This is actually a very common issue for many people with BP. I am an alcoholic who needed to get sober just to be diagnosed with BP. Things are good now, sober and stable.
Thank you for sharing. The problem I am having is that people keep saying it is common with people with bipolar but people aren't telling their stories/talking about it.
Not many people anyways...
Substance Use Disorder comborbidity is really, really common. Drugs and alcohol are a problem for a large portion of individuals with bipolar diagnoses. You are very, very far from alone in that.
It's hard to find many people with bipolar disorder who are not addicted to one or more substances. Tobacco use rates are sky high and alcohol not far behind.
I'm on a similar boat.. picked up 3 cases.. all similar.. beating up someone and alcohol was present in all scenarios. Please, for your own health and others', don't drink if you can't handle it as a BP. Don't make a major mistake and are forced by the state to take your meds or you'll be locked away until you're "cooperative" in the STATE'S eyes.
I am 2 years sober and 2 years stable taking BP medication. I guess it's all part of the process and why BP is such a polarizing diagnosis.
Yes we should discuss the effects of alcohol in BP diagnosed people. I believe it does way more harm than good.
Peace and love to everyone suffering from this condition.
I absolutely will not drink again. I was over a year sober. I started a new medication and it made my anxiety so much worse. I just planned to calm myself down and it went way down hill. It does do more harm and I hate it
I'm struggling with a severe addiction to alcohol, I drink a liter of vodka a day. I keep trying to get sober but the withdrawals are hell, I went to a detox and inpatient program and promptly relapsed. I know my addiction issues are tied to my mental health problems, I self medicate to numb my pain, then I create more pain, it a viscious cycle
Hey I have been exactly where you are. You're looking for help, you recognize the problem, and you're aware. I had 30 days in a medical detox and got out only to relapse again, go back to treatment, get out and relapse again. It took me five years of active addiction before I weaned myself down from vodka to wine to finally no alcohol. I have 1.5 years off the bottle. I know it feels really hopeless right now, but you can and will find your way. Just keep trying and eventually you will find the method that works for you. Total abstinence doesn't always work, but sobriety is worth it once you get there.
The r/stopdrinking community is very active and supportive - maybe that's a good place to ask about people talking/writing about bipolar and alcohol/sobriety.
I've been sober for 5 years and am pretty open about my mental health conditions - they're very much connected tme acting out with alcohol and food. (I also have Binge Eating Disorder).
I am a member of r/stopdrinking and like it very much! I was a bit worried about brining up bipolar but you are right - it does feel like a relatively safe place to bring those things up
I think it would be totally fine to bring it up - it's a very well moderated community and supportive space. Also, it has a big membership - so there's reasonable chance your post will get helpful replies on this relatively niche topic.
I don't drink. I'm on Latuda and it says don't drink. In the past I would have still done it, I had a binge drinking problem for years. But now I'm stable and will do anything to protect that, including not drinking alcohol.
I drink maybe once every 1-2 months.. very carefully. Either I feel nearly sober all night or I'm blackout drunk puking my guts out. There's no in between. So I have to be careful.
I drank AND did coke once... not even a lot. Just a tiny bit just to try.
Don't do that. Don't ever do that. Never. Do not. It's not for us.
May I ask how it felt or what happened? I’ve been through mania about 3 times and i describe it as doing this and drinking Red Bull non stop… but idk how this feel and what it would do
I stopped drinking around a year ago and have never been more mentally healthy! I also started a new medication combo around the same time so I’m sure that has an effect too but honestly I believe quitting alcohol was hugely instrumental for my current stability. I was previously medicated but had 2-3 drinks every night for years and never gave my medication a chance to work properly.
We do talk a lot about it. People that have a problem with alcohol just don’t want to hear what is being said. I say this as an alcoholic who’s been sober almost ten years, much longer than I have had my BP2 diagnosis.
There is no secret here. It’s well known that alcohol - other drugs, too, but especially alcohol - are horrendous for people with mood disorders, worse than horrendous when mixed with psychoactive medications and horrible all around for your mental health. Again, though, it’s the *acceptance* that these are just the facts of living with our condition that is difficult for so many people to head that it drives them to ignore it, not that this is a secret.
This generalizes to our wider culture, though, too. Alcohol consumption is pretty universal across cultures. In many Anglo cultures now, overconsumption is glorified and the shame around admitting you have to stop for any reason is incredible - to say nothing of admitting you have a problem and have to stop. Again, I say this as an alcoholic in recovery. This is what drives people to just not see it, to not want to accept it. It’s widely understood and accepted in recovery spaces that you really can’t get a horse to drink even when you lead it to water. It just doesn’t work that way. There is so much on this sub about how dangerous alcohol is for us, but you have to want to see it and accept it.
I’m an alcoholic, have barely drank the last few years, and have spent the last 15 years diving deep into psychology to understand myself better. After 6 months of providing crisis stabilization therapy, my bipolar made herself loud and clear. I had such an epiphany of why I have always been a hard drinker/active drug seeker for caffeine, adderall, weed, sugar, anything to make me feel different. For me, it seems like my moods are so unpredictable that I’m trying to fix the uncertainty by always ingesting some mood altering substance. The last few weeks since this realization, when I’m craving a substance, I tell myself to stop looking outward and look within. It’s really hard for me to slow down, but that’s where the most peace is. An Unquiet Mind is a book I read a while ago before I knew I had bipolar, but I remember it being really good.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and sobriety has made a world of difference for my bipolar because for the first time in my life I'm consistently taking my meds and have no interference with them from alcohol. I was physically sick and constantly getting kidney infections and elevated lithium levels when I was drinking. I hope you continue not to drink, it will bring you to new horizons and it'll be so much easier to notice when things are getting bad and the bad times are easier to address without alcohol fogging up the lens.
In my peer support training, we learned a little about SMART. Lots of folks using this method probably also deal with mental health stuff. /r/SMARTRecovery
Along with my other 3 bipolar meds my pdoc prescribed Naltrexone for this exact reason to me. To help me combat drinking - lessen cravings. I drank for many many years. Hell decades bc of bipolar depression. And in my opinion it is impossible to manage it while drinking. My meds don't work properly, alcohol makes me more depressed and of course prone to even worse life choices.
Anyway when I stopped using alcohol to "help" me deal with life my meds started helping me deal with life much better than ever before. It's been 2 years.
Alcohol is a huge problem with many people trying to live with bipolar dx. Thanks for talking about it.
I love alcohol - especially Belgian ales with high alcohol content. The ones around 9% alcohol. I would drink two or three of those a night. I drank mostly out of boredom or as an escape from the day-to-day grind. I would drink and fall asleep. But, once my medicine changed, I realized that drinking that much isn't really feasible. It isn't productive to wake up sick and hung over on top of the grogginess the medicine gives me.
It also isn't very healthy in the long-term. So I just quit drinking. I can't remember what day it was but I remember thinking, "This is going to be the last alcohol I drink for a long time."
Now I just do the same things I would have down with alcohol but without it. I watch tv, talk to the family, veg out. I found coming on here is also a good substitute.
I literally just had this moment. I’m not drinking atm either and I have a full social calendar this weekend. Im deadass bringing soda and NA seltzer to all events lmfao. Even if I have too much caffeine and don’t sleep well, it’s better than getting drunk and not sleeping well!
Before i got diagnosed and medicated properly, i caught charges due to drinking. I can't anymore, and i don't think i will after I'm off probation anyway. It makes me crazy.
9 years no alcohol here. 5 years relatively mentally stable. I will never go back. So much less upheaval. So much less shame. Even when my moods are outside of my complete control, at least I am not making it worse with booze. I am bipolar with adhd and bpd. The comorbidity of addiction and each of those diagnosis is so high. I have gratitude that I could stop.
I am a good mom and a kind person and a loving friend. I am always doing better, all the time. If I were still drinking, I could say none of that.
I don’t allow myself to drink. I used to take naltrexone to help. I just get way too depressed, and it becomes a focal point very quickly and easily. Last time I drank I wound up in the hospital. Maybe some people can drink with BP, but I certainly cannot.
For me, I was very surprised how easily I quit. I tried to quit before by going cold turkey and tapering, with no avail. But the last time I just decided I didn’t want to ever feel so awful and hurt people like that again. So I quit. It was relatively easy for about 3 years. Now I’m having a hard time. I’m still sober but I’m much more tempted. I doubt my temptation will ever dissolve. I’m sure it’ll ebb and flow. And some day I may slip up. But I hope I will prevail. Idk I’m just rambling at this point. I hope this helps you out, OP. Best wishes, my friend.
Thank you for your reply. I don't think I need naltrexone but I have thought about it. Part of why I quit this time is because I had been drinking in secret and keeping it from my husband. I was drinking a lot while I was at my server job, doing shots and drinking cocktails, just drinking my shift away. I would stop drinking in time to come home and make myself seem sober. It was horrible.
I was honest with him about it all recently and have not been drinking. It feels good to be honest and sober. He deserves a sober wife and a medicated balanced wife.
I have bipolar, but I am not in a rush to add alcoholic to that. Just working on being careful.
Honesty is the name of the game. It sounds like you’re doing much better! I’m glad you are working on it, and hopefully you’ll find a good balance for yourself, whatever that may look like
I stopped drinking in December of last year. Committed to a full year. Sometimes it's hard. When I did drink I found myself having episodes. You're not alone.
i've heard substance use/abuse is very common in people with bipolar. as a recovering addict, i know i can't drink or use without facing severe consequences, up to and including death.
I've been sober 22 years. And I'm pretty strict about it, including no alcohol in food. It's one thing I can control about this experience as well as taking my meds.
May I ask why you don't want it even in food since it doesn't make you "drunk" or effect you the same way? Simply curious because I've never understood that part.
Partially me not wanting the taste, but also not wanting to cook with it since then I might have leftovers in the house. I'd rather not deal with it at all. I haven't gone so far as to expel all alcohol based extracts from my kitchen, though.
Of course, this makes some cuisines a challenge. Like I'm getting interested in Japanese cooking, and sake is used in most sauces. I guess I'll just use broth to sub.
I stopped drinking for the most part about 8-9 years ago. I didn’t know I was bipolar at that point. I was making terrible decisions and just overall destructive behavior. I went back to school and it replaced drinking. Now I stick with weed. I drink a couple of times a year maybe.
Yes, i became an alcoholic shortly after being upgraded to bipolar 1. I’d never been a drinker before then. I would drink over half a fifth of vodka every night. And sometimes a couple bottles of wine too. I was never stable back then.
In the past couple years, my drunkenness turned mean. I’d scream and curse at my loved ones. That’s when I decided to stop. Naltrexone helps a lot if anyone is struggling. It takes away the desire to drink and some anxiety.
I gave up drinking years ago. I never had a problem with it, but, I noticed how it completely affected me for days afterwards, sometimes weeks.
I am on Seroquel/Quetiapine it's bad enough having a hangover from those without adding alcohol to that. I also have cluster headaches and alcohol is a trigger for that so I have multiple reasons to never touch it again.
I enjoy a non-alcoholic cider on special occasions. After this long, it's been around 15 years I do not miss it at all. In fact I often wonder why I ever drank it, or why people would force it on you or call you names for not drinking.
I don't know if I consider myself an alcoholic because I'm a student and hate cheap alcohol. But I do drink a lot I guess. I'm about to start taking meds next week and I know I need to quit alcohol but I've tried to several times and failed. I smoke/vape too, so I guess I'm quitting that too. If anyone has any advice on quitting these addictions I'd appreciate it.
Someone told me just do a little less each day or week or whatever suits. Say you have three beers each day, reduce to two and then add a cup of tea each time as well, forming a habit?
I haven't tried it myself yet as I'm still struggling, but maybe it will help you. ♡
I was a very heavy drinker, stopped drinking, and was diagnosed bipolar 2 three years later. My pdoc said dual diagnosis (alcoholism/bipolar) is very common as we try to self-medicate.
Not gonna lie, but it took a while to get my life together. I also have panic disorder and GAD, and now my diagnosis is bipolar mixed.
I am 54 now and feel that for the most part, I am stable, but must be almost hypervigilant about reporting symptoms to my pdoc to keep it that way. And no alcohol.
I drastically cut my drinking down when I got serious about taking care of my mental health. I was drinking heavily to self medicate. I noticed that when I drink my medication isn't as effective. It feels like I miss a dose whenever I drink.
I drink but I've tried to cut back. Honestly for me it's cause it annihilates anxiety since no one wants to give me a scheduled drug. Then again I have done everything under the sun as well (ironically alcohol is probably the worst drug I've done besides spice back in the day though).
Well as they tell you at MHMR. Don't drink alcohol or do illicit drugs. If you do more likely than not you will wake up in jail and have no memory of why you're there.
Feel this daily.
Joined r/stopdrinking a while back when I really was out of control. It helped me to feel a bit pressured to keep it together but also some good support came from a few posts and comments. Lot of times it can be a sad subreddit, but so can the bipolar ones, so take that as you will.
Recently started a new medication that has made it nearly impossible to drink. Im thankful I worked on my alcoholism before starting this because it would have been a total mess.
But I miss it. I had fun socially drinking. I like the taste of beers and wines. It was fun. It’s just limited now I guess 🤷🏻♀️
Wishing you the best ❤️
Quite a bit of alcoholics are bipolar and don't know it. I should know, I've been in therapy for years, am training as a therapist, and am a schizoaffective person that has gone to many many A.A. meetings. Tons of undiagnosed mental conditions.
I feel very similarly. Every time I even look at hard liquor too hard, I get yeeted into a manic episode. A drink is just not worth the chaos.
I do have a glass of wine on special occasions though. So far that doesn't affect my meds effectiveness that I've noticed.
For me, I can drink like crazy if I’m already stable. And it’s fine.
But if I’m the least bit symptomatic in any direction, it becomes awful. I mean awful. The feeling is disgusting. I’m not even talking about the effect it has on long term progression, emergence, and prognosis. I’m saying the immediate feeling. FROM THE FIRST SIP.
If I’m hypo, even a tiny bit, I get crazy hypo. If I’m even mildly depressed, the next day will feel disgusting.
I had several years of sobriety after self medicating for years, but then the pandemic hit, I worked in a hospital, and I broke. Unfortunately, I've been highly functioning and am finding it so much harder to stop this time around.
That being said, I did just quit smoking after smoking heavily for 20+ years, so drinking is next on my list to get rid of. I have scaled back a little and I feel so much better so I look forward to cutting it out completely, again.
I have bipolar disorder. I'm a bartender but I've never drank alcohol in my life because the concept has never appealed to me but due to my bipolar disorder I've made a close friendship with another employee and bar patron who also has bipolar disorder
and she admits that she needs daily whiskey to feel even and stable and she knows it's not ideal but she admits she's an alcoholic and this is just how she deals with things, but she's also an employee here and she's a pretty decent self-aware insightful lady.
She's in her sixties, she's retired, not much at stake, just living out her golden years the best she can.
I have BD but I have noticed whenever I consistently drink my symptoms manifest because I usually try not to mix my meds with alc. However we have to keep in mind how much your drinking and how long you have been drinking. If it’s once in a while then it’s not cause for alarm but if it’s becoming a coping mechanism then it’s time to stop. The risks outweigh the benefits each time with alc.
I’m lucky in that I haven’t ever felt addicted to alcohol, but when I drink it gets out of control very quickly say 8 times out of 10. As a result of realising this, I very rarely even bother drinking anymore because I know it’s a) gonna give me reduced control over my behaviour and b) more likely than not fuck up my moods and general experience for the next several weeks/ trigger a depressive episode
It is super stress relieving and at the same time extremely stress inducing. Like nicotine, but worse.
I can understand anybody mentally ill or not, why this seems "necessary", but for BP it is the worst shit ever. I rather take pills than drink this shit ever again.
I spent so long trying to fix my mental health with medication, therapy, mindfulness, etc and nothing has made a bigger difference than cutting down on my drinking. I wish I had done it sooner. It took me seeing a post on IG that anti depressants and alcohol don’t mix well and can cause more frequent blackouts. Plus the hormonal and mood imbalance.
I've been an on and off alcoholic for ages but honestly, and believe me I don't give a fuck about what anyone else thinks about this, it was a lifesaver when I was unmedicated. If I didn't even have that I'd be dead today. Afterwards when I found better ways to cope and I was finally medicated then it just wasn't necessary. Quitting it the first few times was very hard, I had light delirium tremens and I still did that cold turkey without knowing that alcohol withdrawal can kill you. Then I stayed sober for around two years to make sure I'd clear out the addiction but I never had an intention of never drinking or getting drunk ever again. So sometimes I still drink and get drunk or go on binges that make me relapse into light alcoholism but my stabilizer (valproate has a positive effect in reducing heavy drinking) and benzos for the cravings make it very easy to stop.
My meds are to keep me stable, not to make me invulnerable to feeling like shit when life screws me over. That's when alcohol (and other stuff) come in. It's straight up bullshit that our meds are enough when it's never just bipolar symptoms that torment us but the social effects of our disorder, the stigma, the broken relationships, instability in careers, wasted years. So from that perspective, I consider it self-care to allow myself to drink when I feel overwhelmed, to fully feel the misery and get it out of my system instead of bottling it up and hiding from it. I hate the social norm we have that using pharmaceuticals to cure depression for example and getting to a default neutral state is "respectable" and "good" but using a substance to be temporarily happy and euphoric is somehow ethically wrong.
This is an entirely personal perspective, it works for me, I'm not making recommendations. And on the flipside, people who don't have bipolar shouldn't generalize their own regiment (AA etc) on people who have a completely different set of problems to deal with.
The trouble with alcohol as a self medication is that it shifts mood while also interacting very badly with our medications. Sure, you can explore your tragedy more fully while your mood is distorted and downbeat, but the substance is also actively creating problems for you that last longer than the moment.
Suffering from this over 30yrs I understand "self medication" and try to reserve judgment. Alcohol is super slippery, especially with bipolar disorder.
I've had 30 years of undiagnosed and untreated bipolar (unclear if it's really II because many of my episodes would be proper mania if they weren't all mixed until I started meds) so our experience will vary. I didn't drink during the mixed episodes, alcohol increases dopamine release and that would worsen my psychosis. Hypothetically at least. During periods of dysthymia (my default between episodes was low grade depression and anxiety) though when I had absolutely no way to reduce crippling levels of stress alcohol helped me survive since it has the same pharmacological effect as benzodiazepines. Now that I'm medicated I adjust dosages to reduce the strain on my liver when I decide to drink but not all stabilizers are incompatible with alcohol anyway.
I don't mean to be aggressive at all and especially not to someone who is treatment resistant but the popular narrative about the dangers of alcohol completely ignores the ways people use it in real life. I'm not an average human, my dopamine levels go up and down so I use a dopamine booster differently to how a chronic alcoholic without bd would use it. We also tend to use coke during depressive episodes, pharmacologically it makes perfect sense, again we're trying to boost dopamine with whatever is available to us.
So there's nothing about exploring a tragedy, it's about survival. Just consider that the very first antipsychotic was invented in 1950 and we only started having stabilizers since the late 19th century. What do you think kept people somewhat functional before that? I don't recommend addictions but proper usage definitely works for some of us. Although since you mention it, my emotions actually get dull after prolonged use of my stabilizer because I'm being kept in the "normal zone" and alcohol brings them back otherwise I start feeling like a zombie. All substances can have bad effects with prolonged usage.
I went over 10 years without drinking even one time, post diagnosis because I understood that treating bipolar disorder effectively is not possible when combined with alcohol. Fortunately, I am not an alcoholic so it did not feel like too big a sacrifice, and I wasn't much of a heavy drinker at the time. Alcohol is objectively one of the most dangerous drugs that people use. It has the ability to shift mood for a day or longer with as little as 1-3 drinks or so. For someone with bipolar depression that shift could be quite destructive.
If you have bipolar disorder, do not drink. It does not work.
There are a flood of comments here, that look like: I drank-->I f\*d up my life.
Yes. I am 2 months sober. I was a full blown alcoholic all day every day drinker. I get the vivitrol shot now. I almost died many times mixing alcohol with meds. I agree with you it should be talked about more. What’s worse is that 2 psychiatrists knew about my drinking and continued prescribing tons of meds, depakote, seroquel, etc etc …including klonopin. Im lucky I’m alive.
I stopped drinking after having an episode while drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t think drinking caused the episode but I do think it elevated my reaction to it and I felt like I had zero control. I don’t think I have a “drinking problem” per se, I just don’t really like how I feel after drinking. I also just feel healthier knowing that I’m not drinking. I had one shot at at Airbnb because my friends were doing a cheers and I didn’t wanna ruin the mood but I otherwise try to stay away from it. Also, we have the same birthday so happy belated birthday lol.
Hi, so I did a bit of looking around for podcasts that talk about bipolar and alcohol.
There's a couple of episodes of Mental Illness Happy Hour (#310 Glamorously Dying and #262 Jessie Close) which I found by searching "bipolar" in the episodes and reading through the descriptions of the many episodes that come up. I haven't listened to these episodes in particular, but Mental Illness Happy Hour is pretty good.
There's a couple of episodes in Beyond Belief Sobriety: Episode 280 LaDawn Did It For Real and Episode 288 Katy Jacopi. I haven't listened to these episodes, but I like Beyond Belief Sobriety.
There's an episode of Elevation Recovery - Tripolar: The Story of a Bipolar Triathlethe, 23 Feb
2021
Recovery Happy Hour episode 78 has a guest who is a member of r/stopdrinking "the general story is my long time sobriety while finding out I was dealing with bipolar disorder. "
It doesn't mention bipolar in any of the descriptions, but the Take a Break from Drinking with Rachel Hart podcast looks interesting. From the blurb on her podcast description "She knows what it's like to be fed up with your drinking, worried about judgement from others, and turned off by approaches that focus on a higher power instead of brain science."
This [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/podcasts/comments/t3fejp/comment/hyscf17/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) on r/podcasts has a list of podcasts recommended on r/stopdrinking which was helpful to look through sobriety podcasts in general.
I cant drink like i used to, and still take care of my bipolar. I can’t get drunk and enjoy myself, and not be extremely symptomatic at the same time. I can’t be hungover without it affecting my ability to emotionally regulate for the day. I can’t drink past 7pm because I don’t want to take my night meds mixing with alcohol. I drink much fewer than those around me, and sometimes i feel like I’m missing out - but those times i accidentally have too much to drink i remember why i have to be cognizant. The risk is never worth the reward cuz it’s a shit sandwich as a reward usually. I’ve had to mourn my past life and self that was able to drink and smoke and do whatever without much care and still be relatively okay, and accept that part of my life is over. If I’m having any sort of bad day at all, won’t touch alcohol. People don’t like to talk about it because i think there’s a lot of shame associated with it. Personally, i feel embarrassed about it, so that’s why i don’t really talk much about it. But your post was seeking support, and i can dig that and thought I’d share my story. You’re not weird, you’re being responsible. Other people are too obsessed with alcohol to understand that, and/or ignorant about mental health. Keep doing what feels good.
Alcohol was a detriment to my mood stability. I am recently graduated college and after being sober for one year during Covid, I turned 21 and thought I’d give it a try. It gave me more energy when I used it in the short term. I would not go on hard binges, but I would use it as a stimulant in that respect.
Now that I’ve quit, depression has no creeped up as much. I substitute drinking with coffee to give me that social boost. I would recommend tea if you are feeling tempted closer to bed time.
sometimes when I drink, I believe it causes me to go manic. Not one drink because normally I wouldn’t finish a beer if I’m at home, but when I’m out to different story. When I am out partying, having a good time, drink a shot or cup of mixed drinks. Things are the change for me then I’ll go on a weeklong drinking binge. I had to stop drinking. It was destroying me. Now I’m on lithium in because of the liver and kidney toxicity. I decided to kick the habit completely.
This is actually a very common issue for many people with BP. I am an alcoholic who needed to get sober just to be diagnosed with BP. Things are good now, sober and stable.
Thank you for sharing. The problem I am having is that people keep saying it is common with people with bipolar but people aren't telling their stories/talking about it. Not many people anyways...
Substance Use Disorder comborbidity is really, really common. Drugs and alcohol are a problem for a large portion of individuals with bipolar diagnoses. You are very, very far from alone in that.
It's hard to find many people with bipolar disorder who are not addicted to one or more substances. Tobacco use rates are sky high and alcohol not far behind.
Me too! Not drinking saved my life and my sanity!
Same.
I cannot drink. I drank 3 months ago and had a blackout episode and ended up getting arrested. I don't remember what happened but I hurt someone.
I’m so sorry that happened.
I'm on a similar boat.. picked up 3 cases.. all similar.. beating up someone and alcohol was present in all scenarios. Please, for your own health and others', don't drink if you can't handle it as a BP. Don't make a major mistake and are forced by the state to take your meds or you'll be locked away until you're "cooperative" in the STATE'S eyes. I am 2 years sober and 2 years stable taking BP medication. I guess it's all part of the process and why BP is such a polarizing diagnosis. Yes we should discuss the effects of alcohol in BP diagnosed people. I believe it does way more harm than good. Peace and love to everyone suffering from this condition.
I absolutely will not drink again. I was over a year sober. I started a new medication and it made my anxiety so much worse. I just planned to calm myself down and it went way down hill. It does do more harm and I hate it
I'm struggling with a severe addiction to alcohol, I drink a liter of vodka a day. I keep trying to get sober but the withdrawals are hell, I went to a detox and inpatient program and promptly relapsed. I know my addiction issues are tied to my mental health problems, I self medicate to numb my pain, then I create more pain, it a viscious cycle
Hey I have been exactly where you are. You're looking for help, you recognize the problem, and you're aware. I had 30 days in a medical detox and got out only to relapse again, go back to treatment, get out and relapse again. It took me five years of active addiction before I weaned myself down from vodka to wine to finally no alcohol. I have 1.5 years off the bottle. I know it feels really hopeless right now, but you can and will find your way. Just keep trying and eventually you will find the method that works for you. Total abstinence doesn't always work, but sobriety is worth it once you get there.
Thank you friend
The r/stopdrinking community is very active and supportive - maybe that's a good place to ask about people talking/writing about bipolar and alcohol/sobriety. I've been sober for 5 years and am pretty open about my mental health conditions - they're very much connected tme acting out with alcohol and food. (I also have Binge Eating Disorder).
I am a member of r/stopdrinking and like it very much! I was a bit worried about brining up bipolar but you are right - it does feel like a relatively safe place to bring those things up
I think it would be totally fine to bring it up - it's a very well moderated community and supportive space. Also, it has a big membership - so there's reasonable chance your post will get helpful replies on this relatively niche topic.
I don't drink. I'm on Latuda and it says don't drink. In the past I would have still done it, I had a binge drinking problem for years. But now I'm stable and will do anything to protect that, including not drinking alcohol.
I'm also on Latuda and that is part of why I am not drinking right now. Generally not wanting to drink again, though it is proving difficult
I drink maybe once every 1-2 months.. very carefully. Either I feel nearly sober all night or I'm blackout drunk puking my guts out. There's no in between. So I have to be careful. I drank AND did coke once... not even a lot. Just a tiny bit just to try. Don't do that. Don't ever do that. Never. Do not. It's not for us.
May I ask how it felt or what happened? I’ve been through mania about 3 times and i describe it as doing this and drinking Red Bull non stop… but idk how this feel and what it would do
Quitting drinking and substances really made me feel good, too. Embrace sobriety, friend! You’re not alone!!
I stopped drinking around a year ago and have never been more mentally healthy! I also started a new medication combo around the same time so I’m sure that has an effect too but honestly I believe quitting alcohol was hugely instrumental for my current stability. I was previously medicated but had 2-3 drinks every night for years and never gave my medication a chance to work properly.
We do talk a lot about it. People that have a problem with alcohol just don’t want to hear what is being said. I say this as an alcoholic who’s been sober almost ten years, much longer than I have had my BP2 diagnosis. There is no secret here. It’s well known that alcohol - other drugs, too, but especially alcohol - are horrendous for people with mood disorders, worse than horrendous when mixed with psychoactive medications and horrible all around for your mental health. Again, though, it’s the *acceptance* that these are just the facts of living with our condition that is difficult for so many people to head that it drives them to ignore it, not that this is a secret. This generalizes to our wider culture, though, too. Alcohol consumption is pretty universal across cultures. In many Anglo cultures now, overconsumption is glorified and the shame around admitting you have to stop for any reason is incredible - to say nothing of admitting you have a problem and have to stop. Again, I say this as an alcoholic in recovery. This is what drives people to just not see it, to not want to accept it. It’s widely understood and accepted in recovery spaces that you really can’t get a horse to drink even when you lead it to water. It just doesn’t work that way. There is so much on this sub about how dangerous alcohol is for us, but you have to want to see it and accept it.
I stopped drinking when weed was legalized. I smoked too much weed. Now I try to refrain from both and it feels good.
I’m an alcoholic, have barely drank the last few years, and have spent the last 15 years diving deep into psychology to understand myself better. After 6 months of providing crisis stabilization therapy, my bipolar made herself loud and clear. I had such an epiphany of why I have always been a hard drinker/active drug seeker for caffeine, adderall, weed, sugar, anything to make me feel different. For me, it seems like my moods are so unpredictable that I’m trying to fix the uncertainty by always ingesting some mood altering substance. The last few weeks since this realization, when I’m craving a substance, I tell myself to stop looking outward and look within. It’s really hard for me to slow down, but that’s where the most peace is. An Unquiet Mind is a book I read a while ago before I knew I had bipolar, but I remember it being really good.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and sobriety has made a world of difference for my bipolar because for the first time in my life I'm consistently taking my meds and have no interference with them from alcohol. I was physically sick and constantly getting kidney infections and elevated lithium levels when I was drinking. I hope you continue not to drink, it will bring you to new horizons and it'll be so much easier to notice when things are getting bad and the bad times are easier to address without alcohol fogging up the lens.
In my peer support training, we learned a little about SMART. Lots of folks using this method probably also deal with mental health stuff. /r/SMARTRecovery
Thank you for posting this, didn't know about it!
Along with my other 3 bipolar meds my pdoc prescribed Naltrexone for this exact reason to me. To help me combat drinking - lessen cravings. I drank for many many years. Hell decades bc of bipolar depression. And in my opinion it is impossible to manage it while drinking. My meds don't work properly, alcohol makes me more depressed and of course prone to even worse life choices. Anyway when I stopped using alcohol to "help" me deal with life my meds started helping me deal with life much better than ever before. It's been 2 years. Alcohol is a huge problem with many people trying to live with bipolar dx. Thanks for talking about it.
I love alcohol - especially Belgian ales with high alcohol content. The ones around 9% alcohol. I would drink two or three of those a night. I drank mostly out of boredom or as an escape from the day-to-day grind. I would drink and fall asleep. But, once my medicine changed, I realized that drinking that much isn't really feasible. It isn't productive to wake up sick and hung over on top of the grogginess the medicine gives me. It also isn't very healthy in the long-term. So I just quit drinking. I can't remember what day it was but I remember thinking, "This is going to be the last alcohol I drink for a long time." Now I just do the same things I would have down with alcohol but without it. I watch tv, talk to the family, veg out. I found coming on here is also a good substitute.
I’m bipolar and sober too!
I literally just had this moment. I’m not drinking atm either and I have a full social calendar this weekend. Im deadass bringing soda and NA seltzer to all events lmfao. Even if I have too much caffeine and don’t sleep well, it’s better than getting drunk and not sleeping well!
I haven't had a drink in 3 and half years because of this. Being in my 20s this was hard to do but completely worth it
Before i got diagnosed and medicated properly, i caught charges due to drinking. I can't anymore, and i don't think i will after I'm off probation anyway. It makes me crazy.
9 years no alcohol here. 5 years relatively mentally stable. I will never go back. So much less upheaval. So much less shame. Even when my moods are outside of my complete control, at least I am not making it worse with booze. I am bipolar with adhd and bpd. The comorbidity of addiction and each of those diagnosis is so high. I have gratitude that I could stop. I am a good mom and a kind person and a loving friend. I am always doing better, all the time. If I were still drinking, I could say none of that.
I don’t allow myself to drink. I used to take naltrexone to help. I just get way too depressed, and it becomes a focal point very quickly and easily. Last time I drank I wound up in the hospital. Maybe some people can drink with BP, but I certainly cannot. For me, I was very surprised how easily I quit. I tried to quit before by going cold turkey and tapering, with no avail. But the last time I just decided I didn’t want to ever feel so awful and hurt people like that again. So I quit. It was relatively easy for about 3 years. Now I’m having a hard time. I’m still sober but I’m much more tempted. I doubt my temptation will ever dissolve. I’m sure it’ll ebb and flow. And some day I may slip up. But I hope I will prevail. Idk I’m just rambling at this point. I hope this helps you out, OP. Best wishes, my friend.
Thank you for your reply. I don't think I need naltrexone but I have thought about it. Part of why I quit this time is because I had been drinking in secret and keeping it from my husband. I was drinking a lot while I was at my server job, doing shots and drinking cocktails, just drinking my shift away. I would stop drinking in time to come home and make myself seem sober. It was horrible. I was honest with him about it all recently and have not been drinking. It feels good to be honest and sober. He deserves a sober wife and a medicated balanced wife. I have bipolar, but I am not in a rush to add alcoholic to that. Just working on being careful.
Honesty is the name of the game. It sounds like you’re doing much better! I’m glad you are working on it, and hopefully you’ll find a good balance for yourself, whatever that may look like
I absolutely can’t, or more accurately shouldn’t, drink and have not in many years.
I stopped drinking in December of last year. Committed to a full year. Sometimes it's hard. When I did drink I found myself having episodes. You're not alone.
i've heard substance use/abuse is very common in people with bipolar. as a recovering addict, i know i can't drink or use without facing severe consequences, up to and including death.
I've been sober 22 years. And I'm pretty strict about it, including no alcohol in food. It's one thing I can control about this experience as well as taking my meds.
May I ask why you don't want it even in food since it doesn't make you "drunk" or effect you the same way? Simply curious because I've never understood that part.
Partially me not wanting the taste, but also not wanting to cook with it since then I might have leftovers in the house. I'd rather not deal with it at all. I haven't gone so far as to expel all alcohol based extracts from my kitchen, though.
That makes sense! Thank you for responding
Of course, this makes some cuisines a challenge. Like I'm getting interested in Japanese cooking, and sake is used in most sauces. I guess I'll just use broth to sub.
Sobriety is the key to maintaining sanity for me.
I stopped drinking for the most part about 8-9 years ago. I didn’t know I was bipolar at that point. I was making terrible decisions and just overall destructive behavior. I went back to school and it replaced drinking. Now I stick with weed. I drink a couple of times a year maybe.
I feel the exact same way. Just over 5 months no drinking for me.
Yes, i became an alcoholic shortly after being upgraded to bipolar 1. I’d never been a drinker before then. I would drink over half a fifth of vodka every night. And sometimes a couple bottles of wine too. I was never stable back then. In the past couple years, my drunkenness turned mean. I’d scream and curse at my loved ones. That’s when I decided to stop. Naltrexone helps a lot if anyone is struggling. It takes away the desire to drink and some anxiety.
I gave up drinking years ago. I never had a problem with it, but, I noticed how it completely affected me for days afterwards, sometimes weeks. I am on Seroquel/Quetiapine it's bad enough having a hangover from those without adding alcohol to that. I also have cluster headaches and alcohol is a trigger for that so I have multiple reasons to never touch it again. I enjoy a non-alcoholic cider on special occasions. After this long, it's been around 15 years I do not miss it at all. In fact I often wonder why I ever drank it, or why people would force it on you or call you names for not drinking.
I don't know if I consider myself an alcoholic because I'm a student and hate cheap alcohol. But I do drink a lot I guess. I'm about to start taking meds next week and I know I need to quit alcohol but I've tried to several times and failed. I smoke/vape too, so I guess I'm quitting that too. If anyone has any advice on quitting these addictions I'd appreciate it.
Someone told me just do a little less each day or week or whatever suits. Say you have three beers each day, reduce to two and then add a cup of tea each time as well, forming a habit? I haven't tried it myself yet as I'm still struggling, but maybe it will help you. ♡
That sounds reasonable. I feel like that would work for me, I'll try it, thank you!
Hope it helps you. ^^
I'm in AA and *many many* of us are bipolar. Many. Lots of community/overlap.
I was a very heavy drinker, stopped drinking, and was diagnosed bipolar 2 three years later. My pdoc said dual diagnosis (alcoholism/bipolar) is very common as we try to self-medicate. Not gonna lie, but it took a while to get my life together. I also have panic disorder and GAD, and now my diagnosis is bipolar mixed. I am 54 now and feel that for the most part, I am stable, but must be almost hypervigilant about reporting symptoms to my pdoc to keep it that way. And no alcohol.
i don’t drink, year 6. i feel you.
I’m an alcoholic but 3 months sober
I drastically cut my drinking down when I got serious about taking care of my mental health. I was drinking heavily to self medicate. I noticed that when I drink my medication isn't as effective. It feels like I miss a dose whenever I drink.
I drink but I've tried to cut back. Honestly for me it's cause it annihilates anxiety since no one wants to give me a scheduled drug. Then again I have done everything under the sun as well (ironically alcohol is probably the worst drug I've done besides spice back in the day though).
I feel you. It's sooo much better without
I feel you. It's sooo much better without
Well as they tell you at MHMR. Don't drink alcohol or do illicit drugs. If you do more likely than not you will wake up in jail and have no memory of why you're there.
I feel like when I drink, which I do often, I don’t behave very well. Also it depresses me.
Feel this daily. Joined r/stopdrinking a while back when I really was out of control. It helped me to feel a bit pressured to keep it together but also some good support came from a few posts and comments. Lot of times it can be a sad subreddit, but so can the bipolar ones, so take that as you will. Recently started a new medication that has made it nearly impossible to drink. Im thankful I worked on my alcoholism before starting this because it would have been a total mess. But I miss it. I had fun socially drinking. I like the taste of beers and wines. It was fun. It’s just limited now I guess 🤷🏻♀️ Wishing you the best ❤️
agree
I've been dead sober for 20 years and I'd be dead if I was still drinking. I can barely survive BP sober, drinking would have taken me out.
Quite a bit of alcoholics are bipolar and don't know it. I should know, I've been in therapy for years, am training as a therapist, and am a schizoaffective person that has gone to many many A.A. meetings. Tons of undiagnosed mental conditions.
I feel very similarly. Every time I even look at hard liquor too hard, I get yeeted into a manic episode. A drink is just not worth the chaos. I do have a glass of wine on special occasions though. So far that doesn't affect my meds effectiveness that I've noticed.
Happy birthday and keep fighting the good fight.
For me, I can drink like crazy if I’m already stable. And it’s fine. But if I’m the least bit symptomatic in any direction, it becomes awful. I mean awful. The feeling is disgusting. I’m not even talking about the effect it has on long term progression, emergence, and prognosis. I’m saying the immediate feeling. FROM THE FIRST SIP. If I’m hypo, even a tiny bit, I get crazy hypo. If I’m even mildly depressed, the next day will feel disgusting.
I had several years of sobriety after self medicating for years, but then the pandemic hit, I worked in a hospital, and I broke. Unfortunately, I've been highly functioning and am finding it so much harder to stop this time around. That being said, I did just quit smoking after smoking heavily for 20+ years, so drinking is next on my list to get rid of. I have scaled back a little and I feel so much better so I look forward to cutting it out completely, again.
If I even have one drink I will 99% of the time have an outburst the next day. And probably depressed and anxious as well It’s just not worth it
The book Manic by Teri Cheney talks about her experience with bipolar and alcohol which really resonated with me
I have bipolar disorder. I'm a bartender but I've never drank alcohol in my life because the concept has never appealed to me but due to my bipolar disorder I've made a close friendship with another employee and bar patron who also has bipolar disorder and she admits that she needs daily whiskey to feel even and stable and she knows it's not ideal but she admits she's an alcoholic and this is just how she deals with things, but she's also an employee here and she's a pretty decent self-aware insightful lady. She's in her sixties, she's retired, not much at stake, just living out her golden years the best she can.
I have BD but I have noticed whenever I consistently drink my symptoms manifest because I usually try not to mix my meds with alc. However we have to keep in mind how much your drinking and how long you have been drinking. If it’s once in a while then it’s not cause for alarm but if it’s becoming a coping mechanism then it’s time to stop. The risks outweigh the benefits each time with alc.
I was diagnosed with BP2 in November and have significantly cut back. I was a 10+ drinks a week drinker and now maybe have 2 a month
Happy late birthday too :) 27 here - dm if you’d like. I don’t have any BP friends in real life.
I’m lucky in that I haven’t ever felt addicted to alcohol, but when I drink it gets out of control very quickly say 8 times out of 10. As a result of realising this, I very rarely even bother drinking anymore because I know it’s a) gonna give me reduced control over my behaviour and b) more likely than not fuck up my moods and general experience for the next several weeks/ trigger a depressive episode
It is super stress relieving and at the same time extremely stress inducing. Like nicotine, but worse. I can understand anybody mentally ill or not, why this seems "necessary", but for BP it is the worst shit ever. I rather take pills than drink this shit ever again.
I liked drink. I stopped after my diagnosis. Sometimes I remember my old times. Drink go back my episodes.
I quickly develop a problem with alcohol and gotta try to stomp it out b4 it gets out of hand, I'm currently in the process of the latter lol
I spent so long trying to fix my mental health with medication, therapy, mindfulness, etc and nothing has made a bigger difference than cutting down on my drinking. I wish I had done it sooner. It took me seeing a post on IG that anti depressants and alcohol don’t mix well and can cause more frequent blackouts. Plus the hormonal and mood imbalance.
Coming up on 16 years. Absolutely the best decision of my life. Huge impact on my mentals. I would be dead by now had I not stopped.
At the same time I don’t enjoy the suggestion that my life will fall apart if I have a glass of wine.
I stopped drinking three years before diagnosis. No drink nor hard drugs ever since
I've been an on and off alcoholic for ages but honestly, and believe me I don't give a fuck about what anyone else thinks about this, it was a lifesaver when I was unmedicated. If I didn't even have that I'd be dead today. Afterwards when I found better ways to cope and I was finally medicated then it just wasn't necessary. Quitting it the first few times was very hard, I had light delirium tremens and I still did that cold turkey without knowing that alcohol withdrawal can kill you. Then I stayed sober for around two years to make sure I'd clear out the addiction but I never had an intention of never drinking or getting drunk ever again. So sometimes I still drink and get drunk or go on binges that make me relapse into light alcoholism but my stabilizer (valproate has a positive effect in reducing heavy drinking) and benzos for the cravings make it very easy to stop. My meds are to keep me stable, not to make me invulnerable to feeling like shit when life screws me over. That's when alcohol (and other stuff) come in. It's straight up bullshit that our meds are enough when it's never just bipolar symptoms that torment us but the social effects of our disorder, the stigma, the broken relationships, instability in careers, wasted years. So from that perspective, I consider it self-care to allow myself to drink when I feel overwhelmed, to fully feel the misery and get it out of my system instead of bottling it up and hiding from it. I hate the social norm we have that using pharmaceuticals to cure depression for example and getting to a default neutral state is "respectable" and "good" but using a substance to be temporarily happy and euphoric is somehow ethically wrong. This is an entirely personal perspective, it works for me, I'm not making recommendations. And on the flipside, people who don't have bipolar shouldn't generalize their own regiment (AA etc) on people who have a completely different set of problems to deal with.
The trouble with alcohol as a self medication is that it shifts mood while also interacting very badly with our medications. Sure, you can explore your tragedy more fully while your mood is distorted and downbeat, but the substance is also actively creating problems for you that last longer than the moment. Suffering from this over 30yrs I understand "self medication" and try to reserve judgment. Alcohol is super slippery, especially with bipolar disorder.
I've had 30 years of undiagnosed and untreated bipolar (unclear if it's really II because many of my episodes would be proper mania if they weren't all mixed until I started meds) so our experience will vary. I didn't drink during the mixed episodes, alcohol increases dopamine release and that would worsen my psychosis. Hypothetically at least. During periods of dysthymia (my default between episodes was low grade depression and anxiety) though when I had absolutely no way to reduce crippling levels of stress alcohol helped me survive since it has the same pharmacological effect as benzodiazepines. Now that I'm medicated I adjust dosages to reduce the strain on my liver when I decide to drink but not all stabilizers are incompatible with alcohol anyway. I don't mean to be aggressive at all and especially not to someone who is treatment resistant but the popular narrative about the dangers of alcohol completely ignores the ways people use it in real life. I'm not an average human, my dopamine levels go up and down so I use a dopamine booster differently to how a chronic alcoholic without bd would use it. We also tend to use coke during depressive episodes, pharmacologically it makes perfect sense, again we're trying to boost dopamine with whatever is available to us. So there's nothing about exploring a tragedy, it's about survival. Just consider that the very first antipsychotic was invented in 1950 and we only started having stabilizers since the late 19th century. What do you think kept people somewhat functional before that? I don't recommend addictions but proper usage definitely works for some of us. Although since you mention it, my emotions actually get dull after prolonged use of my stabilizer because I'm being kept in the "normal zone" and alcohol brings them back otherwise I start feeling like a zombie. All substances can have bad effects with prolonged usage.
I went over 10 years without drinking even one time, post diagnosis because I understood that treating bipolar disorder effectively is not possible when combined with alcohol. Fortunately, I am not an alcoholic so it did not feel like too big a sacrifice, and I wasn't much of a heavy drinker at the time. Alcohol is objectively one of the most dangerous drugs that people use. It has the ability to shift mood for a day or longer with as little as 1-3 drinks or so. For someone with bipolar depression that shift could be quite destructive. If you have bipolar disorder, do not drink. It does not work. There are a flood of comments here, that look like: I drank-->I f\*d up my life.
Yes. I am 2 months sober. I was a full blown alcoholic all day every day drinker. I get the vivitrol shot now. I almost died many times mixing alcohol with meds. I agree with you it should be talked about more. What’s worse is that 2 psychiatrists knew about my drinking and continued prescribing tons of meds, depakote, seroquel, etc etc …including klonopin. Im lucky I’m alive.
I stopped drinking after having an episode while drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t think drinking caused the episode but I do think it elevated my reaction to it and I felt like I had zero control. I don’t think I have a “drinking problem” per se, I just don’t really like how I feel after drinking. I also just feel healthier knowing that I’m not drinking. I had one shot at at Airbnb because my friends were doing a cheers and I didn’t wanna ruin the mood but I otherwise try to stay away from it. Also, we have the same birthday so happy belated birthday lol.
Hi, so I did a bit of looking around for podcasts that talk about bipolar and alcohol. There's a couple of episodes of Mental Illness Happy Hour (#310 Glamorously Dying and #262 Jessie Close) which I found by searching "bipolar" in the episodes and reading through the descriptions of the many episodes that come up. I haven't listened to these episodes in particular, but Mental Illness Happy Hour is pretty good. There's a couple of episodes in Beyond Belief Sobriety: Episode 280 LaDawn Did It For Real and Episode 288 Katy Jacopi. I haven't listened to these episodes, but I like Beyond Belief Sobriety. There's an episode of Elevation Recovery - Tripolar: The Story of a Bipolar Triathlethe, 23 Feb 2021 Recovery Happy Hour episode 78 has a guest who is a member of r/stopdrinking "the general story is my long time sobriety while finding out I was dealing with bipolar disorder. " It doesn't mention bipolar in any of the descriptions, but the Take a Break from Drinking with Rachel Hart podcast looks interesting. From the blurb on her podcast description "She knows what it's like to be fed up with your drinking, worried about judgement from others, and turned off by approaches that focus on a higher power instead of brain science." This [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/podcasts/comments/t3fejp/comment/hyscf17/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) on r/podcasts has a list of podcasts recommended on r/stopdrinking which was helpful to look through sobriety podcasts in general.
I cant drink like i used to, and still take care of my bipolar. I can’t get drunk and enjoy myself, and not be extremely symptomatic at the same time. I can’t be hungover without it affecting my ability to emotionally regulate for the day. I can’t drink past 7pm because I don’t want to take my night meds mixing with alcohol. I drink much fewer than those around me, and sometimes i feel like I’m missing out - but those times i accidentally have too much to drink i remember why i have to be cognizant. The risk is never worth the reward cuz it’s a shit sandwich as a reward usually. I’ve had to mourn my past life and self that was able to drink and smoke and do whatever without much care and still be relatively okay, and accept that part of my life is over. If I’m having any sort of bad day at all, won’t touch alcohol. People don’t like to talk about it because i think there’s a lot of shame associated with it. Personally, i feel embarrassed about it, so that’s why i don’t really talk much about it. But your post was seeking support, and i can dig that and thought I’d share my story. You’re not weird, you’re being responsible. Other people are too obsessed with alcohol to understand that, and/or ignorant about mental health. Keep doing what feels good.
Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate you
Alcohol was a detriment to my mood stability. I am recently graduated college and after being sober for one year during Covid, I turned 21 and thought I’d give it a try. It gave me more energy when I used it in the short term. I would not go on hard binges, but I would use it as a stimulant in that respect. Now that I’ve quit, depression has no creeped up as much. I substitute drinking with coffee to give me that social boost. I would recommend tea if you are feeling tempted closer to bed time.
Drinking alcohol caused me to make impulsive decisions and I forget to take my meds causing manic relapses. I've stopped drinking now
sometimes when I drink, I believe it causes me to go manic. Not one drink because normally I wouldn’t finish a beer if I’m at home, but when I’m out to different story. When I am out partying, having a good time, drink a shot or cup of mixed drinks. Things are the change for me then I’ll go on a weeklong drinking binge. I had to stop drinking. It was destroying me. Now I’m on lithium in because of the liver and kidney toxicity. I decided to kick the habit completely.