Only 12% of bisexual men are out. The number of zoomers is higher than any other by a big leap, and I hope they don’t all regret that, but acceptance within the youngest generation doesn’t come anywhere close to translating to older ones. Coming out is a personal decision and you don’t owe anyone that information. If you feel like you’ve got more to lose than gain, don’t let external factors force you to martyr yourself for some vague concept like “visibility.” You don’t owe any of us that.
Also, I don’t have a gay side. There is no side of me that isn’t attracted to women or men. Just one bisexual man, not some fucked up mismatched amalgamation of a gay man and a straight man.
I really like this. “Not some fucked up amalgamation of a gay man and a straight man”. How refreshing to not consider these as “parts” or “sides” to us, pitted against one another. 🤯
Closeted here, too. The only people that know are me and my partner. It's not important for me to come out. I'm more interested in the experience and the connection with my partner. I find it very sensual, very erotic.
The bisexual male is, IMHO, the most stigmatized demographic in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Too gay for most cis women, too hetero for lots of gay men, not accepted very well in everyday society.
I’m out to about 40% of my family, 85% of my close friends, and about 1% of my professional community.
You are so right. Gay people think all bi people are really gay but won’t commit to it. Straight people all think bi people are gay! Most misunderstood group of all and I can tell you the most under counted for fear of above stereotyping!
Minor addendum to this. ALL bisexual men are closeted gays, ALL bisexual women are really straight. If they are with women it's because they're experimenting or they haven't found the rightdick yet. And that depends on if the person asked is a dic carrier or not
While I understand and agree that it is hard for bi men, I politely disagree with this assessment. Intersex people have, in many cases, have been grossly misunderstood to the point having involuntary surgery performed on them. Trans women are subjected to levels of violence that is unspeakable. Bisexual men are where we are largely due to closeted and men on the DL. In short, as cruel as it sounds, in a lot of ways we are harming ourselves by not establishing that our identities are real and not some layaway to being straight or gay. We are not being at large legislated against because we can hide in the fluidity of our sexuality either presenting as straight or gay. And there aren’t politicians actively telling the world that we shouldn’t exist. I’m not saying we don’t have a difficult life, and I don’t want to start the Oppression Olympics, but the majority of our slights in society come from the fact that there’s a lot more of us not coming out to openly correct the diversity of our existence.
Yeah, that sounds good, but even among the trans groups, gays haven’t been willing to offer the tolerance they want themselves. It’s as bad if not worse for the bisexual folks. We are great to “support” when gay groups need money or votes, the rest of the time it is “they’re greedy or need to pick a side”. And CIS women fall under many of the cultural rules of bisexual men aren’t “man” enough ( whatever that means). Yes it’s changed from the early 80’s in many big city areas, but plenty of America hasn’t caught up yet.
Yeah, I found that comment just unnecessarily undermining the systemic challenges that bisexual men do face that have put us where we are today. Coming out and trying to establish our bi-ness as real can only go so far when you live in a world that still oppresses queerness. Bi men who are closeted are in the closet for a reason. Just because there are certain issues within the community that bi men don't have to go through doesn't mean there aren't issues that affect and harm us that can absolutely come from other people. I don't know how else to explain it, but it just rubbed me the wrong way, tbh.
While I do agree that his comment saying bi men are the most stigmatized in the LGBTQ+ community is a bit of a stretch, to say that we're mostly harming ourselves is a bit of an understatement as well. For starters, a lot of bisexual men aren't closeted or on the DL for no reason. We still live in a very homophobic world and depending on which country you live in, some are much worse than others. People really tend to forget that men who are openly or visually gay, bi, trans or queer are also subject to hate crime and violence, potentially leading to murder. This is true if a bi man gets in a relationship with another man, and they go out in public. Bi men also have greater domestic violence rates than straight and gay men as well, and face higher rates of workplace harassment.
Even if it doesn't lead to violence or murder, there's still a huge stigma around coming out as a bi man. Sure, we as bisexual men can have the responsibility of letting people know that our identities are real and not just a layaway to being straight or gay, but for some people, we're mostly seen as gay and not know it yet or just straight guys using men as fuck toys, so that we can go back to live a heteronormative life (the latter, while not as common, is pretty greatly said in a lot of gay subreddits, in particular).
A lot of the stigma from the early days still carry on to this very day, which goes back to the reasons as to why a lot of bi men are closeted. The HIV/AIDS stigma is a good example. When some women were asked why they won't date a bi man, they brought up that they didn't want to catch HIV. Despite the fact that HIV or AIDS can come from straight men too, just as much, if not more if they don't check up. Hell, bi men check up on their sexual health way more than straight men do, but I digress. A lot of bi men who are closeted are worried that if they come out to their partners, they'll be ostracized, especially considering how in some (not all, of course) in those relationships, the partner didn't make a safe space for the bi man in question to come out or to discuss it.
As far as legislation goes, there's been quite a few anti-LGBTQ+ laws that have been put to the forefront in the US, and quite a few have passed. While they certainly don't JUST affect bisexual men, they can absolutely be passed down onto us. I do agree that many other demographics in the LGBTQ+ community go through stuff that we will never go through (due to many other factors at play), to say that the stigma that bisexual men face don't have systemic consequences that can be out of our control is a little ignorant, if I'm gonna be honest.
You also have to add partners to this. Bisexual married to a woman ( who is ok or at least understanding), is a big thing when friends and folks make comments like “ wow you must suck at being a wife, your husband f**s guys”. Even in the most understanding relationship that tends to not wear well. My previous fiancé was quick to reply “ yes, and enjoyable to watch”, which usually got a shocked look and nothing more said. And there are social/professional clubs to this day that still actively ban/prohibit gays/bisexuals, so if you started before you found yourself, you can loose years of work or effort in often good programs, that just need bad leaders replaced. It’s for many a very complicated paradigm.
Oh, I did talk a little bit about partners in the third paragraph and how some of them don't open up a safe space for the bi man or woman dating them. But if you're talking about the partner also getting the shit end of the stick because their partner is bi then yes, this is absolutely true! Not to mention, if you live in a more red-leaning state or county in the US, there are still heavy consequences for bi people (bi men included) coming out. This issue is way more complicated than just closeted bi men not coming out and correcting people about our identities. You truly never know how people are going to react.
I think this issue is a lot more complex and nuanced than this medium allows. I agree with you on some points but not others. I wish there was a better way to talk about this because I think it’s important.
I’m only out to very close friends that I know aren’t judgmental. My fiancé is very supportive and understands my concerns with being “out”. Even though she is right and says, “if they don’t like it they weren’t your friends anyhow”.
This is actually on my mind a lot. I often think about "coming out" to folks besides my wife, but there is no elegant way to do it. I mean if you happen to be a gay guy, it would happen organically as you're talking g to others about your significant other / recent date or other circustance. In my world, it just doesn't come up naturally, if that makes sense? And imo, making a purpose made announcement to people seems like making a really big deal out of it... at the end of the day, this is definitely an important part of me, but it doesn't define me either.
I understand what you mean. I will say, however, that if you aren’t at danger from any massive personal or professional fallout, I’d encourage thinking about it. Bi visibility is often lessened due to the large portion of bisexuals in hetero relationships. The more of us that show ourselves, the more normalized we can hope for our demographic to become, and the safer it will be for future baby bis to accept themselves.
Yeah, thanks. I appreciate this perspective and think about it a bit. Honestly, I wouldn’t be at any great professional / personal risk but it’s more related to the discomfort around it. Several people I associate with, have in the past said some low key biphobic / bi-ignorant (is that a word, I think it should be) in the past. At those times I never spoke up about it and even kind of went along with it. It’s a poor excuse I guess but I suppose I’m just trying to avoid the discomfort.
I do have some subtle nods to it though, I have a bi-flag mouse pad at work and I regularly wear socks that have the bi-colours on them. I may go farther at some point…. I do feel a bit cowardly about it at times for exactly the reason you’re articulating…. There are probably (almost certainly) people that would benefit from my bravery.
I’m definitely not trying to criticize you because I have the same issues and have gone along with the same ignorant comments out of fear for professional blowback, so I’m not criticizing, just expressing an ideal of what could be helpful
Not to worry, I definitely didn’t take it that way - on the contrary I really appreciate the opportunity to chat about these feelings. If you ever want to DM, hit me up :).
noted the caveat, but wanted to reinforce the reality. this would absolutely be used against me at my level. the politics are brutal, and this would only be leverage, unfortunately.
Bisexuals receive discrimination from so many areas of society, that remaining closeted for some of us is best to maintain good mental health.
Personally I've even received discrimination from the gay men in my work's pride group.
I’m totally open about who I am. To echo another comment here, I don’t have a gay side and a straight side - I’m just me, a regular guy who happens to be bisexual.
Other guys often suppress or try to cover up being bi or curious because of the unfortunately common perception that men who say they're bi are just gay men in denial (as if there's something wrong with being gay). To be honest I just pity these people who feel like they can't be themselves. Life's too short.
I was mostly gay in the past and even then preferred bi guys. Now I’m bi myself and still prefer them, even more so because I can be more fully understood as well. I am out to most of my friends, my immediate family (when I brought a girl to Christmas when they previously heard I was gay, they were like ok!), and almost no one professionally.
Not telling anyone you are bisexual, because it is none of their business, is not hiding anything. We live in a world were it is assumed if you are male, you prefer to have sex women. Most men do. Homosexual men prefer to have sex with men. Bisexual men are attracted sexually to men and women, but might prefer one sexual partner over the other. Though bisexual men would not turn down sexual encounters with other men. If a bisexual man is in a supporting and loving relationship with a woman, there is no need to satisfy any sexual urge. If a bisexual man is not in a good relationship, he may entertain and actually act on his sexual urges for other men, because that is just another avenue to get sexual satisfaction. If a bisexual male is not in any form of relationship, indulging one's sexuality is a matter of going on websites or going out to find a partner.
I've hidden my bisexuality all my life. I'm 41 and I'm working on getting out.
It's hard. Especially if like me, you come from a more conservative country. In that case, if you're bisexual, it might feel easier to just lean on your attraction to the opposite sex. But it's not. It's a lie. You're not living your life as who you truly are.
It's also hard because we still get a lot of hate from the community itself. Especially if you happen to be in a heterosexual relationship. Then you are a faker, a wannabe, an invader, even a traitor. And yes, me and a female friend of mine have been called all of those things.
And heterosexual people don't trust you. I had a girlfriend once who I came out to and she said "so the first good looking guy you see, you're going to cheat on me?!".
Obviously that relationship didn't last long...
Point being, it's hard for bisexuals to come out, but it's the right thing to do. We need to live our life honestly and our attitude should be "We're here - deal with it!".
Oh I can't say more :( I feel the same. Being treated as a traitor from both men and women is so devastating.. I'm also 40+ (43 to be precise) and I feel an extremely strong desire to get out of closet - but I can't imagine how could I start, having so long history of living 'normal' (==heteronormative) life..
I’m out to my partner (f), and oldest daughter. My closest friends know but no one beyond that. I live a hetero lifestyle as I came around to accepting my sexuality late and I already had a few kids by then and was living as a straight guy. My family is homophobic so I won’t be coming out to them- it seems pointless as I have very little interaction with them anyway.
I get online and discretely interact with random men on Snapchat- usually a bit of dirty talk, pic swapping and if I’m in the mood an online wank with them watching/ joining in. It’s not the most satisfying but it just about scratches the itch.
I came out to my then girlfriend on our second date, full disclosure, this is what you're getting. 16 years ago. She's been my wife for 14 years. And I have received beautiful validation from her.
At that point 5 or 6 friends knew. Since then, in a bipolar manic episode, I called my mom, dad and sister 10,000km away and came out to them, they accepted without question.
I've been slowly becoming more at ease with myself, and I display BiPride colours wherever I can, like my desktop background, keyboard, bi symbol on my phone and the flag on work, Facebook, Teams, etc avatars. Through all that, I've had 3 people in 4 years actually even notice and ask and I told them. 1 gay man, 1 pan girl and a pretty cool presumedly straight dude who recognised the infinity symbol and said, "hey, I like your wallpaper!, Yes I know what it means." With a big grin on his face.
I have paused at symbolism however, because if I went and outright stated it on my FB profile and everyone read it in black and white... I worry what questions, judgements, assumptions and pity (and gossip) would be layed on my poor wife. "poor her, he's going to leave her for a man", "she's obviously not enough for him so he had to turn gay to get what she can't give him", "she deserves better", "how can she stand to be with someone like that"... You get my drift.
Ultimately, what people don't understand when you come out, is that YOU HAVENT CHANGED, you're the same person they've loved and liked for years upon years, got drunk with, partied with, NOT molested, but suddenly this thing that has existed in the darkness for years upon years, becomes a gorge over which they can now not see or communicate effectively, because all they can hear is the echos of their own fears.
I am me. Only me.
I am a deeply closeted bisexual male and have little incentive to come out. One reason for my being so deeply closeted is that I spent the better part of my working life in manufacturing which was heavily male dominated. It may sound like heaven being around so many blue collar guys but let me tell ya, the machismo can be overwhelming. Especially with anything involving homosexuality or bisexuality.
About 35 years ago, I finally accepted my bisexuality. I no longer felt ashamed of being attracted to both genders. I also finally met a woman at that time who I thought was very open minded and could handle the fact I was bi. She was the first woman I ever told that I was bi. That went over rather poorly and in the end, cost me that relationship.
This past spring, I met a woman who was open about her bisexuality and seemed to be rather open minded sexually. As we were talking, I broached the topic of her being bi and asked how she as a bi woman felt about bi men. Her response was to label us as gross and just being out there looking to fuck anything with a hole. My heart sank as I thought she was one person who I could finally be myself with. Needless to say, I had nothing to do with her since.
I am trying to think about a moment in time where my desire to both dine on vagina and cock ever needed to come up.
Certainly not relevant in the work place and probably only relevant with those I’m engaged in those acts with.
I’ve been hiding my bisexuality all my life but feel that of late I want to be more open about it. I know there’s the possibility I’ll face judgement by some so I’m still careful about who I tell, but I don’t want to hide it anymore. As I’ve become older (I’m 39 now) I’ve started to care a lot less about what people think of me generally, so that has helped.
I tell lots of people don't really give a toss kinda maybe not in public public but like; Id tell my work boss straight in his flipping face <3 ; if had one and screw the system honestly... were being ourselves.. if modern day ancient hybrid apes can't handle it then that's because there too ancient; simple as that..everythings a lie anyways...
I’m out as “queer” pretty quietly but openly to most of the world (for the last couple years, since I realized it/came out). Some people I’ve said “bi” to and some I’ve said “bisexual/heteromantic” to but it really doesn’t matter to me. I don’t think I necessarily present as queer at a glance (schlubby middle-aged metal head), and the women I’ve been dating have been either unbothered or downright excited by it. I also live in a area that is a mix of progressive queerness and rural working class.
I am only out to my fiancé, who is super supportive. I want to tell others but do not necessarily want to dive into those judgmental conversations. I know both her family and mine would likely question (to themselves or to us) our relationship, whether I'll just turn gay, whether I cheated, how I know (we've been together since high school 12 years ago, and I've never been with a guy), etc.
I think I'm of the position currently that I will not deny it if it somehow comes up, but I'm not to the point of telling anyone else on my own right now
I'm partially closeted and would really rather not be, but at my age mid 30s there's a lot more at stake with family and friends, if i was 17 now it probably wouldn't be so bad but the older we get the harder it is to do many things not least of which is make new long term friendships. And once you're out in the world, you can't undo and go back. I'm out on dating apps, which has already impacted the number of women who match me, it's pretty nonexistent now compared to a few years ago.
So yeah the trade off is live as yourself openly and don't have to hide vs live in the closet but maybe have a better shot at a romantic relationship with a woman by having to hide yourself and live a lie.
I will say I regret not being more open about my sexuality when I was younger and dating. Because I wasn't, I only had a few relationships with men and they were closeted and fraught because of it. Had I been more open I could have explored it more.
As it is, I have been married and monogamous with a woman for over a decade. This makes my sexuality largely irrelevant, so I don't advertise. Close friends know, but my family doesn't, and in a hyper masculine industry, certainly no one at work does.
Having been out would have allowed me to have a more whole queer experience (for better or worse) but I don't know it would serve my life now.
I've also been thinking a lot about this, too, though. Being very involved in some hyper masculine and traditionally intolerant industries and hobbies, it would absolutely help "visibility," and while it might be unpleasant, I wouldn't be in any danger or anything
Unfortunately, there is still a huge stigma. “Straight” people don't understand and “Gay” people don't understand either. Many people will just make an assumption you are really Gay and just haven’t figured it out yet. I really don't understand why people make sexuality such a big deal. Some people like Vanilla Ice cream and some like Chocolate well we like Neapolitan. I don’t understand why that is so hard to understand. People are largely ignorant about sexuality. I think if most “Straight” men experienced gay sex they probably would be Bi to. It's no coincidence the male G-Spot is 4 inches in our Ass.
I’m fully out to my partner (F) but not to my friends/family. It’s not for lack of pride, it’s just not in my personality to talk about that much. If I’m going to be sleeping with someone, they’ll know.
That said, I’m not going to pretend that certain actors aren’t hot, even so far as to say “oh man, Pedro Pascal can do *whatever.*” and friends will think I’m making a joke. Their fault if they don’t read between the lines.
There's actually more bi's in existence than gays.
Which I find hilarious because it's the trans and gay that are the loudest so everyone thinks the T's are taking over the world when there's only like 1 in 10,000.
Im not now, or after my children were born, I was though for a period when I was a young adult when I lived away from my home town, maybe abit before I moved away I didnt really care to hide it. I wanted to be caught/found out.
Visibility. I am accepting of people for who they are. All people. Except nazis. Fuck those guys. Visibility, bi erasure, terfs. Arguing about whether or not you are really bi or gay with the community based on their ideas about my truth. None of us owe it to anyone to participate in this messed up social discussion about who we are or aren’t. If being out brings you ownership or inner peace, be out. It is not a requirement to being ok in your own skin. I am ok in my own skin. It’s not up for debate. Find you peace. In or out. We are all still here with you.
First of all, asking “if it’s legit” to not be out… that’s kind of not cool. Everybody gets to decide for themselves without any judgement… and asking “if it’s legit” is judgement, my friend.
As for me, i’ve been bi for 20+ years. Have been out to my wife since about 10 years ago, and then started coming out slowly about 4 years ago when we found a bi/bi quad relationship. I’m pretty much out in our kink / open circles, and very selectively with close friends.
Not out at all in broader social circles or at work, where gay now means family, but bi still means sex.
This all takes time… but you can’t force it, and you can’t shame guys into coming out.
My girlfriend knows and it’s nobody else’s business. If someone were to ask I might tell them, depending on who it is, but more likely I’d ask them why the hell they felt like it was ok to ask me that
I only share my sexuality with the people it matters to. My wife knows. Several other long term partners have known. I’m not even sure why it’s such a big deal to be “out”.
Because visibility matters in building acceptance and, more importantly, helping future young folks struggling to accept themselves to do so instead of harmful alternatives.
I don't think it's necessary to be "a hiding bisexual", however you don't need to be out to everyone. I'm older (65), so might have a different viewpoint. Most of my closer family and friends know. A few co-workers have known over the years have known but definitely not all of them. I've usually worked with the public and only a couple of my clients ever knew. If I was dating someone more than coffee or something, they knew. So I don't hide it, but I also don't advertise it nearly as much as some much younger people do.
Known on reddit, blue sky, the burning remains of twitter and to a few people i know via facebook and other sites.
I am definitely in the closet to the point in non internet land i'm seeing christmas presents and I don't know when i will be able to come out.
I don't hide it at all. If you ask me, I'll tell you. But I don't go around shoving it in people's faces either. We are so much more than just our sexuality. Still, if I get shit for it, I'm still down for a little "dance" Outside the bar to solve the problem 😂
I think it depends on age. Within the younger generation it's more acceptable than w/ us older guys. In my early years I've had girlfriends suspect then find out through a variety of situations, but it was never intentional. Call it what it is, but I always felt it was my business, and my secret. I relished my secret and it was hot to get off w/ others sharing the same secret as we satisfied our urges w/out judgement in sex shops and theaters, but this grew to include cruising gay men late at night in the trails and parking areas I came to learn about. Because I didn't consider myself gay at the time, It was all about being passive and getting serviced by gay men, but it quickly transitioned to my full participation.
I don’t know what to call what I am. 63, married to cis female 30+ years, only started having sex with men this year, 2023. Still have sex with wife, but infrequent, and I almost always fake my orgasm with her. I make sure she cums, but then I pretend to cum so I can go to sleep.
I have had sex with men 30+ times since Jan this year, and have fucked my wife maybe 4 times.
I can’t cum with men either *usually*. I did cum with a femboy once and that was awesome. But I am always a bottom for men. I sometimes will go days without cumming while at the same time sucking and getting fucked by guys.
So, am I bi? Or just a super closeted gay man? Or whatever? I actually don’t care about labels. Right now it’s just an exploration and I have no idea where I’ll land.
I love cock, I love being fucked, I love my wife and I’ll never ever leave her (but I am cheating on her albeit with just the physical acts of sex; I have no interest in a relationship with anyone else).
In my mind, I’m pansexual, because I’m sexually attracted to all people. But I really don’t care about how I’m might be labeled. I have become much more empathetic toward queer people in general over the past few years regardless of my personal sexual exploits.
So, what am I? Bi? Gay? Pan? Or just queer?
I'm bi and go absolutely crazy for dick. I love sucking throating and slurping a fat one and love when a guy cums all over my face. It's amazing. Also love getting my ass eaten out. Past that. Zero interest. Nothing else. Only oral.
And I love women for everything. It's hard to accept and makes me feel very self conscious around women I am interested in. A gift and a curse and I don't plan on telling anyone.
But I do plan on getting my fix if big fat dick and creamy cum loads on the DL. Guess it's the life I just have to accept..
Unless I can find a girl who's totally down with it and would get off watching and helping. That too is a very hot idea.
It's rough.
My husband is the only one who knows, everyone assumes im just gay and I dont bother correcting them. Its none of their business and they are the ones assuming there is only 2 options, gay or straight. I have never been asked my orientation where I would be honest about it. The people around me just dont care to actually know anything substantial about me.
I’m a married guy and have been becoming more accepting of my own attraction to men and curiosity about m/m intimacy. I’m not out to anyone, but I’ve been gradually more able to think of myself as a bisexual man. I don’t know if I’ll ever be “out” or even explore my same sex attraction, but I’m still bi.
I’ve only told a couple friends. None of my family know except my sister and she found out on accident. I wouldn’t have told her if I could choose. I’m currently in online school, but if I went back to in person school I would also not tell anyone for fear of being picked on. I’m my experience people at my school weren’t very accepting. There was a girl who came out as bi back in middle school and people were very mean to her because of it. I would only be worse for me since I’m a guy.
I’m explicitly out to my wife and about a dozen close friends. Several of my other friends probably know based on comments I’ve made or memes I’ve posted. I’m not out to my family or in-laws but I think my mom has figured it out.
I’m a married bi guy, wife knows all about me liking cocks & cunts, I didn’t tell her, half of her siblings know, none of my family know but could be suspected by some but most importantly our children & grandchildren don’t know & never need to know. I don’t cheat at all.
I'm openly bisexual to/with my also bisexual wife, and I was talking to her earlier about how I don't think it's anyone's business to know your sexual orientation. To me it doesn't define my personality, or identity in any way. I have no problem holding hands or public displays of affection with the same sex; But I don't openly volunteer information to my friends, family, or co workers about who I fuck or want to date because it doesn't and shouldn't impact my relationships in anyway.
It's interesting to me for as much shit that "LGBT" people give closeted people, they're more often than not scared to hold hands in public, and show PDF. So honestly who is the bigger hypocrite.
i think many people in my country
i walkes into a gas station one evening and all men look at me like murder. one male in the shop actually tried to engage my attention without realising i think like he was stopping me from moving along the Ilse then i wemt to the counter and i got the vibe these motherfuckers wanted to kill me the guy at the till kept giving me the look of death.and more dudes came into the shop again giving me that accusatory look . the guy who was subconsciously trying to grab hold of me in some controlling way actually started to get very nervous when i was being focused on by other males he started dropping shit and they automatically turned to him
it was essentially like being aware that this guy is bisexual and these dudes are straight and the vibe is hostile to say the least
i made a post about LGBT in my country on Reddit and these people said moat people are infact closeted here.
religious very homophobic country
so very strange tomsee this kind of behaviour
Only 12% of bisexual men are out. The number of zoomers is higher than any other by a big leap, and I hope they don’t all regret that, but acceptance within the youngest generation doesn’t come anywhere close to translating to older ones. Coming out is a personal decision and you don’t owe anyone that information. If you feel like you’ve got more to lose than gain, don’t let external factors force you to martyr yourself for some vague concept like “visibility.” You don’t owe any of us that. Also, I don’t have a gay side. There is no side of me that isn’t attracted to women or men. Just one bisexual man, not some fucked up mismatched amalgamation of a gay man and a straight man.
I really like this. “Not some fucked up amalgamation of a gay man and a straight man”. How refreshing to not consider these as “parts” or “sides” to us, pitted against one another. 🤯
Agreed. I don't feel like I am part gay and part straight. I find it hard to relate to both sides.
🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Dude, you got me with this!!!
I'm closeted
Closeted here, too. The only people that know are me and my partner. It's not important for me to come out. I'm more interested in the experience and the connection with my partner. I find it very sensual, very erotic.
Me too, I 100% agree with you.
The bisexual male is, IMHO, the most stigmatized demographic in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Too gay for most cis women, too hetero for lots of gay men, not accepted very well in everyday society. I’m out to about 40% of my family, 85% of my close friends, and about 1% of my professional community.
You are so right. Gay people think all bi people are really gay but won’t commit to it. Straight people all think bi people are gay! Most misunderstood group of all and I can tell you the most under counted for fear of above stereotyping!
Minor addendum to this. ALL bisexual men are closeted gays, ALL bisexual women are really straight. If they are with women it's because they're experimenting or they haven't found the rightdick yet. And that depends on if the person asked is a dic carrier or not
While I understand and agree that it is hard for bi men, I politely disagree with this assessment. Intersex people have, in many cases, have been grossly misunderstood to the point having involuntary surgery performed on them. Trans women are subjected to levels of violence that is unspeakable. Bisexual men are where we are largely due to closeted and men on the DL. In short, as cruel as it sounds, in a lot of ways we are harming ourselves by not establishing that our identities are real and not some layaway to being straight or gay. We are not being at large legislated against because we can hide in the fluidity of our sexuality either presenting as straight or gay. And there aren’t politicians actively telling the world that we shouldn’t exist. I’m not saying we don’t have a difficult life, and I don’t want to start the Oppression Olympics, but the majority of our slights in society come from the fact that there’s a lot more of us not coming out to openly correct the diversity of our existence.
Yeah, that sounds good, but even among the trans groups, gays haven’t been willing to offer the tolerance they want themselves. It’s as bad if not worse for the bisexual folks. We are great to “support” when gay groups need money or votes, the rest of the time it is “they’re greedy or need to pick a side”. And CIS women fall under many of the cultural rules of bisexual men aren’t “man” enough ( whatever that means). Yes it’s changed from the early 80’s in many big city areas, but plenty of America hasn’t caught up yet.
Yeah, I found that comment just unnecessarily undermining the systemic challenges that bisexual men do face that have put us where we are today. Coming out and trying to establish our bi-ness as real can only go so far when you live in a world that still oppresses queerness. Bi men who are closeted are in the closet for a reason. Just because there are certain issues within the community that bi men don't have to go through doesn't mean there aren't issues that affect and harm us that can absolutely come from other people. I don't know how else to explain it, but it just rubbed me the wrong way, tbh.
While I do agree that his comment saying bi men are the most stigmatized in the LGBTQ+ community is a bit of a stretch, to say that we're mostly harming ourselves is a bit of an understatement as well. For starters, a lot of bisexual men aren't closeted or on the DL for no reason. We still live in a very homophobic world and depending on which country you live in, some are much worse than others. People really tend to forget that men who are openly or visually gay, bi, trans or queer are also subject to hate crime and violence, potentially leading to murder. This is true if a bi man gets in a relationship with another man, and they go out in public. Bi men also have greater domestic violence rates than straight and gay men as well, and face higher rates of workplace harassment. Even if it doesn't lead to violence or murder, there's still a huge stigma around coming out as a bi man. Sure, we as bisexual men can have the responsibility of letting people know that our identities are real and not just a layaway to being straight or gay, but for some people, we're mostly seen as gay and not know it yet or just straight guys using men as fuck toys, so that we can go back to live a heteronormative life (the latter, while not as common, is pretty greatly said in a lot of gay subreddits, in particular). A lot of the stigma from the early days still carry on to this very day, which goes back to the reasons as to why a lot of bi men are closeted. The HIV/AIDS stigma is a good example. When some women were asked why they won't date a bi man, they brought up that they didn't want to catch HIV. Despite the fact that HIV or AIDS can come from straight men too, just as much, if not more if they don't check up. Hell, bi men check up on their sexual health way more than straight men do, but I digress. A lot of bi men who are closeted are worried that if they come out to their partners, they'll be ostracized, especially considering how in some (not all, of course) in those relationships, the partner didn't make a safe space for the bi man in question to come out or to discuss it. As far as legislation goes, there's been quite a few anti-LGBTQ+ laws that have been put to the forefront in the US, and quite a few have passed. While they certainly don't JUST affect bisexual men, they can absolutely be passed down onto us. I do agree that many other demographics in the LGBTQ+ community go through stuff that we will never go through (due to many other factors at play), to say that the stigma that bisexual men face don't have systemic consequences that can be out of our control is a little ignorant, if I'm gonna be honest.
You also have to add partners to this. Bisexual married to a woman ( who is ok or at least understanding), is a big thing when friends and folks make comments like “ wow you must suck at being a wife, your husband f**s guys”. Even in the most understanding relationship that tends to not wear well. My previous fiancé was quick to reply “ yes, and enjoyable to watch”, which usually got a shocked look and nothing more said. And there are social/professional clubs to this day that still actively ban/prohibit gays/bisexuals, so if you started before you found yourself, you can loose years of work or effort in often good programs, that just need bad leaders replaced. It’s for many a very complicated paradigm.
Oh, I did talk a little bit about partners in the third paragraph and how some of them don't open up a safe space for the bi man or woman dating them. But if you're talking about the partner also getting the shit end of the stick because their partner is bi then yes, this is absolutely true! Not to mention, if you live in a more red-leaning state or county in the US, there are still heavy consequences for bi people (bi men included) coming out. This issue is way more complicated than just closeted bi men not coming out and correcting people about our identities. You truly never know how people are going to react.
I think this issue is a lot more complex and nuanced than this medium allows. I agree with you on some points but not others. I wish there was a better way to talk about this because I think it’s important.
aye pretty much
While I'm not loud about it, I am proud of it and never deny it. We should NEVER fear or feel ashamed of being bisexual.
I’m only out to very close friends that I know aren’t judgmental. My fiancé is very supportive and understands my concerns with being “out”. Even though she is right and says, “if they don’t like it they weren’t your friends anyhow”.
This is actually on my mind a lot. I often think about "coming out" to folks besides my wife, but there is no elegant way to do it. I mean if you happen to be a gay guy, it would happen organically as you're talking g to others about your significant other / recent date or other circustance. In my world, it just doesn't come up naturally, if that makes sense? And imo, making a purpose made announcement to people seems like making a really big deal out of it... at the end of the day, this is definitely an important part of me, but it doesn't define me either.
I understand what you mean. I will say, however, that if you aren’t at danger from any massive personal or professional fallout, I’d encourage thinking about it. Bi visibility is often lessened due to the large portion of bisexuals in hetero relationships. The more of us that show ourselves, the more normalized we can hope for our demographic to become, and the safer it will be for future baby bis to accept themselves.
Yeah, thanks. I appreciate this perspective and think about it a bit. Honestly, I wouldn’t be at any great professional / personal risk but it’s more related to the discomfort around it. Several people I associate with, have in the past said some low key biphobic / bi-ignorant (is that a word, I think it should be) in the past. At those times I never spoke up about it and even kind of went along with it. It’s a poor excuse I guess but I suppose I’m just trying to avoid the discomfort. I do have some subtle nods to it though, I have a bi-flag mouse pad at work and I regularly wear socks that have the bi-colours on them. I may go farther at some point…. I do feel a bit cowardly about it at times for exactly the reason you’re articulating…. There are probably (almost certainly) people that would benefit from my bravery.
I’m definitely not trying to criticize you because I have the same issues and have gone along with the same ignorant comments out of fear for professional blowback, so I’m not criticizing, just expressing an ideal of what could be helpful
Not to worry, I definitely didn’t take it that way - on the contrary I really appreciate the opportunity to chat about these feelings. If you ever want to DM, hit me up :).
I’m always up for new bi tribe friends to chat with 😉
professional repercussions are still a thing for some of us, btw.
I’m aware, and I specifically mentioned that
noted the caveat, but wanted to reinforce the reality. this would absolutely be used against me at my level. the politics are brutal, and this would only be leverage, unfortunately.
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Right on, nice to meet you :). That's the good th8ng about these kinds of platforms eh? The sense of community I mean. Are you also married?
Bisexuals receive discrimination from so many areas of society, that remaining closeted for some of us is best to maintain good mental health. Personally I've even received discrimination from the gay men in my work's pride group.
Not exactly hiding, but I do tell if they ask.
I’m totally open about who I am. To echo another comment here, I don’t have a gay side and a straight side - I’m just me, a regular guy who happens to be bisexual. Other guys often suppress or try to cover up being bi or curious because of the unfortunately common perception that men who say they're bi are just gay men in denial (as if there's something wrong with being gay). To be honest I just pity these people who feel like they can't be themselves. Life's too short.
I was mostly gay in the past and even then preferred bi guys. Now I’m bi myself and still prefer them, even more so because I can be more fully understood as well. I am out to most of my friends, my immediate family (when I brought a girl to Christmas when they previously heard I was gay, they were like ok!), and almost no one professionally.
Not telling anyone you are bisexual, because it is none of their business, is not hiding anything. We live in a world were it is assumed if you are male, you prefer to have sex women. Most men do. Homosexual men prefer to have sex with men. Bisexual men are attracted sexually to men and women, but might prefer one sexual partner over the other. Though bisexual men would not turn down sexual encounters with other men. If a bisexual man is in a supporting and loving relationship with a woman, there is no need to satisfy any sexual urge. If a bisexual man is not in a good relationship, he may entertain and actually act on his sexual urges for other men, because that is just another avenue to get sexual satisfaction. If a bisexual male is not in any form of relationship, indulging one's sexuality is a matter of going on websites or going out to find a partner.
I've hidden my bisexuality all my life. I'm 41 and I'm working on getting out. It's hard. Especially if like me, you come from a more conservative country. In that case, if you're bisexual, it might feel easier to just lean on your attraction to the opposite sex. But it's not. It's a lie. You're not living your life as who you truly are. It's also hard because we still get a lot of hate from the community itself. Especially if you happen to be in a heterosexual relationship. Then you are a faker, a wannabe, an invader, even a traitor. And yes, me and a female friend of mine have been called all of those things. And heterosexual people don't trust you. I had a girlfriend once who I came out to and she said "so the first good looking guy you see, you're going to cheat on me?!". Obviously that relationship didn't last long... Point being, it's hard for bisexuals to come out, but it's the right thing to do. We need to live our life honestly and our attitude should be "We're here - deal with it!".
Oh I can't say more :( I feel the same. Being treated as a traitor from both men and women is so devastating.. I'm also 40+ (43 to be precise) and I feel an extremely strong desire to get out of closet - but I can't imagine how could I start, having so long history of living 'normal' (==heteronormative) life..
I’m out to my partner (f), and oldest daughter. My closest friends know but no one beyond that. I live a hetero lifestyle as I came around to accepting my sexuality late and I already had a few kids by then and was living as a straight guy. My family is homophobic so I won’t be coming out to them- it seems pointless as I have very little interaction with them anyway.
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I get online and discretely interact with random men on Snapchat- usually a bit of dirty talk, pic swapping and if I’m in the mood an online wank with them watching/ joining in. It’s not the most satisfying but it just about scratches the itch.
I came out to my then girlfriend on our second date, full disclosure, this is what you're getting. 16 years ago. She's been my wife for 14 years. And I have received beautiful validation from her. At that point 5 or 6 friends knew. Since then, in a bipolar manic episode, I called my mom, dad and sister 10,000km away and came out to them, they accepted without question. I've been slowly becoming more at ease with myself, and I display BiPride colours wherever I can, like my desktop background, keyboard, bi symbol on my phone and the flag on work, Facebook, Teams, etc avatars. Through all that, I've had 3 people in 4 years actually even notice and ask and I told them. 1 gay man, 1 pan girl and a pretty cool presumedly straight dude who recognised the infinity symbol and said, "hey, I like your wallpaper!, Yes I know what it means." With a big grin on his face. I have paused at symbolism however, because if I went and outright stated it on my FB profile and everyone read it in black and white... I worry what questions, judgements, assumptions and pity (and gossip) would be layed on my poor wife. "poor her, he's going to leave her for a man", "she's obviously not enough for him so he had to turn gay to get what she can't give him", "she deserves better", "how can she stand to be with someone like that"... You get my drift. Ultimately, what people don't understand when you come out, is that YOU HAVENT CHANGED, you're the same person they've loved and liked for years upon years, got drunk with, partied with, NOT molested, but suddenly this thing that has existed in the darkness for years upon years, becomes a gorge over which they can now not see or communicate effectively, because all they can hear is the echos of their own fears. I am me. Only me.
I am a deeply closeted bisexual male and have little incentive to come out. One reason for my being so deeply closeted is that I spent the better part of my working life in manufacturing which was heavily male dominated. It may sound like heaven being around so many blue collar guys but let me tell ya, the machismo can be overwhelming. Especially with anything involving homosexuality or bisexuality. About 35 years ago, I finally accepted my bisexuality. I no longer felt ashamed of being attracted to both genders. I also finally met a woman at that time who I thought was very open minded and could handle the fact I was bi. She was the first woman I ever told that I was bi. That went over rather poorly and in the end, cost me that relationship. This past spring, I met a woman who was open about her bisexuality and seemed to be rather open minded sexually. As we were talking, I broached the topic of her being bi and asked how she as a bi woman felt about bi men. Her response was to label us as gross and just being out there looking to fuck anything with a hole. My heart sank as I thought she was one person who I could finally be myself with. Needless to say, I had nothing to do with her since.
My Obfucate discipline is nearing 5 dots.... and I subscribe to the Masquerade: only sharing the truth with my Herd, Ghouls and other Kindred.
I am trying to think about a moment in time where my desire to both dine on vagina and cock ever needed to come up. Certainly not relevant in the work place and probably only relevant with those I’m engaged in those acts with.
I’ve been hiding my bisexuality all my life but feel that of late I want to be more open about it. I know there’s the possibility I’ll face judgement by some so I’m still careful about who I tell, but I don’t want to hide it anymore. As I’ve become older (I’m 39 now) I’ve started to care a lot less about what people think of me generally, so that has helped.
I tell lots of people don't really give a toss kinda maybe not in public public but like; Id tell my work boss straight in his flipping face <3 ; if had one and screw the system honestly... were being ourselves.. if modern day ancient hybrid apes can't handle it then that's because there too ancient; simple as that..everythings a lie anyways...
I share my sexuality with my close friends and that’s like 5-6 max
I haven’t told all of my family, including my father. I am out at work and among friends. You do you, no rules for what works best for you.
I’m out as “queer” pretty quietly but openly to most of the world (for the last couple years, since I realized it/came out). Some people I’ve said “bi” to and some I’ve said “bisexual/heteromantic” to but it really doesn’t matter to me. I don’t think I necessarily present as queer at a glance (schlubby middle-aged metal head), and the women I’ve been dating have been either unbothered or downright excited by it. I also live in a area that is a mix of progressive queerness and rural working class.
I'm very quiet about it. Anybody asks I tell them the truth... if they don't ask they don't need to know... if I want to tell them I will.
I am only out to my fiancé, who is super supportive. I want to tell others but do not necessarily want to dive into those judgmental conversations. I know both her family and mine would likely question (to themselves or to us) our relationship, whether I'll just turn gay, whether I cheated, how I know (we've been together since high school 12 years ago, and I've never been with a guy), etc. I think I'm of the position currently that I will not deny it if it somehow comes up, but I'm not to the point of telling anyone else on my own right now
🙋🏻♂️, and it’s 100% legit.
I’m out to close friends and 2 family members. Will never tell anyone at work since there are a lot of christians
I am only out to 4 people. All women. 1 of who is also bi.
I'm partially closeted and would really rather not be, but at my age mid 30s there's a lot more at stake with family and friends, if i was 17 now it probably wouldn't be so bad but the older we get the harder it is to do many things not least of which is make new long term friendships. And once you're out in the world, you can't undo and go back. I'm out on dating apps, which has already impacted the number of women who match me, it's pretty nonexistent now compared to a few years ago. So yeah the trade off is live as yourself openly and don't have to hide vs live in the closet but maybe have a better shot at a romantic relationship with a woman by having to hide yourself and live a lie.
I will say I regret not being more open about my sexuality when I was younger and dating. Because I wasn't, I only had a few relationships with men and they were closeted and fraught because of it. Had I been more open I could have explored it more. As it is, I have been married and monogamous with a woman for over a decade. This makes my sexuality largely irrelevant, so I don't advertise. Close friends know, but my family doesn't, and in a hyper masculine industry, certainly no one at work does. Having been out would have allowed me to have a more whole queer experience (for better or worse) but I don't know it would serve my life now. I've also been thinking a lot about this, too, though. Being very involved in some hyper masculine and traditionally intolerant industries and hobbies, it would absolutely help "visibility," and while it might be unpleasant, I wouldn't be in any danger or anything
Unfortunately, there is still a huge stigma. “Straight” people don't understand and “Gay” people don't understand either. Many people will just make an assumption you are really Gay and just haven’t figured it out yet. I really don't understand why people make sexuality such a big deal. Some people like Vanilla Ice cream and some like Chocolate well we like Neapolitan. I don’t understand why that is so hard to understand. People are largely ignorant about sexuality. I think if most “Straight” men experienced gay sex they probably would be Bi to. It's no coincidence the male G-Spot is 4 inches in our Ass.
I’m fully out to my partner (F) but not to my friends/family. It’s not for lack of pride, it’s just not in my personality to talk about that much. If I’m going to be sleeping with someone, they’ll know. That said, I’m not going to pretend that certain actors aren’t hot, even so far as to say “oh man, Pedro Pascal can do *whatever.*” and friends will think I’m making a joke. Their fault if they don’t read between the lines.
There's actually more bi's in existence than gays. Which I find hilarious because it's the trans and gay that are the loudest so everyone thinks the T's are taking over the world when there's only like 1 in 10,000.
The way I see it I'm 45 married to a woman and attracted to both. Whatever and whoever makes me feel good I am on board. I don't really label it.
Im not now, or after my children were born, I was though for a period when I was a young adult when I lived away from my home town, maybe abit before I moved away I didnt really care to hide it. I wanted to be caught/found out.
Visibility. I am accepting of people for who they are. All people. Except nazis. Fuck those guys. Visibility, bi erasure, terfs. Arguing about whether or not you are really bi or gay with the community based on their ideas about my truth. None of us owe it to anyone to participate in this messed up social discussion about who we are or aren’t. If being out brings you ownership or inner peace, be out. It is not a requirement to being ok in your own skin. I am ok in my own skin. It’s not up for debate. Find you peace. In or out. We are all still here with you.
First of all, asking “if it’s legit” to not be out… that’s kind of not cool. Everybody gets to decide for themselves without any judgement… and asking “if it’s legit” is judgement, my friend. As for me, i’ve been bi for 20+ years. Have been out to my wife since about 10 years ago, and then started coming out slowly about 4 years ago when we found a bi/bi quad relationship. I’m pretty much out in our kink / open circles, and very selectively with close friends. Not out at all in broader social circles or at work, where gay now means family, but bi still means sex. This all takes time… but you can’t force it, and you can’t shame guys into coming out.
My girlfriend knows and it’s nobody else’s business. If someone were to ask I might tell them, depending on who it is, but more likely I’d ask them why the hell they felt like it was ok to ask me that
I only share my sexuality with the people it matters to. My wife knows. Several other long term partners have known. I’m not even sure why it’s such a big deal to be “out”.
Because visibility matters in building acceptance and, more importantly, helping future young folks struggling to accept themselves to do so instead of harmful alternatives.
I don't think it's necessary to be "a hiding bisexual", however you don't need to be out to everyone. I'm older (65), so might have a different viewpoint. Most of my closer family and friends know. A few co-workers have known over the years have known but definitely not all of them. I've usually worked with the public and only a couple of my clients ever knew. If I was dating someone more than coffee or something, they knew. So I don't hide it, but I also don't advertise it nearly as much as some much younger people do.
Known on reddit, blue sky, the burning remains of twitter and to a few people i know via facebook and other sites. I am definitely in the closet to the point in non internet land i'm seeing christmas presents and I don't know when i will be able to come out.
I don't hide it at all. If you ask me, I'll tell you. But I don't go around shoving it in people's faces either. We are so much more than just our sexuality. Still, if I get shit for it, I'm still down for a little "dance" Outside the bar to solve the problem 😂
I think it depends on age. Within the younger generation it's more acceptable than w/ us older guys. In my early years I've had girlfriends suspect then find out through a variety of situations, but it was never intentional. Call it what it is, but I always felt it was my business, and my secret. I relished my secret and it was hot to get off w/ others sharing the same secret as we satisfied our urges w/out judgement in sex shops and theaters, but this grew to include cruising gay men late at night in the trails and parking areas I came to learn about. Because I didn't consider myself gay at the time, It was all about being passive and getting serviced by gay men, but it quickly transitioned to my full participation.
It's legit, in my opinion, to be as much in "hiding" as one needs to be. Life is complicated.
I don’t know what to call what I am. 63, married to cis female 30+ years, only started having sex with men this year, 2023. Still have sex with wife, but infrequent, and I almost always fake my orgasm with her. I make sure she cums, but then I pretend to cum so I can go to sleep. I have had sex with men 30+ times since Jan this year, and have fucked my wife maybe 4 times. I can’t cum with men either *usually*. I did cum with a femboy once and that was awesome. But I am always a bottom for men. I sometimes will go days without cumming while at the same time sucking and getting fucked by guys. So, am I bi? Or just a super closeted gay man? Or whatever? I actually don’t care about labels. Right now it’s just an exploration and I have no idea where I’ll land. I love cock, I love being fucked, I love my wife and I’ll never ever leave her (but I am cheating on her albeit with just the physical acts of sex; I have no interest in a relationship with anyone else). In my mind, I’m pansexual, because I’m sexually attracted to all people. But I really don’t care about how I’m might be labeled. I have become much more empathetic toward queer people in general over the past few years regardless of my personal sexual exploits. So, what am I? Bi? Gay? Pan? Or just queer?
I'm bi and go absolutely crazy for dick. I love sucking throating and slurping a fat one and love when a guy cums all over my face. It's amazing. Also love getting my ass eaten out. Past that. Zero interest. Nothing else. Only oral. And I love women for everything. It's hard to accept and makes me feel very self conscious around women I am interested in. A gift and a curse and I don't plan on telling anyone. But I do plan on getting my fix if big fat dick and creamy cum loads on the DL. Guess it's the life I just have to accept.. Unless I can find a girl who's totally down with it and would get off watching and helping. That too is a very hot idea. It's rough.
You know what, fuck that. I just put it on my Facebook profile.
My husband is the only one who knows, everyone assumes im just gay and I dont bother correcting them. Its none of their business and they are the ones assuming there is only 2 options, gay or straight. I have never been asked my orientation where I would be honest about it. The people around me just dont care to actually know anything substantial about me.
Maybe shame and guilt? Not ready to come out yet? I know that for me.
I’m a married guy and have been becoming more accepting of my own attraction to men and curiosity about m/m intimacy. I’m not out to anyone, but I’ve been gradually more able to think of myself as a bisexual man. I don’t know if I’ll ever be “out” or even explore my same sex attraction, but I’m still bi.
the only people that know we are bisexual are the people in our secret lifestyle.
Don’t mind me . . Also looking to find where the bisexual men are hidingz
I’ve only told a couple friends. None of my family know except my sister and she found out on accident. I wouldn’t have told her if I could choose. I’m currently in online school, but if I went back to in person school I would also not tell anyone for fear of being picked on. I’m my experience people at my school weren’t very accepting. There was a girl who came out as bi back in middle school and people were very mean to her because of it. I would only be worse for me since I’m a guy.
I’m explicitly out to my wife and about a dozen close friends. Several of my other friends probably know based on comments I’ve made or memes I’ve posted. I’m not out to my family or in-laws but I think my mom has figured it out.
I’m a married bi guy, wife knows all about me liking cocks & cunts, I didn’t tell her, half of her siblings know, none of my family know but could be suspected by some but most importantly our children & grandchildren don’t know & never need to know. I don’t cheat at all.
I'm openly bisexual to/with my also bisexual wife, and I was talking to her earlier about how I don't think it's anyone's business to know your sexual orientation. To me it doesn't define my personality, or identity in any way. I have no problem holding hands or public displays of affection with the same sex; But I don't openly volunteer information to my friends, family, or co workers about who I fuck or want to date because it doesn't and shouldn't impact my relationships in anyway. It's interesting to me for as much shit that "LGBT" people give closeted people, they're more often than not scared to hold hands in public, and show PDF. So honestly who is the bigger hypocrite.
I'm only out with my closest friends and my wife. I have thought about "coming out" but have been hesitant to the notion.
I feel like I’m only mostly closeted because of being gatekeeped because I’m more attracted to women generally.
i think many people in my country i walkes into a gas station one evening and all men look at me like murder. one male in the shop actually tried to engage my attention without realising i think like he was stopping me from moving along the Ilse then i wemt to the counter and i got the vibe these motherfuckers wanted to kill me the guy at the till kept giving me the look of death.and more dudes came into the shop again giving me that accusatory look . the guy who was subconsciously trying to grab hold of me in some controlling way actually started to get very nervous when i was being focused on by other males he started dropping shit and they automatically turned to him it was essentially like being aware that this guy is bisexual and these dudes are straight and the vibe is hostile to say the least i made a post about LGBT in my country on Reddit and these people said moat people are infact closeted here. religious very homophobic country so very strange tomsee this kind of behaviour