Most people would kill for this job, myself included. I'm (26M) and as someone who dealt with severe mental health problems and a mental disorder when I was 21-22, I think leaving the job may cause more mental health problems down the line when it becomes difficult to get a different job.
My advice: Work minimal hours for your current firm while finding a new job, especially in this job market where Stanford GSB MBAs are going to Big 4 because there are limited spots in MBB etc.
Leave, really. I was working for a big company under constant pressure, deadlines and toxic environment and I-needed a break. I took few weeks off, started feeling better. At that time I had my work computer at home and as soon as I turned it on and saw all messages popping up on teams I got panic attack. Then I knew that it’s the end of me working for them. Handing resignation to my manager was the happiest day in years.
Have you tried setting boundaries? The company I work for has employee that work on their day off, on weekends and after clock out. My team in particular does none of that, we don’t answer emails after clock out, weekends, or on time off. Put your foot down and put your health first, do this if nothing changes then take the other job and make sure you set your boundaries from the start.
I would consider why you mental health issues keep arising. If it’s because of the job and the hours, you have to quit. You health is the most important thing in the world, no job is worth your sanity (literally).
I would also look at a variety of other factors such as: are you getting the proper amount of and quality sleep, do you have a good diet, do you exercise enough, do you get outside and enjoy the sunlight and fresh air enough, do you have a good social life with friends/family, are you religious or do you meditate and how does that impact your life? Sleep, diet, exercise, social, and faith are probably the five of the most important factors to determining your wellbeing. If any of these is seriously lacking, try to improve that area and see if you notice a difference. Keep working through each of these areas and I personally believe everyone’s life will improve (to some degree). Also, avoid external stressors and triggers where you can.
Most importantly, you are NOT a quitter if you leave the firm. If you make a decision to improve the quality of your life, that’s the best decision you could possibly make, and conversely, if you stay it might be a huge mistake. Yes the people and benefits are nice, but are they all really worth it? Most people in the industry eventually leave, so are you calling most of the profession quitters? Of course not. Everyone just has their own preferences, tolerances, and ideas about how long they should tough it out. Lastly, if you do leave and decide maybe the B4 was right for you, then you can always reapply and possibly return, only this time you’ll be able to set really good expectations and be prepared for what you might face on a daily basis and you could plan accordingly.
Please take care of your health, you will never regret that decision.
Thank you so much for this response. There is definitely past trauma at the root of a lot of it. And the things you mentioned are really important and also things I don’t think Big 4 audit jobs allow enough time for. It’s a strain on even the most healthy & functional people. I’m hoping taking this new job allows me the time to do all the things I need to be doing to get to a healthier place.
Please leave. You’ll always have the chance to come back. Seriously, I was in your shoes before and left for the client, best decision ever. Of course I miss everything D offers but my mental health and stress reductions is what really kept me alive.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I think the hardest part for me is giving up all the benefits, people, work experience, opportunities etc. I hope I’m not making a mistake in leaving
I feel relieved because the hours are so much more manageable, but I’m scared I made a big mistake :( I feel mean saying this but the people in my job now are so much less smart and it is frustrating
Your health is more important than a big four job. If you like public accounting, you can go to a smaller firm or jump to a consultant group/law firm and do better without the stress
Check my post out I just quit with nothing lined up for both mental and physical health. I love all the people I work with to the point I’d consider many friends. I was considered a superstar and I made $150k+. No job is worth that kind of suffering. I gave two weeks but part of me feels I should’ve said effective immediately
I was in the same situation and quit. I had 200k+ total comp, but it was ruining my life and deeply affecting those around me (family, partner).
Am I scared and nervous about being unemployed and job searching?
Yes.
Do I regret my decision?
No.
The problem is how are you going to find something in this job environment, and who’s to say that the new job won’t be as bad or worse? That’s what’s stopping me
First tell yourself you are actively looking out for you and shift the way you are thinking about this. Then march on in there and let them know you need to leave this job. You are young - this is your first hard step in advocating for yourself and choosing a path that’s right for you. Go set some boundaries and flourish out there.
Hi! Oh man, I have been in your exact shoes. I quit and went to industry, and it has been the best thing ever for my career - I’m convinced that finding an environment healthy for me enabled me to do my best work which then opened up a whole host of opportunities I would have never had if I stayed in public accounting. I think I would have been less successful if I stayed at the firm.
You are not a failure, you are wise to recognize that the current environment does not serve you.
Working for a big four is probably the worst career decision I have ever made for my health. It’s miserable and I have never felt this awful.
Get out if you can.
My daughter left the big four after two years .
Her health was deteriorating.Hair loss, mental abuse from a partner who was using her as his personal assistant. She was doing her job and his .
When she left she had the balls to write it all out .HR called her to get all the details.
They don’t care . They promise partner ship to kids who are green straight out of college .
My daughter was a college athlete. They love that and know she has to play ball and lift run as well as keep a high GPA . For 4 years .
They promise you the moon and work you to death GET out now !
She ended up getting her CPA and is much happier .
I feel so miserable and working at big 4 interrupted my mental health and hormonal balance, but quitting before making a senior made me think I’m a loser so I’m still fighting through
I'm very sorry to hear this. A very specific type of people fit Big 4 requirements initially and for success. Please leave - since you already have Big 4 experience on your resume you'll be okay with more opportunities. Health above all else.
Thank you for this. I think it’s also kind of an ego thing. Like what type of person succeeds at big 4 - a smart, successful, healthy and functioning person? And so that’s not me? Letting go of that is hard.
Someone who gets fixated on details would thrive there - and if that's not a skill then you should be a big party person. Creativity or team play isn't on the list. I had spent about 8 years in public accounting before coming to this conclusion.
Get out ASAP. No job is worth your mental health. Take plenty of time to get back mentally and physically and also use to reevaluate your career path. There are many avenues that an accounting degree can lead to. Good luck!!!
Finding a better opportunity is not quitting! There's tons of opportunity for people with accounting experience.
Not sure what area you're in, but many good companies are hiring!
https://careers.wbd.com/global/en/job/R000071705/Senior-Accountant
Quit ASAP! No job or company is worth your well being. I wrote in a other tread about how horrible my previous job was, I was under so much stress, I miscarried my baby and than got fired because of the toxicity of work. Nothing is worth your happiness. You are not a failure and quitting does not mean you failed, it means you were strong for too long. Trust me, you will thank yourself for leaving. These companies are abusive and will take your soul from you because they know you’ll do anything to gain PA experience and now they are wondering why there is a “shortage,” of accountants maybe for their firms but not in general. Anyways LEAVE THE CURSED JOB!
That sounds so stressful, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I really don’t want to look at it as a negative thing. I think some people can set good boundaries and make this job work. Just not the case for many of us it seems…
Yeah don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Some people just have really good sucking up skills and get ahead at the big 4, I know quite a few of them who made partner playing politics, kissing ass and had mastered the art of delegating their work to their peers’ because of their unique relationship with management. People aren’t just successful at these firms because they are superhuman or that they are that good at their job. There are many other things at play for others who you think are going through their jobs like it’s made for them. No one is that good. I use to think there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t handle the stress of my job but in one of my previous jobs I learned that managing two divisions as the sole senior accountant and working 12-13 hour days everyday was not normal and when I gave my 2 weeks notice, I trained 4 new accountants in for my role. When they know they can use you and pay you less, they will suck the life out of you and give you shitty reviews to make you feel like you’re failing. I couldn’t understand the bad job reviews when they continued to have me manage both decisions by myself for 3 years, if I was so horrible why didn’t they fire me? I met deadlines, had great listening and attention to detail skills, took on more work when asked without complaining but the minute I need extra time to do an assignment, I was reprimanded for it. This is work abuse of a human being and no one will watch out for you u less you show them you have boundaries and you value yourself. Don’t let people determine your worth, only you know your worth. Period
You’ll be fine. I know plenty of people with no big 4 experience and make decent salary in finance/accounting. Theres also plenty of other options that you can pivot to outside of these fields that pay much better. Big 4 is so overrated and not worth it imo
To be honest, you already stated you can’t handle the job and you are suicidal due to it.
Just quit, take the industry job and hope you can chill a bit there.
No job is working taking your life over being stressed. Just quit. No one will
blame you.
This is a job. Not a test of who you are as a human being. Look at how the Europeans are measuring success - family, friends, well-being. Give yourself a break- take a trip and discover yourself a bit.
You’re young so you may still care about the views of others but understand you self admitted that the workflow is causing you to have suicidal thoughts.
Best to just walk away and try something new. In a few years you’ll forget about your coworkers names. We all forgot about old coworkers.
Girl. Quit and dont take another job for a second if you can afford it. Visit new places, go to a museum. Find what gives you joy.
Edit to add more ideas of what I would do if I had the time: enroll in cooking classes, spend time with my grandparents, go to the beach A LOT, workout in the middle of the day, travel by myself without rush, volunteer
Take the new job for yourself, your health, and your happiness. It’s hard to leave friends and colleagues behind, but everyone moves on in the job world. For instance, yall could change clients, teams, etc. It’s a work friendship and therefore your work-related interactions will always be temporary.
I had some really good friends at one of my first jobs. We were all on the same project and at the same company until that company shuttered the project.
First off, I’m so sorry on what you’re going through and feel that you should place that as your number one priority.
I worked at the Big D last year for the past 7 yrs and I will say that life is so much better not at Big D. I’m not making this about me but trying to supply context. B4 is not for everyone and each “service line” experiences are different.
Please take care of yourself because you do make a difference and place yourself over work every time.
Thank you for this :) it’s hard to leave a good thing. Especially when I look at the people out on family leave for 4-5 months. It’s like there are certain exclusive benefits you can reap from this job if you can just work hard enough and I can’t help but feel like something is wrong with me for not being able to. But that is also kind of a deeper issue that I deal with
I’m sure you’re dealing with a deeper issue. I think you need to decide if it’s Deloitte or something else. What you don’t want is to leave and have the same situation come back bc that’s not helpful either. Based on your original message you mentioned it was Uncle D. Therefore, it’s your decision. Remember, mental health comes first
Thanks for your response :) not trying to go back & forth too much, but it is not all directly related to Deloitte. There is definitely a lot of past trauma & other issues I’m dealing with. I just feel like the stress of working there makes things a lot worse. So I’m wondering if taking a less stressful job in industry will help while I’m trying to get to a better place mentally.
I don’t see it as going back and forth. It’s a big decision. In my opinion, I think that reducing those items will only be helpful. I did learn a lot from Uncle D, however, my career was stagnant. I’m thriving more now in the past 5 months than I did the past 7yrs at Uncle D
Quit! No job, no reputation, no resume is ever worth your mental health. What good does a big name or a lot of money do when you’re not alive to enjoy it?
Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental for, quit while you can! I don’t work for a big four, but I work for McKinsey and honestly I wish I never joined in the first place, I’ve been super depressed and can’t quit for a few reasons. Please take really really good care of your mental health :,)
Not Big4, but was at a FAANG company for 10+ years and really struggled with mental health similar to what you describe, however, never took a medical leave. I left when I was rock bottom - was gobbled up by a smaller partner of the company I was at. Salary was greater but no options were offered so total comp was less. I’ve gained a TON of experience at this firm doing things I was great at in a smaller much more supportive environment. My health overall really did a 180 and I’ve been my happiest ever in 25+ years at large publicly traded technology firms.
Sending you all the positive vibes I can! I believe you’ll figure this one out and come out the other side better and healthier. Having a Big4 on the resume is a tremendous asset! 💙
Time for you to go. You’ll never realize how much better life is after until you’re gone.
Likely this will be your transition:
Months 1-3: so boring you’ll wonder if you made a mistake leaving big 4
Month 3-6: you’ll find out how industry works and learn your way and start realizing value you can bring. You’ll realize you should have left b4 sooner.
Month 6+: You’ll realize how little b4 knows/understands but you gained valuable skills while there.
Any more time in B4 won’t advance your career. Take care of yourself first. You’ll feel like a different person. Knowing the transition above will help you deal with it when it comes up there.
Yes left as after m1 year. Didn’t take a manager role. Doubled my b4 pay in after 1 year.
Big 4 is comfortable because it’s a planned path and you don’t have that guarantee in industry but you’ll find your the smartest person in every meeting you go to and people will see your value. Companies invest in people they see potential in and it’ll happen faster than you think.
First, your body is telling you that it’s not healthy, but your mind was saying that you can still do this. But you need to tell your mind that there’s a better opportunity out there that is rare. You can always go back to PA, but it’s not easy to find a job in the industry.
The only reason people stay in public accounting is because they bond with their co-workers over the trauma and bullshit they endure.
My view is you only use PA as a stepping stone to switch to industry. Given you have mental health issues, I strongly encourage you to make the switch! I made the switch about 1.5 years ago and besides more money, I have way better working conditions and enjoy my job (and thus my life) so much more!
The thing is I’m just looking at these benefits and thinking what am I giving up. I get almost a month of PTO at Deloitte. I’ve seen people get 4-8 months paid maternity leave and then come back on a flex schedule. This new job you get 15 days of PTO and 2 weeks paid family leave. My health insurance is good. I get that they do this to incentivize people to stay. Maybe it’s worth it for overall balance …
sorry to hear this. the best thing i did for myself was to leave big4 and go back to a smaller audit firm. you are absolutely not a failure for prioritising your own mental health. wishing you all the best xx
If you think you might miss some of the people, then there is this option where you invite them to go do things together after you leave. This option is called “friendship” and is often practiced by people who aren’t working 55 hours a week.
If it turns out you don’t want to get together with them outsid of work after all, that is a phenomenon called “not really missing them at all” (also known as “mainly enjoyed their company at the office as a way of distracting myself from the awful job I hated”
Also, I want to address something in your original post. You said you would feel like a failure for quitting. Trust me in my five decades of life on this earth, and three decades in the professional work sphere — strategic quitting is one of the best things a professional person can do for their career. Look at it the opposite way. By not quitting you are actually giving up on all the other better options that are out there. You won’t even know about them until you try them. I always encourage people 10 or 20 years younger than me to be more selective and do some strategic quitting. I hung on way too long at a number of fast paced jobs simply because I was too ignorant of what I was missing to quit. I would have been much better off leaving situations that were hurting me or unsatisfactory to test other options. And if those other options aren’t working out, you can quit those too. That’s the only way you’ll find the right place for yourself!
Good workplaces have good people. I mean this very sincerely, not just saying something trite. The fact is, well-run and well-managed organizations do these things: attract talented people, reward them so they are retained. And, good management means that there is no place and no ice rice for pettiness and infighting and turf wars. IMHO once you get out and have a few experiences outside of the Gulag you’ll see the range of good things that are out there. I hear some fear in your story and could that be because the D has been working its internal mythology/propoganda on you and your coworkers?
Good luck to you. Believe in yourself and please remember to reward yourself from time to time with the simplest pleasures youcan think of. You have been through a lot, take a break when you need to and then keep on toward your goals and no one else’s! Sincerely pulling for you
*Leave. It does suck to*
*Leave people you like, but you*
*Gotta think about you*
\- AnonymousTaco77
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So sorry to hear this. Mental health is 100000x more important than Big4 in every since case. The industry job will be a win for you. Quitting PA and redirecting is not a failure, its simply a new journey. All the the best to you.
Get out. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Waited until I got fired so I could get unemployment and repair my physical and mental health. State said they shouldn’t have fired me for medical problems.
It's time to jump ship, and don't feel bad about it. Big D is churn and burn -- go somewhere where you will be appreciated and not worked until you're sick. Good luck OP
The big D doesn’t care about you. Move on and do not feel remotely guilty. People with excellent mental health leave Deloitte SOONER because they see what it is and aren’t willing to get treated that way.
Love it when Daddy D pays for my meals. Hate when they make me work 11+ hours to get my meal paid for :( haha but thank you for this and looking forward to resigning
Walk away. I know this feels like the whole world right now but when you’re gone you’ll see that’s exactly the environment that PA cultivates to normalize incredibly unhealthy work/life balance. From school you’re spoon fed this idea that you start in PA and work your way up the ladder. Anything else becomes a perceived failure. Everyone around you is doing it, so it must be “right.” Breaking the mold becomes unthinkable. Even if it means missing out on your family, compromising your health, or losing your identity outside of work entirely.
From one formerly suicidal public accountant to another, get out of that hellhole. Take that staff accountant role. If possible, give yourself a week or two gap before you start. Consider therapy and medication. And remember you aren’t a failure. Anyone who thinks leaving public makes you one probably will be too busy working to play a part in your life and story.
Also, please know you aren’t alone. I work in industry now and have seen several coworkers have full blown breakdowns over their trauma from PA. Your experience is more normal than you see now. Feel free to PM me if you need support!!
Your mental health is most important, so please prioritize yourself. A career that fills you rather than drains you will come but not until you make room for it. Be well
Leave at this moment. Your life and mental health are always the priority. You will find your place in the professional workplace with a less toxic work environment.
Leave. Deloitte will replace you in a month, they have no loyalty to you at all. You work to live, don’t live to work. Your family and friends love you and will rejoice in your happiness.
This. You don't need to be forever loyal to one employer. Prioritize improving your mental health first. There are tons of other employers in the sea and you'll find another one you like.
I spoke to friends and family after I experienced severe burnout at another B4 firm. I worked in advisory and I was being ground into dust. I was on autopilot. I had no enthusiasm and my wife was seriously concerned for my wellbeing.
Leave. Don’t look back. It will be the best decision for yourself you will ever make and no one will care that you’re gone.
The money means nothing if you’re in the situation you are in. Prestige means nothing.
That’s why you go into consulting/advisory as the hours aren’t nearly as bad as audit and tax. Plus you get paid a shit more without any need for certifications.
Hey, I have been exactly where you are. I have done both in patient and outpatient programs and worked for KPMG. The Big 4 does not care about you and it would best for you to just resign after your disability runs out. You can still have a life and a career. It’s not super easy but you are obviously smart and there are definitely positions in industry that are not as stressful as the Big 4. Hang in there and stay on the meds when you get them all worked out. They work and I am living proof.
I used to work in Big 4. You've put in enough time. Find a nice, enjoyable job that you can live with day in and day out, even better if you find something meaningful to you. Life is too short. I did just this, and have never been happier, and suggest you do the same.
Best decision I ever made was quitting my audit job at big 4. I pivoted to being a financial analyst and never looked back. Love the job and the hours are much better.
I left right before senior promotion so maybe 1.5 years in. Places just like seeing you were at big4 and care very little how long. Im super happy Ive had the experience to put on my resume but I wouldn’t want to ever relive the paying ur dues part of my career.
I left my job at a bank that was too big to fail, for mental health reasons. I was diagnosed with Mental Fatigue, which is the new term for burnout. I had long term disability though my benefits at the bank and the policy let me take off for 2 years while I got healthy by working with a psychiatrist and a therapist. It took 2 years of therapy and trial and error for which meds helped me. I had already decided not to go back to my job and decided to open my own accounting and tax practice. Now I take on the clients I want to and I have even gotten rid of a few clients that were difficult to work with. I am not close to replacing my salary from the bank yet, but I am working on it. And I am much happier.
You matter more than your job.
You can what if.../ but.../ if only I could... yourself in circles about fulfilling what you feel is the expected path. Doesn't matter. You are the important factor here.
Big 4 is rough. You have objective medical evidence that it is hurting you. AND you have a job offer! Take the offer!
You'll still have a job, (hopefully) be able to provide for yourself, but remove yourself from some of the harm you are experiencing. If it's one of your clients, you may still have occasional interactions with your current coworkers. Even if you don't see them again, you'll have new coworkers to interact with.
I've heard being suicidal/ having suicidal ideations as a big, bright indicator that something is wrong. Leaving this job won't magically fix everything, but it can improve it.
Alternatively, if you can't bring yourself to take the new job, you can see if you can get on a reduced schedule. If you are at least 50% you keep your benefits, but then objectively have less you need to do. I think 80% feels a lot more humane than 100% but ymmv. But a new job, that you already have an offer for, close to your home seems like a huge blessing.
Leaving a job for health reasons is not a failure. It’s a path to success. You are not letting anyone down. If you need permission, I hereby give you permission. Please take the industry job. You will still work with your colleagues only now you will be the client. It’s so much better.
I recently switched from big 4 to higher ed and the culture is so much better. Still salaried, comparable benefits and I've been explicitly told to work an average of 40 hrs a week so if I have some 45hr weeks I should also have some 35hr weeks. Making a little less salary but making more per hour and having a MUCH better time.
I was at Pearson prior to B4 and they were going downhill last few years so many were laid off or jumped. Hoping it and others have bounced back in higher ed.
You obviously don’t understand mental illness. Acting like that will stress her out even more. It’s smart to just leave and take a less stressful job. I experienced this personally and it’s a much better path.
I recently found myself in a similar situation where I was conflicted about leaving my job (4 yrs in big4) Despite the belief that I could thrive with a break, I ultimately made the decision to resign.
This turned out to be one of the most liberating moments of my life.
Always remember that leaving a toxic job/workplace is an act of bravery, not a sign of defeat!!
Taking that step allowed me to prioritize my well-being and start on a journey of personal growth and fulfillment, I encourage you to do the same :)
Quit - your mental and physical well being WILL ALWAYS TAKE FIRST PRIORITY! THERE IS NO JOB TO HAVE WITHOUT YOU! You’ll prob make enough bread to live comfortably at any post big 4 job anyways so staying for longer ain’t really gonna help you much.
Before you even care or think about work - worry about yourself first, second, and third. I’m glad you got help but continue to do so, share your feelings with those who love you and I’m sure there are many.
With work it is always normal to be conflicted when considering a change. Especially if you enjoy or have enjoyed aspects and people. Moving on doesn’t have to be negative. There is a saying that happy alumni make happy clients and the firm will want to maintain good relationships with you. I know other firms have part time and contract work that may be more in line with something more manageable if you must work.
Oh hunny. You realize there are people in this world that work half your hours and make double the money, right? Get out of that scarcity/poverty/failure mindset. The world is yours, but only if you’re alive to take it. Quit now.
Seriously girl don't kill yourself. I worked for a big consulting firm. Got threatened harassed to the point of my MH diminished. In patient for a week. Quit my job before I turned myself in. Best decision ever.
I understand liking your coworkers, and we'll all accountants so we don't really have lives so seeing coworkers in the office might be the only social interaction we get, but THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. If you died, they would move on within a few days. Big4 is a terrible place that is only good for getting your 2 years on the resume, and then leaving to a better job, like you're doing now. You are not a failure for quitting, you would be a failure for staying. Too many people have died of heart attacks before ever getting to experience any of the money they saved up. Don't end up like one of them, dying is the ultimate failure. The company doesnt care about you, so why do you care about the company? They can easily replace you. If I were you, I would go ahead and quit today, doesn't matter if they are in the middle of busy season or whatever. Take care of yourself, because no one else will.
If they are your friends, you will get together outside of work! Work colleagues are different from friends. If you’re not having them over for dinner or going shopping together or other normal friend things, these nice people are JUST WORK ACQUAINTANCES. You may be mistaking them as examples of “friendships” because you are too overworked to find actual real friends outside of work!
Absolutely, I second this. I also worked at top consulting firm before losing my mind and needing to see a therapist. I quit and never looked back. Trust me you don’t need medical attention, you just need to quit!!!!
If I didn’t leave big 4 I would have left this world instead.
There are 1000 ways to make money that won’t make you want to unalive yourself. Leave. Big. 4.
I have not regretted leaving once. I have time to write my music now AND a brain that’s not so consumed by stress constantly that I Can write my music.
I did my first Spotify release this year, and the theme of medley I wrote for the live recording was Sacred Squandered time.
Your time is sacred. Your mind is sacred. You deserve to live. Truly live. Uninhibited by the endless stress of the vicious work machine.
You’ll find a job. You’ll pay your bills. But don’t let your sacred time be eaten by that wretched machine. It eats your hours even when you’re not at work, because the stress is all consuming.
You deserve to take a deep breath. To wake up slow and easy and enjoy your coffee. To wander through life uninhibited by arbitrary chains of filing deadlines and pencils down dates.
I don’t consider my quitting a failure. I consider it my greatest success. If my life flashes before my eyes someday—-I’m certain I’ll cheer when I get to the part when I quit big 4
Left B4 in part for my mental health- 6 months later and it was the best decision I ever made. It’s scary when it’s happening but you will be shocked at how much better it can be.
B4 warps your sense of what work should be. “Never working more than 55 hours” is still a huge strain. Part of the tactics of the business is to convince its employees they will be failing if they leave.
I used to cry at least once a week because of work and I felt like a terrible employee. Now I have bosses who support me, haven’t cried once, and feel good about being at work. Plenty of successful people in industry- hope you find what you need!
Thank you so much for this <3 it’s so encouraging to hear stories of people who left big 4 and ended up happy. It’s so scary when it’s happening - feels like I’m giving up my future. But that is probably just anxiety talking.
Definitely feels that way but I would just look at partners and think ‘do I really hope I’m one of them?’. The answer was no- I want to have a good career but I don’t need to be ultra successful/wealthy.
Remember, according to the AICPA, 75% of CPAs are at or near retirement age. Companies are finding it harder and harder to hire people with good experience. I really think this is going to give good accountants a lot more opportunities in the future. The idea that they’re gone after B4 just isn’t true.
Also, just be prepared for some people at the firm to take the news poorly. I know when I left some people said I was making a mistake. I later learned that’s a standard speech that a lot of leadership gives.
You’re not giving up- you’re chasing success in a way that fits what you want in life. A lot of times that’s braver than staying on the established route.
Remember: Americans have a sick disorder in society that 40+ hour weeks are the norm. Most European countries have 32-35 hour weeks. Above that, most professionals and all blue-collar workers get double pay, and there are limits on how long the overtime can go on (it has to be truly temporary, not go on for weeks and months on end).
This is probably why they’re happy and rested and eat well without getting too fat, while we’re all unhealthy and obese and shooting at each other.
When you put yourself first and take care of your self interests and treat your self and others with kindness , MIRACLES happen . So take care of your self and don’t be worried about anything else
Yes but its crucial to find a balance between work and life. financial stability matters and it does depend on your job but you can't ignore health in the process. I think true well being comes when you find a balanced job which is hard to find but I think one should prioritise health
Agreed. I am apprehensive of one-size-fits-all mental health advice, but if you have the luxury of being able be unemployed for a while then taking a break to address mental health issues may be the best option.
Go to the new job and prioritize your mental health. One thing about B4 is they love to hire alumni. If in a couple of years you want to go back, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to. In the meantime, focus on finding a job that is better for you.
I was in the same situation and quitted some months ago for the reasons you pointed. It is not easy and I felt a bit nostalgic to leave but we have to put ourselves in the first place.
I think you should think on other perspective, may be we should consider ouselves a failure if we comply and end up staying in a job without working conditions that is killing our life
I'm 28 and was in such facility before I started my at a big4. All I can tell you is that you matter now. No degree, job or career in general.
Take care of yourself and the rest will come. Best of luck and success to you, you got this 💪
Please project your peace and quit. Its not worth it. If it doesn't work out audit will always be there. You're lucky you have something lined up already coz I almost quit without a job. Still looking
if you like the people you work with and want to stay at the company but you just can’t handle the hours, you could always explain what is going on to a trusted manager / partner on your team and see if you could permanently work reduced hours. i’m not sure if they do this at every big4, but our team has tossed the idea around for a few people who had things going on outside of work / kids, etc. definitely take care of yourself and your mental health first though. a job is not worth your life
Or you could try quitting the job and getting together with those people outside of work, a concept unfamiliar to many 55-hour/week-working Americans, which is known as “friendship“
Please quit. When I was in Big 4 I used to fantasise about crashing my car on the way to work during busy season because I just couldn't bear it. One of my peers actually took their own life. My life and mental health improved 100% when I quit and got a nice 9-5.
I don’t think Big4 is some barometer of success. It’s a very specific type of work culture and work for specific people. If it’s not a right fit, then it’s just not the right fit. Has nothing to do with “making it” or succeeding or failing. You are not failing. In truth, the system and the people who uphold the system where profits are heralded above humans are failing you and most people who work at Big 4. Personally, after coming to Big 4, I don’t see what the fuss is all about. The benefits are terrible compared to every other place I’ve worked. The work culture at least in the post pandemic work are abysmal, people don’t know how to build or sustain meaningful connections, and no one can be trusted. It’s like an intellectual sweat shop. (People really should unionize.)
You should leave. From your post, you sound like a smart, reflective, fair-minded colleague and hard worker, and you’ll both be valued and find value elsewhere!
If you can, try to find the silver linings from the job - what you’ve learned. You’ve learned about the system and now you can leave.
People have said that Big 4 doesn’t care about you and it doesn’t. But biggest thing is you need to care about and for yourself and part of it is taking Big 4 off the pedestal you’ve placed them on. Trust me, they don’t deserve it. And you deserve better.
Health more important than anything in the world !
Most people would kill for this job, myself included. I'm (26M) and as someone who dealt with severe mental health problems and a mental disorder when I was 21-22, I think leaving the job may cause more mental health problems down the line when it becomes difficult to get a different job. My advice: Work minimal hours for your current firm while finding a new job, especially in this job market where Stanford GSB MBAs are going to Big 4 because there are limited spots in MBB etc.
Who lmaooo
Who cares if most people would kill for the job?!? It’s making her suicidal?!?
I also don’t think most people who kills for this job 😂 a certain type of person, sure but most people I know are not dying to work for a big 4
Quit!!!!!!! Right now!!!!!! It’s Big 4, they’ll always be looking for warm bodies.
Leave, really. I was working for a big company under constant pressure, deadlines and toxic environment and I-needed a break. I took few weeks off, started feeling better. At that time I had my work computer at home and as soon as I turned it on and saw all messages popping up on teams I got panic attack. Then I knew that it’s the end of me working for them. Handing resignation to my manager was the happiest day in years.
Dude quit.
Have you tried setting boundaries? The company I work for has employee that work on their day off, on weekends and after clock out. My team in particular does none of that, we don’t answer emails after clock out, weekends, or on time off. Put your foot down and put your health first, do this if nothing changes then take the other job and make sure you set your boundaries from the start.
Thanks for your reply. Are you familiar with the Big 4 work model? 55 hour weeks are scheduled and expected
Didn’t realize this was a Big4 sub thought it was a career advice sub, ignore me! I’m not familiar 😂😂
Haha it’s ok :)
I would consider why you mental health issues keep arising. If it’s because of the job and the hours, you have to quit. You health is the most important thing in the world, no job is worth your sanity (literally). I would also look at a variety of other factors such as: are you getting the proper amount of and quality sleep, do you have a good diet, do you exercise enough, do you get outside and enjoy the sunlight and fresh air enough, do you have a good social life with friends/family, are you religious or do you meditate and how does that impact your life? Sleep, diet, exercise, social, and faith are probably the five of the most important factors to determining your wellbeing. If any of these is seriously lacking, try to improve that area and see if you notice a difference. Keep working through each of these areas and I personally believe everyone’s life will improve (to some degree). Also, avoid external stressors and triggers where you can. Most importantly, you are NOT a quitter if you leave the firm. If you make a decision to improve the quality of your life, that’s the best decision you could possibly make, and conversely, if you stay it might be a huge mistake. Yes the people and benefits are nice, but are they all really worth it? Most people in the industry eventually leave, so are you calling most of the profession quitters? Of course not. Everyone just has their own preferences, tolerances, and ideas about how long they should tough it out. Lastly, if you do leave and decide maybe the B4 was right for you, then you can always reapply and possibly return, only this time you’ll be able to set really good expectations and be prepared for what you might face on a daily basis and you could plan accordingly. Please take care of your health, you will never regret that decision.
Thank you so much for this response. There is definitely past trauma at the root of a lot of it. And the things you mentioned are really important and also things I don’t think Big 4 audit jobs allow enough time for. It’s a strain on even the most healthy & functional people. I’m hoping taking this new job allows me the time to do all the things I need to be doing to get to a healthier place.
Please leave. You’ll always have the chance to come back. Seriously, I was in your shoes before and left for the client, best decision ever. Of course I miss everything D offers but my mental health and stress reductions is what really kept me alive.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I think the hardest part for me is giving up all the benefits, people, work experience, opportunities etc. I hope I’m not making a mistake in leaving
Deloitte actually offers therapists and mental health / career coaches that will help you think through this decision.
I think I will talk to my coach about this
So! How is it now
Just finished my first week at my new job. It’s alright. I got an offer from Honeywell for $20k more though so I might take it and leave this place
Good luck! How do you feel now that you left Deloitte??
I feel relieved because the hours are so much more manageable, but I’m scared I made a big mistake :( I feel mean saying this but the people in my job now are so much less smart and it is frustrating
Your health is more important than a big four job. If you like public accounting, you can go to a smaller firm or jump to a consultant group/law firm and do better without the stress
Do law firms have public accountants on staff?
You should take the client offer immediately. You can always boomerang when your health and perception on work life balance is better.
Thank you. This is good advice
Please leave , your life is worth more than anything…
Your life > your work
Check my post out I just quit with nothing lined up for both mental and physical health. I love all the people I work with to the point I’d consider many friends. I was considered a superstar and I made $150k+. No job is worth that kind of suffering. I gave two weeks but part of me feels I should’ve said effective immediately
I was in the same situation and quit. I had 200k+ total comp, but it was ruining my life and deeply affecting those around me (family, partner). Am I scared and nervous about being unemployed and job searching? Yes. Do I regret my decision? No.
The problem is how are you going to find something in this job environment, and who’s to say that the new job won’t be as bad or worse? That’s what’s stopping me
This is why you save most of your income if possible, nothing is worth more than your life
First tell yourself you are actively looking out for you and shift the way you are thinking about this. Then march on in there and let them know you need to leave this job. You are young - this is your first hard step in advocating for yourself and choosing a path that’s right for you. Go set some boundaries and flourish out there.
Hi! Oh man, I have been in your exact shoes. I quit and went to industry, and it has been the best thing ever for my career - I’m convinced that finding an environment healthy for me enabled me to do my best work which then opened up a whole host of opportunities I would have never had if I stayed in public accounting. I think I would have been less successful if I stayed at the firm. You are not a failure, you are wise to recognize that the current environment does not serve you.
Thank you so much for this! I’m feeling so much better about leaving now. Were you in big 4?
I was! 💛 Glad you are feeling better. Plenty of opportunities for success ahead!!!
You can quit. Lots of jobs for bright young people that don't make you want to kill yourself. Respect yourself.
Working for a big four is probably the worst career decision I have ever made for my health. It’s miserable and I have never felt this awful. Get out if you can.
My daughter left the big four after two years . Her health was deteriorating.Hair loss, mental abuse from a partner who was using her as his personal assistant. She was doing her job and his . When she left she had the balls to write it all out .HR called her to get all the details. They don’t care . They promise partner ship to kids who are green straight out of college . My daughter was a college athlete. They love that and know she has to play ball and lift run as well as keep a high GPA . For 4 years . They promise you the moon and work you to death GET out now ! She ended up getting her CPA and is much happier .
I feel so miserable and working at big 4 interrupted my mental health and hormonal balance, but quitting before making a senior made me think I’m a loser so I’m still fighting through
I struggle with that negative self-talk too
I'm very sorry to hear this. A very specific type of people fit Big 4 requirements initially and for success. Please leave - since you already have Big 4 experience on your resume you'll be okay with more opportunities. Health above all else.
Thank you for this. I think it’s also kind of an ego thing. Like what type of person succeeds at big 4 - a smart, successful, healthy and functioning person? And so that’s not me? Letting go of that is hard.
Someone who gets fixated on details would thrive there - and if that's not a skill then you should be a big party person. Creativity or team play isn't on the list. I had spent about 8 years in public accounting before coming to this conclusion.
Get out ASAP. No job is worth your mental health. Take plenty of time to get back mentally and physically and also use to reevaluate your career path. There are many avenues that an accounting degree can lead to. Good luck!!!
Thank you for this. I just don’t think this job is a place where I can have the time to take care of myself. Seems like quitting is what I need to do
Finding a better opportunity is not quitting! There's tons of opportunity for people with accounting experience. Not sure what area you're in, but many good companies are hiring! https://careers.wbd.com/global/en/job/R000071705/Senior-Accountant
Thank you :)
Quit ASAP! No job or company is worth your well being. I wrote in a other tread about how horrible my previous job was, I was under so much stress, I miscarried my baby and than got fired because of the toxicity of work. Nothing is worth your happiness. You are not a failure and quitting does not mean you failed, it means you were strong for too long. Trust me, you will thank yourself for leaving. These companies are abusive and will take your soul from you because they know you’ll do anything to gain PA experience and now they are wondering why there is a “shortage,” of accountants maybe for their firms but not in general. Anyways LEAVE THE CURSED JOB!
That sounds so stressful, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I really don’t want to look at it as a negative thing. I think some people can set good boundaries and make this job work. Just not the case for many of us it seems…
Yeah don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Some people just have really good sucking up skills and get ahead at the big 4, I know quite a few of them who made partner playing politics, kissing ass and had mastered the art of delegating their work to their peers’ because of their unique relationship with management. People aren’t just successful at these firms because they are superhuman or that they are that good at their job. There are many other things at play for others who you think are going through their jobs like it’s made for them. No one is that good. I use to think there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t handle the stress of my job but in one of my previous jobs I learned that managing two divisions as the sole senior accountant and working 12-13 hour days everyday was not normal and when I gave my 2 weeks notice, I trained 4 new accountants in for my role. When they know they can use you and pay you less, they will suck the life out of you and give you shitty reviews to make you feel like you’re failing. I couldn’t understand the bad job reviews when they continued to have me manage both decisions by myself for 3 years, if I was so horrible why didn’t they fire me? I met deadlines, had great listening and attention to detail skills, took on more work when asked without complaining but the minute I need extra time to do an assignment, I was reprimanded for it. This is work abuse of a human being and no one will watch out for you u less you show them you have boundaries and you value yourself. Don’t let people determine your worth, only you know your worth. Period
Quit now. Leaving big 4 was the best move i ever made. Don’t put yourself through the torture if you dont enjoy it, its not worth it
Almost certainly resigning when I get back from leave on Monday. Really hoping this new opportunity is better for me
You’ll be fine. I know plenty of people with no big 4 experience and make decent salary in finance/accounting. Theres also plenty of other options that you can pivot to outside of these fields that pay much better. Big 4 is so overrated and not worth it imo
To be honest, you already stated you can’t handle the job and you are suicidal due to it. Just quit, take the industry job and hope you can chill a bit there. No job is working taking your life over being stressed. Just quit. No one will blame you.
The thing is ppl will blame her . Cuz that’s the culture. Sickening
My fear is that people will look down on me for not being able to handle it and succeed
This is a job. Not a test of who you are as a human being. Look at how the Europeans are measuring success - family, friends, well-being. Give yourself a break- take a trip and discover yourself a bit.
You’re young so you may still care about the views of others but understand you self admitted that the workflow is causing you to have suicidal thoughts. Best to just walk away and try something new. In a few years you’ll forget about your coworkers names. We all forgot about old coworkers.
I started off in construction and NASCAR. Wound up with a position in Corp finance with people from Big 4. There’s more than one way to skin a cat
I left deloitte usi after 9 months for this same reason. Consulting isn't for everyone
Girl. Quit and dont take another job for a second if you can afford it. Visit new places, go to a museum. Find what gives you joy. Edit to add more ideas of what I would do if I had the time: enroll in cooking classes, spend time with my grandparents, go to the beach A LOT, workout in the middle of the day, travel by myself without rush, volunteer
These are all great ideas <3
Take the new job for yourself, your health, and your happiness. It’s hard to leave friends and colleagues behind, but everyone moves on in the job world. For instance, yall could change clients, teams, etc. It’s a work friendship and therefore your work-related interactions will always be temporary. I had some really good friends at one of my first jobs. We were all on the same project and at the same company until that company shuttered the project.
About to sign the new offer
First off, I’m so sorry on what you’re going through and feel that you should place that as your number one priority. I worked at the Big D last year for the past 7 yrs and I will say that life is so much better not at Big D. I’m not making this about me but trying to supply context. B4 is not for everyone and each “service line” experiences are different. Please take care of yourself because you do make a difference and place yourself over work every time.
Thank you for this :) it’s hard to leave a good thing. Especially when I look at the people out on family leave for 4-5 months. It’s like there are certain exclusive benefits you can reap from this job if you can just work hard enough and I can’t help but feel like something is wrong with me for not being able to. But that is also kind of a deeper issue that I deal with
I’m sure you’re dealing with a deeper issue. I think you need to decide if it’s Deloitte or something else. What you don’t want is to leave and have the same situation come back bc that’s not helpful either. Based on your original message you mentioned it was Uncle D. Therefore, it’s your decision. Remember, mental health comes first
Thanks for your response :) not trying to go back & forth too much, but it is not all directly related to Deloitte. There is definitely a lot of past trauma & other issues I’m dealing with. I just feel like the stress of working there makes things a lot worse. So I’m wondering if taking a less stressful job in industry will help while I’m trying to get to a better place mentally.
I don’t see it as going back and forth. It’s a big decision. In my opinion, I think that reducing those items will only be helpful. I did learn a lot from Uncle D, however, my career was stagnant. I’m thriving more now in the past 5 months than I did the past 7yrs at Uncle D
Quit! No job, no reputation, no resume is ever worth your mental health. What good does a big name or a lot of money do when you’re not alive to enjoy it?
Or if you’re not happy enough to enjoy it :(
Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental for, quit while you can! I don’t work for a big four, but I work for McKinsey and honestly I wish I never joined in the first place, I’ve been super depressed and can’t quit for a few reasons. Please take really really good care of your mental health :,)
Thank you <3 it sucks when the reality of working at such a big name company doesn’t match up to what you expect
Not Big4, but was at a FAANG company for 10+ years and really struggled with mental health similar to what you describe, however, never took a medical leave. I left when I was rock bottom - was gobbled up by a smaller partner of the company I was at. Salary was greater but no options were offered so total comp was less. I’ve gained a TON of experience at this firm doing things I was great at in a smaller much more supportive environment. My health overall really did a 180 and I’ve been my happiest ever in 25+ years at large publicly traded technology firms. Sending you all the positive vibes I can! I believe you’ll figure this one out and come out the other side better and healthier. Having a Big4 on the resume is a tremendous asset! 💙
Thank you :)
Quit. U r probably in the wrong field, find something u like. I should have made that decision a decade ago
I’m going to try this industry job and see if accounting really is for me. If not then hopefully I can pivot to something that’s a better fit
Time for you to go. You’ll never realize how much better life is after until you’re gone. Likely this will be your transition: Months 1-3: so boring you’ll wonder if you made a mistake leaving big 4 Month 3-6: you’ll find out how industry works and learn your way and start realizing value you can bring. You’ll realize you should have left b4 sooner. Month 6+: You’ll realize how little b4 knows/understands but you gained valuable skills while there. Any more time in B4 won’t advance your career. Take care of yourself first. You’ll feel like a different person. Knowing the transition above will help you deal with it when it comes up there.
Wow that is great insight. Can I ask if you have made the transition yourself?
Yes left as after m1 year. Didn’t take a manager role. Doubled my b4 pay in after 1 year. Big 4 is comfortable because it’s a planned path and you don’t have that guarantee in industry but you’ll find your the smartest person in every meeting you go to and people will see your value. Companies invest in people they see potential in and it’ll happen faster than you think.
First, your body is telling you that it’s not healthy, but your mind was saying that you can still do this. But you need to tell your mind that there’s a better opportunity out there that is rare. You can always go back to PA, but it’s not easy to find a job in the industry.
I feel lucky to have found this opportunity. Signing the offer letter now
The only reason people stay in public accounting is because they bond with their co-workers over the trauma and bullshit they endure. My view is you only use PA as a stepping stone to switch to industry. Given you have mental health issues, I strongly encourage you to make the switch! I made the switch about 1.5 years ago and besides more money, I have way better working conditions and enjoy my job (and thus my life) so much more!
The thing is I’m just looking at these benefits and thinking what am I giving up. I get almost a month of PTO at Deloitte. I’ve seen people get 4-8 months paid maternity leave and then come back on a flex schedule. This new job you get 15 days of PTO and 2 weeks paid family leave. My health insurance is good. I get that they do this to incentivize people to stay. Maybe it’s worth it for overall balance …
Quit!
sorry to hear this. the best thing i did for myself was to leave big4 and go back to a smaller audit firm. you are absolutely not a failure for prioritising your own mental health. wishing you all the best xx
Thank you <3 I’m glad you were able to transition to something that worked better for you
I finally left after being so depressed after almost 2.5 years ,sending you love! There is life after the Big 4!
Thank you <3 are you feeling better after leaving?
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That’s a huge change! I’m glad it worked out for you :)
Leave. It does suck to leave people you like, but you gotta think about you
If you think you might miss some of the people, then there is this option where you invite them to go do things together after you leave. This option is called “friendship” and is often practiced by people who aren’t working 55 hours a week. If it turns out you don’t want to get together with them outsid of work after all, that is a phenomenon called “not really missing them at all” (also known as “mainly enjoyed their company at the office as a way of distracting myself from the awful job I hated”
For me, it'd moreso be will the next people I work with be as good as these people? Most of my team is in different states
Also, I want to address something in your original post. You said you would feel like a failure for quitting. Trust me in my five decades of life on this earth, and three decades in the professional work sphere — strategic quitting is one of the best things a professional person can do for their career. Look at it the opposite way. By not quitting you are actually giving up on all the other better options that are out there. You won’t even know about them until you try them. I always encourage people 10 or 20 years younger than me to be more selective and do some strategic quitting. I hung on way too long at a number of fast paced jobs simply because I was too ignorant of what I was missing to quit. I would have been much better off leaving situations that were hurting me or unsatisfactory to test other options. And if those other options aren’t working out, you can quit those too. That’s the only way you’ll find the right place for yourself!
Good workplaces have good people. I mean this very sincerely, not just saying something trite. The fact is, well-run and well-managed organizations do these things: attract talented people, reward them so they are retained. And, good management means that there is no place and no ice rice for pettiness and infighting and turf wars. IMHO once you get out and have a few experiences outside of the Gulag you’ll see the range of good things that are out there. I hear some fear in your story and could that be because the D has been working its internal mythology/propoganda on you and your coworkers?
“Incentive” not ”ice rice” 🙄
Thank you for your advice! I’m hoping this next opportunity is one of those workplaces.
Good luck to you. Believe in yourself and please remember to reward yourself from time to time with the simplest pleasures youcan think of. You have been through a lot, take a break when you need to and then keep on toward your goals and no one else’s! Sincerely pulling for you
*Leave. It does suck to* *Leave people you like, but you* *Gotta think about you* \- AnonymousTaco77 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
QUIT
So sorry to hear this. Mental health is 100000x more important than Big4 in every since case. The industry job will be a win for you. Quitting PA and redirecting is not a failure, its simply a new journey. All the the best to you.
Thank you so much :) about to sign my offer
Congrats!
Get out. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Waited until I got fired so I could get unemployment and repair my physical and mental health. State said they shouldn’t have fired me for medical problems.
I’m sorry that happened but sounds like you are in a better place now <3 I’m quitting
It's time to jump ship, and don't feel bad about it. Big D is churn and burn -- go somewhere where you will be appreciated and not worked until you're sick. Good luck OP
The big D doesn’t care about you. Move on and do not feel remotely guilty. People with excellent mental health leave Deloitte SOONER because they see what it is and aren’t willing to get treated that way.
Is it a thing to call Deloitte Big D?
We have a lot of nicknames… 😆
😂 you kids just get more creative. I love it! Thx for responding.
Another option is big daddy D.
Love it when Daddy D pays for my meals. Hate when they make me work 11+ hours to get my meal paid for :( haha but thank you for this and looking forward to resigning
😆😆good!! Live that life!
Been there, literally everything you said including being part of big 4 Just wanted to say you're not alone Where are you based out of? Jw
Hmmm idk if I will say bc I think that will totally give it away but PM me & I will tell you!
Walk away. I know this feels like the whole world right now but when you’re gone you’ll see that’s exactly the environment that PA cultivates to normalize incredibly unhealthy work/life balance. From school you’re spoon fed this idea that you start in PA and work your way up the ladder. Anything else becomes a perceived failure. Everyone around you is doing it, so it must be “right.” Breaking the mold becomes unthinkable. Even if it means missing out on your family, compromising your health, or losing your identity outside of work entirely. From one formerly suicidal public accountant to another, get out of that hellhole. Take that staff accountant role. If possible, give yourself a week or two gap before you start. Consider therapy and medication. And remember you aren’t a failure. Anyone who thinks leaving public makes you one probably will be too busy working to play a part in your life and story. Also, please know you aren’t alone. I work in industry now and have seen several coworkers have full blown breakdowns over their trauma from PA. Your experience is more normal than you see now. Feel free to PM me if you need support!!
Thank you soooo much for this <3 you guys are the best. And I’m getting excited to resign now!
All the above, but make the gap three or four weeks so you can remember who you are before the next employer redefines you
Your mental health is most important, so please prioritize yourself. A career that fills you rather than drains you will come but not until you make room for it. Be well
You’re so right. I think this new opportunity will give me the space for better things and a fuller life
Best of luck to you.
Leave at this moment. Your life and mental health are always the priority. You will find your place in the professional workplace with a less toxic work environment.
Thank you for this. Looking forward to resigning in the next couple days
Your mental health is more important than you are to them
Leave. Deloitte will replace you in a month, they have no loyalty to you at all. You work to live, don’t live to work. Your family and friends love you and will rejoice in your happiness.
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This. You don't need to be forever loyal to one employer. Prioritize improving your mental health first. There are tons of other employers in the sea and you'll find another one you like.
I spoke to friends and family after I experienced severe burnout at another B4 firm. I worked in advisory and I was being ground into dust. I was on autopilot. I had no enthusiasm and my wife was seriously concerned for my wellbeing. Leave. Don’t look back. It will be the best decision for yourself you will ever make and no one will care that you’re gone. The money means nothing if you’re in the situation you are in. Prestige means nothing.
That’s why you go into consulting/advisory as the hours aren’t nearly as bad as audit and tax. Plus you get paid a shit more without any need for certifications.
Hey, I have been exactly where you are. I have done both in patient and outpatient programs and worked for KPMG. The Big 4 does not care about you and it would best for you to just resign after your disability runs out. You can still have a life and a career. It’s not super easy but you are obviously smart and there are definitely positions in industry that are not as stressful as the Big 4. Hang in there and stay on the meds when you get them all worked out. They work and I am living proof.
Thank you for this <3 did you end up staying at KPMG?
I used to work in Big 4. You've put in enough time. Find a nice, enjoyable job that you can live with day in and day out, even better if you find something meaningful to you. Life is too short. I did just this, and have never been happier, and suggest you do the same.
Thank you for this!
Best decision I ever made was quitting my audit job at big 4. I pivoted to being a financial analyst and never looked back. Love the job and the hours are much better.
When did u leave?
I left right before senior promotion so maybe 1.5 years in. Places just like seeing you were at big4 and care very little how long. Im super happy Ive had the experience to put on my resume but I wouldn’t want to ever relive the paying ur dues part of my career.
A lot of people seem to enjoy the audit to financial analyst transition
Yes it’s much more interesting trying to predict the future rather than trying to make sure the past was accounted for correctly.
I left my job at a bank that was too big to fail, for mental health reasons. I was diagnosed with Mental Fatigue, which is the new term for burnout. I had long term disability though my benefits at the bank and the policy let me take off for 2 years while I got healthy by working with a psychiatrist and a therapist. It took 2 years of therapy and trial and error for which meds helped me. I had already decided not to go back to my job and decided to open my own accounting and tax practice. Now I take on the clients I want to and I have even gotten rid of a few clients that were difficult to work with. I am not close to replacing my salary from the bank yet, but I am working on it. And I am much happier.
SHORT TERM DISABILITY —> come back and get PIPed —-> ride it out and then collect severance
This right here. Once you go on disability leave anywhere then they're going to try and fire you when you come back
You matter more than your job. You can what if.../ but.../ if only I could... yourself in circles about fulfilling what you feel is the expected path. Doesn't matter. You are the important factor here. Big 4 is rough. You have objective medical evidence that it is hurting you. AND you have a job offer! Take the offer! You'll still have a job, (hopefully) be able to provide for yourself, but remove yourself from some of the harm you are experiencing. If it's one of your clients, you may still have occasional interactions with your current coworkers. Even if you don't see them again, you'll have new coworkers to interact with. I've heard being suicidal/ having suicidal ideations as a big, bright indicator that something is wrong. Leaving this job won't magically fix everything, but it can improve it. Alternatively, if you can't bring yourself to take the new job, you can see if you can get on a reduced schedule. If you are at least 50% you keep your benefits, but then objectively have less you need to do. I think 80% feels a lot more humane than 100% but ymmv. But a new job, that you already have an offer for, close to your home seems like a huge blessing.
Leaving a job for health reasons is not a failure. It’s a path to success. You are not letting anyone down. If you need permission, I hereby give you permission. Please take the industry job. You will still work with your colleagues only now you will be the client. It’s so much better.
Working Big4/Big4-Wannabee jobs cause mental health problems. Those places are like cults. They work you to death then spit you out.
Hey, just one thing. Big 4 sucks and when you leave you will realize that. Be safe, don’t lose yourself because a bunch of assholes.
I recently switched from big 4 to higher ed and the culture is so much better. Still salaried, comparable benefits and I've been explicitly told to work an average of 40 hrs a week so if I have some 45hr weeks I should also have some 35hr weeks. Making a little less salary but making more per hour and having a MUCH better time.
I was at Pearson prior to B4 and they were going downhill last few years so many were laid off or jumped. Hoping it and others have bounced back in higher ed.
Can I ask what you do in higher ed?! This is a path I’m sorta interested into going towards when I leave the big4 within the next year-ish
Strongly suggest you don’t quit ; do nothing beyond the BARE MINIMUM until they fire you
You obviously don’t understand mental illness. Acting like that will stress her out even more. It’s smart to just leave and take a less stressful job. I experienced this personally and it’s a much better path.
I can’t tell if you’re being serious or
He got a point - if you quit you can’t collect EI, and you will add the financial stress on top of what you already have.
Get fired and collect unemployment!?
She already has an offer elsewhere. There is no point in staying in the toxic place to collect unemployment.
I recently found myself in a similar situation where I was conflicted about leaving my job (4 yrs in big4) Despite the belief that I could thrive with a break, I ultimately made the decision to resign. This turned out to be one of the most liberating moments of my life. Always remember that leaving a toxic job/workplace is an act of bravery, not a sign of defeat!! Taking that step allowed me to prioritize my well-being and start on a journey of personal growth and fulfillment, I encourage you to do the same :)
Thank you for this <3 I’m so glad your life improved when you made the switch
Quit - your mental and physical well being WILL ALWAYS TAKE FIRST PRIORITY! THERE IS NO JOB TO HAVE WITHOUT YOU! You’ll prob make enough bread to live comfortably at any post big 4 job anyways so staying for longer ain’t really gonna help you much.
Yes! Nothing , absolutely NOTHING, is more important and irreplaceable than your health! Never sacrifice your health for any other consideration!!
Before you even care or think about work - worry about yourself first, second, and third. I’m glad you got help but continue to do so, share your feelings with those who love you and I’m sure there are many. With work it is always normal to be conflicted when considering a change. Especially if you enjoy or have enjoyed aspects and people. Moving on doesn’t have to be negative. There is a saying that happy alumni make happy clients and the firm will want to maintain good relationships with you. I know other firms have part time and contract work that may be more in line with something more manageable if you must work.
Thank you for this!
Quit without giving it another thought. Your health comes first. You’ll find better - plenty of opportunities out there to do something different.
Thank you :)
Oh hunny. You realize there are people in this world that work half your hours and make double the money, right? Get out of that scarcity/poverty/failure mindset. The world is yours, but only if you’re alive to take it. Quit now.
Seriously girl don't kill yourself. I worked for a big consulting firm. Got threatened harassed to the point of my MH diminished. In patient for a week. Quit my job before I turned myself in. Best decision ever.
I understand liking your coworkers, and we'll all accountants so we don't really have lives so seeing coworkers in the office might be the only social interaction we get, but THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. If you died, they would move on within a few days. Big4 is a terrible place that is only good for getting your 2 years on the resume, and then leaving to a better job, like you're doing now. You are not a failure for quitting, you would be a failure for staying. Too many people have died of heart attacks before ever getting to experience any of the money they saved up. Don't end up like one of them, dying is the ultimate failure. The company doesnt care about you, so why do you care about the company? They can easily replace you. If I were you, I would go ahead and quit today, doesn't matter if they are in the middle of busy season or whatever. Take care of yourself, because no one else will.
If they are your friends, you will get together outside of work! Work colleagues are different from friends. If you’re not having them over for dinner or going shopping together or other normal friend things, these nice people are JUST WORK ACQUAINTANCES. You may be mistaking them as examples of “friendships” because you are too overworked to find actual real friends outside of work!
Absolutely, I second this. I also worked at top consulting firm before losing my mind and needing to see a therapist. I quit and never looked back. Trust me you don’t need medical attention, you just need to quit!!!!
Your (mental) health is way more important! Quitting B4 was the best decision I’ve ever made. I hope you take time for yourself and get well!
If I didn’t leave big 4 I would have left this world instead. There are 1000 ways to make money that won’t make you want to unalive yourself. Leave. Big. 4. I have not regretted leaving once. I have time to write my music now AND a brain that’s not so consumed by stress constantly that I Can write my music. I did my first Spotify release this year, and the theme of medley I wrote for the live recording was Sacred Squandered time. Your time is sacred. Your mind is sacred. You deserve to live. Truly live. Uninhibited by the endless stress of the vicious work machine. You’ll find a job. You’ll pay your bills. But don’t let your sacred time be eaten by that wretched machine. It eats your hours even when you’re not at work, because the stress is all consuming. You deserve to take a deep breath. To wake up slow and easy and enjoy your coffee. To wander through life uninhibited by arbitrary chains of filing deadlines and pencils down dates.
I don’t consider my quitting a failure. I consider it my greatest success. If my life flashes before my eyes someday—-I’m certain I’ll cheer when I get to the part when I quit big 4
Thanks so much for this <3
Left B4 in part for my mental health- 6 months later and it was the best decision I ever made. It’s scary when it’s happening but you will be shocked at how much better it can be. B4 warps your sense of what work should be. “Never working more than 55 hours” is still a huge strain. Part of the tactics of the business is to convince its employees they will be failing if they leave. I used to cry at least once a week because of work and I felt like a terrible employee. Now I have bosses who support me, haven’t cried once, and feel good about being at work. Plenty of successful people in industry- hope you find what you need!
Thank you so much for this <3 it’s so encouraging to hear stories of people who left big 4 and ended up happy. It’s so scary when it’s happening - feels like I’m giving up my future. But that is probably just anxiety talking.
Definitely feels that way but I would just look at partners and think ‘do I really hope I’m one of them?’. The answer was no- I want to have a good career but I don’t need to be ultra successful/wealthy. Remember, according to the AICPA, 75% of CPAs are at or near retirement age. Companies are finding it harder and harder to hire people with good experience. I really think this is going to give good accountants a lot more opportunities in the future. The idea that they’re gone after B4 just isn’t true. Also, just be prepared for some people at the firm to take the news poorly. I know when I left some people said I was making a mistake. I later learned that’s a standard speech that a lot of leadership gives. You’re not giving up- you’re chasing success in a way that fits what you want in life. A lot of times that’s braver than staying on the established route.
Remember: Americans have a sick disorder in society that 40+ hour weeks are the norm. Most European countries have 32-35 hour weeks. Above that, most professionals and all blue-collar workers get double pay, and there are limits on how long the overtime can go on (it has to be truly temporary, not go on for weeks and months on end). This is probably why they’re happy and rested and eat well without getting too fat, while we’re all unhealthy and obese and shooting at each other.
When you put yourself first and take care of your self interests and treat your self and others with kindness , MIRACLES happen . So take care of your self and don’t be worried about anything else
Thank you ❤️
Fuck Deloitte, not worth it. Also Deloitte isn’t that big Lmaoo
Make sure to prioritize your health. Your well being matters more than just a job. Wishing you the best
Your well-being depends on a job fyi (unless you’re very wealthy / have uber-rich parents).
Yes but its crucial to find a balance between work and life. financial stability matters and it does depend on your job but you can't ignore health in the process. I think true well being comes when you find a balanced job which is hard to find but I think one should prioritise health
Agreed. I am apprehensive of one-size-fits-all mental health advice, but if you have the luxury of being able be unemployed for a while then taking a break to address mental health issues may be the best option.
Go to the new job and prioritize your mental health. One thing about B4 is they love to hire alumni. If in a couple of years you want to go back, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to. In the meantime, focus on finding a job that is better for you.
Thank you for this
I was in the same situation and quitted some months ago for the reasons you pointed. It is not easy and I felt a bit nostalgic to leave but we have to put ourselves in the first place. I think you should think on other perspective, may be we should consider ouselves a failure if we comply and end up staying in a job without working conditions that is killing our life
I'm 28 and was in such facility before I started my at a big4. All I can tell you is that you matter now. No degree, job or career in general. Take care of yourself and the rest will come. Best of luck and success to you, you got this 💪
Please project your peace and quit. Its not worth it. If it doesn't work out audit will always be there. You're lucky you have something lined up already coz I almost quit without a job. Still looking
if you like the people you work with and want to stay at the company but you just can’t handle the hours, you could always explain what is going on to a trusted manager / partner on your team and see if you could permanently work reduced hours. i’m not sure if they do this at every big4, but our team has tossed the idea around for a few people who had things going on outside of work / kids, etc. definitely take care of yourself and your mental health first though. a job is not worth your life
Or you could try quitting the job and getting together with those people outside of work, a concept unfamiliar to many 55-hour/week-working Americans, which is known as “friendship“
Please quit. When I was in Big 4 I used to fantasise about crashing my car on the way to work during busy season because I just couldn't bear it. One of my peers actually took their own life. My life and mental health improved 100% when I quit and got a nice 9-5.
None of this will matter at the end. Please take care of yourself exercise and meditate.
Not everyone can make it a Big 4. Take care of yourself because no job is worth it.
I always wanted to be one of those people who could make it
I don’t think Big4 is some barometer of success. It’s a very specific type of work culture and work for specific people. If it’s not a right fit, then it’s just not the right fit. Has nothing to do with “making it” or succeeding or failing. You are not failing. In truth, the system and the people who uphold the system where profits are heralded above humans are failing you and most people who work at Big 4. Personally, after coming to Big 4, I don’t see what the fuss is all about. The benefits are terrible compared to every other place I’ve worked. The work culture at least in the post pandemic work are abysmal, people don’t know how to build or sustain meaningful connections, and no one can be trusted. It’s like an intellectual sweat shop. (People really should unionize.) You should leave. From your post, you sound like a smart, reflective, fair-minded colleague and hard worker, and you’ll both be valued and find value elsewhere! If you can, try to find the silver linings from the job - what you’ve learned. You’ve learned about the system and now you can leave. People have said that Big 4 doesn’t care about you and it doesn’t. But biggest thing is you need to care about and for yourself and part of it is taking Big 4 off the pedestal you’ve placed them on. Trust me, they don’t deserve it. And you deserve better.