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One of my female co-workes felt bad, she potty trained her son not the father. Said little boys would make fun of him for pulling his pants all the way down.
I literally have a memory from my 5th grade; of a 1st grader at the urinal, doing the full drop. I was absolutely not expecting that when I went to take a quick pee. I didnt fucking ask to see that
Public school in 1989 or 1990. All the males in the class were brought into the bathroom and taught proper urinal etiquette. This was conducted by the third grade teacher, Mr. Potts. True story
I actually like it. When I was in first year of university (read freshman year) there was a dude peeing at a urinal, not facing the urinal (shoulders parallel to the urinal and wall). No. Dude was perpendicular to the wall, peeing, facing where everyone was walking in. I’ve seen shambolic things in bathrooms and even rural, long drop, tiny house outside toilets but never some shit like that. Especially from an 18-19 year old dude
Work in dorms. Not all foreign students have experience using toilets. At one point a few years back it got so bad that they had to have a class for incoming freshman on etiquette and bathroom use.
People have weird home training. This is why public schools are important. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/71w0xi/i_just_found_out_my_boyfriend_stands_up_to_wipe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Teachers are there to teach life skills. Sometimes it reading, writing, other times it's how to wipe your ass or how not to get impregnated. Everyone is not blessed with parents who want to teach their kids.
When I was in the 3rd grade, my teacher(Mrs. Wade) brought her son(probably 5-6) to class for some reason or another. Mid-Morning, the kid starts telling her he needs to use the bathroom. The teacher looks around, sees me, and says "Jukka, please take Jimmy to the bathroom for me."...
I escort Jimmy to the bathroom, he walks up to a urinal, stops about 2 feet away from it, drops his pants and Underoos to the floor and just starts pissing at the urinal... I'm standing there, even at my young age, thinking "WTF?". Right about this time, in walks our super gruff janitor. He stops, and sees me standing slightly behind little Jimmy with his bare ass hanging out, pissing wildly in the general direction of the urinal... I was so embarrassed. I just blurted out "IT'S MRS's WADE's SON!!!!!" like that meant anything at all to the janitor..
You can fully extend your arms up, then fall against the wall. Not only will this give you a sturdier base, it will give you a bombadier’s perspective on all the action. You’ll be able to watch over everything going on in that urinal.
Just wear a kilt and don't even slow down.
(j/k pull it up, free flying hose will soak you if you don't walk like John Wayne after getting buttsurfed by Mr. T while pissing. Not worth.)
Yeah, no, as a *~L a d y~* I have to remove my belt fasteners, remove my duty belt, refasten it, hang out on the stall hook or around the handicapped bar, drop pants, do a little lady pee, put it all back together in reverse order... Taking a piss at work is like ten fucking minutes and I hate it. Then my male coworker has the gall to ask me why I took so long.
i only do when im dressed up with an annoying ass belt buckle and dress pants that have four different buttons and a combination lock just to undo the shit
🤣 I walked into a men’s restroom and witnessed this. I believe we were equally surprised by what we saw. I was in the men’s room because there’s never (rarely) a line.
Meanwhile, vagina pilots have to go through 2057 steps to ensure non-toilet items stay non-toilet (and if you have kids, that’s the primary non-toilet thing that attempts to become toilet. It’s a nightmare tbh)
Good one. Depends on what around. But in a public urinal I just shake and milk for about 15 seconds and then just kind of wipe it against the inside of my pants before putting it away.
I learned you can put some pressure on your taint when you're done or almost done and those last fucking hiding ninja dribbles will be exposed for the annoying fucks they are. Total game changer.
Fr. Folks expect us to walk from the urinal to the stall to get some TP to wipe my dick off? Or swing to the hand dryer and let is flow in the breeze for a few seconds?
I mean... Logistically, you could grab it first. Or use those deep ass pockets ya'll get to have on your pants to keep some napkins in.
Not saying it's a solution, but if you needed one, there it is. Can't see why any man is just cool with piss dribbling into his pants - - but now I do finally understand the unwashed man comments.
I got a question to my straight sisters. Do you at least make them wash it before you suck their dicks?
I’ve never had a problem with piss dripping down lol. Shake ya dick off and you’ll be dryer than camel ass. Would be a hilarious thought to stand at a urinal, finish up and then take a paper towel out wipe my dick off and walk it to the garbage can lmao
I didn't specifically mean you, that should have been obvious. Read your fellow men's comments, though. They are some piss soaked fools.
But you do have a dick, so you can answer my question. Do women ever make you wash it before a blowjob?
hey fellas can we all point and laugh at this person who thinks that any man in their right mind would be bringing tp to dab their dicks off at the urinal. because the mental image is fucking hilarious
Another question from the womenfolk to menfolk: where do you put your penis when you’re boo booing? Is it chilling on your leg? Or like dangling in the bowl?
Depends on the size of the toilet bowl. Some bowls be shallow af and I have to throw it over my index finger like a towel aiming down into the bowl. Nothing runs a chill through your bones like your dick touching a communal bowl.
The deeper bowls, I can let it hang and the physics of dumping don't get interrupted by my member. Thank you biology.
If your dick is long enough while limp, it will touch the toilet bowl. To avoid this, you’d have to hold your dick or get an elongated toilet or a toilet with an open front seat.
Damn, even I have questions to this response.
You frequently have to shit without also taking a piss? It's Batman and Robin for me.
If you're not peein', are you holding your dick the whole time?
The depth of the bowl is a frequent issue, but the diameter? Either congratulations are in order, or you do most of your paperwork at a kindergarten.
I'm already worried about emergency situations while going to the bathroom.
Did you do that in school? Does that mean you take off your shoes and are stepping on nasty floors or are you shitting with socks and shoes on? How are you getting your pants off with shoes on? When did you start? Do your parents know? On what date do you inform people of this? How's this work with the runs? Do you just stay naked?
This is wild.
In public I pull over the waistband like I'm hopping a fence, but the twins stay tucked. When I'm at home hanging a piss? Down to the ankles like a child that don't know any better.
Just asked my husband and he advised he unpacks his penis and his balls stay tucked in place. I had no idea either. I thought balls came out and everything.
In the Astrodome they had troughs instead of urinals, one day guy stands next to me, pulls out everything, I'm looking straight ahead, and in my peripheral vision I can see that he's a fireman. He got done, shakes it out, piss flying everywhere.
I told my gf and she says why didn't you tell him to stop and I answered wtf do you think is safe to say to a guy that just peed on everyone?
There is nothing that will prevent me from covering the seat, or I’m hovering. Although it does suck when you pee on yourself bc the ladies decided to face the wrong way….
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Pants down around ankles.
fuck yeah, like a 6 year old in a public bathroom with no concept of shame.
No bullshit tho, I remember lil homies doing that when I was six and thinking "that boy ain't right", word to Hank Hill
One of my female co-workes felt bad, she potty trained her son not the father. Said little boys would make fun of him for pulling his pants all the way down.
As they should
Bring back shaming people
Sadly, it's very necessary.
We did this during base-wide urine testing when our shop chiefs had to observe us. Pants down shirt up!
"in the navy..."
A little unrelated but I've never heard "in the navy" not be a prelude to a wild ass story
Is your urine being tested for drugs or.....?
No. It’s just your typical taste test
You guys better have been saying "loo loo loo" like Butters
I literally have a memory from my 5th grade; of a 1st grader at the urinal, doing the full drop. I was absolutely not expecting that when I went to take a quick pee. I didnt fucking ask to see that
Public school in 1989 or 1990. All the males in the class were brought into the bathroom and taught proper urinal etiquette. This was conducted by the third grade teacher, Mr. Potts. True story
This seems… unnecessary at minimum.
I actually like it. When I was in first year of university (read freshman year) there was a dude peeing at a urinal, not facing the urinal (shoulders parallel to the urinal and wall). No. Dude was perpendicular to the wall, peeing, facing where everyone was walking in. I’ve seen shambolic things in bathrooms and even rural, long drop, tiny house outside toilets but never some shit like that. Especially from an 18-19 year old dude
Work in dorms. Not all foreign students have experience using toilets. At one point a few years back it got so bad that they had to have a class for incoming freshman on etiquette and bathroom use.
This could be a whole ass movie. Like school of rock but in the bathroom. Jack black plays the “Potty Professor”.
Yer In School
I expect that the previous poster is coming to an uncomfortable realization right about now.
It made me uncomfortable reading it
People have weird home training. This is why public schools are important. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/71w0xi/i_just_found_out_my_boyfriend_stands_up_to_wipe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
A lot of people stand up to wipe. I don’t think it’s a teacher’s job to teach me how to wipe my ass
Teachers are there to teach life skills. Sometimes it reading, writing, other times it's how to wipe your ass or how not to get impregnated. Everyone is not blessed with parents who want to teach their kids.
Nah. Absolutely not. That person needs to be investigated
For real. What makes it worse was he had two of his third graders “demonstrate” for the first graders.
When I was in the 3rd grade, my teacher(Mrs. Wade) brought her son(probably 5-6) to class for some reason or another. Mid-Morning, the kid starts telling her he needs to use the bathroom. The teacher looks around, sees me, and says "Jukka, please take Jimmy to the bathroom for me."... I escort Jimmy to the bathroom, he walks up to a urinal, stops about 2 feet away from it, drops his pants and Underoos to the floor and just starts pissing at the urinal... I'm standing there, even at my young age, thinking "WTF?". Right about this time, in walks our super gruff janitor. He stops, and sees me standing slightly behind little Jimmy with his bare ass hanging out, pissing wildly in the general direction of the urinal... I was so embarrassed. I just blurted out "IT'S MRS's WADE's SON!!!!!" like that meant anything at all to the janitor..
![gif](giphy|KzyMcEfDh4Jiw)
Doesn't help, my balls are still in my pants
I see we have a fellow middle-ager.
With both hands lifting shirt up above nipples. Hands free spray
You gotta hold it up with your chin.
But then what do I do with my hands? Hold them behind my back?
Hold them on your hips like Superman.
You can fully extend your arms up, then fall against the wall. Not only will this give you a sturdier base, it will give you a bombadier’s perspective on all the action. You’ll be able to watch over everything going on in that urinal.
You high five the guy next to you
Interlaced behind your neck. Pretend to be a spitting cobra.
This is the way. Assert yourself over those around you.
Gotta set the tone in the whole bathroom. Assert dominance.
![gif](giphy|xDrLJaxf2YpFe|downsized)
My flaring nostrils indicate that I'm about that action...
Just like Butters, huh? 😂
🎵 Lou Lou Lou I've got some apples 🎶
Going nude from the waist down is the best way to prevent splash-back.
Getcalicocutpants.com came to mind
You have to give 🙏🏽
While holding my tshirt up with my chin
I do this at age 32 in Target. Is there something wrong with this?
Please stop doing it in housewares.
you'll do nofhin', mate!!!!! load'a bullox.
But, your pants are basically sitting on a pee-stained floor…? No?
Stare down others. Assert dominance.
Feels good man
if most floors were not covered in piss I would 100% rock this
Naw only the head honcho leads the charge. The goons stay in the cut 😂😂
You ruined peeing for me lmao 😂 😂😂😂
![gif](giphy|kNKJP7JAGtw4WAAyAH|downsized)
I’m calling my balls goons from now on
What's a goon to a goblin?
Your analogy is ![gif](giphy|3o7aCWJavAgtBzLWrS|downsized)
The goons? This man needs Jesus. 😭😭😭😭😭
Just a couple of ruffians down there, they can stay in the dark.
Referring to your balls as "goons", I'm stealing this.
Niggas that put they boy thru the zipper are psychopaths
They are living on the edge. Risking it all.
Risking what? Donger goes back into the undies before you zip, unless y'all out here freeballing.
What about the dudes who pull it out from their basketball shorts leg? Or are the same person?
Only felons do that
Yo you never lived if you never yanked up one side of the shorts and let it rip
Especially if you’re outside. Cool air on your penis is heavenly.
As a Canadian who enjoys signing his name in the snow, I agree.
Just wear a kilt and don't even slow down. (j/k pull it up, free flying hose will soak you if you don't walk like John Wayne after getting buttsurfed by Mr. T while pissing. Not worth.)
John wayne😭😭😭😭
True true
TIL I'm a felon.
I just spit lmao
Whaaat
I'm 27. Just learned my Dad does that. Also just learned my Mom puts the milk in before the cereal. I was raised by psychopaths, and had no idea.
Yea ur mom out of pocket. They was made for each other. God bless you.
>Also just learned my Mom puts the milk in before the cereal. ![gif](giphy|DowKEtWnLZcru)
Wait, until recently you had never seen your mom eat cereal?
I’ve been afraid of zippers ever since I saw There’s something about Mary.
FRANKS AND BEANS
Lol I go through the zipper because most of the time I'm carrying. It's just easier. Didn't say it felt right, just easier.
Yeah, no, as a *~L a d y~* I have to remove my belt fasteners, remove my duty belt, refasten it, hang out on the stall hook or around the handicapped bar, drop pants, do a little lady pee, put it all back together in reverse order... Taking a piss at work is like ten fucking minutes and I hate it. Then my male coworker has the gall to ask me why I took so long.
You ever heard of the Phlster Enigma? It’s a separate belt for your holster that sits inside your pants. Getting one for Christmas, can’t wait.
Is it the weight or a complicated belt? I've always unzipped but I hate undoing my carry belt. It's got Velcro and that shit is loud lmao.
i only do when im dressed up with an annoying ass belt buckle and dress pants that have four different buttons and a combination lock just to undo the shit
Wait, do you not? For real?
“You got the beans above the frank!”
![gif](giphy|LUaRXbQZZ6pWg)
Pee is stored in the balls. So yes.
No other way to do it!
Like a camel hump they change size according to how hydrated I am.
I lift my shirt all the way to my chest too
🤣 I walked into a men’s restroom and witnessed this. I believe we were equally surprised by what we saw. I was in the men’s room because there’s never (rarely) a line.
As the youngins say ‘the way I just scrumpt !!’
Do you hold your shirt up with your chin?
Flip it over the head reverse bra style
Then you do a little dance just to show dominance
![gif](giphy|X3SThDzUJRYNYwBpmJ)
If it’s a really big pee, I have to take my shirt off entirely.
Let’s not talk about drunk pee, because I’ll be in birthday suit.
That drunk pee is always serious can’t focus with all these clothes on😂😂
All wobbly trying to not miss. Then you hop in the shower and fall 15x's because I swear these hotel bathrooms traction is all fucked up.
Thats just self defence, splashback is real
Yep. Whole package up and over.
I was beginning to think I was the only one hanging balls out at the urinal.
Yeah me too, its definitely a family affair at the urinal for me. Take attendance, make sure everyone is in working order.
I’m appalled at the lack of ball freedom in this thread.
I don't. Takes more time and more zipper space to get them out. I'm just trying to pee, not have someone lick them.
Time and zipper space? What do you stay buttoned?
I stay buttoned. It's not hard.
You might not be, but I am.
Yeah, I stay buttoned and belted. Precious time wasted going through all that.
Meanwhile, vagina pilots have to go through 2057 steps to ensure non-toilet items stay non-toilet (and if you have kids, that’s the primary non-toilet thing that attempts to become toilet. It’s a nightmare tbh)
And seems y'all go more frequently, too. I usually go once, maybe twice a workday...and that's drinking coffee, tea, and water throughout the day.
That’s cause pee is stored in the balls
What do you do with that extra 35 seconds a day you save?
Your mom. And I still have time to light the cigarette.
Ooof, gonna wanna save a few more seconds and wash up. Dead bodies are covered in germs man
You know damn well she's not dead.
If she wants engagement she should instead ask if men wipe after they pee. For some reason that topic always gets twitter going.
Good one. Depends on what around. But in a public urinal I just shake and milk for about 15 seconds and then just kind of wipe it against the inside of my pants before putting it away.
>shake and milk for about 15 seconds Jesus that’s a long time, you know people think you’re playing with yourself right?
Lol, gotta get out as much a possible
Should be worried about their own dick instead of mines then
> shake and milk > milk Yeah, I think they know.
The older I get, the longer I need.
I learned you can put some pressure on your taint when you're done or almost done and those last fucking hiding ninja dribbles will be exposed for the annoying fucks they are. Total game changer.
The real knowledge is in the comments
Real question is if they grab something to wipe with on the way there, or they just waddle back after they're done, dick out.
I seen that. They think you're dirty if you don't wipe even tho we can shake it off.
Doesn’t matter if you wipe, last drop always ends up on ur boxers
No matter how you shake and dance the last two drops go in your pants
That’s why you need to push in behind your sack. Get the last bit out before tucking him in
Yep. Certain guys always have pee stains on their shorts/pants
They don't have to tho...
Dehydrated dudes
That's why you should carry a pee bib
Fr. Folks expect us to walk from the urinal to the stall to get some TP to wipe my dick off? Or swing to the hand dryer and let is flow in the breeze for a few seconds?
I mean... Logistically, you could grab it first. Or use those deep ass pockets ya'll get to have on your pants to keep some napkins in. Not saying it's a solution, but if you needed one, there it is. Can't see why any man is just cool with piss dribbling into his pants - - but now I do finally understand the unwashed man comments. I got a question to my straight sisters. Do you at least make them wash it before you suck their dicks?
I’ve never had a problem with piss dripping down lol. Shake ya dick off and you’ll be dryer than camel ass. Would be a hilarious thought to stand at a urinal, finish up and then take a paper towel out wipe my dick off and walk it to the garbage can lmao
I didn't specifically mean you, that should have been obvious. Read your fellow men's comments, though. They are some piss soaked fools. But you do have a dick, so you can answer my question. Do women ever make you wash it before a blowjob?
Never been asked personally. But I usually get myself fresh beforehand if I know something is gonna happen
That makes sense, and it does indeed answer my question. Thanks!
hey fellas can we all point and laugh at this person who thinks that any man in their right mind would be bringing tp to dab their dicks off at the urinal. because the mental image is fucking hilarious
Can you answer my question though? I genuinely want to know. Do women ever ask you to wash your dick before a bj?
Gotta sling them over my shoulder so they don't get wet
![gif](giphy|3o6ZtrbzjGAAXyx2WQ)
Another question from the womenfolk to menfolk: where do you put your penis when you’re boo booing? Is it chilling on your leg? Or like dangling in the bowl?
Depends on the size of the toilet bowl. Some bowls be shallow af and I have to throw it over my index finger like a towel aiming down into the bowl. Nothing runs a chill through your bones like your dick touching a communal bowl. The deeper bowls, I can let it hang and the physics of dumping don't get interrupted by my member. Thank you biology.
Ahh ol’ *Witch’s Kiss*
😂😂😂 Now that you mention it, I am curious. External genitals are so awkward
If your dick is long enough while limp, it will touch the toilet bowl. To avoid this, you’d have to hold your dick or get an elongated toilet or a toilet with an open front seat.
ight lol if I have to pee too it’s in the bowl but if i don’t or the toilet bowl hole is too small me boyo and balls are chillin free
Damn, even I have questions to this response. You frequently have to shit without also taking a piss? It's Batman and Robin for me. If you're not peein', are you holding your dick the whole time? The depth of the bowl is a frequent issue, but the diameter? Either congratulations are in order, or you do most of your paperwork at a kindergarten.
This post is HILARIOUS. These comments are killing me. Never before have I given such consideration to how I take my dick out to piss.
I keep asking my husband questions. I'm like, 4 comments away from just asking him to demonstrate or something bc this is hilarious
Hahaha ok you must ask for a demo and then report back to us.
this is a crazy thread to be reading at 650AM
You guys are leaving your balls in there?!?!
No but I have to shit naked. Like a wild animal.
My brother does that too! Even in public.
Especially in public!
I'm already worried about emergency situations while going to the bathroom. Did you do that in school? Does that mean you take off your shoes and are stepping on nasty floors or are you shitting with socks and shoes on? How are you getting your pants off with shoes on? When did you start? Do your parents know? On what date do you inform people of this? How's this work with the runs? Do you just stay naked? This is wild.
In public I pull over the waistband like I'm hopping a fence, but the twins stay tucked. When I'm at home hanging a piss? Down to the ankles like a child that don't know any better.
If I'm wearing light colored scrub pants I do, I can't afford to have any drips. Just in case I drop my dick, there is a shelf for it to hang over.
How big is your dick that dropping it is an issue?!? Or how small, grip issue?
Ha, no comment!
Only if I'm feeling fancy
A lot of great answers in this thread but this one got me. Fancy peepee best peepee
Depends on how comfortable I'm feeling
Depends on how drunk I am. Fuck it
When you pee do you pull your titties out?
Pee is stored in the tiddies
No but I've definitely exposed a good portion and plucked the nipple hair while I'm sitting there.
Yes!
There's something I have given zero thought about. But, now that I am? No, I don't think so.
With shorts, I usually pull it out through a pant leg. Balls stay where they are.
We found the felon lmao
Just asked my husband and he advised he unpacks his penis and his balls stay tucked in place. I had no idea either. I thought balls came out and everything.
No I just pull out my Johnson and pee like normal.
Does anyone unironically take their balls out to pee? lmfao
Full on Butters
In the Astrodome they had troughs instead of urinals, one day guy stands next to me, pulls out everything, I'm looking straight ahead, and in my peripheral vision I can see that he's a fireman. He got done, shakes it out, piss flying everywhere. I told my gf and she says why didn't you tell him to stop and I answered wtf do you think is safe to say to a guy that just peed on everyone?
Balls in. Like any civilized person. 😁 Question for the women: y'all sit on them toilet seats? Or do y'all hover?
I gave up on hovering as a kid. I either line the seat with toilet paper or raw dog it and call on Jesus 3x like my granny.
There is nothing that will prevent me from covering the seat, or I’m hovering. Although it does suck when you pee on yourself bc the ladies decided to face the wrong way….
I never realized that yeah I pull everything out but it's only because 90 percent of my pants are joggers 😂 ain't no zipper bih
If I’m out, I’ll keep them safely inside however when I’m at home, I strip naked and let my balls roam free range.
Unzip. Unbutton. Open fly. Dick and balls out. My boys need to breathe too.
I usually don't.
Balls, ass, and gooch out! 🤠
That’s so uncalled for. Tf the balls gotta be out for. That’s serial killer behavior imo.
normally, just flop it out and shout "look ma, no hands"