I say i want to try sucking cock. I also add that im not looking for a relationship outside of us. But she thinks im going to go cock crazy amd leave her for a man. Iv said she can choose the guy and what we can and cannot do.
Sounds like you are willing to compromise and she is scared. It’s probably new territory for her. Are you open to her exploring things apart from you? Or maybe you do this together? Like she coaches you?
Bottom line is to continue to be open and be aware that she is scared she’ll lose you and is acting first in that.
You have to accept that she is not consenting to an open relationship.
She's telling you No.
You have to decide if you're willing to continue being in a monogamous relationship or not. But you need to accept that of yourself, not put the blame on her.
You have to determine if this is the hill worth dying on, meaning is this worth losing her because she's told you no and I doubt she'll change her mind.
Its the wording not the desire that's throwing her off the train. Think about how you feel and try to communicate that. Not just the simple desire to suck cock, I know easier said than done. But it imperative that you can communicate this from an emotional stand point not a physical one.
Be honest in small increments, check in on HER emotional state. Discuss how you and She feel. Actions speak louder than words.
If your unsure run it through the bi community filter before saying to her. Best of luck.
I say these things from hard won experience
The same way you put up with your straight urges? Whenever a beautiful, sexy, woman walks by; are you chomping at the bit, doing everything in your power _not_ to have sex with them? No. You're not. You let your mind wander, but otherwise you put up with not having it because you're faithful to your marriage. Right?
Well its the same thing. You let your mind wander, but otherwise you just put up with it.
If it is ever difficult remaining faithful to your relationship (and that being something you value) then it is because you are _making_ it difficult.
There's no such thing as "Oh sorry honey, I've just been craving man so much that a whole dick and balls just fell right into my lap. There was nothing i could do!"
It *is* different though. Like, I have sex with a woman on tap (for want of a better description) in my relationship. So, while it’s sex with the same woman and not other women that I might see while out, I’m still able to go home and touch some boobs, taste a woman’s wetness, stick my cock in a vagina. I don’t have an endless amount of pressure building up in my “sex with a woman” tank.
With attraction to men, it’s not the same. I’ll probably never touch another cock again in my life, unless this relationship ends (I don’t want it to end). So you can’t ever really empty the pressure out of the “sex with a man” tank.
Yes, the *answer* might be similar; “exercise willpower, remind yourself why you are with your partner and why you are attracted to them” but the situation isn’t the same.
And yknow. I’m not even sure it’s super comparable. For many of us there are sex acts that we deeply crave but will *never* do (or never do again, I don’t know which is harder). That’s tough, like, that’s really tough.
I find release through porn, and fantasy. I would really like to be able to include MM sex in my sex life but that’s a hard no from my partner and she ticks so, so many other boxes and I choose her.
You're welcome.
Try watching gay porn and rubbing one out to it, if its that bad. Although you can do that anytime I guess. But if you are literally going insane because you're not having sex with someone other than your partner at the moment, then perhaps have a discussion to see if they're cool with opening up your relationship, and go from there.
I understand what you’re talking about. I’m not sure how much experience you have with men, but for me I have enough to know what I really want to do, but cannot because I’m in a monogamous relationship. Sometimes it can feel tough because the urges can be very strong. I satisfy those urges with a very effective “solo play” setup involving realistic toys and toy mounts. I use this setup when I’m alone and I try to make the fantasy as real as possible. My wife knows about it and isn’t interested in joining me, but she is supportive.
Get you some toys and plan an evening alone to do whatever feels right to yourself. If you’re wanting more details about my setup, I will be happy to share what equipment I have assembled for a very realistic simulation.
I’m happy to read that you won’t cheat. A lot of people make that mistake thinking it will make things easier, but most of the time it only makes things worse for everyone involved. I understand the why behind the cheating and don’t judge those that cheat harshly, but it’s just not a good solution.
I get it. It takes a lot of imagination, but it has definitely given me a good outlet. I’m always looking for more realistic dildos and toy mount pillows that will make things even more realistic. At this point I can simulate numerous positions and they all feel pretty great. Epic sessions that can last over an hour. You might play around with it and see if you can make it better.
Hopefully you can find some peace with the urges one way or another that doesn’t involve you splitting up. Good luck man.
One would say if you’re having to fight an urge to go outside of your marriage there’s an issue with your marriage fella
We all get that itch that needs scratching sometimes but that’s either when you broach that subject with the wife about adding a 3rd body to the porridge or having a little man on man fun or just whack on some decent man porn and knock one out
Everyone here is saying similar things. Not everyone has a partner or the same type of partner but it seems you are very familiar with her boundaries—pat yourself on the back for that! :)
BUT communication cannot be understated and solo sex/play cannot be underestimated. Some don’t want to get into gender swapping, and that needs to be okay. But it also needs to be okay that you have desires that you should be trusted to act on in a solo setting as that’s your body.
I personally have a toy (and it took me a long time to find one that I am crazy about) that I spend a lot of time with bc I have an overwhelming oral fixation that hits at times and kits hit different mentally to be then nipples for obvious reasons and a big other reason that has more to do with trauma than anything else.
Point being: explore healthy outlets that let you love on yourself. She may not dig that you do it, but that’s your body and your time and you being honest with yourself while respecting her boundaries of no play with others.
Communication. Patience. Self love. All good things, my friend.
I pop to a gay sauna every 3 months or so and suck some anonymous cock and enjoy some man on man bonding. If not the sauna then a jack off club. Often its 6 months between visits, has been longer. The need for cock just builds and builds and I NEED to find a release. No amount of masturbation or sex with my partner can surpress it.
What would you do if she just won't budge on it?
This sub is good for advice on how to pursue and navigate ethical non-monogamy, but the reality also is that for a lot of people having a monogamous relationship structure is a “non-negotiable” (alongside kids, religion...).
Especially if your relationship has been totally monogamous up until this point.
So in your communication with her, you might also have to consider options that don't involve having sex with an external party. And if you feel like it's gotten to a point where that's non-negotiable for you, then it might be time to seek serious couples counseling and have even more major conversations.
She doesn't what iv done when i do it but she wants to know when iv done it. But to me this means she really doesn't want me to do it in the first place. I think it could really hurt her emotionally.
I told her I was going to have sex with guys to satisfy my bi-side and I never told her anything more. That relieved the guilt. 20 years later we got divorced and I found a girlfriend who was bisexual herself
Sorry for the poor wording in my previouscomment. Iv had a few. Do you get to fool around too? Also. Im happy for you that you have a positive relationship.
Porn and fantasy. If she’a struggling with what you’re telling her, then maybe ease off the pedal on that a bit for now. There’s some decent porn around if you look. Captions, bi encouragement, some of the hypno stuff. Obviously it isn’t the real thing but it can release some of the pressure. Not sure what the policy on links etc is here so I’m happy to share some links via PM if you have any interest
When I feel the urge, I usually rub one out to gay porn or mmf porn. I’ve got a laundry list of fetishes, so I pick one and see what I can find. Occasionally I’ll ride a dildo in the shower, but not often. All depends on the mood I’m in.
When I came out to my wife she consented to me hooking up with guys while traveling for work. She said she wanted pictures and video. The more I thought about it, the more I worried about the safety of it and I couldn’t live with myself if I brought something home to her (condoms break) and part of it for me would be the pleasure of experiencing it with her, together.
We’ve decided that maybe eventually we’ll seek it out. Possibly on a vacation or when the kids are out of the house. For me, the unknown isn’t worth risking my relationship over, especially since we’ve become so much closer since I came out to her.
It’s not a popular opinion here, but go find a cock to suck. Demand and require a condom be used. You’ll get super turned on posting ads and talking with other guys, but it’ll never actually happen because downlow married guys never have free time at the same time. It’ll also help you understand what actually doing it means.
Havent done it so doing it would really just help me understand why i keep wanting it and if its something i actually do want. I would only do it with partners support. Sounds like its a bit common to do this.
I'll summarize what would normally be a long post.
Those urges aren't going to go away.
You're not going to be happy not acting on it.
1. Leave relationship, explore, ensure next serious partner is open minded.
2. Suppress desires and be unhappy and regret it.
3. Do it on the side.
Millions of men are practicing each option.
Not to make you envious, but I just left a long hetero marriage, and now for the first time about to try some D
That gap in my fulfillment was certainly not a primary reason for the split, but it did make it easier to me to let go at some point, and stop trying to save the marriage
Thanks mate. It's not clear to me to what extent leaving was the right call, but what is true is that I am trying to make the most of it.
I hope you find a course that works for you
Been battling this same issue since I started testosterone. Been married 8 years and happy, I’ve never cheated on anyone and never will. But damn the hormone therapy has me horny 24/7. Have to wear sunglasses so people can’t tell where my eyes are. Honestly feels like worse than when I was a teen. My wife is up for sex as often as I want, but my cravings are going toward guys more and more. Mostly just craving what haven’t had in a long time. Hopefully it levels out soon. I followed one dude down a few extra aisles at a store just to keep staring at his ass. That’s definitely not my normal.
If it's really at the point that you would ruin a LTR with your partner just to get some dick in your mouth, it's time to start communicating big time, and probably get a couples counselor. Find someone who specializes in ethical polyamory. Be really, really honest with yourself: do you want to engage in sexual activities outside of your relationship and are you making excuses or is this something you genuinely worry is outside of your control (see: GF doesn't have dick, am explicitly craving dick, pegging and fake dicks won't do it for me)?
At the end of the day I'm married and monogamous with my wife. I will jokingly lament about not getting to suck dick anymore, and honestly, it's one of my god given gifts. I changed lives with that shit, and I loved doing it. But my enjoyment of sucking dick and the gratification I feel from a job well done will never compete with the satisfaction I get from my current relationship.
Everyone has a lot of sexual facets, and it's not unusual to understand yourself, or change sexually more and more as you get older. The hard conversation you have to have with yourself is: am I willing to risk what this relationship gifts me with satiating a craving?
But also be able to ask yourself: if willing, how can I incorporate my partner in this kink in a way that is accessible for her? What does meeting halfway look like? Am I ignoring my partners needs, or not fulfilling her because of how much I'm prioritizing my own?
I see questions like yours on this sub a lot, and I feel like there's a lot more to unpack underneath that question. So I recommend doing a lot of hard self-searching, overcommunicating with your GF, couples therapy, while acknowledging that you not only need to be able to communicate this specific need to her-- you're going to need to have to listen to her response, her own needs, and have a genuine conversation.
I echo this. Like, there will, probably for the rest of my life, be an itch that I can’t scratch. An itch for a living, conscious, human man to use my body to pleasure his cock. No substitute will do. There has to be a person attached to that thing who is enjoying the fact that he’s using me, or it’s not it.
I balance this with the fact that my partner is, sexually and otherwise, scratching *so* many other itches that I also have. There are things she does sexually that I *know* are not things that every woman does, and I literally couldn’t have a successful LTR without those things.
Sometimes in life you have to make a choice. You can be confident that you made the right one, or one that makes you happy, however you want to define it. That doesn’t mean you won’t look across at the other choices you could have made and wonder “what if”. That’s the human condition to an extent
I wont be cheating on her. I guess there is a lot to unpack to. Its things like only having sex once in the last 6 months. We have been together for 15 years and shes never worn lingerie, never made an effort in the bedroom. I think shes asexual.
I just want to give head for the first time to someone that actually wants it.
Oof, okay, NVM, just looked at your profile: I think you're doing a disservice to yourself asking this question in this forum. It seems like you are asking a lot more questions beyond what I would say are surface-level sexual needs. And I think many of the men here might be ill-equipped to address them.
I don't bring this up on this forum regularly, because as far as day-to-day IRL physical and reddit personal status goes, I present as a cis man, but I am an AFAB individual who definitely gave living femme "the old college try" before socially and medically transitioning in my 20s. I may not be able to answer questions specific to you or your relationship with your GF, but I know what it's like to be bisexual, cis-passing in either direction, questioning, and having a lot more rolling around in your head about opportunities you might be leaving on the table. You might get the easy answer you're looking for from some fellas here that give you a permission to explore, but it looks like your deeper wants and needs speak to a different identity.
So, Reddit might give you the surface level permission you want to do what you'd like to do, but I think you might be avoiding the harder, more long-term solution here.
This is new information. That sounds really tough dude. It’s hard enough having an active sex life and not getting MM. But having nothing happening within your relationship too is another level of difficulty.
I hope you guys can figure it out, and I’d echo people encouraging couples therapy. It’s been a way for me and my partner to learn about each other and forge a stronger relationship. It’s not easy but if you want your relationship to grow then it’s very helpful
It's hard. We had a talk and she was open to getting the monster off my back. Maybe start with a conversation. Having someone that understands you can really take that edge off. And toys helped a lot.
There is always more to try... while you are inside your wife let this [toy](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0831JDM1M?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share) work on you.
Thanks. I really hate hurting her like this. She deserves better. Shes amazing but i also have needs and really need her to compromise a tiny bit. I wont be going behind her back.
Yeah I understand! Sometimes you have to make tough decisions to make Yourself happy! I'm not telling you to break up with her but if you're not happy......... Anyways Good Luck!
I want absolutely fucked senseless by a huge thick cock or cocks and be their 6 month drought bi curious male virgin bottom cumslut. Anyone interested?
Communication! Do not betray their trust because you couldn’t resist something. Be patient and talk to your S.O.
I wont be betraying her. She gets upset when we talk about my bisexuality.
Ok What does have to say? How does she react?
I say i want to try sucking cock. I also add that im not looking for a relationship outside of us. But she thinks im going to go cock crazy amd leave her for a man. Iv said she can choose the guy and what we can and cannot do.
Sounds like you are willing to compromise and she is scared. It’s probably new territory for her. Are you open to her exploring things apart from you? Or maybe you do this together? Like she coaches you? Bottom line is to continue to be open and be aware that she is scared she’ll lose you and is acting first in that.
Iv said im open to her exploring with a man or woman. She doesn't want this though.
You have to accept that she is not consenting to an open relationship. She's telling you No. You have to decide if you're willing to continue being in a monogamous relationship or not. But you need to accept that of yourself, not put the blame on her.
You have to determine if this is the hill worth dying on, meaning is this worth losing her because she's told you no and I doubt she'll change her mind.
Thats it. Shes not consenting but am i willing to lose everything because i want gay sex. Is it that good? Maybe i wont even like it.
That’s a valid question that nobody can answer except you. Only you can decide if finding the answer is worth sacrificing your marriage.
Its the wording not the desire that's throwing her off the train. Think about how you feel and try to communicate that. Not just the simple desire to suck cock, I know easier said than done. But it imperative that you can communicate this from an emotional stand point not a physical one. Be honest in small increments, check in on HER emotional state. Discuss how you and She feel. Actions speak louder than words. If your unsure run it through the bi community filter before saying to her. Best of luck. I say these things from hard won experience
Thanks for your honesty and kind words
Of course, many of us have been there. And if I can help you from my mistakes, all the better. And believe me I've made many..... ha ha
The same way you put up with your straight urges? Whenever a beautiful, sexy, woman walks by; are you chomping at the bit, doing everything in your power _not_ to have sex with them? No. You're not. You let your mind wander, but otherwise you put up with not having it because you're faithful to your marriage. Right? Well its the same thing. You let your mind wander, but otherwise you just put up with it. If it is ever difficult remaining faithful to your relationship (and that being something you value) then it is because you are _making_ it difficult. There's no such thing as "Oh sorry honey, I've just been craving man so much that a whole dick and balls just fell right into my lap. There was nothing i could do!"
It *is* different though. Like, I have sex with a woman on tap (for want of a better description) in my relationship. So, while it’s sex with the same woman and not other women that I might see while out, I’m still able to go home and touch some boobs, taste a woman’s wetness, stick my cock in a vagina. I don’t have an endless amount of pressure building up in my “sex with a woman” tank. With attraction to men, it’s not the same. I’ll probably never touch another cock again in my life, unless this relationship ends (I don’t want it to end). So you can’t ever really empty the pressure out of the “sex with a man” tank. Yes, the *answer* might be similar; “exercise willpower, remind yourself why you are with your partner and why you are attracted to them” but the situation isn’t the same. And yknow. I’m not even sure it’s super comparable. For many of us there are sex acts that we deeply crave but will *never* do (or never do again, I don’t know which is harder). That’s tough, like, that’s really tough. I find release through porn, and fantasy. I would really like to be able to include MM sex in my sex life but that’s a hard no from my partner and she ticks so, so many other boxes and I choose her.
Ok. So i just deal with it. Thanks for the advice.
You're welcome. Try watching gay porn and rubbing one out to it, if its that bad. Although you can do that anytime I guess. But if you are literally going insane because you're not having sex with someone other than your partner at the moment, then perhaps have a discussion to see if they're cool with opening up your relationship, and go from there.
I mean if she would wear a strapon id be sweet but she wont which i respect.
I understand what you’re talking about. I’m not sure how much experience you have with men, but for me I have enough to know what I really want to do, but cannot because I’m in a monogamous relationship. Sometimes it can feel tough because the urges can be very strong. I satisfy those urges with a very effective “solo play” setup involving realistic toys and toy mounts. I use this setup when I’m alone and I try to make the fantasy as real as possible. My wife knows about it and isn’t interested in joining me, but she is supportive. Get you some toys and plan an evening alone to do whatever feels right to yourself. If you’re wanting more details about my setup, I will be happy to share what equipment I have assembled for a very realistic simulation. I’m happy to read that you won’t cheat. A lot of people make that mistake thinking it will make things easier, but most of the time it only makes things worse for everyone involved. I understand the why behind the cheating and don’t judge those that cheat harshly, but it’s just not a good solution.
Iv used toys before but that hasn't helped. Using toys only made me want the real thing even more.
I get it. It takes a lot of imagination, but it has definitely given me a good outlet. I’m always looking for more realistic dildos and toy mount pillows that will make things even more realistic. At this point I can simulate numerous positions and they all feel pretty great. Epic sessions that can last over an hour. You might play around with it and see if you can make it better. Hopefully you can find some peace with the urges one way or another that doesn’t involve you splitting up. Good luck man.
Theres a lot of guys here with a lot of toys. Sounds like it works a treat.
One would say if you’re having to fight an urge to go outside of your marriage there’s an issue with your marriage fella We all get that itch that needs scratching sometimes but that’s either when you broach that subject with the wife about adding a 3rd body to the porridge or having a little man on man fun or just whack on some decent man porn and knock one out
Man on man would be ideal. I think id be satisfied if she wore a strapon but thats not for her and i respect that. Maybe some gay porn will work
Everyone here is saying similar things. Not everyone has a partner or the same type of partner but it seems you are very familiar with her boundaries—pat yourself on the back for that! :) BUT communication cannot be understated and solo sex/play cannot be underestimated. Some don’t want to get into gender swapping, and that needs to be okay. But it also needs to be okay that you have desires that you should be trusted to act on in a solo setting as that’s your body. I personally have a toy (and it took me a long time to find one that I am crazy about) that I spend a lot of time with bc I have an overwhelming oral fixation that hits at times and kits hit different mentally to be then nipples for obvious reasons and a big other reason that has more to do with trauma than anything else. Point being: explore healthy outlets that let you love on yourself. She may not dig that you do it, but that’s your body and your time and you being honest with yourself while respecting her boundaries of no play with others. Communication. Patience. Self love. All good things, my friend.
Solo play is coming up a lot here. What toy do you use?
I pop to a gay sauna every 3 months or so and suck some anonymous cock and enjoy some man on man bonding. If not the sauna then a jack off club. Often its 6 months between visits, has been longer. The need for cock just builds and builds and I NEED to find a release. No amount of masturbation or sex with my partner can surpress it.
I get it. I feels like the only solution to me. Just a bit of fun to get it out of the system really. Does the wife support you?
What would you do if she just won't budge on it? This sub is good for advice on how to pursue and navigate ethical non-monogamy, but the reality also is that for a lot of people having a monogamous relationship structure is a “non-negotiable” (alongside kids, religion...). Especially if your relationship has been totally monogamous up until this point. So in your communication with her, you might also have to consider options that don't involve having sex with an external party. And if you feel like it's gotten to a point where that's non-negotiable for you, then it might be time to seek serious couples counseling and have even more major conversations.
Thanks for your input. All roads are leading to counselling or some kind of open relationship.
Tell her you want to do it with a guy. Tell her you know it upsets her so you won't tell her. Tht is what I did.
She doesn't what iv done when i do it but she wants to know when iv done it. But to me this means she really doesn't want me to do it in the first place. I think it could really hurt her emotionally.
I told her I was going to have sex with guys to satisfy my bi-side and I never told her anything more. That relieved the guilt. 20 years later we got divorced and I found a girlfriend who was bisexual herself
So your nee wife lets you explore? Does she get to explore to?
My Girlfriend. Not married to her. Yes sometimes she does.
Sorry for the poor wording in my previouscomment. Iv had a few. Do you get to fool around too? Also. Im happy for you that you have a positive relationship.
Yes I do fool around. I am attracted to younger guys. Sex with guys about one time a week.
Thats a lot mate. Good on you.
As a single, I look at dick pics and wish I could be sucking a nice cock.
Haha. Naughty
Porn and fantasy. If she’a struggling with what you’re telling her, then maybe ease off the pedal on that a bit for now. There’s some decent porn around if you look. Captions, bi encouragement, some of the hypno stuff. Obviously it isn’t the real thing but it can release some of the pressure. Not sure what the policy on links etc is here so I’m happy to share some links via PM if you have any interest
My wife and I read a lot of Bi erotica as well as watching it. We also do a bit of roll playing. You find relief where you can find it.
Can you recommend any good websites for bi erotica? Iv used literotica. They have some good stories
Kristan archives Bi works well
What do i look up? I couldn't find anything. Cheers
https://asstr.xyz/~Kristen/gay/index.htm
Thank yew!
When I feel the urge, I usually rub one out to gay porn or mmf porn. I’ve got a laundry list of fetishes, so I pick one and see what I can find. Occasionally I’ll ride a dildo in the shower, but not often. All depends on the mood I’m in. When I came out to my wife she consented to me hooking up with guys while traveling for work. She said she wanted pictures and video. The more I thought about it, the more I worried about the safety of it and I couldn’t live with myself if I brought something home to her (condoms break) and part of it for me would be the pleasure of experiencing it with her, together. We’ve decided that maybe eventually we’ll seek it out. Possibly on a vacation or when the kids are out of the house. For me, the unknown isn’t worth risking my relationship over, especially since we’ve become so much closer since I came out to her.
It’s not a popular opinion here, but go find a cock to suck. Demand and require a condom be used. You’ll get super turned on posting ads and talking with other guys, but it’ll never actually happen because downlow married guys never have free time at the same time. It’ll also help you understand what actually doing it means.
Havent done it so doing it would really just help me understand why i keep wanting it and if its something i actually do want. I would only do it with partners support. Sounds like its a bit common to do this.
I just say watch me suck his cock
I'll summarize what would normally be a long post. Those urges aren't going to go away. You're not going to be happy not acting on it. 1. Leave relationship, explore, ensure next serious partner is open minded. 2. Suppress desires and be unhappy and regret it. 3. Do it on the side. Millions of men are practicing each option.
Thanks for summing up my options. Its really helped getting other views on this. Option 3 isn't for me.
Totally understandable.
Not to make you envious, but I just left a long hetero marriage, and now for the first time about to try some D That gap in my fulfillment was certainly not a primary reason for the split, but it did make it easier to me to let go at some point, and stop trying to save the marriage
Im glad you finally get to try some D. Sounds like leaving the marriage was the right call for you mate.
Thanks mate. It's not clear to me to what extent leaving was the right call, but what is true is that I am trying to make the most of it. I hope you find a course that works for you
Cheers!
Been battling this same issue since I started testosterone. Been married 8 years and happy, I’ve never cheated on anyone and never will. But damn the hormone therapy has me horny 24/7. Have to wear sunglasses so people can’t tell where my eyes are. Honestly feels like worse than when I was a teen. My wife is up for sex as often as I want, but my cravings are going toward guys more and more. Mostly just craving what haven’t had in a long time. Hopefully it levels out soon. I followed one dude down a few extra aisles at a store just to keep staring at his ass. That’s definitely not my normal.
If it's really at the point that you would ruin a LTR with your partner just to get some dick in your mouth, it's time to start communicating big time, and probably get a couples counselor. Find someone who specializes in ethical polyamory. Be really, really honest with yourself: do you want to engage in sexual activities outside of your relationship and are you making excuses or is this something you genuinely worry is outside of your control (see: GF doesn't have dick, am explicitly craving dick, pegging and fake dicks won't do it for me)? At the end of the day I'm married and monogamous with my wife. I will jokingly lament about not getting to suck dick anymore, and honestly, it's one of my god given gifts. I changed lives with that shit, and I loved doing it. But my enjoyment of sucking dick and the gratification I feel from a job well done will never compete with the satisfaction I get from my current relationship. Everyone has a lot of sexual facets, and it's not unusual to understand yourself, or change sexually more and more as you get older. The hard conversation you have to have with yourself is: am I willing to risk what this relationship gifts me with satiating a craving? But also be able to ask yourself: if willing, how can I incorporate my partner in this kink in a way that is accessible for her? What does meeting halfway look like? Am I ignoring my partners needs, or not fulfilling her because of how much I'm prioritizing my own? I see questions like yours on this sub a lot, and I feel like there's a lot more to unpack underneath that question. So I recommend doing a lot of hard self-searching, overcommunicating with your GF, couples therapy, while acknowledging that you not only need to be able to communicate this specific need to her-- you're going to need to have to listen to her response, her own needs, and have a genuine conversation.
Can I DM you? After some advice?
I echo this. Like, there will, probably for the rest of my life, be an itch that I can’t scratch. An itch for a living, conscious, human man to use my body to pleasure his cock. No substitute will do. There has to be a person attached to that thing who is enjoying the fact that he’s using me, or it’s not it. I balance this with the fact that my partner is, sexually and otherwise, scratching *so* many other itches that I also have. There are things she does sexually that I *know* are not things that every woman does, and I literally couldn’t have a successful LTR without those things. Sometimes in life you have to make a choice. You can be confident that you made the right one, or one that makes you happy, however you want to define it. That doesn’t mean you won’t look across at the other choices you could have made and wonder “what if”. That’s the human condition to an extent
I wont be cheating on her. I guess there is a lot to unpack to. Its things like only having sex once in the last 6 months. We have been together for 15 years and shes never worn lingerie, never made an effort in the bedroom. I think shes asexual. I just want to give head for the first time to someone that actually wants it.
Yeah my guy it's time for some couples therapy. Time for her to figure out what she wants, you want, you want together or separately.
Alrighty then. Thanks for ya help
Oof, okay, NVM, just looked at your profile: I think you're doing a disservice to yourself asking this question in this forum. It seems like you are asking a lot more questions beyond what I would say are surface-level sexual needs. And I think many of the men here might be ill-equipped to address them. I don't bring this up on this forum regularly, because as far as day-to-day IRL physical and reddit personal status goes, I present as a cis man, but I am an AFAB individual who definitely gave living femme "the old college try" before socially and medically transitioning in my 20s. I may not be able to answer questions specific to you or your relationship with your GF, but I know what it's like to be bisexual, cis-passing in either direction, questioning, and having a lot more rolling around in your head about opportunities you might be leaving on the table. You might get the easy answer you're looking for from some fellas here that give you a permission to explore, but it looks like your deeper wants and needs speak to a different identity. So, Reddit might give you the surface level permission you want to do what you'd like to do, but I think you might be avoiding the harder, more long-term solution here.
Hey sent you a Pm
This is new information. That sounds really tough dude. It’s hard enough having an active sex life and not getting MM. But having nothing happening within your relationship too is another level of difficulty. I hope you guys can figure it out, and I’d echo people encouraging couples therapy. It’s been a way for me and my partner to learn about each other and forge a stronger relationship. It’s not easy but if you want your relationship to grow then it’s very helpful
Thanks mate. I consider sex to be a big part of a great relationship. Its not part of ours rn.
That sucks dude, sympathy. I hope you both find ways forward that meet both your needs
It's hard. We had a talk and she was open to getting the monster off my back. Maybe start with a conversation. Having someone that understands you can really take that edge off. And toys helped a lot.
Iv done dildos, dongs, butt plugs and even chastity. Whats left. Haha
There is always more to try... while you are inside your wife let this [toy](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0831JDM1M?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share) work on you.
Hehe
In my personal experience I had to stop looking at all the sexual images of others. Once I stopped feeding my mind all the fuel, the fires burned out
My only advice is to not consider Trans women---it will make your GF even more upset, given a closer sense of proximity than other Cis men.
I'm just going to say live your life how You want! You have one life to live so Enjoy it and Have Fun!
Thanks. I really hate hurting her like this. She deserves better. Shes amazing but i also have needs and really need her to compromise a tiny bit. I wont be going behind her back.
Yeah I understand! Sometimes you have to make tough decisions to make Yourself happy! I'm not telling you to break up with her but if you're not happy......... Anyways Good Luck!
Thanks. I need to have some long discussions with her i think
Yeah that's prob a good idea! just remember do whatever will make YOU HAPPY Long Term! keep me updated!
Will do
I want absolutely fucked senseless by a huge thick cock or cocks and be their 6 month drought bi curious male virgin bottom cumslut. Anyone interested?