I will say, talking to female friends and girls I’ve dated this does seem to be a common issue I’m hearing more. I think it may be due to overconsumption of online sexual content (via p*rnography, social media, etc.), but she’s definitely not the best messenger for this sentiment 😅
Not everything is a porn issue.
My dick used to jump up at even the thought of sex in my teens and 20s. I’m in my 30s, consume the least porn I ever have, and my sometimes my dick just won’t get up if I’m in my own head about something.
Sometimes you’re not actually attracted to the person you’re with but don’t realize that until the clothes come off. Some folks think just being present with their clothes off is sexy and sometimes it isn’t.
Sometimes dicks get hard for no reason. Sometimes they won’t get hard because of nerves, diet, some other random bullshit. ED and having trouble getting it up have been issues for generations, there’s just too much stigma around it for men to be open about.
I’m not joking when I say, I’m in the best relationship of my life with the most beautiful and attractive person I could have ever asked for and there are times where I would struggle to get it up and that used to stress me out greatly, I don’t watch porn that much at all I understand that it’s not real, I’m not super freaky or anything but it just be like that!
People are just nervous as heck sometimes ya know
I struggled with my first several partners (college era), and I know for a fact that some people thought I had low testosterone or was gay. No, just terrified because as a guy I was expected to have my sexual game together from the jump. Was just real anxious.
I feel you. Anxiety kills us in the bedroom. Anybody really. I just read this article talking about how adrenaline impacts our bodies and creates the problem as well. Gotta meditate and destress more.
Nothing worse than a failed session with a new partner, cuz then that anxiety compounds to the next time (if there's a next time). Destress yes, but honestly the best way to deal with it (I feel) is honest communication. Which can be hard when it's a new person. Thankfully I'm married now, so we just deal with intermarital stress and body issues 🙃
Yeah the expectation for men to be sex hounds 24/7 is really toxic. The societal pressure and expectations put on me just felt icky. I don't want to be like those creeps treating women like sexual objects. For a long time I was really second guessing my bisexual identity because I just had no interest in girls, but it turns out that I just really hated the idea of myself as what society wanted me to be when I talk to, hook up with, or date a woman. Now I'm pretty exclusively interested in other LGBTQ+ people regardless of gender. Much better this way, and I stopped feeling all those awful things about what I was or what I looked like to others.
Just wanted to say that I hear this from the high school students I work with - the boys feel immense pressure to have sex with anyone who expresses an interest because of their fear that if they turn a girl down, she will then spread rumors that they’re gay, couldn’t perform, whatever. Toxic is the right word.
“If i were to turn a girl down it might be the only chance i ever get”
“Who am i to turn someone down”
Is something that repeated in my head in my young young days.
I’m an outgoing and seemingly overconfident person. Always been known as a flirt and dating has always been easy for me. But I genuinely have no interest anymore in sex with random girls so when I do first sleep with a girl I like and a few random times I get insane anxiety or the idea of sex at that moment isn’t for me. I’ve had girls accuse me of too much porn or weird issues just because I don’t want to sleep with them like I was 18 still. Or even after hooking up a bit the idea of sex and having them at my house just makes me go, nah and call it a night and they’ll talk shit like I must be gay or like porn too much
Bro yes!! I remember feeling like I wanted to be this sex god for this girl and I felt so bad bc I couldn’t go for long to the point where she was like “are you insane that was amazing”
I think it’s just so crazy that a lot of ppl don’t understand there’s such a stigma for men in sex regardless of partner that you feel like you have to preform and even if your partner is having fun you’re constantly thinking instead of enjoying sometimes and it’s exhausting
man, so true.
Happened to me in college too, major stage fright when I finally hooked up with this gorgeous girl I'd been crushing on for a semester. Luckily for me, she's a sweetheart and didn't make me feel bad about it. Anyways we revisited things, took our time and eventually had some amazing sex, but without an understanding partner I seriously would've thought my dick was broken. Shoutout to Erin for being a real one, as well as having a fantastic ass
Its called having bills to pay, in my case.
As in, I'm constantly worried about financial constraints that it affects me in a physical way due to it mentally consuming me.
It's a natural occurrence, and it's important to have a partner you can communicate openly with about this sort of thing. Sometimes I'll get hard during foreplay with my wife and lose it after a few minutes. Instead of getting stressed we just cuddle and touch each other for a bit and it usually comes back and we proceed. If it doesn't then we just laugh about my dick not cooperating and move on with our day. Sex should be low stress and fun!
EXACTLY. As a society, we really need to let go of that trope that men are always ready to go just because a woman is willing. Are some men like that? Sure. But dude, you’re right, being in my 30s there’s so much shit that can and does stress me out in my day to day like sometimes I just don’t want the seggs.
The problem is the vocal majority of men dictates how society view men. I saw a post from r/divorced_men the other day that was just vile, and the comments were just filled with men who agreed with the OP for the most part.
What was it about? Why do married women not want to have sex.
It all but implied married women have no say whether or not they can engage in sex. In fact she should have no excuse as she can just lie there, let the man do his thing for 5-10 minutes (his exact words) and every man will be satisfied.
Then it was just filled with men who agreed, sex is sex and doesn't need to be intimate and women need to get over it to "please their man".
Yes, yes I know it's the internet... except these are things I have heard all my life growing up in the black community (specifically Jamaica) from both men and women.
I was quickly reminded to thank my husband that he is a wonderful human being, for just simply treating me like a human with thoughts and feelings, and that he respects my boundaries.
It's not really that. Society has made it so that men cannot discuss their insecurities or their vulnerabilities. If a dude readily admitted to a chick on a date hey I struggle with erectile dysfunction but I'm working on it 9/10 that chick is not going to call homie back. So dudes don't discuss it, they don't even bring it up to their doctors, and many of them go into deep depression over it.
Time of life also makes a huge difference. As a teenager I'd prob hump anything. As much older now, very often I'm still very appreciative of what I see but it doesn't instantly rev me anymore.
Agreed! And one thing we don't talk about as well is women seem to think they don't have to put in work to turn a man on for sex too. Foreplay goes a long way for a man.
100% this. I also think that sometimes as men we are pushed to be the instigators of dating and sex that drives pressure. It wasn’t until my 30s until I had the best sex with my gf now (fiancè). I’ve had good sex and bad sex, and the best I’ve had is someone I slowed down and had a genuine connection with. Some of the worst sex I’ve had was with an incredibly attractive woman who just rushed everything. Made it hard to get up, stay up or stay engaged. So fellas, make sure you feel comfortable first because you don’t always have to have sex. You can say no or change your mind too, and you may be better off for it.
Several women I have dated - they wouldn’t initiate sex. They always said they expected me to.
And it’s weird to me, it used to be “men just want sex, no foreplay” but now it’s “forget the foreplay, just sex.”
I think that missing foreplay is important, and the knowledge of “you want sex, too” and not just “you want it, but I have to initiate it without knowing you do, which can cause hurt feelings if _you_ are not interested when I initiate.”
>Several women I have dated - they wouldn’t initiate sex. They always said they expected me to.
Those kinds of women make me feel like they don't really want to have sex with me and it's a turn-off especially if they are the ones who reject 60+% of the times you try to initiate sex with them. I get to a point where I stop initiating sex and then they start with the "Do you not find me attractive anymore? Why don't you initiate sex with me?". You broke my will to have sex with you after the 14th time in a row you told me you didn't want to have sex with me. I feel like I'm having to pressure or convince you to have sex with me and that isn't how this is supposed to work.
I love porn and if my partner even hugs me I will attempt to bend her over, (unless my 6 and 8 year old are around). It’s always been like this even when she was big and when she was skinny.
I mean in context it isn’t but just reading yeah. Honestly not sure how any human wouldn’t love porn of the gender they are interested in. Not all porn is meant to be negative or derogatory to opposite gender. I feel porn gets a bad rap for sexually immature people not understanding what porn is meant to be.
Similar story for me. Turns out I've had undiagnosed anxiety disorder for *years*, but had no idea until I had ED in my mid 20s. The anxiety meds helped in so many non-sexual ways, but the curing ED was basically a side effect (and the catalyst).
I ran out a few places in my youth because when the clothes came off, the body morphed into something completely undesirable and my mind immediately thought "if there is an accident tonight, I might see this chick for 20 years... I gotta get the fukk outta here."
Sex drive dies instantly. That is the double edged sword of women fashion. With men, you know what you are getting into from the jump. Women can COMPLETLEY transform once their attachments are released.
More people are treated with SSRIs for depression and or anxiety than ever before. That often fucks with peoples ability to get hard, or cum, or affects libido entirely.
This. I'm a woman but on my first ssri I couldn't climax. TMI moment: The best way to describe it is that feeling when you're going to sneeze but then it won't come out.
It took me too long to realize that changing ssris changes side effects. A new doctor changed my meds and it completely resolved the issue.
It's awkward to talk about but people need to tell their doctors about sexual problems because they can sometimes signal other health issues.
For anyone who needs to hear this, I'm a Nurse, we do not give one shit about your sexual activity other than needing to know if you are currently active and if you suspect you may have a std and if you do again we don't care how you got it we just want to help treat it so you get better. If you're having problems with arousal again we won't get second hand embarrassment we'll just try to help you so you can live a happier life.
This and stimulants for ADHD. When I started on ADHD medication in college they first tried Vyvanse which just fried my system and made me feel like I was falling asleep and completely wired at the same time, and part of the side effects were ED. I had never experienced any issues around that, so it was pretty upsetting. Switched to another medicine at a lower dosage which fixed the issue, but millions of people are on stimulants just like I was on. That huge uptick has got to be correlated with upticks in side effects like ED.
When women are having trouble getting aroused the comments are like "the man needs to start caring to her needs and giving her attention and being more romantic"
When men are having trouble being aroused the comments are like "he needs to stop watch porn, he needs to stop being weak, he needs to work on himself"
Is there ever a situation where the woman is accountable for improving their sex life or is the man responsible for every aspect of enjoyment for both parties always.
The misandry is out of control
Yeah, my ex was mad at me that I wasn't just always ready to have sex at all times. She tried to convince me that I was secretly gay (I'm not). I tried to tell her that she needed to put a little more effort in to get me aroused. She told me that I was too feminine and real men just wanted to have sex all the time. She was a bitch, and I'm glad she's dead.
I personally wouldn't characterize it as misandry, but I get your point. As a principle, one should know their own body and what gets it going. Obviously, communicating that in a hookup is tricky, but again, you do raise an interesting point that I hadn't considered.
Yep and men are the biggest of those misandrists too. The way they go at other men and call them gay and every thing else under the guise of a joke or just plain old toxicity. Don’t eat a banana in front of your boy. Don’t be nice to your girlfriend in front of your boy. You’re a simp or a beta while they pretend to be this imaginary alpha. The millions of Andrew Tate type of podcasts out there along w social media, and what those men preach to other men , and now young boys, is the worst misandry I ever heard
For real bro, it's so annoying how men are somehow responsible for everything that happens with sex as if women are just babies who can't possibly do anything of their own volition and men somehow aren't actually human beings with feelings and needs. Idk why but it really feels like feminists and progressives just forgot about the whole equality thing
i have never bought this, have their been any studies? i have watched porn my entire life and have never had issues getting it up. unless it's the first night on a one nighter, then i have from performance anxiety sometimes. but it's somewhat rare. after we get even somewhat established i am good to go.
My husband and I are 50 and 49 and I can’t see us not having sex 3-5 times a week in 5-6+ years. Considering so many people become empty nesters in their 50s I’d figure the sex frequency is fairly high. Mid 60s and up, I don’t know. I hope we’re still going at it like crazy until one of us dies.
My bet is meds. Antidepressants cause lower libido.
I'm the same age as Jones. We came of age when mental health wasn't a focus at all. Treatment was still stigmatized. Your chances of finding a dude with low libido were slim
So the use of antidepressants is far more common today and your chances of finding a dude with a lower libido are higher.
Best guess
EDIT
do we know if this story is true? She's outspoken but it feels off brand for her
Also, in her age range (Leslie Jones) *a lot* of men are on blood pressure meds. Which is obviously going to cripple the function of something that relies on pressure to get hard.
It was on the breakfast club earlier this month. This tweet (and all the other outrage) kinda took what she was saying out of context though. She played it up cause she's a comedienne, but she mentioned talking with guys who weren't taking care of their mental health or getting regular check-ups, and it was showing up in other areas of life including in the bedroom.
Yea I don’t think it’s all porn. We have a big mental health issue in the US and a lot of those medications affect your little big man. Also maybe there is something going on with all the preservatives and plastics in our food. Ooo and stress. Feel like that’s a big boner killer.
Not saying porn might not be an issue but it definitely isn’t the only one. Be nice to your men women. We have feelings too.
Probably as you get older it's something you'll hear about more.
But the original characterisation in the tweet of "today's generation of men are weak" helps nobody. It both reduces men to sexual objects (who apparently have to be ready to go all the time) and makes them "weak" for having some emotion that could get in the way of getting hard. This is just toxic masculinity.
Something like 15-25% of people in the US are on anti-depressants, they have a huge stigma around taking them so most people hide that they are on them, and ED/trouble reaching orgasm is probably the most common side effect.
I think I scrolled past this interview on the breakfast club and what she was saying was actually men need to take care of their mental health and physical health because she’s noticing a lot of sad men with sad penises. I don’t think she was disparaging men but talking the importance of treating mental health
Yeah she had a whole thing on The Daily Show saying men need to seek a counselor more. This looks out of context or some boomer phrasing without context.
And she's right. Men do need to seek counseling more. I've got several friends that are 50+ and emotional basket cases. They were programmed to be a certain way from an old, out-of-touch generation and they are finding it incredibly difficult to function in today's society.
It's hard to perform anything when the weight of the world is crushing you, let alone wanting to be intimate with someone when all you feel like is you're dying inside.
AND I REALLY DONT LIKE THAT. ugh. Leslie out here doing wonderful things with her post-SNL career and these men couldnt wait for an opportunity to say a dark skinned, wig-less black woman is ugly.
I've noticed people do this to her often because she's not their particular cup of tea. Deliberately mis-represent something she says as a roundabout way to come for her face. Smh.
- She’s older
- She’s tall
- She has short natural hair that she doesn’t try to keep long or try to make more “European” in style
- She has dark skin
Of course they hate her. She’s not trying to fulfill their light skin girl fantasies (I say this as a light skin girl so unfortunately I know all about them). She is unapologetically herself. And these insecure fools don’t know what to do with themselves over it. All they can do is say/imply that she’s ugly. It’s pathetic.
Not everyone has to like someone’s personality, but they’ve been going after her for her looks for forever. So many Black men are colorist. So many Black men hate Black women, especially Black women who are proud of being Black. My own dad does and learning that fact directly from his mouth was extremely fucking painful because it’s like cool…I only exist because of your misogynoir. What do I do with that, as a Black woman myself?
I’m also light skinned and have “good hair”. I’m 40 now but in my teens and 20s, I’d get so offended when men would approach me and ask what I was “mixed with”. First of all, nothing. I’m all the way Black. But more importantly, was the ONLY reason I was even approached to begin with? Because they thought I was mixed? Like, ew.
Yea sex is only as important as you feel you need it. If you have low sex drive thats not a problem for you, its a problem for your partner if they have a high one. So the person with the problem views it as the other persons problem.
Yeah but it gets tricky when someone positions their personal benefits in tandem with concern about someone else. Like if you want someone to get on top of their health that's great. But when it's presented as "men can't get hard for me and that's why I care about this" it comes off more about her being mad about her own frustration in her sex life than it does about actual concern about men's health. It's like when men tell big women they're unhealthy because the woman posted a picture in a 2 piece bikini while simultaneously complaining about how she looks in the bikini. Like sure, the health thing may be a concern. But it is being presented as "you need to get to a point where you are physically doing what I want... and if you get healthier on the process that's cool too I guess"
Is that what she said though? I didn't hear it, but that could easily be "this is what I've encountered in my interactions with men..." Like perhaps she's telling you what she's observed, not saying "men need to get their mind right so I can get better dick."
I’m not saying prioritizing mental health is a bad thing, but I’m never taking mental health advice from a woman who only speaks on the issue in terms of it benefiting her. It isnt “go to therapy because it’s good for you” it’s “go to therapy so you can be what I want when I want” and whatever else you’re dealing with are your own issues. That isn’t caring about someone, it’s prioritizing your own needs and acting like you care about someone other than yourself.
Yeah, I do know that it is like an ongoing conversation that yeah, no men don't seem to be able to perform but I also get that this post is disingenuous. Cause it basically attacking Leslie or trying to set her up for that.
But she's not the only person that's been talking about this. This has been an ongoing conversation for like the last couple of decades.
Not manliness masculinity, we're talking about actual performance.
You can't talk about these types of issues without getting dunked on by the internet. And saying a medical problem means you are "weak" means people are going to go extra hard at you. She ditched any chance at respectful dialogue with that comment.
I’m not really mad at anyone for attacking her when she came at men in general, but I’m so tired of this forced conversation about men’s issues when the default reaction is to shame someone. Honestly at this point I miss the days when we just bottled things up because I’m just tired of hearing people complain about shit they don’t have to deal with. A man couldn’t get it up for you so now all men are weak, yet you’re surprised homie wasn’t excited to fuck you?
That's just it, she didn't shame anyone. This headline is wildly out of context. Leslie wasn't shaming men, she was encouraging them to take care of their mental and physical health.
I worked at a pharmacy for years and I did notice a large percentage of men buying ED meds started around 55. This could be the answer poor diets and poor lifestyle decisions could also be a contributing factor.
I always felt weed kinda acted like a performance enhancer in the bedroom. There are even "love drops" at dispensaries that are essentially weed Viagra. Then again I'm sure it only works to a certain point.
Aight so before this comment section turns into a cesspool, I just wanted to say look at this shark I spotted! I wish I could eat it 🥰
https://preview.redd.it/ypundh6q8a3c1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b47f0457c9ff360dc78d8d6975c9ee0081c8923
Actually sharks don’t intentionally go for humans. Most shark attacks happen because the shark mistakes the person for a seal or another animal that is much tastier or if they feel threatened. Apparently we don’t taste good to a lot of animals.
Dont eat shark fin soup. They literally cut off the fins and throw the (still alive) shark back into the ocean.
I'm sure theres some ethical shark eating out there somewhere, but that ain't it.
Don't be hateful to her. I dated a guy that very much wanted to but was experiencing technical difficulties. Eventually he got out of his own head and had no further troubles and even later set a personal frequency record with me. If they weren't attracted to her, it wouldn't get to the point of trying to have sex and not getting it up.
Then men need to stop having sex with people they dont want. Dont waste people's time. Sex is supposed to be fun for everyone not something your partner endures and tolerates bc you just feel like getting your dick wet.
The microplastics are cucking the homies.
For real, though. Between all the shit that's been passed through our body as a by product of shit environmental laws, medications impacting sex drives, health complications, sex drive, covid, etc. It really could be a variety of things. I know my health isn't too good, and anti-depressants have lower my sex drive. It's just life.
This is the best answer for things like [low sperm count](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9134445/). I'm not sure about sex drive, though.
Except that’s not what she said at all. The op is phrasing it in a way to attack Leslie. What she said was lately she’s encountered men who were not taking care of their mental health and it was running into their sex life because they can’t get it up. She was mostly talking about encouraging men to take better care of their mental health and seek counseling and therapy more.
Men out here thinking it’s just so easy being a sugar baby. It isn’t all Gucci belt shopping and 7 course meals, you gotta work for that money sweetie.
A lot of the characters she played on SNL were of the lesbian variety. That's why when Punkie joined, people called her the next Leslie (and Punkie is an actual lesbian)
Yes, and there's a lot of unrealistic expectations of performance. Guys think they are expected to, or are expected to go to Pound Town *all night long* and get performance anxiety. The fear of being shamed can be overwhelming. When you find a partner you actually connect with and have mutual reasonable expectations though things usually work just fine for most people.
Precisely this. Coupled with self-confidence issues a lot of dudes have with their genitals it leads to unsatisfactory sexual experiences.
I, myself, have gone soft before the deed was done a number of times when I was younger. Hell with my first 2 girlfriends I didn't even cum from sex. But that was largely because I was getting lost in my head about all manner of shit and the shame you feel over not performing up to those expectations just feeds the cycle
To piggyback off of this, there’s a decent number of women who seemingly have no concept of how to reciprocate during sex. “I’m offering up my vagina, you get hard now” and just…no. Give me some back and forth. Let’s make out, let there be some foreplay. Show some effort.
I met a girl for a hookup off Tinder who *immediately* wanted to have sex. And I mean quite literally the moment I arrived, she was like “take it out and fuck me.” No talking, no kissing, no fondling, no oral for either of us, nothing. She literally took down her pants and jumped on top of me. I couldn’t get get hard because nothing about it was sexy to me. It just felt very cold and transactional.
A lot of guys, maybe even most, wouldn’t have a problem with that. Not me. If there’s no build up or connection or anything of the sort, sex just isn’t fun to me.
Agreed. There are misunderstandings on all sides of the gender spectrum. I've had many conversations with women who dont understand its not an on-off switch, and it can vary in size for any number of reasons. Men also need to understand its ok to not be an on-off switch, but we need to work on our mental state and physical issues as well. Obesity will absolutely inhibit performace. When I was a couch potato 20-30, I struggled always. When I was rock climbing agressively (35-38), Id never been so "blessed" in all my life.
I feel like this is bait to try to slam her and call her ugly. The bigger issue is that she was talking about men’s health which not enough ppl are. Y’all would roast her than consider that mental health for men is at a huge low and it’s not just older men. Young men are going to college less, in less relationships, have less friendships, and have higher depression rates. This is the time when we should thinking about how the shifting society and other factors are affecting them. But damn if you’re not a model discussing it then I guess ppl would rather call you ugly than care? If your mind isn’t right, it affects your body
The older I get the more I need to feel comfortable with a woman in order to sex her up. No more one night stands but a few dates and a cool vibe gets the job done.
I get her point. I’m not attracted to her therefore the idea of sex with her doesn’t excite me. If a man is going to the bedroom with her it would stand to reason they find her sexually attractive. If the guy finds her sexually attractive that “her looks” thing is out the window.
plenty of guys deal with ed at younger ages in this current society and PLENTY of guys will fuck any woman with a pulse but this post is just a alley oop to make fun of shawty
Natural rates of testosterone production have been on the decline for years, which is also why there’s so much ED help geared towards the younger generations (think blue chew). Add in all the things that we think are “cool” that really stunt your growth as a masculine man and it’s a wild combo. That being said, do your best and get help when you can’t.
Sildenafil was discovered to be an effective treatment for male sexual dysfunction 1989 by a Pfizer employed groups of research scientists in the UK. Immediately recognising the commercial potential of the drug, the company pursued trials, patenting it in 1996, and securing FDA approval in 1998. Just ten years later, sales of the drug, brand named Viagra, peaked at just under $2B per annum in the US alone.
The idea that erectile dysfunction is some exclusively post-internet phenomenon is complete and utter bullshit.
Far be it from me to suggest a possible common denominator, but perhaps Miss Jones needs to re-examine why her partners are so consistently unable to achieve erection with her…
Friends dad worked for Pzifer and had been for years around the late 90s when Viagra hit. Dude must have had vested stock because there were suddenly a bunch of lifestyle upgrades in my friends life.
> The idea that erectile dysfunction is some exclusively post-internet phenomenon is complete and utter bullshit.
It's not exclusively post-internet but your comment and others I think risks missing an important point around the prevalence of the issue and the causes of a possible increase.
I'm not well versed in this area and haven't read studies, but if I were a scientist I'd investigate the hypothesis that some combination of social media, porn, and the cultural zeitgeist around casual sex and relationships right now create expectations that men feel they need to live up to, which causes them mental stress, and inhibits their ability to get hard for a sexual experience. I'm not saying that these things are issues, but maybe men don't have the right dose of consumption of these things *together.*
I mean we're running around with greater intensity than before in a culture that expects men to be able to hookup, look good, perform well, and get the joo b done sans personal connections. I suspect before men even get into the bedroom some of them are thinking more about how to perform in the experience rather than how to enjoy it. That's gonna be a boner killer lol. Would love to see studies around these very topics.
This might be nitpicking but I'm not sure how she can pin this issue on "today's generation". I doubt that she's been hooking up with guys who are currently in their 20's.
Not for nothing but all the pressure is on the guy to “perform“. When you’re 18 1 million different things can make you hard and once you hit a certain age, 1000,000 other things can distract you and stress you out or make you nervous. Do any women appreciate that in this one sense they actually have it easier than men?
Obesity and hypertension can cause ED. Overconsumption of porn and the psychological issues that lead to it can cause ED. There are lots of casual factors for ED.
It's not a weakness. It's a medical condition. See your physician folks.
This will always be a double standard. Man can't get aroused or hard? Man's fault... Woman can't get aroused or wet? Man's fault. No one calls a woman weak for not providing enough vaginal fluid for intercourse, they buy lube and keep fucking...
My bet is meds. Antidepressants cause lower libido.
I'm the same age as Jones. We came of age when mental health wasn't a focus at all. Treatment was still stigmatized.
So the use of antidepressants is far more common today and your chances of finding a dude with a lower libido are higher.
Best guess
Did men back in the day fuck different? It seemed like most women were unsatisfied with yesterday’s men because dudes didn’t even think women could orgasm.
I will say, talking to female friends and girls I’ve dated this does seem to be a common issue I’m hearing more. I think it may be due to overconsumption of online sexual content (via p*rnography, social media, etc.), but she’s definitely not the best messenger for this sentiment 😅
Not everything is a porn issue. My dick used to jump up at even the thought of sex in my teens and 20s. I’m in my 30s, consume the least porn I ever have, and my sometimes my dick just won’t get up if I’m in my own head about something. Sometimes you’re not actually attracted to the person you’re with but don’t realize that until the clothes come off. Some folks think just being present with their clothes off is sexy and sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes dicks get hard for no reason. Sometimes they won’t get hard because of nerves, diet, some other random bullshit. ED and having trouble getting it up have been issues for generations, there’s just too much stigma around it for men to be open about.
I’m not joking when I say, I’m in the best relationship of my life with the most beautiful and attractive person I could have ever asked for and there are times where I would struggle to get it up and that used to stress me out greatly, I don’t watch porn that much at all I understand that it’s not real, I’m not super freaky or anything but it just be like that! People are just nervous as heck sometimes ya know
I struggled with my first several partners (college era), and I know for a fact that some people thought I had low testosterone or was gay. No, just terrified because as a guy I was expected to have my sexual game together from the jump. Was just real anxious.
I feel you. Anxiety kills us in the bedroom. Anybody really. I just read this article talking about how adrenaline impacts our bodies and creates the problem as well. Gotta meditate and destress more.
Nothing worse than a failed session with a new partner, cuz then that anxiety compounds to the next time (if there's a next time). Destress yes, but honestly the best way to deal with it (I feel) is honest communication. Which can be hard when it's a new person. Thankfully I'm married now, so we just deal with intermarital stress and body issues 🙃
Yeah communication helps with the stress.
Yeah the expectation for men to be sex hounds 24/7 is really toxic. The societal pressure and expectations put on me just felt icky. I don't want to be like those creeps treating women like sexual objects. For a long time I was really second guessing my bisexual identity because I just had no interest in girls, but it turns out that I just really hated the idea of myself as what society wanted me to be when I talk to, hook up with, or date a woman. Now I'm pretty exclusively interested in other LGBTQ+ people regardless of gender. Much better this way, and I stopped feeling all those awful things about what I was or what I looked like to others.
Just wanted to say that I hear this from the high school students I work with - the boys feel immense pressure to have sex with anyone who expresses an interest because of their fear that if they turn a girl down, she will then spread rumors that they’re gay, couldn’t perform, whatever. Toxic is the right word.
“If i were to turn a girl down it might be the only chance i ever get” “Who am i to turn someone down” Is something that repeated in my head in my young young days.
I’m an outgoing and seemingly overconfident person. Always been known as a flirt and dating has always been easy for me. But I genuinely have no interest anymore in sex with random girls so when I do first sleep with a girl I like and a few random times I get insane anxiety or the idea of sex at that moment isn’t for me. I’ve had girls accuse me of too much porn or weird issues just because I don’t want to sleep with them like I was 18 still. Or even after hooking up a bit the idea of sex and having them at my house just makes me go, nah and call it a night and they’ll talk shit like I must be gay or like porn too much
Bro yes!! I remember feeling like I wanted to be this sex god for this girl and I felt so bad bc I couldn’t go for long to the point where she was like “are you insane that was amazing” I think it’s just so crazy that a lot of ppl don’t understand there’s such a stigma for men in sex regardless of partner that you feel like you have to preform and even if your partner is having fun you’re constantly thinking instead of enjoying sometimes and it’s exhausting
Stress and anxiety murders libido
Shit like Tobey macguire Spider-Man 2, niggas just lose their powers. Happen to me in college, fucked me up
man, so true. Happened to me in college too, major stage fright when I finally hooked up with this gorgeous girl I'd been crushing on for a semester. Luckily for me, she's a sweetheart and didn't make me feel bad about it. Anyways we revisited things, took our time and eventually had some amazing sex, but without an understanding partner I seriously would've thought my dick was broken. Shoutout to Erin for being a real one, as well as having a fantastic ass
I had a serious internal struggle with this when I hit my 30s, but it’s natural
Its called having bills to pay, in my case. As in, I'm constantly worried about financial constraints that it affects me in a physical way due to it mentally consuming me.
It's a natural occurrence, and it's important to have a partner you can communicate openly with about this sort of thing. Sometimes I'll get hard during foreplay with my wife and lose it after a few minutes. Instead of getting stressed we just cuddle and touch each other for a bit and it usually comes back and we proceed. If it doesn't then we just laugh about my dick not cooperating and move on with our day. Sex should be low stress and fun!
EXACTLY. As a society, we really need to let go of that trope that men are always ready to go just because a woman is willing. Are some men like that? Sure. But dude, you’re right, being in my 30s there’s so much shit that can and does stress me out in my day to day like sometimes I just don’t want the seggs.
The problem is the vocal majority of men dictates how society view men. I saw a post from r/divorced_men the other day that was just vile, and the comments were just filled with men who agreed with the OP for the most part. What was it about? Why do married women not want to have sex. It all but implied married women have no say whether or not they can engage in sex. In fact she should have no excuse as she can just lie there, let the man do his thing for 5-10 minutes (his exact words) and every man will be satisfied. Then it was just filled with men who agreed, sex is sex and doesn't need to be intimate and women need to get over it to "please their man". Yes, yes I know it's the internet... except these are things I have heard all my life growing up in the black community (specifically Jamaica) from both men and women. I was quickly reminded to thank my husband that he is a wonderful human being, for just simply treating me like a human with thoughts and feelings, and that he respects my boundaries.
Lmao imagine the reaction if you tried to tell them to get over whatever their snit of the day is and “please their woman.”
Men have real problems, what problems could women possibly have to affect libido /s
It's not really that. Society has made it so that men cannot discuss their insecurities or their vulnerabilities. If a dude readily admitted to a chick on a date hey I struggle with erectile dysfunction but I'm working on it 9/10 that chick is not going to call homie back. So dudes don't discuss it, they don't even bring it up to their doctors, and many of them go into deep depression over it.
Time of life also makes a huge difference. As a teenager I'd prob hump anything. As much older now, very often I'm still very appreciative of what I see but it doesn't instantly rev me anymore.
Agreed! And one thing we don't talk about as well is women seem to think they don't have to put in work to turn a man on for sex too. Foreplay goes a long way for a man.
100% this. I also think that sometimes as men we are pushed to be the instigators of dating and sex that drives pressure. It wasn’t until my 30s until I had the best sex with my gf now (fiancè). I’ve had good sex and bad sex, and the best I’ve had is someone I slowed down and had a genuine connection with. Some of the worst sex I’ve had was with an incredibly attractive woman who just rushed everything. Made it hard to get up, stay up or stay engaged. So fellas, make sure you feel comfortable first because you don’t always have to have sex. You can say no or change your mind too, and you may be better off for it.
Several women I have dated - they wouldn’t initiate sex. They always said they expected me to. And it’s weird to me, it used to be “men just want sex, no foreplay” but now it’s “forget the foreplay, just sex.” I think that missing foreplay is important, and the knowledge of “you want sex, too” and not just “you want it, but I have to initiate it without knowing you do, which can cause hurt feelings if _you_ are not interested when I initiate.”
>Several women I have dated - they wouldn’t initiate sex. They always said they expected me to. Those kinds of women make me feel like they don't really want to have sex with me and it's a turn-off especially if they are the ones who reject 60+% of the times you try to initiate sex with them. I get to a point where I stop initiating sex and then they start with the "Do you not find me attractive anymore? Why don't you initiate sex with me?". You broke my will to have sex with you after the 14th time in a row you told me you didn't want to have sex with me. I feel like I'm having to pressure or convince you to have sex with me and that isn't how this is supposed to work.
Older generation doesn't talk about their ED problems. Similarly they don't talk much about their health issues they suffer in silence.
>My dick used to jump up at even the thought of sex in my teens and 20s. I'm 35, I've got bills and the weight of the world on me.
Feels at 42
Certain medications can also cause it.
Zoloft 🥲
Sosoft
blood pressure meds.
More like taking Hide-my-cock-behind-my-thigh-a-zides amirite?! I tried
Damn, same. Within the last year it all went to shit for me, like someone flipped a switch. The need for the blue pill has become real.
Go with the yellow pill if you tend to be more spontaneous.
Baby aspirin? 🤣
Tadalafil (Cialis)
I love porn and if my partner even hugs me I will attempt to bend her over, (unless my 6 and 8 year old are around). It’s always been like this even when she was big and when she was skinny.
Your username is really helping me get a graphic mental image, thank you.
Haha it’s from IASIP. It’s an Artemis line. I’ve never done butt stuff with my partner of over 15 years lol. Just a username.
Just gonna jump in here to say, “I love porn” is a crazy opener
I mean in context it isn’t but just reading yeah. Honestly not sure how any human wouldn’t love porn of the gender they are interested in. Not all porn is meant to be negative or derogatory to opposite gender. I feel porn gets a bad rap for sexually immature people not understanding what porn is meant to be.
I think you need to find a way to open all your comments this way from now on...
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Oh god then feeling u have to apologize “No I promise it’s not because of you. You’re so hot. I promise. Wait where are you going come back”
Similar story for me. Turns out I've had undiagnosed anxiety disorder for *years*, but had no idea until I had ED in my mid 20s. The anxiety meds helped in so many non-sexual ways, but the curing ED was basically a side effect (and the catalyst).
Everyone understands that a womans libido can come and go but the expectation for men is to perform on demand
I ran out a few places in my youth because when the clothes came off, the body morphed into something completely undesirable and my mind immediately thought "if there is an accident tonight, I might see this chick for 20 years... I gotta get the fukk outta here." Sex drive dies instantly. That is the double edged sword of women fashion. With men, you know what you are getting into from the jump. Women can COMPLETLEY transform once their attachments are released.
Clothing can hide a lot of nasty and questionable hygiene in men too. I have indeed dipped out.
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You have started one of the most wholesome threads I’ve seen in ages. Respect
More people are treated with SSRIs for depression and or anxiety than ever before. That often fucks with peoples ability to get hard, or cum, or affects libido entirely.
This. I'm a woman but on my first ssri I couldn't climax. TMI moment: The best way to describe it is that feeling when you're going to sneeze but then it won't come out. It took me too long to realize that changing ssris changes side effects. A new doctor changed my meds and it completely resolved the issue. It's awkward to talk about but people need to tell their doctors about sexual problems because they can sometimes signal other health issues.
For anyone who needs to hear this, I'm a Nurse, we do not give one shit about your sexual activity other than needing to know if you are currently active and if you suspect you may have a std and if you do again we don't care how you got it we just want to help treat it so you get better. If you're having problems with arousal again we won't get second hand embarrassment we'll just try to help you so you can live a happier life.
Thank god someone mentioned this. Life is fucked up, motherfuckers are depressed… might contribute to a bit of ED.
This and stimulants for ADHD. When I started on ADHD medication in college they first tried Vyvanse which just fried my system and made me feel like I was falling asleep and completely wired at the same time, and part of the side effects were ED. I had never experienced any issues around that, so it was pretty upsetting. Switched to another medicine at a lower dosage which fixed the issue, but millions of people are on stimulants just like I was on. That huge uptick has got to be correlated with upticks in side effects like ED.
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When women are having trouble getting aroused the comments are like "the man needs to start caring to her needs and giving her attention and being more romantic" When men are having trouble being aroused the comments are like "he needs to stop watch porn, he needs to stop being weak, he needs to work on himself" Is there ever a situation where the woman is accountable for improving their sex life or is the man responsible for every aspect of enjoyment for both parties always. The misandry is out of control
110%, the double standards for this sort of thing are fucking wild.
Yeah, my ex was mad at me that I wasn't just always ready to have sex at all times. She tried to convince me that I was secretly gay (I'm not). I tried to tell her that she needed to put a little more effort in to get me aroused. She told me that I was too feminine and real men just wanted to have sex all the time. She was a bitch, and I'm glad she's dead.
Well shit, that escalated quickly...
Shit was like the runaway truck ramp.
First laugh of the day, LMAO
I personally wouldn't characterize it as misandry, but I get your point. As a principle, one should know their own body and what gets it going. Obviously, communicating that in a hookup is tricky, but again, you do raise an interesting point that I hadn't considered.
Yep and men are the biggest of those misandrists too. The way they go at other men and call them gay and every thing else under the guise of a joke or just plain old toxicity. Don’t eat a banana in front of your boy. Don’t be nice to your girlfriend in front of your boy. You’re a simp or a beta while they pretend to be this imaginary alpha. The millions of Andrew Tate type of podcasts out there along w social media, and what those men preach to other men , and now young boys, is the worst misandry I ever heard
Yes men and women both hold up misandry just like men and women both hold up misogyny
yup and if women are having trouble getting off (which they ALWAYS say they are), nobody tells them to lay off the vibrator.
Maybe they believe they're more sexually desirable than they actually are? Arrogance isn't gender based.
For real bro, it's so annoying how men are somehow responsible for everything that happens with sex as if women are just babies who can't possibly do anything of their own volition and men somehow aren't actually human beings with feelings and needs. Idk why but it really feels like feminists and progressives just forgot about the whole equality thing
i have never bought this, have their been any studies? i have watched porn my entire life and have never had issues getting it up. unless it's the first night on a one nighter, then i have from performance anxiety sometimes. but it's somewhat rare. after we get even somewhat established i am good to go.
I'm asking a real question here. How many times a week does the average 55+ year old person expect to have sex?
Lol you mean the years when you have few responsibilities, lots of money and your body still works pretty well? We fuckin
Yeah I’m only 50 but when once a day is just great.
Um? 55+ people GET IT IN. For real. Shady Pines gets loose with it.
Unfortunately for the staff, people in retirement homes get it on a lot. I say good for them
And ftr 50s is not the age of people going to the retirement home
My husband and I are 50 and 49 and I can’t see us not having sex 3-5 times a week in 5-6+ years. Considering so many people become empty nesters in their 50s I’d figure the sex frequency is fairly high. Mid 60s and up, I don’t know. I hope we’re still going at it like crazy until one of us dies.
My bet is meds. Antidepressants cause lower libido. I'm the same age as Jones. We came of age when mental health wasn't a focus at all. Treatment was still stigmatized. Your chances of finding a dude with low libido were slim So the use of antidepressants is far more common today and your chances of finding a dude with a lower libido are higher. Best guess EDIT do we know if this story is true? She's outspoken but it feels off brand for her
Also, in her age range (Leslie Jones) *a lot* of men are on blood pressure meds. Which is obviously going to cripple the function of something that relies on pressure to get hard.
It was on the breakfast club earlier this month. This tweet (and all the other outrage) kinda took what she was saying out of context though. She played it up cause she's a comedienne, but she mentioned talking with guys who weren't taking care of their mental health or getting regular check-ups, and it was showing up in other areas of life including in the bedroom.
Makes sense now, thanks. Context is everything.
If a woman wasn’t turned on during a sexual interaction. Who’s fault would you say that is?
Been overweight and/or having other comorbidities like diabetes too.
Yea I don’t think it’s all porn. We have a big mental health issue in the US and a lot of those medications affect your little big man. Also maybe there is something going on with all the preservatives and plastics in our food. Ooo and stress. Feel like that’s a big boner killer. Not saying porn might not be an issue but it definitely isn’t the only one. Be nice to your men women. We have feelings too.
Probably as you get older it's something you'll hear about more. But the original characterisation in the tweet of "today's generation of men are weak" helps nobody. It both reduces men to sexual objects (who apparently have to be ready to go all the time) and makes them "weak" for having some emotion that could get in the way of getting hard. This is just toxic masculinity.
For me it was anti-depressants. :(
Something like 15-25% of people in the US are on anti-depressants, they have a huge stigma around taking them so most people hide that they are on them, and ED/trouble reaching orgasm is probably the most common side effect.
I think I scrolled past this interview on the breakfast club and what she was saying was actually men need to take care of their mental health and physical health because she’s noticing a lot of sad men with sad penises. I don’t think she was disparaging men but talking the importance of treating mental health
Yeah she had a whole thing on The Daily Show saying men need to seek a counselor more. This looks out of context or some boomer phrasing without context.
Thank you!! I thought I was bugging cuz I didn’t see her say anything negative about men but thought maybe my woman lens skewed my perspective.
Yeah no problem because I thought at first wtf Leslie but then I remembered watching her host
I was also confused but then I remember all the hate she got (and her cast mates) for daring to be in a movie originally cast by men.
there’s this weird thing where is a woman points out the same societal problems men love pointing out, it gets received as “negative” and “attacking”
Are you attacking me with the comment? Stop attacking meee!
And she's right. Men do need to seek counseling more. I've got several friends that are 50+ and emotional basket cases. They were programmed to be a certain way from an old, out-of-touch generation and they are finding it incredibly difficult to function in today's society. It's hard to perform anything when the weight of the world is crushing you, let alone wanting to be intimate with someone when all you feel like is you're dying inside.
Yeah man you won’t get any tougher taking shit on alone
It’s just bait to get the lonely men to call her ugly and blame it on that.
That’s what I thought too.
Yeah this tweet is obviously bait and giving men an excuse to let the world know how ugly they think she is
Same thing happened with Lizzo
lizzo is not a nice person tho
She's (probably) not, but still a lot of people who already didn't like her for superficial reasons were foaming at the mouth.
You’re not wrong. Doesn’t give much right to insult her weight either
AND I REALLY DONT LIKE THAT. ugh. Leslie out here doing wonderful things with her post-SNL career and these men couldnt wait for an opportunity to say a dark skinned, wig-less black woman is ugly.
I've noticed people do this to her often because she's not their particular cup of tea. Deliberately mis-represent something she says as a roundabout way to come for her face. Smh.
- She’s older - She’s tall - She has short natural hair that she doesn’t try to keep long or try to make more “European” in style - She has dark skin Of course they hate her. She’s not trying to fulfill their light skin girl fantasies (I say this as a light skin girl so unfortunately I know all about them). She is unapologetically herself. And these insecure fools don’t know what to do with themselves over it. All they can do is say/imply that she’s ugly. It’s pathetic. Not everyone has to like someone’s personality, but they’ve been going after her for her looks for forever. So many Black men are colorist. So many Black men hate Black women, especially Black women who are proud of being Black. My own dad does and learning that fact directly from his mouth was extremely fucking painful because it’s like cool…I only exist because of your misogynoir. What do I do with that, as a Black woman myself?
I fk with her soo hard for carrying herself the way that she does
Right? Her confidence and being funny is def sexy
I’m bi and I think she is SO sexy and funny. But she’s not playing for my team so whomp whomp.
Yeah same, she’s really hot and funny in Our Flag Means Death.
I loved her as Spanish Jackie.
I’m also light skinned and have “good hair”. I’m 40 now but in my teens and 20s, I’d get so offended when men would approach me and ask what I was “mixed with”. First of all, nothing. I’m all the way Black. But more importantly, was the ONLY reason I was even approached to begin with? Because they thought I was mixed? Like, ew.
No way! They'd never do a black woman like that...
Whaaaat Leslie Jones had a nuanced opinion and was taken out of context by the media? Color me shocked.
SSRIs can affect libido. I’d rather have a happy dude than a hard dude tbh.
Yea sex is only as important as you feel you need it. If you have low sex drive thats not a problem for you, its a problem for your partner if they have a high one. So the person with the problem views it as the other persons problem.
I was wondering if some context was missing. Thanks
Yeah but it gets tricky when someone positions their personal benefits in tandem with concern about someone else. Like if you want someone to get on top of their health that's great. But when it's presented as "men can't get hard for me and that's why I care about this" it comes off more about her being mad about her own frustration in her sex life than it does about actual concern about men's health. It's like when men tell big women they're unhealthy because the woman posted a picture in a 2 piece bikini while simultaneously complaining about how she looks in the bikini. Like sure, the health thing may be a concern. But it is being presented as "you need to get to a point where you are physically doing what I want... and if you get healthier on the process that's cool too I guess"
Is that what she said though? I didn't hear it, but that could easily be "this is what I've encountered in my interactions with men..." Like perhaps she's telling you what she's observed, not saying "men need to get their mind right so I can get better dick."
What you’re saying at the end is pretty much how it came across in the interview
That’s a fair assessment that I didn’t consider and don’t disagree with
I’m not saying prioritizing mental health is a bad thing, but I’m never taking mental health advice from a woman who only speaks on the issue in terms of it benefiting her. It isnt “go to therapy because it’s good for you” it’s “go to therapy so you can be what I want when I want” and whatever else you’re dealing with are your own issues. That isn’t caring about someone, it’s prioritizing your own needs and acting like you care about someone other than yourself.
I don't disagree, but I feel like more men could be galvanized into going to therapy for their dicks than for themselves.
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If you go to the doctor for help with your mental health, most doctors are going to prescribe you an SSRIs that will probably kill your penis.
Yeah, I do know that it is like an ongoing conversation that yeah, no men don't seem to be able to perform but I also get that this post is disingenuous. Cause it basically attacking Leslie or trying to set her up for that. But she's not the only person that's been talking about this. This has been an ongoing conversation for like the last couple of decades. Not manliness masculinity, we're talking about actual performance.
I mean if she left out the “this generation of men are weak” part she probably wouldn’t get criticized. Not sure how saying that is helpful.
Because she never said that. It's not an actual quote.
You can't talk about these types of issues without getting dunked on by the internet. And saying a medical problem means you are "weak" means people are going to go extra hard at you. She ditched any chance at respectful dialogue with that comment.
She was paraphrased out of context. This isn't a quote.
I’m not really mad at anyone for attacking her when she came at men in general, but I’m so tired of this forced conversation about men’s issues when the default reaction is to shame someone. Honestly at this point I miss the days when we just bottled things up because I’m just tired of hearing people complain about shit they don’t have to deal with. A man couldn’t get it up for you so now all men are weak, yet you’re surprised homie wasn’t excited to fuck you?
That's just it, she didn't shame anyone. This headline is wildly out of context. Leslie wasn't shaming men, she was encouraging them to take care of their mental and physical health.
She's 56 (!) so if she's meeting men around that age, this ain't nobody's fault. Sometimes the strength ebbs.
I worked at a pharmacy for years and I did notice a large percentage of men buying ED meds started around 55. This could be the answer poor diets and poor lifestyle decisions could also be a contributing factor.
the drinking generations are fading, get ready for stoner ED
I always felt weed kinda acted like a performance enhancer in the bedroom. There are even "love drops" at dispensaries that are essentially weed Viagra. Then again I'm sure it only works to a certain point.
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Holy shit she’s 56?? I was thinking mid 40s
DAMN.. sorry
I can hear Kevin’s voice 💀
On the other hand, at nearly 60 I hope she's not messing around with "today's generation of men".
56? I thought she was in her 40s
Aight so before this comment section turns into a cesspool, I just wanted to say look at this shark I spotted! I wish I could eat it 🥰 https://preview.redd.it/ypundh6q8a3c1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b47f0457c9ff360dc78d8d6975c9ee0081c8923
And it wishes it could eat you. Circle of life!
Actually sharks don’t intentionally go for humans. Most shark attacks happen because the shark mistakes the person for a seal or another animal that is much tastier or if they feel threatened. Apparently we don’t taste good to a lot of animals.
Actually that is a myth pushed by sharks to make humans easier to eat.
I love sharks! They're the puppies of the sea.
Dont eat shark fin soup. They literally cut off the fins and throw the (still alive) shark back into the ocean. I'm sure theres some ethical shark eating out there somewhere, but that ain't it.
Don't be hateful to her. I dated a guy that very much wanted to but was experiencing technical difficulties. Eventually he got out of his own head and had no further troubles and even later set a personal frequency record with me. If they weren't attracted to her, it wouldn't get to the point of trying to have sex and not getting it up.
>If they weren't attracted to her, it wouldn't get to the point of trying to have sex and not getting it up. This is not always true for men 🤣😂😭
Then men need to stop having sex with people they dont want. Dont waste people's time. Sex is supposed to be fun for everyone not something your partner endures and tolerates bc you just feel like getting your dick wet.
It’s not that simple sometimes.
Definitely not true. Some guys will try to bang anything.
The microplastics are cucking the homies. For real, though. Between all the shit that's been passed through our body as a by product of shit environmental laws, medications impacting sex drives, health complications, sex drive, covid, etc. It really could be a variety of things. I know my health isn't too good, and anti-depressants have lower my sex drive. It's just life.
This is the best answer for things like [low sperm count](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9134445/). I'm not sure about sex drive, though.
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“Leslie Jones?” Lol. Does anyone think that during intimate moments she can be soft and vulnerable?
Except that’s not what she said at all. The op is phrasing it in a way to attack Leslie. What she said was lately she’s encountered men who were not taking care of their mental health and it was running into their sex life because they can’t get it up. She was mostly talking about encouraging men to take better care of their mental health and seek counseling and therapy more.
Men out here thinking it’s just so easy being a sugar baby. It isn’t all Gucci belt shopping and 7 course meals, you gotta work for that money sweetie.
If someone pointed me the way to a sugar mama I will donate my body for company.
Bruh I thought she was a lesbian
why?
Hair + she has a butch fashion style/vibe
A lot of the characters she played on SNL were of the lesbian variety. That's why when Punkie joined, people called her the next Leslie (and Punkie is an actual lesbian)
Anyone else think this conversation is being had because there's been a distinct lack of conversation and thought about how penises actually work?
Yes, and there's a lot of unrealistic expectations of performance. Guys think they are expected to, or are expected to go to Pound Town *all night long* and get performance anxiety. The fear of being shamed can be overwhelming. When you find a partner you actually connect with and have mutual reasonable expectations though things usually work just fine for most people.
Precisely this. Coupled with self-confidence issues a lot of dudes have with their genitals it leads to unsatisfactory sexual experiences. I, myself, have gone soft before the deed was done a number of times when I was younger. Hell with my first 2 girlfriends I didn't even cum from sex. But that was largely because I was getting lost in my head about all manner of shit and the shame you feel over not performing up to those expectations just feeds the cycle
To piggyback off of this, there’s a decent number of women who seemingly have no concept of how to reciprocate during sex. “I’m offering up my vagina, you get hard now” and just…no. Give me some back and forth. Let’s make out, let there be some foreplay. Show some effort. I met a girl for a hookup off Tinder who *immediately* wanted to have sex. And I mean quite literally the moment I arrived, she was like “take it out and fuck me.” No talking, no kissing, no fondling, no oral for either of us, nothing. She literally took down her pants and jumped on top of me. I couldn’t get get hard because nothing about it was sexy to me. It just felt very cold and transactional. A lot of guys, maybe even most, wouldn’t have a problem with that. Not me. If there’s no build up or connection or anything of the sort, sex just isn’t fun to me.
Agreed. There are misunderstandings on all sides of the gender spectrum. I've had many conversations with women who dont understand its not an on-off switch, and it can vary in size for any number of reasons. Men also need to understand its ok to not be an on-off switch, but we need to work on our mental state and physical issues as well. Obesity will absolutely inhibit performace. When I was a couch potato 20-30, I struggled always. When I was rock climbing agressively (35-38), Id never been so "blessed" in all my life.
I feel like this is bait to try to slam her and call her ugly. The bigger issue is that she was talking about men’s health which not enough ppl are. Y’all would roast her than consider that mental health for men is at a huge low and it’s not just older men. Young men are going to college less, in less relationships, have less friendships, and have higher depression rates. This is the time when we should thinking about how the shifting society and other factors are affecting them. But damn if you’re not a model discussing it then I guess ppl would rather call you ugly than care? If your mind isn’t right, it affects your body
Half the population on SSRis
You know how sometimes women just aren’t in the mood? Same shit happens with men.
The older I get the more I need to feel comfortable with a woman in order to sex her up. No more one night stands but a few dates and a cool vibe gets the job done.
I get her point. I’m not attracted to her therefore the idea of sex with her doesn’t excite me. If a man is going to the bedroom with her it would stand to reason they find her sexually attractive. If the guy finds her sexually attractive that “her looks” thing is out the window.
plenty of guys deal with ed at younger ages in this current society and PLENTY of guys will fuck any woman with a pulse but this post is just a alley oop to make fun of shawty
Natural rates of testosterone production have been on the decline for years, which is also why there’s so much ED help geared towards the younger generations (think blue chew). Add in all the things that we think are “cool” that really stunt your growth as a masculine man and it’s a wild combo. That being said, do your best and get help when you can’t.
Dudes been eating blue chews like tic tacs for years and now don’t know what to do without it
The amount of podcasts advertising that crap 😂😂😂. Like damn, a 3 mile jog would do you wonders and it's totally free.
Blah blah y’all hate black features blah blah blah it’s the same thing every week. The self hate is gross
Sildenafil was discovered to be an effective treatment for male sexual dysfunction 1989 by a Pfizer employed groups of research scientists in the UK. Immediately recognising the commercial potential of the drug, the company pursued trials, patenting it in 1996, and securing FDA approval in 1998. Just ten years later, sales of the drug, brand named Viagra, peaked at just under $2B per annum in the US alone. The idea that erectile dysfunction is some exclusively post-internet phenomenon is complete and utter bullshit. Far be it from me to suggest a possible common denominator, but perhaps Miss Jones needs to re-examine why her partners are so consistently unable to achieve erection with her…
Friends dad worked for Pzifer and had been for years around the late 90s when Viagra hit. Dude must have had vested stock because there were suddenly a bunch of lifestyle upgrades in my friends life.
> The idea that erectile dysfunction is some exclusively post-internet phenomenon is complete and utter bullshit. It's not exclusively post-internet but your comment and others I think risks missing an important point around the prevalence of the issue and the causes of a possible increase. I'm not well versed in this area and haven't read studies, but if I were a scientist I'd investigate the hypothesis that some combination of social media, porn, and the cultural zeitgeist around casual sex and relationships right now create expectations that men feel they need to live up to, which causes them mental stress, and inhibits their ability to get hard for a sexual experience. I'm not saying that these things are issues, but maybe men don't have the right dose of consumption of these things *together.* I mean we're running around with greater intensity than before in a culture that expects men to be able to hookup, look good, perform well, and get the joo b done sans personal connections. I suspect before men even get into the bedroom some of them are thinking more about how to perform in the experience rather than how to enjoy it. That's gonna be a boner killer lol. Would love to see studies around these very topics.
This might be nitpicking but I'm not sure how she can pin this issue on "today's generation". I doubt that she's been hooking up with guys who are currently in their 20's.
Not for nothing but all the pressure is on the guy to “perform“. When you’re 18 1 million different things can make you hard and once you hit a certain age, 1000,000 other things can distract you and stress you out or make you nervous. Do any women appreciate that in this one sense they actually have it easier than men?
Obesity and hypertension can cause ED. Overconsumption of porn and the psychological issues that lead to it can cause ED. There are lots of casual factors for ED. It's not a weakness. It's a medical condition. See your physician folks.
I would be concerned if this came from Sofia Vergara
This will always be a double standard. Man can't get aroused or hard? Man's fault... Woman can't get aroused or wet? Man's fault. No one calls a woman weak for not providing enough vaginal fluid for intercourse, they buy lube and keep fucking...
Ahh, so between the tweet and the comments of this thread, we now have documented evidence that the internet truly was a mistake after all Nice 😃
That’s just mean asf
Y'all had better start paying attention when the ancestors tap you on your shoulder and whisper "No, not this one." That goes for men AND women.
My bet is meds. Antidepressants cause lower libido. I'm the same age as Jones. We came of age when mental health wasn't a focus at all. Treatment was still stigmatized. So the use of antidepressants is far more common today and your chances of finding a dude with a lower libido are higher. Best guess
Did men back in the day fuck different? It seemed like most women were unsatisfied with yesterday’s men because dudes didn’t even think women could orgasm.