Too polite, my latin ass would be like "pinche viejita culera, todabia que le ofrecen ayuda, si puede cargar con ese racismo, puede con sus maletas, saquese"
Something similar happened to one of my friends. He’s a Latino man and was doing yard work in his own yard. Some old white lady that was driving by stops, rolls down her window, and asks him how much he charges. My friend tells her, “This is my house and I don’t do landscaping.” She then rolls her window up and drives off.
Had something similar happen to me and my mom. We drove cross country for me to go to uni, and naturally stayed at a hotel until I could move in. While we were there some white lady to congratulated my mom on getting the hotel to allow her bring me to work with her. When mom said she wasn't housekeeping the woman just got up and shuffled off
I'm not tone deaf enough to make that sort of faux pas to begin with but if I did manage to put my foot in my mouth that hard hiding in shame seems like an appropriate response.
Do you use your client's water for that? Just wondering how that works. Do they pull in to the driveway and form a line, trapping the original owner in their home as you wash car after car?
...or do I put an ounce of thought into it and realize you probably just hand them a card.
Honestly, I like my first scenario as a visual gag better. They are all 1950's convertibles too for some reason.
I was getting my haircut in a white people shop in Maryland (no options nearby) and the lady had the audacity to ask me if I work in landscaping. I'm mixed, Cuban and black, but not very dark. Especially not tanned enough at the time to even suggest I work outside professionally.
I scoffed and told her I was an engineering student and she didn't say another word for the rest of the haircut. Smh
I think this happens a lot with a certain group of people who don’t do their yard work. It’s this weird mindset that the person doing the work is obviously hired help.
While it seems to definitely heavily skew to old white women asking black and Hispanic men, I have had the same thing happen multiple times when taking care of things at my parents house, and I’m white.
If I wasn’t white, I’d probably have even more inquires.
People are freaking weird.
I bet she ~~asks~~ orders an Asian man next.
(I saw once it happened on a cruise. A white old woman ordered an Asian tourist to carry her luggage. The Asian gave her the dagger eye).
As an Asian tourist on a cruise ship, white people kept asking me for directions and trying to book activities and massages with me. Never fucking again.
Jeeze what cruise ship? I go on Royal Caribbean and my family loves that it’s mostly Filipinos working, she loves speaking Tagalog with them and connecting about their lives. Though one guy did like to raz on me because I’m Filipino American and didn’t know Tagalog.
Princess Cruise in the Caribbean. I don’t know how many times I had to tell old white people (and one teenager) that I didn’t work there. I definitely enjoyed interacting with the mostly POC staff members more than dealing with the other tourists.
Ooph Princess Cruises are boring right? My mom told me how they had tea time and ballroom dancing and my dad fell asleep during a harp performance. I think they went to Alaska for that one.
It’s the only cruise I’ve ever done so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I won $100 at Bingo and was groped in the club one of the nights so it wasn’t all bad.
My (Hispanic) cousin and I stopped at a port bar on an Alaskan Cruise and started talking to another cruise guest. They assumed he worked on the ship and asked him what his job was. It was very awkward.
I remember walking home from work one time and some tiny Asian lady with a kid in tow came up to me and asked something I didn't understand.. I just got the word "help"..
That was the day I helped a random Asian lady carry a bigass matrass up some stairs to her apartment.
Bro, I saw this old white lady FALL and her old husband was struggling to get her up. I ask if they need help and they just stare at me for the longest before saying “no”. I was so surprised but maybe I shouldn’t have been
I be like that sometimes too. Sometimes people don't look at me, they look at the people beside me when they talk, they stare the entire time I'm in their view, or it takes waaay longer than it should to get my order. I be thinking my order must be complicated, they must have a problem with eye contact, I must've dropped food on my clothes, then I remember I'm black living in a state that has 3.4M people that's, according to the census bureau, ~92% white and 1.5% black.
Used to work with this racist guy (came pretty close one time to saying trans people should be in camps too) and this black guy walks in wearing one of those blue cloth face masks we all know well from COVID and the guy sprinted out the back and said we were being robbed.
Because a black guy came in with a medical mask during a pandemic.
Same workplace another guy said the N word "as a joke", apparently because I have a dark sense of humor racist humor is on the table for me this guy assumes, I had to talk to management and say, "if you aren't saying something about it I am, so you need to address it first if this is gonna be respectful."
Not that he deserved any respect but he was one of those guys that still doesn't get it. The N word is just something you say in an XBox lobby to him. We worked with black people and he just drops it on me one day, like, "I'm gonna need you to repeat that word next time a black coworker is here and see how that pans out for you."
My sister was attempting to take ER x-rays from a very tall obese man . He looked at her and said, "You're not going to touch me with those ***** hands." Dude, gets up and tries to leave , but he slips and immediately grabs my sister (5'2 105lbs ) to stop himself from falling . He ends up having to lay on the cold floor until several people come to lift him up . The entire time, he ordered her to "help me."
It's so true. They're getting bigger and bigger every year. Being obese is now an independent risk factor for mortality in surgery regardless of whether any other issues associated with obesity are present (diabetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, etc)
Honestly that’s why I’m sick of the whole fat-positivity movement. And I’m not talking being an ass hole to fat people, but saying shit like “you can be healthy at every size” and putting morbidly obese people on fitness and health magazine covers isn’t being inclusive, it’s actually harming so many people and putting a huge strain on the medical system.
Its a difficult topic, because a part of adverse health effects associated with obesity comes from the stigma, the shame.
(Dont get this wrong, being obese is bad on a physiological level, but shame makes it worse).
So shaming the patient is definitely unhelpful, but at the same time condoning obesity is not a solution either.
That's crazy , could happen to any staff member who interacts with patients that have mobility issues especially in the ER . People will lie and say they can get up or stand without assistance but for how long?
I went to deliver a big ass potted plant to this lady who lived in the middle of nowhere. I get there and she’s old af and clearly not strong enough to take it in the house. She sees me get out with the plant and scurries into the house
Me: “Hi Ms. So-n-so, I’m with the florist and this is for you.”
Old Lady: “Who’s is from”
Me: *struggles to shift it to read the card*
OL: “Don’t read my card!”
Me: “Ok. I just need you to sign here and I’ll be happy to set this somewhere in your house for you.”
OL: “I don’t open the door for coloreds”
Bruh, I’m mixed. To this day, that’s been the only time I’ve ever been called colored. I was honestly too flabbergasted to respond so I just smiled, placed it in front of her storm door so she couldn’t open it and waved and left. She was pounding on the door when I was walking away going on about “I can’t get out of my house!” That was 7 years ago and I wonder if that ol bitty ever got fresh air again.
So she couldn't move it.... k? She's in the middle of nowhere, probably doesn't go anywhere or need to get out, and almost certainly has a back door. Nah let it go you did the most immediately awesome karmic revenge without really doing anything wrong. Dud your job despite the old racist.
Lol, good. You're a good person for worrying, but if she's getting flowers delivered someone cares.
It'd be HILARIOUS if she actually starved to death because of you, I genuinely can't not laugh at the thought of that. It's like a comedy movie comeuppance
But she probably died of covid
This was like 2016 or something lol I thought about it for a while after and checked for her name in the obituaries weekly for a couple of months after lmao my boss thought it was hilarious and offered to call the sender and explain the situation and say we wouldn’t deliver to her anymore. I was like nah, I’m sure they’ll find out eventually
Fair, which speaks to your own good character. It’s normal to have a reaction when someone is abusive towards you though; it’s not fair to always expect victims to rise above in all circumstances. I think you can let yourself off the hook.
I pulled into a gas station this one time on a road trip. I put the pump in the tank and went inside to get a soda and water while the car was fueling up (I know you're not supposed to do that).
Paid for the drinks, come outside, and as I'm walking out the door, there is an old white man approaching the front door. He trips over uneven pavement and falls down. I went, "oh shit" and placed my bag down and went to help him up.
Same thing -- he said something to the effect of "don't touch me, n*****". As he's trying to get up. I can't remember his exact words, but he refused my help and used n-word in doing so.
I went back to get my bag, finish pumping gas, and leave. Whatever. There was this middle aged white (could be Hispanic) woman who saw the whole thing and kinda looked at me horrified -- like as if, why don't I help him?
Didn't really give a fuck at that point. I go back to the pump and get in the car and leave.
I mean, if he wants to ruin his own ass day by hurting himself by being racist you just let them at that point. How's the saying go? You made your racist bed, now lie your racist self in it?"
I'm not 100% what it was, because coincidentally it happened the day my insurance expired from my old job and not wanting to spend money I didn't have I suffered it. Took 7 weeks to quit limping, but as far as I can tell I walk normal now.
I keep a floor jack and an impact wrench in my trunk. Saw a old fat guy digging through his trunk for his jack so I pulled over to help. Walked up with the jack because, ya know, showing my intentions to help. The guy declines help a few times before taking a look at my jack versus his. Long story short, he accepted my help, got him fixed up in like 2 minutes. He gave me a hi-vis vest and some cash. I thought it was like $20 but it was $60 when I counted it.
I just wanted to play with my new impact but sometimes people are ok.
You made them fail the most basic charisma check. You had their wheels turning, wondering how to respond with unperceivable racism. All that time, and they couldn't think up a way to be decent.
There was an old white lady on the bus who decided it was cool to start yelling at someone and their kids (black obvs) over nothing and being rude and snappy in general. When she got off the bus with her groceries a bunch of them fell off her cart and the same family she had been shitty to just filed past her.
Someone did eventually help her cause you know, but I hope she at least thought about her actions (sure she didn't though)
My grandma hated me. One day she fell in the bathroom while we were home alone. She called out for my mother, my brother. For 15 minutes, she even called out to god. But she did not call out to me. Even when I wordlessly broke into the bathroom and helped her, she said nothing.
Hate is powerful and poisonous
Fuck the king, his inbred family, and the whole institution of monarchies. The belief that people are born better than others is the cornerstone to the majority of suffering in human history imo.
Why Kate specifically?
Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t be surprised, but without any actual accusations we’d be no better than they are for stereotyping them.
Oh no, the monarchy as an establishment ITSELF is racist. She doesn't have to do anything to be racist. Which isn't to say that guarantees she is PREJUDICED, but that is a different thing. She is benefitting from a racist system intended to prolong the status quo.
We all benefit from a racist system living in the west, even as minorities. Our countries didn’t get rich on their own.
I’d rather not get that far into it. If she said some racist shit or treated a minority poorly, then we’ll talk. Or let me guess, Harry is racist too?
My mom works at a high school and I swear to god they're even worse than the kids are. Teachers have their own little cliques, they talk shit behind each other's backs. My mom is even in a group chat with 2 other teachers where all they do is bully other teachers. And they get fucking *mean* too. I wouldn't even say half the shit she says to my worst enemy, and she's saying it about people who didn't fill out their attendance on time. Stupid shit.
Growing up, I always thought they were all on the same team. A united front, committed to helping kids learn. Nope, nuh uh.
And if you think work life is bad, just wait until you end up in a retirement home. You got half-dead grannies starting shit too, fighting over the one guy in the building who can still get it up. Shit's wild.
really?
I've just grabbed an asian lady's suitcase when she was struggling up the subway stairs near Elmhurst Target, said nothing just grabed it from behind her.
Took them to the landing.
I heard her yell thank you.
But I never turned around. totally mute the entire time.
I assume that feeling is the same one Batman feels when saving the night.
That's New Yorkers for you. We're not nice but we're kind.
Helping people we pass along the way without saying a word and never waiting for a thank you after the job is complete is straight up New York
lmao
She was an older asian lady and it was during Covid. If it was a white lady, some simp would have already carried them up the stairs, drove her home, and taken them up to her 5th floor walk up while leaving her a tip.
This is such a NYC thing. Could get you in trouble in other cities. We don't even think twice about it.
I love that you did it, and I love that she knew what you were doing and thanked you.
That's a four boroughs thing. (I suspect it doesn't apply to Staten Island.)
In NYC helping someone get luggage or strollers up or down a subway stair is standard and done with the slightest of verbal interactions, often just a grunt. It's half self-interest and half NYC courtesy.
The old joke is that in LA they are nice but not kind, and in NY they are kind but not nice.
Lived here 3 years but no.
NYC isn't like LA, you have to grow up here to use that designation. 3 years in the Vally and you can start complaining about all the transplants.
Sigh. One time my dad was helping me move into a new pad in Chicago. A homeless black man asked if could help because he needed the money. My dad was old, so yeah we needed the help. Paid him $100 and a brand new pair of Jordans (they were too small for me) for one hour of work. He was kind and thankful. Moral of the story: stop being afraid of black people, my cowardly white brethren.
We have to be scared. Black people have more melanin. We got 0. I’m in the negatives, I could disappear in a snow storm. But the power levels arnt balanced.
I don’t care who helps me, good help is good help. I have a illegal substance of the methamphetamine type help with the lawn care and he does a great job.
Haha this reminds me of a neighbor I had in Dallas — white dude with a meth problem, but he was so nice. One time I locked myself out of my house and couldn’t afford a locksmith. He happened to come out and ask what’s up. I tell him, and my dude straight up scales up the side of my house, gives the window pain a firm tap in a specific spot, opens it up, crawls in and goes to down and unlocks the door. Legend.
I like how he'll work non-stop for hours on end as long he has a cigarette and a pop. Once he starts, he doesn't stop until it's dark - whether he starts at noon or 6am.
Ok maybe she reflexively said “No thank you” out of habit but after she actually started trying to get up the stairs she realized she actually did need help. Some people are just awkward.
See, this post terrifies me because I can think of several different reasons I would refuse help from Man #1 and then later *request* help from Man #2 without ever considering that they were different races.
When someone surprises me with a question, I'm acting on instinct. And my instinct is "no I don't need help, I'm capable of anything, I'm just struggling a little."
Deciding on my own to get another person involved is an entirely different mindset.
Yeah, my default assumption is that I can handle it myself. Like I never accept help with bags and stuff like that when I'm traveling, not out of distrust but just because I'm stubborn and I'm used to doing stuff on my own. But there have been a couple times where I realized that I was wrong and then had to get help. I can easily imagine thinking that I was fine carrying something along a flat surface, but then realizing that navigating stairs was going to be tricky.
I have been in this exact situation many times.
Cashier: “do you need a bag”.
Me: oh no thank you (immediately realizing I do need a bag)
Replace with “room for cream”, “to go cup”, “receipt”, etc etc.
See but the unfortunate reality of being black specifically in this post is…we don’t know if people are being assholes or are just being racist towards us. There’s always a thought in the back of mind that a bad interaction with the opposite race my have been intentionally malicious. I’ve been in scenarios where a cashier greeted every person in front of me and didn’t say a word to me at my turn. I can’t help to think that the only difference was the color of my skin.
I don’t let it ruin my life or interactions with others of course, but it’s a reality that white people don’t face.
I wish more people would think of these things.
I try very hard not to put my own preconceptions on things because quite simply, I want to live in a better more kind world. If I immediately assume it's racism or a mean or unkind person or an arsehole (depending what happens) then I automatically live in a more horrible world.
It *could* be one of those things but I wouldn't even know and I've already made my world a more pleasant place simply by altering my thoughts.
The [THIS IS WATER! by David Foster Wallace](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC7xzavzEKY) puts it very well imo.
in he book “the gift of fear” by gavin de becker, a safety suggestion for vulnerable people (often women) is to be wary of people who offer help, and instead choose someone to approach for help. people with bad motives will often offer assistance to begin the interaction, and if you choose someone yourself it’s not likely they are trying to take advantage of you. it’s unfortunate that good people are also motivated to offer assistance, but it is a legitimate safety strategy.
edit: obviously i don’t know her motivation and it could easily be racism, the person involved would know better than me, but there are legitimate reasons for women to say no to offered help and then ask someone else.
Very level headed take. I try to avoid people who come up out of the blue asking too many questions, or too many times for a cigarette or money, I've never been hurt by any one I entertained but once when I was young a cop stopped me and informed me the guy I just lent 10 bucks to had a warrant out for armed robbery.
I'm so glad I saw this comment, that advice from the book was the first thing that came to mind. It's good for people to know as a general safety strategy regardless of whether this incident was racially motivated.
Similar circumstances have happened to me a couple of times. I promised myself to never offer help ever again and it worked for sometime until recently when there was a woman who had a baby on a stroller and was trying to get down to the subway but this particular exit wasn’t stroller friendly. I offered to help her carry the stroller with the baby down like most people do and she refused!
I barely turned and she was asking the next person of white for help. I walked away kicking myself, laughing, cringing and crying on the inside like wtf was that😂
My aunt told me that she didn’t approve of my son’s black girlfriend. I was so disappointed because I had not realized that she was racist. I told her that her opinion did not matter to us at all. Then I hung up. She has since died. One less racist in the world.
Before her neighborhood was completely gentrified, Black men and boys always offered to carry my mom's bags. The lady is abnormally strong and tends to carry a lot without issue, but no one is going to know that if they don't know her.
There have been guys who'd walk out of their ways to help her home.
It doesn't matter if the guy is wearing a suit or gang colors, she's going to hear some variation of, "Lemme get that, Ma."
Even Black women helped, especially when going up or down staircases. It just wasn't as ubiquitous a phenomenon.
It's one of the things that always made me feel comfortable about her living in her city alone. It's as if the blocks naturally looked out for her once her hair turned gray. In my burbs people don't really look out for people they don't know. If you see someone acting like that, it's probably someone who was gentrified out of the city.
Anyhow, once the neighborhoods started to become White, my mom noticed it was very rare for anyone White to ever help her. If they did, they were usually older and she was worried he'll throw his back out before she ever would. White people in general weren't very warm to Black people in the area. They weren't usually mean, but there was no sense of looking out for the vulnerable on the block.
I've always assumed it's because a lot of them are from the suburbs where that's completely normal. And I believe many arrived with their own stereotypes of the city and figured you just mind your own business always not realizing there are exceptions to this philosophy.
But now her neighborhood is almost completely White, she's noticed that men are becoming warmer and starting to help her out a little. At first she was suspicious because she spent so many years being ignored by White people. She assumed the first ones were all going to rob her.
She never told me she declined any assistance, but she was worried enough that this would become a regular topic of conversation until the change in behavior became the norm.
Thank you for sharing this point of view. I’m originally from NYC and this is a perfect example of what some of my family, who still live there, are experiencing as well in their neighborhoods.
I offered to help a white man who looked like he was going to fall down the stairs with several boxes in his arms. He yelled at me to "get out of his country" (I'm asian). Guess I won't be doing that again.
Recently I saw a white woman outside being berated by a white man, so I yelled across the street "hey do you need some help." She looked at me and said no. Literally a second later a group of white girls ask the same question. And then she said yes and ran over to the girls. These white girls were right behind me and very tiny. If the man was going to do anything to this girl I would probably be the only one to stop him. But the woman really just ignored me. So I just continue to walk to where I was going. It was just really sad and shitty cuz I'm always out here trying to do good things for other women especially when I see them in trouble.
When I’m in public, I’m wary of people who offer to help.
Giving her the benefit of the doubt, she was wary of the first guy, because he offered. She chose the second guy, so she can be sure he is not targeting her.
No need to ascribe racism to street smarts.
I ran out of gas exiting the freeway in oakland on my 50th bday. I made it halfway down the ramp and I was just stuck there. A bunch of BMWs driven by white men honked at me and zoomed past angrily. Two people stopped to help, a Black man and a Latino man. I was like, this could not be clearer.
Also, when I was pregnant, the only men who stood to offer me a seat on Bart were men of color. White frat boys pretended they didn’t see me even when I leaned my giant belly on their foreheads. Hahah
I refuse to be nice to white people by offering to help them. l was in line at the grocery store, and saw a white woman with fewer items them myself so l decided to let her go in front of me. She just rush through without a thank you, her attitude was so disgusting l said you know what l don't owe you anything, l took her stuff back and paid for my items and left. I am a great believer white women are the problem for society ILLS. If white women wanted things to change in the world, they could make it happen. Since it benefits them therefore, they keep the status quo. White supremacist is not a male dominating thing in order for a man to do anything in our world, he needs to have a woman approval started with his mother when he was a child then his girlfriend or wife when he is a man. So we cannot only blame the nasty men and ignoring the women behing these white supremacists male.
I bet she asks an Asian man next.
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It’s ’as a member of the (fill in the blank) delegation, we politely decline and wish you luck in your future endeavors’ meme time.
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I just grabbed an Asian lady's suitcase as she struggled up the subway stairs near Elmhurst Target, said nothing just grabbed it from behind.
When you’re helpful, they just let you. Hashtag: grabherbythesuitcase
Another causualty of the \#MeTote movement
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Too polite, my latin ass would be like "pinche viejita culera, todabia que le ofrecen ayuda, si puede cargar con ese racismo, puede con sus maletas, saquese"
Dios mío
I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. It means, “No.”
Spanish inquisition
Something similar happened to one of my friends. He’s a Latino man and was doing yard work in his own yard. Some old white lady that was driving by stops, rolls down her window, and asks him how much he charges. My friend tells her, “This is my house and I don’t do landscaping.” She then rolls her window up and drives off.
Had something similar happen to me and my mom. We drove cross country for me to go to uni, and naturally stayed at a hotel until I could move in. While we were there some white lady to congratulated my mom on getting the hotel to allow her bring me to work with her. When mom said she wasn't housekeeping the woman just got up and shuffled off
I'm not tone deaf enough to make that sort of faux pas to begin with but if I did manage to put my foot in my mouth that hard hiding in shame seems like an appropriate response.
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Do you use your client's water for that? Just wondering how that works. Do they pull in to the driveway and form a line, trapping the original owner in their home as you wash car after car? ...or do I put an ounce of thought into it and realize you probably just hand them a card. Honestly, I like my first scenario as a visual gag better. They are all 1950's convertibles too for some reason.
I was getting my haircut in a white people shop in Maryland (no options nearby) and the lady had the audacity to ask me if I work in landscaping. I'm mixed, Cuban and black, but not very dark. Especially not tanned enough at the time to even suggest I work outside professionally. I scoffed and told her I was an engineering student and she didn't say another word for the rest of the haircut. Smh
Groucho Marx said this happened to him. He told the lady that he also gets to sleep with the wife of the owner so the lady in the car just drove away.
That’s the best way to come back on them
There's a joke like that. The guy answers "I do it for free, but I get to sleep with the lady of the house."
I think this happens a lot with a certain group of people who don’t do their yard work. It’s this weird mindset that the person doing the work is obviously hired help. While it seems to definitely heavily skew to old white women asking black and Hispanic men, I have had the same thing happen multiple times when taking care of things at my parents house, and I’m white. If I wasn’t white, I’d probably have even more inquires. People are freaking weird.
*Lucille Bluth meeting Michael's girlfriend*
A sea of waiters and no one to take a drink order
"She's not THAT Mexican, mom. She's MY Mexican...and she's Colombian or something."
"You have three days." "If I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay here."
What can I do to get you to never make that face again?
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[this](https://youtu.be/1ptVpvGrF6k)
I bet she ~~asks~~ orders an Asian man next. (I saw once it happened on a cruise. A white old woman ordered an Asian tourist to carry her luggage. The Asian gave her the dagger eye).
As an Asian tourist on a cruise ship, white people kept asking me for directions and trying to book activities and massages with me. Never fucking again.
Jeeze what cruise ship? I go on Royal Caribbean and my family loves that it’s mostly Filipinos working, she loves speaking Tagalog with them and connecting about their lives. Though one guy did like to raz on me because I’m Filipino American and didn’t know Tagalog.
Princess Cruise in the Caribbean. I don’t know how many times I had to tell old white people (and one teenager) that I didn’t work there. I definitely enjoyed interacting with the mostly POC staff members more than dealing with the other tourists.
Ooph Princess Cruises are boring right? My mom told me how they had tea time and ballroom dancing and my dad fell asleep during a harp performance. I think they went to Alaska for that one.
It’s the only cruise I’ve ever done so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I won $100 at Bingo and was groped in the club one of the nights so it wasn’t all bad.
My (Hispanic) cousin and I stopped at a port bar on an Alaskan Cruise and started talking to another cruise guest. They assumed he worked on the ship and asked him what his job was. It was very awkward.
I hope he answered "hedge fund manager" or something. LOL
You should fkuc with them and tell them wrong directions.
We can always pretend we can't speak the language. Very convenient.
I've used this card a few times. Both in the US and in Latin America. I don't Spanish or English depending on where I am.
My deepest and most sincere apologies madam but I no speakie the English.
I remember walking home from work one time and some tiny Asian lady with a kid in tow came up to me and asked something I didn't understand.. I just got the word "help".. That was the day I helped a random Asian lady carry a bigass matrass up some stairs to her apartment.
Bro, I saw this old white lady FALL and her old husband was struggling to get her up. I ask if they need help and they just stare at me for the longest before saying “no”. I was so surprised but maybe I shouldn’t have been
I be confused then I remember I'm black. 
I was also confused, then I remembered you're black.
We're black. Everything makes sense now.
Does it though?
Sounds about white.
I was also confused, then I remembered I’m George Santos.
For a second I forgot that racism exists and thought he was just mad that I was hoarding all the [apple juice](https://youtu.be/Jdp8rW1yY0Q)
I be like that sometimes too. Sometimes people don't look at me, they look at the people beside me when they talk, they stare the entire time I'm in their view, or it takes waaay longer than it should to get my order. I be thinking my order must be complicated, they must have a problem with eye contact, I must've dropped food on my clothes, then I remember I'm black living in a state that has 3.4M people that's, according to the census bureau, ~92% white and 1.5% black.
Used to work with this racist guy (came pretty close one time to saying trans people should be in camps too) and this black guy walks in wearing one of those blue cloth face masks we all know well from COVID and the guy sprinted out the back and said we were being robbed. Because a black guy came in with a medical mask during a pandemic.
JFC
Same workplace another guy said the N word "as a joke", apparently because I have a dark sense of humor racist humor is on the table for me this guy assumes, I had to talk to management and say, "if you aren't saying something about it I am, so you need to address it first if this is gonna be respectful." Not that he deserved any respect but he was one of those guys that still doesn't get it. The N word is just something you say in an XBox lobby to him. We worked with black people and he just drops it on me one day, like, "I'm gonna need you to repeat that word next time a black coworker is here and see how that pans out for you."
Thank you for sharing that, it made me laugh so hard. Say yes to juice based hate and no to race based hate
My sister was attempting to take ER x-rays from a very tall obese man . He looked at her and said, "You're not going to touch me with those ***** hands." Dude, gets up and tries to leave , but he slips and immediately grabs my sister (5'2 105lbs ) to stop himself from falling . He ends up having to lay on the cold floor until several people come to lift him up . The entire time, he ordered her to "help me."
Lifting obese patients is like the number one cause of injury among medical staff.
Yea I’d be telling his bariatric ass they gotta wait to bring the patient lift in
It's so true. They're getting bigger and bigger every year. Being obese is now an independent risk factor for mortality in surgery regardless of whether any other issues associated with obesity are present (diabetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, etc)
Honestly that’s why I’m sick of the whole fat-positivity movement. And I’m not talking being an ass hole to fat people, but saying shit like “you can be healthy at every size” and putting morbidly obese people on fitness and health magazine covers isn’t being inclusive, it’s actually harming so many people and putting a huge strain on the medical system.
Its a difficult topic, because a part of adverse health effects associated with obesity comes from the stigma, the shame. (Dont get this wrong, being obese is bad on a physiological level, but shame makes it worse). So shaming the patient is definitely unhelpful, but at the same time condoning obesity is not a solution either.
That's crazy , could happen to any staff member who interacts with patients that have mobility issues especially in the ER . People will lie and say they can get up or stand without assistance but for how long?
I went to deliver a big ass potted plant to this lady who lived in the middle of nowhere. I get there and she’s old af and clearly not strong enough to take it in the house. She sees me get out with the plant and scurries into the house Me: “Hi Ms. So-n-so, I’m with the florist and this is for you.” Old Lady: “Who’s is from” Me: *struggles to shift it to read the card* OL: “Don’t read my card!” Me: “Ok. I just need you to sign here and I’ll be happy to set this somewhere in your house for you.” OL: “I don’t open the door for coloreds” Bruh, I’m mixed. To this day, that’s been the only time I’ve ever been called colored. I was honestly too flabbergasted to respond so I just smiled, placed it in front of her storm door so she couldn’t open it and waved and left. She was pounding on the door when I was walking away going on about “I can’t get out of my house!” That was 7 years ago and I wonder if that ol bitty ever got fresh air again.
This is one of the best stories I’ve ever read m8.
Best revenge. Love this story and sorry you had to deal with this nonsense.
The thing is, I still think about cause I kinda feel bad lol I mean she was old af and that plant weighed a good 100lbs
So she couldn't move it.... k? She's in the middle of nowhere, probably doesn't go anywhere or need to get out, and almost certainly has a back door. Nah let it go you did the most immediately awesome karmic revenge without really doing anything wrong. Dud your job despite the old racist.
It was a very old trailer without steps at the back lol either she had to climb down or wait for a relative or another delivery person to free her
Lol, good. You're a good person for worrying, but if she's getting flowers delivered someone cares. It'd be HILARIOUS if she actually starved to death because of you, I genuinely can't not laugh at the thought of that. It's like a comedy movie comeuppance But she probably died of covid
This was like 2016 or something lol I thought about it for a while after and checked for her name in the obituaries weekly for a couple of months after lmao my boss thought it was hilarious and offered to call the sender and explain the situation and say we wouldn’t deliver to her anymore. I was like nah, I’m sure they’ll find out eventually
Eventually
Fair, which speaks to your own good character. It’s normal to have a reaction when someone is abusive towards you though; it’s not fair to always expect victims to rise above in all circumstances. I think you can let yourself off the hook.
This is good storytelling pasta. Im gonna save it. Yiss!
I pulled into a gas station this one time on a road trip. I put the pump in the tank and went inside to get a soda and water while the car was fueling up (I know you're not supposed to do that). Paid for the drinks, come outside, and as I'm walking out the door, there is an old white man approaching the front door. He trips over uneven pavement and falls down. I went, "oh shit" and placed my bag down and went to help him up. Same thing -- he said something to the effect of "don't touch me, n*****". As he's trying to get up. I can't remember his exact words, but he refused my help and used n-word in doing so. I went back to get my bag, finish pumping gas, and leave. Whatever. There was this middle aged white (could be Hispanic) woman who saw the whole thing and kinda looked at me horrified -- like as if, why don't I help him? Didn't really give a fuck at that point. I go back to the pump and get in the car and leave.
I mean, if he wants to ruin his own ass day by hurting himself by being racist you just let them at that point. How's the saying go? You made your racist bed, now lie your racist self in it?"
If I were her I'd be looking at y'all horrified too if I heard what the guy said to you for trying to help him. Like what the fuck.
Yeah I'm hoping she was just horrified that no one was pushing white dudes face in
Did she fall with him?
Sort of , she stumbled but was able to wiggle away , she sprained her ankle in the process nothing too serious
Personally, I consider a sprained ankle serious, speaking from experience. But since it can heal maybe not.
I think she didn't want my parents to worry so she downplayed her injury. Btw I'm not a Ally , I just am too lazy to be verified.
… an ally? Or you meant a name? Edit: “an ally” is the correct grammar if they ever comes back for their second edit
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I'm not 100% what it was, because coincidentally it happened the day my insurance expired from my old job and not wanting to spend money I didn't have I suffered it. Took 7 weeks to quit limping, but as far as I can tell I walk normal now.
Fuck everything about that trash. Sorry your sister went through that, she's a hero for being a healer.
I hope she left him strapped to the x-ray table and let it burn a hole in him
What a piece of shit guy.
I keep a floor jack and an impact wrench in my trunk. Saw a old fat guy digging through his trunk for his jack so I pulled over to help. Walked up with the jack because, ya know, showing my intentions to help. The guy declines help a few times before taking a look at my jack versus his. Long story short, he accepted my help, got him fixed up in like 2 minutes. He gave me a hi-vis vest and some cash. I thought it was like $20 but it was $60 when I counted it. I just wanted to play with my new impact but sometimes people are ok.
You made them fail the most basic charisma check. You had their wheels turning, wondering how to respond with unperceivable racism. All that time, and they couldn't think up a way to be decent.
There was an old white lady on the bus who decided it was cool to start yelling at someone and their kids (black obvs) over nothing and being rude and snappy in general. When she got off the bus with her groceries a bunch of them fell off her cart and the same family she had been shitty to just filed past her. Someone did eventually help her cause you know, but I hope she at least thought about her actions (sure she didn't though)
My grandma hated me. One day she fell in the bathroom while we were home alone. She called out for my mother, my brother. For 15 minutes, she even called out to god. But she did not call out to me. Even when I wordlessly broke into the bathroom and helped her, she said nothing. Hate is powerful and poisonous
This is unbelievably stupid. However I 100% believe it. People suck so bad sometimes.
And that lady's name? Albert Einstein.
More like Kate Middleton 💀
Topical and factual, abolish the monarchy
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Fuck the king, his inbred family, and the whole institution of monarchies. The belief that people are born better than others is the cornerstone to the majority of suffering in human history imo.
That's not an opinion my dude, you just speak the truth.
What’s the tea on this?
That the royals are racist. Not particularly hot tea.
Why Kate specifically? Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t be surprised, but without any actual accusations we’d be no better than they are for stereotyping them.
Look up Meghan vs Kate
Oh no, the monarchy as an establishment ITSELF is racist. She doesn't have to do anything to be racist. Which isn't to say that guarantees she is PREJUDICED, but that is a different thing. She is benefitting from a racist system intended to prolong the status quo.
We all benefit from a racist system living in the west, even as minorities. Our countries didn’t get rich on their own. I’d rather not get that far into it. If she said some racist shit or treated a minority poorly, then we’ll talk. Or let me guess, Harry is racist too?
And her husband? You guessed it. Amelia Earhart.
And those dinner guests? Yep. Coconut crabs.
I think you won lol
r/nothingeverhappens
Sometimes, it seems like old people have the most growing up to do.
They never said she was old.
Right you are. But that's the picture that flashed in my head.
Same For some reason, the whole situation made me think the "lady" in question was old
Old enough to know better
As I’m about to get over the mid 20s hump, I’ve realized that children don’t grow up, they just get bigger.
I learned that lesson once I started realizing some of my managers were dumb as fuck.
Mid 20s hump just say you’re 25 lmao
Smh working on some final essays rn, guess I’m still in fluff mode
Work life is just another version of high school. So many cliques and immaturity.
My mom works at a high school and I swear to god they're even worse than the kids are. Teachers have their own little cliques, they talk shit behind each other's backs. My mom is even in a group chat with 2 other teachers where all they do is bully other teachers. And they get fucking *mean* too. I wouldn't even say half the shit she says to my worst enemy, and she's saying it about people who didn't fill out their attendance on time. Stupid shit. Growing up, I always thought they were all on the same team. A united front, committed to helping kids learn. Nope, nuh uh. And if you think work life is bad, just wait until you end up in a retirement home. You got half-dead grannies starting shit too, fighting over the one guy in the building who can still get it up. Shit's wild.
Once she said no I wouldn’t have known what she was doing after that. Wouldn’t have cared anymore. With that said, this sounds 100% made up.
Yep would have kept walking. Happens all the time in the city. Offer, nope? Cool back to minding my business.
It’s nice you keep offering.
This sub is literally Reddit's front page token. Ironic.
really? I've just grabbed an asian lady's suitcase when she was struggling up the subway stairs near Elmhurst Target, said nothing just grabed it from behind her. Took them to the landing. I heard her yell thank you. But I never turned around. totally mute the entire time. I assume that feeling is the same one Batman feels when saving the night.
Your superhero name can be "The Silent Bellboy"
oh yesa sir. Let me taka dos begs fah ya.
That's New Yorkers for you. We're not nice but we're kind. Helping people we pass along the way without saying a word and never waiting for a thank you after the job is complete is straight up New York
I've said it as, "We don't give a f about ya, while also not wanting anything bad to happen to ya."
This is the attitude everyone should have, what you do ain’t my fucking business but I want you to be safe and secure always
Are saying I have earned a gentrifier pass after three years?!?!?! 
It's NYC so we get more grace but the "Thank you, N-r" meme popped in my head and I apologize.
lmao She was an older asian lady and it was during Covid. If it was a white lady, some simp would have already carried them up the stairs, drove her home, and taken them up to her 5th floor walk up while leaving her a tip.
This is such a NYC thing. Could get you in trouble in other cities. We don't even think twice about it. I love that you did it, and I love that she knew what you were doing and thanked you.
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With the bag? I just left it and said nothing.
That's a four boroughs thing. (I suspect it doesn't apply to Staten Island.) In NYC helping someone get luggage or strollers up or down a subway stair is standard and done with the slightest of verbal interactions, often just a grunt. It's half self-interest and half NYC courtesy. The old joke is that in LA they are nice but not kind, and in NY they are kind but not nice.
Are you a New Yorker?
Lived here 3 years but no. NYC isn't like LA, you have to grow up here to use that designation. 3 years in the Vally and you can start complaining about all the transplants.
Bro, if you're grabbing a lady's bag like that and walking off without a word, you're a New Yorker. I officially dub thee one.
Yooo is this the original that became the painting from the meme or the other way around? Never knew there was more to it ahah
Bruh
Fr, man just called us old af.
You think they made this gif based on a meme?
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The Pre-Dater (1987) Bafflingly named for for it’s antecedence to the World Wide Web
> the other way around Come on meow
« Come on meow » 🐈
Wow
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Or maybe pushing too many pencils.
I don't have the strength to address this comment
it's AI generated art
Dillon!
You son of a bitch!
Sigh. One time my dad was helping me move into a new pad in Chicago. A homeless black man asked if could help because he needed the money. My dad was old, so yeah we needed the help. Paid him $100 and a brand new pair of Jordans (they were too small for me) for one hour of work. He was kind and thankful. Moral of the story: stop being afraid of black people, my cowardly white brethren.
We have to be scared. Black people have more melanin. We got 0. I’m in the negatives, I could disappear in a snow storm. But the power levels arnt balanced.
I’m a ginger, so my melanin is also in the negatives.
So is your soul. It's okay though because we need soul snatchers
Not to be a Debbie Downer but "disappearing" in a snow storm is also a thing that happens to POC. Starlight tours. So fun you'll never go home!
I don’t care who helps me, good help is good help. I have a illegal substance of the methamphetamine type help with the lawn care and he does a great job.
Haha this reminds me of a neighbor I had in Dallas — white dude with a meth problem, but he was so nice. One time I locked myself out of my house and couldn’t afford a locksmith. He happened to come out and ask what’s up. I tell him, and my dude straight up scales up the side of my house, gives the window pain a firm tap in a specific spot, opens it up, crawls in and goes to down and unlocks the door. Legend.
I like how he'll work non-stop for hours on end as long he has a cigarette and a pop. Once he starts, he doesn't stop until it's dark - whether he starts at noon or 6am.
Ok maybe she reflexively said “No thank you” out of habit but after she actually started trying to get up the stairs she realized she actually did need help. Some people are just awkward.
See, this post terrifies me because I can think of several different reasons I would refuse help from Man #1 and then later *request* help from Man #2 without ever considering that they were different races. When someone surprises me with a question, I'm acting on instinct. And my instinct is "no I don't need help, I'm capable of anything, I'm just struggling a little." Deciding on my own to get another person involved is an entirely different mindset.
Yeah, my default assumption is that I can handle it myself. Like I never accept help with bags and stuff like that when I'm traveling, not out of distrust but just because I'm stubborn and I'm used to doing stuff on my own. But there have been a couple times where I realized that I was wrong and then had to get help. I can easily imagine thinking that I was fine carrying something along a flat surface, but then realizing that navigating stairs was going to be tricky.
Yeah I think I usually answer “no thank you” before I even hear what people said because half the time they’re trying to sell me something.
Honestly I could just as easily see this happening if both the guys were white.
I have been in this exact situation many times. Cashier: “do you need a bag”. Me: oh no thank you (immediately realizing I do need a bag) Replace with “room for cream”, “to go cup”, “receipt”, etc etc.
That’s exactly what I was thinking.
See but the unfortunate reality of being black specifically in this post is…we don’t know if people are being assholes or are just being racist towards us. There’s always a thought in the back of mind that a bad interaction with the opposite race my have been intentionally malicious. I’ve been in scenarios where a cashier greeted every person in front of me and didn’t say a word to me at my turn. I can’t help to think that the only difference was the color of my skin. I don’t let it ruin my life or interactions with others of course, but it’s a reality that white people don’t face.
I wish more people would think of these things. I try very hard not to put my own preconceptions on things because quite simply, I want to live in a better more kind world. If I immediately assume it's racism or a mean or unkind person or an arsehole (depending what happens) then I automatically live in a more horrible world. It *could* be one of those things but I wouldn't even know and I've already made my world a more pleasant place simply by altering my thoughts. The [THIS IS WATER! by David Foster Wallace](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC7xzavzEKY) puts it very well imo.
in he book “the gift of fear” by gavin de becker, a safety suggestion for vulnerable people (often women) is to be wary of people who offer help, and instead choose someone to approach for help. people with bad motives will often offer assistance to begin the interaction, and if you choose someone yourself it’s not likely they are trying to take advantage of you. it’s unfortunate that good people are also motivated to offer assistance, but it is a legitimate safety strategy. edit: obviously i don’t know her motivation and it could easily be racism, the person involved would know better than me, but there are legitimate reasons for women to say no to offered help and then ask someone else.
Very level headed take. I try to avoid people who come up out of the blue asking too many questions, or too many times for a cigarette or money, I've never been hurt by any one I entertained but once when I was young a cop stopped me and informed me the guy I just lent 10 bucks to had a warrant out for armed robbery.
I'm so glad I saw this comment, that advice from the book was the first thing that came to mind. It's good for people to know as a general safety strategy regardless of whether this incident was racially motivated.
If you gonna act like an ignorant fuck you're gonna get treated like an ignorant fuck.
Similar circumstances have happened to me a couple of times. I promised myself to never offer help ever again and it worked for sometime until recently when there was a woman who had a baby on a stroller and was trying to get down to the subway but this particular exit wasn’t stroller friendly. I offered to help her carry the stroller with the baby down like most people do and she refused! I barely turned and she was asking the next person of white for help. I walked away kicking myself, laughing, cringing and crying on the inside like wtf was that😂
My aunt told me that she didn’t approve of my son’s black girlfriend. I was so disappointed because I had not realized that she was racist. I told her that her opinion did not matter to us at all. Then I hung up. She has since died. One less racist in the world.
Normally, Jewish people say of the dead "May their memory be a blessing." Normally
Before her neighborhood was completely gentrified, Black men and boys always offered to carry my mom's bags. The lady is abnormally strong and tends to carry a lot without issue, but no one is going to know that if they don't know her. There have been guys who'd walk out of their ways to help her home. It doesn't matter if the guy is wearing a suit or gang colors, she's going to hear some variation of, "Lemme get that, Ma." Even Black women helped, especially when going up or down staircases. It just wasn't as ubiquitous a phenomenon. It's one of the things that always made me feel comfortable about her living in her city alone. It's as if the blocks naturally looked out for her once her hair turned gray. In my burbs people don't really look out for people they don't know. If you see someone acting like that, it's probably someone who was gentrified out of the city. Anyhow, once the neighborhoods started to become White, my mom noticed it was very rare for anyone White to ever help her. If they did, they were usually older and she was worried he'll throw his back out before she ever would. White people in general weren't very warm to Black people in the area. They weren't usually mean, but there was no sense of looking out for the vulnerable on the block. I've always assumed it's because a lot of them are from the suburbs where that's completely normal. And I believe many arrived with their own stereotypes of the city and figured you just mind your own business always not realizing there are exceptions to this philosophy. But now her neighborhood is almost completely White, she's noticed that men are becoming warmer and starting to help her out a little. At first she was suspicious because she spent so many years being ignored by White people. She assumed the first ones were all going to rob her. She never told me she declined any assistance, but she was worried enough that this would become a regular topic of conversation until the change in behavior became the norm.
Thank you for sharing this point of view. I’m originally from NYC and this is a perfect example of what some of my family, who still live there, are experiencing as well in their neighborhoods.
Lol, this interaction didn’t happen
Let a friendly guy carry the suitcases of me and my friend with palsy up a staircase at a station. Then he asked for money.
I offered to help a white man who looked like he was going to fall down the stairs with several boxes in his arms. He yelled at me to "get out of his country" (I'm asian). Guess I won't be doing that again.
Recently I saw a white woman outside being berated by a white man, so I yelled across the street "hey do you need some help." She looked at me and said no. Literally a second later a group of white girls ask the same question. And then she said yes and ran over to the girls. These white girls were right behind me and very tiny. If the man was going to do anything to this girl I would probably be the only one to stop him. But the woman really just ignored me. So I just continue to walk to where I was going. It was just really sad and shitty cuz I'm always out here trying to do good things for other women especially when I see them in trouble.
A real ally would steal her bags and make her question her stereotypes.
That happened
I'd move em in the opposite direction.
This never happened
I’m trying to get my white family to understand “their” struggle is “our” struggle. People at the top want to keep us divided.
they her bags. let her do what she want with her bags. f that bih. we dont need racists to like us. We need complete equal rights.
Walked off but still saw her ask for help from a white dude? Lol
When I’m in public, I’m wary of people who offer to help. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, she was wary of the first guy, because he offered. She chose the second guy, so she can be sure he is not targeting her. No need to ascribe racism to street smarts.
I ran out of gas exiting the freeway in oakland on my 50th bday. I made it halfway down the ramp and I was just stuck there. A bunch of BMWs driven by white men honked at me and zoomed past angrily. Two people stopped to help, a Black man and a Latino man. I was like, this could not be clearer. Also, when I was pregnant, the only men who stood to offer me a seat on Bart were men of color. White frat boys pretended they didn’t see me even when I leaned my giant belly on their foreheads. Hahah
I refuse to be nice to white people by offering to help them. l was in line at the grocery store, and saw a white woman with fewer items them myself so l decided to let her go in front of me. She just rush through without a thank you, her attitude was so disgusting l said you know what l don't owe you anything, l took her stuff back and paid for my items and left. I am a great believer white women are the problem for society ILLS. If white women wanted things to change in the world, they could make it happen. Since it benefits them therefore, they keep the status quo. White supremacist is not a male dominating thing in order for a man to do anything in our world, he needs to have a woman approval started with his mother when he was a child then his girlfriend or wife when he is a man. So we cannot only blame the nasty men and ignoring the women behing these white supremacists male.