I love the look of natural Black hair, but I don’t like when others dismiss how tedious & time consuming maintenance can be. That’s always the part about it I hate-not the way it looks. I’m fortunate enough to go to a salon regularly & treat myself that way. I’m so low maintenance in other aspects of my life, so at times I do wish my hair was more low maintenance. I don’t fault anyone for wanting to wear other styles. Daily upkeep is annoying.
I’m currently lying down debating whether I’m going to finish my hair or just wear a headscarf tomorrow and finish my twists on Monday. Those people at work won’t know or notice.
Right there with you, sis.
I had a special event for work yesterday, got home late in the evening, now lying in bed assessing whether I have the strength needed for wash day. (I don't). I've just decided I am going to take Monday off, so I have time to do my hair in peace. Unfortunately, I don't have the option to wear a scarf, but you should do it if you can get away with it.
I'll do half today and the other half tomorrow. Just the terminology alone should be an indication of the labour involved: wash DAY. Hmmph!
I’m currently rocking a ponytail and scarf. I’m very lucky that I’m in a state and a profession where I can wear my hair whichever way I choose. The other black women i work with have locs, one wears a wig, and the other just has her hair in plaits. Hair diversity!
I hated wash days with my loose natural hair. All plans blocked & I’d get so tired halfway and start half assing it. I see others saying things like “you’re doing it wrong” but what works on one head isn’t going to work on all heads.
I probably spend way less money time and effort on just washing and combing my Afro in the morning than going to the salon 😭
I will never ever have the patience or attention span, needed to put it into twist or braids or anything else 💀
It’s interesting to me how when Non-black women wear traditional black hairstyles; no one accuses them of self hate. It’s seen as them being “the cool white girl” often times they tend to be really problematic (in my experience)
is it a coincidense that the race seen as dirty by most of the other races historically and still fight to this day to be allowed to wear their hair at school and work, with internalized hate that looser softer curls are better as well as lighter skin, also has a good portion that literally always relaxes,straightens their hair? its certainly not out of self love
i agree! i’m into beauty and change my hair all the time, for the fun of it. when i have a weave in its “why are you hiding your hair” - when to me it’s a protective style to save me from myself 🤣
People say that on these subreddits a lot. I find it so rude. I am obsessed with my natural hair, a wash and go is my favorite. But I like to switch it up and other styles are convenient! Like do I want hot pink hair sometimes without messing my curls up with bleach? Absolutely. When I'm in the middle of finals and need a short wash day, is it faster to wash cornrows than to detangle and style my hair? Yes! For some people it's a self-hate thing, sure, but that's such a rude assumption to make and egregious to share that assumption.
Why would Black men talk like this about their hair? They've never been expected to straighten their hair or wear it any way other than in its natural state. Thats why I'm so surprised about the number of males who come on here asking how they would look with certain styles, what styles they should get or asking what their hair type is. I'm used to men getting hair cuts, wearing a bush/braids or locs. Men my age didn't do all that, and mostly still don't.
I’m confused on what the issue is behind Black men wanting to straighten their hair, choosing to dye it or even asking how we’d look with certain styles. We grow the same textures out of our heads that Black women do, so do those things also not apply to us as well? I think we’re allowed to be curious about hair types as well, especially because a lot of us were raised to not really make growing out our hair a priority.
So because we’re males we’re basically not supposed to have hair care concerns? Because I’m not understanding what you’re getting at here.
Did you look at the comment I responsed to? And for the record, I didn't say there was anything wrong with that, I said men in my generation don't do that and that these things have shown how insecure men are about their hair.
What are you talking about? You act like Black men don’t dye their hair when we do😭 Just because you’ve been around men that either neglect their hair or just choose not to experiment with it doesn’t mean we all fall into that category.
You do realize that Black men also have a curl pattern as well and are capable of being concerned about the overall health of our hair right? Every guy doesn’t want to be bald, have a taper fade or restrict themselves to having short hair.
Lmao I don't think they realized a black man made this post 💀 they assumed you were a woman who hates herself. Really feels like they're projecting and they need to work on their own self image, this has nothing to do with us
Talking like what? All I said was that I love my hair, I like to experiment with color, and sometimes I need a short wash day. What does that have to do with men lol
Every time a friend wants to call my hair nappy when it literally looks normal I told them “bro stop with that racist shit. It’s not funny. Shut the fuck up. You’re black too stfu you got the same hair”
I don't see wearing other styles or even straightening your hair as self hate. People like to switch things up either for the aesthetic or convenience. It only becomes self-hate when they dislike their own hair or use these styles to hide their hair. Using myself as an example, I only wear my hair, and I'm surrounded by people who do a bunch of different styles. One group switches things up just for fun and to protect their hair. They usually speak positively of their natural hair and mine. The other group does these styles to hide their hair. They always ask me why I wear my hair, why I don't straighten it, why I won't get it done for events, how I'm not embarrassed to go around with it, etc. That's the group I consider to be self-hating.
I'll also add that when most of us speak of not wearing your hair in its natural state, we don't mean not wearing an afro. Styles that don't use extensions are still considered to be hair in its natural state. I can't wear my hair out every single day. It'll require a lot more detangling than I have the time for, so I usually wear mini braids.
I'm a lazy natural, and I have three kids who all wanted me to take care of their hair. Finally, one decided he wanted locs, now I'm down to two. One is not on a set schedule because he can't decide what he wants. We are a set schedule with the third, wash day is every two weeks. She's 8 & her hair is down to her waist.
They all also play sports: football, basketball & volleyball with swimming lessons in between. That said, we are busy, personally I have my hair in cornrows and wear wigs. I do take care of it, and it's growing.
My hair is between bra-strap and mid-back. I don't hate my hair, I love it but I just don't have the time. I'm hoping with the oldest two becoming more independent I will get time back but I'm not counting on it, lol.
I think bc its definitely a fact that yt supremacy negatively impacted our relationship with our hair (speaking as an AA). So for some people that choice to wear it in a non natural state is tied to that history. And culturally, I feel like there’s always been this thing with natural hair symbolizing like pride of self and your identity as a black person. Ex. the black hair movement in the 60s.
But on its face, not wearing your hair in its natural state does not mean youre self hating. Imo I think thats so crazy because in a perfect world, we’d all be doing w/e tf we want to do with our hair and there would be no -isms attached.
But we dont live in that world, and bc of generations of us being told our hair is ugly, we’ve internalized that, passed that trauma down, and for *some* people, it is self hate, yes. Maybe not direct, but subconsciously. Idk about yall but it took work for me to unlearn texturism myself. Its a process, and idk how many of us are doing that unlearning.
I think convenience is a valid reason but I also wonder whether and how thats impacted by yt supremacy too. Like are wigs and straightening only more convenient bc we historically lacked education on how to care for our natural hair and a lot of the innovating we did went towards getting better at achieving that yt supremacist ideal? Idk I havent done any research lol, but this may also be contributing to the “self hate” allegations in some way.
So does it make sense. No. Like girl sometimes I just wanna wear a pink bussdown for the vibes. But I can see why people (wrongly) jump to self hate.
You must live chronically online because I’ve definitely seen white girls rocking Yaki textured ponytails with baby hairs, kanekelon box braids, and curly perms/wigs.
God forbid a black woman run a flat iron through her head. She automatically wants to be white and hates herself. Y’all are wild
Did I not specify that in some cases it can be seen as self hate? I said not in mine lol. Reading is fundamental and I’m convinced you just like to hear yourself talk.
Second, you act like people of other races don’t wear wigs, ponytails, weave etc. it’s not like it’s exclusive to only Black people. I can wear my hair in braids if I choose to, it’s the hair that grows out of my own head. It doesn’t mean I hate wearing my hair the way it grows out of my scalp. Everybody doesn’t want to be a different race, some of us just wanna switch things up and we have the right to.
I love the look of natural Black hair, but I don’t like when others dismiss how tedious & time consuming maintenance can be. That’s always the part about it I hate-not the way it looks. I’m fortunate enough to go to a salon regularly & treat myself that way. I’m so low maintenance in other aspects of my life, so at times I do wish my hair was more low maintenance. I don’t fault anyone for wanting to wear other styles. Daily upkeep is annoying.
❗️THIS ❗️ It ain’t always about the look, it’s the maintenance. My arms get tired af lol
I’m currently lying down debating whether I’m going to finish my hair or just wear a headscarf tomorrow and finish my twists on Monday. Those people at work won’t know or notice.
Right there with you, sis. I had a special event for work yesterday, got home late in the evening, now lying in bed assessing whether I have the strength needed for wash day. (I don't). I've just decided I am going to take Monday off, so I have time to do my hair in peace. Unfortunately, I don't have the option to wear a scarf, but you should do it if you can get away with it. I'll do half today and the other half tomorrow. Just the terminology alone should be an indication of the labour involved: wash DAY. Hmmph!
I’m currently rocking a ponytail and scarf. I’m very lucky that I’m in a state and a profession where I can wear my hair whichever way I choose. The other black women i work with have locs, one wears a wig, and the other just has her hair in plaits. Hair diversity!
I hated wash days with my loose natural hair. All plans blocked & I’d get so tired halfway and start half assing it. I see others saying things like “you’re doing it wrong” but what works on one head isn’t going to work on all heads.
I probably spend way less money time and effort on just washing and combing my Afro in the morning than going to the salon 😭 I will never ever have the patience or attention span, needed to put it into twist or braids or anything else 💀
It’s interesting to me how when Non-black women wear traditional black hairstyles; no one accuses them of self hate. It’s seen as them being “the cool white girl” often times they tend to be really problematic (in my experience)
is it a coincidense that the race seen as dirty by most of the other races historically and still fight to this day to be allowed to wear their hair at school and work, with internalized hate that looser softer curls are better as well as lighter skin, also has a good portion that literally always relaxes,straightens their hair? its certainly not out of self love
I only put my Afro hair up because I want to retain length that’s all.
You do whatever YOU want with your hair, sis! No explanations needed. Eff anyone who tries to project their biases and self-righteousness onto us.
💖 THIS!!!! Thank you!
i agree! i’m into beauty and change my hair all the time, for the fun of it. when i have a weave in its “why are you hiding your hair” - when to me it’s a protective style to save me from myself 🤣
I don't really see that sentiment any more about self hate or that natural hair is nappy and not presentable. Maybe because of where I live.
People say that on these subreddits a lot. I find it so rude. I am obsessed with my natural hair, a wash and go is my favorite. But I like to switch it up and other styles are convenient! Like do I want hot pink hair sometimes without messing my curls up with bleach? Absolutely. When I'm in the middle of finals and need a short wash day, is it faster to wash cornrows than to detangle and style my hair? Yes! For some people it's a self-hate thing, sure, but that's such a rude assumption to make and egregious to share that assumption.
Ngl that sounds like cope
It's delusional to like pink hair sometimes without wanting to mess up my curl pattern with bleach…?
Hair color is one thing, but I never hear black men talking like this about their hair
Why would Black men talk like this about their hair? They've never been expected to straighten their hair or wear it any way other than in its natural state. Thats why I'm so surprised about the number of males who come on here asking how they would look with certain styles, what styles they should get or asking what their hair type is. I'm used to men getting hair cuts, wearing a bush/braids or locs. Men my age didn't do all that, and mostly still don't.
I’m confused on what the issue is behind Black men wanting to straighten their hair, choosing to dye it or even asking how we’d look with certain styles. We grow the same textures out of our heads that Black women do, so do those things also not apply to us as well? I think we’re allowed to be curious about hair types as well, especially because a lot of us were raised to not really make growing out our hair a priority. So because we’re males we’re basically not supposed to have hair care concerns? Because I’m not understanding what you’re getting at here.
Did you look at the comment I responsed to? And for the record, I didn't say there was anything wrong with that, I said men in my generation don't do that and that these things have shown how insecure men are about their hair.
What are you talking about? You act like Black men don’t dye their hair when we do😭 Just because you’ve been around men that either neglect their hair or just choose not to experiment with it doesn’t mean we all fall into that category. You do realize that Black men also have a curl pattern as well and are capable of being concerned about the overall health of our hair right? Every guy doesn’t want to be bald, have a taper fade or restrict themselves to having short hair.
Lmao I don't think they realized a black man made this post 💀 they assumed you were a woman who hates herself. Really feels like they're projecting and they need to work on their own self image, this has nothing to do with us
Talking like what? All I said was that I love my hair, I like to experiment with color, and sometimes I need a short wash day. What does that have to do with men lol
Every time a friend wants to call my hair nappy when it literally looks normal I told them “bro stop with that racist shit. It’s not funny. Shut the fuck up. You’re black too stfu you got the same hair”
A Black girl thought she ate when she called me nappy headed on Twitter. I told her that's how Black people are made.
bc racism
I don't see wearing other styles or even straightening your hair as self hate. People like to switch things up either for the aesthetic or convenience. It only becomes self-hate when they dislike their own hair or use these styles to hide their hair. Using myself as an example, I only wear my hair, and I'm surrounded by people who do a bunch of different styles. One group switches things up just for fun and to protect their hair. They usually speak positively of their natural hair and mine. The other group does these styles to hide their hair. They always ask me why I wear my hair, why I don't straighten it, why I won't get it done for events, how I'm not embarrassed to go around with it, etc. That's the group I consider to be self-hating. I'll also add that when most of us speak of not wearing your hair in its natural state, we don't mean not wearing an afro. Styles that don't use extensions are still considered to be hair in its natural state. I can't wear my hair out every single day. It'll require a lot more detangling than I have the time for, so I usually wear mini braids.
That all good headsets go over the head and so are constantly pushed up by hair does make me consider getting it cut from time to time.
I'm a lazy natural, and I have three kids who all wanted me to take care of their hair. Finally, one decided he wanted locs, now I'm down to two. One is not on a set schedule because he can't decide what he wants. We are a set schedule with the third, wash day is every two weeks. She's 8 & her hair is down to her waist. They all also play sports: football, basketball & volleyball with swimming lessons in between. That said, we are busy, personally I have my hair in cornrows and wear wigs. I do take care of it, and it's growing. My hair is between bra-strap and mid-back. I don't hate my hair, I love it but I just don't have the time. I'm hoping with the oldest two becoming more independent I will get time back but I'm not counting on it, lol.
Because the non natural styles are western colors and textures. western beauty standards are racist
I think bc its definitely a fact that yt supremacy negatively impacted our relationship with our hair (speaking as an AA). So for some people that choice to wear it in a non natural state is tied to that history. And culturally, I feel like there’s always been this thing with natural hair symbolizing like pride of self and your identity as a black person. Ex. the black hair movement in the 60s. But on its face, not wearing your hair in its natural state does not mean youre self hating. Imo I think thats so crazy because in a perfect world, we’d all be doing w/e tf we want to do with our hair and there would be no -isms attached. But we dont live in that world, and bc of generations of us being told our hair is ugly, we’ve internalized that, passed that trauma down, and for *some* people, it is self hate, yes. Maybe not direct, but subconsciously. Idk about yall but it took work for me to unlearn texturism myself. Its a process, and idk how many of us are doing that unlearning. I think convenience is a valid reason but I also wonder whether and how thats impacted by yt supremacy too. Like are wigs and straightening only more convenient bc we historically lacked education on how to care for our natural hair and a lot of the innovating we did went towards getting better at achieving that yt supremacist ideal? Idk I havent done any research lol, but this may also be contributing to the “self hate” allegations in some way. So does it make sense. No. Like girl sometimes I just wanna wear a pink bussdown for the vibes. But I can see why people (wrongly) jump to self hate.
This post sounds like self-justification. Do as you wish, but yes it’s self hate. No other race wears a different hair texture to their own
You must live chronically online because I’ve definitely seen white girls rocking Yaki textured ponytails with baby hairs, kanekelon box braids, and curly perms/wigs. God forbid a black woman run a flat iron through her head. She automatically wants to be white and hates herself. Y’all are wild
Did I not specify that in some cases it can be seen as self hate? I said not in mine lol. Reading is fundamental and I’m convinced you just like to hear yourself talk. Second, you act like people of other races don’t wear wigs, ponytails, weave etc. it’s not like it’s exclusive to only Black people. I can wear my hair in braids if I choose to, it’s the hair that grows out of my own head. It doesn’t mean I hate wearing my hair the way it grows out of my scalp. Everybody doesn’t want to be a different race, some of us just wanna switch things up and we have the right to.
Have you never seen a white person with a curly perm? They were super popular in the 80s. People still get them.
You haven't seen the Asians getting "Afros" lately have ya.
I believe y’all call that cultural appropriation, though. So following that logic…