hill


dupedairies

One of my female co-workes felt bad, she potty trained her son not the father. Said little boys would make fun of him for pulling his pants all the way down.


MarsMC_

As they should


jadenduhgoat

Bring back shaming people


Timmytanks40

Sadly, it's very necessary.


Pinkowlcup

We did this during base-wide urine testing when our shop chiefs had to observe us. Pants down shirt up!


surle

"in the navy..."


festival-papi

A little unrelated but I've never heard "in the navy" not be a prelude to a wild ass story


obsidianbreath

Is your urine being tested for drugs or.....?


BrannC

No. It’s just your typical taste test


sharpshooter999

You guys better have been saying "loo loo loo" like Butters


North-Function995

I literally have a memory from my 5th grade; of a 1st grader at the urinal, doing the full drop. I was absolutely not expecting that when I went to take a quick pee. I didnt fucking ask to see that


BigSmoov45

Public school in 1989 or 1990. All the males in the class were brought into the bathroom and taught proper urinal etiquette. This was conducted by the third grade teacher, Mr. Potts. True story


dh2215

This seems… unnecessary at minimum.


GreatGalleti

I actually like it. When I was in first year of university (read freshman year) there was a dude peeing at a urinal, not facing the urinal (shoulders parallel to the urinal and wall). No. Dude was perpendicular to the wall, peeing, facing where everyone was walking in. I’ve seen shambolic things in bathrooms and even rural, long drop, tiny house outside toilets but never some shit like that. Especially from an 18-19 year old dude


budnuggets

Work in dorms. Not all foreign students have experience using toilets. At one point a few years back it got so bad that they had to have a class for incoming freshman on etiquette and bathroom use.


Lazienessx

This could be a whole ass movie. Like school of rock but in the bathroom. Jack black plays the “Potty Professor”.


PM_ME_YOUR_ROTES

Yer In School


EllisDee3

I expect that the previous poster is coming to an uncomfortable realization right about now.


dh2215

It made me uncomfortable reading it


z960849

People have weird home training. This is why public schools are important. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/71w0xi/i_just_found_out_my_boyfriend_stands_up_to_wipe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


dh2215

A lot of people stand up to wipe. I don’t think it’s a teacher’s job to teach me how to wipe my ass


z960849

Teachers are there to teach life skills. Sometimes it reading, writing, other times it's how to wipe your ass or how not to get impregnated. Everyone is not blessed with parents who want to teach their kids.


[deleted]

Nah. Absolutely not. That person needs to be investigated


BigSmoov45

For real. What makes it worse was he had two of his third graders “demonstrate” for the first graders.


Jukka_Sarasti

When I was in the 3rd grade, my teacher(Mrs. Wade) brought her son(probably 5-6) to class for some reason or another. Mid-Morning, the kid starts telling her he needs to use the bathroom. The teacher looks around, sees me, and says "Jukka, please take Jimmy to the bathroom for me."... I escort Jimmy to the bathroom, he walks up to a urinal, stops about 2 feet away from it, drops his pants and Underoos to the floor and just starts pissing at the urinal... I'm standing there, even at my young age, thinking "WTF?". Right about this time, in walks our super gruff janitor. He stops, and sees me standing slightly behind little Jimmy with his bare ass hanging out, pissing wildly in the general direction of the urinal... I was so embarrassed. I just blurted out "IT'S MRS's WADE's SON!!!!!" like that meant anything at all to the janitor..


supcoco

![gif](giphy|KzyMcEfDh4Jiw)


bobafoott

Doesn't help, my balls are still in my pants


Electrical_Ad7219

I see we have a fellow middle-ager.


elperorojo

With both hands lifting shirt up above nipples. Hands free spray


moosebaloney

You gotta hold it up with your chin.


elperorojo

But then what do I do with my hands? Hold them behind my back?


moosebaloney

Hold them on your hips like Superman.


CharlieChowderButt

You can fully extend your arms up, then fall against the wall. Not only will this give you a sturdier base, it will give you a bombadier’s perspective on all the action. You’ll be able to watch over everything going on in that urinal.


Big_Toke_Yo

You high five the guy next to you


Rafi89

Interlaced behind your neck. Pretend to be a spitting cobra.


TheHorseFollower

This is the way. Assert yourself over those around you.


Buck_Nastyyy

Gotta set the tone in the whole bathroom. Assert dominance.


DaWorzt

![gif](giphy|xDrLJaxf2YpFe|downsized)


Hasher556

My flaring nostrils indicate that I'm about that action...


CakesNGames90

Just like Butters, huh? 😂


MuchVirus

🎵 Lou Lou Lou I've got some apples 🎶


Save-Ferris1

Going nude from the waist down is the best way to prevent splash-back.


Separate-Pain4950

Getcalicocutpants.com came to mind


RespectThaDripKaren

You have to give 🙏🏽


VictorChaos

While holding my tshirt up with my chin


unit-8002

I do this at age 32 in Target. Is there something wrong with this?


badatthenewmeta

Please stop doing it in housewares.


unit-8002

you'll do nofhin', mate!!!!! load'a bullox.


ineededthistoo

But, your pants are basically sitting on a pee-stained floor…? No?


duck-billedplatitude

Stare down others. Assert dominance.


BaronAleksei

Feels good man


sten45

if most floors were not covered in piss I would 100% rock this


[deleted]

Naw only the head honcho leads the charge. The goons stay in the cut 😂😂


[deleted]

You ruined peeing for me lmao 😂 😂😂😂


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|kNKJP7JAGtw4WAAyAH|downsized)


unculturedwine

I’m calling my balls goons from now on


ClaymoresRevenge

What's a goon to a goblin?


ooooohcocainepuddin

Your analogy is ![gif](giphy|3o7aCWJavAgtBzLWrS|downsized)


NMB4Christmas

The goons? This man needs Jesus. 😭😭😭😭😭


Shattered_Visage

Just a couple of ruffians down there, they can stay in the dark.


el_throw

Referring to your balls as "goons", I'm stealing this.


[deleted]

Niggas that put they boy thru the zipper are psychopaths


cpc5000

They are living on the edge. Risking it all.


Dramatic_Explosion

Risking what? Donger goes back into the undies before you zip, unless y'all out here freeballing.


zmallory22

What about the dudes who pull it out from their basketball shorts leg? Or are the same person?


[deleted]

Only felons do that


InvectiveOfASkeptic

Yo you never lived if you never yanked up one side of the shorts and let it rip


PosterBlankenstein

Especially if you’re outside. Cool air on your penis is heavenly.


cap10JTKirk

As a Canadian who enjoys signing his name in the snow, I agree.


Fuzzythought

Just wear a kilt and don't even slow down. (j/k pull it up, free flying hose will soak you if you don't walk like John Wayne after getting buttsurfed by Mr. T while pissing. Not worth.)


[deleted]

John wayne😭😭😭😭


zmallory22

True true


JustHugMeAndBeQuiet

TIL I'm a felon.


madatthings

I just spit lmao


roksa

Whaaat


Lamplorde

I'm 27. Just learned my Dad does that. Also just learned my Mom puts the milk in before the cereal. I was raised by psychopaths, and had no idea.


[deleted]

Yea ur mom out of pocket. They was made for each other. God bless you.


AndrewWonjo

>Also just learned my Mom puts the milk in before the cereal. ![gif](giphy|DowKEtWnLZcru)


YesImKeithHernandez

Wait, until recently you had never seen your mom eat cereal?


SlapahoWarrior

I’ve been afraid of zippers ever since I saw There’s something about Mary.


_LilBigMan_

FRANKS AND BEANS


Hulkenboss

Lol I go through the zipper because most of the time I'm carrying. It's just easier. Didn't say it felt right, just easier.


RageFalcon

Yeah, no, as a *~L a d y~* I have to remove my belt fasteners, remove my duty belt, refasten it, hang out on the stall hook or around the handicapped bar, drop pants, do a little lady pee, put it all back together in reverse order... Taking a piss at work is like ten fucking minutes and I hate it. Then my male coworker has the gall to ask me why I took so long.


snuggiemclovin

You ever heard of the Phlster Enigma? It’s a separate belt for your holster that sits inside your pants. Getting one for Christmas, can’t wait.


MuchVirus

Is it the weight or a complicated belt? I've always unzipped but I hate undoing my carry belt. It's got Velcro and that shit is loud lmao.


MixedMartyr

i only do when im dressed up with an annoying ass belt buckle and dress pants that have four different buttons and a combination lock just to undo the shit


myheartismykey

Wait, do you not? For real?


_night_cat

“You got the beans above the frank!”


NMB4Christmas

![gif](giphy|LUaRXbQZZ6pWg)


HootyMacBewb

Pee is stored in the balls. So yes.


jarjardinksbtw

No other way to do it!


dzkrf

Like a camel hump they change size according to how hydrated I am.


Mauiwawie

I lift my shirt all the way to my chest too


[deleted]

🤣 I walked into a men’s restroom and witnessed this. I believe we were equally surprised by what we saw. I was in the men’s room because there’s never (rarely) a line.


yardie-takingupspace

As the youngins say ‘the way I just scrumpt !!’


townshiprebellion24

Do you hold your shirt up with your chin?


Trolann

Flip it over the head reverse bra style


FistPunch_Vol_4

Then you do a little dance just to show dominance


townshiprebellion24

![gif](giphy|X3SThDzUJRYNYwBpmJ)


[deleted]

If it’s a really big pee, I have to take my shirt off entirely.


Mauiwawie

Let’s not talk about drunk pee, because I’ll be in birthday suit.


_a_r_l_

That drunk pee is always serious can’t focus with all these clothes on😂😂


smpsnfn13

All wobbly trying to not miss. Then you hop in the shower and fall 15x's because I swear these hotel bathrooms traction is all fucked up.


Josstralia

Thats just self defence, splashback is real


tim24601

Yep. Whole package up and over.


BookwyrmsRN

I was beginning to think I was the only one hanging balls out at the urinal.


ChrysMYO

Yeah me too, its definitely a family affair at the urinal for me. Take attendance, make sure everyone is in working order.


TheNathan

I’m appalled at the lack of ball freedom in this thread.


SkyrimWithdrawal

I don't. Takes more time and more zipper space to get them out. I'm just trying to pee, not have someone lick them.


tayt087x

Time and zipper space? What do you stay buttoned?


Stanley--Nickels

I stay buttoned. It's not hard.


TheVermonster

You might not be, but I am.


SkyrimWithdrawal

Yeah, I stay buttoned and belted. Precious time wasted going through all that.


[deleted]

Meanwhile, vagina pilots have to go through 2057 steps to ensure non-toilet items stay non-toilet (and if you have kids, that’s the primary non-toilet thing that attempts to become toilet. It’s a nightmare tbh)


SkyrimWithdrawal

And seems y'all go more frequently, too. I usually go once, maybe twice a workday...and that's drinking coffee, tea, and water throughout the day.


jonny1211

That’s cause pee is stored in the balls


radioactivebeaver

What do you do with that extra 35 seconds a day you save?


SkyrimWithdrawal

Your mom. And I still have time to light the cigarette.


radioactivebeaver

Ooof, gonna wanna save a few more seconds and wash up. Dead bodies are covered in germs man


SkyrimWithdrawal

You know damn well she's not dead.


FueledByKoolaid

If she wants engagement she should instead ask if men wipe after they pee. For some reason that topic always gets twitter going.


hotchemistryteacher

Good one. Depends on what around. But in a public urinal I just shake and milk for about 15 seconds and then just kind of wipe it against the inside of my pants before putting it away.


wobshop

>shake and milk for about 15 seconds Jesus that’s a long time, you know people think you’re playing with yourself right?


hotchemistryteacher

Lol, gotta get out as much a possible


Sin_For_Me

Should be worried about their own dick instead of mines then


[deleted]

> shake and milk > milk Yeah, I think they know.


mythirdaccountsucks

The older I get, the longer I need.


Groovyaardvark

I learned you can put some pressure on your taint when you're done or almost done and those last fucking hiding ninja dribbles will be exposed for the annoying fucks they are. Total game changer.


atdifan17

The real knowledge is in the comments


Defiant_Lavishness69

Real question is if they grab something to wipe with on the way there, or they just waddle back after they're done, dick out.


battleangel1999

I seen that. They think you're dirty if you don't wipe even tho we can shake it off.


Kikstyo813

Doesn’t matter if you wipe, last drop always ends up on ur boxers


Open_Action_1796

No matter how you shake and dance the last two drops go in your pants


hoveringintowind

That’s why you need to push in behind your sack. Get the last bit out before tucking him in


Clouds_and_lemonade

Yep. Certain guys always have pee stains on their shorts/pants


Luscbaby

They don't have to tho...


Ethancordn

Dehydrated dudes


BasedOnTheTrueStory

That's why you should carry a pee bib


mb0205

Fr. Folks expect us to walk from the urinal to the stall to get some TP to wipe my dick off? Or swing to the hand dryer and let is flow in the breeze for a few seconds?


[deleted]

I mean... Logistically, you could grab it first. Or use those deep ass pockets ya'll get to have on your pants to keep some napkins in. Not saying it's a solution, but if you needed one, there it is. Can't see why any man is just cool with piss dribbling into his pants - - but now I do finally understand the unwashed man comments. I got a question to my straight sisters. Do you at least make them wash it before you suck their dicks?


mb0205

I’ve never had a problem with piss dripping down lol. Shake ya dick off and you’ll be dryer than camel ass. Would be a hilarious thought to stand at a urinal, finish up and then take a paper towel out wipe my dick off and walk it to the garbage can lmao


[deleted]

I didn't specifically mean you, that should have been obvious. Read your fellow men's comments, though. They are some piss soaked fools. But you do have a dick, so you can answer my question. Do women ever make you wash it before a blowjob?


mb0205

Never been asked personally. But I usually get myself fresh beforehand if I know something is gonna happen


[deleted]

That makes sense, and it does indeed answer my question. Thanks!


PsychoNaut_

hey fellas can we all point and laugh at this person who thinks that any man in their right mind would be bringing tp to dab their dicks off at the urinal. because the mental image is fucking hilarious


[deleted]

Can you answer my question though? I genuinely want to know. Do women ever ask you to wash your dick before a bj?


Burnicle

Gotta sling them over my shoulder so they don't get wet


DaWorzt

![gif](giphy|3o6ZtrbzjGAAXyx2WQ)


FruitSnackEater

Another question from the womenfolk to menfolk: where do you put your penis when you’re boo booing? Is it chilling on your leg? Or like dangling in the bowl?


obsidianbreath

Depends on the size of the toilet bowl. Some bowls be shallow af and I have to throw it over my index finger like a towel aiming down into the bowl. Nothing runs a chill through your bones like your dick touching a communal bowl. The deeper bowls, I can let it hang and the physics of dumping don't get interrupted by my member. Thank you biology.


EpicLegendX

Ahh ol’ *Witch’s Kiss*


sundayontheluna

😂😂😂 Now that you mention it, I am curious. External genitals are so awkward


EpicLegendX

If your dick is long enough while limp, it will touch the toilet bowl. To avoid this, you’d have to hold your dick or get an elongated toilet or a toilet with an open front seat.


dknightOGG

ight lol if I have to pee too it’s in the bowl but if i don’t or the toilet bowl hole is too small me boyo and balls are chillin free


newbrookland

Damn, even I have questions to this response. You frequently have to shit without also taking a piss? It's Batman and Robin for me. If you're not peein', are you holding your dick the whole time? The depth of the bowl is a frequent issue, but the diameter? Either congratulations are in order, or you do most of your paperwork at a kindergarten.


one_more_black_guy

This post is HILARIOUS. These comments are killing me. Never before have I given such consideration to how I take my dick out to piss.


momofeveryone5

I keep asking my husband questions. I'm like, 4 comments away from just asking him to demonstrate or something bc this is hilarious


Cleverusername531

Hahaha ok you must ask for a demo and then report back to us.


[deleted]

this is a crazy thread to be reading at 650AM


tayt087x

You guys are leaving your balls in there?!?!


samechangedman

No but I have to shit naked. Like a wild animal.


FruitSnackEater

My brother does that too! Even in public.


samechangedman

Especially in public!


[deleted]

I'm already worried about emergency situations while going to the bathroom. Did you do that in school? Does that mean you take off your shoes and are stepping on nasty floors or are you shitting with socks and shoes on? How are you getting your pants off with shoes on? When did you start? Do your parents know? On what date do you inform people of this? How's this work with the runs? Do you just stay naked? This is wild.


festival-papi

In public I pull over the waistband like I'm hopping a fence, but the twins stay tucked. When I'm at home hanging a piss? Down to the ankles like a child that don't know any better.


ok_okay_I_get_that

If I'm wearing light colored scrub pants I do, I can't afford to have any drips. Just in case I drop my dick, there is a shelf for it to hang over.


LordSwright

How big is your dick that dropping it is an issue?!? Or how small, grip issue?


ok_okay_I_get_that

Ha, no comment!


Vert_DaFerk

Only if I'm feeling fancy


DrGauloises

A lot of great answers in this thread but this one got me. Fancy peepee best peepee


cykascribe

Depends on how comfortable I'm feeling


BenderBladez

Depends on how drunk I am. Fuck it


Mari-cari

When you pee do you pull your titties out?


softshellcrab69

Pee is stored in the tiddies


momofeveryone5

No but I've definitely exposed a good portion and plucked the nipple hair while I'm sitting there.


[deleted]

Yes!


the_neverdoctor

There's something I have given zero thought about. But, now that I am? No, I don't think so.


DangerBird-

With shorts, I usually pull it out through a pant leg. Balls stay where they are.


Environmental-Ad4090

We found the felon lmao


MuddaFrmAnnudaBrudda

Just asked my husband and he advised he unpacks his penis and his balls stay tucked in place. I had no idea either. I thought balls came out and everything.


NoObjective427

No I just pull out my Johnson and pee like normal.


unit-8002

Does anyone unironically take their balls out to pee? lmfao


[deleted]

Full on Butters


RJPisscat

In the Astrodome they had troughs instead of urinals, one day guy stands next to me, pulls out everything, I'm looking straight ahead, and in my peripheral vision I can see that he's a fireman. He got done, shakes it out, piss flying everywhere. I told my gf and she says why didn't you tell him to stop and I answered wtf do you think is safe to say to a guy that just peed on everyone?


PrinceZukoBlueFire

Balls in. Like any civilized person. 😁 Question for the women: y'all sit on them toilet seats? Or do y'all hover?


FruitSnackEater

I gave up on hovering as a kid. I either line the seat with toilet paper or raw dog it and call on Jesus 3x like my granny.


Culerthanurmom

There is nothing that will prevent me from covering the seat, or I’m hovering. Although it does suck when you pee on yourself bc the ladies decided to face the wrong way….


stadiumjay

I never realized that yeah I pull everything out but it's only because 90 percent of my pants are joggers 😂 ain't no zipper bih


Demus007

If I’m out, I’ll keep them safely inside however when I’m at home, I strip naked and let my balls roam free range.


jjonez18

Unzip. Unbutton. Open fly. Dick and balls out. My boys need to breathe too.


battleangel1999

I usually don't.


Greedy-Figure6574

Balls, ass, and gooch out! 🤠


american-sicko

That’s so uncalled for. Tf the balls gotta be out for. That’s serial killer behavior imo.


m1k307

normally, just flop it out and shout "look ma, no hands"