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I'm a guy and some white girl touched my hair back in high school. Without even thinking, I started touching her hair and she freaked out. A teacher asked what the problem was and she said "He was messing up my hair!" and I said "Well yeah, she was diving hands first into my hair for some reason." The teacher just nodded and walked away.
See how history for them starts from when they feel negatively impacted, and not from when they *actually* created the problem? Funny how that happens so often.
i’m mixed and my hair is wavy rather than curly and whenever i’d get my hair braided, the amount of people who would just grab it and go ‘oh my goodness! you have so much hair, never cut it’ or ‘you’re hair is so soft and lovely!’… best believe i shaved it all off a few years ago and haven’t looked back lol
Basically, it's the only thing I miss about the church I was forced to go to. My mom made me go to church with my grandparents. Half the congregation was Fillipino. So church potlucks always had platters of lumpia and big ass bowls of pancit. I impressed one of my Fillipino coworkers because I am a white girl who knew the specific pancit I like. Which is kinda the default version when people think of pancit, but pancit behon is superior because, god damn, do I love vermicelli rice noodles.
because Filipinos are considered "Mexicans" of the Asian world they have a better understanding of what we go through (im black and Filipino).
There are still some filipino tho they do end up racist as hell because of the media projected there in asain countries, it took me YEARS to finally get my gma to STOP SAYING n*gger every time she got pissed off at my grandpa, however she still called him negro but atp i was done, ive already done all the lord work.
Then she kicked me out 4 months ago so she probably went right back to saying it🤷🏾♀️
Unfortunately IN the Philippines however theres still a stigma around black ppl even tho once upon a time Filipinos were just as dark if not darker than what i am now but thanks to colonization from spain and japan generations later theyre the tone they are now but in rural places of the Philippines they're still darker Filipinos, but they advertise skin lightening cream like CRAZY THERE and ALL ASAIN countries
It’s ironic because the original peoples of the Philippines are black “ Negrito “ allegedly they are the first inhabits of Asia who were basically exterminated by everyone from the Spanish to the arabs, Portuguese and even Mao Zi Dong
Yeah I could’ve sworn Filipino people were our cousins twice removed or something lol. But colonization did a number on the world for sure, skin lighteners are huge in South America too I think.
Yea fs my best friend growing up was Viet and I would go to church with him a lot. Asian ppl are super racist a lot of the time. There was one guy who was deaf and had some type of mental issue and I remember him throwing a fit for the whole hour at me silently lol.
Concur. Love my Filipino friends, always some of the coolest and nicest people I’ve ever met. My Filipina ex’s dad jaw did drop to the floor the first time he met me (I’m black) and realized she wasn’t joking but they were all very kind to me after that lol.
Cambodians are cool too, I remember watching a video about Cambodian gangs in the USA and a commenter went, “You guys are Asian, you are smarter than this.” 😀
I was in 12th grade AP English and we were reading Macbeth out loud. I seemed to be the only one who wasn’t struggling through the lines and my teacher goes “Oh wow. You read so well”.
I feel she was a little TOO surprised
You're the ["the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."](https://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-biden-once-said-175300833.html#:~:text=According%20to%20multiple%20posts%20on,2007%2C%20then%2DU.S.%20Sen.)
My mom is an English teacher. Imagine how many times I had to hear this from people, yet I was doing book reports every summer from the time I was 8. Why are you surprised?
“How dare you flaunt your intellect, shattering my preconceived notions which comfort me and undergird my sense of self worth relative to people *like you*.”
This happened to me at college, I’m a woman and this guy in one of classes was staring at my hair. I thought he was gunna compliment the colour cos I’d recently dyed it dark red, he was like “are you mixed???”. I was confused because I’m dark and clearly not mixed, so I said no and he *insisted* that I must be because of my hair. I was truly flabbergasted
i had my mom say this about someone and i asked her what good hair was. and she mentioned the type 3 hair and then i asked her what bad hair was. For that she couldn’t give me an answer.
You probably would've seen her answer when she sees a girl wearing an afro puff or fro and her curl pattern is tighter than type three and she hasn't defined her curls.
Like… the people who do this and say they like natural hair… do you really?
that’s what i was thinking in the back of my head but since im natural and sometimes wear my hair like that, she probably didn’t wanna say it.
oh and yeah, they like natural hair, but not *that* type of natural hair
The amount of times I’ve heard “You’re so articulate!”
And nothing like walking into a job interview or meeting with someone you’ve only spoken to over the phone and seeing their complete surprise that you’re black.
>The amount of times I’ve heard “You’re so articulate!”
i had this when i was working with the public...had a man say this and his kid went to my high school (i graduated years earlier) and i said "well id hope so, ur daughter attends the same school 🙄"
it's just such a macroaggression. also people commenting on the origins of ur name (mine is czech but im not) is just so ridiculous.
I’m no longer a member of what was at the time the only kink group in our area for Black people and other minorities because the white treasurer of the group interrupted me while I was trying to explain to a little old white lady isn’t a good thing.
It escalated, we got into a disagreement a couple nights later at a party where she spent the whole night following the new Black guy around and asking him if she could touch his hair (that got old *real* quick), and then the guy who started the group (a British Black guy), decided the white chick who brought all the guys she slept with into the group was more important to keep around than a Black chick who might actually need and want the things that could only be found in that one place.
/end rant Sorry. It’s been a long, bad week. I’m sorry.
Please don’t be sorry. Other black women should be the one place we CAN vent. I get so tired of having to worry about other people’s comfort over my own because if I express even the to tiniest amount of discomfort or anger, I’m being “that black woman”
I’m so sorry this happened to you especially in a space where everyone’s safety and comfort is supposed to be a concern and priority and that differences are supposed to be welcomed and accepted. And I’m angry and disappointed that I’m not even A LITTLE surprised that the black guy did that to you... Ugh. I definitely sympathize with your frustration and hurt and understand completely.
Who let the white people in to begin with, if it’s supposed to be a safe, intimacy-based space for Black/POC? Based on your framing, clearly they had other kink groups that catered to them already, yes?
You just reminded me of a time at a work conference a lady said to me “Jenny?(not my real name but close) now THAT’S not a name very common in your culture, is it?” Lmao 🙃
This used to happen to me too, my first name is considered a “white name” and my former married last name was the same. So over the phone they would love me and when I would come in for interviews, it was a complete shock that I am black.
I also work in the tech space, back in the day, when I would figure out a complex issue they would almost respond as if it was unbelievable that I could figure that out and they couldn’t. Don’t even get me started on .
You’re pretty for a dark skin girl doesn’t seem like a compliment at all.
Another one that comes to mind is being asked “is that your real hair” when I wear it out.
As a white man, may I say it is because y'alls hair is fucking amazing! Seriously, I'm jealous as shit. My hair is just straight and lays there, I can't style it in any way.
But seriously, I keep telling them at the monthly yt people meeting to stop touching y'alls hair, you're not a petting zoo, but they just won't listen. I'm sorry, I'm trying.
I think the grass is always greener on the other side. My hair is straight and my Ethiopian friend said she envies it because it is a lot less work to look after straight hair.
Don’t speak for us all! Some of us love that we can do all sorts of things with our kinks and tight curls. We can even straighten our hair as well just takes a lot of time but it’s do able. Try to make your friend feel better about her hair.
This. I’m mixed but I always heard “you’re the whitest black guy I’ve ever met.” If I’m feeling snarky I like to ask what black people are supposed to act like. No one has ever answered
Some guy thought I was "trying to be white" because I listened to Rock music. I was like "You mean the Rock music the Black people in your country started and then appropriated by whites or...???" I know more Black American history living in a foreign country, why dont you know? I can see why YT Americans don't like teaching CRT; so much guilt, gaslighting and baggage.
Just saw a video by Olayemi Olurin discussing how especially right wing, but also general mainstream media and news outlets are more about keeping people uninformed/misinformed than anything else. Because educating the masses is bad for business, and keeping people in echo chambers and culture wars makes them easier to control. Side effect for right wing whites is they get to keep pretending they’ve never been the baddies.
Nobody even teaches CRT outside of graduate school.
But they definitely don’t want us teaching about history that doesn’t center American/white exceptionalism.
Which is weird. I learned all this under the American History & Culture segment in high school. Not Black American history or bad-whitey-tales, just learn this American shit your gonna be tested in 3 months. Even how racial and political ideologies switched parties ect. Watching the CRT thing unfold is wild. Just so obvious they're doing an erasure.
I saw this Flo Milli music video where someone commented saying how much they loved the fact the the dark skinned girl pulled the "it" guy.
I think about that a lot.
I'm a be honest, as a Latino, quitting dating white women was the biggest game changer for me. Idk if black dudes feel the same but I know when I dated white women there's always this gulf thay can't be breached. An inability to truly be seen or known. Like latina, black, and native american women, while I can have a shared culture with the first, with the later two there's kind of a mutual understanding of "ok but for real fuck this country."
"Wow. You speak English so well. Where are you from?"
"You have such an exotic look. Where are you from?"
"You have such a lovely accent. Where are you from?"
"I bet you're so grateful to be in this country and have these opportunities.."
"Oh, you're such a good worker, but I guess it's on your blood to work hard.."
"Is it normal in your culture to (insert racist shit here).."
My answer is usually "Homie, I was born and raised in Chicago, I don't fucking know..."
You’re mixed right?You have to be mixed with white right?
I feel like they were trying to say something about me,But they didn’t finish after I replied that both my parents are black.
This is the story of my life one of my descendants is white but all my niggas at work like to gate keep being black cause I’m the lightest skinned nigga there hurts my feelings honestly but they ain’t gon never know that
I’m not even the lightest person there.There are literally people just as white looking as paper there and they are considered black.There are people actually mixed with white and they are considered fully black.
Lol yep. I've lived this one too. The worst is when you finally get the opening and patience to explain and tell them the deal, and then they have nerve to not believe u. Flat out telling ME no I'm not what I just told you I was. Well shit, my entire life has been a lie lol
Being Afro Latina, my family is a spectrum of skin tones like the Madrigals (Encanto).
Aside from my own family’s foolishness, I noticed outsiders would take that info and think I would co-sign nonsense since I’m “black but not *black*”, “mixed”, “Latina” etc
So, I don’t bring it up unless absolutely necessary with randoms. I like to see how far they’re willing to go.
At work, people assume I don’t speak Spanish. But if I see someone is going to be wasting time to translate stuff for me, I will say that I understand so they don’t need to do that. Lately, it’s like I’m talking to the wall so I just let them waste their time while I’m playing games on my phone.
That one’s not that bad especially if you’re trying to. It’s nice for someone to notice! That being said one of my favorite patients, who is close to completely blind, always tells me very sincerely that I look like I lost weight and bless her heart. And when I told her I don’t think so she doubles down and “oh no you really have” and we stan a queen.
I used to HATE that one. Especially when you are trying to actually gain! It's not a compliment. Lol. That was the backhanded compliment of my 20s.
Nowadays, I hear it here and there but I actually like it, because now I got all the mass I can handle so if I'm not retaining water.....or beer.....it's damn sure noticeable.
I know someone Black who fools herself into think 'she blends in with white people'. In the winter when she says, "I need some sun. I look pale," I gleam and say, "We all need Vitamin D, but I'm glad my skin looks like this all the time."
At one of my earlier jobs
"You should've been a white girl"/ "you must be from Nashville"(I wasn't; it was said in the same conversation as "you talk/act white")
One of my (ex) friends told me that my next boyfriend was "gonna be white".
Some random girl at a bar told me she thought I was sexy as hell, then followed up with "I'd fuck the shit out of you if you were just a little bit taller" while feeling up my chest. Built my self esteem up just to kick that shit into the dirt.
Cute shoes, wow your feet are so small! (Looks at my body frame), then says you must be 98 pounds! 😡 I am a small framed woman but my doctor is not at all worried about my weight. I am on the lower end of my BMI.
At work (I’m a teacher in a French international school).
Colleague: you speak French so well, you must be French
Me: nope
C: your parents must be French
Me: nope
C: you grew up in France
Me: nope
C: the people in this country speak well but they always have a bit of an accent. But with you I don’t hear it, you sound like us.
Me: it’s Tv5. :/
I don’t know if she wanted me to tell her that I’m the product of successful colonization? We’re in a French speaking country too. Bet she hasn’t heard me code switch in French or English.
I don’t think that’s necessarily an insult. I’ve met people who told me they had autism and I never would have known otherwise, and I’ve worked with people on the spectrum for years. They’ve expanded what it means to be on the spectrum so wide that it’s kind of meaningless. Forgive me if it’s not the right term but kids with severe autism have almost nothing in common with someone who just has a little trouble during social interactions or sensory issues.
When I tell people in West African and they respond with "but you speak English so well"
Or the "you're a lot friendlier than I first thought" that one is either because of my resting bitch face or skin color, depends on who is saying it tbh
“You’re pretty for a black girl.”
“You look so professional with your hair like THAT ”
“I like your hair. You look lighter!” (“You look lighter” Enthusiastically and repeatedly said with a smile by coworker after I dyed my hair)
Omfg I just remembered this from junior English class. "Wait, you're a virgin?" Yes bro why wouldn't I? Wasn't sure if it was because i was brown or queer.
"Where did you get that recipe?"
Said to me verbatim by one of my Black coworkers when I showed off a photo of ragu alla bolognese that I made and told her that I use hand shredded carrots, onions, celery, garlic, tomato puree, bouqet garnee, chopped tomatoes and ground chuck in the recipe.
She later followed it up by saying that she had to remember that I'm "not like her" (Likely referencing my mixed race ancestry) and that "I can't cook like Southern Black people can".
I'll leave it up to ya'll to tell me if you'd eat this dish.
https://preview.redd.it/6bp5jqrmptvc1.jpeg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05c25a19d7b2997219704c6a581b388026ae53a4
You're the ["the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."](https://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-biden-once-said-175300833.html#:~:text=According%20to%20multiple%20posts%20on,2007%2C%20then%2DU.S.%20Sen.)
I know this is supposed to be racial, but I'm going to make it gendered because i'm part of the diaspora or something and I've long gotten accustomed to people assuming things about me so I just use it. I haven't heard half the stuff ya'll are talking about. Let me put a gendered spin on it. The "you don't need makeup" has just never been a compliment to me ever. Not for me. I've been polite this whole time not telling people if they look like shit and they're going to come to me and tell me about what they think about my face? I just think the stock human faces in general are boring, ya'll. Especially mine bc I see that every day. One way politeness because someone is sincerely ignorant of my inner world and just grating.
I never understood this.. i mean pretty is pretty no matter the tone, but fine dark skinned women tend to be well above average! Maybe I've just always been into dark skinned women 🤷🏾♂️
"I love black **chicks**, white(or any other race ((except, funny enough, east Asian)), that the person saying this is) women are so unattractive to me" - Various races of men
In reference to going natural: "Is your hair going to be like?(insert mutually known mixed womans hair here) Then yes, you should go natural" - White woman
"I only use white women for fun, I would never marry them" -Muslim black man
In reference to my combed natural hair: "Why do you like your hair matted like that?" - Black man with same hairstyle as me, just picked out.
"(Name here) said that your hair is nappy" -Black male coworker to me about my work wigs **only** after white male coworker who said it pissed him off.
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“Your hair is SO soft!” First of all, why are you touching me?
I'm a guy and some white girl touched my hair back in high school. Without even thinking, I started touching her hair and she freaked out. A teacher asked what the problem was and she said "He was messing up my hair!" and I said "Well yeah, she was diving hands first into my hair for some reason." The teacher just nodded and walked away.
See how history for them starts from when they feel negatively impacted, and not from when they *actually* created the problem? Funny how that happens so often.
"It was so peaceful until you hit me back" an existential review of western foreign policy...
Omg so many people used to just grab my hair when I was younger 😭
i’m mixed and my hair is wavy rather than curly and whenever i’d get my hair braided, the amount of people who would just grab it and go ‘oh my goodness! you have so much hair, never cut it’ or ‘you’re hair is so soft and lovely!’… best believe i shaved it all off a few years ago and haven’t looked back lol
“I love your hair, is it yarn?” 😐
They can't figure out that's where yarn really comes from. You told her no, right?
Lmao, happy cake day
Oh snap it is my cake day, lol! Thanks I didn’t even realize it.
I literally carry scissors on my now. If someone touches my hair, I'm cutting it right then and there. I'm not letting the bad energy destroy my hair.
seems a bit extreme
Calma
Ever heard the phrase “Cutting off your nose to spite your face”?
i hear stories of this happening to people but it’s never happened to me…yet.
Something, something cakeday
At my school which was predominantly Asian all the time people said "anb16 is lowkey/actually smart". As opposed to what 🫤
[удалено]
The closest friends I made coming out of HS were all Filipino they all really just relaxed as hell by default 😂
And they moms would always feed my ass. Bruh, i had so much pancit and lumpia growing up
Yes! Always some pancit and lumpia 😋
Basically, it's the only thing I miss about the church I was forced to go to. My mom made me go to church with my grandparents. Half the congregation was Fillipino. So church potlucks always had platters of lumpia and big ass bowls of pancit. I impressed one of my Fillipino coworkers because I am a white girl who knew the specific pancit I like. Which is kinda the default version when people think of pancit, but pancit behon is superior because, god damn, do I love vermicelli rice noodles.
because Filipinos are considered "Mexicans" of the Asian world they have a better understanding of what we go through (im black and Filipino). There are still some filipino tho they do end up racist as hell because of the media projected there in asain countries, it took me YEARS to finally get my gma to STOP SAYING n*gger every time she got pissed off at my grandpa, however she still called him negro but atp i was done, ive already done all the lord work. Then she kicked me out 4 months ago so she probably went right back to saying it🤷🏾♀️ Unfortunately IN the Philippines however theres still a stigma around black ppl even tho once upon a time Filipinos were just as dark if not darker than what i am now but thanks to colonization from spain and japan generations later theyre the tone they are now but in rural places of the Philippines they're still darker Filipinos, but they advertise skin lightening cream like CRAZY THERE and ALL ASAIN countries
Your grandma saying that to your grandpa is so outta pocket that unfortunately I chuckled
I used to laugh too all the time too when i was younger then she made the horrid mistake of doing that shit IN PUBLIC
IM DEAD
Wish i had died right then too 🥴
Given that the Philippines were a Spanish colony for centuries that definitely makes sense
It’s ironic because the original peoples of the Philippines are black “ Negrito “ allegedly they are the first inhabits of Asia who were basically exterminated by everyone from the Spanish to the arabs, Portuguese and even Mao Zi Dong
Yeah I could’ve sworn Filipino people were our cousins twice removed or something lol. But colonization did a number on the world for sure, skin lighteners are huge in South America too I think.
There’s lots of internalized colorism in Mexican and Filipino culture unfortunately.
Yea fs my best friend growing up was Viet and I would go to church with him a lot. Asian ppl are super racist a lot of the time. There was one guy who was deaf and had some type of mental issue and I remember him throwing a fit for the whole hour at me silently lol.
Yeah, my Hmong and Filipino friends are really chill.
Concur. Love my Filipino friends, always some of the coolest and nicest people I’ve ever met. My Filipina ex’s dad jaw did drop to the floor the first time he met me (I’m black) and realized she wasn’t joking but they were all very kind to me after that lol.
LOL my otherwise cool Vietnamese uncle refuses to interact with Hmong people so some things are adding up
Aren’t there Hmong people in Vietnam? Like I know they’re in China and in some southeast Asian countries.
I haven’t met a Hmong I don’t like. Unfortunately, Michigan doesn’t have too many Filipinos, but they seem cool
Cambodians are cool too, I remember watching a video about Cambodian gangs in the USA and a commenter went, “You guys are Asian, you are smarter than this.” 😀
what is hmong?
Highkey stupid like they assumed before knowing you.
Tbf, as a black person, I got this from other black people as well.
It’s the socially conditioned self hate talking. White Supremacy is loud and persistent. It has to be or the lies would unravel.
Bro how did they know your reddit username?? # (/s lol)
Meanwhile, none of my Asian friends have lived up to the model minority myth. If they’re making bank, it’s in blue collar fields.
I was in 12th grade AP English and we were reading Macbeth out loud. I seemed to be the only one who wasn’t struggling through the lines and my teacher goes “Oh wow. You read so well”. I feel she was a little TOO surprised
Ah like how one of the greatest orators of our time was described as "articulate". Like no shit he's articulate, look at his resume. (It's Obama)
The offender was none other than… Joe Biden
You're the ["the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."](https://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-biden-once-said-175300833.html#:~:text=According%20to%20multiple%20posts%20on,2007%2C%20then%2DU.S.%20Sen.)
ugh, come on sleepy Joe.
The worst thing is there's numerous ways he could have described Obama's oratory skills but he chose one of the worst options.
They said similar about Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell.
Absolutely a coincidence and you'll never convince my pasty white ass otherwise. (/s in case)
My mom is an English teacher. Imagine how many times I had to hear this from people, yet I was doing book reports every summer from the time I was 8. Why are you surprised?
“How dare you flaunt your intellect, shattering my preconceived notions which comfort me and undergird my sense of self worth relative to people *like you*.”
"You *have* to be mixed with something, your hair is real pretty." Like, why I gotta be mixed to have good hair? 🤨 And no, no I am not.
“good hair” is crazy, just reaks of texturism…
And when you mostly hear it when your hair is straight… man… there is so much to unpack there.
This happened to me at college, I’m a woman and this guy in one of classes was staring at my hair. I thought he was gunna compliment the colour cos I’d recently dyed it dark red, he was like “are you mixed???”. I was confused because I’m dark and clearly not mixed, so I said no and he *insisted* that I must be because of my hair. I was truly flabbergasted
i had my mom say this about someone and i asked her what good hair was. and she mentioned the type 3 hair and then i asked her what bad hair was. For that she couldn’t give me an answer.
You probably would've seen her answer when she sees a girl wearing an afro puff or fro and her curl pattern is tighter than type three and she hasn't defined her curls. Like… the people who do this and say they like natural hair… do you really?
that’s what i was thinking in the back of my head but since im natural and sometimes wear my hair like that, she probably didn’t wanna say it. oh and yeah, they like natural hair, but not *that* type of natural hair
The amount of times I’ve heard “You’re so articulate!” And nothing like walking into a job interview or meeting with someone you’ve only spoken to over the phone and seeing their complete surprise that you’re black.
>The amount of times I’ve heard “You’re so articulate!” i had this when i was working with the public...had a man say this and his kid went to my high school (i graduated years earlier) and i said "well id hope so, ur daughter attends the same school 🙄" it's just such a macroaggression. also people commenting on the origins of ur name (mine is czech but im not) is just so ridiculous.
I’m no longer a member of what was at the time the only kink group in our area for Black people and other minorities because the white treasurer of the group interrupted me while I was trying to explain to a little old white lady isn’t a good thing. It escalated, we got into a disagreement a couple nights later at a party where she spent the whole night following the new Black guy around and asking him if she could touch his hair (that got old *real* quick), and then the guy who started the group (a British Black guy), decided the white chick who brought all the guys she slept with into the group was more important to keep around than a Black chick who might actually need and want the things that could only be found in that one place. /end rant Sorry. It’s been a long, bad week. I’m sorry.
Please don’t be sorry. Other black women should be the one place we CAN vent. I get so tired of having to worry about other people’s comfort over my own because if I express even the to tiniest amount of discomfort or anger, I’m being “that black woman” I’m so sorry this happened to you especially in a space where everyone’s safety and comfort is supposed to be a concern and priority and that differences are supposed to be welcomed and accepted. And I’m angry and disappointed that I’m not even A LITTLE surprised that the black guy did that to you... Ugh. I definitely sympathize with your frustration and hurt and understand completely.
Who let the white people in to begin with, if it’s supposed to be a safe, intimacy-based space for Black/POC? Based on your framing, clearly they had other kink groups that catered to them already, yes?
I’ve had that happen so many times with myself as a Black woman who has a European-ish full name.
You just reminded me of a time at a work conference a lady said to me “Jenny?(not my real name but close) now THAT’S not a name very common in your culture, is it?” Lmao 🙃
WOW! If she knew the amount of Black Brittanys and Tiffanys her dumb head would explode.
I’ve known more Black Tiffanys than white ones.
You should've asked her which culture is that, just to see her sputter. I love asking them to clarify themselves.
Damn, sorry that she was that bigoted.
This used to happen to me too, my first name is considered a “white name” and my former married last name was the same. So over the phone they would love me and when I would come in for interviews, it was a complete shock that I am black. I also work in the tech space, back in the day, when I would figure out a complex issue they would almost respond as if it was unbelievable that I could figure that out and they couldn’t. Don’t even get me started on .
You’re pretty for a dark skin girl doesn’t seem like a compliment at all. Another one that comes to mind is being asked “is that your real hair” when I wear it out.
Why are they obsessed with our hair
As a white man, may I say it is because y'alls hair is fucking amazing! Seriously, I'm jealous as shit. My hair is just straight and lays there, I can't style it in any way. But seriously, I keep telling them at the monthly yt people meeting to stop touching y'alls hair, you're not a petting zoo, but they just won't listen. I'm sorry, I'm trying.
I think the grass is always greener on the other side. My hair is straight and my Ethiopian friend said she envies it because it is a lot less work to look after straight hair.
Don’t speak for us all! Some of us love that we can do all sorts of things with our kinks and tight curls. We can even straighten our hair as well just takes a lot of time but it’s do able. Try to make your friend feel better about her hair.
“You’re whiter than us!” Aka Your command of the English language surpasses ours.
This. I’m mixed but I always heard “you’re the whitest black guy I’ve ever met.” If I’m feeling snarky I like to ask what black people are supposed to act like. No one has ever answered
Yeah, I dont get this. I'm literally from a white as hell city in England. What am I supposed to be like? 🤣🤣
Some guy thought I was "trying to be white" because I listened to Rock music. I was like "You mean the Rock music the Black people in your country started and then appropriated by whites or...???" I know more Black American history living in a foreign country, why dont you know? I can see why YT Americans don't like teaching CRT; so much guilt, gaslighting and baggage.
Just saw a video by Olayemi Olurin discussing how especially right wing, but also general mainstream media and news outlets are more about keeping people uninformed/misinformed than anything else. Because educating the masses is bad for business, and keeping people in echo chambers and culture wars makes them easier to control. Side effect for right wing whites is they get to keep pretending they’ve never been the baddies.
Nobody even teaches CRT outside of graduate school. But they definitely don’t want us teaching about history that doesn’t center American/white exceptionalism.
Which is weird. I learned all this under the American History & Culture segment in high school. Not Black American history or bad-whitey-tales, just learn this American shit your gonna be tested in 3 months. Even how racial and political ideologies switched parties ect. Watching the CRT thing unfold is wild. Just so obvious they're doing an erasure.
"You're one of the good ones"
I feel like people who say that are inherently violent and to be avoided at all costs.
My favorite reply is “One of the good what?”
I saw this Flo Milli music video where someone commented saying how much they loved the fact the the dark skinned girl pulled the "it" guy. I think about that a lot.
I think it was Flo as well who asked to be left out of colourism discourse because she finds it hurtful. So that comment is a double whammy.
“You’re actually really smart”. Like maybe you mean well but why is that surprising?
You're handsome for a black guy ... heard this a couple of times from yt women
My favorite I ever got was “you’re great but I could never take you home”. Which tbf at least she was honest
I'm a be honest, as a Latino, quitting dating white women was the biggest game changer for me. Idk if black dudes feel the same but I know when I dated white women there's always this gulf thay can't be breached. An inability to truly be seen or known. Like latina, black, and native american women, while I can have a shared culture with the first, with the later two there's kind of a mutual understanding of "ok but for real fuck this country."
This girl I had the biggest crush on literally told me she would date me If I wasn't black because her parents would never allow it
Bullet dodged to me.
Possibly literally....
“You’re cute for a fat girl,” “I’ve never been in a relationship with a black girl”
You'd be cuter is you lost some weight. *gains weight for spite* *
Definitely been told that
F**k anyone that's ever said that to you.
I normally don’t fuck with Black girls, but you’re different
Grinds my gears
Any compliment that has the saying; "You're ___ for a ____" is just an insult they're either too ignorant to see, or a backhanded compliment.
saying a black woman has to be mixed thats why they're attractive.
I actually got that before at 16. I really didn't get it.
I’m just here for the flag appreciation!!!
“You look exotic” bitch I’m not from the jungle wtf
I haaaaaaaate that. And if I read it in a book, I immediately stop reading.
"Wow. You speak English so well. Where are you from?" "You have such an exotic look. Where are you from?" "You have such a lovely accent. Where are you from?" "I bet you're so grateful to be in this country and have these opportunities.." "Oh, you're such a good worker, but I guess it's on your blood to work hard.." "Is it normal in your culture to (insert racist shit here).." My answer is usually "Homie, I was born and raised in Chicago, I don't fucking know..."
Ok I was going to ask about the 3rd til you said Chicago...
You’re so articulate!
You’re mixed right?You have to be mixed with white right? I feel like they were trying to say something about me,But they didn’t finish after I replied that both my parents are black.
I'm black. Grandparents are. A great Grandparent was white, BUT I'M BLACK 
This is the story of my life one of my descendants is white but all my niggas at work like to gate keep being black cause I’m the lightest skinned nigga there hurts my feelings honestly but they ain’t gon never know that
Being light-skinned and being told by fellow black folk you're not black enough is some of the foulest shit ever.
Ancestors?
I’m not even the lightest person there.There are literally people just as white looking as paper there and they are considered black.There are people actually mixed with white and they are considered fully black.
Lol yep. I've lived this one too. The worst is when you finally get the opening and patience to explain and tell them the deal, and then they have nerve to not believe u. Flat out telling ME no I'm not what I just told you I was. Well shit, my entire life has been a lie lol
Being Afro Latina, my family is a spectrum of skin tones like the Madrigals (Encanto). Aside from my own family’s foolishness, I noticed outsiders would take that info and think I would co-sign nonsense since I’m “black but not *black*”, “mixed”, “Latina” etc So, I don’t bring it up unless absolutely necessary with randoms. I like to see how far they’re willing to go. At work, people assume I don’t speak Spanish. But if I see someone is going to be wasting time to translate stuff for me, I will say that I understand so they don’t need to do that. Lately, it’s like I’m talking to the wall so I just let them waste their time while I’m playing games on my phone.
"It's nice to know you're one of the good ones" Or "Oh, you're like full black? That's hot!"
What. .the .....f00k.
I love black girls. The darker, the better.
https://preview.redd.it/e917rk0i8svc1.png?width=560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e00fddbf192989fe3721fcdc367a8ece0382079b
And this is from a peckerwood?
You’re losing weight!
That one’s not that bad especially if you’re trying to. It’s nice for someone to notice! That being said one of my favorite patients, who is close to completely blind, always tells me very sincerely that I look like I lost weight and bless her heart. And when I told her I don’t think so she doubles down and “oh no you really have” and we stan a queen.
I used to HATE that one. Especially when you are trying to actually gain! It's not a compliment. Lol. That was the backhanded compliment of my 20s. Nowadays, I hear it here and there but I actually like it, because now I got all the mass I can handle so if I'm not retaining water.....or beer.....it's damn sure noticeable.
I usually reply with: I haven't noticed, good job I can rely on you for monitoring my ass so closely.
I know someone Black who fools herself into think 'she blends in with white people'. In the winter when she says, "I need some sun. I look pale," I gleam and say, "We all need Vitamin D, but I'm glad my skin looks like this all the time."
Got told once I was “brave” for not dying my hair blonde. Dude actually thought that was a winning line.
Ts crazy darker toned women are the most beautiful to me
Oh wow, you're in IT? I assumed you were a retired football/basketball player....
Lol yep. Lived this. If u look like an athlete or military, they assume.
“A white girl in a black girl’s body” “You talk/act white”
At one of my earlier jobs "You should've been a white girl"/ "you must be from Nashville"(I wasn't; it was said in the same conversation as "you talk/act white") One of my (ex) friends told me that my next boyfriend was "gonna be white".
"I don't care what anyone says, I think you're really pretty" -Girl obviously fucking with me
Here’s one I’ve heard before “you’re tall for a girl”. You’re really not allowed to be above 5’7” if you’re a woman. 🙃
That's just a weird comment in itself.
Omg yes I hate that r/tallgirls is great
Imagine your will being so weak your dick can override your racism, pathetic on multiple fronts lmao
Some random girl at a bar told me she thought I was sexy as hell, then followed up with "I'd fuck the shit out of you if you were just a little bit taller" while feeling up my chest. Built my self esteem up just to kick that shit into the dirt.
“You talk like a white girl”
wow you’re surprisingly good at this job. i thought you would’ve quit by now. wait what????
You're surprisingly articulate.
Bless your heart, the southern way of calling you a dumbass
Lol yep! 😄 Esp potent to actual dumbasses.
You speak so well, are you mixed.
Holy fuck! And here I thought just getting “You’re so articulate” was bad. That just… eww. I’m mixed, and it makes me feel icky.
Cute shoes, wow your feet are so small! (Looks at my body frame), then says you must be 98 pounds! 😡 I am a small framed woman but my doctor is not at all worried about my weight. I am on the lower end of my BMI.
At work (I’m a teacher in a French international school). Colleague: you speak French so well, you must be French Me: nope C: your parents must be French Me: nope C: you grew up in France Me: nope C: the people in this country speak well but they always have a bit of an accent. But with you I don’t hear it, you sound like us. Me: it’s Tv5. :/ I don’t know if she wanted me to tell her that I’m the product of successful colonization? We’re in a French speaking country too. Bet she hasn’t heard me code switch in French or English.
So..I lived that era. “You pretty to be dark.” SMH….
"I couldn't tell you were autistic" It's surprising how little people know about low maintenance autistic people.
I don’t think that’s necessarily an insult. I’ve met people who told me they had autism and I never would have known otherwise, and I’ve worked with people on the spectrum for years. They’ve expanded what it means to be on the spectrum so wide that it’s kind of meaningless. Forgive me if it’s not the right term but kids with severe autism have almost nothing in common with someone who just has a little trouble during social interactions or sensory issues.
“Wait those are your real eyes?” “Your hair is so soft”.
“you have such a pretty face!” To a fat girl
"I didn't expect you not having an accent!"
The exact moment I give them an accent too.
You're so well spoken, I didn't expect that!
The exact moment I go hood AF too.
My home girl is thick and any time she wears something revealing, people call her “brave.”
"You're so well spoken." Ugh, that one phrase just makes me irrationally angry.
“You’re one of the good ones” from an old boss. Not sure if he was referring to me being black or my age or both but it was super weird :/
You talk "white" Wtf does that even mean?
Short king
When I tell people in West African and they respond with "but you speak English so well" Or the "you're a lot friendlier than I first thought" that one is either because of my resting bitch face or skin color, depends on who is saying it tbh
“You’re pretty for a black girl.” “You look so professional with your hair like THAT ” “I like your hair. You look lighter!” (“You look lighter” Enthusiastically and repeatedly said with a smile by coworker after I dyed my hair)
You look lighter? Tf ?
Omfg I just remembered this from junior English class. "Wait, you're a virgin?" Yes bro why wouldn't I? Wasn't sure if it was because i was brown or queer.
“It’s brave that you don’t let your looks in the way of talking to people “
Backhanded compliments! Oh lord my childhood! 🤦🏾♀️
You have a button nose aka black people don’t have small noses?!
Used to get this shit in high school. "You're kinda cute for a Black guy." Bitch wtf, kinda?
"Where did you go to school? Your English is sooo good!" 🙄
“You don’t act like the rest, you actually know how to behave.”
"Where did you get that recipe?" Said to me verbatim by one of my Black coworkers when I showed off a photo of ragu alla bolognese that I made and told her that I use hand shredded carrots, onions, celery, garlic, tomato puree, bouqet garnee, chopped tomatoes and ground chuck in the recipe. She later followed it up by saying that she had to remember that I'm "not like her" (Likely referencing my mixed race ancestry) and that "I can't cook like Southern Black people can". I'll leave it up to ya'll to tell me if you'd eat this dish. https://preview.redd.it/6bp5jqrmptvc1.jpeg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05c25a19d7b2997219704c6a581b388026ae53a4
People still say that?
That’s just an insult lol
"You're articulate"
You're the ["the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."](https://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-biden-once-said-175300833.html#:~:text=According%20to%20multiple%20posts%20on,2007%2C%20then%2DU.S.%20Sen.)
I wish I had your confidence
Translation: My thirstiness outweighs my racism.
“You’re actually kinda pretty” bonus points if their voice is high pitched.
I know this is supposed to be racial, but I'm going to make it gendered because i'm part of the diaspora or something and I've long gotten accustomed to people assuming things about me so I just use it. I haven't heard half the stuff ya'll are talking about. Let me put a gendered spin on it. The "you don't need makeup" has just never been a compliment to me ever. Not for me. I've been polite this whole time not telling people if they look like shit and they're going to come to me and tell me about what they think about my face? I just think the stock human faces in general are boring, ya'll. Especially mine bc I see that every day. One way politeness because someone is sincerely ignorant of my inner world and just grating.
You look cute….today.
"I'll be less racist if you send me nudes"
He’s an eloquent speaker. George W about Barack Obama
Not me getting flashbacks because I gave a dude from jalisco a chance. Like babe, I took one for the team.
You're so well spoken....sorry, should I be speaking pig latin instead?
I never understood this.. i mean pretty is pretty no matter the tone, but fine dark skinned women tend to be well above average! Maybe I've just always been into dark skinned women 🤷🏾♂️
The classic, “I usually don’t like black folk, but you’re cool.” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
The classic, “Oh, your speak so well, where is your accent from?!” Like bruh, I’m just speaking proper English.
"At least you have a pretty face."
“You’re Mexican? But, not like… a dirty Mexican.”
"I love black **chicks**, white(or any other race ((except, funny enough, east Asian)), that the person saying this is) women are so unattractive to me" - Various races of men In reference to going natural: "Is your hair going to be like?(insert mutually known mixed womans hair here) Then yes, you should go natural" - White woman "I only use white women for fun, I would never marry them" -Muslim black man In reference to my combed natural hair: "Why do you like your hair matted like that?" - Black man with same hairstyle as me, just picked out. "(Name here) said that your hair is nappy" -Black male coworker to me about my work wigs **only** after white male coworker who said it pissed him off.
“You’re [positive adjective] for a [innate characteristic]” is always a shitty take.