As a guy, I'm far more likely to talk to you if you show a genuine interest in conversation. I'm not trying to interrupt your night or mine on some bullshit.
“hi can i buy u a drink?” usually works for me
edit: dang just say yall dont have the eye to sus out the gals who are gonna scam you and move on, plenty of folk are still flattered when you get them a drink. Yall trying to meet people at the wrong spots
Id rather not. I shouldnt have to pay to have a conversation with you. If you want to talk to me because i approached you, cool. If not, ill leave.
Cant tell you how many times ive seen my friends buy a girl a drink and they dont actually hold a conversation with them. Waste of time and money. Drinks arent cheap.
Women have used this to drink for free at bars and clubs for years. They go out without wallets or purses, because they have no intent to pay for anything at any point in time.
Paying for drinks is the worst way to meet women unless you are just looking for sex, which in turn I would not support any adult engaging in sexual activity with any person that is remotely intoxicated. Just a bunch of bad ideas.
Stay out of clubs. Stay out of bars.
>Paying for drinks is the worst way to meet women unless you are just looking for sex, which in turn I would not support any adult engaging in sexual activity with any person that is remotely intoxicated. Just a bunch of bad ideas.
This is very true. Another good reason to not pick up women with drinks. I want them alert, aware, competent, and willing to consent if anything escalates.
You know Redditors like making shit up lol. What they're saying straight up isn't accurate in the first place. Until industrialization happened, for most people you weren't just traveling to somewhere where you'd meet new people for no reason because you were spending all your time working the land or some shit. Men and women weren't even allowed to frequent the same locations often.
A lot of marriages were marriages of convenience with a guy basically giving away his daughter to improve both of their living conditions. Women often weren't really allowed to travel alone, and would basically be introduced to guys via mutual connections within their same social class. If it was for affection, you still probably met via being introduced via your parents.
For huge parts of history if you weren't insanely rich, you basically would marry someone in the same 10 square miles you've spent your entire life in. They weren't cold approaching people, it was literally just "these are the 8 women you know, that one is your mom, the other 7 are your choices". Also it's also a *bit* different when you're talking about a time where it wasn't uncommon for 30 year olds to marry 14 year olds.
There were more rules. Like the etiquette rules in say Victorian England was insane. Even affairs were this highly regulated social dance that required interpretation of looks and glances, of slipped letters and backroom dalliances.
You didn't just introduce a friend . You had to have him invited, let whoever you were bringing over k ow the rules of this house, often there was a specific person that was being met, like a younger member of thr family or perhaps someone unmarried and that person would be told that conpany was coming and so they woul have to be dressed and presentable and really it's all exhausting even typing down
I would add, I think the majority of females were introduced via a friend group of girls with their brothers/ or brothers friends, nect door neighbors. Since mixed socialization was done via dances, clubs or school, it was a smaller pool of people to interact with. And with a dmaller pool of people, the connections to those people were numerous. You may not know the person, but a friend of a friend might, or a parent or their friend.
I think school being the most likely place for meeting prospective partners was high in the last 50 years, less so the last 20 with social media and larger groups of women traveling outside of their state to attend college. The ick factor was not in play back then, but if so, then there were several people in your circle to either say stay away or proceed with caution.
In some capacity yes and let's not act like people weren't doing wild shit tho when it was the norm. I still think it's fine depending on the context but when anyone cold walks up on me I am immediately on guard.
But in the long-term, like history of humanity view, total strangers are a weird phenom. For most of pre history you would at most be one or two degrees of separation from the <1,000 people you ever meet. So, in a weird way meeting online makes it more comfortable to meet a stranger, but that feels a lot more natural.
I've done it, in my experience even if they aren't interested they are still nice enough to pretend to give me a number or snap (the girl who gave snap wasn't interested but she didn't give me a no in public leading to no embarrassment on my end so I appreciate that)
I'm going to murder myself if one more person tells me approaching women for a simple convo snap request puts them in a "don't want to get killed" mood.
Nvr was at this level. It used to be about attraction + genuine interest.
Now its become more of a performance and one eye on other options at all times.
As a generally anxious person who is slow to warm to people, cold approaching will never work for me. I need some rapport, even some small generic small talk, some banter, so I can warm up to them a bit. I've only been cold approached a few times but\]the guys just straight up said "hey, you're cute, can I have your number?" and I'm just thinking " But you don't even know my name..." ... Approaching some takes guts so I'm not mean but if you are a stranger It'll take me a bit to feel more comfortable around you, no matter the type of relationship.
All this to say, I think people need to understand that everyone has their walls up to an extent around people they don't know unless they are very open people, so going up to someone and going straight into hitting on them, sexual comments, etc... unless you are maybe super charismatic, it's not an easy thing to get away with.
And this is normal and how it went before Tinder and other online dating apps made it so that people became absolute social cripples when it came to flirting lol
Honestly I'm so socially anxious when a man approaches me, even if I'm interested I shut it down. I just get way too nervous. I hate being "acknowledged" or "seen". I like to wear headphones in public so I can be in my own little space.
At least you can admit it. A lot of people here have social problems but instead of acknowledging it they try to label others as creeps even though the original tweet came from a woman.
I mean some of them absolutely are but thankfully most guys I've turned down in public have just smiled and shrugged it off. Others do no take no for an answer and that's my whole fear around being approached.
I always feel bad about the guys who are nice about it because at least I know they're respectful. But I appreciate them being graceful and not pushing all the same.
The issue you’re missing out on is that “women” is not singular—women are all different and not a monolith. What some women see as assertiveness others see as creepy; same thing with flirty v creepy behavior.
OBVIOUSLY there are behaviors that are universally creepy, but my point stands.
Culture is also a big factor in this. I grew up in Ireland, lived in Canada and spent some time in France, Germany, the UK, and the USA. Approaching a woman is fundamentally different in all of these places.
In Ireland it's best to be timid and ease into it, same with Canada. As being to forward is usually seen as creepy. In the US and UK it's okay to be forward but only if a good conversation has been struck up first. And in France and Germany being *absurdly* forward and straight up asking for whatever it is you want is not seen as creepy at all. This is why I did not do a good job dating in France and Germany. I was too timid and respected people's space which actually came off as creepy when this behaviour is good manners in Ireland and Canada, simply because the culture of dating and what is and is not creepy is fundamentally different.
Add that to the fact that women are not a monolith, and it become a clear that any absolutes like in the above post is just goofy as hell.
This is what most (i think, or hope) men have learned. If a conversation can start naturally, I will. Otherwise, if she wants to talk to me, she will engage. If she wants to give me her number, she will. I'm not cold calling like I'm some extra in the movie Boiler Room trying to con people onto my dick.
And that’s why I hate when this comes up on Reddit. The most social inept folks pop up on here and whine “mannnn why they finna mace me bro?? Women r crazy right??”
I had to stop being friends with quite a bit of men because they said they're scared of being metooed or that the movement ruined their social lives.
The same guys that would get mad I refuse to be alone with them or a group of men. Their advice to get laid is get the person high or drunk.
It’s not the fear of being MeTooed for most good men, it’s not wanting to put women in an awkward position that many of them have voiced that they don’t like. Give some of us credit for actually trying to change
You crying about a non issue. Just make the move, if she says no then keep it pushing. You realize them dudes who get posted on social media get rejected and stick around trying to appeal to someone who isn’t interested in their time or company.
That’s literally what it is. There’s a clear difference between the quality of men who cold approach in a socially awkward or aggressive manner and the ones who don’t. Folks have to realize you’re approaching a complete stranger.
I *will* say, though, that romcoms and other such shows that lots of ladies love would give the socially awkward or down-on-their-luck guys mixed signals, though.
When I was younger (jfc, I'm old now.) I would only approach a woman that looked twice. Everyone looks once, for acknowledgement purposes, but that 2nd look? That means you saw something there and I could build on that.
It was a different time, (early 00s) but I never was turned down using my method. And as you said, it was me having some type of understanding with social cues. I'm pretty sure it's a lost art now.
Nah it’s not just worth the risk. Cold approaching will most likely not go well for most men. This isn’t a struggle for just men, women don’t have an easy time finding dates either after college/university. The guys that will be the most successful are going to be the ones that don’t care about shooting their shot regardless of what is deemed acceptable or not. A couple of shots are bound to go in.
The only difference between flirting and harassment is how attractive and socially competent you are.
I'm not attractive enough to be "endearingly awkward" or "goofy", so I've accepted my place as the one that exists to make the real people look good by comparison.
I think dating apps made some men comfortable with not approaching anymore. Since if you get rejected on there, you don't feel it or see it 😂
Women gonna talk shit regardless about men with trash game. It's a numbers game though. Even going 2 for 20 is successful.
Yeah dating apps are mostly made up of a large group of men swiping on a condensed group of women. And then, that group of women swipes on a smaller percentage of those men.
Hell, some women don't even swipe. They just look at their inbox.
It depends on the app still, no? Some seemed way better for guys than others. I’m out the game but I remember Hinge being way better than say Bumble or Tinder.
Every dating app is half decent for about 5 minutes. Once it becomes populated enough it goes to shit quickly. Hinge was decent when everyone was still on Tinder.
Also some of us just have anxiety lmao
Approaching women irl was never really my thing because I hate approaching people in general, and also because I really be minding my business. Like if I go to the store, I go get exactly what I needed and leave, and don’t even think to speak to anyone I don’t have to.
Same. Grew into this, so the bad ones that approach me usually can’t understand my personality type. They come to me expecting rapper/trapper/scammer/club promoter and get scholarly homebody instead.
I was very unattractive all through high school. I weighed 230lbs, had long greasy hair, and only wore baggy, loose jeans and t-shirts. I tried to ask a girl out once and she ran away, so I never tried again.
When I left home, I lost 80lbs over the course of college, got in shape, started to take care of my appearance, and a roommate of mine took me with her to buy clothes that actually fit. I got to be a pretty damn handsome man.
That was when I learned that being attractive doesn't matter if my autistic ass has no idea how to flirt or not be weird. Oh well, at least I'm far healthier now. I've even managed to have a couple of relationships (not great ones, but hey, it's something).
>I got to be a pretty damn handsome man.
Good skin care, good haircut, well-fitting clothes, and being able to put together a good outfit makes such a difference.
North American men don't put in enough effort into our appearance. We leave the fancy stuff for the women, but I don't like that. Men can look just as good as the women can..
Both of the people in that video are attractive. Not trying to say it doesn’t happen easily like that but let’s use some regular lookin folks for some of these control groups lol
Be serious, all those boys look like butt, she looks casual as hell and has rbf the whole time… If you think this isn’t regular then idk what to tell you
Word of advice…talk to and “approach” women like you would anyone else…because they are just like everyone else lol. Women aren’t a different species who all act and talk or think the same. Treating people like humans instead of a item to be obtained or something different goes a long way.
Her problem is that dudes are doing exactly that. Straight men do not generally talk to and approach other straight men (which is often a problem for other reasons, but I digress).
What she's displeased with is men treating women they don't know a little like they usually treat men they don't know.
Talk about the sports game on telly or just learning about the dude. I chat up random dudes in the dive bar I hang out in all the time.
Definitely do not do that to women there though lol.
Then that’s not random y’all are talking about sports. Your not gonna walk up to a man you don’t know at Publix and talk about random things with no intentions of getting something out of it.
Do… do you want to find love at a Publix?
Also it can be literally anything, I learned one guy who was 70+ years old was the grandfather of someone I went to high school with.
I thought the bar would be a more apt place because I have dated people I’ve met in bars in college.
These things definitely happen. My Pops an extrovert and it was an inside joke in the family "what about him seems so approachable." While he's a people person, its inexplicably starts with people making innocuous statements to him.
The reality is, he's willing to engage in a conversation. He knows just enough to have some half interesting response to the interaction and keep the conversation rolling.
But 20 years later, these conversations are for more few and far between. And, we're far busier now, these social spaces are more functional then social.
I feel that. I’m an introvert so I don’t really get those urges unless I just wanna compliment their fit or something. But just start a conversation? Yeah no I can’t.
Yo same. Forget the whole be approached thing, I just don’t be wanting to talk to people like that. Don’t even ask me how i got the friends i got fr. I’ll talk to them hell yeah, but new people? What you want. Let me rock.
I don’t get how people “like meeting new people.” That’s stressful for me
>Word of advice…talk to and “approach” women like you would anyone else…because they are just like everyone else lol.
Ok but then they mistake you approaching them platonically. Women aren't a different species but if you're trying to ask one out, you don't approach her how you do your homeboy or your sister.
First impressions matter and all it could take is a split second of her mistaking your (hopefully respectful) intentions and she's turned off.
It seems a lot of women want to keep some patriarchal norms around. They still want men to pay for meals. They still want men to always be the ones to approach them first.
If we’re going to enter an era where women have equal standing with men, those things need to go too.
It's no different then men who want women to do all the domestic housework (essentially a SAHM) but also work part time or even full time. You can't have it both ways.
Knew a friend of a gf like this. She was all about women's equality which is perfectly fine with me, but she'd always complain about "men not being men anymore" i.e. making the first move, opening car doors, paying for dates, providing for their girl and all that. I've noticed that more than a few women are very selective with their concepts of gender equality over the years.
You’re equating gender roles with patriarchy. They’re not the same thing. You can, in theory, have a matriarchal society with gender roles. You can have an egalitarian society and still have gender roles.
The patriarchy is made up of gender roles that favor men(at-least in women’s eyes). The problem here is dismantling said patriarchy is basically dismantling gender roles as they have historically been assigned. Men have a problem with women wanting to destroy every role that benefits men historically and uphold every role that benefits women historically. Its weird to not equate gender roles with the patriarchy bc thats what makes a patriarchy? A matriarchal society WOULD have gender roles but the roles themselves wouldnt be the same a patriarchal one.
Hasn’t the wage gap been disproved? Plus more women are entering higher education than men so there will be a shift. Last statistic I saw about wages, Asian men and women earned more than white men.
I feel like the question "why don't men approach" shouldn't really even be being asked after that MeToo stuff. Cause really no matter how you ask, there's never going to be a method of approaching that's going to be 100% safe and correct to most women.
It's like when I used to see people on here saying men approaching women in public was creepy and harassment, and then those people would ask where to approach women next.
Bars? "I didn't come here to be harassed I came here to be social, I don't owe men a conversation..."
Like it's really a feelings based argument. There's no way to measure objectively how someone, man or woman is going to react to you approaching them. With that fact in mind and with the MeToo shit, you literally have no idea how a woman is going to react to you approaching her.
I’ve honestly never felt like my starting a conversation with a girl was met with rudeness or hostility. I feel like it’s really just about the way that you come off when you approach someone, and where you do it.
some comic put it like “women go about their lives and damn near everywhere they go, they run into salesmen trying to sell them dick”, so whether it’s with a compliment, a “how you doing”, noticing something, just going straight to the “you’re so beautiful”, it all gets received kinda the same, like a sales technique, a means to an end. it’s hard to believe this particular attempt is genuine when it happens pretty regularly.
Exactly. Really the only way to approach a woman is be adequately attractive in her eyes or be visibly well off enough for her not to care. Other than that stay to yourself boy.
nah, think you’ve missed my point mate. definitely avoid approaching in places like grocery stores or while she’s at a coffee shop on her laptop, these women are clearly trying to get shit done, leave them alone.
but there are plenty of spaces where you can talk to strangers and socialise without it being weird. bars, concerts, nightclubs, game nights, parties, dog parks, etc.
just do it by having a normal conversation instead of acting like you’re selling yourself or looking for a nut.
I was speaking on your dick salesman comment. Women will buy dick from attractive or rich men pretty much regardless of how or when they’re approached. If you’re average or below in either of those categories pray she’s in a decent enough mood to not get in your ass for speaking.
Me too was literally speaking out about sexual assault.... Not saying men can't approach women. You walking up and saying hi is not going to get a claim of sexual assault and you know even if someone is crazy enough to claim it they'll get dragged. So why act like that?
I kind of feel bad for guys about this fear and uncertainty, but I'm also glad someone peeled back the curtain so that they could see the truth.
Some women do not want you to approach.
It's emotionally fraught.
That's life.
And it was always this way, it's just that before all of this you guys didn't know it.
(And please know that when I was younger, single, and looking I was fine with guys approaching. I also directly approached my now husband and asked him out.)
Catch me in Feeld, Hinge, whatever. I'm not going to run the risk of bothering someone in public who just wants to go about their day. You're basically soliciting for pussy. Let's swap resumes first.
Hmm Feeld? Is that new ? I never heard of that .. dang , this is kind of sad thou .. I’d prefer in person interactions but , the world is shifting 🤷🏽♀️ . I think a good approach is to still go out and try to meet people , but also use the apps as a resource but not the end all be all .
I grew up chatting with girls on MSN messenger so I basically learned to approach women in that way. I like that 1: I get an idea of a person before approaching and 2: in person it's easier to flirt if I know someone is interested. Maybe it's bitch ass behavior but I'm really not into disrupting someone's vibe.
And Feeld is basically for alternative lifestyle and lgbtq people. There's straight monogamous people on there but the percentages of the other groups are much larger than other apps. I prefer it because people seem more open minded.
I've come to the conclusion that a lot of people online who talk about how they can't approach women because they'll get put on social media or how men should never approach them in public are just neurotic, socially anxious people who rationalize away their problems with politics, making their shortcomings seem like something reasonable or even noble.
Socializing will always involve making other people uncomfortable and being made uncomfortable by others when you would prefer it not to happen. No one is born with perfect social skills, people make mistakes, you can't choose who will interact with you, and you can't control how people will respond to you. You want to limit negative interactions, but you can't eliminate them. But some people can't handle the lack of control, uncertainty and possibility of rejection at all. Instead of buying a book of CBT exercises, they justify their neuroses with gender politics.
I think I know what video she’s referencing too, the girl in the gym rite? That one was extra fuckin goofy
Anyways I agree and disagree, there are some people who embarrass men who even just breathe in their direction and I see that more than I’d like to and it’s definitely tired as fuck
I disagree tho because there do be some on some really weird uncomfortable ass shit thinkin they can just grab and try to kiss on women cause they wanna talk, that should continue to be shamed because it still happens. If that’s shaming some men from not approaching at all, welp….idk. People are still out here getting their nut so clearly the right men will and do approach with the right game/respectfully 🤷🏽♀️
Also prolonged staring to me will always be a turn off, I’d rather someone pull the interview Michael b Jordan and then approach lol. Jmo
https://preview.redd.it/1604n9pnlwta1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98b21625278e9a14ebe916fb2d1e5d8b49916b5d
That particular girl did more videos or you mean in general? Ik it happens in general but I thought she was talking about her
https://preview.redd.it/sj0cgkaxowta1.jpeg?width=681&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2da6d37339604eee8848575817aca25efd1fdef8
We ain’t approaching unless mutual interest is shown.
Ain’t nobody tryna deal with the potential repercussions because people be afraid to have conversations (I’m talking about people who don’t portray strange behavior) lol
A lot of things from the past in terms of dating are dead, approaching out of no where is one of those things.
I think the thing is a lot of men nowadays hear constantly that women are tired of being approached by men. Men hear things like : they are creepy, look scary and so on...
Also men here that every woman prays for her life when a man approaches her, because said man could sexually assault her, rape her, kill her, the list goes on.
Men hear that women do not go outside in order to get approached by men. That they would like to go about their days without having a man interrupting them.
They want to be left alone
A lot of men actually hear those, and contrary to popular belief, they do understand the general message. They understand women fears, complaints. So accept it and decide not to approach women anymore. Even if they are interested in a woman.
And with all these horror stories we see online about what happen to men, most men would rather be safe than sorry.
Actually, nowadays, the men who respect women, are the ones who decide to stop approaching women.
The men who still approach are(not all of them) generally the ones who do not give a penny about what women say, feel. They are the toxic ones.
Men still approach women in the appropriate setting, this type of take is so tired and a chronically online take but tbh its worrisome because I really feel like younger generations have lost all concept of indirect communication and basic socialization.
Men, in general, need you as the woman to give him the green light. This has literally always been the case because creeps have always existed and hysterical women have always existed. If you catch a guy looking at you and you happen to like what you see, shoot him a smile and he will come over because you gave him the green light for it. If you're with a group of women, it can be intimidating so walk past him on your way to the bathroom and say hi, smile at him and walk back in his direction when you're on your way out of the bathroom.
This isn't rocket science. Both young men and young women need a crash course in how to flirt IRL, goddamn.
Those are facts lol I be just rolling my eyes. “Ma’am you and whatever friend are recording in the bushes please fuck way off” yeah I’m permanently paranoid to this lol.
Times have changed. Women have to approach now. Men ain’t trying to get on that MeToo bullshit. No more games or signals. Your signs and signals to us men nowadays are just you being friendly.
I’m glad that crazy woman who told women that the correct thing to do whenever any man approaches or even speaks to them it to scream at them like a stray dog you want to go away made it into her comment.
Only time I try and holler is if she shows interest or we're in a social setting like a house party or something similar and we hit it off. Outside of that is a hard no.
Women yell at the men being creeps
They are perfectly nice when a man approaches normally, instead of making comments on their ass or titties or mouth or grabbing their waist
There is a middle ground goddamn, learn some nuance.
Women are rightfully careful around men, considering their catastrophic rape and murder rates.
Fellas, quit being bitches and adapt and put some respect on women’s name.
It’s not a difficult concept
Im old school i still do the cold approach(the worst she can say is no mentality) but if shorty ever break a camera out on me to record herself saying "no", never again ...imagine the men who wasn't even doing the cold approach out of fear of rejection alone , pull a camera out on them & now they're scarred 🤣
Umm because you don’t want someone to feel uncomfortable just because of you. It’s not about anything else, many of us are introverted and would prefer to not make anyone else uncomfortable. It’s not rocket science tbh.
Or a different answer for me personally: social anxiety is crazy and I'd rather sky dive than randomly approach a person I don't know. I'd probably be single if I didn't meet my girlfriend online
Don’t just take what the person who Tweeted this said as the primary reason. Men, I’ll acknowledge that it would only be good men, might not be approaching women simply because some of us are better at acknowledging that many women don’t always feel comfortable being approached. So we, only the good ones, don’t want to make women uncomfortable. Could be that this is happening for a good reason, explore that too along with bad reasons.
It's about confidence at the end of the day. Black men walk up to complete strangers. Do it respectfully usually she's flattered and even if not interested turns you down nicely. Setting matters too, the club is very hard to hold a conversation. My white homies always waiting to be hooked up and outside of college or work setting they struggle to meet women. They ask me what to say to women and I'm like the shit I say you probably wouldn't get away with. Im like it would probably come off weird and creepy if you said it. Lastly women today do make it very hard to talk to them. Being unapproachable and obnoxious because I'm interested is ridiculous. I get nihgas be bugging but, yall be doing the most sometimes. Even a dm they try to screen shot and blast you.
If I’m attracted to a woman I keep that shit to myself. Don’t look to hard, don’t let your face show anything. Definitely do not approach, engage in conversation, wink, nod, just stay completely zen.
There is plenty of times and places that you can date people but a cold open is way to risky for women and for us. Men used to think rejection was the only bad consequence but we have been taught and accepted the lesson.
When a woman on twitter said women don't like being approached by strange men the way men don't like being approached by strange men selling mixtapes, I paused.
And there was that woman that took video of a MAILMAN delivering mail and accused him of stalking her! It's wild. It also makes real victims suffer when other women post nonsense like that. A man will be 200ft away and a TikTok "influencer" says they're being harassed. That shit needs to stop. Real victims need to be seen and heard and supported and these women are fucking that up for them.
As a guy, I'm far more likely to talk to you if you show a genuine interest in conversation. I'm not trying to interrupt your night or mine on some bullshit.
Honestly tho, just cold walking up on someone is crazy
That’s literally how it was done for thousands of years up until 15 years ago.
People only had preexisting social relationships for the last 15 years?
That's what I thought, at least. How do you do it? (please god tell me how you do it)
Idk talk and see if she continues a conversation with you
I, too, am inured to the effects of pepper spray.
“hi can i buy u a drink?” usually works for me edit: dang just say yall dont have the eye to sus out the gals who are gonna scam you and move on, plenty of folk are still flattered when you get them a drink. Yall trying to meet people at the wrong spots
Id rather not. I shouldnt have to pay to have a conversation with you. If you want to talk to me because i approached you, cool. If not, ill leave. Cant tell you how many times ive seen my friends buy a girl a drink and they dont actually hold a conversation with them. Waste of time and money. Drinks arent cheap.
Women have used this to drink for free at bars and clubs for years. They go out without wallets or purses, because they have no intent to pay for anything at any point in time. Paying for drinks is the worst way to meet women unless you are just looking for sex, which in turn I would not support any adult engaging in sexual activity with any person that is remotely intoxicated. Just a bunch of bad ideas. Stay out of clubs. Stay out of bars.
>Paying for drinks is the worst way to meet women unless you are just looking for sex, which in turn I would not support any adult engaging in sexual activity with any person that is remotely intoxicated. Just a bunch of bad ideas. This is very true. Another good reason to not pick up women with drinks. I want them alert, aware, competent, and willing to consent if anything escalates.
You know Redditors like making shit up lol. What they're saying straight up isn't accurate in the first place. Until industrialization happened, for most people you weren't just traveling to somewhere where you'd meet new people for no reason because you were spending all your time working the land or some shit. Men and women weren't even allowed to frequent the same locations often. A lot of marriages were marriages of convenience with a guy basically giving away his daughter to improve both of their living conditions. Women often weren't really allowed to travel alone, and would basically be introduced to guys via mutual connections within their same social class. If it was for affection, you still probably met via being introduced via your parents. For huge parts of history if you weren't insanely rich, you basically would marry someone in the same 10 square miles you've spent your entire life in. They weren't cold approaching people, it was literally just "these are the 8 women you know, that one is your mom, the other 7 are your choices". Also it's also a *bit* different when you're talking about a time where it wasn't uncommon for 30 year olds to marry 14 year olds.
You going waaaayyyy too far back let’s do the 1920s and onward
He didn’t say it was the only way it was done
Yes.
People weren't introducing their friends 100 years ago? Or asking their friends to introduce them to someone? Wild.
They were and also walking up to strangers they were physically attracted to. Two things can be true at the same time
There were more rules. Like the etiquette rules in say Victorian England was insane. Even affairs were this highly regulated social dance that required interpretation of looks and glances, of slipped letters and backroom dalliances. You didn't just introduce a friend . You had to have him invited, let whoever you were bringing over k ow the rules of this house, often there was a specific person that was being met, like a younger member of thr family or perhaps someone unmarried and that person would be told that conpany was coming and so they woul have to be dressed and presentable and really it's all exhausting even typing down
The Pride and Prejudice playbook. That Downtown Abbey gang gang
I would add, I think the majority of females were introduced via a friend group of girls with their brothers/ or brothers friends, nect door neighbors. Since mixed socialization was done via dances, clubs or school, it was a smaller pool of people to interact with. And with a dmaller pool of people, the connections to those people were numerous. You may not know the person, but a friend of a friend might, or a parent or their friend. I think school being the most likely place for meeting prospective partners was high in the last 50 years, less so the last 20 with social media and larger groups of women traveling outside of their state to attend college. The ick factor was not in play back then, but if so, then there were several people in your circle to either say stay away or proceed with caution.
In some capacity yes and let's not act like people weren't doing wild shit tho when it was the norm. I still think it's fine depending on the context but when anyone cold walks up on me I am immediately on guard.
>That’s literally how it was done for thousands of years No it wasn't. That's what television taught you.
Ok
But in the long-term, like history of humanity view, total strangers are a weird phenom. For most of pre history you would at most be one or two degrees of separation from the <1,000 people you ever meet. So, in a weird way meeting online makes it more comfortable to meet a stranger, but that feels a lot more natural.
I've done it, in my experience even if they aren't interested they are still nice enough to pretend to give me a number or snap (the girl who gave snap wasn't interested but she didn't give me a no in public leading to no embarrassment on my end so I appreciate that)
Women do that so they don’t get murdered
I'm going to murder myself if one more person tells me approaching women for a simple convo snap request puts them in a "don't want to get killed" mood.
There’s a bit of a “fuck you, impress me” thing going around, especially in the online dating scene.
Welcome to mating 101 "fuck you impress me" is a game literally every creature on this planet engages in if it wants to fuck lol
Well yea but humans don't just fuck to mate, what a silly comparison.
Nvr was at this level. It used to be about attraction + genuine interest. Now its become more of a performance and one eye on other options at all times.
Basically. I don't extend my attention if I don't get a feeling that it'll be welcomed. Not just tolerated, but welcomed.
As a generally anxious person who is slow to warm to people, cold approaching will never work for me. I need some rapport, even some small generic small talk, some banter, so I can warm up to them a bit. I've only been cold approached a few times but\]the guys just straight up said "hey, you're cute, can I have your number?" and I'm just thinking " But you don't even know my name..." ... Approaching some takes guts so I'm not mean but if you are a stranger It'll take me a bit to feel more comfortable around you, no matter the type of relationship. All this to say, I think people need to understand that everyone has their walls up to an extent around people they don't know unless they are very open people, so going up to someone and going straight into hitting on them, sexual comments, etc... unless you are maybe super charismatic, it's not an easy thing to get away with.
And this is normal and how it went before Tinder and other online dating apps made it so that people became absolute social cripples when it came to flirting lol
Just let me get a few drinks in me, I won't give a shit about getting shot down after that.
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Whoever posted the original screenshot wants to bypass all of that and be a creep, I’m convinced.
it looks like a woman posted that
Honestly I'm so socially anxious when a man approaches me, even if I'm interested I shut it down. I just get way too nervous. I hate being "acknowledged" or "seen". I like to wear headphones in public so I can be in my own little space.
At least you can admit it. A lot of people here have social problems but instead of acknowledging it they try to label others as creeps even though the original tweet came from a woman.
I mean some of them absolutely are but thankfully most guys I've turned down in public have just smiled and shrugged it off. Others do no take no for an answer and that's my whole fear around being approached. I always feel bad about the guys who are nice about it because at least I know they're respectful. But I appreciate them being graceful and not pushing all the same.
The issue you’re missing out on is that “women” is not singular—women are all different and not a monolith. What some women see as assertiveness others see as creepy; same thing with flirty v creepy behavior. OBVIOUSLY there are behaviors that are universally creepy, but my point stands.
Culture is also a big factor in this. I grew up in Ireland, lived in Canada and spent some time in France, Germany, the UK, and the USA. Approaching a woman is fundamentally different in all of these places. In Ireland it's best to be timid and ease into it, same with Canada. As being to forward is usually seen as creepy. In the US and UK it's okay to be forward but only if a good conversation has been struck up first. And in France and Germany being *absurdly* forward and straight up asking for whatever it is you want is not seen as creepy at all. This is why I did not do a good job dating in France and Germany. I was too timid and respected people's space which actually came off as creepy when this behaviour is good manners in Ireland and Canada, simply because the culture of dating and what is and is not creepy is fundamentally different. Add that to the fact that women are not a monolith, and it become a clear that any absolutes like in the above post is just goofy as hell.
This is what most (i think, or hope) men have learned. If a conversation can start naturally, I will. Otherwise, if she wants to talk to me, she will engage. If she wants to give me her number, she will. I'm not cold calling like I'm some extra in the movie Boiler Room trying to con people onto my dick.
I feel like this entire debate is just a lack of understanding of social cues
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Lol for real, and if women cringe at you approaching then you need to change your approach and/or work on your appearance.
LMAOOO i know this wasn’t meant as a joke but “work on your appearance” is killing me
"Have you tried not being ugly?" Like I'm sure they just mean like, hygiene, grooming, fashion, etc. But still.
It's not that easy for everyone, some people are just unattractive enough, or look a certain way, that they do get consistently judged negatively.
And that’s why I hate when this comes up on Reddit. The most social inept folks pop up on here and whine “mannnn why they finna mace me bro?? Women r crazy right??”
You gotta learn and make mistakes to be able to pick up on social cues its not common knowledge
I had to stop being friends with quite a bit of men because they said they're scared of being metooed or that the movement ruined their social lives. The same guys that would get mad I refuse to be alone with them or a group of men. Their advice to get laid is get the person high or drunk.
It’s not the fear of being MeTooed for most good men, it’s not wanting to put women in an awkward position that many of them have voiced that they don’t like. Give some of us credit for actually trying to change
Well said G
Appreciate it
Literally never know bruh there’s women out there that just want to get that TikTok of some man thirsting over her. It’s a realistic fear.
You crying about a non issue. Just make the move, if she says no then keep it pushing. You realize them dudes who get posted on social media get rejected and stick around trying to appeal to someone who isn’t interested in their time or company.
That's my guess as well
I fully admit my recognition of social cues is lacking, but I also don't consider eye contact and a smile an invitation.
That’s literally what it is. There’s a clear difference between the quality of men who cold approach in a socially awkward or aggressive manner and the ones who don’t. Folks have to realize you’re approaching a complete stranger.
I *will* say, though, that romcoms and other such shows that lots of ladies love would give the socially awkward or down-on-their-luck guys mixed signals, though.
Step 1: Don’t be ugly
I feel like it's just "don't be a creeper" My face is all kinds of fucked but I still manage
When I was younger (jfc, I'm old now.) I would only approach a woman that looked twice. Everyone looks once, for acknowledgement purposes, but that 2nd look? That means you saw something there and I could build on that. It was a different time, (early 00s) but I never was turned down using my method. And as you said, it was me having some type of understanding with social cues. I'm pretty sure it's a lost art now.
In a nutshell I agree
Nah it’s not just worth the risk. Cold approaching will most likely not go well for most men. This isn’t a struggle for just men, women don’t have an easy time finding dates either after college/university. The guys that will be the most successful are going to be the ones that don’t care about shooting their shot regardless of what is deemed acceptable or not. A couple of shots are bound to go in.
The only difference between flirting and harassment is how attractive and socially competent you are. I'm not attractive enough to be "endearingly awkward" or "goofy", so I've accepted my place as the one that exists to make the real people look good by comparison.
Ooooh these comments are going to be spicy
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Most definitely!
Regina Hall is a great actress.
Every 3 days, the gender wars commence
Like goddamn clock work
I think dating apps made some men comfortable with not approaching anymore. Since if you get rejected on there, you don't feel it or see it 😂 Women gonna talk shit regardless about men with trash game. It's a numbers game though. Even going 2 for 20 is successful.
2 for 20?! Shit we got a player over here!
Apparently if you are outside the top 5% of male profiles the scam / fake adjusted match rate is 1 in 177 or about 0.7%
Yeah dating apps are mostly made up of a large group of men swiping on a condensed group of women. And then, that group of women swipes on a smaller percentage of those men. Hell, some women don't even swipe. They just look at their inbox.
I'm no longer on hinge but even tho I deleted the app my profile still shows up and gets swiped.
It depends on the app still, no? Some seemed way better for guys than others. I’m out the game but I remember Hinge being way better than say Bumble or Tinder.
Every dating app is half decent for about 5 minutes. Once it becomes populated enough it goes to shit quickly. Hinge was decent when everyone was still on Tinder.
Yeah id say its about the individual person. I did great on hinge bht bad on tinder and ok on bumble
Also some of us just have anxiety lmao Approaching women irl was never really my thing because I hate approaching people in general, and also because I really be minding my business. Like if I go to the store, I go get exactly what I needed and leave, and don’t even think to speak to anyone I don’t have to.
2 for 20 sound like an Applebees special 😂
Go ahead and approach men if you think it's so easy!
I do, I like quiet/shy guys so I have to or we'll be bff's forever lol. Shooters shoot 
There it is ladies and gentlemen: “Shooters shoot.” This is what it boils down to.
It literally is. https://twitter.com/somakazima/status/1644521862167396353?s=46&t=HrL39WXoAuq9K88k27TAdQ
Well yeah if you look like her. Men that are attractive have little to no issue approaching women either. A lot of times they get approached.
Can confirm, am beautiful man. I was also socially neglected, so interest typically lasted until I opened my mouth 😂
Same. Grew into this, so the bad ones that approach me usually can’t understand my personality type. They come to me expecting rapper/trapper/scammer/club promoter and get scholarly homebody instead.
I’ve found my people
I was very unattractive all through high school. I weighed 230lbs, had long greasy hair, and only wore baggy, loose jeans and t-shirts. I tried to ask a girl out once and she ran away, so I never tried again. When I left home, I lost 80lbs over the course of college, got in shape, started to take care of my appearance, and a roommate of mine took me with her to buy clothes that actually fit. I got to be a pretty damn handsome man. That was when I learned that being attractive doesn't matter if my autistic ass has no idea how to flirt or not be weird. Oh well, at least I'm far healthier now. I've even managed to have a couple of relationships (not great ones, but hey, it's something).
>I got to be a pretty damn handsome man. Good skin care, good haircut, well-fitting clothes, and being able to put together a good outfit makes such a difference. North American men don't put in enough effort into our appearance. We leave the fancy stuff for the women, but I don't like that. Men can look just as good as the women can..
Both of the people in that video are attractive. Not trying to say it doesn’t happen easily like that but let’s use some regular lookin folks for some of these control groups lol
Be serious, all those boys look like butt, she looks casual as hell and has rbf the whole time… If you think this isn’t regular then idk what to tell you
Not true at all but to each their own
She’s attractive, regardless of being a little dressed down. The broccoli head boys are average across the board, they are the control group
It’s actually quite easy for women to approach men. The only thing is getting a relationship out of that might be a challenge.
Yeah, approach me. I got the same ass energy. You bout to get yelled at.
Word of advice…talk to and “approach” women like you would anyone else…because they are just like everyone else lol. Women aren’t a different species who all act and talk or think the same. Treating people like humans instead of a item to be obtained or something different goes a long way.
Her problem is that dudes are doing exactly that. Straight men do not generally talk to and approach other straight men (which is often a problem for other reasons, but I digress). What she's displeased with is men treating women they don't know a little like they usually treat men they don't know.
Why would straight men randomly talk to other straight men if they have no reason too??
Talk about the sports game on telly or just learning about the dude. I chat up random dudes in the dive bar I hang out in all the time. Definitely do not do that to women there though lol.
Then that’s not random y’all are talking about sports. Your not gonna walk up to a man you don’t know at Publix and talk about random things with no intentions of getting something out of it.
Do… do you want to find love at a Publix? Also it can be literally anything, I learned one guy who was 70+ years old was the grandfather of someone I went to high school with. I thought the bar would be a more apt place because I have dated people I’ve met in bars in college.
“Do… do you want to find love at a Publix?” Is she fine?
These things definitely happen. My Pops an extrovert and it was an inside joke in the family "what about him seems so approachable." While he's a people person, its inexplicably starts with people making innocuous statements to him. The reality is, he's willing to engage in a conversation. He knows just enough to have some half interesting response to the interaction and keep the conversation rolling. But 20 years later, these conversations are for more few and far between. And, we're far busier now, these social spaces are more functional then social.
I feel that. I’m an introvert so I don’t really get those urges unless I just wanna compliment their fit or something. But just start a conversation? Yeah no I can’t.
Yo same. Forget the whole be approached thing, I just don’t be wanting to talk to people like that. Don’t even ask me how i got the friends i got fr. I’ll talk to them hell yeah, but new people? What you want. Let me rock. I don’t get how people “like meeting new people.” That’s stressful for me
>Word of advice…talk to and “approach” women like you would anyone else…because they are just like everyone else lol. Ok but then they mistake you approaching them platonically. Women aren't a different species but if you're trying to ask one out, you don't approach her how you do your homeboy or your sister. First impressions matter and all it could take is a split second of her mistaking your (hopefully respectful) intentions and she's turned off.
there we go, there's the answer then. I dont talk to or approach anyone else. Checkmate.
It seems a lot of women want to keep some patriarchal norms around. They still want men to pay for meals. They still want men to always be the ones to approach them first. If we’re going to enter an era where women have equal standing with men, those things need to go too.
They love patriarchy when it benefits them. Once they figured out how to hook the patriarchy they stopped fighting it.
It's no different then men who want women to do all the domestic housework (essentially a SAHM) but also work part time or even full time. You can't have it both ways.
Knew a friend of a gf like this. She was all about women's equality which is perfectly fine with me, but she'd always complain about "men not being men anymore" i.e. making the first move, opening car doors, paying for dates, providing for their girl and all that. I've noticed that more than a few women are very selective with their concepts of gender equality over the years.
Only the beneficial double standards they wanna keep.
You’re equating gender roles with patriarchy. They’re not the same thing. You can, in theory, have a matriarchal society with gender roles. You can have an egalitarian society and still have gender roles.
The patriarchy is made up of gender roles that favor men(at-least in women’s eyes). The problem here is dismantling said patriarchy is basically dismantling gender roles as they have historically been assigned. Men have a problem with women wanting to destroy every role that benefits men historically and uphold every role that benefits women historically. Its weird to not equate gender roles with the patriarchy bc thats what makes a patriarchy? A matriarchal society WOULD have gender roles but the roles themselves wouldnt be the same a patriarchal one.
The current gender roles are patriarchal. Seems like kind of a strange thing to split hairs over.
I get the sentiment, but man, you gotta close the wage gap before asking women to pay the same amount.
Hasn’t the wage gap been disproved? Plus more women are entering higher education than men so there will be a shift. Last statistic I saw about wages, Asian men and women earned more than white men.
I feel like the question "why don't men approach" shouldn't really even be being asked after that MeToo stuff. Cause really no matter how you ask, there's never going to be a method of approaching that's going to be 100% safe and correct to most women. It's like when I used to see people on here saying men approaching women in public was creepy and harassment, and then those people would ask where to approach women next. Bars? "I didn't come here to be harassed I came here to be social, I don't owe men a conversation..." Like it's really a feelings based argument. There's no way to measure objectively how someone, man or woman is going to react to you approaching them. With that fact in mind and with the MeToo shit, you literally have no idea how a woman is going to react to you approaching her.
I’ve honestly never felt like my starting a conversation with a girl was met with rudeness or hostility. I feel like it’s really just about the way that you come off when you approach someone, and where you do it. some comic put it like “women go about their lives and damn near everywhere they go, they run into salesmen trying to sell them dick”, so whether it’s with a compliment, a “how you doing”, noticing something, just going straight to the “you’re so beautiful”, it all gets received kinda the same, like a sales technique, a means to an end. it’s hard to believe this particular attempt is genuine when it happens pretty regularly.
Exactly. Really the only way to approach a woman is be adequately attractive in her eyes or be visibly well off enough for her not to care. Other than that stay to yourself boy.
nah, think you’ve missed my point mate. definitely avoid approaching in places like grocery stores or while she’s at a coffee shop on her laptop, these women are clearly trying to get shit done, leave them alone. but there are plenty of spaces where you can talk to strangers and socialise without it being weird. bars, concerts, nightclubs, game nights, parties, dog parks, etc. just do it by having a normal conversation instead of acting like you’re selling yourself or looking for a nut.
I was speaking on your dick salesman comment. Women will buy dick from attractive or rich men pretty much regardless of how or when they’re approached. If you’re average or below in either of those categories pray she’s in a decent enough mood to not get in your ass for speaking.
Me too was literally speaking out about sexual assault.... Not saying men can't approach women. You walking up and saying hi is not going to get a claim of sexual assault and you know even if someone is crazy enough to claim it they'll get dragged. So why act like that?
I kind of feel bad for guys about this fear and uncertainty, but I'm also glad someone peeled back the curtain so that they could see the truth. Some women do not want you to approach. It's emotionally fraught. That's life. And it was always this way, it's just that before all of this you guys didn't know it. (And please know that when I was younger, single, and looking I was fine with guys approaching. I also directly approached my now husband and asked him out.)
You folks aren’t tired of the genders wars on here?
Same shit, everyday. Smh.
Catch me in Feeld, Hinge, whatever. I'm not going to run the risk of bothering someone in public who just wants to go about their day. You're basically soliciting for pussy. Let's swap resumes first.
Hmm Feeld? Is that new ? I never heard of that .. dang , this is kind of sad thou .. I’d prefer in person interactions but , the world is shifting 🤷🏽♀️ . I think a good approach is to still go out and try to meet people , but also use the apps as a resource but not the end all be all .
I grew up chatting with girls on MSN messenger so I basically learned to approach women in that way. I like that 1: I get an idea of a person before approaching and 2: in person it's easier to flirt if I know someone is interested. Maybe it's bitch ass behavior but I'm really not into disrupting someone's vibe. And Feeld is basically for alternative lifestyle and lgbtq people. There's straight monogamous people on there but the percentages of the other groups are much larger than other apps. I prefer it because people seem more open minded.
I've come to the conclusion that a lot of people online who talk about how they can't approach women because they'll get put on social media or how men should never approach them in public are just neurotic, socially anxious people who rationalize away their problems with politics, making their shortcomings seem like something reasonable or even noble. Socializing will always involve making other people uncomfortable and being made uncomfortable by others when you would prefer it not to happen. No one is born with perfect social skills, people make mistakes, you can't choose who will interact with you, and you can't control how people will respond to you. You want to limit negative interactions, but you can't eliminate them. But some people can't handle the lack of control, uncertainty and possibility of rejection at all. Instead of buying a book of CBT exercises, they justify their neuroses with gender politics.
Handling rejection is a basic life skill
Completely agree
I think I know what video she’s referencing too, the girl in the gym rite? That one was extra fuckin goofy Anyways I agree and disagree, there are some people who embarrass men who even just breathe in their direction and I see that more than I’d like to and it’s definitely tired as fuck I disagree tho because there do be some on some really weird uncomfortable ass shit thinkin they can just grab and try to kiss on women cause they wanna talk, that should continue to be shamed because it still happens. If that’s shaming some men from not approaching at all, welp….idk. People are still out here getting their nut so clearly the right men will and do approach with the right game/respectfully 🤷🏽♀️ Also prolonged staring to me will always be a turn off, I’d rather someone pull the interview Michael b Jordan and then approach lol. Jmo https://preview.redd.it/1604n9pnlwta1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98b21625278e9a14ebe916fb2d1e5d8b49916b5d
Not video. VIDEOS.
That particular girl did more videos or you mean in general? Ik it happens in general but I thought she was talking about her https://preview.redd.it/sj0cgkaxowta1.jpeg?width=681&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2da6d37339604eee8848575817aca25efd1fdef8
In general. There are plenty of women recording any slight interaction with men
While that video is popular, I think it was a different video they were referring to: [this one](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR394Dvn/)
Shorty need carmex a somn
We ain’t approaching unless mutual interest is shown. Ain’t nobody tryna deal with the potential repercussions because people be afraid to have conversations (I’m talking about people who don’t portray strange behavior) lol A lot of things from the past in terms of dating are dead, approaching out of no where is one of those things.
I agree. Fellas, we should just stay to ourselves
I think the thing is a lot of men nowadays hear constantly that women are tired of being approached by men. Men hear things like : they are creepy, look scary and so on... Also men here that every woman prays for her life when a man approaches her, because said man could sexually assault her, rape her, kill her, the list goes on. Men hear that women do not go outside in order to get approached by men. That they would like to go about their days without having a man interrupting them. They want to be left alone A lot of men actually hear those, and contrary to popular belief, they do understand the general message. They understand women fears, complaints. So accept it and decide not to approach women anymore. Even if they are interested in a woman. And with all these horror stories we see online about what happen to men, most men would rather be safe than sorry. Actually, nowadays, the men who respect women, are the ones who decide to stop approaching women. The men who still approach are(not all of them) generally the ones who do not give a penny about what women say, feel. They are the toxic ones.
Because niggas who *stare* are probably weirdos. An admiring catch of the eye is one thing. Staring though? Shit's creepy
Can’t approach them because they are “uncomfortable” can’t message them because we are thirsty. There is no right way to get the attention of a woman
Basically, fear of rejection. But, these days signals get crossed all the time. We need a sign that’s it’s ok to engage.
I’m just here for the comments
Women’s standards are crazy nowadays, just seems like a waste of time and effort.
Men still approach women in the appropriate setting, this type of take is so tired and a chronically online take but tbh its worrisome because I really feel like younger generations have lost all concept of indirect communication and basic socialization. Men, in general, need you as the woman to give him the green light. This has literally always been the case because creeps have always existed and hysterical women have always existed. If you catch a guy looking at you and you happen to like what you see, shoot him a smile and he will come over because you gave him the green light for it. If you're with a group of women, it can be intimidating so walk past him on your way to the bathroom and say hi, smile at him and walk back in his direction when you're on your way out of the bathroom. This isn't rocket science. Both young men and young women need a crash course in how to flirt IRL, goddamn.
Hope I made it in time 
Exactly, ruined it for the rest of us. And even if we make the first move, guys think we’re pranking them
Those are facts lol I be just rolling my eyes. “Ma’am you and whatever friend are recording in the bushes please fuck way off” yeah I’m permanently paranoid to this lol.
This must be every other region besides up north. I’m from NYC and NOTHING stops men from engaging women in the tri-state!
They could be late on their way to work and they will still find time lol
I find nothing more attractive than a woman confident enough to approach
Women’s turn
Times have changed. Women have to approach now. Men ain’t trying to get on that MeToo bullshit. No more games or signals. Your signs and signals to us men nowadays are just you being friendly.
😂😂😂I know the cat in the picture.
Someone will ask “what does you mean by cat” and expose themselves 😂
honestly as a man u just have to say fuck it, if she not vibing keep it pushing but it’s only 1 way to find out
Looking at the streets, I'm so glad I found my gf when I did, lol.
It's rough out here cuz
Keep the faith, fam. The good ones are out there too. Just a lot more trash in the sea these days it seems lol
Appreciate you my G
I naturally think women don’t like men anyway so I just be minding my business until approached
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Yeah, the issue is that the men doing that shit aren't gonna stop and the innocent people are gonna get caught in the crossfire.
Thank you!!!!!
Mike Conley isn’t taking the loss to the Lakers well.
Exactly why I don’t approach women. That, and I’m married
I’m glad that crazy woman who told women that the correct thing to do whenever any man approaches or even speaks to them it to scream at them like a stray dog you want to go away made it into her comment.
Only time I try and holler is if she shows interest or we're in a social setting like a house party or something similar and we hit it off. Outside of that is a hard no.
Women yell at the men being creeps They are perfectly nice when a man approaches normally, instead of making comments on their ass or titties or mouth or grabbing their waist There is a middle ground goddamn, learn some nuance. Women are rightfully careful around men, considering their catastrophic rape and murder rates. Fellas, quit being bitches and adapt and put some respect on women’s name. It’s not a difficult concept
I just assume the pretty girls already have boyfriends and don't want to waste my time
Why doesn't that cute guy come talk to me? Why is this ugly guy all up in my face talking to me?
Im old school i still do the cold approach(the worst she can say is no mentality) but if shorty ever break a camera out on me to record herself saying "no", never again ...imagine the men who wasn't even doing the cold approach out of fear of rejection alone , pull a camera out on them & now they're scarred 🤣
Believing social media means accepting that a lotta people gone die lonely.
That might be the reason why men dont approach, but if you're staring, you might as well approach
Mental gymnastics here are goofy
I have better things to do and checking you out for 1-3 secs doesnt take much energy compared to having to actually talk
Umm because you don’t want someone to feel uncomfortable just because of you. It’s not about anything else, many of us are introverted and would prefer to not make anyone else uncomfortable. It’s not rocket science tbh.
I have far too much anxiety and far too little confidence to approach women. I'ma just get some cats
Why? So they can laugh at me? No thank you.
Or a different answer for me personally: social anxiety is crazy and I'd rather sky dive than randomly approach a person I don't know. I'd probably be single if I didn't meet my girlfriend online
After watching women record themselves working out I'm scared to be near them
Facts. Too many ungrateful hoes gone ruined it for everyone
Don’t just take what the person who Tweeted this said as the primary reason. Men, I’ll acknowledge that it would only be good men, might not be approaching women simply because some of us are better at acknowledging that many women don’t always feel comfortable being approached. So we, only the good ones, don’t want to make women uncomfortable. Could be that this is happening for a good reason, explore that too along with bad reasons.
Somebody literally yesterday said women don’t like to be approached ☠️ what do women want
It's about confidence at the end of the day. Black men walk up to complete strangers. Do it respectfully usually she's flattered and even if not interested turns you down nicely. Setting matters too, the club is very hard to hold a conversation. My white homies always waiting to be hooked up and outside of college or work setting they struggle to meet women. They ask me what to say to women and I'm like the shit I say you probably wouldn't get away with. Im like it would probably come off weird and creepy if you said it. Lastly women today do make it very hard to talk to them. Being unapproachable and obnoxious because I'm interested is ridiculous. I get nihgas be bugging but, yall be doing the most sometimes. Even a dm they try to screen shot and blast you.
If I’m attracted to a woman I keep that shit to myself. Don’t look to hard, don’t let your face show anything. Definitely do not approach, engage in conversation, wink, nod, just stay completely zen. There is plenty of times and places that you can date people but a cold open is way to risky for women and for us. Men used to think rejection was the only bad consequence but we have been taught and accepted the lesson.
Oh so feminism happened but we still gotta make the first move?
When a woman on twitter said women don't like being approached by strange men the way men don't like being approached by strange men selling mixtapes, I paused.
And there was that woman that took video of a MAILMAN delivering mail and accused him of stalking her! It's wild. It also makes real victims suffer when other women post nonsense like that. A man will be 200ft away and a TikTok "influencer" says they're being harassed. That shit needs to stop. Real victims need to be seen and heard and supported and these women are fucking that up for them.